Okay,
so last week, I expressed a truth that may or may not be the truth, but I
believe it to be at least partially true.
I know, I'm confusing the hell out of everyone. My bad.
That
truth is that I feel as though I have Asperger's Syndrome. Could be true. May not be true. I have
quite a few of the symptoms of it, so it very well could be within the realm of
possibility. I could just suffer from
extreme social anxiety, or have mild antisocial tendencies brought upon by the
fact that a four inch iPhone screen is somehow more interesting than human
contact.
Whatever
the case, I've come to marginally accept that my brain is wired a lot
differently from the average person.
However,
that doesn't mean that the road to acceptance was an easy one. I mean, I'm still only marginally accepting
of it, so I'm still taking that journey as I type this out.
I
think it's almost like going through the seven stages of grief when dealing
with the revelation that social awkwardness is something that I'll likely have
for the rest of my life and that there's really nothing that I can do to change
that. I can fake my way through it, but
there's always that feeling of being uncomfortable through the whole process.
SHOCK
& DENIAL - Why was I born with the inability to socialize normally? This is impossible!
PAIN & GUILT - It's not fair that I can't make friends easily! I'm lonely!
ANGER
& BARGAINING - I HATE THIS! Why
couldn't you have made me like everyone else?
Why couldn't someone else deal with this instead of me?
DEPRESSION
& LONELINESS - I can't change myself, and people don't accept me...so SCREW
YOU ALL!
THE UPWARD TURN - Okay, so maybe this isn't so bad after all. At least I can think outside the box better.
RECONSTRUCTION
- Okay, so this way of thinking is impossible...how do I make it possible?
ACCEPTANCE
& HOPE - Okay, you got this. You
are who you are, and you can't change it.
But you can work with it and still be a success.
I guess it's pointless to say that I'm not at level 7. I'm not even at level 6. I'm sort of between 4 and 5. I'm almost ready to start that upward turn.
I
understand that I am socially awkward, but I don't know why. Especially since in my earliest childhood
years, I wasn't shy at all.
Klutzy and uncoordinated, yes. But shy,
no. At least, not towards people who
were older than I was - which at the age of four was 95% of the world's
population.
I
managed to make friends with who I thought were the most interesting people in
the world at that time. The guy who
delivered bread to the convenience store was a cool guy. As was the head librarian of the library
where I went every Thursday afternoon during the first five years of my
life. Every person I passed on the
street when I was a kid, I said hello to.
Of course, I always had a parent with me at all times. I don't want anyone thinking that I was
wandering the streets of downtown all by myself!
But
when I entered school, all that changed.
I just couldn't find a way to relate to my classmates because I had
never really had much experience playing with kids. The neighbourhoods that I lived in had hardly any children in it
at all. They were all senior
citizens. My siblings were much older
than I was and their friends were all older.
I often wonder if that could have been a factor in why I find myself incredibly
awkward around people my own age. It
was nobody's fault that I didn't have that growing up, but I wonder if being
enrolled in a daycare group would have helped me out there.
I
think that being around adults more than children could have been where I
developed my extensive vocabulary as well.
Because my childhood was mostly filled with adults, I was surrounded by
larger, more complex words just based on their conversations, and I think
somehow those words got absorbed into my brain through osmosis. And maybe a few four letter words that most
definitely would have gotten me suspended from school if ever I said them.
Of
course, not having that interaction with kids my own age was really awkward and
painful, and if you've read this blog at any point, you know my school days
weren't exactly happy ones. I was
picked on a lot by kids in the school for every possible reason, and it
continued all the way until high school graduation.
I
remember having a lot of anger from that time period. First at the kids for being so mean to me. Then it shifted to the school board for not
doing enough to protect me from the abuse that I endured. Then somewhere along the line, I blamed
myself for being "broken" and "misunderstood", and I wished
that I could just be "normal" so that everyone would like me.
Then I thought...why would I care if anyone
liked me? And then I wrote that blog
last year where I disowned myself from my own graduating class. It proved to be an exercise that was really
hard to compose at first, but once I got it out in the open, I felt liberation,
and I felt as though I could finally move past it. Now I hardly even give them a second or third thought. The way I see it, if they wanted me to be a
part of their lives, they'd have made the effort. And if I wanted them to be a part of my life, I'd have made the
effort as well. I guess the lesson
learned is that not everyone in the world is going to like you, and that I
should focus on those who do.
But what if you are unable to even understand the basic concept of love? I talk about that next week. And while I realize that my thoughts might
seem all over the place, this is an important part in trying to get to know who
I am and what makes me tick. I feel
like over the last few months, I have lost touch with who I am, and I need to
get reconnected with myself.
