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Tuesday, September 06, 2011

Bring Back Schoolhouse Rock!

I can remember a fond time in which ABC's Saturday Morning line-up wasn't so terrible.

You turn on ABC on a typical Saturday morning, and what do you see? You see Hannah Montana episodes from 2006, That's So Raven episodes from 2002, and Mighty Morphin Power Rangers episodes from 1993?!? Really?!?

It's like someone photocopied the entire Disney Channel line-up from five years ago, threw away the ABC Kids programming chart, and decided that would be acceptable.

News flash. It's not.

At one time, ABC's programming line-up for kids on Saturday morning was one of the best. Bugs Bunny and Tweety, ABC's Weekend Specials, and many more original programs aired on ABC's Saturday morning line-up for years. Not anymore, it seems.

There was one show that I can remember watching back in the glory days of the ABC Saturday morning. A show that debuted on January 6, 1973. A show where the sixty-four episodes produced (of which sixty aired on television) was only three minutes in length.



As your body gets bigger, your mind grows flowered, it's great to learn that knowledge is power!



Schoolhouse Rock was similar in format to the NBC segment 'One To Grow On' in that they had three minute long educational episodes that were placed in between cartoon shows. There were two major differences though.

While One To Grow On dealt with educating kids on morals, ethics, and conflicts, Schoolhouse Rock was a program that educated kids on a variety of subjects that a child would learn during their grade school years. There were segments on multiplication, grammar, science, American history, economics and ecology.



And the second thing that made Schoolhouse Rock stand out was that all of these lessons were set to music. Before the debut of MTV in August 1981, these Schoolhouse Rock segments were the only music videos that millions of children would get up early on Saturdays to watch.

But do any of you know how Schoolhouse Rock came to be?

The concept of Schoolhouse Rock was born at an advertising agency, if you can believe it. At the McCaffney & McCall advertising agency on Madison Avenue in New York City, the McCall of the operation (David McCall, to be precise) came upon a revelation in regards to one of his sons. He discovered that while his son could remember the lyrics to popular rock songs at the time, but was unable to remember his multiplication tables for math class.

It was then that he had a brilliant idea. What if he combined the two? What if he had rock songs that educated children in school subjects?

He put that theory to the test. With help from singer-songwriter Bob Dorough, McCall came up with a song called 'Three Is A Magic Number', a song designed to help children learn how to multiply numbers by three. When the track was recorded, it tested well, and a children's record was released. The first song of the album was 'Three Is A Magic Number', and when a man named Tom Yohe listened to the song, he began to doodle drawings to go with the lyrics, later telling McCall that it would make a great cartoon venture.

After a failed venture to produce the record as a print workbook, McCall decided to pitch the idea to ABC Television (which at the time was the largest account for McCaffney and McCall) to produce an animated series based on the songs on the children's record. They pitched the idea to Michael Eisner (who at the time was the president of the ABC children's programming division), who immediately loved the concept. He even asked longtime Warner Brothers cartoonist Chuck Jones to listen to the presentation, and on January 6, 1973, Schoolhouse Rock was born.



And, it's only fitting that 'Three Is A Magic Number' would be the first episode.

The original series ran from 1973-1985, and was revived in 1993 (presumably for its 20th anniversary), and ran both old and new episodes until early 2000. After that, there were some straight to DVD/video releases as recently as 2009.

The unfortunate part is that the series has not aired on ABC or any other network for at least a decade, and in a way, I feel that the current generation of kids are really missing out. There's only so much Hannah Montana that one can watch before they tune out really quickly. I would actually launch a petition to bring Schoolhouse Rock back on the airwaves because I honestly feel that educational programming is being backburnered for programming that basically teaches kids nothing. And that's a real darn shame.

So, to close this note off, it's my mission to bring forth some of my favourite Schoolhouse Rock segments from each of the early seasons, just so everyone can relive these moments, and so kids born after the mid-1990s can experience this awesome show.

I already showed you a clip from Multiplication Rock, but there were so many other subjects that the show featured. After the 11-episode run of Multiplication Rock was completed in 1973, the next subject to be featured was Grammar Rock, with such songs as 'Interjections!', 'Rufus Xavier Sarsaparilla', and this song.



Science Rock was another popular subject explored by Schoolhouse Rock, debuting its first block of episodes in 1978. Those songs helped kids learn about the solar system, gravity, the digestive system, and this electrifying smash.



Around the American bicentennial of 1976, Schoolhouse Rock put forth a series of segments dealing with American history, called America Rock.  These segments were where kids learned about the Declaration Of Independence and the U.S. Constitution. But they also learned about how the U.S. Government worked.

(Confession: These segments were an actual study aid for my American History class in 12th grade)

Anyways, there were a lot of segments aired for America Rock, including this one.



In the 1993 revamp, the idea of Money Rock began to air on Schoolhouse Rock, and a new generation of kids learned about saving, currency, loans, and balancing a budget.



The final subject to be explored was geology and environmental studies, in a segment called Earth Rock, in 2009, and subjects included global warming, recycling, solar energy, and other subjects. Schoolhouse Rock's last hurrah, if you will.


Monday, September 05, 2011

Monday Matinee: Dead Poets Society



One of my favourite classes in high school was English class. As someone who read books almost every day, and who developed a talent and passion for writing, it's only natural that it would end up being a class that I would put my all into. I even won the eighth grade faculty award for the subject, so clearly it had to have some influence in my life.

Certainly, any class where I was required to write essays, stories, and written projects were classes that I seemed to excel in. English, history, creative writing, media class. Those were all subjects that I really took a keen interest in, and managed to get through with little difficulty. Conversely, math and science were classes that I really did not like very much at all, and as a result, I did very poorly in. But that's just the way my brain was wired, I suppose.

Despite my love for English, there were a couple of aspects to English class that I really did not like at all, or liked very little. While most of the books that I was asked to read for the curriculum were enjoyable and interesting, there were a few that put me to sleep. I know I talk about being proud to be Canadian, and I love almost everything about this country, but oh my goodness, the year we did Canadian literature was the year I wanted to snooze through class.

