This
is it. We are in the final stretches of
the Jem Reviewed series.
Season 2 ended with a marriage proposal and Jem losing the Academy
Award. How will Season 3 begin? Why, with a new band, of course! Because having only two bands just isn't
enough.
This
is yet another two-part episode. Episode 54: The Stingers Hit Town, Part 1. And we begin at Misfits Music where Eric is having a meeting with
the band that has been his cash cow for the last three years - the
Misfits. And, might I add that it's about
time we see them again! I was almost
missing them the last couple of episodes.
Unfortunately,
that cash cow of Eric's has been running dry, and Eric is basically admonishing
them for spending more money than Misfits Music is making. They've been destroying things, shopping way
over their budget, and they are all unrepentant about it. When Eric tries to throw his weight around,
Pizzazz helpfully reminds Eric that her father owns the record company, so he
can't really do anything to them.
Actually,
that's not true. Eric could purchase
the company from Harvey Gabor, which would give him full power. And after Eric shares with Harvey all of the
things that the Misfits have done (including smashing musical instruments and
charging thousands for room service), Harvey is unimpressed with Pizzazz, and
decides to make Eric an offer. I'm
still wondering what the hell Pizzazz ordered from room service that would cost
that much money - A pint of Haagen-Dazs topped with beluga caviar?
But
Harvey also knows business when he sees it, and he shocks Eric by doubling the
offer he made the first time. That
means that Eric will have to come up with some major funds in order to purchase
Misfits Music. And in what I believe to
be the greatest use of laser-guided karma that I have ever seen, Eric sells
close to everything he owns - including his own home! It actually makes me feel some schadenfreude when I see Eric
basically living in one of the offices of Misfits Music.
And
the first thing he does is set the Misfits straight. Although he will still keep them on contract at Misfits Music -
or Raymond Records as he has the desire to rename the company - they will have
to do what he says and pay for any expenses out of their own pocket. No offense, but if Eric didn't want the
Misfits to be spoiled, he probably should have been doing this before he took
them on.
Naturally,
Pizzazz is furious that Harvey sold the company to Eric and she threatens to
pull the Misfits out of his company.
But Eric takes her dare and says that now would be the time to add some
new blood to the mix. When did Eric
suddenly develop cojones?!?
Over
at Starlight Music, Jerrica's secretary Joanie is expressing some concerns of
her own. Although Starlight Music is
still generating profits, most of the money is going towards the maintenance
and upkeep of Starlight Mansion, so there's not a lot of money left to go
around. Jerrica seems to think that
they need to sign a couple of new bands to Starlight's roster to increase
profitability, but she's not sure who the next big thing is.
Perhaps
Lindsey Pearce can help Jerrica out.
Turns out that Lindsey has a bit of gossip that she's sharing
exclusively with Jerrica. A band who
hails from West Germany (remember, the Berlin Wall didn't get knocked down
until 1989) is playing at Le Klub Kool.
They call themselves The Stingers, and they have already
established a career in Europe.
However, they're looking for an American record label to spread their
popularity even further. Jerrica seems
to think that she could get them signed with Starlight Music, and she decides
to take Kimber along for the ride.
Unfortunately
for Jerrica and Kimber, it seems as though Eric Raymond has the same idea. After a heated verbal confrontation which
requires a waiter at the club to move the Benton sisters to another table,
Jerrica is more determined than ever to score a deal with the Stingers before
Eric has a chance to.
And
just who are the Stingers? Well,
they're all dressed in black and yellow like bees. Because bees when they get aggressive sting. Yeah, I find it kind of lame myself. But let's introduce them, shall we? The male lead singer with hair like Bon Jovi
and clothes like Liberace is Riot. And Riot loves himself.
Yes he does.
The
woman on keyboards with the hat, long hair, and German accent is Minx.
And
the other woman with the giant ponytail is Rapture. Interestingly, she has an American accent just like Riot. I wonder if we'll find out the story behind
that.
