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Thursday, December 15, 2011

Thursday Night At The Arcade - Donkey Kong

Today's blog topic is about a gigantic buffoon of a character...one would even say that he's nothing more than a huge ape who has one hell of a temper, and is not above throwing things at people just to get his way.

I'll talk about that for a second, but first, I want to talk about a particular Christmas memory that is associated with this blog post.

I guess in some instance, this kind of leads to a rather interesting point about patience...and how that one particular Christmas was one where I had to go and learn the value of patience.

It was Christmas 1991, and it was already a year that started off tough. It was the first Christmas since my grandmother passed away, and it was really rough on my mom. In fact, there were presents wrapped up underneath the tree from my grandmother, as she had started her Christmas shopping just four days before she died. So, to see presents under the tree from her knowing that she was not able to see us unwrap them was a bit of a sad reminder. At the same time though, it was nice to see them, as in a way, she was there with us in spirit...and I think I wore that sweatshirt that she gave me until I outgrew it!

And Christmas 1991 was the year that I got the StarTropics video game, which I blogged about exactly two weeks ago, so that was a nice surprise.

But Christmas 1991 was also one that I remember as being incredibly frustrating as well. Partly because of my father's job.

For thirty-one years, my father worked for a major Canadian railway. He worked on repairing train tracks, fixing signal lights, clearing tracks of debris. He really worked hard, and he really came into his own during natural disasters, such as an ice storm that we experienced back in 1998.

Unfortunately, as part of my dad's job, he was expected to be on call for duty whenever he was asked. Because train safety was very important, and because the railway wanted to ensure that all the trains got to their final destination as efficiently as possible, the company made sure that response to potential problems was handled swiftly and quickly.

And as it turned out, at five in the morning on Christmas Day, 1991, my father was called into work. Turns out that one of the train tracks was blocked by some obstruction. And it wasn't a quick fix either.

So, you can imagine what happened next. Dad got called away to work on Christmas Day. And since my mom insisted on waiting until the whole family was there to open gifts, we couldn't open presents that Christmas until he came back home.

He didn't return home until almost ONE O'CLOCK IN THE AFTERNOON!

That sucked. By one o'clock, everyone else must have been playing with their various toys and games for several hours. Instead we had to wait.

Surprisingly enough, I handled myself well. At least compared to my sister, who was kind of in a pouty mood over having to wait to open presents. But I think her anger was more directed at me because I woke her up early on purpose thinking that Dad would be home in an hour or so. Hey, I was 10, I had no concept of time back then.

Though, seeing the disappointment on our faces, my mom attempted to offer up a compromise. She allowed us free access to our stockings, as well as allowed us to open up one present to tide us over until Dad got back home. So, I ended up searching through the tree to find a gift that didn't resemble a clothing item (believe me, I was at the age where I could tell the difference between clothing and toys in wrapped packages), and found a small box that I thought would be perfect to unwrap.

What I found was this.



It was one of those electronic hand held games...the ones that we had before the Nintendo DS and the PSP. This one was a version of the popular video game classic Donkey Kong.

And to my surprise, that game did hold my attention for several hours. To my mom's delight, I would think, since she was probably getting annoyed with us asking when Dad was coming home.

Though, I also remember a couple of years ago when I got my Intellvision for Christmas (which you can read about here), one of the games that I played was the original Donkey Kong game, which again was enjoyable.



That's what this blog entry is about. Donkey Kong, and the many variations of the Donkey Kong video game series over the years.

And it may surprise you to know that Donkey Kong inspired one of the most popular video game series of all time.

The date was July 9, 1981. That was the date that Donkey Kong first appeared in video game format. Released by Nintendo four years before they struck pay-dirt with their home consoles, Donkey Kong was a game that could have been described as one of the first platform games ever made. Well, at least that's what MobyGames states, and I'm going to go with that as my main source of information for this blog entry.

The game featured Donkey Kong as a giant ape...and in this game, Donkey Kong was the main villain. He had kidnapped a damsel in distress who happened to be the love of the hero of our game, a jumping man named...Jumpman.

Not exactly the most original name out there, but fear not. He'll change his name, get a makeover, and become a super star in no time.



Anyway, the game mechanics of Donkey Kong are simple. You, Jumpman...you have to jump and bounce over various traps that the big galoot of an ape has placed. These traps include rolling barrels, fireballs, conveyor belts, elevators, and other scary things. Apparently, Donkey Kong doesn't like sharing his toys with others, and this includes Jumpman's girlfriend. And because of this, Donkey Kong wants to turn Jumpman into Deadman.

That isn't good.



Relax, though. Jumpman has many tools that he can use to put one over on Donkey Kong. With tools such as hammers that he can use to destroy obstacles, as well as his own jumping ability, Jumpman's quest to the top doesn't need to be as impossible as the ape thinks it is. The final level of the game takes place at the top of the massive tower where Donkey Kong is keeping Jumpman's girl prisoner. The only way to defeat him is to destroy the rivets holding up the platform that Donkey Kong is standing on. If you do, Donkey Kong will plummet to his doom, and Jumpman and his love are reunited...and it feels so good. At least until the game starts all over and you have to do it all over again.

Now here's how Donkey Kong ended up kicking off a major franchise. You may have noticed that Jumpman has somewhat of a physical resemblance to Super Mario. That's because in 1985, the character of Jumpman evolved into what would become the Super Mario character, which as you know became Nintendo's official mascot. I would assume that the lady love of Mario then was probably the inspiration behind Princess Peach. Hard to say though.