(On a side note, maybe that's why I want to be a published author so badly...to prove that even us Canadians can come up with captivating and enlightening tales that keep the reader glued to each page.)

And then there was the unit that we had to do on poetry and prose, which was another area of English that until a few years ago, I had absolutely no tolerance for.

I should note that not all the lessons we did on poetry were all that bad. We once had to listen to Top 40 radio and interpret the lyrics of a particular song, and I actually think it was that assignment that may have inspired me to create the Sunday Jukebox feature here.

The majority of the poetry lesson was learning about stanzas, and writing poems, and learning the difference between prose and poetry, and how we were talking about taking the road less travelled by, and how it has made all the difference, blah, blah, blah.

No disrespect to Robert Frost.

But then, I came across the poem, O Captain! My Captain!

And that poem got me thinking about poetry and how powerful it could be. I can consider my own skills in poetry to be adequate, but I consider myself a better storyteller, so I never really put any focus in improving my poetry skills. But, I have to hand it to Walt Whitman, who wrote the poem back in 1865 after the assassination of then American president Abraham Lincoln, he had the chops to come up with an amazing poem.



I did include a photo of the poem in this entry, but in case it's hard to read, here it is in full.


O Captain! my Captain! our fearful trip is done;
The ship has weathered every rack, the prize we sought is won;
The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,
While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring:
But O heart! heart! heart!
O the bleeding drops of red,
Where on the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.
O Captain! my Captain! rise up and hear the bells;
Rise up—for you the flag is flung—for you the bugle trills;
For you bouquets and ribboned wreaths—for you the shores a-crowding;
For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning;
Here Captain! dear father!
This arm beneath your head;
It is some dream that on the deck,
You’ve fallen cold and dead.
My Captain does not answer, his lips are pale and still;
My father does not feel my arm, he has no pulse nor will;
The ship is anchored safe and sound, its voyage closed and done;
From fearful trip, the victor ship, comes in with object won;
Exult, O shores, and ring, O bells!
But I, with mournful tread,
Walk the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.
Maybe some of you might just see it as just another poem by some dead guy, but I liked it.

And apparently, there was a certain movie that was released in late Spring 1989 that featured this poem in a number of instances. It was a movie that featured a teacher that used unorthodox teaching methods, but yet inspired his classroom filled with students to think for themselves and really come into their own as individuals.



That film was 'Dead Poets Society', and the screenplay won an Academy Award in 1990. That screenplay was penned by Tom Schulman, and it was loosely based on his experiences at an all-boys preparatory school in Tennessee, where he attended.

And the whole movie is based on one simple phrase.

Carpe diem.



Carpe diem is a a phrase that could be found in a poem by Horace, and the basic meaning of that phrase is 'seize the day'. Take control of your own destiny. Live as if your future is uncertain.

At the Welton Academy Preparatory School, the idea of carpe diem doesn't seem possible. Run by headmaster Gale Nolan, the school makes no hesitation in priding itself in its values of tradition, honour, discipline, and excellence.

Even though some of the students of the school seem to feel differently.



Although we don't get to see every student in the school, we are introduced to seven of them. There's Neil (Robert Sean Leonard), Todd (Ethan Hawke), Knox (Josh Charles), Charlie (Gale Hansen), Richard (Dylan Kussman), Steven (Allelon Ruggiero, and Gerard (James Waterston). They are all senior students and they are at the age where they are questioning the futures that have supposedly been laid out for them. In particular with Neil and Todd.

Neil had always been expected to go into the field of medicine (something that is quite ironic, given that Robert Sean Leonard currently plays a doctor in the television series House), but has a secret desire to go into the field of acting. Todd on the other hand is destined to become a lawyer, when all he wants to do is write.

Certainly I know a few people who were pressured into following a career that they themselves did not want to pursue. Sometimes parents have a tendency to live through their children, and some even try to salvage their lost dreams by forcing them upon their own kids, regardless of whether they want it or not. This was especially hard for Neil in particular, but I'll get into that a little bit later.



This school year, the seniors happen to have a new English teacher. John Keating (in one of Robin Williams' dramatic roles). His teaching methods as compared to the other educators at Welton are unorthodox, daring, and in all honestly don't seem to fit in well with the message that the headmaster was trying put forth in regards to the school. Somehow, though, I don't think the students of Welton minded too much.

Some of those unorthodox methods of teaching included;



  • telling his students to refer to him as 'O Captain My Captain', if they feel daring
  • whistling the 1812 Overture in class
  • ripping a redundant introductory page right out of their poetry textbooks
  • standing on top of their desks to discover a new way of looking at the world

The teaching methods of one John Keating might have been out of the ordinary, but it really made English class much more fun for the students. And if anything, Keating's presence brought forth two major developments.

For one, it caused the re-creation of the 'Dead Poets Society', a literary club that Keating himself had been a part of in his youth, and they have secret meetings in a cavern on the school grounds.

More importantly, Keating would often take the class outside of the classroom, urging his students to follow their own passions and to live each day as if it counted.

Carpe diem. Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary.”

Quite the powerful line. It was actually ranked at position 95 on AFI's greatest movie quotes, and it was such a great message. The line is subject to different interpretations, depending on the viewer, but the way I like to see it is that Keating wanted the boys to grab hold on every moment and not let go. He also encouraged his students to follow what drives them and to do what they want to, not because someone else wants them to. They were the only ones who had the power to make their lives the way they wanted it.

As a result of this, he actively encouraged his students to follow their passions. He takes Todd on various activities through self-expression to become a better writer, as he believes that he shows great potential in becoming a fantastic one. He instills a love of poetry in Knox, who ends up writing a poem for a girl he has feelings for, which causes the two to become even closer.

There are some blips along the way (such as when Charlie prints an unauthorized article for the school paper about how females should be admitted as students in Welton, which leads to a standoff at the school inquiry about the article.


After this moment, Keating tells the students to be 'wise, not stupid' when it comes to protesting against the system. A message that becomes really evident at the conclusion of the film (which if you've read any of the Monday Matinee posts at all, you'll know that I NEVER spoil endings). Though, given how powerful the ending was, I was really tempted to post it. I really, really was.

