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Thursday, December 15, 2016

Scrooged: Christmas Scalpers Suck!

We're coming up on the home stretch for the POP CULTURE ADDICT'S ADVENT CALENDAR, and honestly with me not having a whole lot of comfort and joy regarding the holidays this year, I'm sort of relieved that there's only a few days left of it.



Welcome to Day #15 - the Scrooged edition.  And believe me, I have definitely got a holiday rant for all of you!

And, it sort of ties in to yesterday's post about the Sears Wish Book.  And no, the rant is not about how much the Sears Wish Book sucks now because I already said this yesterday.



No, it's actually sort of linked to the part about how one of the wishes that I had from that Wish Book was the Nintendo game StarTropics.  I loved that game so much when I was a kid.  I played it a lot.  I remember battling that gigantic ghost.  I remember having to dip the letter in the water to try and find my way out of a maze.  I even remember getting swallowed by a whale!  It was definitely a challenging game for a ten-year-old boy, but I loved every moment of it.  When my Nintendo got fried in a lightning storm, I remember being very sad, and I wondered if I'd ever get the chance to play StarTropics ever again.

Well, this year, Nintendo came up with a way to play that game - plus 29 other NES classics in one device that you can plug into your television screen via HDMI cable.



Behold the Classic Mini NES!  Thirty of your favourite games in one tiny Nintendo.  You can play every game from Super Mario Brothers and the Legend of Zelda to Final Fantasy and Bubble Bobble!  I don't think Nintendo has ever done anything this cool in years.  And considering that of the thirty games on the machine that I've played 28 of them (I've never played Punch-Out or Double Dragon), this is a great way to relive part of my childhood.

Unfortunately, it seems as though everyone else wants to relive that dream too because I cannot find one of these babies anywhere in any store!  As soon as they come in, they are immediately bought up.  And, you know, that part I don't have a problem with.  Nintendo made a select number of them not knowing just how popular they would be, and they were caught off guard by the demand.  At least I'm trying to give them the benefit of the doubt.

No, what I have a problem with is when I log onto eBay and see this.




Now, in the United States, the retail value of this machine is somewhere in the price range of $60-70 - in Canada, add about another $20 to the price.  It's not a bad price when you consider what it is supposed to be.  But this person (whose screenname and location I've blotted out for privacy reasons) feels justified to charge twice or three times the price to make a profit. 

And THAT I have a problem with - especially given the time of year.

I mean, this is Christmas.  This is the time in which boys and girls make their Christmas lists for Santa and hope that Santa can bring them everything that they wanted for Christmas.  And yet holiday scalpers are buying up all the inventory so that they can double the prices and make people spend more just to make a huge profit.  I understand how capitalism works, but this seems so wrong to do.

But hey, at least the person above is selling actual mini NES consoles.  Take a look at the next ad.  Can you spot something a little fishy about it?



Well, did you notice the part about how it said PACKAGING ONLY?  And yet someone will legitimately think that they are getting a bargain on one of the hottest toys around.  Sadly they would be paying a fortune on an empty box.  I mean, this time of year, one has to be very careful not to get taken in.  Although this one clearly states PACKAGING ONLY in the title, not everyone will read the fine print.  And seriously, why would someone sell just the package?  To me that's even worse than buying up the stock and selling it at inflated prices.

And it's not just video game consoles either.  Toys are marked up at insanely high prices at some online retailers.  One of the biggest fads this year is a toy known as a Hatchimal.  It's essentially a cross between a Furby and an Easter Egg.  You buy an unhatched egg and you wait for it to come out of the egg.  Once it hatches, you take care of it.  You know those Tamagotchis that were really huge in the late 1990s and early 2000s?  It's reminiscent of that.  Personally, I wouldn't pay the $79.99 price tag or whatever amount they normally sell for here because I have no need for one.  Even if I got one as a kid, I'd be interested in it for all of four days before it started gathering dustbunnies in the corner of my toy box.  But millions of children in the world want one from Santa this year.

Too bad they're hard to find and people on eBay feel justified to charge THIS MUCH for one.



I mean, this is getting out of hand.  I mean, it's bad enough people scalp concert tickets and sell them for big bucks (which I ranted about last summer regarding the final tour of The Tragically Hip).  But scalping toys?  At Christmas?  To me that's almost like the equivalent of the Grinch stealing Christmas from the Whos in Whoville and promising to sell it back to them if they sign over their homes, cars, and first born children.  It's not very Christmas like, and I think people who are doing this should be very ashamed of themselves.

And to be honest with you, this is where retailers need to step in and control the issue by offering limits on how many people can purchase at one time.  Unless you're Octomom, there is no need for one person to purchase fourteen Hatchimals.  I know there are ways to get around store limits, but really we all have a responsibility to stop scalping around the holidays.  Christmas is already materialistic enough without people capitalizing off of it.