Regardless of whether I have Aspergers', or whether I am socially awkward, or
have a hard time relating to people...it's important to get to know who I am
before I can know anyone else.
Can
you believe that there are just eight more episodes to go in the Jem Reviewed series? This project just flew
right by, didn't it? Last week, we saw
Jem try her hand at being Beauty in "Beauty and the Beast". And this week, we're going to the country of
Yugoslavia in this latest installment.
Well,
okay, technically we're going to Croatia...but back in 1988, it was
Yugoslavia. In Jem Trivia, I can tell you that prior to 1991, Yugoslavia was one nation, but by
April 1992, it had split up into five different countries. Either way, the city we're visiting is
Zagreb, and the episode we're looking at today is Episode 58: Homeland, Heartland.
It's
also the last episode that was animated in Korea as opposed to Japan.
The
star of today's show is Danse, and we quickly learn that Danse's origins are
from Yugoslavia. Both of her parents
were born in the country, and Danse is excited to finally be able to visit the
place where her family history originated.
Well, that, plus Jem and the Holograms, Video, and Rio are flying to
Yugoslavia as well to film a music video for their latest single with the
Zagreb ballet. But Aja and Kimber have
a conversation on the plane and we learn from that conversation that Danse's
mother was one of the star ballerinas for the ballet. She went missing years ago when Danse was a little girl, and
although it seems unlikely for Danse's mother to be in Zagreb, it could serve
as the starting point for solving the mystery.
Once
they arrive in Zagreb, Jem is introduced to their guide and liaison, one Anton Nivich. I believe Anton is an
ambassador of sorts for the nation and agrees to be their tour guide as they
arrive at the building where the Holograms will be filming the video. Anton does offer a word of warning for the
American tourists. He tells them that
the artistic director of the ballet - one Victor
Krosach - is
not a fan of the band, and dismisses their music as anything but art. This statement makes Kimber see red, but Jem
is determined to change Victor's attitude.
But
it seems as though Jem is going to have her work cut out for her when we see
Victor in action. He is at a rehearsal
along with his prima ballerina, Vera, male ballet dancer Stefan Horte, and three other ballerinas.
He basically calls the three extra ballerinas elephants, and he
dismisses Jem and the Holograms as talentless Americans. I wonder if he and Minx from the Stingers
are related?
Of
course, Stefan defends the Holograms by stating that he likes them a lot, and
when Jem and the others arrive, Jem wastes no time in telling Victor where to
stuff his opinions. Victor and Vera are
not impressed by Jem...however once Victor locks eyes with Danse, his attitude
does a complete 180 and he changes from Mr. Hyde to Dr. Jekyll almost
instantly. That's kind of creepy. He agrees to let the Holograms stay, and he
introduces himself to Danse, though he accidentally calls her Nadia.
Danse
explains that her name is Giselle Dvorak, to which Victor reveals a portrait of
legendary ballet dancer Nadia Dvorak - Danse's mother! And I have to say that aside from the
obvious hairstyle difference, Nadia and Danse are definitely mother and
daughter.
But while Victor seems enchanted by Danse, Danse's attention seems to be more
on Stefan. It appears as though Danse's
feelings are reciprocated as well, as Stefan can't stop staring at Danse
either.
It's
decided that Danse and Stefan will work on a dance together as Jem and the
Holograms rehearse for the video. I
have to say that I've been kind of rough on the songs for Season 3 and haven't
found them as creative as the previous seasons...however I do love "Music
and Danse". It's definitely a love
song, but not overly loaded with too much sugar. It works out very well in its context, and I think it's genuinely
a great Season 3 song.
Plus,
Danse and Stefan obviously have heat and chemistry. I mean, she's only known him for three minutes and already
they're kissing. It's official. Danse is the new Kimber.
After
all, she has not only Stefan in love with her, but Victor seems obsessed with
her too. Victor practically steamrolls
over Stefan's dinner invitation and makes it a point to show Danse around the
city. Stefan leaves with his tail
between his legs, and Danse is left very conflicted.
Shortly
after that awkward moment, Danse is surprised with a note underneath the
door. While there is no indication as
to who it is from, the note tells Danse that if she is looking for answers
regarding the whereabouts of her family, she should go to the village of Bled
where she reportedly has living relatives there. Danse isn't sure what to make of it, so she asks Jem for
advice. Jem seems to suggest that Danse
convince Victor to take her to Bled, but warns her to be cautious. Even though Victor has been nice to Danse,
there's something about him that seems off.
