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Sunday, January 08, 2012

Elvis Presley - By The Numbers

I have always had a bit of a fascination with numbers.

Yeah, yeah...I know.  The person who absolutely hated math to the point where I almost flunked out of it in high school having a fascination with numbers.  Seems a bit ironic, doesn't it?

The truth of the matter is that when I'm not required to add them up, divide them up, or find the square root of them, I'm perfectly okay with numbers.

Without numbers, you wouldn't know how to tell time, or how warm it is going to be outside, or even what date it is.

(It's January 8, by the way.  Just so you know.)

Numbers can also be used to make bullet points in certain documents.  You can use numbers to make a list, or to put something in order, or to emphasize a fact.

Numbers are great things to use.

In fact, I think that for today's blog entry, I'm going to start off by naming the subject of the blog, and then using a few numbers to talk about some of the accomplishments that he made, as well as some personal tidbits about his life and times.



Our blog subject for today is the one and only, Elvis Presley.  And, going from the first number I will be posting, you'll see why I decided to do today's blog on him.

77 - The age that Elvis Presley would be today had he lived.  He was born seventy-seven years ago today on January 8, 1935 in Tupelo, Mississippi.



42 - The age that Elvis Presley was when he passed away on August 16, 1977, from cardiac arrest.  Although it was well known that Presley was suffering from serious health issues at least three years prior, it has been said that these health issues were linked to a prescription drug addiction.



80,000 - The estimated number of people who stood outside of Graceland (Elvis' home) on August 18, 1977, when Elvis' funeral took place.

1956 - The year Elvis Presley first had a single chart on Billboard.  That single was "Heartbreak Hotel", and it coincidentally became Elvis' first number one single.

18 - The amount of #1 hits that Elvis Presley had during his career on the Billboard Top 100 Charts, setting a record for the musical artist with the most Billboard #1 hits of all time.  The record remained for years until Mariah Carey tied it in 2008 with 'Touch My Body'.

37 - The number of Top 10 hits that Elvis Presley had during his career. 

1 - The number of wives he had (he was married to Priscilla Beaulieu from 1967-1973), as well as the number of children he had (daughter Lisa Marie was born in February 1968).

1982 - The year Graceland was opened up to the public.  It is now the second most visited house in all of America, being declared a historical landmark in 2006.

2002 - A remixed version of the song 'A Little Less Conversation' was released this year, making it one of the last singles that Elvis Presley would have on the pop charts, released 25 years after his death!

33 - The number of feature films Elvis Presley would appear in during his lifetime.  Most of these films were released during the 1960s.

14 - The number of Grammy Awards that Elvis Presley was nominated for.  He eventually ended up winning three.

36 - The age Elvis Presley was when he won the Lifetime Achievement Award in Grammy form in 1971.



1.5 BILLION - The estimated worldwide viewing audience watching his 'Aloha From Hawaii' concert, the first concert to be transmitted globally via satellite.

That's quite a lot of numbers, isn't it?  But those numbers were significant for Elvis Presley.  Some numbers had happy, successful meanings to them, while others were a sad reminder of someone dying far too young.

There's one final number that I wish to share with you though, and it links to the song I've chosen for the Sunday Jukebox for this week.

1972 - The year that Elvis Presley scored his FINAL Top 10 hit on the Billboard Music Charts.

And, just what was this hit?



ARTIST:  Elvis Presley
SONG:  Burning Love
ALBUM:  Burning Love And Hits From His Movies, Volume 2
DATE RELEASED:  August 1, 1972
PEAK POSITION ON THE BILLBOARD CHARTS: #2

Now, the song Burning Love came at a time in which Elvis Presley was undergoing a bit of a renaissance in his career.

As most of us know, Elvis Presley took over the world by storm when his music began charting in 1956.  During the late 1950s, Elvis' music stood out amongst the crowd, and he made young women drool with anticipation over what he would do next.

Mind you, other singers have had fans fall in love with them at first sight.  The Beatles, Shaun Cassidy, The New Kids On The Block, The Backstreet Boys, Justin Timberlake, and Justin Bieber are prime examples of this.

But Presley did it first.  And, Presley's attitude and performances and gyrating hips caused quite a commotion when he first showed off his act.  In fact, his performance on the Milton Berle show caused quite the controversy when people complained that Elvis and his pelvis were inappropriate for television.

If only they knew what would eventually pass as 'wholesome' television just fifty-six years later...

...but, anyway, during the late 1950s and early 1960s, Elvis was the 'it-boy' of popular music, and between his singles and his movies, he was definitely a household name.  But by the mid 1960s, his popularity was starting to dwindle, and the well of creative genius was going dry.  While the late 1960s brought Elvis a wife and a child, creatively, he was almost at the point of hitting rock bottom.  He went several years without scoring a top 10 hit, and he was beginning to get jaded with the whole idea of music.

So, Elvis decided to try his hand on something that he hadn't done since 1960.

A national television special.



Through the encouragement of his long-standing agent Colonel Tom Parker, Presley agreed to film a television special for NBC to air during the 1968 Christmas season.  That special would eventually air on December 3, 1968, and was simply titled Elvis (though over time, it would have the subtitle of Elvis:  The '68 Comeback Special.  The show was NBC's highest rated show of that season, and it attracted a huge audience (reportedly 42% of the total viewing audience watched the Elvis Comeback Special when it first aired).



It also did wonders for his music career, as he was back on the charts with his highest charting singles in all the late 1960s.  The resulting soundtrack album made it to the Top 10 Album charts in 1969.

And this leads us to 'Burning Love'.  Elvis' last top 10 hit.  Peaking at #2, being held off by Chuck Berry's single 'My Ding-A-Ling'.

Ouch.



Here's a bit of a stunner for all of you.  Despite the fact that Burning Love was a huge hit for Presley, Presley himself wasn't keen on the song.  According to the 1982 biography, 'Elvis: The Illustrated Record', Elvis didn't feel comfortable performing the song at all.  Nevertheless, the song received huge airplay, and was one of the songs featured in the 1972 concert film 'Elvis On Tour'.  It was also prominently featured during Elvis' 'Aloha From Hawaii' concert of 1973.  It is also one of Elvis' final rock songs ever released (as during the 1970s, Elvis had mostly released ballads).