As for my dream to own a Classic Mini NES...well, my birthday is in five months.  Maybe I'll get one then.

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Sears Wish Book Memories



It's time to talk about Christmas wishes in this edition of the POP CULTURE ADDICT'S ADVENT CALENDAR - Day #14 in a series of 25!

And when I was a kid, there really was just one place in the world where I believed all wishes were born.  And I am not talking about the stars in the sky, the four leaf clovers in the fields, or even Santa's Workshop.  I'm talking about a magical book.  A book that would come out in the fall that had lots of potential wishes inside of it for boys and girls to dream about.

A book that has really become quite pathetic in recent years.



I mean, look at the 2016 Sears Wish Book!  This isn't a Wish Book!  It's a Dream Crusher Book!  This is NOT the book that I grew up with.  This is NOT the book that I anxiously waited for all year to see what the hottest toys were.  This IS however a brilliant book to use for the fireplace to keep all of us warm.  

I suppose that it is a sign of the times though.  Sears has had a tough few years lately as far as sales are concerned.  I suppose the idea of a Wish Book even existing is a good thing.  And, considering the focus on online shopping, it's a miracle that a book is even being published!



But still...how many of you have fond memories of the Wish Book?  I know I certainly do.

Back in the days in which I was a kid - and back in the days in which the Wish Book was over a thousand pages - my siblings and I would study that book as if it was some sort of ancient scroll that would grant us magical powers.  Each one of us would have a different coloured marker (mine was almost always red), and we'd put our names next to everything that we wanted for Christmas that year. 

Of course, mind you, my family never had big bucks to spend for Christmas, and if we tallied up all the things we asked for in the catalogue, it'd be an easy thirty thousand dollars!  Rather, it was a guide for my parents to look through it, see what all of us wanted, and select one or two things from the book.  Or, they'd take the list of things and see if they could get them at another store cheaper.  Either way, the Sears Wish Book sort of worked the same as a letter from Santa in a way - and somehow my parents found a way to grant as many of the wishes that we hoped would happen that Christmas.

After all - they have Santa's phone number.  They made it happen.

In all seriousness though, looking through that Wish Book was a really fun activity.  And, I definitely remember putting a lot of red signatures in the toy section of the book!  From what I remember, my initials always went in the board game section, the video game section, and the Gifts Under $25 section.

(What can I say?  Some of those gifts were actually quite kitschy and neat!)



I don't know why I loved board games so much - especially since most of the time I only had myself to play them.  I guess it helped that I had a really good imagination and I could find ways to enjoy them solo.  I could think of about a hundred thousand ways to make "Don't Break The Ice" much more enjoyable - which may or may not have involved a drinking game or two.



And putting my initials next to video games in the book was always a crapshoot of sorts.  Although I had a Nintendo by the time I was nine years old, I really didn't expect my parents to buy me expensive video games (and believe me, in 1991, video games were REALLY costly).  But when the video game StarTropics came out, and I saw the commercial for it, I practically begged to get that game for Christmas.  I thought it looked like an awesome game that I really wanted to play.  It was like Legend of Zelda, but in a tropical island setting.  So, when I saw it in the Wish Book that year, I put my initials beside it not really expecting it, but hoping that my wish would come true and that I would be playing that game during the holidays that year.



So when I unwrapped StarTropics underneath the tree that year, it made a ten-year-old me believe that sometimes the Wish Book really did grant wishes.

Man...StarTropics was such a great game.  I would love to have the chance to play it again - and as it so happens, there's a way that I can...but this leads to tomorrow's entry - and why I feel Scrooged because of it.  Stay tuned for more...

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

December 13, 1979



Today's Tuesday Timeline coincides with Day #13 of the POP CULTURE ADDICT'S ADVENT CALENDAR - and all I have to say about today's entry is that it might leave you very cold.  But, hey...at least I have managed to make it holiday themed!

Of course, before I go ahead with today's selected topic, as always I will be taking a look at some of the other topics that weren't selected.

Let's see what happened in the history books this thirteenth day of December, shall we?