Well,
I suppose the tacked on scene before the commercial bumper in which Victor
blames Nadia for leaving him and making a vow to keep her daughter by his side
forever followed by him shattering a champagne flute against the wall might be
one indication that Victor might be a little bit cuckoo.
Apparently,
Danse and Jem don't see Victor as being much of a threat - at least not
yet. They tell him of their plan to hop
on the first train to Bled to locate Danse's family members in hopes that they
will know where her mother is. Victor
decides that he will accompany them on the trip, and makes a comment about how
the town is near the Julian Alps, which can be quite dangerous.
Someone
who isn't impressed by this turn of events is prima ballerina Vera, who tells
Victor off...but Victor tells her to mind her own business where Danse is
concerned and that he can crush her star power just as easily as he created
it. After all, she's just as guilty of
making Danse's parents disappear as he is!
Whoa! I expected there to be a
cover up of some sort, but I never expected Vera to be involved as well. This mystery has just gotten even more
exciting, I have to admit. This is
shaping up to be a good episode!
Danse,
Jem and the Holograms, Rio, and Stefan all board the train to Bled, and Raya is
amazed at how close Stefan and Danse have gotten - especially since they only
just met a few hours ago. Truth be
told, I think Kimber still holds the record for the fastest time that anyone
has fallen in love with someone on this show, but it does set the stage for
song #2.
The thing is..."Falling in Love With a Stranger" is a really bad
song. I mean, I get that there are only
so many ways you could incorporate a rhyme with the word stranger, but the
lyrics are so basic I could have sworn that it was written by a nine year
old. Definitely not Jem's finest work,
even though the video part shows the budding romance between Stefan and Danse -
as well as the green eyed monster known as Victor who is not happy that the two
of them are together.
In
fact, once Danse excuses herself so that Victor and Stefan can have a
conversation with each other, Victor essentially issues a threat against Stefan
to stay away from Danse or else. Of
course, Stefan isn't interested in any threats to his budding romance, and he
basically tells Victor to go flock himself.
I'm sure that Victor has learned his lesson. And if you believe that, I have a plot of land to sell you.
That
plot of land happens to be in Bled. It's
got a nice little inn there and that is where the Holograms will be
staying. While they are settling in,
Danse reveals to Stefan that her mother went missing when she was a child and
doesn't know where she went - and that her father died before she was
born. In a way, I can see why Danse
spends so much time with the runaways at Haven House - and why Danse seems like
an honourary Starlight Girl. She more
or less was orphaned at an early age.
Makes Danse's story very heart crushing.
Unfortunately
for Danse, the people at the inn seem to be very unfriendly. Any time she asks them for any information
about the Dvorak family, they pretend they don't know, or they clam up whenever
they see Victor. It's very...strange.
At
least a little boy sitting nearby seems to be a lot more open. I guess if you want to know the truth about
someone or something, just ask a child.
Children can be quite honest, you know.
Thanks to the child, he lets Danse know that the Dvorak family has had
farmland near the Julian Alps for hundreds of years, and chances are they are
still there. Danse thanks the boy
profusely and sets out towards the Dvorak farm.
Once Jem, Danse, Rio, Stefan, and Victor arrive at the Dvorak farm, Danse sees
a man working outside. He's obviously
much older than she is, but he immediately recognizes her and sheds a small
tear of happiness. She introduces
herself as Giselle Dvorak, and the man responds by saying that he is her
great-grandfather Johann Dvorak! And while Danse is thrilled to have found the place where her
family came from, that happiness quickly fades into frustration when Johann
responds quite coldly to Victor being there.
I get the feeling that Victor has done something really horrible to the Dvorak
family. I hope he didn't kill Danse's
mother. And even so, would the show
really go into a storyline that dark?
After
a very uncomfortable dinner, Danse is crying outside and she is convinced that
her own family doesn't even want her there.
Stefan and Jem try to console her, but Danse is really upset. The poor girl.
Fortunately
for Danse, Johann later explains that the family does love her very much and
that she really does remind them of everything good about Nadia. But they have less than flattering things to
say about Victor. They do not trust
him, and they want Danse to stay away from him. Danse questions why this is the case, given that he has been so
nice to her, so Johann decides that rather than tell her why, he'd rather show
her why. Johann has a friend who lives
in the mountains of the Julian Alps, and he can explain the situation better
than anyone else can. Danse agrees to
go with him, and Stefan tags along as well to make sure that Danse is okay.
But shortly after the trio leave, Jem notices that Victor has gone missing, and
Jem seems to think that if Victor was tipped off, he may do something to harm
either Danse or Johann, so she gets Rio to follow along behind them in case
something happens. I never thought I'd
say this, but Rio comes off pretty decent in this episode. Mind you, it's only maybe three times that
this has happened in fifty-eight episodes now, but still...when he's good, he's
very very good.