But lest you think that Mario overshadowed Donkey Kong in popularity, think again. Between 1981 and 1986, three Donkey Kong games were produced by Nintendo, one of which was a juniorization of the game known as Donkey Kong Jr.

Donkey Kong Jr. also appeared as one of the characters you could choose from in the 1992 Super Nintendo game, Super Mario Kart.

But then in 1994, Donkey Kong really took off in popularity as the series was revamped and redesigned for a newer audience.



On November 21, 1994, the video game Donkey Kong Country was released for the Super Nintendo. The game was definitely not your grandfather's Donkey Kong. Redesigned by video game company Rare, the game was designed to be more like a Super Mario game. Levels set in various backgrounds, locations, and difficulty. Some levels took place in a jungle. Others in a mine cart speeding down a track. Some were underwater. Some were even in a winter wonderland, such as this example below.



The main difference was that the artwork and graphics in the game were incredible. Definitely one of the best looking video games in all of the 1990s, and one of the first to use pre-rendered 3D graphics. The game was promoted in a rather revolutionary manner. Anyone who had a subscription to Nintendo Power magazine during 1994 received a video cassette previewing Donkey Kong Country, which showcased levels, as well as provided tips for reaching bonus worlds. The video was only fifteen minutes in length, but it was enough to create a largely positive buzz for the game. When the game was released, it sold very well, eventually selling eight million copies worldwide.

And the game was fun to play as well. You could play as either Donkey Kong, or Donkey Kong's newly created nephew Diddy Kong (who might I add was no relation to Puff Daddy, P. Diddy, or whatever name Sean Combs goes by these days). The main plot? Donkey Kong's cache of bananas have been stolen by a group of bad guys called the Kremlings (who kind of resemble a breed that's half human/half crocodile. Luckily, Donkey and Diddy can follow the trail of bananas through each level to make their way to the head Kremling in charge...one King K. Rool, who roams the game on his pirate ship, the Gangplank Galleon.

Even more fortunate is that Donkey and Diddy have loads of friends to help them. Some of them come from the Kong family. Funky Kong can fly Donkey and Diddy to any world they desire. Cranky Kong may be cantankerous and stodgy, but has some valuable tips for making it through the game in one piece. And, the surprisingly seductive Candy Kong can help you save your game.



There's also animal buddies that can help you out as well. Enguarde the Swordfish, Expresso the Ostrich, Rambi the Rhino, Squawks the Parrot, and Winky the Frog are available for you to ride provided you can break open the right barrel to release them.

The game was so successful that two more sequels were released in 1995 and 1996 respectively, and a game was also released for the Nintendo 64. They too were enjoyable to play, and introduced a slew of new characters and animals (though they replaced Candy Kong with the more grandmotherly Wrinkly Kong, which wasn't a change I could get into).



And just recently, a version was released for the Nintendo Wii called Donkey Kong Returns. It's a game that I haven't played yet, as I don't own a Nintendo Wii, but I'm sure it's just as good as the ones that came before it.



Not bad success for a guy who initially started off as a villain.

And, you know, I guess I have to thank Donkey Kong for helping me understand the virtue known as patience. Eventually, Dad did come home, and we all got to unwrap our presents from Santa and everyone else...and I keep thinking to myself that Donkey Kong game made the waiting so much easier to deal with.

Of course, there's the whole issue of me needing something to keep me distracted to avoid boredom, but that's another issue for another day.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Across The Pond and Beyond - Boney M.

Sometimes your first experience with a band doesn't exactly start on a pleasant note.

Some of these experiences can include the following.

Supposing that your first experience with a band is at some sort of rock festival or concert and the band that is set to perform is a no-show. Or worse, they show up, perform a sub-par set, get into a fight with the crowd on stage, and end up cutting their set short about half an hour after they began. That wouldn't be such a great first impression, would it? I'm sure we've all seen some instances of this in our lives at some point.

Or maybe your first experience with a band came on the radio. Suppose you hear a song for the first time that initially you loved, and wanted to hear over and over again. And then by the time month number four on the charts rolls around, you'd do anything to escape the song because you've heard it way too much. Even worse, that song becomes a one-hit-wonder, so until the end of time, that group will become synonymous with that song that you never want to hear again. I imagine that would paint a rather dismal picture of that band for you.

Or suppose you've been interested in following a band or an artist by watching an interview on a talk show that they were guests on, and when you tune in, you find that the band members are so full of themselves and are quite rude in answering the interviewers questions that it totally turns you off to them forever. That was my experience with a certain female singer a few years back.  Who that singer is...I'll never tell. At least on this blog publicly.

And then there's my first experience with a group that I will be talking about in this blog today. There is a pleasant twist to this whole tale that before I'm finished with this entry will hopefully make you rethink your first impressions of the group the same way that I had.

Before I continue this story, keep in mind two things. One, I completely missed the whole disco phase in music that lasted between 1975 and 1980. I wasn't born until 1981, a year in which the heartbeat of disco had since flatlined. And two, although our subject had made their debut in the mid-70s, their material wasn't played a whole lot here in Canada, so that will explain why my first experience with this band happened a little over two decades since their first hit.

Our story begins in the year 2000. At that time, I was in my final year of high school, and one of the second semester classes I took was a course on world history. One of the main reasons why I took that class was mostly for the same reasons why I took almost every single history course my school had to offer. I was very good in those classes. I would often get high grades in those classes as opposed to math and science, in which I nearly failed.

