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Monday, January 23, 2012

Peeling Back The Many Layers Of Shrek

Here's a question for all of you reading this blog today. When you hear the word 'hero', how would you define it?

I imagine that for some of you, a hero is a type of sandwich with lettuce, cheese, tomatoes, and lunch meat.

For the rest of you, I have my suspicions that the word 'hero' means something different.

I'm sure if I were to take a poll on who people consider to be a real hero to them, there's probably going to be a lot of possibilities. Perhaps your definition of a hero could describe a police officer. Some of you might consider a celebrity to be a hero. Military men and women, firefighters, athletes...even our own parents. Everybody has their own opinions as to what makes someone a hero.

Certainly each of those examples I've listed have a lot of qualities that one could deem heroic. Bravery. Fearlessness. Strength. Intelligence. Wisdom.

Today's blog entry happens to be about one of these heroes, although at first glance, you might deem him anything but. On the surface, he doesn't appear to have a very heroic look about him. He's big, fat, dresses in rags, and brushes his teeth with slug guts. Not exactly the sort of description that one might associate with heroism, wouldn't you say?

But this is the story of how he proved everyone wrong, and how he learned something about himself along the way.

This is the story of Shrek.



As most of you know, Shrek is an ogre that first appeared in the DreamWorks film 'Shrek', released on May 18, 2001. Over the next eleven years, the Shrek franchise has grown, including three sequels, two television specials, and a spin-off movie, 'Puss In Boots'. And to think that the movie started off as a fairy tale picture book by William Steig!



The film managed to make almost five hundred million dollars at the box office and through DVD sales, and is widely regarded to be the film that put DreamWorks on the same playing field as its main competitor, Pixar, in terms of computer animation. Part of the film's charm was the fact that it appealed to both children and adults. Children were entertained by Shrek and the adventures he shared with Donkey in hopes of rescuing Princess Fiona from the evil Lord Farquaad, while there were subtle adult-oriented jokes mixed in to keep the parents laughing just as much as their children. The soundtrack of the movie was fantastic as well, incorporating songs from Joan Jett, The Proclaimers, Smash Mouth, and Jason Wade. Add an all-star voice cast including Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz, and John Lithgow, and you have a box office recipe for success.

Shrek is probably one of my all-time favourite animated movies. The fact that the movie came out on my 20th birthday might have a smidgen bit to do with it, I must admit. But Shrek is a rather interesting character in his own right, and I really wanted to use a Monday Matinee day to do a character spotlight on Shrek, because I really wanted to peel back the layers of his complex personality to figure out why he is the way he is.

When we're first introduced to Shrek, we see him scaring a whole bunch of townspeople into hiding. On the surface, he seems to get a great kick out of making everyone run away whenever he comes close. It's almost as if he wanted to be alone. Nobody would blame him, of course. Shrek was an ogre. For the people in the kingdom of 'Far Far Away', and all the little towns in between, ogres were bad creatures. They were ugly. They were disgusting. They were frightening. Certainly, no human being would ever be caught dead or alive around someone as vile as a nasty ogre.

And that's how Shrek wanted things. At least, in the beginning.

Each day, Shrek would scare the human population just a little bit more, and once he got bored with it, would retreat back to his home in the middle of a desolate swamp (complete with 'BEWARE OF OGRE' signage outside), and sit down to a nice, relaxing, candlelit dinner of slugs and other...delectable swamp goodies. It was a quiet, potentially lonely life for Shrek, but it was all that he had known.

But elsewhere, outside the kingdom of Duloc, an evil lord who goes by the name of Lord Farquaad was kicking out every fairy tale creature that was unfortunate enough to live nearby, banishing them to the swamp lands outside of the castle. He kicked out the Three Little Pigs, he tossed Pinocchio aside, kept Gingy prisoner by snapping off cookie limbs one by one, and sent a little grey donkey named 'Donkey' to be sold. However, Donkey manages to escape, and he inadvertently leads the outcast fairy tale creatures to Shrek's front door.



And Shrek is NOT happy about this at all.

Try as he might, Shrek can't seem to get anybody to leave. Everyone is in a tricky spot. Shrek valued his privacy and the fairy tale creatures just wanted their home back. So Shrek decides that he will just have to go to Lord Farquaad's castle to ask him to take back the fairy tale creatures so he can have his swamp back, which everyone is really excited for. After all, if Shrek succeeded, he would become their hero...a title that Shrek had never once considered for himself. But Shrek wasn't going to set out on the journey alone. He needed a sidekick. Donkey ended up being chosen to tag along, not knowing the adventure that the two of them would face along the way.



At the same time, Lord Farquaad learned from the Magic Mirror that in order for him to be a true king of the kingdom of Duloc, he needed to marry a princess, and given all the choices that he had been presented, the princess that chose was Princess Fiona. The problem was that Fiona was being held prisoner in a tower by a fire-breathing dragon, and word was that any knight who tried to rescue her never got out alive. And, Farquaad, all four feet of him, was a bit too cowardly to take on the task himself. He needed someone else to do the dirty work for him, and he thought that by holding a tournament where the last knight standing would win the chance to rescue the princess, it would be a keen way for him to get what he wanted without working for it. Such a charmer, that Farquaad.



I'm sure you know what happens. Shrek arrives at that very moment to yell at Farquaad, and he gets caught up in the middle of the tournament. Shrek's power and force easily makes mince meat out of the other knights in the battle, and Shrek ends up being selected to go rescue Fiona with the promise that Farquaad would help Shrek get rid of the fairy tale creatures in exchange.

And with that, Shrek and Donkey set off on their very first whirlwind adventure, where along the way to the tower where Fiona is held, Donkey tries to get Shrek to talk about himself. In the process, this interesting conversation comes up.



Ogres are like onions, eh? They have layers, eh? Remember this for future reference.

So Shrek and Donkey arrive at the castle, which is surrounded by lava, and one very rickety bridge to cross it. They manage to make it across just fine, and Shrek sets off to locate Fiona, but Donkey is held up when he is confronted by the dragon. The big pink dragon. The big pink FEMALE dragon who finds Donkey to be the dreamiest person she has ever laid eyes on. While Donkey is aghast at this suggestion, it does give Shrek ample time to make it up to Fiona's room to rescue her.



But don't believe for a second that it was love at first sight. Fiona had her heart set on being rescued by a loving, sensitive, romantic, handsome prince...which Shrek was not. Though, Shrek's indifference to her was quite funny to watch, I have to admit. And, naturally, Shrek had to rescue Donkey and when he did, the dragon got extremely upset. After all, who did Shrek think he was, trying to come in between her and her man? Fortunately, Shrek, Fiona, and Donkey made it out of the tower without being flame-broiled. It seemed all was well, and while Fiona was surprised by Shrek's overall personality, she was thrilled to have been rescued at all, and wanted to reward her saviour with a kiss...

...until Shrek took off his mask, and revealed his green ogre skin in all its...um...glory. Poor Princess Fiona was crestfallen to find that her knight in shining armor was just a big green oafish ogre. She is disgusted by the idea of being rescued by Shrek, but when Shrek convinces her that he's acting by proxy for Lord Farquaad, Fiona decides that it might be worth it after all to go with Shrek...well, once Shrek picks her up and carries her down the path to Duloc like a sack of rice, anyways.



