Search This Blog

Tuesday, April 05, 2016

April 5, 1994

Welcome to the first Tuesday Timeline for the month of April.  You probably have noticed that I haven't been writing in this blog as often as I once did.  I'm saving up my energies for the upcoming 5th anniversary of this blog coming up in May where I will promise you one brand new entry for all thirty-one days in May.  So, I figure I can afford to coast through this month in preparation.

So today is April 5th, and there really is only one topic that I feel as though I want to discuss in this blog.  Some of you may already know what that topic is given the date, but for those of you who don't know, I'll be talking about it very soon.  Before we do that though, let's have a look at some of the events that happened on this date throughout history.

1614 - Pocahontas marries English colonist John Rolfe

1621 - The Mayflower sets sail from Plymouth, Massachusetts on return to England

1722 - Dutch explorer Jacob Roggeveen discovers Easter Island

1862 - The Battle of Yorktown begins

1900 - Actor Spencer Tracy (d. 1967) is born in Milwaukee, Wisconsin

1908 - Actress Bette Davis (d. 1989) is born in Lowell, Massachusetts

1909 - James Bond movie producer Albert R. Broccoli (d. 1996) is born in Queens, New York

1916 - Actor Gregory Peck (d. 2003) is born in San Diego, California

1922 - Actor Christopher Hewett (d. 2001) is born in Worthing, Sussex, England

1933 - Actor Frank Gorshin (d. 2005) is born in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

1944 - German troops execute 270 citizens of Kleisoura, Greece during World War II

1949 - Fireside Theatre debuts on television the same day that a devastating fire engulfs an Illinois hospital, killing 77 people

1951 - Ethel and Julius Rosenberg are sentenced to death for spying for the Soviet Union

1956 - Fidel Castro declares war on then current Cuban President Fulgencio Batista

1969 - Massive anti-war protests take place in cities across the United States denouncing America's involvement in the Vietnam War

1976 - The Tiananmen Incident takes place in the People's Republic of China

1986 - Three are killed and several hundred injured following a deadly bombing at a discotheque in Berlin

1992 - The Siege of Sarajevo begins

1998 - The largest suspension bridge in the world - The Akashi Kaikyo Bridge - opens to the public

2005 - Actress Debralee Scott passes away, aged 52

2006 - Singer/songwriter Gene Pitney dies, aged 66

2008 - Actor Charlton Heston dies at the age of 84

2010 - Twenty-nine coal miners in West Virginia lose their lives after an explosion occurs at the Upper Big Branch Mine

2015 - Actor Richard Dysart passes away, aged 86

And for celebrity birthdays, we have the following turning another year older - Mary Costa, Colin Powell, Gilles Proulx, Michael Moriarty, Allan Clarke, Max Gail, Fighting Harada, Jane Asher, Russell Davies, Dave Holland, Agnetha Faltskog, Stan Ridgway, Diamond Dallas Page, Greg Mathis, Christopher Reid, Mike McCready, Troy Gentry, Paula Cole, Thea Gill, Krista Allen, Waylon Payne, Pharrell Williams, Juicy J, Robert Glasper, Tom Riley, Hayley Atwell, Marshall Allman, Lily James, and Emmalyn Estrada.

And now for today's date.



April 5, 1994.  And yes, I do remember where I was on that date.

If memory serves me, I was just wrapping up seventh grade.  I was starting to develop a love for Mad Libs and word games and an intense hatred for seventh grade algebra.  I still maintain that math would be more fun if it just stuck to numbers.  And this was in the era BEFORE common core math really made everyone think that math was evil.

Another thing that I remember was the fact that grunge music was HUGE that year.  In between Ace of Base taking over with "The Sign" and Toni Braxton and Babyface cornering the R&B market, you had bands such as the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Soundgarden, Pearl Jam, Smashing Pumpkins, Sonic Youth, and countless other bands that mixed heavy metal, rock and roll, and alternative music to create the grunge sound.  I'll admit, being a twelve going on thirteen year old at that time, I had a lot of preteen angst, so I may have listened to a song or two or fifty that could be classified as grunge.

Perhaps the leaders of the grunge movement at that time was the band Nirvana, which formed in Seattle in 1987.  Over the next few years, the group (made up of Kurt Cobain, Krist Novoselic, Dave Grohl, and several other musicians) released quite a few albums, and had several singles that could be considered teenage anthems of the early 1990s.



Songs such as "Smells Like Teen Spirit", "Heart Shaped Box" and "The Man Who Sold The World" became instant successes and catapulted the band to stardom.  By the beginning of 1994, it seemed as though nothing could stop the band's success.

Nothing except the lingering depression that lead singer Kurt Cobain faced most of his life.