I deal better with language than I do with numbers, which is probably why I'm blogging instead of developing computer programs.

Anyway, one of the units in my World History class was on Russian history. It was neat to learn about all the figures that were a part of that history, and I admit, I learned quite a bit.

One of the figures that we learned about was the Russian Orthodox Monk, Grigori Rasputin. And Rasputin's legacy on the world is very much hotly debated, with some feeling that he was a saintly visionary, and others feeling that he was nothing more than a controversial religious charlatan. But this blog entry isn't about THIS Rasputin, just because I think I would probably bore all of you to tears by making this a historical biography piece.

Here's where things got interesting. When we got into discussion about the figure of Rasputin, our teacher casually remarked that the Russian figure was the subject of a song that was released in the late 1970s. Naturally, most of us were in disbelief, as all of us who were in the room (with exception to our teacher) had missed the 1970s entirely, and didn't think it possible.

That is until the next day when our teacher (or maybe it was a student who had brought it in...my memory is a bit fuzzy in that regard) brought in a copy of the song in question, and played it on the tape player that we had in our classroom.



The name of the group singing 'Rasputin'? A group known as Boney M.



And boy oh boy did the kids in my class laugh at the song. I mean, forget the fact that it was a disco sensation that all of us had missed...the fact that a pop group chose to record a hit based on a historical figure that may or may not have been loved by the people? Talk about cheese!

Even I admit to laughing along with the rest of the kids in my class as the song played. It was by far one of the most bizarre songs that I had heard. Of course the reason behind why our teacher played it in the first place was because if you really did listen to the song's lyrics, it did seem to jive with some of the stories associated with Rasputin during his life and times. It included references to his alleged healing of a hemophiliac, alleged that he was the paramour of Alexandra Fyodorovna, and how the song suggests that Rasputin's political power overshadowed the Tsar's. I've included a copy of the lyrics to the song in THIS LINK so you can check it out and compare it for yourselves.

So, there you have it. My first experience with Boney M. And the impression that they left me with at first was that they were a goofy disco band, and that they recorded some rather cheesy and cringe-worthy songs.

The end.

Or, is it?

Turns out that there's a lot more to the band than that.



The band started off as the brainstorm idea of German record producer Frank Farian. During December of 1974, he had dabbled as a singer-songwriter, and recorded a song entitled 'Baby Do You Wanna Bump?'

Not exactly the best title for a song, but it was 70s dance music, so it sort of fit.

Problem was that at the time, Farian didn't exactly have the right look to become a recording artist. Instead what he did was launch a search to form a quartet named Boney M. (the name was actually a pseudonym that Farian himself had used), and this quartet would perform in his place. So, basically what you have is a band lip-synching to someone else's voice.

I guess this is also a good time to admit that Frank Farian later worked with groups such as Black Box and Milli Vanilli...both groups having had lip-synching scandals themselves (especially with Milli Vanilli in particular).



After several instances of instability in regards to finding the perfect faces that would form the group Boney M, the group's final roster included Jamaicans Liz Mitchell and Marcia Barrett, Bobby Farrell from Aruba, and Maizie Williams from Montserrat.

But it's been widely reported that of these four, only Liz Mitchell and Marcia Barrett actually sang on the recordings. The others just lip-synched to Farian's pre-recordings. Though in this interview that Mitchell did with the BBC, she claimed that while she, Barrett, and Farian were responsible for the vast majority of the recorded vocals, Bobby Farrell and Maizie Williams had sang live in concert performances in the band's later reincarnations.



Boney M. managed to get their first big break in September 1976 when they appeared on the German television show Musikladen (think a German version of American Bandstand), and debuted their single 'Daddy Cool'...a single which immediately topped the German music charts. The song would also top the charts in Switzerland, Austria, Sweden, and Norway. It also managed to hit the top 10 in the UK, which is where most of the band's success would come from. Between 1976 and 1981, Boney M. had several top 40 hits in Europe, and despite the fact that it was public knowledge that only half the band sang on the recordings, still managed to have a huge following. But then when Farrell left the band in 1981 and was replaced by Reggie Tsiboe, their commercial success took a huge hit. By early 1986, Farian had lost interest in promoting the Boney M brand (evidenced by the fact that he would start grooming his new pet project Milli Vanilli just two years later).

The original line-up would reunite in late 1988 to record one final album together before tensions between band members would lead to another break-up.

Over the next few years, the individual members continued to perform as solo artists (which strangely enough, all four members used the Boney M. name, as a court ruling in 1990 stated that all four members had the right to use it).

Today, the three surviving members of Boney M. are still performing today. Barrett, Mitchell, and Williams are alive and well, and still sing under the Boney M. name. Sadly, Bobby Farrell passed away at the age of 61 on December 30, 2010.

So, now that you know what the band is all about (and coincidentally, you can also visit the band's official website at http://www.musiclange.dk/ for more information (which is where the bulk of the research for this blog topic came from), now we'll get to my change of opinion.

Initially, I thought that the band was nothing more than disco fluff and largely forgettable, and I didn't think that they were capable of releasing a decent song, especially given the fact that their founder was involved in the Milli Vanilli scandal of 1990.

But then I changed my mind.

It was during the Christmas season, and while I make a habit of making fun of Christmas songs, and openly being a fan of bastardizing the lyrics of said songs, there's a few songs that I really enjoy.