Something peculiar happens along the way though. The more time that Shrek and Fiona spend together, the more they start to like each other. They soon find that they both have a lot in common. They love eating unconventional foods, they enjoy turning snakes and frogs into balloon animals...they both even seem to share a love of kicking butt when the group is ambushed by 'Monsieur' Hood and his henchmen. This time, it's Fiona who showcases her kung fu moves, impressing Shrek and Donkey.

Sure, there was that strange quirk that Fiona had to stop for a rest every time the sun went down, but Shrek could overlook that. It was strange for him though, as he had spent most of his life being alone. He had never wanted to be near anybody before, and yet here he was developing feelings for Fiona, and sharing a friendship with Donkey. And he didn't know why.

He had been so accustomed to being alone. He even tells Donkey in confidence that the minute they bring Fiona back to Duloc, he plans on building a ten foot wall around his home so that nobody else could get in. When Donkey asks why, Shrek tells him that he is tired of people judging him based on a stereotype instead of getting to know him. Because everybody had the idea that all ogres were mean and nasty, Shrek thought that everyone would think that about him. He feels that everyone would be better off if he isolated himself from everyone around him. Never mind the fact that Donkey (and all the other fairy tale creatures) never saw Shrek as the monster that everyone else claimed he was.

And neither did Fiona...for Fiona knew all too well what Shrek was going through. Especially at the midnight hour.

You see, anyone who has ever read a fairy tale story about a princess knows that there's something that is usually off about her in the beginning. In Cinderella, we know that she comes from a poor, abusive household. In Sleeping Beauty, our princess is in an everlasting coma from a spinning wheel accident.



And in Shrek, when the moon rises up, Princess Fiona becomes an ogress herself.

The curse only lasts from sunset to sunrise though, so she isn't an ogress for very long. But when Donkey happens to come across her secret one fateful night, Fiona explains to Donkey that when she was a child, a curse was placed on her. The curse caused her to change from human to ogress every evening. This was explained as the reason why Fiona spent most of her life trapped in the tower where Donkey's not-so-secret dragon admirer lived. There was only one way to break the curse...if she received a kiss from her one true love, the curse would end up broken, and she would take on 'love's true form'. Fiona just assumed that she would automatically become a human again...and not to give away the ending, let's just say that we all know what happens when we assume something...

...and this is a lesson that Shrek learns the hard way. Heartbreakingly so.

Right around the time Fiona shared her secret with Donkey, Shrek was looking deep inside himself, and he realized that he was starting to develop real feelings for Fiona. He had made the decision to tell Fiona how he felt. She didn't have to marry Farquaad after all. If he told Fiona how he felt, there was a possibility that she'd feel the same way. But when Shrek overheard Fiona talking to Donkey and misinterpreted a comment she said about herself being a big ugly beast, thinking that she was really saying that about him, Shrek is deeply hurt, and the next morning acts really cool towards Fiona and Donkey. By the time they arrive back at Duloc, Shrek was almost relieved to hand Fiona to Farquaad, thinking that he had been hurt enough.

Once he arrives back home, minus the fairy tale creatures, he realizes that he may have made a mistake letting Fiona go. He really misses her, and is beginning to understand that life simply wasn't as much fun without her around. He's feeling so miserable that he decides to take a walk, where he runs into a very angry Donkey, who wants to know why Shrek treated them both so badly. Shrek shoots back that he overheard them talking about him and how ugly he was, but Donkey explains that Fiona wasn't even talking about him. Shrek comes to the eventual conclusion that he overreacted, and that he owes Fiona an ogre-sized apology. But with Fiona set to marry Farquaad, can Donkey and Shrek get back to Duloc in time to stop the wedding to tell Fiona how he really feels about her? And will Fiona finally get the chance to tell Shrek her secret before she becomes Mrs. Fiona Farquaad?

I'm sure that you know what eventually happens, considering that the Shrek series has four parts to it. Just know that Donkey's love interest plays a huge part in the conclusion of the first film.

So now that we know the story of Shrek, what can we take from Shrek?

Well, we know that we shouldn't judge people before we get to know them first. Underneath Shrek's rough and tumble exterior, we found that he's a really decent guy inside. He really does care about people, even though he might not show it. And while he might be set in his stubborn ways most of the time, he is willing to listen to advice on how to make things better for himself.

We can also safely say that like Shrek's speech about onions, ogres do have a lot of layers. There's a lot of strength and vigor in Shrek, but there's also a lot of heartache and pain as well. You wouldn't have expected a big, hulking guy like Shrek to have such sensitive feelings. But yet, there they were.

Here's my confession for all of you out there reading this blog entry right now. I see myself in Shrek. If it wasn't for the fact that I have hair on my head and that my skin isn't even remotely close to being green in colour, I would say that I AM Shrek.

Shrek spent his whole life hiding away from people because he was sick and tired of people's prejudices about him. He wanted to hide away from the world because he didn't see himself as being able to contribute to it in a positive manner.

I'm almost ashamed to admit this now because I'm beginning to find my way back out of a shell that I spent the better part of a decade and a half constructing, but I know how Shrek felt.

When I was a kid, I was subject to being picked on and teased by my classmates. In elementary school, it was really bad some days, and I probably faked quite a bit of sick days (with my parents consent, of course) because I simply didn't want to go to school to be made to feel badly about myself by kids who didn't know any better. It wasn't as big a deal back then because in elementary school, we didn't have that much homework, and any work that we did do, I could easily get caught up in. And besides, this was elementary school, and we were all idiotic kids back then. It certainly didn't make what the kids did to me right, but I'm more in a position to forgive and forget.

High school on the other hand was different. I'm not going to sugarcoat things. What happened to me at high school was abuse. Plain and simple. And it wasn't one of those situations where I could just skip school to get away from it. For one, I lived right next door to the school, so anyone who happened to be around the school grounds smoking a cigarette could have ratted me out. For another, missing one day of high school meant a boatload of work. I know. I developed a really bad chest infection just before March Break in grade eleven, missed four days of school, and practically spent the whole week catching up.

So, I ended up enduring the abuse for five years (and yes, in Ontario, there was a grade 13). Abuse from teenagers who really should have grown up by that point but simply lacked the maturity to do so. It's not a fun experience to have to go to a place every weekday for five years where if people don't hate you, they just plain ignore you. It kind of gave me a bit of a major complex about myself that lasted for many, many years. It was like, if I'm not good enough for people to even speak to me in high school, let alone treating me with a shred of decency and respect, then why bother trying to be that way with anyone else on the street, or in town, or anything like that.

So, I did what Shrek did...minus the mud and slugs. I retreated to my room, cranked up the stereo as loud as I could, and just stayed there. If memory serves me, I think I even began to eat meals up in my bedroom during high school because I didn't care to go out anywhere. I felt that horribly about myself. I'm almost ashamed to admit that this behaviour even lasted years after high school even ended. But that's what it was like. People were judging me based on stories that they had heard about me without even having the balls to approach me to get the full story. I often wonder why I didn't just end up telling the whole lot of them an expression that involves the pairing of a certain four-letter expletive with the word off. I guess I was just in a state of mind where I just didn't care to impress people who didn't want to be impressed.