Despite having major success with Nirvana, as well as finding love with Hole lead singer Courtney Love and fathering a child with her, there were lots of things in his life that he could not control.  As a child, Cobain had issues with bronchitis and suffered from an undiagnosed stomach condition that caused him physical pain.  To cope with the pain, he turned to drugs and alcohol, and by the time he was married to Love, he was a full blown heroin addict, having several instances in which his drug use nearly killed him on more than one occasion.  Despite a couple of attempts to clean himself up, Cobain always relapsed.

But even worse than the drug abuse that Cobain put himself through was the fact that he had crippling depression as a child and as an adult.  It was alleged that suicide had run in the family - Kurt's cousin reportedly had two of her relatives take their own lives - and while Kurt's depression was likely translated into song on more than one occasion, nobody really understood just how bad it was for him.

At least not until April 5, 1994.

That was the date that Kurt Cobain drew his last breath according to the coroners who examined his body.  His body was actually discovered on April 8 by an electrician who had stopped by his home to install a security system.  The cause of death was a single gunshot wound to the head.

Kurt Cobain was only 27 years old.

His detailed suicide note was broadcast all over the media (which you can Google if you want to read it - I won't post it here), and his widow Courtney, admonished him at a public memorial scheduled for April 10 while reading the note.  I would imagine that after Cobain's suicide, it triggered Courtney's own addictions which nearly killed her on several occasions - but that's another story for another time.

You know, I still remember hearing the news as if it happened yesterday.  While I was not a big Nirvana fan at the time, I did like a couple of their songs.  I know quite a few people at my school were quite shocked and saddened by the death and there was a lot of Nirvana played at school dances for quite some time after his suicide.

But the writing was on the wall for months.  It was not a matter of if Kurt Cobain would commit suicide, but when.  He had been on a downward spiral for months prior to the suicide, and while I wished that he could have found a way to seek treatment before he came to the conclusion that death was the only way out, I can't begin to try to understand where he was at on that day.  Depression affects people differently, and it's not anyone's call to try and analyze it.  Kurt was sick.  He needed help.  And the sad part is that he never got it.  Some may say that some people in his life enabled him to keep using drugs even though they were very destructive. 




I often wonder what might have happened if Kurt Cobain were still alive.  Would he have finally gotten the help he needed?  Would Nirvana still have trudged along and still released records?  It's hard to say, really.  I suppose we'll never really know.

Friday, April 01, 2016

Jem Reviewed: Episode 2 - Disaster

It's time to begin week #2 of Jem: Reviewed...but before we begin, let's recap what happened last week, since we did get that dreaded TO BE CONTINUED logo at the end.

Jerrica Benton is a 20-something young woman who takes care of a home for foster girls with her sister Kimber, and friends Aja and Shana.  Her father recently passed away and an evil man named Eric Raymond has taken over control of his music company, Starlight Music, which he uses to promote his new rock band, The Misfits.  But with help from a computer that her father created named Synergy, Jerrica transforms into Jem, and begins a rock group of her own.  A contest is drawn out between Jem and the Holograms and The Misfits, where the winner will get control of Starlight Records, a new mansion, and a movie deal.

But Eric tries to sabotage the contest by hiring Zipper to scare the girls...only for Zipper to accidentally set Starlight House on fire.



Cue Episode 2:  Disaster.  Yep, flames pouring out of windows, suspenseful music...yeah, I'd say Disaster works as a title.



All of the Starlight girls are out on the front lawn watching the firemen try to put out the fire, and judging by the looks on their faces, they are devastated.  But Jerrica has more to worry about than the fire.  After counting all the girls, they realize that Ashley is missing.  Wherever could she be?



Well, Ashley ran inside the burning mansion to save the honor jar from turning into ashes.  Because after all, they have to buy that fridge for the house that no longer stands.  Even Jerrica scolds her, saying that her life is worth more than all the money in the world.



And so Starlight House is no more...just a bunch of burned out cinder blocks.  Sixteen people are now homeless.  Rio stops by the ruins to see what happened, and Jerrica, still clad in her nightgown, hugs Rio tightly, glad to see him.



The Misfits are also there to check out the damage and Pizzazz coldly states that it couldn't have happened to a nicer gal.  That's not cool, Pizzazz.  It wasn't just Jerrica that lost her home.

Why, look!  All the Starlight Girls are outside sleeping on the lawn outside of their burned down house.  I don't know about you, but that Honor Jar that Ashley saved could have got them all a couple of motel rooms for the night.  It doesn't seem logical for the fire department to have just left them sleeping on the grass.