One of these songs was a song called Mary Boy Child. I'm far from being a religious man, but something about that song really seems to make me get into the Christmas spirit. As you may know, the original version of the song was recorded in the mid-1950s by calypso singer Harry Belafonte. But there was another version recorded by a group that had a mild disco beat and was predominately sung by women. I knew that I had liked it, but for whatever reason didn't know who had sang it.

Until a couple of years ago when I looked it up online after hearing it during Christmas 2009 at work. Imagine my surprise when I found out who sang it!



ARTIST: Boney M.
SONG: Mary Boy Child/Oh My Lord
ALBUM: Christmas Album
DATE RELEASED: November 27, 1978
PEAK POSITION ON THE BILLBOARD CHARTS: #85

I know. Shocker, wasn't it?



Had I known that Boney M. was responsible for this cover version, maybe I wouldn't have been so hard on them for Rasputin.

I suppose if anyone had said to you that they were going to record a disco version of a Christmas carol, they might have looked at you funny. And I would have been one of those people. There was no way that disco and Christmas could blend together in perfect harmony.

That is until Boney M proved me wrong.

I mean, yeah, the video's kind of corny to look at, but that was hardly the band's fault. It was 1978. All performers had a distinct look to them back then. But if you get the images of the video out of your mind, it really was a great renditions of what is now a Christmas classic. And while it didn't even hit the Top 40 here in North America, it's widely considered to be one of Boney M's most famous recordings.

And yeah, I'm not afraid or ashamed to admit that I love it.



I guess the point I'm trying to make here is that as important as first impressions can be to someone, sometimes the follow-up can be just as important...and had I continued to dismiss Boney M. as some novelty band that didn't even sing their own stuff, I may not have come across Mary Boy Child, which is what I would consider to be one of their best songs.

But my opinion of that female singer who I mentioned above in the opening of the blog still stands. I may reveal to you who she is...for a price. ;)

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

The 12 Days Of Christmas


Now that today is December 13, it's just dawned on me that there's only 12 days left until Christmas...the perfect day to bring up today's blog topic.

Have you ever heard of the holiday classic 'The 12 Days Of Christmas'?

I'm sure that you all have, considering that there have been so many recordings of the song over the number of years that it has existed.

But, do you know the story behind how it all began?

I did a little bit of research behind why this song was created, and what the possible meaning of the song could be.

I mean, let's face it. Listening to the lyrics of the song, it's a bit of a trainwreck in itself. By the twelfth day of Christmas, you have some of the most bizarre Christmas gifts ever. It'd be like even weirder than getting a Snuggie in every possible colour and pattern underneath the tree.

Let's see...on the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...

12 Drummers Drumming
11 Pipers Piping
10 Lords-A-Leaping
9 Ladies Dancing
8 Maids-A-Milking
7 Swans-A-Swimming
6 Geese-A-Laying
5 Golden Rings
4 Calling (or Colly) Birds
3 French Hens
2 Turtle Doves



And a partridge in a pear tree.

(And yes, the photo was photoshopped by yours truly. A kind of an elementary job at that, but at least the thought was behind it.)

The point is, can you imagine having your significant other giving you all of these gifts? I mean, let's take a look at this. What kind of lover would appreciate getting a gift of twenty-three birds? Unless they work at a zoo or a bird sanctuary, I'm guessing not many.

And, with eight maids a milking and nine ladies dancing, what the hell kind of a relationship is this? Clearly one that's very open! I mean, what, if the man is busy with the maids and the dancing ladies, the woman goes after the lords, pipers, and drummers?

Heck, why not throw a whole bunch of long stemmed roses in the middle of it all and then we could have a Christmas themed version of The Bachelor! And with five golden rings to choose from, at least five will get some form of a proposal!

Yeah, I don't think that anybody will be giving gifts like these to their loved ones anytime soon, nor should they...unless their lover has a fetish for feathered friends. Though I did read an old Archie comic that had Archie giving Veronica all of these presents with help from Sabrina...and if I remember it correctly, I don't think it worked out all that great.

But apparently these Christmas gifts were in vogue circa the late-1700s. That's approximately the time in which this song was written. 1780, to be exact. Or at least that's what Wikipedia tells me. And we all know how 'reliable' Wikipedia is as a research aid. Alas, it's all I got, so I'm going to go with it.

If you're interested, a man by the name of Dennis Bratcher wrote this piece on the 12 Days Of Christmas, and a lot of the information that I've used for this piece comes from this page, so do take a look at it by clicking on here.

Although the actual origins of how the song came to be written are unknown (and will likely remain that way, since the song is over two hundred years old), but likely theories suggest that it was originally began as a 'memories and forfeits' game, where a leader recited a verse, and then the other people in the group would add verses to the original verse, and so on.

Even the country of origin is up for debate. While many seem to belief that the song was English in nature, there are some texts that suggest that the song might have originated in France. Whatever the case, the song was introduced in the United States around 1910, as a schoolteacher named Emily Brown brought it back to America for use in a school Christmas pageant.

The real meaning behind 'The 12 Days Of Christmas' is also debated. Some don't think that the song has any meaning whatsoever, while others have come up with conflicting theories.

The Oxford Dictionary of Nursery Rhymes has said that there have been suggestions made that the gifts represent something significant, possibly representing the food or sport of one of the months of the year. Others state that the meanings of the lyrics are purely Christian themed, although this hasn't exactly been proven as right or wrong. In some versions, the lines after eight maids-a-milking have been flipped around and reordered.