It's only now that I realized how much of a fool I was. Not because I took the abuse that I did (although looking back on it, I really shouldn't have). But because I allowed the small-minded opinions of a few rotten apples who in all likelihood I'll never see again in my lifetime to control how I lived my life. I locked myself in isolation for the better part of a decade because I was so worried that everyone in the world would see me the way that those classmates did. I ended up losing that part of my life because of my own insecurities about myself brought upon by some spiteful people, and I am disgusted that I was ever that weak.

But, that was in the past. I can't get those years back even if I wanted them. At least now I'm finding that I'm not nearly as horrible as I thought I was. I mean, at my current workplace, my colleagues seemingly like and respect me (as I do with them), so it became pretty obvious that not everyone in the world was as cold as the people I was unlucky enough to have to pass by in the hallways of a school. It's something that I learned a little late, but at least I still have some time left to make up for it.

I almost think that Shrek had it even worse than I did, as it appeared that Shrek was being judged right from birth. He had a whole lifetime of people thinking the worse of him, and it really messed him up. But, I think with Shrek, he allowed himself to peel back the layers of insecurity and despair to allow the friendships that he shared with Donkey and Fiona enter. It didn't take long for the onion inside of Shrek to transform into a beautiful blooming onion of warmth, complete with a side order of friendship for flavouring.  He also became an unlikely hero in the eyes of the fairy tale creatures, as Shrek managed to bring them back home.



All he needed was to believe in himself...and once he did, he could accept Donkey and Fiona into his life without second-guessing himself or them. And by doing that, he finally managed to smash that wall he built around himself.

I'm at the point where I'm in progress with doing the same. I think I just need a bigger sledgehammer to really get the job done.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Spotlight On Basia

One of the most frustrating moments that I can think of is when you hear a song playing somewhere that you have heard several times before in a specific place, but you can't place who sang the song or what the song title is.

It happens to me more times than I can count.

I'm sure we've all been in a situation where we're maybe in a car, and you have the radio going when suddenly a song comes on that you feel is familiar, but aren't sure as to what the song is, or even who sings it. Because you're driving the car, you can't really go onto your iPhone, click on whatever app you use to access the Internet, and look up the answer, because you and I both know that using an iPhone while driving a car at the same time is illegal and dangerous, not to mention stupid.

I've been in many situations where I have heard songs that I thought that I had heard before at some point, and couldn't figure out anything about who sang it, what the song was about, what album I heard it from. Even more frustrating is the fact I don't always remember to look up the information about the song once I get home and forget all about it until the next time I hear it again.

This happens all too often at my current workplace (the one I spend time at when I'm NOT working on this side project). The songs that play at work are at least five years or more old. On top of that, there's a good possibility that on any given shift, you can hear the same songs being played EVERY SINGLE DAY, due to the fact that the playlist that my workplace uses selects songs from the random pool of one thousand in any random order selected. I've been told that our playlist is really a bunch of CD's on the randomizer setting, but I wonder if the system that controls our music is really done by computer. I suppose that's a topic for another day.

Would you like to hear a story regarding one of these songs? It's linked to today's Sunday Jukebox spotlight.

A lot of people at my workplace usually tune out the music that plays throughout the store, but over the last couple of weeks, I admit that I have tuned in more than I really should. As much as it pains me to say this, I think I've got it down to a science as to when certain songs are likely to be played at my workplace, and quite possibly what order they might appear.

I know, it sounds bad, doesn't it? It's just a good thing that some of the music that the store does play, I actually don't mind too much.

Now, here's where my frustrations begin. Over the last couple of weeks, it seemed as though that every time I came in for a shift, there was one song that kept playing each one of my shifts. And, for the life of me, I could not figure out who it was that sang the song, nor did I know the artist.

It also proved problematic at first in regards to finding out this information. For one, I work in a grocery store setting, where depending on the day and time, the general noise level can range from extremely quiet to absolute chaos. And just my luck, each time the song usually came on, it was played on those absolute chaos days. Further complicating things was the fact that the singer of the song had a bit of an accent, so trying to figure out exact lyrics to enter into a search engine afterwards proved difficult, since I didn't know what the exact words were.

At first thought, the female's voice sounded as if it were British.  Initially, my thoughts were steering towards Kim Wilde or Samantha Fox, but neither one of them had songs that even remotely resembled the one I kept hearing day after day.

It wasn't until about five days ago or so that I finally got enough information to go on to perform a search. As luck would have it, I was on my fifteen minute break and was about ready to go back when the song that had drove me crazy for the last couple of weeks started to play, and I finally had enough lyrics to do an adequate search.

Once I got home, I typed in the first four words that were sang in the song. “Hello again, it's me.” Once I entered those lyrics into Google and clicked on the search button, I finally had the answer.



ARTIST: Basia
SONG: New Day For You
ALBUM: Time And Tide
DATE RELEASED: October 20, 1987
PEAK POSITION ON THE BILLBOARD CHARTS: #59
PEAK POSITION ON THE ADULT CONTEMPORARY CHARTS: #5

The song was called “New Day For You”, released in 1987 (as if the hairstyle of the male lead of the video didn't give it away).



And the artist of the song isn't British. She's Polish singer, Basia (pronounced BASHA).

Of course, Basia is just her stage name. Her real name is Barbara Trzetrzelewska. Do NOT even attempt to ask me to pronounce her last name because I know I'd butcher it if I tried.

At any rate, Basia is the subject for today, and just looking through her official website and other places, she has had one heck of a career. And, just looking at her discography and playing back some of the songs that she has recorded over her career, it almost seems as if my workplace plays a large selection of Basia songs.

But who exactly is Basia?

Basia was born in Poland in September 1954, making her fifty-seven years of age today. When she was just fifteen years old, she got her first big break in performance arts by performing alongside an amateur rock band known as Astry at a Polish rock festival. There was a judging panel at the festival, and thanks to Basia's help, the group ended up winning the contest, and Basia ended up singing with a couple of bands throughout the 1970s.



By 1979, Basia had made the decision to try and branch out in the world of music, and one of the first things she did was move out of her native Poland abroad. After a brief stay in the United States, Basia ended up settling in London, England by 1981. During this time, she met a couple of musicians named Mark Reilly and Danny White, and Basia joined the two of them to form a jazz trio. Initially called 'Bronze', the name of the band changed to 'Matt Bianco'. They released an album together in 1984, and had a couple of hits in the United Kingdom. If you'd like an example of Matt Bianco in action, you can just take a look at the video below.



The band's success together would prove to be short-lived, as Basia left the band just one year later to pursue a solo career. And in 1987, her first solo album, 'Time And Tide' was released, which contained the hit singles 'New Day For You', 'Prime Time TV', and the title track, which became Basia's first Top 30 hit on the Billboard Charts. Basia's success in the United States was especially noticed, and her debut solo album had sales of almost two million copies since its debut.



I can definitely see why Basia was so popular. Back in 1987, there were more or less three different kinds of music that dominated pop charts. Heavy Metal, Pop, and Rock. Basia's music was something was was quite different given the time that it was released. It was almost as if someone took an album of jazz classics and blended them together with contemporary Latin melodies to create a mix that was soulful, yet romantic. If you really listen closely to the lyrics of a lot of Basia's songs, they're quite deep. When you consider that English was Basia's second language, it was quite amazing that Basia could create such wonderful albums.