However, just as things seemed to be going well, and Keating was developing an instant rapport with his students, a tragedy happened that really set forth the development of the conclusion of the film, and put Keating's own character into question.

It all began when a production of A Midsummer Night's Dream is put on, and Neil really wanted a role in the play. But he also knew that his overbearing father would disapprove of it. Regardless, he tries out for the play, auditioning for the role of Puck. However, when his father discovers what his son did, he orders him to withdraw from the play. Torn between making his father happy and seeking out his own desire to become an actor, he talks to Keating about what he should do. A well-meaning Keating gives Neil the advice that he should sit down and talk to his father to make him understand how he feels. Sound advice, which I myself would give in this case.



For whatever reason, Neil cannot find the courage within himself to tell his father the truth, so he decides to go behind his back to perform in the play anyways. For the record, the play went off well, and Neil definitely had acting chops. Had he been allowed to pursue it, he could have been great. Unfortunately, his father arrived at the end of the show, not looking at all pleased.
He was furious with him, he was. Going to enroll him in a military school, he was. It will prepare him for Harvard, it would. Become a doctor he would. His father would make sure of it. Despite Neil's protests about not wanting that career, and wanting to be an actor, his father seemingly had the last word. Which makes the fate of Neil to become one of the biggest tragedies in the whole movie (figuratively and literally), and set forth the events that would ultimately lead to the future of John Keating's teaching career at Welton.

As I said before, I won't spoil the ending of this film, because I really think it's one of those films that you really have to watch from beginning to end. Trust me, it is that good of a movie.

But you know, just going back to the point I was talking about in regards to parents who seemingly live through their children. In a lot of ways, I think this was the case between Neil and his father. It almost seemed like it was predetermined for Neil to have this set path in motion, and nothing was going to stand in his way.

That is until a caring, well-meaning teacher stepped in and tried to help him see that the only one who was in control of Neil's destiny was Neil himself. And although Neil's destiny didn't end up the way that anyone had planned or wanted to happen, at least for that one brief moment, Neil had enough courage in himself to do what he felt was the right thing.

In this world, we see dozens of examples of people vicariously living through their kids for whatever reason. You see it at sporting events. You see it in academics. Hell, you see it on that disturbing TLC show 'Toddlers & Tiaras', which is worthy of another blog entry in itself somewhere down the line.

The point is that having dreams for your children is one thing. Practically forcing your dreams onto your children when they have their own goals in life is not acceptable under any circumstances. As far as I'm concerned, people should have the ability to make their own destinies and seize their own moments.

John Keating understood this, and made it his mission to teach his students life lessons on top of the lessons on stanzas, verses, and prose.

And in my opinion, I think that's one of the things that makes a really good teacher. Seizing the moment. Carpe diem.



Sunday, September 04, 2011

Sunday Jukebox - Hot For Teacher by Van Halen



WARNING: This blog entry may contain some adult content...nothing too scandalous or scarring, but I probably wouldn't advise parents to let their young kids read it or anything. In fact, I'll post one of these stickers on this particular entry.

(Although I do realize that this is a futile attempt to warn children away from this blog, I will say that this sticker is loosely related to this blog entry.)

Yesterday's entry for this venture was a touching tribute to a couple of teachers (one real, one fictitious), and really got everyone thinking about how teachers can really serve to be an inspiration to students.

So, for today, I'm flipping the script and launching into a rant! Excited yet?

So, for the Sunday Jukebox, rather than talk about the group and the song in detail (there really isn't much to say about it), I'm going to use the subject of the song to get my thoughts out about a teacher who...shall we say...disgraced herself?

Let's begin.

Have you ever heard of a group known as the PMRC?

If you haven't, fear not, because I will tell you what it was.

The PMRC stood for Parents Music Resource Center, which was the group that was made up of four women known as the 'Washington Wives' (Tipper Gore was one of these members) in an attempt to clean up the music industry. Going after such artists like Madonna, Sheena Easton, Prince, and Def Leppard, the group made up a list of songs called the 'Filthy Fifteen', and proceeded to target any artist who used references that were violent, sexual, or promoted drug use. They were also the group responsible for retailers pulling rock music themed magazines off store shelves, and putting those black and white 'Parental Advisory' stickers on album covers.

Although this song didn't quite make it on that 'Filthy Fifteen' list, it was targetted by the PMRC for its sexual imagery and implications of sexual activity within the lyrics.

And, ironically enough, it's the perfect song to illustrate my blog point for today!



ARTIST: Van Halen
SONG: Hot For Teacher
ALBUM: 1984
DATE RELEASED: October 1984
PEAK POSITION ON THE BILLBOARD CHARTS: #56

So...yeah. No real surprises here. Bikini clad women bouncing around classrooms filled with children, sexually suggestive lyrics...hmmm...yeah, I can see how the 'Helen Lovejoys' of the PMRC would be perfecting their 'oh, won't anybody please think of the children' spiel.

Although, watching this video, it's really no different from seeing a video for say, Lady Gaga or Beyonce or whatever pop tart du jour is the target of heaps of praise this year.



The song didn't do so well on the Billboard charts, but the video was definitely memorable.

It also seems to fit in with today's topic that is related to what I really want to discuss in this blog...considering that this is Day 2 of Teacher's Week, and all.

Student crushes on teachers or professors.

Be honest. Have any of you ever developed a crush on a teacher in your lifetimes? Honestly?

It's okay. It happens a lot more than you think it does. Why I can remember seeing lots of instances in various forms of media where students have innocent, childlike crushes on teachers. I've seen it happen on Full House, Saved By The Bell, even in comic books!

I wish I could tell you stories about how I had a crush on a teacher when I was in elementary school or high school, but in all honesty, I never really did. Mind you , most of them were about the same age as my mother, and the rest of them were as old as my GRANDMOTHER. So, yeah, definitely not attracted to any of them at all.