And
Victor is very very bad. It seems as
though his plan is to use a gigantic rock to kill either Johann or Danse. I'm thinking that since his obsession is
with Nadia and her daughter, his intended target is Johann and once he's out of
the way, he can kidnap Danse and enslave her into his ballet troupe forever. Ah, so he's going full on caveman here.
Victor planned for everything - except for Rio jumping him from behind. I don't think Rio really planned for it
either as he and Victor roll down the side of the mountain causing a major
avalanche!
Fortunately,
Rio and Victor manage to leap to safety before the snow buries them. But Danse takes a direct hit from the
cascading snow and is quickly buried underneath six feet of snow! WHAT?
They killed Danse?!? You
BASTARDS!
Fear not! A randomly placed mountain
man appears from the distance and happens upon the scene. Wow, it's a good thing he was there in the
middle of nowhere near a deserted mountain path! The man runs towards Johann and Stefan and the three of them try
to dig Danse out before she suffocates. Rio corners Victor and tries to get him to help, but Victor runs away like the
yellow bellied coward that he is. Rio
tells him just that in not so many words too.
Once Rio joins the search and rescue efforts, it doesn't take too long for the
four men to find Danse, although she is unconscious when they get her
freed. Our mountain man tells the men
that he has a cabin nearby and that he can help Danse recover. Eh, why not? He seems more trustworthy than Victor anyway.
And here is where the bombshell of all bombshells is detonated. When Danse wakes up and the man gazes upon
her, he nearly dies of shock. Johann
explains that the man is Peter Dvorak - Danse's father! Say WHAT?
I thought he died! Even more
confusing is the fact that once Peter figures out the truth, he denies Danse
and tells her that she reminds him of how Nadia abandoned him! This story gets more and more complex each
second!
In a series of flashbacks, we learn that Nadia was once the prima ballerina of
the Zagreb ballet, where some twenty-five years ago Victor was still the artistic
director. Victor developed a strong
bond with Nadia and it is implied that Victor fell in love with her, but that
those feelings were not reciprocated.
That's because Nadia fell in love with Dr. Peter Dvorak, and despite Victor's
rage and jealousy getting in the way and threatening Peter with great harm if
he pursued Nadia, the two got married and shortly after that, Nadia became
pregnant with Danse.
At the same time this was going on, a flu outbreak was present in Yugoslavia,
and there was a shortage of medicine.
Peter only had a limited supply of penicillin to dole out, and one day
someone broke into his clinic and stole the medicine. Can you guess who it was?
To make things worse, whoever stole the medicine reported Peter for trying to
sell it on the black market to make a profit and he was taken to jail for
several years! And he cursed Nadia ever
since for abandoning him when he needed her the most.
To which Danse calls shenanigans and explains to her father that Victor tricked
Nadia into thinking that Peter had died in hopes that she would stay with
him. But with Nadia being pregnant, she
knew it was dangerous to stick around, so she fled to America where she gave
birth to Danse and shortly after that, she disappeared. She did send Peter letters, but Peter
claimed to have not received any of them.
Peter turns away from Danse and tells her to leave, telling her that the
very sight of her breaks her heart.
Wow, that's harsh...and sad.
Tearfully, Danse agrees to leave, but she promises that she will find a
way to clear her father's name and to find out what Victor knows. Whatever it takes. Wow, so even though her own father told her that she was a
painful reminder of his past, she still wants to help him. Danse's heart is 100% pure. Love this character.
One
character I am hating is Victor, and he seems to have a plan that will buy him
some time and get Danse on his side for good.
All he has to do is plant some stolen defense plans in Jem's possession
and they will go to jail, and Danse will have to agree to marry him if she
wants to see them freed. This is really
sadistic, and even Vera is concerned that this plan is beyond him. But psycho Victor is determined to make it
work on all counts.
Frustratingly, it seems to do the trick as the authorities immediately corner
Rio and Video once they arrive back in Zagreb (Danse and Stefan have taken a
cab to Victor's place so that Danse can confront them in person). Jem, Kimber, Aja, Raya, and Shana manage to
escape in the kerfuffle but the authorities are in fast pursuit of them.
Jem thinks quickly though, and the Holograms run towards a museum where they
disguise themselves as statues. The
police run past them, and this gives them a window of escape. They still have to find a way to foil Victor's
plans and to clear their names, and Jem seems to think that only one person can
fit the bill. They rush towards the
offices of Anton Nivich, thinking that he can help. But that still won't help bring Victor to justice as he covered
his tracks quite well.