Below though is a list of the items of the song as compared to Christian interpretations though, just in case you were wondering.



A partridge in a pear tree = Jesus
Two turtle doves = The Old and New Testaments
Three French hens = The Three Kings Of Orient
Four calling birds = The Four Gospels
Five golden rings = The Torah or the Pentateuch
Six geese-a-laying = The six days of Creation
Seven swans-a-swimming = Seven gifts of the Holy Spirit
Eight maids-a-milking = The eight Beatitudes
Nine ladies dancing = Nine fruits of the Holy Spirit
Ten lords-a-leaping = The Ten Commandments
Eleven pipers piping = The Eleven Faithful Apostles
Twelve drummers drumming = The twelve points of the Apostles' Creed

TRIVIA: If one were to purchase all of these items for Christmas 2011 for your true love, it'll set you back about $24,300!

Now, just because this blog post is titled the 12 Days Of Christmas, I'll post a traditional version for all of you to enjoy. Here's Burl Ives singing the classic from 1951.



But, I like the versions that are sort of non-traditional best, just because it makes the song more fun.



I mean, check out this 1979 version of the song by John Denver and some special friends.



Now, keep in mind that when the song was pressed onto album format from the holiday special, some of the Muppets sang different lines. For instance, Beeker doesn't even show up on the Muppets special, but has a line in the album version.

And then there's a few versions of the song that have sort of bastardized the classic carol into something humourous and comedy filled.

Artists after my own heart.



One example of this was released the same year I was born. In 1981, SCTV was quite a popular show in Canada, and cast members Rick Moranis and Dave Thomas decided to release a Christmas song singing as the characters that they were most known for on that series.

From November 1981, I present to you Bob and Doug McKenzie's 12 Days Of Christmas, courtesy of YouTube!



For the record, a beer in a tree sounds mighty good right about now.



About six years later, radio personality (and personal idol of mine) Bob Rivers released an album known by the title of 'Twisted Christmas', which parodied a whole bunch of Christmas carols from 'Deck The Halls' to 'God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen'. And yes, he did a version of 12 Days Of Christmas...

...only his was called the 12 PAINS of Christmas. From the 1987/88 holiday season, here it is in all its glory.



I can't think of a better way to glamourize the materialistic hoopla the season seems to bring, can you?

One final example that I'll talk about was released in 1995 by comedian Jeff Foxworthy, who you may know from his 'you might be a redneck' comedy act. Well, he managed to take that one step further and released it in song format that year.



As you can see, there's many different interpretations of the song from the traditional to the just plain bizarre. I ask all of you, which ones are your favourite?

Monday, December 12, 2011

Monday Matinee - A Christmas Story

I'll be the first to admit that this particular year, I've been having a slightly difficult time embracing the magic and joy that the holiday season can bring.

Mainly because it's December 12th today and as of right now, there's still no snow sticking to the ground in the town that I live in. Which wouldn't be so bad if I was living in a place that never got snow. Unfortunately, I live in Ontario, Canada, and seeing how mild the temperatures have been lately, I'm getting slightly a bit on the depressed side.

Granted, the countdown to Christmas is at thirteen days, so maybe Mother Nature will accidentally leave her refrigerator open for Christmas weekend, blanketing the ground with snow in between defrost cycles. At least I'm hoping so, or else maybe Al Gore really was onto something with this whole global warming thing.

Until then, why not talk about a Christmas themed movie in this spot? After all, it is the Monday Matinee today, and today's movie deals with Christmas traditions that almost all of us who celebrate the holiday experienced.

Also it deals with some of the feelings that we may have experienced as children ourselves, and all the hopes and excitement that we all had during those simpler times.

Oh, and it has a little kid standing up to and defeating a neighbourhood bully. What's not to like about that?

I think all of us can recall one Christmas in which we had written our letters to Santa Claus asking him for one gift that you really, really wanted, but somehow knew that there was only a glimmer of hope of actually getting it. I know in my case, some of these items involved an expensive computer, the entire library of Archie comics, and the computer book that Penny used on the cartoon Inspector Gadget. Today's Monday Matinee topic has this theme in mind. How one little boy had something on his Christmas list that he really wanted so badly, he could taste it.

Or, how about seeing someone get a gift that you know is incredibly ugly, tacky, and tasteless, and yet seeing the absolute joy they get in receiving the gift. And then seeing the person who hates the gift try everything to get rid of the gift because it is such an eyesore? This movie has it too!

Or, how about getting a present from a distant relative who clearly doesn't have any sort of idea what the person wants, and then you're forced to pretend to enjoy the gift in their presence? This movie has that as well.



And, of course, who hasn't known someone who has accidentally done this on a cold, frosty winter morn?

This picture looks mighty painful, doesn't it? And, yet, this was a scene from today's featured movie.

So, kick off your shoes, and pop a bowl of popcorn as we get ready for the Monday Matinee feature for December 12th...A Christmas Story!



A Christmas Story was made on a four million dollar budget, and was released in November 1983. It managed to make back its four million dollar investment, plus an additional fifteen million on top of that. The movie starred Peter Billingsley as the main character of Ralphie Parker, a character that was largely based on the life experiences of author Jean Shepherd (who did the adult narration for Ralphie). In fact, a lot of the scenes from 'A Christmas Story' can be found in Shepherd's books. The movie also starred Darren McGavin, Melinda Dillon, and Zack Ward, and filming was done in both the United States and Canada.