But then again, logic flies out the window when Jerrica suggests that they put on a Jem and the Holograms concert right at that moment.  The Starlight Girls go along with it on account that they have no other plans since their HOUSE JUST BURNED DOWN!!!



So, Jerrica, Kimber, Shana, and Aja drive to the Starlight Drive-In to get changed (and hopefully get some clothes for their foster kids too while they're at it), and make plans to perform at Howard Sands' house.  I'm not sure what their plan is, but Pizzazz, Roxy, and Stormer are hot on their trail, trying to stop them every chance they get. 

Well, at least that is until Jerrica uses the JemStar earrings to turn their car into a garbage dumpster so that the Misfits end up losing their trail. 

Whatever the case, the girls get changed into new clothes, Jerrica changes into Jem, and we hear the first of three songs this episode.



I'd say that "Like a Dream" is another typical Jem and the Holograms song.  Light fluffy pop music with sugary sweet lyrics about love.  Basically, it's a song that the Misfits would NEVER sing.

But the song performance does get the attention of both Howard Sands and The Misfits, both of whom demand to know what Jem and the Holograms are doing on his property.



Well, after Jem changes into Jerrica again (narrowly avoiding a curious Stormer in the process), she tells Howard Sands the whole tale of how she runs a home for foster girls that burned down, and that she hoped that by serenading him with the gift of song, he would allow them to move into the mansion that is being offered as a prize until the contest was over.



Interestingly enough, Stormer's reaction to Jerrica's predicament is one of sadness, and she actually starts crying before Roxy smacks some sense into her.  Seems like Stormer might have a soft side after all.  Too bad you can't say the same about Pizzazz and Roxy.



When Howard Sands agrees to let Jerrica and the others move into the mansion, Pizzazz gets so angry that she shoves Howard Sands into his own pool!  Um, yeah...that ought to make you prove your point!



What's worse, Roxy somehow gets control of a bulldozer that randomly happens to be on Howard Sands' property, and starts destroying everything in her path!  Wow, you're just basically asking to be disqualified from the contest, aren't you?  Somehow, Roxy ends up jumping out of the bulldozer, and the machine goes out of control.



Jerrica tries to pull Howard Sands out of the pool, but she slips and falls directly into the path of the bulldozer that Roxy started up.  Luckily, just before Jerrica gets crushed to death, Rio arrives just in the nick of time and saves her life.  Okay, so in this case, I like Rio.  I'm sure there will be other moments where I will not like him as much, but for now, he's okay.

Anyway, Aja manages to stop the bulldozer before it causes any more damage and the Misfits run away in a cowardly manner because they really don't want to face the fact that they nearly murdered Jerrica! 



Or maybe the bigger coward is Howard Sands.  While it's nice that he has granted Jerrica and the others permission to move into the mansion, I personally think that he's out of his mind for not punishing the Misfits more.  I mean, one of them tried to drown him, and another one ruined his front yard!  Why is he even entertaining them?  Howard, grow some balls already and just GIVE Jem and the Holograms the house!  Sheesh, man!



Whatever the case, the new house is HUGE.  There's a bedroom for each of the girls (a 16 bedroom house?!?  WOWZERS!)



There's a fully functional kitchen which housekeeper Mrs. Bailey thinks is just super.
And there's even a pool where the girls can jump in fully clothed!

It also happens to be the perfect place for Jem and the Holograms to host their first photo shoot!  How exciting!



Ashley, at first, is excited about the prospect of the new house because now it means that she doesn't have to earn the money for the Honor Jar.  But Lela's like, no way, lady.  She doesn't care that Ashley nearly turned into barbecued baby back ribs to save the jar...she's still on the hook for thirty bucks.  To which I say, Lela, get off your power trip and give Ashley a break.  But since this is only part two of a supposed five parter, we can't have conflict resolution wrap up this early.

And since I've brought up Ashley, it's time for this week's Jem Trivia.  Did you know that the actress that played Ashley also did the voices for Aja and Kimber?  How outrageous, right?  Sadly, the actress that voiced them all - Cathianne Blore - passed away in 2002.



Luckily (or unluckily), Ashley runs into the Misfits skulking around, and Ashley makes a deal with them.  If they give her thirty bucks, she will let them onto the property.  Ashley, you are aware that these are the same women that nearly killed your foster mother, right?  Oh, well...I guess Ashley must have been scrubbing the soot off of that Honor Jar while all the fuss was going on because Stormer gives Ashley the money and Ashley lets them in.  Wow, this should be fun.



Even more fun is the fact that Eric has called Zipper once more to take care of Jem and the Holograms, and Zipper plans to do this by activating a time bomb inside of the mansion.  Geez, what is this guy?  A serial house destroyer?

