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Thursday, February 09, 2012

Keeping Up With The Electronics? Yeah, Right!

All right, so here we are.  Today is Thursday, and it’s the day of the week where I confess something to all of you.  Some of my confessions are funny, while some are more serious in nature, but all allow you to get to know me a little better.
But, here was my dilemma.  I was struggling to come up with a confession for this week’s edition.  I really had no idea what I would confess this week.  That’s not to say that I am completely out of things to talk about.  I certainly have a lot of things that I could share in this space.  This week though was a challenge.
It wasn’t until yesterday afternoon that I came up with the answer as to what I’m planning on confessing for today’s edition.  Yesterday afternoon, I was chatting with a friend of mine through Facebook shortly after posting yesterday’s blog entry on Merlin.  She had read it, commented on it, and we got to talking about how much we missed certain toys that we both had grown up with.  She had mentioned that she had wanted to find a Nintendo Game Boy.  I’m not talking about the current DS style models.  I mean the real, original, made in 1989 Game Boys with the greenish-yellow display screen.  I remember playing Game Boy back in the day, but I don’t own one anymore.  Then the subject of conversation switched to old video game consoles, and she brought up the Super Nintendo.



Unlike the Game Boy, I actually still have my Super Nintendo.  It’s twenty years old and yellowed with age, mind you, but I still owned it.  I even owned about a dozen game cartridges that went with the console.  The problem was that it had been at least five years since I had played it, and I had absolutely no idea if I even had all the pieces to hook it up.  I honestly didn’t even know if it still worked. 
So, anyway, we got to talking, and I agreed to grab the Super Nintendo console that I had, hooked it up, and crossed our fingers hoping that it would work.  And, imagine our surprise when it worked perfectly!  It was like a time warp to 1992 all over again.  Very surreal, indeed.



The thing that struck me as wonderful about the whole adventure in hooking up the Super Nintendo again was the fact that 20 years later, those games still seem to hold up very well.  They were enjoyable, challenging, and kept you entertained for hours of fun.  The graphics were simplistic, and certainly don’t hold a candle to current video games being released on more modern consoles, but it didn’t matter to us in the slightest.  It’s what we grew up with, and it’s good to see that two decades later, my friend and I found those games to be just as fun as they were back when we were ten year old children.
But, then again, as far as technology goes, I’ve always been a fan of older technology.  Fancy gizmos don’t impress me much at all.  And, that leads to today’s confession.

THURSDAY CONFESSION #6:  I have always been ten steps behind when it comes to the world of technology.  I’m perfectly okay with that.
You may have seen me ranting about this on my blog months ago, but I’ve talked about how I find cell phones to be more annoying than anything that could be invented in the technological world.  Yes, I do see that if used properly, they can be a great asset to one’s life.  Cell phones are handy for emergency purposes.  They can be used to dial 911 in a jiffy if someone is hurt, and a land line isn’t always available.  I know that police officers and detectives have used cell phone cameras to do surveillance on suspects in crimes.  I’ll even admit to having a Pay-As-You-Go cell phone myself to use for calling a taxi home, or to let people know that I might be late. 



But, that’s all I need.  A simple hand held phone used for calling people, and sending the odd text.  I don’t want to use a phone to go on the Internet, or play video games, or download an app that will provide me with a recipe on how to make perfect banana nut muffins.  The simpler it is, the better it is for me.  Truth be told, someone showed me their iPhone, and I was at a complete loss as to how to even turn it on, let alone how to make a call.
On a related note, I really don’t see why we have to be SO connected to each other at all times.  I’m constantly seeing people texting away on their phones for multiple hours on end...some of them even texting each other from right across the same room!  Completely baffling, isn’t it? 

Now, granted, I readily admit to being someone who communicates better through written word than spoken word.  At the same time, if someone were in the same room as me, the last thing that I would do is dig out my cell phone to text them.  It sounds silly, right?  Sad thing is, there’s some people who are that attached to their phones.  I could never be that absorbed in a hand held device...at least, not in a public place anyways.
I’ve also never really had much of an interest expressing a desire to acquire the latest gadgets and gimmicks.  I mean, yes, for game consoles, I owned a Nintendo and Super Nintendo.  After that, I sort of lost interest in newer game consoles.  For one, they were too expensive, and for another, the games that were being released for these units just didn’t seem as entertaining.  A standard PlayStation 3 game might have lots of bells and whistles to them, and I know quite a few teenagers and twenty-somethings that get a high out of playing these video games with top notch graphics and realistic violence.  Myself?  They bore me to tears.