Though I happen to know for a fact that some female students had mild crushes on the male student teachers or even some of the younger male teachers. Though, I won't be naming names on this one because that would be tacky. Besides, it wasn't any of my business anyways.

Most of the time, these crushes that students can sometimes develop on teachers are harmless in nature, and usually only last a few months before a boy band member or a soap opera actor takes over their dreams.

It's when those crushes develop into something more that things get more dicey and inappropriate. Basically, have the crush, but don't act on it. I could be wrong, but any instance where I was at school, nobody ever acted upon their crushes for teachers, because we all knew that it was wrong.

But what happens when a teacher falls in love with a student and actively pursues them to the point where inappropriateness and immorality circulates, and it gives the Helen Lovejoys of the world a real reason to scream out in horror?



Perfect example. Mary Kay Letourneau. Remember her? She was the teacher who taught at an elementary school in Washington until her affair with one of her students was broadcast to various media outlets all over the world. She was 35. The student, 13 years old.

As if that weren't bad enough, she had gotten pregnant by this child during their series of romantic liaisons.

Needless to say, she ended up losing her teaching job. She went to jail for seven years because of the whole affair, being charged with statutory second degree rape of a child.

You would think that would be enough for her to swear off of preteens forever.

See, here's where the story gets a little more twisted. Certainly, Mary Kay broke the law. She did something that most people find horrific and disgusting. Yet, the victim of this didn't see it as such. He had actually fallen in love with his teacher, and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.

Kind of sounds like a soap opera plot from hell, eh?

So Mary Kay served her seven years in prison, ended up giving birth to two children fathered by her teenaged lover (one time, she was impregnated by him during a probationary period where she violated her agreement to not see him again, and that's what lead to her seven year prison sentence).



After the sentence was up, Mary Kay was reunited with her lover, now 21 years old, and in 2004, she married her former student, Vili Fualaau. Naturally, they gave permission for media outlets to photograph and film the wedding (probably because they needed the money to pay for all the court dates she had to attend), and apparently, she wants to get back into teaching again, despite having to register as a Level 2 sex offender.

Seriously, would YOU want this woman teaching at your school?

You know, normally, I'm all for those happily ever after moments. I love it when people who are in love with each other reunite after months or years of not seeing each other again. In most cases, they're satisfying to watch, and they really make you stop and think about what's really important in life.

I'm unapologetic in saying that I do not feel this way when it comes to Mary Kay and Vili. I'm actually kind of disgusted.

Their love affair that ultimately turned into a marriage hurt so many people along the way. Mary Kay already had a husband and four children at home during the time that this affair went on. With her impulsiveness, she ended up dragging their names through the scandal, and they did nothing to warrant that, in my opinion. So the marriage wasn't going right, and she needed a way out. There were plenty of other ways to do that than going after a thirteen year old boy!



In the end, I guess it doesn't matter what I or anyone else thinks of this. They're still together, and apparently they now do DJ nights at night clubs dubbed 'Hot For Teacher' nights. Classy.

It really doesn't matter. In the end, despite their love for one another, Mary Kay took advantage of a teenager and did things with him that she knew were wrong. Teachers are supposed to be role models, and frankly, she wasn't. Sure, Vili has repeatedly told the media that he doesn't see himself as a victim, nor does he regret his feelings and love for Mary Kay. Considering that he's 27 now, I think he believes that to be true now...but at 13, how can you say that he WASN'T a victim? It's hard to pinpoint what really happened to cause this media firestorm, and we really don't know who made the first move. But as far as I'm concerned, the teacher should have known better. She really should have.

What makes this case even more ironic was that years ago, her own father had an affair with a former student at the college he taught at, and fathered two children with her out of wedlock! And, Mary Kay actually defended him, saying that her mother drove him to do it! Funny how history repeated itself, huh?



When 'Hot For Teacher' was first released, Vili Fualaau was a toddler, and Mary Kay was likely just finishing up her college years. Who knew that it would be a song that would end up describing their bizarre courtship and union?

Saturday, September 03, 2011

Saturday Comic Special: The Life And Times Of Geraldine Grundy



Hello, fellow Pop Culture addicts all around the world! I hope your Labour (or Labor If you live down in the lower 48 states, Alaska, and Hawaii spell it) Day weekend is going as perfect as it can be, and that whatever you're doing, you're having fun.

For many of us, this is the final long weekend of the whole summer, so whether you're working or playing, I hope you enjoy it. Some of us are back at school already, and some of us will be going back this Tuesday. A sad reminder that summer is over and we'll be heading into the season of autumn before you know it.

Well, unless you happen to like school, that is.


Anyway, to kick off the beginning of another school year, I thought that I would make this week Teacher's Week. Every day from September 3 to September 9, we'll be featuring a type of pop culture reference that has to do with either teaching or education. There will be one for the Sunday Jukebox, one for the Monday Matinee...I've even managed to find one for Thursday Night at the Arcade, if you can believe it. Of course, I will try to find references to my own experiences within the public school system, and talk about the good, the bad, and the ugly. In fact, take note of September 7...I'll be talking about the ugly in that one...perhaps one of my most heated blog entries that I've ever done. But, that will wait until Across The Pond Wednesday.

At least I'll give you some incentive to keep checking in the blog until then, right?

So today happens to be Saturday, September 3, 2011, and this means that I'm going to be talking about a cartoon series. In all actuality, I will be talking about a comic book character. The good news is that this comic book character has appeared in at least three incarnations of a popular cartoon serial that first began airing in the 1960s. But first, I'd like to tell you a story about one of my school experiences, if you don't mind.

I'm sure that as all of us went through school, we all had teachers in our life that really inspired us. Teachers that were so passionate about teaching that they made us want to learn. Teachers that made us want to better ourselves as people, and who were genuinely excited about helping us grow into adults (or, just more mature children).

I can think of one teacher right off the bat that fits this description very well.

When I was entering sixth grade in September 1992, it was a rather difficult year for me at first. In actuality, it started way back a year later in the fifth grade. That was the year that a lot of my friends that I had from elementary school headed off to a different school that specialized in French Immersion, and it was more or less one of those instances where I was basically left to my own devices to find a new group of friends. I managed to find a small group in fifth grade that I hung around with quite often, and by the end of that year, things sort of worked out to the point where I was okay with the way things had gone.