Okay, so we have some time before the bomb is discovered.  Why not be entertained with a Jem and the Holograms/Misfits medley?



I gotta say though...not a fan of the medleys.  When you have a sweet song like Click meshing with the not-so-sweet Clash, it doesn't gel well.  It'd be like Celine Dion doing a duet with Rob Zombie.

(Actually, I kind of want to see that.)

As the photo shoot gets underway, Eric Raymond drops by to see how Zipper progressed with the bomb planting not realizing that the Misfits have snuck onto the property.  As Eric warns them to get away...



KABOOM!!!



Just like that, a whole room in the mansion turns into rubble, and Jem and Kimber narrowly avoid getting turned into Hologram pancakes!  For what it's worth, the bomb just destroyed one part of the house, and everyone inside and outside the house is safe from harm.  But, if anything, this should be another reason why Howard Sands should just end the contest and just declare Jem to be the winner by default.  Mind you, it'd make for a very boring show, but still...the stupidity of the people in this episode makes my head ache.



And to top it all off, we get introduced to another new person, the Countess Danielle DuVoisin.  She seems to be incredibly fashionable, rich, and I think I detect a French accent coming out of her lips.  I also detect that Howard Sands seems to have a thing for her, but we'll see what happens.

At any rate, the Countess is introduced to Jem and the Holograms by Howard Sands himself, and she seems to be immediately charmed by their personalities and kindness.  She invites them all to a party that she will be hosting on her yacht.  Wow, she only talked to them for 30 seconds and she's already included them in her social circle!  That may be a record!



On the flipside, Eric introduces the Countess to the Misfits - but hilariously, she turns up her little French nose at them and tells them that they are not invited.  That ought to make Pizzazz all the more bitchy, don't you think?

Predictably, the Misfits approach the Holograms and start to trash talk them, but when Shana and Kimber suggest that they get to work and help them clean up the mess that Zipper's bomb blast created, they once again scurry like the cowards they are.

I BET WE NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN.



The sun sets and out in the middle of the ocean is the Countess' yacht.  And Jem and the Holograms, along with Rio, board the yacht via motorboat.  What a way to make an entrance!



The Countess and Howard immediately welcome Jem and posse to the party, and the Countess quickly introduces them to the next new character, Lindsey Pearce.  Lindsey is meant to be Jem's version of an MTV video jockey - in fact, she kind of looks like a cross between Nina Blackwood and Martha Quinn.  And while Lindsey is thrilled to meet Jem, she deduces that the band would be more well known if they had a music video to show since this is the 1980s and MTV still played music videos back then.



It is to their great fortune that music video director Anthony Julien just happens to be a guest at the party as well.  And it seems as though Anthony has developed a huge crush on Shana.  Or, he could just simply be distracted by the fact that two birds are trying to hatch out of Shana's ears.  Either way, Anthony's attraction to Shana gets the ball rolling, and I half expect Anthony to be the one who agrees to film Jem's first rock video.



Jem and Rio take off away from the party where Rio is tiptoeing around the obvious.  He's starting to develop feelings for Jem and he is conflicted because he is in love with Jerrica, and he feels that he is cheating on Jerrica with Jem not realizing that Jem and Jerrica are the same person.  And right at the moment where Jerrica realizes that she probably needs to be honest with him and tell him who she is and how some computer that is dressed like Olivia Newton-John circa 1981 is making her this huge star, they get pelted with water.



Yep...the Misfits have crashed this party.  And they happen to be singing a very, very appropriate song for April Fools' Day.



It also makes me realize that the Misfits in general seem to have edgier, danceable, powerful songs...at least in comparison with Jem and the Holograms.  I'm sure it wasn't Christy Marx's intention to make the Misfits better than the Holograms, but I have to agree with the theme song.  They are the Misfits, and right now, their songs ARE better.



It's too bad their attitudes don't match their songs.  They cause all sorts of trouble aboard the yacht, and Pizzazz even manages to get into the control room and finds a way to steer the yacht straight into the path of a massive oil tanker or some sort of giant ship that would likely turn the Countess' yacht into a bunch of toothpicks.



And we see yet another TO BE CONTINUED graphic pop up as Rio and Jem stare at their imminent deaths right in front of them - or maybe not, as we still have 63 more episodes to review.

And some of the highlights next week include Ashley getting fed up with being a Starlight girl, Kimber getting fed up with being Jem's second banana, and Eric getting fed up that Zipper is an incompetent psychopath!

Tuesday, March 29, 2016

March 29, 1979

Welcome to the final Tuesday Timeline for March 2016.  Hard to believe that a quarter of the year is gone just like that! 