1294 - Saint Celestine V resigns the papacy after serving just five months

1577 - Sir Francis Drake departs Plymouth, England to embark on a voyage around the world

1758 - 360 people lose their lives when British transport ship Duke William sinks in the North Atlantic

1769 - Dartmouth College is founded

1818 - Mary Todd Lincoln (d. 1882) is born in Lexington, Kentucky

1871 - Canadian artist Emily Carr (d. 1945) is born in Victoria, British Columbia

1928 - George Gershwin's "An American in Paris" is first performed

1930 - Actor Robert Prosky (d. 2008) is born in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

1938 - The Neuengamme concentration camp opens in Hamburg, Germany - one of the many reminders of the Holocaust

1941 - Hungary and Romania declare war on the United States during World War II

1961 - American artist Grandma Moses passes away at the age of 101

1962 - NASA launches Relay 1

1972 - Eugene Cernan and Harrison Schmitt begin the third "Moonwalk" of Apollo 17 - they are the last men to walk upon the surface of the moon as of 2016

1977 - The entire University of Evansville basketball team die in a plane crash near Evansville Regional Airport

1981 - Martial law is declared in Poland by General Wojciech Jaruzelski - largely due to the actions by "Solidarity"

1982 - A large and powerful earthquake strikes Yemen, killing over 2,800 people

2003 - Saddam Hussein is captured by American forces near his home in Tikrit, Iraq

2011 - A murder-suicide takes place at a Christmas market in Belgium, leaving six dead

2013 - A murder-suicide takes place at a high school in Centennial, Colorado where a female student is shot and the gunman takes his own life

And for celebrity birthdays we have Dick Van Dyke, Christopher Plummer, Tom Shaw, John Davidson, Ted Nugent, Robert Lindsay, Wendie Malick, Jim Davidson, John Anderson, Steve Forbert, Dale Berra, Steve Buscemi, Morris Day, Eric Marienthal, Harry Gregson-Williams, Don Roff, Mike Tirico, Jamie Foxx, NeNe Leakes, Bates Battaglia, Tom DeLonge, Luke Steele, Amy Lee, Laurence Leboeuf, Rickie Fowler, and Taylor Swift turning one year older!  Happy birthday to you all!

Okay, so what date will we be going back in time to this week?  Well, for some reason, I feel like going back in time to a year before I was born.

I also want to make this entry holiday themed.



Oh, look.  We've arrived at our destination.  December 13, 1979.

Now, I would say that when it comes to Christmas, you can't truly celebrate Christmas without watching at least one Rankin-Bass special.  There's the most common ones of "Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer" or "Frosty the Snowman".  And there are those that are lesser known, such as "Cricket on the Hearth" or "The Year Without a Santa Claus". 

Well, today's subject is a Rankin-Bass special that up until a decade ago I had no idea even existed!  And if it wasn't for the fact that I subscribe to a satellite television station that plays non-stop Christmas entertainment from December 1-25, I never would have even known about it.  I guess it just wasn't as popular as Rudolph or Frosty.  And given how this special ends, I guess I can understand why.  It's one of the rare holiday specials in which there really is no happy ending.  And it's also one of those holiday specials that starts at Christmas and lasts through Groundhog Day and the first day of Spring!



I'm talking about the 1979 Rankin-Bass special "Jack Frost".  Not to be confused with the 1998 film "Jack Frost" starring Michael Keaton as a dead musician reincarnated as a snowman.  Yeah, this television special isn't nearly as silly.

Now, everybody knows about the character known as Jack Frost.  Most people don't like him very much as every December he hangs around turning everything he touches into a frozen popsicle and making the air feel like you're wandering around inside of a gigantic refrigerator.  But he is a very essential part of the holiday season - at least in the Northern Hemisphere anyway, and we can count on him to give us mostly white Christmases. 

Well, except for Christmas 2015 where he was on an obvious vacation, that is.

In the case of "Jack Frost", Jack is voiced by Robert Morse, and he is depicted as a sprite that can live forever.  The story is narrated by the groundhog "Pardon-Me Pete" (Buddy Hackett), who has arranged a deal with Jack Frost to extend winter for six more weeks so that he can have more time to sleep.  You see that, people?  It really IS the groundhog's fault when winter refuses to leave!

Well, things go a little bit pear-shaped right at the beginning when Jack rescues a human girl by the name of Elisa (Debra Clinger), and Elisa makes quite an impact on Mr. Frost.  She has penetrated his ice cold heart, and he has fallen head over icicle in love with her.  In fact, his feelings towards her are so strong that he asks Father Winter (Paul Frees) to turn him into a human so that he can be with her.  And he agrees to grant Jack's wish.  But unlike the story of Pinocchio where all he had to do was wish upon a star, becoming a human in Jack Frost's world is a lot more difficult, and he'll have to work for it by earning a house, a horse, a bag of gold, and to make Elisa his wife by the first day of Spring.  Well, at least you can say that Father Winter is going to make him prove to him that he does deserve it.  Should Jack Frost fail to have any of these requirements by the time Spring comes, he will revert back to a sprite forever.

So Jack Frost becomes Jack Snip, and opens up a tailor shop in the town of January Junction alongside his friends Snip (Don Messick) and Holly (Dina Lynn) - two other sprites who have become human to aid Jack in his quest.  And while Elisa is smitten with Jack, she also has feelings for Sir Ravenal Rightfellow, an honourable knight clad in golden armor.