And, why did I decide to feature this song, when there were so many to choose from?  Two reasons.  First, it's probably one of my personal all-time favourite Elvis songs.  At least on my top five list.

And secondly?  This song is also tied into tomorrow's Monday Matinee.

You'll just have to wait until tomorrow to figure out what that movie is.  But here's one hint for you to chew on.  This particular movie celebrates its 10th anniversary this year.

See if you can figure it out before tomorrow.  :)

Saturday, January 07, 2012

Double Dare!

I dare you.  Go on.  I really mean it.  I DARE YOU!



Yeah, well...I DOUBLE DARE YOU!

I TRIPLE DARE YOU!

I sometimes chuckle over some of the stupid, ill-thought out dares that we all seemed to be tempted with in our youth.  I mean it, some of those dares that we were faced with were incredibly foolish and probably could have gotten us killed had the slightest thing gone wrong.

The funny thing is that these dares were handled in completely different ways, and I think it all had to do with what gender one was.

Not that I would know anything about what happens at slumber parties hosted by eleven year old girls or anything, but one popular game that seems to top the list of any entertainment suggestions for these slumber parties is the classic getting to know you game known as 'Truth Or Dare'.

Now, there's always the option for people to tell the truth about themselves, but I can only imagine that most would probably take the dare option.  Because I think most kids probably had the idea that squirting shaving cream down the front of a pajama top would be less of a social faux pas than having a secret spread through school as a result of someone choosing the 'truth' option.

Or, whatever dares eleven year old girls come up with during slumber parties.  Do girls even HAVE slumber parties anymore?

But those were girls.  If you were a boy, like I was, our dares could be much more crazy, wild, and just plain stupid in comparison.

What was worse would be the so called 'Double Dares'.  As if a dare wasn't...well...daring enough, 'Double Dares' were the kings of all dares.  If one were to accomplish a 'Double Dare', they would have the absolute respect of everyone else who was around to witness the dare.

Only in 99.9% of all cases where someone is asked to perform a 'Double Dare', there usually aren't any witnesses as the gutless wonders tend to make themselves scarce, and before you know it, you're standing in the middle of a school cafeteria weraring only your underwear and a touque.

(No, the above situation did NOT happen to me...just describing a possible scenario one might find themselves in by performing a 'Double Dare'.)


Truth be told, I never really got into the whole idea of taking dares.  Truthfully, the only dare I took part in where I got in trouble was back in kindergarten.  I was dared by a classmate of mine to take every single puzzle on the puzzle table and pour them all out into the box with all the blocks inside of them.

Guess who got ratted out to the teacher by the one who dared me to do it in the first place?  And guess who spent the whole playtime hour putting EVERY puzzle back together again?


Oh, I was angry.  But, you know, it WAS my doing, so I took the punishment like a...boy.  I got my revenge though.  The very next day, I tried to bury the kid in the sandbox.  I got in trouble yet again, but that time was worth every grain of sand I used!

I swear, I usually don't advocate revenge in my adult life, but back when I was five years old, it was every boy for themselves!

But you know, all this talk about 'Double Dares' got me thinking about a children's game show that used to air on Nickelodeon years ago...a little over 25 years ago, to be exact.  It was a show that like those childhood days of daring classmates to do silly things for fun, teams of two would compete against each other to answer trivia questions and perform stunts that were usually messy and gross.

As it so happens, the name of the show also happens to be the title of this blog post.



The game show 'Double Dare' is the subject of this blog entry.



Premiering on the then-fledgling cable network, Nickelodeon, on October 6, 1986, 'Double Dare' was a game show hosted by Marc Summers.  Yet, this blogger admits that he had never seen an episode of 'Double Dare' until YouTube came around.  Why was this?  Because our cable package that we subscribed to back in those days never carried Nickelodeon, so I missed out on the whole 'Double Dare' experience the first time around.  It didn't really matter too much back then, as we did have the similar show 'Fun House' that aired roughly around the same time.

The more that I watch it now though, the more I realize that I missed out.

The fact that Geoffrey Darby was listed as one of the creators of the program should have been a good sign that the show would be a good one.  Darby also was a key player behind the scenes of 'You Can't Do That On Television', which was one of my all-time favourite television shows.



And just like 'You Can't Do That On Television', the show 'Double Dare' thrived on its messiness.  And considering that host Marc Summers was battling symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorder during the filming of the show, the fact that Marc often dove right into the messy stunts himself says a lot about how committed he was to the show as host!

So, before I go on, why don't I post a link to a classic Double Dare episode.  This was an episode that aired 25 years ago, in the year 1987.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4lBk82lp4N0

So, as you can see, the show launches straight into a challenge between two teams (one in red, one in blue).  It wouldn't be a very hard challenge.  It usually was something like undressing out of a bulky costume, or popping as many balloons as you could (which I'll admit to muting the sound out during that segment).  The winning team would win a cash prize which would count towards their total.

The game would then begin.  The host would ask a trivia question in a variety of subjects.  In most cases, the questions would be easy.  If they got it right, more money would be added to the team's total.  If there was a question that stumped them, and they had the belief that the question was one that the other team wouldn't know either, that team could dare the other team to answer the question for double the money.  But, there was a risk involved with that.  The team could 'Double Dare' the team right back for four times the original dollar amount.  And then the team would be forced to either answer the question, or perform a physical stunt for the money.  Regardless of what decision was made, if they win, they win the money.  They lose, they lose the money.  It was just that simple.



Of course, most people would agree that the physical stunts made it more fun to watch than listening to people answer trivia questions.

At the end of two rounds, the cash totals were tallied up, and the team that had the highest total would go to the bonus round, which was a gigantic obstacle course that was filled with disgusting and messy stunts.  The course would have eight sections to them, and each team had to complete the course in sixty seconds or less.  So, each obstacle roughly had to be completed in seven and a half seconds.  It could be done though.  All teams had to do was find the hidden flag in each section.  If the team could grab all eight flags, they would win the grand prize, which was usually some sort of vacation.  But there were smaller prizes for completing each individual obstacle, plus the money that was won earlier in the game.