Anyway, I had a difficult time trying to come up with a subject for today's blog.  All of the news events that I came up with I either already talked about, or know absolutely nothing about!  I had to use my music trivia knowledge to come up with a topic of discussion, and I think I have succeeded.

Of course, before we get to that, we should have a look at the other events of historical significance that took place on March 29...

845 - Paris is sacked by Viking raiders

1461 - Edward of York defeats Queen Margaret to become King Edward IV of England in the Battle of Towton

1632 - The Treaty of Saint-Germain is signed returning Quebec to French control

1792 - King Gustav III of Sweden succumbs to his injuries thirteen days after being shot in the back at a midnight masquerade ball

1867 - Queen Victoria gives Royal Assent to the British North America Act, which leads to the founding of the Dominion of Canada on July 1

1886 - In his Atlanta backyard, Dr. John Pemberton brews the first batch of the liquid that would come to be known as Coca-Cola

1919 - Actress Eileen Heckart (d. 2001) is born in Columbus, Ohio

1936 - Adolf Hitler receives 99% of the votes in a referendum to ratify Germany's illegal reoccupation of the Rhineland

1941 - The North American Radio Broadcasting Agreement goes into effect

1945 - The last day of V-1 flying bomb attacks on England in the final stages of World War II

1951 - Julius and Ethel Rosenberg are convicted of conspiracy to commit espionage

1957 - The New York, Ontario and Western Railway makes its final run

1961 - Residents of Washington D.C. are allowed to vote in presidential elections as a result of the ratification of the twenty-third amendment to the United States Constitution

1971 - A jury recommends the death penalty for Charles Manson and three of his followers

1974 - NASA's Mariner 10 becomes the first space probe to pass Mercury

1985 - Jeanne Deckers - otherwise known as The Singing Nun - dies at the age of 51

1993 - Catherine Callbeck becomes the first woman to be elected Premier of a Canadian province (in this case, it was Prince Edward Island)

1999 - For the first time in its history, the Dow Jones closes above 10,000

2004 - A busy day for NATO as Bulgaria, Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, Romania, Slovakia, and Slovenia join as full members

2005 - Lawyer and O.J. Simpson trial figure Johnnie Cochran dies at 67

2010 - Forty people are killed when two suicide bombers blow themselves up at the Moscow Metro System

2014 - The first same-sex marriages are performed in Wales and England

And celebrating a birthday today are the following famous faces; Julie Goodyear, Scott Wilson, Vangelis, Chad Allan, Eric Idle, Terry Jacks, Paul Herman, Bruce Weber, Bobby Kimball, Bud Cort, Brendan Gleeson, Kurt Thomas, Christopher Lambert, Marc Silvestri, Perry Farrell, Amy Sedaris, Michael Winterbottom, Elle Macpherson, Ming Tsai, Jill Goodacre, John Popper, Lucy Lawless, Ruth England, Lara Logan, Jennifer Capriati, Megan Hilty, and Lucas Elliot Eberl.

Okay, so what date will be looking at this week?



Well, how about March 29, 1979?

Yeah, that was the day that a particular band from merry old England released what is to be considered one of their more successful albums.

Have you ever heard of Supertramp?  Well, to some people now, it would be used as a derogatory insult for someone who is extremely promiscuous, but back in the 1970s, it was the name of the band that was comprised of Rick Davies, John Helliwell, Roger Hodgson, Bob Siebenberg, and Dougie Thompson.  And during their heyday, the group released seven studio albums together before Hodgson left the band in 1982.  Of course, Supertramp never really went away, and various incarnations of the band have been performing and recording music over the last 45 years or so.



But if one were to pinpoint the cream of the crop of Supertramp, one might suggest that their 1979 album "Breakfast in America" certainly qualifies.  Released thirty-seven years ago today, the album went on to sell over six million copies in the United States alone.  It charted well in the UK, Canada, Australia, and especially France where it became the biggest selling English language album in that country alone!

And here in North America, four of the album's singles charted on the Billboard charts, with two of the songs being Top 10 hits.

So, let's have a listen to these four songs, shall we?



THE LOGICAL SONG
Released:  April 1979
Peak Position on the Billboard Charts:  #6

It makes...pardon the pun...logical sense to feature this song first, as it was not only the first release from the album, but the album's highest charting single.  And I have to admit, it's a fantastic single.  Mind you, I heard this song about ten thousand times at my workplace, but still, I really like it. 

But what you might not know about this song is that it's autobiographical, written from the perspective of Roger Hodgson, who based the lyrics around his 10-year stint in boarding school.

Certainly the song flowed well, with every lyric ending in -ible, -able, ical, etc...but I think the saxophone made the song as well.  Saxophone music was really big circa 1979, and while disco was still charting high on the pop charts, this song gave a fighting chance.  I wish it had charted higher though.