Of course, no Christmas special would be complete without an antagonist, and ours comes in the form of an evil king named Kubla Kraus.  With his army of henchmen, he has taken all of the gold from January Junction for himself, and he has also found a way to kidnap Jack's beloved Elisa.  Whatever will Jack do?

Well, I won't spoil it for those who have not seen this show...but needless to say, the ending is quite heartbreaking.  Not as heartbreaking as Nestor The Long-Eared Christmas Donkey, but it's a rather down ending.  By the end of it all, you really feel for Jack Frost, and if it wasn't for the fact that you would likely die of hypothermia if you tried, you really feel like you want to give him a big hug at the end of it all.  It's a very bittersweet ending.

But, given that it's the only Christmas reference I could find for December 13 - I guess it will have to do.

Monday, December 12, 2016

The Best Christmas Project Ever - En Français...



Welcome to the 12th Day of the POP CULTURE ADDICT'S ADVENT CALENDAR!  And boy, have I got a story to tell all of you today!  It's related to the themes that I have in place for Mondays in December which is all about holiday celebrations and school.

This time around, we are going back in time to the year 1998 - and to be honest with you, it's one of the few pleasant memories that I have of high school.  Funny thing is, it's a memory in which I was forbidden to speak any English!

Okay, so I will set up the story.  In September 1998, I had started the twelfth grade, and I was not really in a great mood that year.  My eleventh grade year was a complete emotional trainwreck from beginning to end, and I really didn't expect grade twelve to be any better.  After all, I was forced to take general level mathematics after nearly flunking Grade 11 Advanced Math - and come to think of it, all of my grades really tanked my eleventh grade year because of the stress that I was under. 

The fact that many of my classmates didn't care about me was also a factor behind my mood - but of course, I couldn't really stand them either, so the feeling was mutual on both our parts.

Though, I was trying to look at Grade 12 as being a more positive experience.  As far as my classes went, I genuinely liked most of them.  My Grade 12 math teacher ended up being a saint and he helped me understand math better than the teacher I had the year before.  I also took English and North American Civilizations that semester and had good experiences in both.



However, my favourite class was OAC French.  At that time, Ontario had an optional thirteenth grade offered, and since French was only offered every other year, I decided to take it in Grade 12.  Mind you, the degree of difficulty between Grade 11 French and OAC French was huge, and sometimes I had a hard time keeping up.  But Ms. Keyes did her best to help me keep up with the rest of the class.  After all, I was the only kid in the class that hadn't taken the French Immersion program in elementary school.  I needed all the help I could get!

One of the things that made OAC French so difficult was the fact that in the month of December, we had to do an oral independent study presentation on any subject of our choosing - ENTIRELY IN FRENCH.  And, did I mention that the presentation had to be at least 20 minutes in length?

Now, we were told of this project at the beginning of class, so we had a good three months to plan for it.  But by the middle of November, I still hadn't submitted my idea for the project.  I know that two of the ideas that I wanted to do were already taken by other people in the class, and I really wanted to show my class that I could do a fantastic and creative presentation that would earn me a great grade. 

And time definitely was on my side.  The teacher assigned presentation spots by last name, and as it so happened, my presentation time was on the last day before Christmas vacation.  But I still wanted to have the time to work on it so I could really make it great - and I also sort of wanted to put a Christmas spin on it as well, given that my presentation was just before Christmas vacation.



It wasn't too long after finishing my homework and watching Jeopardy on television that I came up with my answer.

I was going to do my presentation in the form of a game show like Jeopardy where I would divide the class into two teams, and they would answer questions in French about a general subject!  I did up about 20 questions, I included a couple of daily doubles, and I even signed out one of the televisions and VCR's to use for the presentation!

Now, I suppose you're wondering what subject I chose, right?

Well, since I knew that everyone in my class grew up watching Saturday Morning Cartoons - and since I loved learning about animation and how it came to be, I simply did my French project on cartoons!

There were lots of people giving correct and incorrect answers.  There was a clip of the Pink Panther Christmas Special where questions were asked (I chose that one because the Pink Panther never spoke - therefore, I couldn't get dinged for using an English video in French class).  And I even had treats for the winning team.  Mind you, there were in the form of those Haviland chocolate mint patties that were 89 cents a box...but still, I had prizes for the teams!