In fact, I’ll let you in on another mini confession.  If one were to take a look at my PlayStation 2 and the library of games that I have within my collection, one will find that at least half of my games were ones that were re-released from older consoles.  I have Final Fantasy games on the PlayStation that were originally released from the Super Nintendo.  I have the Sega Genesis Collection for the PlayStation 2.  I even managed to get the Intellivision compilation for the PlayStation 2.  The Intellivision being a game console released before I was even born.  I even wrote about how the Intellivision was my very first video game console ten years after it was popular right HERE, and yet I still have fond memories of those older games.
Why is that?  I have the opinion that the more simplistic electronics were, the better.  I don’t need an iPad, iPod, iPhone, iWhatever, because iFind that iLive a better iLife without them.

I’m just as happy with a pad and paper, my CD’s and cassettes (or albums if you’re even more retro than I), and a landline phone as anyone who waits in line for umpteen hours to snag the latest updated electronic device.


And, while we’re on the subject of that, there is absolutely NOTHING in this world that would make me stand in line for half a day to buy.  I don’t care if it can download movies, prepare your taxes, or cut a metal pipe in half.  There’s nothing that would make me go that crazy over a hunk of plastic that will be rendered obsolete in a couple of years either.  Why would I when I have electronics that are still just as good?

My parents currently have a microwave oven that could be classified as classic, or old.  Their microwave doesn’t have a digital clock or buttons.  Instead, they have dials like the old-school televisions used to have.  You turn the top dial to defrost or cook, and then the bottom dial sets the timer anywhere from sixty seconds to sixty minutes.  It’s even designed in such a way that there’s faux wood paneling surrounding the outside.

Would you believe that my parents got that microwave as an anniversary gift for their 25th wedding anniversary...which took place in August 1990?!?
That’s right.  The microwave oven that my parents currently use has been in service for almost twenty-two years.  And in 2012, it still runs just as well as it did back in 1990.  Good luck getting that kind of use from a current model.  I think my workplace has replaced the microwave ovens in our employee lounge half a dozen times since I started there.  And, I’ve only been working there since 2004.  That’s an average of one microwave a year.  Not a great track record.

I think that might influence my reluctance to go follow the latest electronic trends.  For one, I find older appliances to be of better quality than current models.  Which, I guess makes sense, given the level of outsourcing we’ve seen lately.  With cheaper labour, you get cheaper product...but the cheaper products are often of cheaper quality, which is unfortunate.
Let’s put it this way.  I’d rather have a microwave from 1990 than a microwave from 2010. 

But, it’s also true with newer electronics and games.  I see lots of people lining up for these sorts of gadgets because they want it for status symbols.  But one thing I always noticed was that some of these gadgets weren’t necessarily tested properly before they hit stores.  As a result, some of these gadgets were filled with so many bugs and so many problems that they ended up being more frustrating than enjoyable.  I purposely wait until the items are rendered old news before snatching them up.  They cost less, and by that point (hopefully), all the bugs have been found and repaired.  It’s basically a win-win for me!
Of course, this always leaves me being woefully behind in the world of technology.  But I’ll deal with it.  I’m doing fine right now.  As long as I have a working computer that will allow me to keep writing this blog, that’s really all I need!

Wednesday, February 08, 2012

The Magic a Hand-Me-Down Merlin Brought...

When I was a child – particularly during the first four or five years of my life – the idea of having brand new toys to play with was considered to be a luxury.
The truth of the matter was that I don’t remember my parents being able to buy me a whole whack of brand new toys from Woolco, or Zellers, or whatever department stores existed in my hometown between 1981 and 1986.  The reason being that money at my household was extremely tight.  With all expenses going towards rent, food, laundry, and other basic necessities, it didn’t leave a whole lot of disposable income.  Oh, sure, I would always get brand new boxes of Crayola crayon 8-packs and colouring books.  Back in those days, both of those items cost less than a dollar each.  But, I very rarely ended up getting brand new toys.  Most of my toys back in those days were hand-me-downs from my sisters.
(Let me make one thing perfectly clear though before I go on.  Aside from a couple of stray Barbie dolls that my sisters owned – which I think I buried in the backyard of my childhood home, come to think of it – they mostly played with toys that were considered to be suitable for both boys and girls.)

And although a lot of the toys that I ended up playing with were the hand-me-downs of my sisters (which ranged in age from ten to twenty years old), I really didn’t care.  I loved playing with them.
Now, mind you, I was only five years old at the time.  To me, toys were toys.  It didn’t matter whether the toy was fifteen years old or fifteen minutes old.  As long as they were fun to play with, and as long as they kept me entertained, they were proven winners.