'Time and Tide' was merely the beginning though.



Her next solo project came about in late 1989. The album was called 'London Warsaw New York', a title that was almost autobiographical, as it represented three cities in the three countries that Basia once called home (England, Poland, The United States). The album also did very well, selling just as many copies as her first one. On the album were hits like 'Copernicus', 'Baby Be Mine', and the below, 'Cruising For Bruising', which peaked at #29 in early 1990.



(TRIVIA: 'Cruising For Bruising' is my favourite Basia song.)

Basia's second album proved to be even more successful than her first, with the album being named one of Billboard's Top Contemporary Jazz Albums of the Year, and her popularity grew in other countries including Japan, France, and the Philippines. She would release another album in 1994, “The Sweetest Illusion”, which continued her worldwide success. Two years later, she released a live album which was recorded during a concert set in New York City, entitled “Basia On Broadway.”

By 1998, however, Basia had decided that she needed a break from performing, and opted to take a sabbatical from music, despite the fact that she had earned a huge fan following, and had massive sales of her albums in various parts of the world. The truth was that 1998 was the beginning of a really rocky road for Basia's personal life, as it was right around that time that she had lost quite a few people who were very close to her.

One of those people happened to be her mother...a loss that Basia especially took hard, as I'm sure most people who have lost a parent can surely attest to. Although she did make a guest appearance on a 1999 single by Taro Hasake, she more or less remained out of the music scene for the next six years of her life.

That was until 2004, when her former 'Matt Bianco' bandmates approached her to reform the band. By this time, Basia was starting to get back into the music scene, and she agreed to rejoin her former bandmates to release another 'Matt Bianco' album, which garnered immediate critical success internationally. This was just the push Basia needed to go back to doing what she loved doing, which was making music, and in 2009, she released her first album of original material in fifteen years, entitled “It's That Girl Again”, which became a commercial success in the United Kingdom, and did fairly well on jazz charts in the United States.

What's funny is that Basia has had so much success in the world of music, yet it seems as though nobody that I've talked to even knew who she was. It's almost kind of a shame that she didn't have more of an impact in popular music, because I really think that her voice and talent far outweighs what currently passes as music these days. At the same time though, my own personal tastes in music seem to deviate from what is considered popular. I like music that can really touch your soul and make you feel something deep inside. I think Basia's music certainly qualifies, and I'm sure that she'll just get better and better as the years progress.

There's a couple of life lessons that Basia can teach us about ourselves as well. One lesson is that no matter what happens in someone's life and times, they should never forget where they came from, or what made them feel their best. And despite the fact that Basia took a little bit of a break to cope with the stress of her personal life, she still managed to hold her musical career close to her heart, and released a comeback album that was well received.

The more important lesson that she showed me especially is that if you want something bad enough, it can be possible...you just might have to make a lot of changes to make it so. Certainly leaving Poland and moving to two different countries would be a culture shock for most, but Basia knew that if she wanted to become a musical success, she would have to take that chance and move somewhere where she would have the best chance to succeed.

She never gave up on her dream, and took chances. It ended up paying off for her in a big way.

And in a way, this blog entry would have never been possible had one of her songs not played at work, and had me curious over who sang it.



Saturday, January 21, 2012

American Top 40 - A Weekend Tradition

Saturdays for me were a day of tradition.

As far back as I can remember, it dawned on me that every Saturday ended up beginning exactly the same way, and ended exactly the same way. To some on the outside world, it may be seen as being reluctant to change, or it could be seen as me being one of the most boring children in the entire world, but to me, it was just comforting that I had one day to myself where everything went the same.

I'd wake up on Saturday morning...usually quite early, as the best cartoon shows seemed to air before ten in the morning. I'd grab the sugary cereal du jour, and happily experience a sugar high as I watched cartoons until my brain turned to mush! After cartoons were over, I'd usually have to go out with my mother somewhere, as Saturday was a minor grocery shopping day at our household. When we got back home, I would probably then be asked to do any homework I had that was due Monday, and once that homework was finished (or mostly finished), I had the rest of the night to do whatever I wished.

Oh, how I wish I could go back to those Saturdays filled with bliss once more. Alas, they are but a fond memory.

Today's blog topic happens to be all about one of those fond Saturday memories that I hold so dear.

You see, when I was forced to do my homework (because let's face it, what kid actually WANTED to do homework?) on those lazy Saturday afternoons, I couldn't concentrate on it at all in silence. That was one of the reasons why I had a radio in my room at all times. So I could listen to the radio while I worked on my history essays, or my art projects, or that dreaded algebra I wanted to take a blowtorch to.

I can even remember the radio station that I used to listen to when I did my homework. It was PAC 93 (92.7 FM on the radio dial), which was based out of Upstate New York. The station has since been transformed to a classic rock station (at least it was last time I listened to it), but back in those days, it was your everyday Top 40 station. And on the weekends, they would air two countdown shows. One was the countdown show hosted by Rick 'Disco Duck' Dees, which was all right, if a little bit goofy.

And then there was this countdown show.



The show was called 'American Top 40', and the host of the show for much of its run was Casey Kasem.



I fondly remember doing my math homework while listening to the biggest chart hits of the week. It just wasn't a weekend without listening to Casey Kasem count down the hits. It helped me contain my stress levels when I couldn't figure out the square root of 268,324.

(The answer is 518, by the way...and yes, I used a calculator.)

The history of American Top 40 is one that I find absolutely fascinating, and the show managed to change quite a bit over the number of years it has aired. And this blog entry will look at some of the changes that took place over the years, and what the aftermath of those changes were.

First, let's take a look at how it all began.

It was the 4th of July weekend in 1970 when Casey Kasem kicked off the inaugural broadcast of American Top 40. At the time, he had just finished voice work with the Scooby-Doo cartoon series. I actually managed to find the very first opening of that first broadcast on Wikipedia, and here it is in all its glory, along with the theme song.

“Here we go with the Top 40 hits of the nation this week on 'American Top 40', the best-selling and most played songs from the Atlantic to the Pacific, from Canada to Mexico. This is Casey Kasem in Hollywood, and in the next three hours, we'll count down the 40 most popular hits in the United States this week, hot off the record charts of 'Billboard' magazine for the week ending July 11, 1970. In this hour at #32 in the countdown, a song that's been a hit four different times in nineteen years! And, we're just one tune away from the singer with the $10,000 gold hubcaps on his car! Now, on with the countdown!”



Every edition of American Top 40 started off exactly the same way. Casey would introduce himself to the radio audience, explain what the countdown was, where the source of the countdown came from, and some little trivia bits about artists who had a hit on the countdown that week.

Originally broadcast in monaural sound, the show quickly switched to stereo in late 1972. The show was originally produced by Watermark Inc. (which was bought by ABC Radio in 1982, which is now known as Citadel Media). And the show was first sponsored by Tom Driscoll, of Driscoll's Strawberry Associates Inc.!

It was a show with humble beginnings, but quickly became a powerhouse on the radio.