BREAKFAST IN AMERICA
Released:  June 1979
Peak Position on the Billboard Charts:  #62

First things first, ouch!  I can't recall any band being excited about their song peaking at #62 on the charts.  And I can't understand why this was the case because this song is actually quite nice.  At least in the UK, it became a Top 10 hit.  But then again, I suppose some people might call this song (and this album in general) a parody of American life, so maybe that might have something to do with it.  Regardless, this song is unique because it is alleged that this song was penned by Hodgson before Supertramp was even founded.  And this single about a teen who wanted to experience what life was like in America took a record ten years before it was released!  That's quite a long time.



GOODBYE STRANGER
Released:  June 1979
Peak Position on the Billboard Charts: #15

This song was once featured on an episode of WKRP in Cincinnati (back when television shows could play snippits of songs on the air), and it was featured prominently on an episode of The Office, only the lyrics were changed to Goodbye Toby.

Now here's the kicker.  For the longest time, I remember hearing this song played a lot, and I remember loving it a lot...but it wasn't until very recently that I realized it was a Supertramp song.  For the longest time, I had thought other groups had sang it.  I think one time, I thought it was the Bee Gees, and the next minute, I was thinking it was Andy Gibb, and so on and so forth.  It's sort of embarrassing when you stop and think about it.  But, then again, I doubt many people my age even knew who Supertramp was...



TAKE THE LONG WAY HOME
Released:  October 1979
Peak Position on the Billboard Charts:  #10

And how appropriate that the last song written for the album would be the last song to chart on Billboard, just making the Top 10.  And according to Roger Hodgson who wrote the song, this single has sort of a double entendre to it.  On one hand, it could symbolize the dread of coming home to a nagging wife or whiny children, and how the subject wants to purposely take the long way home to avoid the drama.  Or, it could mean something deeper, such as finding a place where we belong, and looking into your heart to find out what home is.  I think that's why I can relate to this song a lot.

So, that's what was released on this day in history.  What's your favourite Supertramp song?


Friday, March 25, 2016

Jem Reviewed: Episode 1 - The Beginning

Welcome to Jem: Reviewed!  Starting today, I'll be using this space every Friday to recap this cartoon series.  With 65 episodes in all, this will be a project that won't be completed until June 2017.  But, I figure that it will be a good project to take on.  And since I had fun doing the New Archies Reviewed a few months ago, I thought I'd challenge myself by doing a series which lasted longer, and which was aimed at a very specific target audience that admittedly I didn't see myself as being a part of.

What can you expect in these recaps?  Well, I have pictures, I found some videos, and I'll be inserting some snark with some trivia about each show. 



So, how did "Jem" begin?  Let's tune into Episode 1:  The Beginning to find out more.

A word of caution though.  The first five episodes of this series were broadcast as fifteen seven-minute shorts between October and December 1985.  So, if the editing of the episodes seems a bit off, that's the reason.

We begin at a premiere event or concert or some huge awards show.  I'm not sure what the occasion is, but what I can tell you is that this is where we first meet the band that call themselves Jem and the Holograms.  The first one we meet is blue-haired Aja.  Then the purple-haired Shana.  And scarlet-haired Kimber is next to be introduced.  These would be our Holograms.



Finally, we meet the star of the band, as well as the star of the show.  This pink-haired goddess is the mysterious Jem who at this point in the show has dominated the music scene and has become a huge star.  But how did this happen?



Well, let's allow Jem to reflect on that with a flashback...to a funeral?  Wow...I didn't think that funerals were even allowed to be shown on a cartoon!  If that were the case, the Bugs Bunny and Tweety show would be a mortuary. 



Ah, but this was back in the days in which Jem was solely known as Jerrica Benton.  The funeral is for Jerrica's father, Emmett Benton, who owned the record company Starlight Music.  At the funeral are Kimber - Jerrica's sister and Emmett's younger daughter - and Aja and Shana.  Jerrica's love interest, Rio is also there.  At the funeral, Jerrica and Rio are introduced to Eric Raymond, who has been named CEO of Starlight Music following Emmett's death, and while Eric offers to be there for Jerrica in her time of grief, Rio is very suspicious of Eric's motives.  For good reason too, as you'll see later on.



But don't think Jerrica got the shaft.  She inherited Starlight House, the home where she and Kimber grew up.  It is currently a house for foster girls, and Aja and Shana were the first of those girls.  At the moment, there are a dozen girls who stay there, but we won't meet all of them just yet.