Perhaps the ultimate prize came from my teacher, who in her comments section on my grade paper said that it was one of the most interesting presentations that she had seen in the class and that it was a brilliant way to ring in the holiday break!  My final grade was an 87%!  I have a feeling that had I known the right French word for panther and not screwed up my verb tense, I would have bumped that up to a 90%.  But that's not the point.  The point is that French presentation was just the boost that I needed to finish off the rest of the school year feeling great about myself.  I mean, granted, it was just one presentation.  But it was just what I needed to stop feeling down.  I guess it was the Christmas miracle that I needed in high school, huh?

Sunday, December 11, 2016

Carol of the Bells

How is it that we are just two weeks until Christmas Day?  On one hand, I'm sure that many are thrilled because that means it's not long before we say goodbye to the year that most of us didn't care for.

But on the other hand, if you haven't finished your holiday shopping and preparations, you've only got two weeks to get everything ready!  Yeah, that's not too much pressure, is it?

Fortunately, all my required shopping was done the day before Black Friday, so that it allows me more time to come up with subjects for the
POP CULTURE ADDICT'S ADVENT CALENDAR.



And for Day #11, we have another musical interlude for you all.

Last week, I chose a song that was more contemporary.  This time around, I'll be choosing a song that is traditional.  It's a song that was composed all the way back in 1914, and over the years has been performed by dozens of orchestras all over the world. 

It's a song that has been covered by a slew of artists in a lot of different styles, and I have my own personal favourite version.  Would you like to watch a clip of it?  Here you go!



Okay, okay...I know.  It's an extremely silly version of the "Carol of the Bells".  I couldn't resist posting it.  It's from "A Claymation Christmas", which is one of my favourite Christmas specials of all time!  It took me forever to find it on DVD, and it's the only way I can watch it now as it doesn't air on television now. 



But "Carol of the Bells" is one of those songs that certainly is played during the holiday season quite a lot.  I think I hear it played at my workplace half a dozen times a day this time of year, but for some reason I don't get as annoyed by this one as I do most Christmas songs.

But did you know the history behind the creation of the "Carol of the Bells"?

Well, as I mentioned before, the song was composed back in 1914.  And the country of origin of this song happens to be the Ukraine.  The composer was a man by the name of Mykola Leontovych and the song was loosely based on a Ukrainian folk chant - "Shchedryk".

"Shchedryk" was a chant that was associated with the arrival of the New Year which at that time was celebrated with the arrival of Spring in the month of April - at least that was the case in pre-Christian Ukraine.  When Christianity was introduced to the Ukraine and the Julian calendar was adopted by the country, the New Year celebrations were moved to January, and the song soon became associated with Christmas.

First performed at Kiev University in December 2016 (one hundred years ago this month!) by students of the school, the song was considered a flash in the pan of sorts.  It was well-received when it was first performed but when the Ukraine became a part of the Soviet Union, it died off in popularity rather quickly.  It wouldn't be until 1921 that people in the Western hemisphere would get a chance to listen to the "Carol of the Bells" when the Ukrainian National Chorus went on tour and performed the song at Carnegie Hall.

English lyrics of the song were later added by lyricist Peter J. Wilhousky in the 1930s - and let's just say that thanks to his lyrics, the song basically just screams Christmas.

I mean, one of the lines is merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas!  Isn't that just merry?

But you know...this is probably one of the few songs that I could probably listen to almost any version (the other one being "O Holy Night") and not want to decapitate a nutcracker...so I guess that's part of the reason why I wanted to do a spotlight on this song.



Ding dong ding dong...

Saturday, December 10, 2016

Christmas Under Wraps



It's Day #10 in the POP CULTURE ADDICT'S ADVENT CALENDAR, and it's time for us to have a look at another holiday special.

I have to admit though...it's getting harder and harder to find original ideas.  After all, I think that I've gone through almost every holiday show that has ever existed.  It's what happens when you've done this blog for five and a half years.

Fortunately, I just watched a movie on television that was released a couple of years ago on the Hallmark channel that I felt was quite appropriate - not just for the fact that it was a Christmas movie, but because it had a great message.

It's also overly schmaltzy and cheesy like a Hallmark card...but with commercials, it's only like two hours.  That's like four episodes of "Full House".

And speaking of which, the star of this movie just happens to be D.J. Tanner herself, Candace Cameron Bure!



The movie is called "Christmas Under Wraps", and it originally aired in December 2014.  And for those of you who subscribe to the Hallmark Channel, it airs tomorrow - Sunday, December 11 - at 12:00pm!  The film also stars Robert Pine, Brian Doyle-Murray, and David O'Donnell.

The tale begins as we're introduced to Dr. Lauren Brunell, a doctor who is in residency in San Francisco, California.  Lauren's goal is to get accepted into the fellowship of a prestigious hospital in Boston.  The same hospital where her father (Pine) began his own medical career.  Lauren has planned her life's work right down to every last detail, and while her own mother (Joyce Cohen) has told her to slow down and live her life instead of micromanaging every detail, that way of life is all that Lauren knows.