Meanwhile,
Danse confronts Victor about everything she learned about her father, and
Victor makes no attempt to even hide the fact that he orchestrated the
disappearance of her parents and framed Jem and the Holograms for espionage. Stefan is ready to murder Victor, but Victor
essentially promises to let them go. He
tells Danse that not only can she be his wife, but he will make her the new
prima ballerina of the Zagreb ballet - RIGHT IN FRONT OF VERA! Oh, if looks could kill...
Well,
how about a mountain man? Seems that
Peter has had a change of heart and makes an appearance in Victor's
office. He and Victor get into a
physical brawl and it ends with Peter throwing Victor on top of a desk which
shatters it into several pieces.
And
with that, we have evidence of the fact that Victor purposely kept Peter away
from Nadia. Inside the desk is all of
the letters that Nadia wrote Peter. She
never forgot about him...Victor kept them apart. I imagine in those letters will also be proof that Victor caused
the crime that got Peter framed in the first place. This is what you call laser guided karma, Victor!
Of
course, there's the issue of the stolen defense papers, and how Jem and the
Holograms could be in serious trouble - at least until a scorned Vera tells the
authorities the whole crooked plan implicating Victor for everything. Vera also sadly confesses to her own role in
the plan, but she is more than willing to accept her punishment. After all, Victor's will be much more severe
than anything she could face. Did
Zagreb have the death penalty in 1988?
If so, well...that's showbiz, Victor.
At
least with the demons exorcised and the chains holding Peter down being finally
broken, it allows for a tearful reunion between father and daughter. And now that Peter and Danse are back
together, it's time for the final song of the show which...
...wait...we're
hearing Music and Danse AGAIN?!?
Seriously? The music budget must
have gotten seriously slashed during Season 3.
Oh well, it's still a nice song.
And some great news for Danse. Peter has agreed to go back to the United
States with Danse where hopefully he can rebuild his life. But he also has one final thing that he must
settle...finding Nadia. Unfortunately
the series ends before that mystery can ever be resolved, which is a
shame. But at least Danse has found a
new love interest in Stefan, and she has her father back in her life. All in all, a terrific episode! Could be my favourite of Season 3 so far.
Coming up next week, the Stingers make their return. Oh joy. And hey, it looks
like the Rio/Jem/Riot love triangle gets turned up a notch. Oh double joy. Why am I dreading this one?
This
week's Throwback Thursday is brought to you by the
letters A, T, and by the number 40.
And, no, this blog is NOT Sesame Street related either.
I'll
let you all stew on that one as we take a look at some of the events that took
place on this date.
1565 - Cebu is established, becoming the first
Spanish settlement in the Philippines
1667 - John Milton sells the copyright of
"Paradise Lost" for a mere ten pounds - by this time, Milton is blind
and living in poverty
1777 - The Battle of Ridgefield takes place during
the American Revolutionary War
1813 - American troops capture the settlement of
York during the War of 1812
1861 - Abraham Lincoln suspends the writ of habeas
corpus
1865 - Cornell University is established by the
United States Senate
1882 - Poet Ralph Waldo Emerson dies at the age
of 78
1899 - Woody Woodpecker creator Walter Lantz (d.
1994) is born in New Rochelle, New York
1922 - Actor Jack Klugman (d. 2012) is born in
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
1927 - Civil rights activist Coretta Scott King
(d. 2006) is born in Heiberger, Alabama
1937 - Actress Sandy Dennis (d. 1992) is born in
Hastings, Nebraska
1939 - Actress Judy Carne (d. 2015) is born in
Northampton, England
1944 - Singer Cuba Gooding Sr. (d. 2017) is born
in New York City
1945 - Benito Mussolini is arrested by Italian
partisans in Dongo
1947 - Lead singer of Badfinger Pete Ham (d.
1975) is born in Swansea, Wales
1967 - Expo 67 opens in Montreal, Quebec with an
opening ceremony broadcast on television all over the world
1974 - A march of approximately ten thousand
people congregates in Washington D.C., demanding the resignation of President
Richard Nixon
1981 - Xerox PARC introduces the computer mouse
1986 - The mass evacuation of Pripyat and its
surrounding areas takes place due to the Chernobyl disaster
1989 - The April 27 demonstrations take place
during the Tiananmen Square Protests of 1989
1993 - Tragedy strikes when the entire Zambia
national football team is killed in a plane crash enroute to a game
1994 - The first general election in South Africa
in which black residents can vote for the first time is held
2006 - Construction begins on the new One World
Trade Center in New York City
2011 - A whopping 205 tornadoes touch down in
several states of the Southeastern United States, killing at least three
hundred people
And
for celebrity birthdays, we have the following famous faces turning one year
older today; Anouk Aimee, Chuck Knox, Lee Roy Jordan, Ruth Glick, Helmut Marko, Kate Pierson, Ace Frehley, Larry Elder, Sheena Easton, Marco Pirroni, Anna Chancellor, Nigel Barker, Isobel Campbell, Sally Hawkins, and Patrick Stump.