Throughout the 1970s and much of the 1980s, Casey Kasem took American Top 40 and ran with it. The show was syndicated on over five hundred radio stations in the United States, and reports were that by the early 1980s, the show could be heard in over fifty countries. The show's popularity made it possible for the show to be expanded to four hour broadcasts instead of just three, though there was an ulterior motive for that one. With singles becoming lengthier, it was necessary to expand the broadcast or else they simply wouldn't have the time to air all forty singles on the chart.

Especially when you consider that such hits as Meatloaf's “I Would Do Anything For Love, But I Won't Do That”, Guns 'N' Roses “November Rain”, Oasis' “Champagne Supernova”, and Michael Jackson's “Thriller” were all five minutes or more!

The radio countdown was also broadcast on Saturday Morning television on NBC for a period, although that program only counted down the Top 10 hits. You can watch a clip of the television show by clicking on this link.  This edition was from January 1981.

Aside from the music though, there were a lot of features that Casey Kasem incorporated into his show that made it stand out. It was the first show that used number jingles to count down the songs, and in later years of the show, there were two sets of number jingles used. An upbeat one for up-tempo songs, and a slower version for ballads.

It was also one of the few chart shows to incorporate a segment known as “The Long Distance Dedication”, which first kicked off during the summer of 1978. The segment began when a staffer of the radio program at the time, found a letter in the mail written by a fan who wanted to request the song “Desiree” by Neil Diamond, for his girlfriend of the same name who was moving away. Over the years that Casey hosted the countdown, he would usually have two “Long Distance Dedications” to air, and usually these dedications were for remembering a lost love, or a message to a current love stating how much they were loved. Here's an example of this in action from a chart airing in May 1986.



Of course, this segment was the scene of a meltdown in which Casey lost his cool because he had to read a “Long Distance Dedication” in memory of a deceased pet after just playing an up-tempo dance hit just prior. The segment never aired on the show itself, but several links to the incident have been posted online. You can look it up if you wish to, but I won't post it here. All that I have heard was that the song that had aired prior to the fated “Long Distance Dedication” was this one below.



Yeah. Awkward. At least it wasn't “Who Let The Dogs Out”...

American Top 40 was also a treasure trove for trivia! Before the days of the Internet, many people tuned into American Top 40 to get all the news about their favourite artists and bands. On every edition of the countdown, Casey would precede the number one hit of the week with a story about the band, the songwriters, even about a funny story involving fans. In some ways, it helped the radio listener feel as though they were getting to know their favourite artists even better.

But that wasn't all he did.

He sometimes had special reports based on a specific style of music, usually preceding a chart hit that emulated that style. He would have a segment entitled “Whatever Happened To...?”, which gave updates on artists who hadn't had a hit on the charts for at least five years or more. He would give a list of songs that were topping other charts, such as country, alternative, or adult contemporary. He'd even answer questions from listeners who wrote in asking for information about songs that were played on the chart. For many people, Casey Kasem was their link to every piece of music trivia imaginable.

At the end of every edition of the countdown, Casey would sign off with his trademark closing spiel.

“Keep your feet on the ground, and keep reaching for the stars!”

And for the first eighteen years of American Top 40's run, Casey Kasem was definitely the go-to guy for the Top 40 songs of the week, as well as the information that came along with it.

So when it was announced that Casey Kasem was vacating the very show that he helped create in 1988, listeners all over the world were stunned at the news. Casey Kasem was American Top 40. How could he ever be replaced? Why did he leave?

The reason Casey left was due to creative control and contract issues between himself and ABC Radio. Billboard Magazine had reported that salary issues were also a main factor behind Casey Kasem leaving the show.




At any rate, Casey's last stint of hosting the countdown was August 6, 1988, and the following week, Shadoe Stevens took over the hosting duties of American Top 40. Although I have no problem with how Shadoe hosted the program, I'll admit that I was upset that Casey Kasem was no longer the host of the program, and apparently a lot of people felt the same way. They never really warmed up to Shadoe as host of the program, although I do believe that he did his best given that he had some really tough shoes to fill.



But if you thought that we had seen the last of Casey Kasem, think again. In January 1989, Casey Kasem came back on the radio airwaves with a new radio show, Casey's Top 40, produced by Westwood One Radio. From the moment Casey's new show debuted on January 21, 1989, quite a few radio stations dropped American Top 40 with Shadoe Stevens from their schedules to carry Casey's new show.

On one hand, it was good for Casey, knowing that he had such a loyal fanbase. On the other hand, you really had to feel terrible for Shadoe Stevens.

Unlike American Top 40, which counted down the hits in Billboard Magazine, Casey's Top 40 counted down the hits from Radio & Records magazine instead, which lead to an almost similar playlist as rival Rick Dees' Weekly Top 40 program. As Casey's Top 40 grew in popularity, American Top 40 kept plummeting. The show was cancelled in the United States for a brief period beginning July 9, 1994, and just a few months later, the show was pulled from foreign markets by the beginning of 1995, to be replaced with either Rick Dees' program, or The World Chart Show.

Casey's Top 40 would run almost an additional decade, ceasing production in March 1998 when yet again another conflict arose regarding creative control. With American Top 40 going on hiatus in 1995, Casey Kasem wanted to change the name of his program back to American Top 40 after getting the rights back from ABC. However, Westwood One refused to accommodate his request, so Casey left the company, took with him the American Top 40 name, and rebooted the American Top 40 chart with AMFM Radio syndication. On March 28, 1998, the American Top 40 program was revived after a three year hiatus, and Casey served as host of the program for the next five years.

However, as much as we don't like to admit it, all good things eventually came to an end. And in 2003, Casey Kasem left the hosting duties of American Top 40 permanently. He would still host other programs on radio until 2009 when he retired from the radio industry for good.



American Top 40 still lives on though. Hosted by Ryan Seacrest since 2004, the program continues to count down the forty biggest hits in the world...but I have to admit, part of me still wishes that Casey still hosted the program. I know that it's an impossibility these days since Casey Kasem is turning 80 this year, and is probably enjoying his retirement. But Casey Kasem was such a huge part of my childhood, and at least with him still hosting the program, I can at least feel like I can go back to those carefree days of being a child.

At least some radio stations are rebroadcasting old episodes of American Top 40 with Casey at the helm. I suppose that's some consolation.


Friday, January 20, 2012

How The Cast Of "Blossom" Blossomed

I'm constantly in awe of people who can work on two or more projects at once.

Just going by personal experiences, I've never been able to multitask. Any efforts that I have made to try doing two projects at the same time have never gone well at all. Usually when I try to do two projects at once, one of two things happen. I either get so bored with one project that I leave it unfinished while I work on the second, or I churn out two below-average works that I don't have any pride in.

So, needless to say, I have total admiration for people who can work on two different projects at once. Even more admiration for those who manage to take both of those projects and use them to entertain a wider audience than they are accustomed to.

This is NOT an invitation for you all to start texting on a mobile phone while you are driving a car. Not only is it illegal in much of North America, but it is incredibly foolish to do. So don't even think about it.