In short, you could win quite the treasure trove of goodies!

The show became a huge hit for Nickelodeon.  By 1987, Nickelodeon's viewership tripled as a result of the show, and a couple of successful spin-offs were released as a result.

In 1987, 'Double Dare' became Super Sloppy Double Dare, which played out just like the regular version, only with bigger prizes and even sloppier stunts!  Check out this obstacle course from 1989 to see what I mean!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBRw2HnLfMk&feature=related


And in 1988, a version known as 'Family Double Dare' began airing, and this version was one where families would compete against each other for cash and prizes.  And, here's an episode from 1992.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q9_Ii3AvqBc


Sadly, all good things had to come to an end, and the Double Dare franchise wrapped up for good in 1993 after a seven-year-run...

...or DID it?

In January 2000, the show was revived on Nickelodeon.  Although the host had changed (Jason Harris was the host of the new show), Marc Summers remained on the program as a creative consultant.  Although the show was more or less the same as the original version (even recycling some of the obstacles from the 1980s run), it did provide fans of a new generation a chance to take part and watch what the generation before them had.  Sadly, this new version didn't have as much staying power, only running until November of the same year.  But, just for reference, here's an episode of Double Dare 2000 for your viewing pleasure.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FXGZv79apkk


You know though...I know that Marc Summers is 60 years old now, and is busy with his Unwrapped show on the Food Network, but you know, Double Dare celebrated its 25th anniversary in October 2011.  I don't know about you, but I wouldn't mind seeing another revival.  Heck, I'd be happy if the Game Show Network aired the reruns of the old shows.  After all, I did miss the original run.

Friday, January 06, 2012

The Curious Case Of Brian Griffin

I’ve done quite a few entries on prime-time sitcoms over the history of the TGIF theme day.  Many of these sitcoms have aired on Fridays, and many have not.  Some have only had a cast of two people.  Others, dozens. 

Some of the sitcoms I've featured have been from animated programs that have aired in prime-time.  I know that I've done quite a few entries about The Simpsons.  I talked about The Simpsons in my very first blog posting here, and have brought The Simpsons up in a lot during the history of this blog.

And, why wouldn't I?  The Simpsons have been on for almost 25 years!

But, you know, one of my New Years goals was to bring up new topics and look back on some shows that I had not done at all, or merely glanced over in reference to another topic that I wanted to do my blog on,  And, the more I looked back, the more I realized that I have more or less ignored another successful animated cartoon series.  A cartoon series that some may say surpasses The Simpsons in humour and quality.  Of course, there's some people who say that this show is an abomination to society and should be pulled from the air immediately.  But, you know, I don't believe in censorship.  It certainly isn't appropriate for all audiences, true enough, but it's really up to parents to set those limits themselves, not the networks.

But when it seems today, that all you see, is violence in movies and sex on TV.  So where are all of those good old-fashioned values on which we used to rely?



Lucky there's a Family Guy!  Lucky there's a man who positively can do all the things that make us laugh and cry!  He's.  A.  Family.  Guy!!!

Okay, okay, I couldn't resist THAT one. 



Family Guy (created by Seth MacFarlane), is a show that has aired on FOX since 1999, but not consecutively.  Would you believe that the show was actually cancelled TWICE in its 13-year-history?  It was cancelled once in 2000, and once more in 2002. 

Why was this the case? 

Well, part of it had to do with scheduling.  During its earliest seasons, the show aired against some heavyweights.  Originally, the show debuted on Sundays (the first episode aired January 31, 1999 following the Super Bowl), but when the show was renewed for a second season, the show was moved to a Thursday time slot.  This proved to be a challenge as it was up against both Frasier and Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, both of which were wildly popular.  Later on in the year, the show changed time slots from 9pm to 8pm Thursdays, putting it up against Survivor and Friends.  The low ratings caused the show to bounce around all over the place during the 2001/02 season, and it was officially cancelled in May 2002.

Of course, some people also believe that the show's raucous and sometimes offensive and biting humour and jokes may have lead to the show initially meeting its demise on network television.  It was widely believed that the 2001/02 season would end up being the final one, and no new episodes were made during 2003 and 2004 as a result.

But then something funny happened. 



When the Cartoon Network purchased all the rights to Family Guy, it began to air the show during its 'Adult Swim' block, beginning on April 20, 2003.  That move proved to be a huge success for the channel, with the channel seeing increased viewership upwards of 239% during the time slot that Family Guy aired in.  Around this time, the decision was made to release the first two seasons of Family Guy in DVD boxsets, which proved to be another major success.  During its first month on the market, the Family Guy DVD's sold an impressive 400,000 copies, and by the end of 2003, reached sales of over two million copies.  After the release of season three of the series, FOX had an immediate change of heart regarding the series, and by 2004, work began on thirty-five brand new episodes of the series.  After a three year hiatus, Family Guy returned to FOX in May 2005, where it has remained ever since.

This was the first instance of how DVD sales helped revive a cancelled series.  And since Family Guy was brought back to the airwaves, Seth MacFarlane has been a busy beaver with Family Guy, American Dad, and The Cleveland Show (all three airing on FOX alongside The Simpsons).

Now that you know a little bit about the show, let's just select a member of the Griffin family at random to do a case study on.

Well, okay, maybe not QUITE at random...

Today's subject is the family dog of the Griffin family, and there's one main reason why I chose him.



Because other than Meg Griffin (who I can identify with somewhat), Brian is almost like a carbon copy of the person who I ended up becoming.

Well, minus the tail, and all the fur.  Although I am kinda fuzzy...and well, I think that's a bit of information that you needed to know.



But here's something else that you should know.  Brian is voiced by Seth MacFarlane, who also does the voices of Peter Griffin, Stewie Griffin, and Glenn Quagmire (which explains the error in the picture above).  But when you hear Brian talking, you're actually hearing the real honest voice of MacFarlane.  There's your voice actor trivia of the day.