Therefore, Lauren is completely unprepared for the double shot of surprises that come her way.  It's bad enough that her engagement to her fiance is called off because he can't stand the fact that she plans everything.  And on top of all that, her application to Boston was rejected, leaving Lauren to have no choice but to try again next year.  Lauren's father promises to try and get her into Boston as soon as possible using the connections he has made, but Lauren's mother encourages her to keep an open mind and to live life in a more unpredictable manner.

Eventually, Lauren is given the opportunity to join the medical staff of a small town hospital in the fictional city of Garland, Alaska.  And right off the bat, Lauren thinks it's not good enough for her.  But considering that it is the only hospital that would take her application so close to Christmas - and given that Lauren's lodging is all paid for - she reluctantly agrees to give it a go until something else opens up.

Garland, Alaska is a typical small town with a lot of charm.  The coffee shop offers service with a smile, the general store seems to have almost anything that you're looking for, and the largest employer in town is a shipping factory owned and run by Frank Holliday (Doyle-Murray) - a man who looks a lot like a certain character you might see every Christmas.  Oh, and Frank's son, Andy (O'Donnell) is Lauren's tour guide throughout the whole movie - though he could potentially become more than that.  I don't want to spoil things too much, just in case you have not yet seen it.

But what I can tell you is that Lauren soon falls under the spell of the charming little town known as Garland, and the more she interacts with the townspeople, the more she realizes that she fits in.  And she soon discovers that the tiny little town has a rather awesome secret that only a select few know - and it's a secret that only begins to be unearthed when Lauren responds to a call that Rudy has been injured.  When you see who Rudy is, you'll start to unravel the mystery of "Christmas Under Wraps"!

Friday, December 09, 2016

Jem Reviewed: Episode 38 - Danse Time



Welcome to another edition of Jem Reviewed, as well as Day #9 in the POP CULTURE ADDICT'S ADVENT CALENDAR!  And after last week's episode where the group tried to reunite a jazz band from the 1940s, this wek we have what could be considered the closest thing to a Christmas episode that Jem actually made!



This is Episode 38:  Danse Time.  I get the feeling that this episode has to do with the delightful Danse, so already I'm getting excited about it!



Oh, and look!  Our pal Richard Xanthos is back again!  I really liked him the last time that he appeared in the show, so once again I'm hopeful that this is going to be a great episode!

It seems as though Xanthos has a contest going on where the theme is all about friendship and goodwill - which almost immediately means that Jem will likely be a shoo in for this one.  It's a music video contest where the winning music video will win a quarter of a million dollars for a cash prize.  Honestly, I'd have settled for one of those books that Xanthos was giving away in his last contest, but hey, cold hard cash is a lovely prize too.



Jerrica Benton is immediately interested in the contest and signs her band up.  Surprisingly, Eric Raymond is there, and he wants to enter the Misfits too.  Oh yeah, because the Misfits are poster children for friendship and goodwill.  Oh, and the groups have three weeks to produce their videos - which is actually a generous amount of time given that some rock groups barely get three days to crank out a video.



Luckily, the Holograms have a couple of secret weapons in their arsenal.  The first, clad in aqua leg warmers and figure skates is Danse.  She's the choreographer for the video - which seems to be set in a winter wonderland.  Told you this was the closest you'd get to a Christmas episode.



The second secret weapon is a guy named Red, who apparently has stolen Scrooge McDuck's voice.  And, no he's not voiced by the late Alan Young, but it sounds quite similar.  Anyway, he's got a snow machine hooked up that will allow flurries of freshly made snow to fall on the girls - you know, since snow in Los Angeles is almost as hard to find as people who DON'T want to be in the entertainment industry.



And for Jerrica Benton, the video has to have the best possible people working on it.  If they win the contest, Jerrica plans to have the entire cash prize donated to Haven House - the home for runaways that Danse works part-time at.  That's such a great cause!  Once Jerrica's faithful secretary Joanie leaves the room, Jerrica changes into Jem - in front of the freakin' window.  It's like she's not even trying to hide her identity anymore.



Meanwhile the Misfits are at some sort of car dealership making their next video, where three of the four Misfits are complaining about how hard it is to make a video.  Can you guess which ones they are?  Hint:  It's NOT Stormer. 



Of course, the video that the Misfits make - for a catchy, smooth tune entitled "Free and Easy" is quite a great video.  Mind you, the song is essentially a celebration of laziness, but who cares...it's easily one of the best Misfits songs of Season 2 so far.  One thing I'll say about the music - it's gotten better in quality for the first half of the season, and I hope it's a trend that continues.