For now, it's time for the very first Stingers song heard on the show. Appropriately, it's called the
"Stingers Theme". The lyrics
are not something to write home about.
It's just Riot singing about how the band rocks and incorporates lyrics
around the band names. The musical
arrangement though? Stunning. Definitely nothing we've ever heard before
in the series. It certainly seems to
have worked on Kimber as she is following him around the stage as if he's the
Pied Piper of Hamelin.
For
that matter, the entire audience bar Jerrica and Eric Raymond gather around the
stage and get into a major scuffle as a result. Tables are tipped, drinks are spilled - it's just a gigantic
mess. At least, that is until Riot opens his mouth and tells everyone to sit down in
the most soothing voice ever, which actually works! Even Kimber is hypnotized into sitting back down which frightens
and amuses Jerrica all at once. But
hey, since we're talking about Riot's voice, let's go ahead with Jem Trivia. Riot's speaking voice is
performed by voice actor Townsend Coleman, who has been a major force in the
voice industry, having played roles in "The Tick", "Inspector
Gadget", and most notably as the voice of Michelangelo in "Teenage
Mutant Ninja Turtles".
Yeah...picture it. The same guy who voices Riot was the one yelling "Cowabunga" all those years on the Ninja Turtles. Mind blown.
Yeah...picture it. The same guy who voices Riot was the one yelling "Cowabunga" all those years on the Ninja Turtles. Mind blown.
Eric
rushes up onto the stage, nearly shoving Jerrica out of the way in the process,
and hands Riot his business card. Eric
informs Riot that he is the owner of Raymond Records and that he would love to
have the Stingers under his roster.
But wait! Jerrica arrives with a
business card of her own, informing Riot that if the Stingers sign with
Starlight Music, she will promise them a fair deal. Eric is seething, but Riot announces that he will consider both
offers as he is a fair man. A very vain
and egotistical man, but a fair man.
Jerrica even offers to sweeten the deal by having the Stingers as guests
at Starlight Mansion, but Eric snaps back that he has a mansion. Eric, I don't think Fisher-Price mansions
count.
Of course, Minx seems to have developed a bit of a crush on Eric, and tells Riot that they need to go with him, so Riot decides that the Stingers will stay with Eric. Of course, Eric sold his house to buy the record company, so he's pretty screwed. He does tell them to wait until tomorrow and he'll have everything set up.
Of course, Minx seems to have developed a bit of a crush on Eric, and tells Riot that they need to go with him, so Riot decides that the Stingers will stay with Eric. Of course, Eric sold his house to buy the record company, so he's pretty screwed. He does tell them to wait until tomorrow and he'll have everything set up.
And Eric's idea involves convincing Pizzazz to use her mansion to house the
Stingers, which immediately gets a "Flock You" look from
Pizzazz. There is NO way that she or
the rest of the Misfits will allow the band that is essentially serving as
their replacements for flavour of the month to come and move into her
home. Okay, Pizzazz, technically it's
your father's home, but whatever. The
doorbell rings and Pizzazz marches to the door with an eclair in her hand ready
to tell off the Stingers...
...and
then she gazes upon Riot in all his glory and she melts like an ice scuplture
in the middle of June. If this is going
to be what it's like for the next twelve episodes, I'm going to be finding
myself hating Riot.
Sure
enough, Pizzazz changes her tune and does a 180 about letting the Stingers move
in, which stuns Jetta, Roxy, and Stormer.
After all, Pizzazz is supposed to be the STRONG Misfit. Roxy decides that if Pizzazz won't tell the
Stingers to leave, she will...
...well,
at least until Pizzazz crams an eclair into her mouth and Roxy can only watch
in anger and disgust as Pizzazz shows Riot, Rapture, and Minx to their new
rooms.