Now Brian is a bit of an enigma of a character, and there's a lot to say about him.  For one, he seems to be the most level-headed and intelligent out of all of the Griffin family, and the family doesn't seem to be the least bit fazed over the fact that they happen to carry on long-term conversations with a dog.

But as well put together and polished Brian appears to be, he has his demons that live inside of him.  He has a hankering for the odd martini, and while he knows his limit most of the time, whenever he does go off the wagon, his behaviour can get highly unpredicatable.  If memory serves me, I think Brian drunkenly cut off Stewie's ear in one episode.  Or, was it the other way around?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UywbKNiP7YM

Oh, yeah...that's right...he cut off his OWN ear.  My bad.  I could have sworn that Brian was linked to an ear injury sustained by Stewie though...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IE_XrZzdZZQ

Oh, that's right...Brian drunkenly tried to pierce Stewie's ear.

But, that's what I mean about Brian's unpredictability when it comes to being under the influence of drugs and alcohol.  One of the reasons why I don't do the drug thing at all, or drink much alcohol is because I fear that I too might exhibit some of that same unpredictability.  Mind you, I doubt I would pierce the ear of a toddler, but you can't say for sure, right?

Another aspect of Brian's personality that seems to resonate with me is the fact that we've both had to deal with someone who could be considered a frenemy.  You know that kid who would suck up to you at recess just so they could share your Decadent Chocolate Chip Cookies (a really yummy Canadian brand cookie), and then once recess was over told you to get bent?  Yeah, I knew quite a few 'friends' like that in my life and times.  Needless to say, those people are no longer friends.



In Brian's case, his biggest frenemy is Stewie.  Anyone who has ever watched an episode of Family Guy knows that Brian and Stewie have gotten in some rather intense battles.  Battles such as this one.

Yeah, watching that clip, it makes me wonder how Brian managed to survive!  And, happily, I can report that none of my frenemies ever caused me that much bodily harm.

But there are also times in which the relationship between Brian and Stewie can be somewhat on the sweet side as well.



Ah, maybe they both just like inflicting pain on each other.

But now we come to the two main comparisons that seem to fit both Brian Griffin and myself.  One that really makes us cut from the same cloth.  And with the other one, until recently, I probably would have completely denied that this was the case.

Let's get the first one out of the way.  Brian and I are both writers looking to make a break in the world through our words.  And, well, neither one of us have had much success.  I do enjoy writing this blog and several other projects that I've worked on over the years.  I certainly have had the ambition to be a successful writer since I was in high school.  But as far as getting anything officially published, I've only managed a few articles in a college newspaper.

Brian HAS had work published.  In one episode, he even wrote a book entitled 'Faster Than The Speed Of Love'.  Unfortunately, it was so trashed by critics that nobody bought the book once it hit the shelves.  I imagine that for Brian, the sting of rejection would be incredibly painful, especially when the thing being rejected comes from your heart.  Believe me, I've known the sting of rejection many times before.  It isn't a fun experience to carry with you.

Even more destructive to a person's self-esteem and self-respect is getting rejected by someone you love.  And, yep...Brian and I share that in common.

In fact, I'll just come right out and say it.  Brian and I have serious relationship issues.  And while I hate admitting this, in both our cases, it is our own fault.

I know that I'd love to be able to get involved in a relationship one day.  But in order for me to fully commit myself to one, I have to bring everything I can into it.  With years of self-loathing, I don't know if I'm quite at that stage yet...and I really don't want to think of all of the opportunities that I might have missed out on as a result of this.  But, you know, I'm trying my best not to blame myself that much.  They do say that everything does happen for a reason.  We might not be able to understand what that reason is right away.  We may not even know what the reason was twenty years after it happened.  But, I always say that if it is meant to be, it can and will happen.  I just haven't had that lucky kiss from fate yet.  Or, rather, I don't know how to make my own fate happen.  I'll keep you posted, how's that?

Besides, Brian's definitely got it much worse than I do, because Brian is what you call a stubborn perfectionist.  Whenever he gets involved in a relationship, he pretty much expects the partner to be his equal.  In everything.  Which could explain why his relationship with the stereotypical dumb blonde Jillian (voiced by Drew Barrymore) didn't last. 



But to be fair, I highly doubt that I could see myself being very happy with a Jillian type character either.  Drew Barrymore, yes.  Jillian, no.

In fact, Brian's had bad luck with women in general.  He even got one woman pregnant (and for the life of me don't ask me to explain how a dog could sleep with a woman and have the woman give birth to a human baby, because I failed biology in high school, and even then I think it's an impossibility), and the woman transformed from beauty queen to trailer park trash in the course of a decade and a half!  He's also gone on 'The Bachelorette' to find love, developed a serious friendship with an elderly jingle singer which ended when she got hit by a bus, and even dated reality television star Lauren Conrad.  And, yet, all of these relationships ended the same way...with a broken heart on Brian's end.

Why? 

Well, in the case of the jingle singer, it was a freak accident.  For everyone else, I think it was because Brian was incredibly insecure in himself.  The reason he scared all the women off was because he couldn't see that he was a decent enough guy just being the way he was.  He either tried too hard, or tried too little to keep the relationships going.  In fact, in a couple of instances, I do believe that he ended up sabotaging the relationships by picking the women apart, finding one bad quality that they had and magnifying it to epic proportions, just so Brian could have an excuse to run away from what could have been a great union.

I guess in some ways, I can understand why Brian did this, because I think I may have done the same.  And, I think it probably takes a lot of courage for me to admit to that.

Wow...who knew that this would become a FRIDAY confessional.  Just proof positive that you never know what might come up during a blog topic, huh?

At the same time, I'm glad I did get it out there, if only to share the life lesson that BEING YOURSELF is best.  And while it is understandable for people to feel a little insecure about themselves, they really shouldn't let it take over their whole lives, because if they do, they could be missing out on some really great opportunities.

It's a life lesson that I myself still continue to learn.  And maybe one day, I'll finally get it.  Of course, it might make for a rather dull blog in the future...but what the hell.  I'll take that chance, and take it happily.