So,
what is going to be the date that we'll be revisiting today?
Looks like it's one that is way back in the past - April 27, 1932. By my calculations, that
would make it eighty-five years ago.
I
thought that for today's post, I would talk about my personal memories of
today's Throwback Thursday topic - which admittedly is going to be tough
because he was born almost five decades before I was. But he had such a presence in my childhood and early
adulthood. From Saturday Morning
cartoons to the music heard on the radio, he was always there, and his
distinctive voice brought happiness on the most dreary of days.
Unfortunately,
his passing was one of the weirdest to be reported on, and what happened to him
in his final days sounds like something out of a soap opera or science fiction
novel. But we'll get to that a little
bit later.
As I mentioned, this week's topic is brought to you by the letters A, T, and
the number 40. Put them together, and
you have AT40. Or American Top 40. Now these days the radio show is hosted by
"American Idol" host Ryan Seacrest, and has been since 2004. But when the show debuted on July 3, 1970,
it was hosted by the man who essentially spent four decades teaching the world
how to count backwards from 40 to 1.
A man who would have been 85 years old today.
Let's
have a look at what that very first broadcast intro was...from the mouth of Casey Kasem himself!
"Here
we go with the Top 40 hits of the nation this week on American Top 40, the
best-selling and most-played songs from the Atlantic to the Pacific, from
Canada to Mexico. This is Casey Kasem
in Hollywood, and in the next three hours, we'll count down the 40 most popular
hits in the United States this week, hot off the record charts from Billboard
magazine for the week ending July 11, 1970.
In this hour at #32 in the countdown, a song that's been a hit four different
times in the last nineteen years! And
we're just one tune away from the singer with the $10,000 gold hubcaps on his
car! And now, on with the
countdown!"
Those iconic words kicked off one of the most iconic countdown shows ever to be
broadcast on radio. And Casey did the
job beautifully. He kept you guessing
on what songs would be on the chart with his cryptic clues (the answers to the
two questions were "It's All In The Game" by the Four Tops and Mark
Lindsay's "Silver Bird"). He
was filled with trivia and never known facts about the bands and artists
featured on the countdown. And of
course, who could forget the long distance dedications in which listeners from
all over the world would write letters to Casey asking him to play a song for a
loved one? Granted, there's a tale in
which a long distance dedication caused Casey to lose it on the air...but I
don't want to post it here because I am still unsure if it really happened or
if it was an elaborate hoax. It's still
a funny tale. Apparently it involved a
listener writing a letter for Casey to play a song for his deceased pet right
after he played an upbeat Pointer Sisters song.
But
yeah, that's a different topic for a different day.
I
have to say that when it came down to it, I spent nearly every weekend
listening to Casey's countdown. MTV and
MuchMusic may have had the video market covered, but Casey still managed to
keep an audience together with his soothing voice which helped the countdown
flow better. I can safely say that
Casey Kasem helped me get through seventeen history essays, eight geography
projects, a slew of English assignments, and was the calm to my experience with
algebraic hell.
And
that's even during the period when he left AT40 and started his own countdown
show called "Casey's Top 40".
While Casey hosted his own show, Shadoe Stevens took over AT40 for seven
years before it went on hiatus in 1995.
Then when AT40 was revived in 1998, Casey came back as host and stayed
there for another six years before leaving in 2004. Of course, he stayed in the radio business for a few years after
that, hosting American Top 20 and American Top 10 until he retired from the
radio business in July 2009 - almost thirty-nine years to the day that he began
his career.
Of
course, his radio career wasn't the only thing that he did in his lengthy
career. He also dabbled in television
as well. In fact, I can remember when I
was a kid and I used to watch his video countdown on NBC on Saturday mornings. It was like the same format as the radio
show only he featured ten songs instead of forty. It was cool to see Casey hosting a video show, as back in the
1980s, video was starting to kill the radio star. Of course, Casey's radio show lasted a lot longer than the
television series. That program only
ran from 1982-1992 - and Casey only appeared in the finale during the show's
final season.