The movie's main plot deals with the first topic that I talked about. The one about wanting something for Christmas, and nothing else would do as a present. In Ralphie's case, that something was a Red Ryder BB Gun with a compass in the stock. He literally tells everybody he meets that he wants the BB gun and he gets the same response...that if he gets it, he'll shoot his eye out.

It didn't matter who he told. Whether it was his mother, who outrightly refused to give it to him, his teacher, in which he wrote an essay for school on why he wanted the gun (in which he received a final grade of a C+), or even Santa Claus himself...



...the response was always the same.

You really had to feel for Ralphie here. I mean, I know what it's like to ask for something so outrageous that I knew deep down that it couldn't have been made possible (especially since I had never seen any Inspector Gadget computer books in stores in any of the years that I've been alive). To have everyone basically pooh-pooh his wish and desire to have the one gift that would ultimately make it the best Christmas he's ever had is kind of a slap in the face to him.

But then again, Ralphie was only nine. When I was nine, I was only allowed to play with water pistols. But, I digress.



That was the main plot of the movie. Ralphie wanted a Red Ryder BB gun. I can't tell you whether he gets it or not though, as I don't reveal the endings to movies featured in the Monday Matinee section. But, considering that TBS once aired 24-hour marathons of the movie, and that it's aired on cable television on a regular basis during the month of December since the mid-80s, it's a safe bet to say that we all know how A Christmas Story ended.

But there were so many B-plots that were interspersed with the main plot. It's like the A-plot was the fancy, shiny silk ribbon that held the whole thing together, tied up neatly in a bright red bow.

And in a way, it sort of links to the other holiday examples of what I find to be events that I myself have experienced during the holidays.

The first B-plot that I wish to talk about? Standing up to a neighbourhood bully.

Having gone to a school which seemed to have at least one neighbourhood bully per classroom, I know how hard it can be to stick up for yourself and fight back against them when you never know when you would come face to face with them. Now that I'm a lot older and wiser, I can stand up to most bullies and not even break a sweat. When you're a child, it can be quite difficult.

In Ralphie's case, fear had a name. Scut Farkus.



The red headed boy with one of the most awkward, yet completely awesome names that I've ever heard for a character used to bully Ralphie something fierce. He would throw snowballs at Ralphie, make fun of Ralphie, and when tag teamed with his sidekick Grover Dill, it seemed as if Ralphie was unable to escape the barrage of insults and snowballs that he had to endure.

That is until Ralphie snapped, and decided to fight back.

Needless to say, I don't think Scut Farkus would ever try to hurt Ralphie any time soon (and while I'm usually not one to advocate violence towards bullies, in this case, the Scut had it coming). Although, Ralphie was so enraged and in the moment that he actually uttered a few choice words, including one rather vulgar four-letter word beginning with the letter F and rhyming with truck.

No, he didn't say fudge. He said the F-word.

And for Ralphie, this couldn't have come at a worse possible moment, as his mother (who came upon the scene after Ralphie's little brother Randy ran off to get her in an attempt to break up the fight) heard the whole thing. And having gotten in trouble by his father (who Ralphie referred to as the Old Man) for uttering 'The Queen Mother of Dirty Words' while he was helping his father change a flat tire, Ralphie thought that he would be in big trouble. Maybe he'd even get his mouth washed out with soap!

Luckily, Ralphie's mother does a pretty convincing job of changing the subject at dinner, making the Old Man forget about the whole thing in a matter of minutes.

The next thing that I want to bring up is the part about the person getting an incredibly tacky gift that they adore, but everyone else hates. At some time before the film begins, the Old Man enters a sweepstakes contest, sponsored by the Nehi bottling company, and ends up winning a prize.

Naturally when the prize comes in the mail in a gigantic crate marked 'fragile' (which leads to some rather interesting methods of pronouncing the word), everyone is excited to see what the Old Man won. What he got was...well...unique.



The prize was a gigantic lamp in the shape of a fairly nice looking female leg, a symbol that was associated with the Nehi company.

And the Old Man loved it. To him, it was a symbol that he had finally won something in his life. He cherished it, loved it, kept it in a prominent place in the family living room. It didn't matter that to the average person, it looked as if it were more of an eyesore than a must-have item for a foyer or parlour. To him, it might as well have been made out of the finest gold with diamond dust sprinkled liberally all over the base. It was a thing of beauty.

So, why did his wife end up doing THIS to it?



Turns out that Mrs. Parker hated that lamp right from the get-go. She wanted desperately to get rid of it, and ended up resorting to drastic measures to make that lamp go away. You could almost see the Old Man's heart break right in two pieces when his gaze met upon the shattered limb.

Let's have a moment of silence for the lamp.

For the record, I can't say that I've ever been in a situation where I've despised someone else's gift so much to the point where I've wanted to destroy it. Granted, I've seen some of my family members give each other some really gross gifts over the years, but never would I develop enough rage to want it gone.

Though I can definitely sympathize with Ralphie when he was forced to enjoy a gift that he absolutely hated. Don't get me wrong...I loved my grandmother and late grandfather on my father's side very dearly, but they weren't known for giving me presents that I could actually use. I remember one Christmas, they ended up giving me a box of jellied fruit that I would never have eaten. Part of me wondered back then what the heck they were thinking. Of course, it took me a while to realize that they tried their best with the limited amount of money they did have. Besides, it really was the thought that counted, and their hearts truly were in the right place. 