After the Misfits are finished singing, Eric arrives and tells them to scrap the video and to make another one for the contest.



This is Stormer's face when Eric tells them that the contest is about friendship and goodwill.



And this is the rest of the Misfits giving Stormer a good old dose of "stankface" when Stormer is excited about the video concept.  Oh, this should be a fun experience.



Over at Star Video, the place where the Holograms are filming their video, Jem, Kimber, Aja, Shana, Raya, and Rio are standing by waiting for the snow machine to start.  Danse is in her figure skating outfit looking like she was born to be on the ice, and she's practicing some of her best moves as Red turns on the machine.



But Red doesn't realize that the machine is old, and hasn't been used for a while.  A couple of the screws come loose and because of that our light fluffy snow turns into an avalanche which sends everyone on the ice scattering in different directions!  Just how powerful is that thing?



Danse is blown right into the side of the rink where a gigantic wooden tree prop falls right on top of her!  Oh my god!  They killed Danse!  Those bastards!

Oh, wait.  Wrong show.



Rio manages to get the machine shut off as the Holograms lift the giant tree off of Danse, but Danse is seriously injured, and they need to call 911.  She's in so much pain, and even though she's a cartoon character, it's still tough to watch.



It seems as though Danse is in worse shape than anyone thought.  The accident has caused some damage in Danse's leg that has made it nearly impossible for Danse to walk, let alone dance.  And considering that dancing is what Danse does best, it's heartbreaking to know that she might never dance again.  Her guilty feet have got no rhythm.

But before the entire George Michael song plays, there is a shining ray of hope.  Danse can learn how to walk again with a lot of therapy and rehabilitation, but she's the only one who can make it happen.  Jem and the Holograms are disappointed that Danse won't be able to help them with the contest and...

...okay, wait a minute.  HOW SELFISH CAN THEY BE?!?  I mean, yeah, they are making the video so that Haven House can win the money but shouldn't they be more focused on helping Danse now?  I mean, come on!  They agree to wait and see how Danse responds to treatment before they start any more filming on the video.  Gee...how big of them.



At the rehabilitation clinic, Danse is uncharacteristically in a foul mood.  Despite the encouragement of other patients there, Danse doesn't seem to want to do any therapy at all.  Well, with friends like the Holograms, it's sort of understandable.  To make matters worse, a male patient spills an entire plate of donuts all over Danse, which causes Danse to yell at him!  I don't know about you, but I'm not liking this side of Danse at all.  But it's funny that even an angry Danse has a cute voice. 

Oh, that's the reason why!  Danse is voiced by Desiree Goyette, the same person who sang all those songs with Lou Rawls in all those Garfield specials!  Oh, and she voiced Nermal, the world's cutest kitty cat!  That's Jem Trivia for this week!



It turns out that the reason why the patient was so clumsy is because he can't see anything.  And once she learns that truth, a humbled Danse heads over to his room in her wheelchair to formally apologize to the young man - who goes by the name of Cisco.  And after accepting Danse's apology, Cisco takes Danse on a whirlwind ride down a hill towards a swimming pool area.



Cisco explains to Danse that when he was three years old, he fell down and injured his head so hard that he lost his eyesight.  I have to wonder just how hard he smacked his noggin and what surface he hit his head with to cause that much damage!  Fortunately, Cisco is a prime candidate for a surgery that could restore his eyesight for good.  And he actually tries to encourage Danse to be receptive to the therapy sessions because she would definitely benefit from it.  Danse is still unsure that they would work for her.



And then Cisco falls in the swimming pool because he forgets where he is.  And unfortunately for our blind man, he can't swim.  This leaves Danse to try and save him from drowning which is difficult because she can't move her legs without feeling incredible pain.



But Danse seems to have superhuman strength whenever someone she cares about is in danger, and she somehow manages to climb to the lifeguard station where she grabs a life preserver and tosses it to Cisco saving his life!  Way to go, Danse!



Once Cisco is out of the water, they make a promise to help each other out as long as both of them are in the rehab center.  This is really great stuff here!



And come to think of it, so is the song that we hear during Danse's quest to get back up on her feet again.  This is a new offering called "Takes Work" by Jem and the Holograms, and it's definitely a great song that showcases Danse's struggles to walk again very well.  It's very inspirational and I'm finding myself loving Danse more and more.  It's nice to also see Cisco being a great friend to her during all of this and I think Danse's shining personality is coming back too.  It can only help.