I'm actually referring to people who may be a star on a television show or a drama who balance their commitment to the show with other projects that they have wanted to do. We see it all the time in the world of Broadway. Many people who have acted in soap operas, sitcoms, and films have made appearances on Broadway while filming their shows at the same time. One example I can think of right off the bat is Neil Patrick Harris, who has made several Broadway appearances while filming his sitcom “How I Met Your Mother”.

He's not the first or the only one to wear two hats at the same time in the world of entertainment. I'm positive that during the filming of the sitcom “Friends”, all six main cast members had at least one movie project on the go during filming, or when the show went on summer hiatus. I'm doubly sure that this could apply to hundreds of actors and actresses today.

Some people have been known to take a step 'backwards' in their career, going from high-profile roles to low-profile ones. Take movie actor James Franco, who filmed a couple of stints recently on the soap opera, “General Hospital”, citing his work on the show as 'performance art'. Somehow he managed to balance filming “General Hospital” with his other film projects on the go, all while taking college courses. James Franco must have been one busy beaver during that time. I often wonder how he did it.

In some cases, celebrities may take on roles that they have never thought of as a challenge, or even as a way to expand their audience. During 2008, Brooke Shields was starring on the drama “Lipstick Jungle”, which was a show clearly marketed towards a specific audience. At the same time, Brooke was also filming guest appearances on the Disney show “Hannah Montana”, playing the role of the deceased mother of the title character. By doing this, she managed to attract another audience...small children. In hindsight, it was probably a great career move for Brooke, as well as a personal one. With Brooke having young children herself, they may not have been old enough for “Lipstick Jungle”, but at least with “Hannah Montana”, they could watch their mother on a show that was more age-appropriate.

Then there are those people who wear both an acting hat and a singing hat. Usually both at the same time. And there's lots of examples where this has been shown.

David Cassidy is a prime example of this. While he was filming “The Partridge Family”, he had a #1 hit in 1970 with the song “I Think I Love You”.

Same deal with television actor, Jack Wagner, who had a #2 hit with “All I Need” while he acted in the soap opera “General Hospital”, or Rick Springfield, who himself had a #1 song with “Jessie's Girl” while acting on the same soap. Even Ricky Martin was dabbling in musical offerings while he starred on “General Hospital”.

(Geez...what is it with “General Hospital” and actors who masquerade as singers?)

And then there's this guy...who released this song in 1993.



All right. You can say it. The song is forgettable, the video is outdated, and people really did have terrible fashion sense in 1993. I should know. I think I wore some of it.

But Joey Lawrence released this song on MTV and MuchMusic, and it certainly made an impact on the audience that it was supposed to attract.

You see, long before Justin Bieber was even born, Joey Lawrence was considered to be one of those “Tiger Beat” cover boys. Um...not that I ever READ “Tiger Beat” or anything like that. Just that some of the girls in my grade school classes used to have subscriptions to the magazine and would often bring them into class. If anything, the only reason I glanced at the magazine was to correct all of the spelling mistakes that the magazine made.

But, I'm going wildly off track here, so let's get back on before we really go off course.

This entry is about a sitcom that Joey Lawrence acted in while he filmed the video for “Nothin' My Love Can't Fix”.



I'm talking about “Blossom”, the NBC sitcom that aired from 1991 to 1995. The sitcom, in addition to Lawrence, also starred Jenna von Oy, Ted Wass, Michael Stoyanov, and Mayim Bialik as the title character of Blossom Russo.



Now, here's a confession to make here. I've maybe only seen two episodes of “Blossom” in my entire life. Therefore, it's a bit hard for me to actually give an opinion on whether or not I liked or disliked it. I managed to watch a few episodes of it online though, so I have a bit of an idea as to how the characters acted, and how they interacted. I don't really understand the plots of certain episodes. So, I'm going to give the Cliff's Notes version of the show summary.

But I'm all right with that, because I really want to focus on a topic that stems from “Blossom” instead.



“Blossom” was a sitcom that on the surface looked like a typical coming-of-age sitcom. The main character, Blossom, was once in a family that resembled a typical nuclear family of a mom, a dad, and three children.

Somewhere along the way, Blossom's mother decided that she wanted more out of life than to be a wife and mother. So she packs up her belongings, moves away to pursue a career and life for herself while the rest of the family is left to deal with the aftermath. To many people, they might feel justified to call her a bad mother, and spew venom at Blossom's mother for making such a selfish choice, and I'm almost inclined to agree with that. I probably would have had I not read that during the series, they brought Blossom's mother back to the show in the form of singer Melissa Manchester. So, I'm guessing that at some point, that relationship was mended, though I'm sure that there was a lot of drama associated with it.

Anyway, Blossom having to deal with the absence of her mother during some of the most impressionable years of her life was bad enough. Imagine being the only girl in a house full of guys. There was Blossom's father, Nick, who was a musician who floated from gig to gig in order to support his family. In addition, there was Blossom's two older brothers. We had Tony (Stoyanov), the oldest of the brothers, who was a recovering drug and alcohol addict who ended up getting married in Las Vegas after falling off the wagon. Despite this, he ended up becoming a paramedic as well as a father of a son named Nash. The younger of the brothers was Joey (Lawrence), a jock who lived to play baseball, but didn't exactly live up to his potential when it came to brains. Oh, and he was also known for his one-word catchphrase.



Yep...there it is.



Oh, but lest you think that Blossom was completely without female influence, you'd be mistaken, as Blossom had a best friend whom Nick often saw as a second daughter. Her name was Six LeMeure (von Oy). Oh, and the fact that she was named after a number? Turns out that she was named after the number of beers that both her parents drank on the night that she was conceived.

Classy.

Given the unusual story behind her unusual name, is it any wonder why Six decided to hang around the Russo residence instead of her own home? Just by looking at some of the summaries of the show on the Internet Movie Database, it's clear that Six had a really rough childhood, and during the time that she was on the show, she became dependent on alcohol, suffered a pregnancy scare, and dated a much older man. Considering that “Blossom” was meant to be a sitcom, it dealt with some rather heavy topics of discussion, wouldn't you say? I guess you could call it a '90s version of “The Facts Of Life”...albeit loosely.

So, now that you know a little bit about what the show was about, let's steer this blog entry right around and link it to the original idea that I was talking about at the beginning.

And looking at “Blossom”, it's amazing to see just how many people on that show ended up working on other projects either while they were doing the show, or after they did the show. Much of the cast stayed in the profession of acting, but others made a career switch or two.



Let's take a look at Joey Lawrence, since we saw an example of this earlier in this piece. He ended up releasing an entire album in early 1993 while he was filming Blossom, and the song I posted up above managed to become a Top 20 hit! Not a bad effort there. And during the show's filming, he guest starred in other NBC sitcoms, and made an appearance in a Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen video. Granted, not all these projects were ones that were memorable, but when you consider that Joey Lawrence had always wanted to record music, starring in these projects were one way to help satisfy those desires. He's released some music post-Blossom, but these days, he's gone back to acting with the ABC Family program “Melissa & Joey”, and performing on “Dancing With The Stars”.