Thursday, January 05, 2012

The Awkward Moment When Dogs Think You're A Pork Chop

Hello, everybody, and welcome to the first instalment of the new theme day I like to call the ‘Thursday Confessional’!

Ah, but what is the Thursday Confessional?  Well, it is a chance for all of you readers to get to know me just a little bit better.  I know over the course of a few months, we've had fun discussing pop culture of yore, but it's dawned on me that maybe I should actually use this blog to blog about...well...my hopes, dreams, and fears.  I thought that I would use Thursdays to talk about the achievements I've made.  The mistakes I've made.  The funny happenings that make me, well...me. 

Basically, I'll be doing what many other bloggers have done.  Talk about me...but with a little less bragging, a little more self-deprecating humour, and a lot of laughs.

Well, hopefully.

And, I have the perfect first confession that I will share with all of you to kick off this third of three new theme days for 2012.  Although given the title of this blog entry, I think most of you will probably get the gist of it all.





THURSDAY CONFESSION #1:  I used to be afraid of dogs because nearly every single one I encountered tried to eat me.

Or, rather, that was the opinion that I had conjured up in my childhood anyway.

Do I still think this way though?  Well, I'll get to that in a minute.

I know what you're thinking.  How could anyone be afraid of dogs?  They're loyal, they're playful, they love to give affection to their owners.  They're called 'Man's Best Friend' for a reason, after all.

That may very well be true in the majority of cases, but my fear of canines stemmed from several incidents that happened to me over the course of my childhood, and for many years soured my opinion on dogs in general, I'm sorry to say.






After all...the title of the blog is "The Awkward Moment When Dogs Think You're A Pork Chop!"

Incident number one actually happened when I was at an age where I was too young to remember what had actually happened.  When I was a year old, my family owned a dog.  I think his name was Cheemo, or something similar.  Don't ask me how to spell it, because I have no idea how it was spelled...I just wrote it down phoenetically as it was pronounced.  Anyway, I don't remember this incident at all, but my parents said that one of the reasons why they had to send the dog away was because it tried to bite me in the face.  I can't say for sure, as I was a year old, but I do have a small scar next to my eye from right around that time.  It did happen almot 30 years ago, so everyone's memories could be a bit hazy.  But, if it did happen the way that it had, it would probably be the trigger behind my longtime fear of dogs.

Incident number two lasted a grand total of about seven years.  Yes, you heard me right, I said seven years.  You see, in the mid-1980s, my family moved into a house where we stayed for fourteen years.  The house number of my family home was number eleven.  For the first seven years of living there, the family across the street at house fourteen owned a dog named Sparky.





No, not that Sparky.  The Sparky above was the fire safety mascot thousands of children my age learned from.  He was a GOOD dog.

This Sparky was the demon dog from hell.





Do you want to know how terrible this dog was?  He was one mean, nasty dog.  For one, his owners never kept him chained up that often.  It wasn't unusual for the dog to be running around loose on the street.  What I remember even worse was that the family at number fourteen had two children who I could only describe as being the chilling, evil children of Satan himself, who took great pleasure in sending Sparky across the street to number eleven where he would treat me as if I were a five foot tall chew toy!  It was not a fun experience to be mauled by a dog once a month for seven years straight.  It got to the point where I had to make serious detours around my house in order to avoid the demon dog...even walking a block away to a different street so I wouldn't be attacked by demon dog.  Oh, I hated that nasty piece of work.

When Sparky was FINALLY put down in 1994...I never shed one tear.  In fact, the thirteen-year-old me probably threw a celebratory party regarding the whole thing.  Was it cruel?  Maybe on the surface.  But if anyone had known how much trauma that evil dog inflicted on not just myself but other neighbourhood children, maybe they'd understand.

Incident number three came about ten years after Sparky met his unfortunate demise.  My oldest sister thought it would be a great idea to adopt two dogs to bring home to live with her and her family.  Due to some plumbing problems which eventually lead to having to find a new place to live, I was living at my sister's home at the time.  So, I ended up spending a few months with these dogs.

One of the dogs was named Willie.  The other one was named...

...SPARKY...


...yes, there's just something about dogs named Sparky that strikes fear into my own heart.  I should have known that a dog with that name would be nothing but trouble.





And sure enough, Sparky mistook me for being a life-size version of dinner, and he promptly bit me square on the back of my leg.  Luckily, it didn't leave that bad of a mark on my leg...just a bruise and a couple of teeth impressions.  But, I was now convinced that there was a doggie afterlife and that the ghost of that evil demon dog, Sparky was reincarnated into this beast!

Can you tell that I much preferred the company of cats instead?

So, yes, I'm sure that given all of the drama that I have had regarding dogs that have passed through my life, the fear that I developed of them can be understood.

But a funny thing happened along the way.  When I look back on all of my experiences with dogs, it really wasn't the dog's fault.  To tell you the truth, if any of the dogs acted badly, it was because someone made them act that way.

Let's take a look back at the first incident that happened with our family dog attacking me while I was a toddler.  There was one little detail that I left out in regards to what provoked the attack.  You see, when I was a little kid, I was a very grabby kid.  Whatever I spied my eye on, I wanted to grab...including Cheemo's tail.  And according to my parents, when I tugged on the tail, he responded by trying to bite off my face.  Mind you, that wasn't the sole reason why my family decided to get rid of the dog.  Cheemo had been acting up for weeks prior anyway.  But my tugging on the tail probably didn't help matters much.  Of course, I was barely a year old at the time.  I didn't know any better.





In the case of Sparky, the demon dog from number 14, I now realize that the reason why Sparky was such a meanie was because the family that owned him treated him terribly.  Instead of playing with him, and treating him nicely, they largely ignored him.  When they did spend time with the dog, they forced him to attack other people as a kind of joke.  Although I never found any proof to confirm that it was true, it wouldn't have surprised me if I knew that the people across the street abused their dog.  It probably ended up turning so mean because he had been treated cruelly himself by his masters.  I guess looking back on it, if that were the case, I have to feel a little sorry for the little guy...even if he did mistake my leg as being a gigantic ham hock.