But Starlight House is in bad shape.  The appliances are old and wearing out, the plumbing is deteriorating, and the electricity only works half the time.  Things have gotten so bad that even the foster girls can't find a way to keep it up.  



Jerrica is so desperate to get help that she decides to pay Eric a visit at Starlight Music in hopes that he will find it in his heart to open up his bank account to float Jerrica some money to fix up the place.

But it seems as though Eric has other plans, and rather than use the money to help Jerrica out, he has opted to use it to promote a hot new girl group who call themselves the Misfits!

And the Misfits apparently drive into Eric's office (which used to be Emmett's office) on gigantic guitar shaped mopeds...which begs the question...how did they get those things up to Eric's office on the top floor?  It's not like that sky elevator was big enough to hold them, and you can't drive a moped up a hundred flights of stairs!

Whatever the case, you have the Misfits...lead singer Pizzazz, bass player Roxy, and Stormer, the one that plays that keyboard/guitar combo known as a keytar.  Very 80s!



Oh, and you might notice that there's text on the bottom left hand corner of the screen...well, remember when MTV used to play videos and they'd have the song and artist info displayed at the beginning and end of each video?  Well, that's our cue that a song is coming!  Let's watch!



Ah, "Outta My Way".  What a great introductory song for the Misfits.  Apparently, the whole "we're the best, get lost if you hate us" theme is a common one in the Misfits discography.  Let's see if this holds true as the show progresses!



Anyway, the Misfits are Eric's pride and joy...and also Eric's meal ticket.  You see, he's staging a Battle of the Bands contest, and he plans to rig it so the Misfits win just so he can get the bragging rights and remain relevant.  And unfortunately, the Misfits seem to be nothing more than a token to make his dreams come true and are blinded by his promises that they will become famous.  It's actually kind of sad when you think about it.

Regardless, Jerrica calls the Misfits trash, and tells Eric that she will stop him.  Good plan.  How are you going to do that exactly?



Well, perhaps a mysterious package that came in the mail for Jerrica will help.  It turns out to be a pair of ruby red star shape earrings that Jerrica absolutely loves, but she is unsure of who would send them.  Aja believes that it was Rio, but before they can speculate further, a gust of wind blows out the candle and a mysterious figure appears in Jerrica's bedroom.



Apparently, she has come for Jerrica.



And, this is Jerrica's shocked face.  Come on, Jerrica.  Even an America's Next Top Model contestant can do a surprised look better.

Anyway, this purple haired robot woman or something tells the girls to meet her at the Starlight Drive-In Movie Theatre - a building that has been closed for years.  The woman instructs Aja to drive through the wall - because driving through a wall and smashing up your van seems totally logical!

Especially when you consider that the wall isn't actually a wall, but a secret entrance to a huge computerized room!  To be honest, that is kind of cool.



And once Jerrica and the girls lay their eyes on the super huge outdated computer in the middle of the room, they realize that they have been given a final gift from their late father.  The woman is named Synergy, (who looks like Jane Fonda in her workout tapes, but just go with it) and she has the power to summon any holographic image that the owner of the Jemstar earrings desires, demonstrating it by turning all the girls into holograms of each other!  And since Jerrica has the earrings, I suppose that makes her the holder of all the power.  



Synergy also has gifts for the rest of the girls as well.  Shana remarks about how there are so many clothes and how real they are.  Well, Shana, I'd hope that they were real, otherwise you'd get charged for indecent exposure!  Kimber is drooling over the musical instruments that are available, remarking that they have enough for a dozen rock groups.  I think she also utters her catchphrase of "Outrageous!" for the first time as well.  Remind me to do a tally for the whole show, okay?  



And Aja is blown away by the gorgeous looking convertible that mysteriously has the Jem logo on the front of the car even though technically "Jem" doesn't exist yet.  I bet THAT'S where she got the name!

And now for our first piece of "Jem" TRIVIA!  Believe it or not, "Jem" was NOT the first choice for Jem's name.  Originally, the creators of the doll line wanted to name the character "M".  Unfortunately, when they tried to trademark the name, they were told that they could not trademark a letter of the alphabet...so the name "Jem" was chosen instead.

Anyway, at the Battle of the Bands, the band known as the Limp Lizards just finish performing, and well...this is what their song lyrics are...

My life is...a garbage heap!
My life's filled...with choking cats!
Since you left, my world's like
Broken glass
Broken glass!



Wow...that's...horrible!  If Eric's plan to rig the contest in favour of the Misfits by purposely getting horrible bands to sign up, mission accomplished!  Or, is it?



Wow, Jem and the Holograms just came out of nowhere didn't she?  That's right, this truly is "Only The Beginning"!  Seems like Jerrica has used the power of Synergy to create an alter ego long before that Hannah Montana woman was even born!  Sure, I do think their first song could have been better, but this is episode one.  I'm sure they'll have more hits!