During that summer between fifth and sixth grades though, things began to go downhill. Two of them moved away from town that summer, and as far as the rest of the group went, they were all assigned to different teachers. So entering sixth grade, I was more or less in the same classroom with a couple of acquaintances, sixteen kids who basically ignored me, and a group of kids who used to pick on me to the point where I would dissolve into a pool of tears.

(I was a wee bit on the sensitive side in sixth grade.)

By all accounts, the 1992/1993 school year was looking as if it would be one of the worst school years ever, Even worse than 1987/1988 (which you'll read more about on the 7th).

Instead, the whole year was saved by a wonderful teacher.

Her name was Mrs. Woodfine. She was one of those teachers that looked quiet and timid on the outside...but inside, she was a ball of fire. And I mean that in a good way.

What I mean by this comment was that Mrs. Woodfine was the type of teacher who encouraged you to give your all in everything that she taught. This included what I would consider to be some of the best school projects that I think any teacher could have given us. I'll never forget the one time we were learning about geology terms and how we had to design a landscape that featured things like plateaus, peninsulas, and glaciers. We were told to make a three-dimensional model out of a plaster like mixture. I thought that it would turn out to be a disaster when I was putting it together, but it actually turned out to be a project that looked amazing. She also had some incredibly creative art project ideas, such as making Easter egg cards for our reading buddies, and making pop-up posters for art class. In fact, it was one of those pop-up posters that ended up getting chosen for display at the student art gallery, so I guess I can thank her for getting my name out there in my short lived art career. :)

There was so much more to her than simple art projects and geography models. In fact, I'd also like to share a personal story in regards to my sixth grade teacher, involving a series of embarrassing events that happened to me.

I'm sure that some of you remember going to a program in your schools called the D.A.R.E. Program. It was an educational program designed to teach middle school students the dangers of drugs, alcohol, violence, and gang activity. We had something similar in my school, only it was called the V,E.P. Program (Very Effective Person). For the first semester of the year, we would have a police constable come in to tell us that drugs were bad, and alcohol was bad, etc. In all honesty, it wasn't anything that I hadn't known before, and looking back on it, it all seemed kind of like a waste of time. Nevertheless, at the end of the semester, shortly before the Christmas break, we would graduate from the program, have an assembly at night, and we'd get our certificate and aqua-coloured T-shirt.

I can remember the graduation ceremony date very well. The date was December 8, 1992. And, how do I know this? It was the same day that I had a belt grading ceremony at the karate school where I took classes for a few years. I ended up earning my yellow belt, but once I did, I had to leave the school so I could make it to the V.E.P. Graduation ceremony.

Did I mention that I didn't have time to change out of my karate gi? And that while everyone else in my sixth grade class were decked out in dress clothes and dresses, I was in my sweaty karate outfit that looked like white pajamas? Yeah, I stuck out like a sore thumb.

When it came time for me to come up on stage to accept my diploma, there I was, walking across the stage in my karate gi while some of the more...shall we say...vocal little urchins purposely laughed and poked fun at me. What I should have done was provide a spur-of-the-moment karate chop to those bratty children from one of the katas that I had to learn in order to shut them up while demonstrating my keen karate moves.

Instead, I cried. I burst out crying right in front of all of those people and I promptly ran off the stage, embarrassed beyond belief. At that moment, I wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

But then a few days later, once the 'Karate Kid' scandal died down, my sixth grade teacher pulled me aside, and asked me to open up a green notebook that she had given me a couple of months ago. It was a book she had given me to jot down all the instances in which I felt like I was being bullied, or teased by my classmates. Initially, it was only designed for me to give only to the teacher. Unfortunately, my classmates found out about the book, and made even more fun of me. That was fine though. Gave me more material.

So, anyway, she encouraged me to write down how I was feeling about things, and she would look over it and write in some tips as to how I could handle conflicts with students better. And you know what...most of the time, her advice was spot on.

In fact, the whole idea of writing down my problems in a little book kind of was the early beginnings to my love for writing. I always found it easier to express myself through written measures than I ever could verbally. Eventually, I ended up turning my pain into words, and I find that I became a better writer because of it.

So there you have it. Without the support and encouragement from a teacher named Mrs. Woodfine, this blog very well may not exist today.

It's been years since I've seen Mrs. Woodfine. Last time I think I saw her was when I was in the tenth grade, and we used to have gym classes out at my old elementary school field (our high school football field had to be built at an elementary school, as our high school was in the middle of a concrete area. I honestly don't even know if she is still alive, to tell you the truth. I just hope that wherever she is, that she knows how much I respected her as a student. She really was my favourite teacher during elementary school.

Okay, enough about me and sixth grade.



The subject of today's blog is a teacher that like Mrs. Woodfine was an inspiration to her students at Riverdale High School. She may have had an edge to her, and she may have had a reputation of being strict. And her fashion sense may have been nonexistant (at least in her early years). However, she was probably one of the best teachers to ever exist in the world of comic books.



Geraldine Grundy has been a staple of Riverdale High and Archie Comics since the comic serial first appeared in the early 1940s. Just judging by her early appearances, it appeared as though Miss Grundy was painfully behind the times. With her hair in a librarian style bun, her teeth (or tooth) looking like it needed an orthodontist desperately, and the same floor length burgundy school marm dress that she wore for almost 35 years straight, Miss Grundy looked more like she belonged in the 1800s instead of the 1900s.

Over the years though, Miss Grundy may have ended up discovering the benefits of Botox and make-up because her looks started to greatly improve, and her fashion sense greatly improved.

Maybe Betty and Veronica decided to give her some tips? Who knows?

Regardless of Miss Grundy's appearance, one thing that you could say about her was that as much as her students drove her crazy sometimes (and in a couple of occasions, she almost decided to quit teaching), she would do almost anything to help her students do better in school.