Over at Misfits Music, Eric presents his idea for their friendship and goodwill video.  The band will perform in a giant gumball machine.  Okay, unless the theme is that friends stick together like chewed-up gum (and even that's a metaphor that Eric and the Misfits would be too stupid to get), I fail to see how gumballs equates friendship and goodwill.  Eric explains that it's a good concept because everyone loves gumballs.  Wow, that's an argument.  Pizzazz remarks that she hates gumballs.  Roxy thinks that Pizzazz hates everything.  And Jetta tells everyone that the Queen Mum chews gumballs.  Oh yeah, like I can really see the Royal Family chomping down on gumballs.  Okay, maybe I can see the Duchess of York doing that, but not the Queen Mum!



And over at the Holograms winter wonderland, Rio delivers the bad news to the Holograms that most of the crew of their video was hired away by the Misfits.  Red has flown the coop, but Video has stayed on.  Maybe Red can cause a sharknado over at the Misfits video.  Aja at least shows some common sense by remarking that she understands why they would leave considering that they were waiting for Danse to get better, but the rest of them are upset that they won't be able to finish the video. 



Over at the Misfits recording studio, Pizzazz, Roxy, Stormer, and Jetta are dressed up in what could be considered some of the ugliest gumball outfits that I've ever seen.  Though the giant gumball machine they are in is kind of cool.  Red is operating a lever that sends out several gigantic gumballs in cherry, lime, banana, and orange flavours to the ground below.  Oh, and the song they're playing is "I Like Your Style" - which I guess is a song about friendship in a passive-aggressive kind of sense.



Eric gets a little bit bored and decides to bother Red by wanting to pull the levers.  Geez, Eric is just like a little kid, isn't he?  Hilariously, Eric pulls the wrong lever and he causes the Misfits to fall out of the gumball machine prop and roll out onto the floor.



The Misfits decide that friendship and goodwill are out the window as they try to kill Eric for nearly killing them!  Unfortunately their costumes are so big and bulky that they trip and roll onto the floor.  And Red is so disgusted by their behaviour that he and his crew quit the project to go back to Jem and the Holograms - but not before he pulls another lever to bury the Misfits and Eric with more gumball goodness! 



And, look...here's Jem and the Holograms trying to get an extension on their deadline for the music video contest.  Okay, seriously, I know you want Danse to recover and I know you're doing this for her charity, but how can you expect Xanthos to give you an extension?  It wouldn't be fair to the other bands taking part!  Seriously, the world does NOT revolve around you, Jem!  And thankfully Xanthos agrees with me and says exactly what I said - well, minus the whole "world not revolving around them" part.  So, now they're waiting for Danse to get better. 



And you know, Danse is actually improving a lot with her walking!  She's taking steps, and her attitude has done a 180 since she entered the facility.  And Cisco's surgery is approaching as well.  Danse gives him luck, and Cisco tells Danse to keep pushing through the treatment.  We're then treated to another rehash of "Takes Work", only this time we see Danse learning to walk again and the beginning of Cisco's surgery. 



We'll learn how Cisco coped in a minute or so, but Danse is now walking with a cane which is a remarkable turnaround.  The Holograms have paid a visit to her at the rehab center and Danse is so excited about being able to walk again that she doesn't even blast the Holograms for being so selfish.  Though, I suppose she wouldn't, given that all the money is going to a charity she loves and supports if she wins.



And after Jem leaves, Danse drops by Cisco's room and Cisco remarks that she is moving around quite well - leaving Danse to get excited that Cisco's surgery to restore his eyesight worked like a charm!  The two share a bonding moment and Danse tells him that if he likes the way she walks, he'll love the way she dances.



And we cut forward a couple of days where we see that Jem has completed her video.  Mind you, the song isn't that original.  We heard "People Who Care" in Episode 8 of the series.  But given that the video is about friendship and goodwill, it's a nice song to have playing.  Unfortunately, Cisco might have his eyesight back, but he definitely needs lessons in dressing.  That cactus sweater is a What Not To Wear moment in the making.  But at least Danse is fully healed.



It also appears as though Jem's entry in the contest was the winning entry, and Haven House wins the quarter of a million dollar cash prize!  Nicely done!

Now at the end of the episode, it falsely gives the appearance that Danse and Cisco are a couple now - and while they do make a good coupling, I have to say that this is the last time you'll see Cisco.  It's too bad too...he was a great character, and he should have made at least one more appearance.  But I guess since his name isn't Sean Harrison and he doesn't have a phony British accent, I guess it wasn't in the cards.  Oh well. 



Another great episode this time around, even though Jem kind of annoyed me with the "GET BETTER NOW, DANSE" angle.  I mean, even though they were competing for Haven House, I feel they were extremely pushy.  And can I say that for most people who suffer leg injuries like Danse, it takes a lot longer than 21 days for them to heal.  But despite those inconsistencies, it was nice to see the spotlight fall on Danse, as she is my favourite secondary character in the series.  



Next week, we find out that one of the Misfits has a secret - one that she's very ashamed of.