Though, if they had given me an outfit like the one Ralphie had to wear in the photo above, I probably would have maybe thought about disowning them, or at the very least pretended not to know them. The outfit Ralphie wears was one that was probably better designed for a four year old girl...pink bunny pajamas that his Aunt Clara made for him to wear on Christmas morning. Ralphie hated the pajamas...even his father compared him to looking like a deranged Easter bunny. But, at least his mother told Ralphie that he only had to wear them whenever Clara came to visit.

There's other aspects to the movie that are present in the film that I could spend hours talking about (and I literally could, as it's one of my favourites), but I really want all of you to check out this movie to watch it for yourselves. It really is a great film.

One last video clip before I end this entry off...



...you saw where the neighbourhood dogs ended up stealing the turkey? I guess that could be symbolic to the life lesson that I wanted to bring up that is tied to this movie.

That lesson? There's no such thing as a perfect Christmas, so we should enjoy it for whatever it brings, good or bad.

You see it all the time. People stressing out over planning the perfect dinner, and buying the perfect gifts, and decorating their perfect trees with perfect strings of lights and perfect ornaments while addressing their perfect cards in perfect handwriting with perfect utensils, sticking perfect stamps on the perfect envelopes so they can go inside the perfect mailboxes to show everyone how perfect their Christmas is.

Who are we kidding here? Not one holiday season goes off without a hitch. Sometimes the gifts we buy people end up being duds. Sometimes the Christmas cards get lost in the mail. Sometimes the lights short out, and the ornaments get broken.

And sometimes dogs can barge into your home and eat your Christmas dinner, forcing the whole family to go to a Chinese restaurant spur of the moment.

But, so what? Sometimes it's those moments that people fondly remember the most about holiday functions. I mean, we wouldn't even have A Christmas Story had Jean Shepherd not experienced these moments first hand!

It's true that in a lot of cases, we remember the disasters more than the success stories. But if the disaster leads to a a family happily spending a holiday together and making the best of a bad situation, then it really isn't a disaster...is it?


Sunday, December 11, 2011

Sunday Jukebox - Same Old Lang Syne by Dan Fogelberg

I always loved songs that told a story.

It didn't have to be one that was a true story either. Just a simple song where the lyrics illustrate a tale with a beginning, a middle, and an end. Some of these story songs can have a happy ending. Others can be more melancholic.

Whatever the case, I always get fascinated by story songs, and am a bit jaded in the fact that the music industry seems to be ignoring them now more than ever in favour of songs that look like they were written by a sixteen-year-old text messaging to her boyfriend. It's kind of depressing to see the state of music the way it is now. Sure, some of the songs out there nowadays have a steady beat, and could get you on the dance floor about a couple of shots of alcohol or Jell-O shooters, but that's all they're good for. They lack the warmth, and the intelligence, and thought-provoking discussion that the songs of yesteryear seemed to embrace.

I don't know...maybe I tend to look back at things rather than ahead. Maybe I've always been one to dwell on the past than focusing on the future. I realize that this might not be the healthiest thing to do, but in the world of music, and losing my interest in the Grammy Awards year after year, sometimes it's good to go back to the way things were. When things were much simpler.

And when songs actually had a powerful meaning behind them and had lyrics that made sense as opposed to having every third word bleeped out in radio edits. That's not to say that the whole idea of telling stories through music is a lost art. Country music still accounts for quite a few story songs out there, as well as some independent label artists. But in the world of Top 40 music, these songs are few and far between these days.

Heck, if it wasn't for the fact that my singing voice sounded like William Hung's on a good day and if it wasn't for the fact that I can't play most musical instruments, I reckon that I would have gone into a career as a songwriter.

Today's song happens to be by an artist who sadly lost a battle with prostate cancer on December 16, 2007 at the age of 56. He spent years perfecting his craft, and managed to have his biggest selling album thirty years ago.



That artist was Dan Fogelberg.

Some of you younger readers might not know who Dan Fogelberg is, so I'll give a brief summary of who he was. He was born in 1951 in the city of Peoria, Illinois.    Having a mother who was a classically trained pianist and a father who worked at a high school as a band director, Fogelberg had always been around music. It became natural for him to want to pursue it as a career. In his teen years, he learned how to play a Hawaiian slide guitar that his grandfather had given him as a gift, and by 1967, he had been a part of two bands. Not bad for a sixteen year old boy, don't you think?

Fogelberg graduated from high school in 1969, and studied theater arts and painting at the University of Illinois, and started singing at coffeehouses in his spare time. Some of Fogelberg's first recording stemmed from this period, and in 1971, when Fogelberg was just entering his twenties, he was discovered by agent Irving Azoff. Azoff liked what he had heard, and he and Fogelberg moved to California together to seek out their fame, along with another band that Azoff was promoting at the time...REO Speedwagon.

It wasn't until Dan did some training in Nashville that he developed the skills needed to record and release his debut album, a 1972 offering called 'Home Free'. The album didn't do as well as he had hoped, but at least it did put him on the music map, and lead to him opening up for Van Morrison.

But then in 1974, Fogelberg released his second album 'Souvenirs', and it sold much better, as did the next four albums that he released during the remainder of the 1970s.