Take her relationship with Betty Cooper for example. Miss Grundy had told Betty that she had natural aptitude as a writer, and that she was a joy to have in her class. But when Betty noticed that Miss Grundy had put a lot of red ink on her papers, she grew concerned that she was losing her edge. Not so, said Miss Grundy. Miss Grundy admitted to Betty that she graded her a little tougher than the others in the class because she knew Betty had a natural talent as a writer, and didn't want her to accept anything that wasn't her best work. Through Miss Grundy's encouragement, Betty became a better writer, and if you've ever read any of those Betty's Diary comic books, you can see samples of Betty's writing.



Miss Grundy was also a big help to Moose as well. Moose was always a student who struggled in school. His schoolwork and general proficiency skills were at a lower standard than the others in the class, and often his written assignments were difficult, if not impossible to understand. It wasn't until Miss Grundy (with help from Mr. Weatherbee) sent Moose for some medical tests that they discovered that Moose was dyslexic. Through different learning methods that Miss Grundy implemented into her lesson plans, and her constant encouragement helped Moose improve, and eventually he found himself at the same level as the other students in class, and that was all because of Miss Grundy's help.

Eventually, she would have effects on every single person that she taught. She taught Reggie Mantle how to become more humble. She taught Archie Andrews skills on how to manage his time better. She taught Veronica Lodge that her personality could attract more people than her money. As for Jughead Jones, well...Jughead kept her on her toes with his unusual methods of learning, such as sleeping through class yet retaining every single piece of her lesson plan.

Miss Grundy was a valuable member of the faculty of Riverdale High, and all the teachers loved her, as did the principal of the school, Waldo Weatherbee. Occasionally, there would be some plot where Miss Grundy was going to leave the school to take on a job at other schools that paid more. I recall one instance where a woman named Jane Silver owned a private school where her sole motivation was to attract the wealthy kids of Riverdale and give them a substandard education so that she could net a huge profit. When Veronica made it clear that she didn't want to go to the school, Ms. Silver staged a plot to bribe Miss Grundy and Mr. Weatherbee with fancy gifts and money so that they would leave Riverdale High to encourage Veronica to transfer there. With help from Archie and Chuck Clayton, they were able to expose Jane Silver's evil plan, and Miss Grundy remained at Riverdale High.

And that was just one of the many examples of how the student body got together to help Miss Grundy out.


In Riverdale High #4, which was released for the 1990 Christmas season, Miss Grundy's apartment gets damaged by a fire. The damage to her apartment is mostly smoke and water damage, but Miss Grundy is devastated because the fire seemed to have destroyed the only surviving photograph of her with her presumably deceased parents. The fire has also temporarily left her homeless just days before Christmas, so a kind-hearted Betty decides to take her in to her family's home. Problem is that this occurs the same night that the gang is slated to have their Christmas party at Betty's home. When the night of the party occurs, the mood is awkward as the group doesn't like having their party supervised by a teacher. But then Miss Grundy lets her hair down and shows the gang what real fun is about.



The gang is inspired by Miss Grundy's impromptu fun-streak (a mood they're not used to seeing from her) and everyone quickly forgets about the circumstances behind having Miss Grundy there...until Reggie accidentally brings it up during a party game. At which point, Miss Grundy starts to feel sad, and wants to go back home, so the gang all leave Betty's house, and head towards her apartment, where this happens.



Sometime between the last day of classes and the party, the gang managed to get inside her apartment and fixes it up with some cleaning and painting. Even more astonishingly, they managed to restore the picture that meant so much to her. That act of kindness warmed Miss Grundy's heart, and it really showed her just how much her students loved her.

That's why when the decision was made to kill her off in 2011, it sparked a whole lot of reaction.

That's right. They KILLED OFF MISS GRUNDY.



I should explain. There's a magazine called Life With Archie: The Married Life, which depicts two separate stories that would take place after Archie gets married to Betty and Veronica (he doesn't marry both of them at once, he marries each one in a separate tale). Well, in the Betty story, Miss Grundy reveals that she is dying of a terminal illness, and this prompts several changes. Mr. Weatherbee (who had been hiding his feelings for Miss Grundy for many, many years) ended up marrying Miss Grundy just before she passed away. Miss Grundy talks about the whirlwind courtship in this panel.



For the record, I always said that Miss Grundy was a wise woman. Her feelings about love are exactly the same way that I feel about it. Very wise woman indeed.

So in the fifth issue of Life With Archie magazine, Miss Grundy and Mr. Weatherbee tie the knot (in a bizarre triple wedding which also saw the union of Jughead and Midge, and Mr. Svenson and Ms. Beazly). They managed to last 42 days as husband and wife, living every day like it was their last.

By Life With Archie #6, Geraldine Grundy was at death's door, and everyone that she had touched along the way with her teaching skills and life lessons gathered inside the hospital lobby waiting for word on her condition. When Mr. Weatherbee told the crowd that Miss Grundy had died, everyone's heart broke simultaneously, as the group mourned the loss of what could have been one of the most remarkable teachers that they ever knew.

The eulogy for Miss Grundy was very touching, as each person spoke out over how much the teacher meant to them. Archie talked about how he'd never be able to repay her for giving him self-confidence. Betty talked about how wonderful a teacher she was. Veronica was overwhelmed by the huge heart Miss Grundy had. Moose felt that Miss Grundy saved him from failing English, as well as life. Jughead was too broken up about her death to even say a word. But perhaps the most touching piece came from Mr. Weatherbee himself.



Now, it's important to know that the Life With Archie magazine is set in the future. In many current Archie titles, Miss Grundy is still alive and well, so they didn't kill her off completely so that she would never appear again. But in this particular story, the writers of the story did a phenomenal job at honouring this character, and making everyone realize just what a fantastic teacher she really was.

In future Life With Archie storylines, life went on, and Mr. Weatherbee remained as principal of Riverdale High. However, Betty and Archie went on to become teachers at the school in their adult lives, and Betty was given Miss Grundy's old classroom, which Betty graciously accepted.

And, just to add a little plug for the company, the whole Life With Archie Magazine is a really decent read for any Archie fans out there. It comes highly recommended.