Sparky II was likely another case of a dog being neglected or abused by a previous owner.  In the case of Sparky II, I think it was more of a lack of understanding over how to train and teach the dog right from wrong.  Which once again lead to me being mistaken for the main course of a doggie meal.

So, I guess the lesson that I learned about myself from this confession is that not all dogs want to make a meal out of you willingly.  And if they do, in most cases it was because someone else made them that way.

Over the years, I've had some bad luck with dogs, but there were some good ones in my life too.  There was a neighbourhood dog named Taffy who used to come over and visit.  Granted, the only reason he was there was for a snack or a handout, but luckily she didn't have an appetite for human flesh.  A sausage or a hot dog later, and she was on her way back home for another week.  Very cute dog though.  And my two nephews have both owned some really sweet, lovable dogs over the years...and some chickens, a goose, and other fine creatures!

More recently, my eldest sister (the one who adopted Willie and Sparky II for all of a few months) bought my niece and nephew another dog named Yoda.  And, well, I happen to like Yoda a lot.  Yeah, he barks a lot, but he was a lot more friendlier than the other two dogs they had before.

That said, I'll admit that I still have a little apprehension about dogs in general, just based on what my past experiences are.  Will I likely own a dog as a pet in the future?  It's hard to say.  But, let's just say that I'm a lot more open to the idea than I was before. 

I guess you can say that's progress.  Wouldn't you?

Wednesday, January 04, 2012

Jacob Two-Two Meets The Hooded Fang

Sometimes, it sucks to be the ‘baby of the family’.

It's especially frustrating when your age happens to be significantly younger than that of your loved ones.

In the case of this blogger, he happened to grow up in a family where his siblings were at least a decade older than he was.  On one hand, both of the were out of the house by the time I was eleven.  On the other hand, it was frustrating not to have someone close to you in age to hang around with.

It wasn't really until I started school that I realized that my family was a bit unique compared to other kids in my class.  I was in third grade when the realization that I was the only kid in the class who had a sister in her early twenties.  Everyone else in the class had siblings that were at the most, three years older or younger.  And you know, in some way, I sort of resented the fact that I didn't have a brother or a sister who was close to me in age.  Mind you, siblings who ARE close in age likely have more rivalries present (or so I have heard anyways), but I still wanted that experience to have a sibling who I could grow up alongside.  I know it sounds silly to admit it, but when I was a kid, I always resented my parents for spacing us all out the way they had.

I'll admit that I no longer feel this way now.  But, back then, it bothered me a bit.

You want to know what else bothered me?  Being the youngest.

I would have loved to have had a younger brother or a sister.  I know they say that being the youngest child can be a blessing, and yes, I'll readily admit that it does have its perks.  However, I think almost all of us who are youngest children have had some sort of fantasy of becoming an older sibling.  It gives us the chance to be a positive influence to someone younger than we are.  And the feeling that one gets in being someone that someone else looks up to must give them a nice, warm, fuzzy feeling.

Ah, who are we kidding here!  Let's just be up front right here, right now.  The only reason why some of us wanted a younger sibling was to make them do our every bid, favour, and whim imaginable!

(And yes, I see some of you snickering and nodding in agreement here,)

I'll admit it.  Sometimes I fell to the mercy of my two older sisters, and yes, sometimes I felt as though I was nothing more than their own personal errand boy.  If they wanted a soda, guess who got it for them?  If they wanted the newspaper, guess who got it for them?  If they wanted a snack that didn't involve cooking it...well, yeah, you get the idea.

Do I wish I had stood up for myself more?  Not really.  I know that neither of them were being malicious or cruel in their requests.  If they had, it would have not gone on, I will tell you that much.  At the same time, it did get sort of annoying after a while.  Of course, sometimes, I wished that I had a younger brother or sister who I could make do errands and fetch me sodas.  Of course, I wouldn't be a tyrant about it.  I just wanted to have the same experiences that my older siblings did.

It never came to be though.

So, how does that little story tie in with today's blog entry?  It's really very simple.  The subject of this blog, like myself, was the youngest child in the family.  Like myself, he had older siblings who treated him somewhat the same way that my older siblings acted towards me in my childhood.  In fact, I actually think that they may have treated him a lot worse than my siblings ever did with me.  Of course, it's all speculation at this point in time. 

Unlike myself, a simple errand that the title character is asked to do ends up becoming a whirlwind adventure, where the character learns a little bit about himself, and where the place he ends up is much worse than living in a home with four older siblings who act as if he's a non-entity.





And I can't think of a better way to kick off the first edition of the Wednesday Gift Shop Grab Bag section than with this beloved classic book.





Have you ever heard of a boy named Jacob Two-Two?  No?  Well, he just happens to be the star of a few novels written by Canadian author Mordecai Richler.  Jacob Two-Two was one of the many characters he had created.  The character is said to have been inspired by Richler's youngest son, Jacob Richler.

In third grade, my teacher, Mr. Porter, would often select books to read in class, and then after the books were read, we'd do classroom activities and independent studies based on the books he read in class.  To my knowledge, I had never known Mr. Porter selecting a terrible book.  I truly enjoyed every book that he had picked for us to study in class. 

One of the books was the 1975 novel, 'Jacob Two-Two Meets The Hooded Fang'.  And, I loved it!  I loved it so much that when the Scholastic Book Clubs offered the book for sale one year, I bought it for nostalgic purposes.





The book starred the title character, Jacob Two-Two.  He was two plus two plus two years old.  He had two parents, two older brothers (Daniel & Noah), and two older sisters (Emma & Marfa).

Oh, and the reason why he was called Jacob Two-Two?  He said everything twice!  He said everything twice!

Oh, sorry...had a Jacob Two-Two moment there.

So, anyway, Jacob Two-Two had a bit of a quandary.  Because he was the youngest one in the family, he wanted to be a contributing member of the household.  He tried so hard to be heard (in fact, one of the reasons why he started to repeat his sentences was due to the fact that his family often tuned him out the first time), but often it went to no avail.