Riot
is definitely someone who thinks highly of himself, and as Pizzazz shows him
around Gabor Manor, he comments about how this exquisite mansion is suitable
for him. I'd sure love to see where he
lives. Perhaps it's the Taj Mahal? By now, it's fairly obvious that Pizzazz has
fallen hard for Riot, and Riot keeps saying all the right things to make her
swoon. It's actually kind of vomit
inducing, I have to say.
But after Pizzazz leaves the room, the true intent of the Stingers comes out,
and Riot, Rapture, and Minx talk about how they plan on having a lot of
"fun" with the Misfits.
Ladies and gentlemen, meet the Stingers. The new antagonists of the Misfits. But I wonder how they'll get along with Jem and the Holograms?
Well, over at Starlight Music, Jerrica is annoyed that she hasn't heard back
from the Stingers yet. She's submitted
her offer to the band three times and she is worried that Eric might have
gotten the Stingers to sign with Eric instead.
But the other Holograms tell Jerrica not to worry about it and instead
focus on the special presentation that they will be making at the Hard Rock
Cafe. Ah, so this explains why everyone
but Jerrica is dressed as if they are going to the Academy Awards. Fortunately, Jerrica does a "Showtime,
Synergy" spiel and looks as good as the Holograms in just three
seconds. I bet a lot of women (and
maybe some men) wish they had that power.
Back
at Gabor Manor, Eric is trying to get Riot to accept his deal, but Riot refuses
to make a decision until he hears from Jerrica...but admits that Jerrica hasn't
contacted him yet. But Jerrica just
said she tried to make an offer three times.
I bet Eric's playing dirty again.
As for the Misfits, Pizzazz continues to throw herself at Riot which makes the other Misfits angry, and when Riot hears that Jem and the Holograms are making an appearance at the Rock Hard Cafe, he decides that he wants to go. Pizzazz decides she wants to go as well, leaving the other Misfits behind. The other members of the Stingers are acting kind of weird as well. Minx pushes Eric away when he gets too close, saying that she finds his American ass boring as hell. Rapture, meanwhile, grabs a quartz statue worth nothing and brings it along. At least Rapture asks Pizzazz if she could have it before taking it, so I'll suspend judgement. For now.
As for the Misfits, Pizzazz continues to throw herself at Riot which makes the other Misfits angry, and when Riot hears that Jem and the Holograms are making an appearance at the Rock Hard Cafe, he decides that he wants to go. Pizzazz decides she wants to go as well, leaving the other Misfits behind. The other members of the Stingers are acting kind of weird as well. Minx pushes Eric away when he gets too close, saying that she finds his American ass boring as hell. Rapture, meanwhile, grabs a quartz statue worth nothing and brings it along. At least Rapture asks Pizzazz if she could have it before taking it, so I'll suspend judgement. For now.
Over
at the Rock Hard Cafe, it appears as though Jem and the Holograms have made
enough of a musical impact to have some of their memorabilia displayed inside
the restaurant. Jem's contribution is
an old guitar of Aja's. I wonder if all
five members signed the guitar. And as
Jem thanks everyone for their support, she announces that she couldn't have
done it without the help of their technician and engineer Rio Pacheco. Mainly because if she thanked a seven thousand
pound computer that looked like an extra in Olivia Newton-John's
"Physical" video, she'd be carted off to a mental asylum.
But
before Jem can finish, there's a commotion at the entrance of the Rock Hard
Cafe. Looks like the Stingers and
Pizzazz have made their appearance, and much like what happened at Le Klub
Kool, everyone is flocking towards them as if they were the Royal Family.
Jem decides that now would be a good time to get Riot alone to discuss the
offer from Starlight Music, but Aja tells her that she'll just come across as
another fan if she does. Again, Aja's
the brains of the operation for Season 3.
I see her ranked highly on my Season 3 wrap-up. Jem agrees with Aja and decides to fight
fire with fire...and she does this with a song we haven't heard since Episode
2.