So, I'm going to wrap this entry up, as it became a lot longer than I had initially planned it to be. But I'm going to leave you with this. In order to be a good teacher (and ultimately a good leader), you have to really listen to your students, and make them eager to learn. Ultimately, you have to also be compassionate, firm when necessary, and have the drive to prepare your students for the future. Mrs. Woodfine did a fantastic job with my school years, and that's why I chose to talk about her in this blog entry. She and Miss Grundy were teachers that loved what they did, and genuinely cared about their students. As a result, they helped their students learn more than just arithmetic.


Friday, September 02, 2011

TGIF Special Edition: Those Annoying Dairy Queen Ads Over The Years

Over the past few months, we've dedicated our Friday entries to the idea of television sitcoms.  We would discuss characters in sitcoms, episodes of sitcoms, the sitcoms themselves.  Sometimes, we even did actor spotlights, such as the ones we did about Tracey Gold and Valerie Harper

That's all fine and dandy here, but what some don't realize is that advertisers can sometimes shell out huge amounts of money to sponsor these shows.  The bigger the hit show, the bigger the profits the businesses can make.  Why do you think companies go all out on commercials during Super Bowl Sunday?

So, in order to continue being entertained (especially for those of us like myself who have not yet discovered the power of TiVo), we're required to sit through a couple of 120 second commercial breaks that split up the episode into three or four smaller segments.

To be fair, some of these commercials can be quite entertaining, funny, and downright hysterical to watch.

Then there's this guy.


I'm sure that anyone who has watched at least one television program during the year 2011 has seen this dude doing wild and crazy things from setting rainbows on fire to blowing bubbles with kittens inside of them.


Try as you might, you cannot escape deep-voiced, pencil-thin mustached dude. 

Believe me, I've tried.

Yet, there's something peculiar about these commercials.  Particularly with the ones starring the guy pictured up above.  Like a horrific train wreck where puddles of chemicals spill into the ground and people stagger out of the twisted and bent passenger cars, these ads are designed so that one cannot look away.

And look away I cannot.



Dairy Queen's ad campaigns over the years have involved quite a number of people in a number of situations.  Each commercial seemed to cater to the extensive Dairy Queen menu up above from hamburgers to Blizzards.  French fries to Dilly Bars.  Onion rings to double dipped cones.  You get the picture.  Hot eats, cool treats, they treated you right.

Say...that wouldn't make a bad slogan.  In fact, I think it WAS used as a slogan for the Dairy Queen company years ago.

I can still remember back when I was a kid growing up in Ontario, Canada.  At the time, our Dairy Queen restaurant was situated on the outskirts of town, and if memory serves me, I think ours was so small that they had limited food items.  They had SOME hot food, but it was mostly the frozen treats.  And it was only open from May - October because, well, I'm Canadian, and apparently they didn't feel that Canadians wanted an ice cream treat in the middle of January.

For the record, I would have.  And now that we have a Dairy Queen that is open all year long, I can.

Back during my childhood years though, anytime I would go out to Dairy Queen for a treat, the place would always be completely packed.  Because the restaurant was only open six months a year, it almost became the norm to have to wait at least twenty minutes before being served.  Fortunately, that particular Dairy Queen had arcade games inside of it, so I played that while we waited for our ice cream.  All three of us kids went with our parents to the restaurant, and all of us usually ordered the exact same thing.  Mom would get the Dilly Bar, Dad would have the double dipped cone, the sisters would have a Blizzard and a Peanut Buster Parfait respectively.  I on the other hand always chose the Slush Puppie like drink affectionately known as a Mr. Misty (usually in flavours like cherry, raspberry, and grape).  It was a summer tradition for my family to go down at least once every two weeks to partake in some cool treats.

Back in those days, we didn't have cable television...just the basic 2-13 dial.  There may very well have been television commercials about Dairy Queen back in the day, but if there were I either didn't remember them, or they didn't air on any of the channels we got.  We just knew that Dairy Queen was the hot spot during the summer months, and whenever the opportunity came, we jumped on it.  Although, I suppose that every time I watched the cartoon 'Dennis The Menace' on television, it could have been some form of subliminal advertising, as Dennis and his friends would often be featured on the drink cups at Dairy Queen restaurants.

But those were the childhood days.

In adulthood, I only really go the Dairy Queen maybe once a year, and only if it's on a special occasion like a birthday treat, or if it's for one of those Miracle Treat Days that occur once a year.



And on Miracle Treat Days, you'd see ads much like this one, showing miracles happening in children's hospitals all across the country.  It's a touching gesture, and considering that I have done charity work for the Children's Miracle Network myself over the last three years, it's a charity that I fully support.

But for every thoughtful ad that Dairy Queen has released over the years, they have managed to come up with some real doozies that are silly, weird, creepy, sexist, and scary.

And for me to call some Dairy Queen ads scary when I am fully well aware that the Burger King mascot is so incredibly creepy that I want to throw kerosene on it and light him ablaze, you know that I mean business.

Going back to our water skiing, bubble blowing dude, I'd call his ads...silly.  A little on the weird side even.  But, I guess in some ways, the ads do get your attention.

In all honesty, I actually find some of the earlier ads to be somewhat funny...in all their weirdness.  Take this one for example.


Okay, maybe that one was a little bit too out there.  I liked it though.  Unfortunately, I can't say the same about the Flamethrower burger, as I tried one, and wasn't overly wowed by it.  Still, you have to admit that the ad campaign made you notice.

And sometimes you saw actors keep appearing in Dairy Queen commercials over and over again.  Case in point the guy in the white dress shirt in the Flamethrower ad.  The actor in this ad is one Brian Stepanek, and if you have kids or younger brothers who happen to watch the Disney channel, they could tell you that he was a cast member on 'The Suite Life Of Zack and Cody'.  But he also did at least a dozen ads for Dairy Queen restaurants throughout the 2000s.


You may have remembered the one where the company was promoting the Blizzard-mobile, or whatever the Blizzard van was.  It was to celebrate the Blizzard's 25th anniversary in 2010.  I guess the campaign was that wherever the Blizzard-mobile stopped, you needed to be ready for it, as it was giving away free mini-Blizzards.  I wouldn't know, as it never stopped in MY area, but this is what I heard.