His relationship with his parents is pleasant enough, but Jacob sometimes feels as if they baby him too much, not letting him do any of the things that his older siblings did, frustrating him a lot.  Believe me when I tell you that I shared Jacob's frustration for many, many years!


Then there's the relationship that he has with each of his siblings.  He liked Marfa well enough, but sometimes found her a bit vain and self-absorbed.  He always saw Daniel as the very definition of the word 'cool', but sometimes treated him as if he was a nuisance.

Then there were Emma and Noah.  Fraternal twins.  They watched wrestling on television, they both loved reading books, and they even had their own superhero identities.  Emma was the 'Intrepid Shapiro', Noah, 'Fearless O'Toole'.

Oh, and they were the ones who were nastiest to Jacob Two-Two.

One day, Jacob Two-Two decides that he wants more responsibility.  He wanted to prove to his parents, his sisters, and his brothers, that he was at the age where he could start doing things for himself.  He so desperately wanted to prove to his family that he was able to do grown-up things.  If he did, maybe they would start treating him more like an adult and less like a baby.





So, Jacob's father says, 'Okay, Jacob.  Go to the store and bring home two ripe, red tomatoes from the store'. 

And, Jacob happily heads down to the store to fetch the two tomatoes.

However, once he gets to the store, a misunderstanding by the store clerk leads Jacob into believing that he had threatened the clerk accidentally, and when the clerk approaches a police officer, Jacob mistakenly believes that the clerk is trying to arrest him.  So, Jacob charges out of the store and runs as fast as he can, but somehow ends up tripping and knocking himself out.

When he comes to, he finds himself in a courtroom.  He tries his best to defend himself to the court, but somehow, he is found guilty.  He is given the rather unusual prison sentence of two years, two months, two days, two hours, two minutes, and five seconds behind bars at a children's prison far, far away from civilization.

And let's talk about this prison.  This prison is a scary place for children.  It would be a scary place in general for anybody, but this prison was one where bad boys and girls were sent to do hard time with back-breaking labour.  The guards of the prison, Master Fish and Mistress Fowl, were bad enough.  The ringleader of the prison was the one who they called 'The Hooded Fang'.  The Hooded Fang was rumoured to be a long-lost wrestler (who surprisingly had the same name as one of the wrestlers that Noah and Emma watched on television), who reportedly hated children, and who was so scary that it was rumoured that people who had the misfortune of meeting him face to face didn't come back to tell the tale.

Jacob Two-Two was in very big trouble.  Or was he?

You see, there were a lot of mysteries that surrounded this mysterious prison.  For one, even though Jacob was lead to believe that he was in a dangerous and terrible place, he seemed to have a friend on the inside.  He would be given chocolate bars, gumdrops, and other tasty treats.  Seemed kind of odd that prisoners would have a neverending candy supply, didn't it?

On top of all that, Jacob seemed to have allies on the outside.  When they weren't putting an end to a crooked toy store owner selling dodgy toys to children, Fearless O'Toole and Intrepid Shapiro had one mission on their mind.  They planned to merge their 'Child Power' together to get Jacob Two-Two and the rest of the children free from the prison.  They went to every extreme too, even emblazoning their logo on the bellies of ten poor crocodiles in the moat surrounding the prison!

So the questions left to be answered are these?  Can O'Toole and Shapiro bust the prisoners out of the clink?  Will Jacob find out who his 'Sugar Daddy' is?  And just who is the Hooded Fang?

What, you expect ME to tell you?  You'll just have to read the book yourself!  I will warn you that the ending itself has several twists to it, but you won't be disappointed.  I promise you that.





Or, you could try to rent or download the two feature films that were made which were based on the book.  One of the feature films has Gary Busey in it, if you can believe it!

It is a great book though.  And after reading it, I will admit that I changed my stance about the youngest child stigma.  About how it's only a stigma if you let it get that way.

Now I'm okay with being the youngest child in the family.  And, I finally feel as if I do have a place where I can and will fit in.

And, hey, this year, my siblings will be 46 and 40, while I'll still be sitting pretty at 31!  If that's not the ultimate perk, I don't know what is!  :D

Tuesday, January 03, 2012

Tuesday Timeline - January 3, 1950

Welcome to the first Tuesday of the New Year!

And to kick off this day, we’re going to kick off the very first trip back in time as we look back on the past to discover what life lessons we can learn for the future.

It’s a little something that I like to call the Tuesday Timeline!

Now, how this is going to work is simple.  Every Tuesday, we'll be looking back to a particular date in history.  In 99.9% of the features, it will be linked to a pop culture event.  It could be date of birth for an actor or singer.  It could be the date of death for an actor or singer.  It could be the date that a dance craze takes off, a date where someone nasty gets their comeuppance, or even a date where a tragedy can occur.

The trick is that when you first click on the link, you won't know who or what the entry will be about.  All the clues you will have are the date that the event happened.

I suppose that some of you could locate the information through Google or Yahoo, but that would be cheating.  Wouldn't it be more fun to just read the article the whole way through?

(Yeah, yeah...shameless self-promotion.  I know, I know.)

So, it's kind of like the Tuesday blog entries of yore where anything goes, but with a retrospective twist.  I think this whole new look at Tuesdays will be entertaining, so let's just start up our TARDIS, charge up the DeLorean, and zoom back in time to the first date in history.

January 3, 1950.



1950 was one of those years that had a lot going on.  It was the year that the Korean War began.  It was the year that the Great Brinks Robbery took place in Boston.  It was the year that Disney released its animated masterpiece, Cinderella.  And it was the first year of the decade that brought us the television sitcom, fears of nuclear war, and rock and roll music.

And it was on this date sixty-two years ago that one actress was born.  An actress who initially wanted to have a career in medicine.  An actress who got her big break in one of the biggest disaster movies ever made.  An actress who starred in a long-running drama serials who was involved in one of the most shocking and contrived cliffhangers ever shown on network television.

Who am I speaking about?



It would be actress Victoria Principal, who was born on January 3, 1950 in Japan.