As it turns out, Lawrence wasn't the only cast member to dabble in music. Although her music career was largely post-Blossom as well, Jenna von Oy released an album in 2007 called “Breathing Room”. But when the show was going on, Jenna was in a bit of a pickle. Although she had won the role of Six in “Blossom”, another show that she shot a pilot for was also picked up for a season. The show was a short-lived sitcom “Lenny”, which aired from 1990 to 1991, right around the same time that “Blossom” was being filmed. As a result, during the first season of “Blossom”, Jenna had to be put on recurring status while she honoured her commitment to “Lenny”. When Lenny went off the air in 1991, Jenna became a full cast member. But knowing that she was doing two sitcoms at the same time...that had to be a lot of pressure for her. Still, I think that she handled the stress of it very well. She even filmed a few television movies along the way both during and after “Blossom”. I wonder what she's doing now, come to think of it. I haven't heard from her in some time.

There's not a whole lot of information floating around for Ted Wass or Michael Stoyanov. Ted stepped away from acting shortly after “Blossom” wrapped up in 1995, and is now seen behind the scenes as a director. 



And Stoyanov left “Blossom” to go work in the world of comedy writing, taking on jobs for “Late Night With Conan O'Brien” and “Mad TV”.

And, then there's the star of the show, Mayim Bialik, whose own list of accomplishments deserve some accolades on their own. Much like Jenna von Oy, Bialik was committed to two shows at once when she won the part of Blossom. She was also tied to a FOX network show called “Malloy” when filming for “Blossom” began in late 1990. But “Malloy” crashed and burned after just half a dozen episodes, freeing Bialik to do “Blossom” full-time. During “Blossom's” last season, Bialik also held a recurring guest role on “The John Larroquette Show”, playing a girl named Rachel.

It wasn't until “Blossom” ended that we got to see Mayim really exhibit her coat of many colours, so to speak. In the decade since “Blossom” ended, she was a voice artist for many animated programs, appeared in a couple of feature films, and even earned herself a Ph.D in neuroscience!

How's that for impressive?



Of course, these days, Mayim has decided to go back to show business, and found that success did strike twice, as she won the role of Amy Farrah Fowler in “The Big Bang Theory” towards the end of the show's third season.

So, as you can see, the cast of “Blossom” managed to find a way to juggle several projects at once, and still managed to do quite well for themselves. I could be mistaken, but I don't think I've heard any scandalous stories at all regarding the “Blossom” cast at all. Of course, part of it could have been that they were simply too busy with all their side projects to actually get into much trouble, but that's merely speculation.

The point is that I admire all of these people for managing to put in their all in everything that they did. If anything, I'm almost sorry that I did miss the original run of “Blossom”, because based on everything that I read during the research I did for this blog, it did seem like a really decent show.

Who knows? Maybe I'll go online after this and watch the show's old episodes, so I can really find a way to appreciate the hard work that cast must have done to put the show together in addition to the other projects that they worked on during filming.

Well...while I still CAN anyway...

Thursday, January 19, 2012

The Only PIPA I Enjoy Is Middleton In This SOPA Opera

Before I begin this installment of my Thursday Confessional for today, there's an issue that I would like to bring up. One of which I'm sure most of you are all aware of, especially after the events of yesterday in several online communities.

Yesterday, several high-traffic sites (including Wikipedia and Craigslist just to name a couple) went dark in a show of solidarity against a couple of bills that the United States Congress is set to vote on.



These bills include the 'Stop Online Piracy Act' and the 'Protect Intellectual Property Act'. Most of you probably know of these bills as 'SOPA' and 'PIPA', though.

If these bills are passed in U.S. Congress, the changes to the Internet as we know it would be huge. And many of us (myself included) do not see this as such a good thing at all. The act would essentially hold people who are guilty of online copyright infringement responsible, and they could be subjected to harsh penalties.

The possibilities regarding this act could spell doom for millions of people who use the Internet each day from looking up recipes, to interacting with people socially, to threatening our own right to online free speech as we all know it. It's scary to think that if this law were passed, our right to free information might be severely compromised.

Just on a personal level, the passing of SOPA or PIPA would undoubtedly affect my blog, as well as several thousand blogs all over the world. If this law is passed, there's a good chance that my blog could be blocked to every American user who reads it.

As it so happens, my blog is most read by American citizens, followed closely by Canadian and United Kingdom residents. In short, with SOPA and PIPA, there's a good chance that APCAGTL will cease to exist, as well as thousands of other people who blog on a daily basis.

There's also evidence that the passing of SOPA or PIPA will further damage the economy, as these bills have the potential to cripple thousands of online businesses and services. The estimates are that millions of jobs in the United States alone could be lost, and millions more could be negatively affected by the laws if they are passed.

In short, if these laws are passed, it has the potential to do more harm than good. For everyone.

Fortunately, the voting supposedly doesn't begin until later on in the month, so there's still time to get active. And how we get active is by signing one of the online petitions that are floating around the Internet, begging U.S. Congress not to let these laws pass. While I do agree that the problem of piracy needs to be addressed, and a solution should be found, this is not the way to handle it. Don't punish everyone just because of the crimes of a select few.

If you wish to protest against SOPA and PIPA, there's lots of places that you can go to make yourself heard. Just click on each of these links below, and sign the petitions. Maybe it won't make a difference, but if you feel as strongly about this as I do, take the time, and take the chance. Your voice could make a difference between keeping our Internet the way it is, or transforming it into something out of George Orwell's '1984'.

https://www.google.com/landing/takeaction/

http://americancensorship.org/

http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/stop_sopa/

Make no mistake. Although this is an American issue, this WILL affect websites all over the world, including the possibility of this blog going dark.

With that sobering thought in mind, let's go ahead with this Thursday Confessional.

THURSDAY CONFESSION #3: I'm disgusted by people who claim to have MY best interests at heart when they don't have a clue what it is they're standing up for.

It really bothers me when shows are pulled from airwaves, or when books are banned because someone with a weak heart is offended by it. It's probably one of my biggest pet peeves.

I firmly believe that if someone is offended by content within a movie, book, or television show, they have only one of two choices. Take it or leave it.

If there's a movie that might have a scene that involves nudity, for example, there's lots of ways that people can handle it. They may watch the movie as it was meant to be watched. They can choose not to watch the movie. Those are really the only choices that would make sense.

But when someone goes all 'Helen Lovejoy' on the movie, writing dozens of letters to politicians, actors, directors, cinematographers, choreographers, fashion consultants, whoever worked on the movie, to tell them to stop producing such filth...well, I'm sorry, but I just don't agree with that at all.

What does it mean by going 'Helen Lovejoy' on someone? Well, I'll tell you.


Helen Lovejoy is a character on The Simpsons. She is the wife of Reverend Lovejoy. But, don't let this preacher's wife fool you. She may seem virtuous and serene at first glance, but once you get to know her, you'll almost be sorry you did. She even makes Marge Simpson look liberal in comparison, keeping in mind that Marge Simpson tried to get Itchy & Scratchy pulled from television herself (and that's a story that we'll get to a little later in this article).

Yeah, Helen Lovejoy is probably one of my least-liked Simpsons characters on the whole show. She ranks lower than Poochie the dog, Uter, Sherri & Terri, Lyle Lanley, Frank “Grimey” Grimes, and Crystal Meth.

(Crystal Meth being the illegitimate daughter of Brandine and Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel.)

The reason why I can't stand Helen Lovejoy? She's a total hypocrite.