And
if you have ever watched any of the older episodes of the various incarnations
of the Scooby-Doo cartoon series, you most certainly will recognize Casey Kasem
as the voice of Shaggy. From "Scooby-Doo,
Where Are You?" to "A Pup Named Scooby-Doo", Kasem voiced Shaggy
from the show's debut in 1969 to 1997 (he left the role after refusing to voice
Shaggy for a Burger King commercial because Kasem was vegan), and again from
2002-2009.
I
can still totally remember watching Scooby-Doo as a kid when our CBS affiliate
aired "The Danny Burgess Show" every afternoon, and wanting to be one
of those kids drinking the McDonald's milkshakes in the audience watching
Scooby-Doo cartoons. Unfortunately,
that show got cancelled because Oprah Winfrey decided she wanted that time slot
to host her brand new talk show. But
Scooby-Doo is one of those shows that is on the air on some channel. You just have to search for it.
I also remember Casey Kasem starring on a couple of episodes of "Saved By
The Bell" - which makes sense, given that his television countdown aired
on the same network that "Saved By The Bell" was on. In one episode, he hosted the dance contest
at the Max where Lisa and Screech won by performing the "Sprain",
while in the other, Kasem chronicled the rise and fall of the fictional band
Zack Attack. You can guess who the lead
singer of that band was.
Casey
Kasem was certainly a man who had a huge voice, but he also had a huge heart as
well - and up until his death, he supported Jerry Lewis and his MDA Telethon
for many years. I still remember him
appearing on the telethon every Labour Day introducing acts that were
performing on the show as well as accepting donations from various
organizations and businesses all over the country.
He
absolutely was a part of my childhood...and I suppose in the back of my mind, I
always thought that he'd always be around.
Sadly, Casey passed away on June 15, 2014 after a battle with Lewy body
dementia - a disease that mimics many of the symptoms of Parkinson's Disease,
and that golden voice of his was one of the many casualties of the disease
before he died.
But
it was in his final months that made his death seem like a family feud. There were battles between Casey's second
wife, Jean, and the three children Casey had during his first marriage, over
who would take care of Casey during his final months. Casey's children claimed that Jean had kept Casey hidden and that
she refused to let them see him. Even
after his death, the feud continued, with Jean reportedly moving his remains to
a funeral home in Montreal to keep Casey's children from performing an autopsy
on him. Even stranger was the fact that
Casey's final resting place ended up being in Oslo, Norway! Again, the tale of the family feud between
Casey Kasem's wife and children is a lengthy one...one that I could talk about
in length in a future blog. But for
now, let's just celebrate Casey's life with one final quote...one that he would
say at the conclusion of every broadcast he ever did.
"Keep
your feet on the ground, and keep reaching for the stars."
Truth
is a very complex thing to understand.
There are factual truths that exist in the world. Water is always wet. Snow is always cold. Fire is always hot. These are all truths that we have all come
to accept, and they are truths in which we live our lives by.
But what happens when you come across a truth that you feel is so hard to
comprehend that you actually want it to be a lie? Examples would include having your significant other cheating on
you with someone else. Or, having to
face the fact that a friend or family member has a terminal illness. Or finding out that you have had your
identity stolen by someone you considered a friend. Certainly these are truths that can potentially happen to
anybody, and it can be a living nightmare to those who have to face that truth.
And
then there is my story. My story that
is based around a truth that has been a part of me my whole life that I have
only recently become aware of within the last couple of years. A truth that I am still struggling to accept.
For
those people who have been following along on my blog, you've probably figured
out what this truth is. But for those
of you who are wondering what I am talking about, I'm going to share with you
some truth. I don't exactly know how
receptive people are going to be to it, but I need to talk about it because I
think it could help other people who might be struggling to deal with the same
truth that I am trying to accept. The
truth is that my truth might cause me to lose some contacts, but that is a risk
that I am willing to take - for it is my truth that has likely been the fault
of why some of my relationships have fractured over the last 35 years of my
life.
The
frustrating part about this truth is that I'm not really sure if the truth that
I believe is really the truth of what I have.
I know that statement probably doesn't make sense to some of you, but
it's the best way that I can describe it.
And
this truth is so complex that I am going to need more than one entry in this
blog to talk about it. Consider this to
be a miniseries of sorts. This is
merely Part 1. If I've planned this out
thoroughly, this should conclude the same week this blog turns six years old!
So, what is this truth that I need to reveal?
My truth is that I believe I have many of the symptoms of Asperger's Syndrome. I have never been formally tested by any
medical professionals, nor have I been officially diagnosed by any doctor who
specializes in autism. But I know that
based on my childhood experiences, my inability to do tasks that most people
seem to take for granted, and my stellar ability to make a fool out of myself
in social situations, I've got most, if not all the signs. Asperger's can also be considered a form of
high-functioning autism, so it's a bit difficult to determine if a person has
it without knowing some of the symptoms associated with it.