And, let’s also take into account the fact that toys that were made during the sixties and seventies were much better quality than some of the El Cheapo toys that are being mass produced today.
I think some of my fondest childhood memories stemmed from playing with those classic toys.  And, believe me, I had plenty of classic toys to play with.  There were buckets and buckets of Lego and Duplo sets that I spent hours building things with.  There was the classic Fisher-Price schoolhouse set that I think I spent more time decorating with magic markers and crayons than actually playing with it.  Luckily, my sister managed to restore it to its former glory (although it took a lot of scrubbing).  I also had these alphabet blocks that were in green and blue that were actually shaped like the letters themselves.  I couldn’t tell you exactly how old the letter blocks were, but they had to have been manufactured in the 1960s sometime.  And, before it got smashed accidentally, I used to play with an abacus all the time.  It was reportedly my favourite toy back when I was two or three.  Come to think of it, I should try logging onto eBay so I can find a replacement one day.  That would be nice.

Eventually, as I grew older, I ended up getting new toys for birthday and Christmas presents, and certainly I enjoyed and appreciated everything that I received as a gift.  But, here’s the thing.  After a while, I would always go back to the retro toys that I grew up with.  Classic Hot Wheels cars.  Old school board games.  Stuffed animals and action figures that were older than I was.  To me, that’s what my early childhood was all about.  Not who had to have the newest toys.  It was about being happy with what you had and making the best of things.  It’s one life lesson that sadly some adults could benefit from.  I almost wish I could go back to those carefree days in which I played with my retro-style toys because I think that those old toys helped get me through the good and the bad.
Certainly when I was in school, and I saw that a lot of the kids had all sorts of new toys that I knew that I would likely never get, it did make me feel bad...but only for a little while.  Once I got home, and I got right back to playing with the very toys that brought me so much happiness over the years, it was like being reunited with old friends.

The blog subject for this Wednesday is one of these retro toys that I grew up playing with.  This is a toy that I have a lot of fond memories of, even though it was first manufactured three years before I was born.  I honestly have no idea where it came from.  All that I know was that it belonged to my sister (who got it around the time she turned eight), and I saw her playing with it one day.  I asked if I could play with it, she said yes, and somehow I never gave it back.
What a nice little brother I was, eh?



The toy in question was the 1978 electronic game seen above.  It was known simply as Merlin.  Originally made by Parker Brothers, the electronic game (which kind of resembled a 1980s style cell phone) was hugely popular when it hit store shelves.  Reportedly, the game sold almost five million units during its peak in popularity, which was in the late 1970s and early 1980s. 
The game was created by Bob Doyle, a man who held a Ph.D from Harvard University, and who worked at NASA.  It was a simple design...eleven buttons that somewhat resembled a standard touchtone phone design, each button having a red LED light inside.  The original game console contained six mini-games that players could play to their hearts content.  In order to play these games, all one had to do was hit the corresponding number between one and six to launch the game.  The buttons on the bottom of the Merlin game were used to select computer opponents, and whether to start a new game or continue the same game.  These six games were basic games to play, but they could be challenging and fun.

These games – as well as the corresponding buttons – on the original Merlin were...

1 – TIC TAC TOE (X’s were blinking dots, O’s were non-blinking dots)

2 – MUSIC MACHINE – (each button represented a different tone where players could compose their own instrumentals)

3 – ECHO – (similar to Simon, players had to memorize the patterns on the grid and re-create them)

4 – BLACKJACK 13 – (players had to get as close to a total of 13 points without going over)

5 – MAGIC SQUARE – (pattern game similar to ‘Lights Out’)

6 – MINDBENDER – (similar game to Mastermind)

Most of the games included with Merlin were standard games that many people had seen before.  However, the ‘Music Machine’ game was revolutionary at the time.  Not only was the game considered to be one of the earliest electronic sequencers (as Merlin allowed sequences of notes to be recorded and played back), but it also was a game that doubled as a mini-synthesizer.
Needless to say, game #2 was the game that I ended up playing the most!

But really, I loved playing with Merlin.  Some of the best days of my early childhood was spent playing that thing.  When I was sick with the flu, I would play Tic-Tac-Toe while downing gallons of ginger ale down.  When there was nothing on television, I would play Blackjack 13, not even knowing how to play it, but still being happy with it.  When the weather outside was too nasty and dangerous to go out and play, I was content staying inside playing with Merlin.  It was hours of non-stop fun.
Well, that is until the batteries died in it, and I had to beg my parents for new ones. 