Unfortunately for this guy and his family, the Blizzard-mobile happened to pass through while they were waiting outside a car wash for their car to get cleaned up.  So they decide to come up with the 'brilliant' plan to run through the car wash to climb into their car to chase after the Blizzard-mobile.

Yeah, that's smart.

It's a wonder none of them drowned, or got their noses rubbed off by those powerful machines, or choked on the suds and bubbles.  Then again, it would be considered bad for business if the company showed a person sacrificing their lives for a Golden Oreo Blizzard.

Hmmmm...maybe it's only in recent years that I'm thinking that Dairy Queen commercials have gone downhill.  I'm somehow reminded of a commercial that aired on television here a couple of years back...something about a guy who is bringing home a Blizzard cake for his kid's birthday.



Okay, let's dissect this commercial.  At the tail end of this commercial, we hear random announcer dude say that if you bring home a Blizzard cake, they'll love you for it.

Really?  Because I don't seem to feel the love.

I mean, I feel bad for our poor sap of a dude here.  He gets his car towed, he has to walk home, gets confronted by thugs, runs for his life, tears up and muddies his expensive suit, gets bitten by dogs (in the extended version, he gets arrested), gets caught in the rain, and looking like a derelict who has slept in an alleyway for four days comes back with the cake.  But does he even get a cup of hot tea?  A change of dry clothes?  A thank you from his loving family?

Nope.  She basically gives off the attitude that it took him long enough to get there, and the kids don't seem to be at all concerned about anything except getting that cake.  Oh, and the man may have rabies!  RABIES!  People can die from rabies!  But, no...as long as those greedy people have ice cream and chocolate to gorge themselves on, who cares whether our hero lives or dies?

If I were that man, I'd be looking for a divorce attorney while getting those life-saving rabies vaccines.

I suppose at first glance, the ad does seem like it could be funny on the surface.  And I'm sure that most of us can relate to having a day where everything that could possibly go wrong has (though certainly not to the extent of that guy).  But, at the same time, I don't really enjoy the fact that after all that, he comes home ready to collapse in pain and exhaustion and have nobody seem to care one iota for him.  At the very least, they could have offered him some cake, though after what he went through to get it, I'm not sure he'd even want to go near another Dairy Queen again.

One last disturbing point about this commercial.  How long did it take this guy to get home?  It was bright out when he left the restaurant, and pitch black by the time his ordeal ended.  Considering that a Blizzard cake is approximately 90% ice cream, are you not the least bit disturbed that during that whole time, the cake NEVER MELTED?  Maybe those DQ preservatives are a lot more potent than we think.

As if that ad wasn't disturbing enough, this one just screams borderline creepy, at least in my opinion.


Okay.  One positive thing I will say about this ad is that the Waffle Bowl sundae looks FRIGGIN' DELICIOUS!  The brownies.  The hot fudge.  The ice cream.  Hell, I'm tempted to go to DQ right now just to get one...well, if DQ still makes them that is.

Unfortunately, that's about the only positive thing that I will say about this commercial, so let's just dive into this train wreck of an ad, shall we?

Honestly at first the ad seems a little sweet...even sweeter than the delicious hot fudge and gooey toppings that drown those rich, flaky brownies...

...yeah, okay, I'll shut up now.

It's a nice gesture, or so it seems.  The mom is wanting to get a treat for her and her daughter, and she settles on ordering them both those...ahem...sundaes which shall not be named.

But wait!  The daughter only wants her to buy one!  The mother is confused, but she seems to be happy.  Maybe sharing a sundae will bond the mother and daughter even closer.  Maybe the daughter has heard that money is tight, and that by only having one sundae, then the mother will have more money to spend on...something else, whatever it is. 

What the mother doesn't seem to notice is the daughter making google-eyes at the boy.  It almost seemed like she was...flirting with him.  But, that's crazy talk right?  Eleven year olds don't know how to flirt.  When I was eleven, I don't even think I knew what flirting was!

So we rejoin our mother, pleased at her daughter's sudden belief in sharing and caring and making sure that everyone is happy no matter what.  Well, sorry to burst her kitten-filled bubble, but the real cat's meow is that our princess at the 'Queen' simply doesn't like to share.  She had absolutely no intention of sharing any sort of delicious Dairy Queen treat with her mother, her father, her siblings, the guy running outside in the business suit chasing some tow truck, the president of the United States, or anyone else.  She wanted her sundae all to herself.  But she couldn't just take her mom's sundae.  Nor did her mother order an extra one.  So, what could she do?  Look in the booth for loose change?  Knock out all her teeth in hopes that the tooth fairy would loan her enough for a sundae?

Cue random teenaged Dairy Queen slave worker, armed with an identical sundae, similar to the one her mom was eating.  It was a gift.  Compliments of the man in the donkey shirt.

Okay, seriously...donkey shirt?  Maybe he meant Donkey KONG shirt?  Yeah...maybe that's it.

The girl coyly smiles at the boy, and then smiles a rather evil smile and says 'It's like shooting fish in a barrel'.

Okay, are you kidding me here?

SHE'S ELEVEN!  How many eleven year olds do you know do this?  I know I don't know too many.  Hell, when I was eleven, I still thought girls had cooties.

If these were college students or adults, the humour would translate a bit better (though, in my opinion it still wouldn't make it right).  Or if that girl didn't say the shooting fish in a barrel line at the end, it might've ended up being a really cute commercial.  Instead, it brings forth a rather superficial message of entitlement just because one looks pretty or flutters their eyelashes as some male who would empty out his bank account in an attempt to impress her.  It's bad enough using adults to bring forth a message like that, but using children to promote that message is kind of classless and tacky.

Of course that could merely be my opinion, and I may very well be blowing it out of proportion, and some of you may actually find these ads funny.  What do you all think?

Hmmm...maybe after reviewing those last couple of ads...maybe bubble-blowing man isn't so bad after all.