I'll admit that I wasn't quite fond of the music video for "Like a
Dream" the first time I saw it.
Too much imagery and too much Rio.
But this time around, with Riot trying to find Jem only to get thwarted
at every opportunity...it's much more effective. Definitely a contender for best use of a classic song for Season
3.
Now,
here's where things get interesting.
After Jem's song, Riot gets mesmerized by Jem and actually pushes
Pizzazz out of the way to get to know her better. Wow, so Riot has a thing for Jem? I wonder what Rio would say about that?
I'm guessing based on this screenshot, he doesn't think much of it. But to my disappointment, Rio and Riot don't
get into a fist fight. And, yeah, I'm
just realizing that Rio and Riot only have one letter separating their names so
I'm cursing myself that I'll have to be extra careful when both of them are in
an episode together. But to Rio's
shock, Jem brushes Rio off to speak with Riot and to introduce him to the rest
of the Holograms! Wow!
It appears as though the rest of the Holograms seem to find Riot quite
charming. Shana doesn't say too much
(sadly this is getting to be normal for her), but Raya and Kimber seem
enchanted by Riot. Oh, here we go
again. At this point, you could drop
Sean Harrison in the middle of the club in his underwear and Kimber would still
swoon over Riot. Thankfully, Aja is not
swayed by the yellow and black clad rocker, and tells Rio that she does NOT
trust him, and she hates the way that Jem treated Rio. Um, Aja...Rio's treated Jem just as badly in
some cases. She must have selective
amnesia.
But
Aja does seem to be right about the true intentions of the Stingers. As soon as Rio leaves the Holograms, Minx
basically throws herself at Rio and tells him that they need to be alone
together. Good lord, Minx must throw
herself at any man that moves. She and
Kimber should get along great!
And
we learn why Rapture wanted the statue so badly. She's using it to scam people out of money by promising that it
will grant wishes. You know, I'm
sensing the theme for the Stingers. If
you get stung, your mind belongs to them.
They could be extremely dangerous for both the Misfits and the
Holograms.
As
for Pizzazz, she interrupts a meeting between Jem and Riot about Jerrica's
offer, and when this happens, Riot turns on Pizzazz and tells her to go
away! I...I don't think anyone has ever
told Pizzazz that, much less a man that isn't Eric Raymond!
Pizzazz
doesn't seem to take this rejection very well and decides that she will take
revenge by ripping the guitar off the wall and smashing it into a hundred
pieces. The owner of the cafe sees what
she is doing and tries to grab the guitar back. There's a bit of a struggle, but the cafe owner wins and sends
Pizzazz flying into a replica of the Statue of Liberty...
...which
crashes into a table filled with customers.
Shortly after, a massive food fight erupts right in the middle of the
cafe, and everyone is trying to get out of the way. I, meanwhile, am laughing at the irony of Riot unintentionally
being the cause of another Riot. I'm
thinking we know where the stage name came from!
Though I have to give Riot some credit.
Around Jem, he's a perfect gentleman, and he gets her out of the chaos
safely. Though Rio is not impressed
when he and Kimber spot Jem and Riot driving away in the Rockin' Roadster. Kimber's probably upset that the other
Holograms have no way to get home, but Rio has reason to be more upset than
that. Pizzazz is also steamed until Rapture cozies up to her and tells Pizzazz that she will help her win Riot's heart. Yeah, given Rapture's introduction, Pizzazz should be frightened.
As
Jem drives down a secluded area, Riot tells her a little more about
himself. His real name is Rory
Llewellyn, and he was an army brat growing up, having moved all over the world
(ah, so that explains Riot's American accent).
As for how he and the Stingers got together, I can tell you that we'll
find out more about this in the second-to-last episode of the series, but we're
not quite there yet. Either way, Jem
seems interested in learning more about him.
This sounds like an episode of Dallas! I can't keep up! Hopefully part two of "The Stingers Hit Town" will clarify some things. That's coming up next Friday.