But it wasn't until 1981 that he would end up hitting his commercial peak, as well as his personal best. The album was called 'The Innocent Age', and although it didn't hit stores until October 1981, many of the singles from that album were released months beforehand. The album spawned four singles, each of them becoming some of his biggest hits in his career; 'Hard To Say', 'Run For The Roses', and 'Leader Of The Band' (a song that Fogelberg wrote based on his father) all hit the charts in some manner, with the latter hitting the top of the adult contemporary charts in early 1982.

What about the fourth hit single? Well, that's the subject for today's blog. It also happened to be the first single released from 'The Innocent Age'.

And it's a story song that was based off of a real life event!

But first, let's hear the song in question.



ARTIST: Dan Fogelberg
SONG: Same Old Lang Syne
ALBUM: The Innocent Age
DATE RELEASED: December 13, 1980
PEAK POSITION ON THE BILLBOARD CHARTS: #9

The first thing that I should talk about is that this is one of those songs that tends to only get played during the holidays. No other time of year do you hear it. I suppose this makes sense, given all the references to Christmas Eve and the New Years Eve song Auld Lang Syne, but it was still a good enough song to hear at any given time of year.



The song takes place on a snowy Christmas Eve at a mini-mart near the frozen food section. The subject of the song happens to be inside the store when he bumps into a girl that he used to date from years ago. At first she doesn't recognize him, but eventually she does, and when she tries to greet him, the klutz drops her purse, spilling its contents all over the floor of the frozen foods section.

They then laugh until they cry. Strange things they did back in the late 1970s/early 1980s, huh?

The two of them decide to go out for a drink to catch up on old times, but seeing as how it was Christmas Eve, finding an open bar was a bit of an impossible dream. Their plan B? Buying a six-pack of beer from the store, and drinking them inside her car.

They propose a toast to the innocence of the past, as well as their lives now, and they talk about what they've been up to since high school graduation. The lover is apparently married to an architect, and she gives off the facade that everything is hunky-dory in domestic bliss, yet gives off hints that she married for security and not for love. She also brings up the fact that she saw his album in a record store, and was happy that he was doing well. The man confirms that he loves to perform for crowds, but finds touring to be something he doesn't enjoy.

The two decide to toast again, and soon after, the conversation dries up as quickly as the beer in their cans, and the woman has to go back home to her family. They exchange pleasantries as well as a kiss before the man leaves the car. Watching her drive off down the road, the snow changes to rain, and the man is left feeling the same way he felt when the relationship between the two ended all those years ago.

Same Old Lang Syne. And, we cue the saxophone solo by Michael Brecker.

It's a wonderful example of these story songs that I was talking about earlier in this blog entry though. It's a song that had a beginning, middle, and an end. And sadly for the man, it started off happily, but ended up concluding in a melancholic manner.

For years though, nobody knew who the song was about. Some people even wondered if the song was based on a real event, or if it was fictional. Dan eventually conceded on his website that the song 'Same Old Lang Syne' was based on a real encounter that he experienced, but never named names, and it was a secret that Dan himself took with him to the grave.



Shortly after Dan passed away in December 2007, a woman named Jill Greulich (she's the woman on the far right) came forward, saying that she was the woman who was featured in 'Same Old Lang Syne'. Just one week after Dan passed away, she revealed that she had dated Dan when they were both in high school together, only back then, she was known as Jill Anderson. They graduated together, but broke up when they attended different colleges. By the time both were done with school, Jill had gotten married, and Dan had moved to Colorado.

They had stayed apart for several years until one fateful Christmas Eve.

The Christmas Eve that was described in 'Same Old Lang Syne'.

It was December 24, 1976. The location was a convenience store, which at the time was the only store open on the street. It was located at 1302 East Frye Avenue, and as of 2011, the store still exists, only under a different name. Jill was at the store buying eggnog, and it was here that she ran into Fogelberg, who was also at the store buying a carton of whipping cream. Everything that happened in the song happened as the song said it had, from the buying of the beer, to the toast, to the rain switching to snow, and everything in between.

Despite the accuracies between the song and the events of Christmas Eve 1976 through the eyes of Jill and Dan, Jill did reveal that there were a couple of things where the truth got blurred. For one, when Dan sings about her having eyes of blue, Jill's eyes were really green. Also, her husband at the time wasn't an architect. Instead, he was a physical education teacher. But Jill also revealed that it was highly unlikely that Dan knew what her husband did for a living as it had not come up during their conversation. Jill would reveal that as Dan had wrote about in his song, the marriage wasn't exactly Brady Bunch like. She wouldn't reveal just how bad it was, but she had said that by the time the song was released in December 1980, the marriage had dissolved.

The first time Jill had heard the song, she was on her way to work when the song came on her car radio. Upon listening to the song, Jill knew that the couple being referenced in 'Same Old Lang Syne' were her and Dan. But she didn't come forward for a couple of reasons. One, she knew that Dan had wanted to keep her identity a secret as whenever Dan was asked in interviews about it, he'd change the subject. Mainly, Jill didn't come forward because at the time, Dan was married himself, and the last thing she wanted to do was disrupt his marriage.

So there you have it...the story behind the story song 'Same Old Lang Syne'. And what a fascinating story it is, don't you think?

I think that's why I have a bit of a soft spot for songs that tell a story. As someone who wants to make a dent in the world of writing himself, I appreciate someone who can tell a great story. I especially give a lot of accolades to anyone who can take that story and set it to music.

That's why I wanted to feature this song for today's blog. It's a great song, made even more memorable by the fact that it was a true tale.



Dan Fogelberg really knew how to write 'em, didn't he?