I'm
convinced though. And the truth is...I openly admit to having a hard time finding acceptance of it.
Because in order for me to admit it, that would be like admitting to the
whole world that I have an abnormality.
For my entire life, I've wanted to prove to the world that I can fit in
with everybody, and I feel that by coming out as somebody who potentially has
Asperger's, I'm essentially waving the white flag of surrender in ever being
declared normal.
I
mean, yes, the truth is that normal is overrated and in some cases even
dangerous. On that token, I think all
of us feel as though we stick out like a sore thumb or are square pegs trying
to squeeze into a round hole once in a while.
It's just that I feel this way EVERY DAY.
I
suppose I should explain why I feel that I have Asperger's, and I suppose the
best way to do this is to go over some of the symptoms that people who have it
face. And once I explain my own
experiences, it is my hope that those who know me will understand me a little
better. And for those who made fun of
me, or who picked on me, I hope it will make them understand why I couldn't
always conform to their standards, or why I felt it was unfair for them to gang
up on me.
The
first symptom of Asperger's deals with vocabulary. Many people with Asperger's usually have an extensive vocabulary,
and often use big words - even when they are in the single-digit age range. I guess it comes as no secret that I used to
read the dictionary. For fun. Not exactly an activity that most children would admit to, but I always found it fascinating to learn new words every
day. The problem is that I would often
use these words in conversations with classmates or co-workers and get the blank
stare in response. It's kind of similar
to the effect one would get if you tried to speak to Siri in twice the speed
that you would normally talk in and it comes out one garbled mess.
Even
now, I find that I have to second guess how I phrase things, and as a result, I
come across as if I stutter, or my speech sometimes gets garbled because I
think I used the wrong word. If I could
communicate through writing exclusively, I'd be fine. But let's face it...this world is one that sometimes doesn't shut
up.
Another
sign that one might have Asperger's is the super sensitivity to certain noises
and that they might have a keen ear for the slightest sound. Even as something as innocent as a balloon
popping or a sudden blast from a police siren could trigger a panic
attack. I hope some of my elementary
school classmates are reading this right now because those times in which you
used to chase after me in the school playground threatening to pop a balloon in
my ears just to see me cry...THAT'S THE REASON WHY. I'm not holding my breath for any apology...just telling it like
it is. Besides, you couldn't have
known. And while I can handle it a lot
better now, it still bugs me.
It
also explains to why I sometimes mute the television set if I know a gunshot is
about to go off - much to the annoyance of those who happen to be watching
television with me.
Another
symptom of Asperger's syndrome can be (but not always) possession of a
photographic memory. I know I have
one. I've been told by family members,
family friends, neighbours, and even several teachers that I've had that I have
one. One person I know even compared my
memory to that of the Dewey Decimal System.
That's not me trying to brag or anything like that. Those who truly know me know that this is the
case. If anything, I'm too humble to
shout anything out from the rooftops.
It's just a fact of life that I've accepted.
Be
grateful. This blog wouldn't nearly be
as exciting or interesting if I didn't remember everything that happened to
me. Both the good parts and the not so
good parts.
People
who identify as having Asperger's have a difficult time (though not always)
with physical contact, and have a difficult time (though not always) with
maintaining eye contact with people. I
can definitely say with a resounding "Hell Yeah" that I find it hard
to lock eye contact with people - which could explain why I have bombed many
job interviews over my lifetime. I sure
wish job interviews were conducted over the phone or through e-mail. I wouldn't nearly be so stressed out over
them. I think it has to do with the
fact that I find it a little uncomfortable when I have to stare directly into
the eyes of another person. I don't
quite know how to explain it. It's just
the way it is. I don't expect people to
understand, and I think that some might have the wrong impression that I am
rude or ignorant or flippant about them.
It's really anything but. I find
it frustrating that I find it uncomfortable to make direct eye contact with
people.
As far as physical contact goes, I'm only comfortable with it if it's someone
that I know extremely well. Family
members, I'll gladly hug it out with.
Friends, it depends on how well I know you. Complete strangers...keep away.
I mean it.
And
then there's the social aspect that is associated with people who have
Asperger's syndrome...or lack thereof.
And it's one of the many things that can be considered a negative. Well, at least it is for me, anyway.
But
that's a tale that will wait until next week.
Now that you know what some of the symptoms of Asperger's are...it's
time to reveal some of the pitfalls that can come with it.