So, given that Victoria Principal was often portrayed as an all-American babe, you might wonder how she ended up being born in Japan.  Well, Victoria's father was a military man, and as he was shipped from base to base, Victoria's childhood was spent in several different countries and cities.  According to Victoria Principal's official website (which is where much of the biographical information for this blog entry comes from), Victoria ended up attending no less than seventeen different schools during her childhood due to the family moving around so much.

I can only imagine how hard that it must have been for her growing up, not having a permanent place to call home for the first part of her life.  It did seem that she took it all in stride though.

As a young child, Victoria developed a love for performing early on, starring in television commercials when she was just five.  Therefore, it may surprise some of you to know that when she graduated high school in 1968, she wanted to go into a career in medicine.  Could you imagine Dr. Principal getting suited up to perform a tracheotomy?

But fate stepped in and changed her plans. 

When Victoria was just in her late teens, she was involved in a serious car accident midway through her first year of studies.  The driver of the other car was charged with drunk driving and was imprisoned as a result.  For Principal, however, her recovery from the accident took months, and she was faced with the sobering reality that she would have to redo her whole first year of studies.  In the end, she decided to change the course of her life and career by moving to New York City, and later studying at the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts in London, England.

With the medical school dream put on hold, Victoria decided to focus on acting full-time.

Like any new actor and actress though, Victoria had to pay her dues, and upon moving to Los Angeles in 1971, she really struggled with earning her big break.  She didn't have any money.  She didn't have transportation.  Aside from the television commercials she did as a child, she really didn't have any acting experience to showcase on her resume.  She ended up supporting herself that tough first year by teaching lessons in the game of backgammon! 

While she ended up getting cast in a couple of films during the early 1970s (most notably in 1972's 'The Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean' and 1973's 'The Naked Ape'), it wasn't until 1974 that people would really take notice of what talent she had to offer.



The movie was 1974's 'Earthquake', a film that at the time was one of the biggest disaster movies ever made, costing seven million dollars to make (which in 1974 dollars was quite a substantial amount of money).  And the way that Victoria was cast was quite the story.

When the role of Rosa was being cast, Victoria was one of three actresses being considered for the part.  But Victoria did something that set her apart from the other three.  She transformed her look to resemble what the producers wanted for the role of Rosa.  She cut her waist length hair, dyed it black, and styled it in a way to look more Italian.  Producers were impressed by Principal's transformation, and won the role on the spot!  Here's a clip of her from that movie as Rosa.  See her in action!



So, with the movie 'Earthquake', it put Victoria's star on the map.  But it wasn't until 1978 until her star really began to shine bright.



Yes, it was the television show 'Dallas' that kicked off Victoria's rise to stardom.  For nearly ten years, she played the role of Cliff Barnes' daughter, Pamela.  And the one thing that I could say about Pamela Barnes is that she was kind, sweet, and seemed to be the girl next door.

However, if you were to make the mistake of crossing her, well...the claws would come out.



Now, everyone who watched Dallas back then knew that Pamela was involved in some of the biggest storylines that the show ever had.  She was constantly dragged into the feud between her father and J.R. Ewing.  I think she may have even been a suspect in the 'Who Shot J.R.?' cliffhanger of 1980!

Perhaps one of the biggest storylines of Dallas' history was the relationship that she had with Bobby Ewing.  Certainly, Victoria Principal and Patrick Duffy had undeniable on-screen chemistry, and many viewers seemed captivated by the Romeo and Juliet like romance.



So, when Bobby was seemingly killed off at the end of the 1984/85 season of Dallas, viewers were shocked and stunned.  After all, Bobby was one of the main characters of the show, and one half of the supercouple that was Bobby and Pamela Ewing.  Of course, this set the stage for Victoria to shine solo.  Throughout the next year, viewers watched as Pamela said goodbye to Bobby and struggled to make it through without her husband.  Though she seemed to hold up quite well, and by the end of the following season, it seemed as though all was well.

But as we all discovered one day in 1986, there was one added twist that nobody saw coming...



That's right, boys and girls.  Bobby wasn't really dead.  It was ALL A DREAM.  The whole 1985/86 season was a figment of Pamela Barnes Ewing's imagination.

Cue the backlash.

Although Dallas managed to last until 1991, the whole 'dream season' cliffhanger did some damage to the credibility of this show, as well as the show 'Knots Landing', which was a spin-off of Dallas.  Even 26 years later, the dream season plot twist is highly debated.  Although Victoria had some brilliant moments during that fated season, it almost seemed as though it was a big waste.  Certainly, those people who loved the Bobby/Pamela pairing were pleased, but as I said before, the credibility of the show was damaged.

Not that it mattered much in the long run, as the 1986/87 season would end up being Victoria's last.  You can watch this scene of her final Dallas appearance below.



Here's the kicker.  Pamela SURVIVED the crash.  She was burned on over 95% of her body, but she survived.  I'm not sure if she eventually ended up dying, as I was a bit young to remember, but Principal was never seen on the show again. 

In a way, it seems kind of ironic that Pamela's time on Dallas was cut short due to a car crash, much like Victoria's career in medicine was derailed due to a car crash.

These days, Victoria is still just as busy since leaving Dallas in 1987.  The year after she left the show, she started up her own production company that ended up producing several made for television movies.  She also started up her own line of skin-care products in the late 1980s, which as of 2012 has become a billion dollar business.  I'd say that she's done quite well for herself, wouldn't you?

And, I think Victoria can teach us a few life lessons along the way.  She suffered a setback that essentially killed her original plan for the rest of her life.  But, did she let that stop her?  Not a chance.

She not only survived, but thrived.  In some weird way, she IS achieving her goal of being involved in medicine with her skin-care product line.  I know it's stretching, but I think that Victoria's career worked out exactly the way it was meant to.  Because sometimes, it takes a shake-up to see things for what they really are.  Sometimes, you have to take a chance and make a change and hope that by deviating from your original plan, it will all work out.

It certainly did for our birthday girl, as well as the inaugural subject of the Tuesday Timeline feature.



Happy Birthday, Victoria!