She wants practically everything 'sinful' taken away from the world, and often makes the passionate plea “WON'T SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN?!?”


Yeah, that can get annoying real quickly.

I suppose that on one hand, you can look at her and say...well, you know something, at least she's standing true to the good old-fashioned morals that she was raised with, and standing up against something that she believes in.

Thing is, she doesn't.

I don't think that she cares about censorship all that much. I highly doubt that she even cares about the children at all. In fact, if you were to really go deep into Helen Lovejoy's psyche, you'd see that behind the pink sweater vest and squeaky voice, there's a really nasty woman inside that doesn't have even a shred of decency for mankind whatsoever.

Granted, her apathetic husband certainly doesn't do her any favours, but at least he's prone to having bursts of wisdom and genuine kindness deep inside his soul. Helen's just mean-spirited and nasty. While she makes a huge show being the wife of a preacher, and standing up against every piece of literature that is offensive, and magazine that is smutty, she's not doing it to protect everyone else from being corrupted. She's doing it to look important.

Just as I suspect that some of the supporters for SOPA and PIPA are doing by throwing their support for these potentially damaging bills. And, yes. I did go there.

Twenty-two years later, and Helen Lovejoy still has a lot to learn. Turns out, by gossiping about her neighbours and openly taking delight in other people's misfortunes, she's not really much better than the pseudo personality she's put on, claiming that she does what she does out of the goodness of her heart.

We all know by now that this isn't the case. She's just doing what she does to prove something to herself. No matter how bad she comes across or how smug she gets, as long as she gets what she wants, it's perfectly fine for her, regardless of how many people get hurt in the process.

I suspect that for however long The Simpsons last, Helen Lovejoy will be out there in full force, supporting bills that could take away every single one of our freedoms, completely oblivious to the full extent of what could happen if she did get her way. After all, if SOPA and PIPA existed in the world of Springfield, she'd have difficulty finding out gossip on her neighbours if her favourite web haunts were censored, wouldn't she?


One could argue that Helen Lovejoy isn't as bad as Marge Simpson though. It's no secret that the martiarch of the Simpson family has launched a slew of protests and campaigns to protect the innocence of children. And it is true that depending on the issue at hand, Marge Simpson has the potential to be just as obnoxious as Helen Lovejoy.

There was one episode though in which Marge was forced to rethink her stance on an issue, and once she had, she realized that she was incorrect in the way she approached it.


The episode was “Itchy & Scratchy & Marge”, which aired during the 1990/91 season of 'The Simpsons'. In that episode, Marge is horrified to learn that an accident in which Maggie clubs Homer over the head with a mallet could have been inspired by Maggie watching a cartoon short of 'The Itchy & Scratchy Show', a show known for Itchy the Mouse terrorizing Scratchy the Cat in a variety of cruel and inhuman methods.

Marge decides to take action against the show, despite protests from Bart and Lisa. With a group of mothers (including Helen Lovejoy and Maude Flanders, wife of incredibly religious neighbour Ned Flanders), she stands outside the studios where Itchy & Scratchy is produced, and launches a campaign against the cartoon. She claimed that the show was way too violent for children to be watching, and vowed to protest until the company took action. Of course, the company refused to listen at first, and the media spent more time mocking Marge's crusade than anything. She even was written into an episode of Itchy & Scratchy, and if you click here, you can see that it wasn't exactly an appearance that flattered her.


It wasn't until she became a guest on a talk show and passionately issues a plea to the viewing audience (in front of a clearly unprepared Krusty The Klown) to write the studio letters to replace the bloodshed with hugs and laughter that the message she was trying to get across was finally heard. Within days, the Itchy & Scratchy show was retooled to include 75% more warm fuzzies, and kids turned off their televisions in drones to go and play outside.

Apparently having Itchy & Scratchy loving and sharing just didn't quite have the same impact as fighting and biting, and the show really suffered as a result.

But then something happened that would rethink Marge's stance. Soon after Itchy & Scratchy changed their format, the very group that Marge helped found soon focused their attention on other forms of media that they could protest against to get censored or cleaned up.

Including works of classic art.

Have any of you ever seen the sculpture 'David' by famed Italian artist Michelangelo Buonarotti? I haven't seen it up close, but have seen pictures of it in various books and magazines. Let me show you a picture of the statue now.


It's definitely majestic and powerful. Oh, and the fact that he's completely naked? To me, it means nothing. It's meant to be art. I don't get offended by this statue at all. I mean, when I step out of the shower in the morning and look in the mirror, I'm not offended by what I see...aside from the fact that sometimes I wish I had the same physique as the damn statue.

But enough of that.

Anyway, when word got out that 'David' would be exhibited in Springfield as part of a cross-country tour, Marge's group urges her to protest the statue, saying that the statue in all its nakedness was offensive, and needed to be banned from Springfield.

Ah, but wait. Before the group could force 'David' into a pair of tighty-whities, Marge finally saw some sense, and declared that it was not right to censor a masterpiece such as 'David'. Naturally, some media outlets and members of her own group turned against her, and even called her out on her hypocrisy. They wondered how she could stand by one form of media, but wish for others to be censored due to indecency. When Marge had to admit that she didn't have an answer, the group disbanded, and Itchy & Scratchy returned to its winning formula.

To Marge, though, it didn't matter. In the end, she realized that she couldn't stop anyone from releasing or creating what they thought was art.

Because art, like everything else, is subjective.

Some may find it revolutionary and inspiring. Others may call it sick and depraved. But I do believe that everyone has to have some outlet to get it out there. If I don't like it, I might state my opinion, but it would take a lot to outrightly offend me. And even if it did, I'm more likely to sit back and watch as it collapses under the weight of scrutiny, rather than take action to have it removed. Even Marge Simpson must have lightened up a bit as she later agreed to do a spread for Playboy Magazine in recent years!



I strongly suspect that the fact that the SOPA and PIPA laws are garnering so much negative feedback from millions of people that they'll likely be shelved indefinitely. I certainly hope that this is the case.

If you look back on other instances where censorship was a factor, you'll see that some compromises were made. Take Tipper Gore and her Parents Music Resource Center, who took steps to get songs with offensive lyrics banned for good. A compromise was reached in that case, where Parental Advisory stickers were placed on album covers as a warning to consumers. Some people didn't like it, but at least the albums were still able to be sold as long as the sticker was clearly visible.

Perhaps a compromise could be reached in this case as well, which would ensure that people guilty of piracy would be prosecuted while people could still have the freedom to enjoy the media that is being broadcast. And we're certainly seeing some of this in action with several record and film companies opening up their own YouTube accounts to display their own content to members...some of which I've likely featured in this blog.

I'm certainly not looking to make a profit with this blog. It's just meant as a fun activity that I do each day to sharpen up my writing skills so that one day I can make a living with writing. I don't get paid any money to write this blog. If anything, the vast majority of these entries are positive in nature. It's all in good fun, and I enjoy doing this.

SOPA and PIPA is threatening my right to continue sharing this blog.

In the end, only you can decide what is right, and only you can choose whether to support the bills or not. All I ask is that you really do your research and know what your stance is before you form an opinion.

This blog post is just my own viewpoint.  All I ask is that we all retain the right to continue having them.