As to be expected, Eric is pretty steamed, and he demands to know what she is thinking.  At this point, Jem uses the earrings to change back into Jerrica (out of sight of everyone else) and inform Eric that she doesn't like rigged contests.  This prompts Eric to come out with a challenge.  There will be another battle of the bands - this time between his band The Misfits, and Jem and the Holograms.  The winner will get full control of Starlight Music.



And just to add to the deal, a movie producer named Howard Sands just happens to be in the audience at the event and offers up even more prizes.  He will give the winning band a movie deal, as well as the keys to one of his mansions.  I'd say that's well worth the battle, don't you?

Well, it's here where we discover that the Misfits are just as morally ethical as Eric Raymond.  They steal a whole bunch of Jem's equipment and force Jerrica and the girls into a full on car chase.



And it's during this chase that we see that the Misfits aren't really any better than their manager, as Roxy starts throwing their equipment at the Holograms, trying to ram them off the road.  Keep in mind that this is merely the first time the Misfits get away with attempted murder.  There are many other instances, believe me.



Whatever the case, Aja quickly loses control of the car and they nearly drive over a mountain cliff! 



Luckily, Jerrica remembers that Synergy can project millions of holograms, and she uses her earring to call up a hologram of Jem so that she can flag down someone to help them.  Unfortunately, the Jem hologram flags down Rio, which officially kicks off the Rio/Jerrica/Jem love triangle that doesn't exist because Rio is in love with the same person and Jerrica is too much of a coward to let him know, or maybe she secretly likes all the attention, or what have you.  The point is that this is one flaw in Jerrica's personality that I will likely be bringing up.  A lot.  Ad nauseum.



Naturally, the idea of a hot new girl group almost falling off a cliff attracts the attention of the media, which infuriates Eric and the Misfits.  Pizzazz, in particular, is really steamed because she wants to win at any cost.  I wonder if this means it's time for another song...



And because Pizzazz thinks that "Winning Is Everything", Eric decides that he will help them win...by the most evil means necessary.



You see this guy with the sunglasses sitting in the really weird looking chair?  His name is Zipper, and you'll be seeing him quite a lot in the first few episodes.  Interestingly enough, Zipper and Eric are both voiced by veteran voice actor Charlie Adler, so what you're witnessing is one man having a conversation with himself!  Oh, and Adler also voiced Buster Bunny on "Tiny Toon Adventures", if Zipper's voice sounds familiar.  Anyway, Eric plans to use Zipper to cause havoc at Starlight House.  Scare them out of the competition, so to speak. 



Meanwhile, at Starlight House, we get to meet a few of the girls, but the two we'll be focusing on this episode are Ashley and Lela.  Lela is considered the oldest of the current Starlight Girls, which makes her in charge of the "Honor Jar".  The Honor Jar is where all the girls do chores to earn money so that they can buy a new refrigerator for the house, which I have to admit is an awesome, unselfish idea.  But Ashley - who is the newest addition to the Starlight Girls at the time -  seems to think it's a waste of time.

At least, that is until she tries to steal the money from the jar and is caught by Jerrica.  Jerrica lets Lela and the girls decide Ashley's punishment, and Lela thinks it's simple.  Since they lack thirty bucks to buy the fridge, Ashley will have to find a way to get thirty dollars.  Unfortunately, in 1985, thirty dollars may just as well be three hundred dollars, and at 13, Ashley's too young to deep fry Chicken McNuggets.



On top of all that, Rio has tried and failed to fix the electrical panels of the house, and Jerrica and the girls will have to spend the night powerless.  Gee, I wonder if this plot point will have anything to do with how this episode concludes?

Well, considering that there's no lights on, Zipper is free to break into the house to steal a few things.  Ah, plot contrivance.  You gotta love it.



Zipper, however, isn't the quietest burglar, and his noisiness causes Jerrica, Aja, Shana, and Kimber to wake up and investigate.  Look at the old style kerosene lantern that Kimber is holding!  That's old, even for 1985 standards! 



Once Zipper spots the girls, he makes a break for it, shoving Kimber out of the way which causes the old school lantern to smash on the ground, igniting the whole room with flames! 



And as the house burns down around them, we get the first of what are sure to be many "TO BE CONTINUED" text graphics appearing.

What do you think will happen?  Will everyone escape?  Will Zipper be charged with arson?  Will Ashley be exempt from her thirty dollar punishment because the Honor Jar will be a pile of ashes?

Stay tuned next week for Episode 2:  Disaster.  Gee, what a happy title...