I guess playing Merlin helped fuel my love for hand-held video games.  I have a Nintendo 3DS that I play often...and in a throwback to my sister’s old Merlin, I even bought the red one!  If only I could find a DS game that resembled the classic Merlin toy, I’d be set!
I really have no idea whatever happened to the Merlin toy I loved so much.  I think one day when I was in my teen years, the game just ceased to function, and no battery could turn it back on.  It was a sad day when I had to let it go for good, but being reminded of all the good times that I shared with that red plastic toy will remain with me until the day I breathe my last breath.  I don’t think any other toy that I have ever owned could have had such an impact on me.



My Sister’s Merlin - 1980-1997

Although, I have heard that Merlin has since been revamped and re-released recently by Milton Bradley toys.  If that’s the case, I’d like to try and buy one to see if it’s exactly like the classic one that my sister and I used to play with.  It’d be a nice little retro throwback.


Barring all that, I also heard that a version of Merlin called “Merlin: The 10th Quest) was released in 1995, which included nine games instead of six.  Some of the games were the same as the classic Merlin, but some of them were brand new.  And, this Merlin worked along the same lines as a puzzle, or role playing game, where each game that was won would take you closer to a hidden tenth game, that was both challenging and fun. 
I never owned the 1995 version though.  I imagine that I probably would have liked it though.  Hmmm...maybe a trip to eBay for that game is worth checking out too.

Anyway...that’s my Merlin story.  I hope you enjoyed it!
BONUS QUESTION:  Do you have a childhood toy that brought you much love and joy just like my secondhand Merlin toy brought me?  I’d love to hear your tales!

Tuesday, February 07, 2012

February 7, 1935

We're going back in time to our earliest date yet since the Tuesday Timeline. February 7, 1935.



But before we go back in time to see what was so significant about this date in history, let's take a look at some of the other significant events that have happened on this date.

There were quite a few famous people who were born on February 7. Among them are James Spader, Garth Brooks, Robert Smigel, Robyn Lively, Jason Gedrick, Eddie Izzard, Steve Nash, Ashton Kutcher, and Tina Majorino.

Some famous people have died on February 7. Physicist Galileo Ferraris, tire manufacturer Harvey Firestone, blues guitarist Guitar Slim, rapper Big Pun, actress/singer Dale Evans, and Jack Cover (inventor of the taser), all passed away on this date.

And, February 7 was quite the busy day in history as well. Some of the events that happened on this date are as follows.

It was on this date in...

1863 – HMS Orpheus sinks off the coast of Auckland, New Zealand. 189 people lose their lives.

1900 - British troops fail in third attempt to lift Siege of Ladysmith during Second Boer War.

1904 – A fire destroys 1,500 buildings in a little over a day in the city of Baltimore, Maryland.

1940 - “When you wish upon a star!” Walt Disney's Pinocchio debuts in theaters.'

1962 – The United States bans all Cuban imports and exports.

1974 – The nation of Grenada gains independence from the United Kingdom.

1986 – Haitian president Jean-Claude Duvalier flees, ending a 28 year rule by the family. Exactly five years later, the first democratically-elected president, Jean-Bertrand Aristide, is sworn in.

1995 – Ramzi Yousef, the mastermind of the 1993 bombing of the World Trade Center in New York City, is arrested in Pakistan.

2009 – Australian bushfires in Victoria kill 173 (including Australian presenter Brian Naylor), in what would be known as the country's worst ever natural disaster.

So, as you can see, February 7 was quite a tumultuous date in history, depending on where in the world you might have been at the time.

But today's posting is one that is somewhat on the lighthearted side. As stated before, we're going back to the year 1935 for this edition of the Tuesday Timeline. It's when a board game was invented. A board game that has been subject to many updates and versions over the years, but the classic version remains the most popular and beloved.

A board game that has evoked a lot of infighting at my household.



The board game is Parker Brothers “Monopoly”. And, would you believe that I managed to find an online version of Monopoly to post in this blog? All you need to do is click HERE to play it, if you like.



Anyway, while the first game of Monopoly was invented on February 7, 1935, its history can apparently be traced back to the early 1900s. In 1904, an American woman named Elizabeth J. Magie Phillips filed a patent for a game in which she hoped could explain the single tax theory of Henry George (intending to illustrate the negative aspect of concentrating land in private monopolies). Her game, “The Landlord's Game” was created and commercially published in 1906, with a revised version put out in 1924 (including street names). It is said that the 1924 version of the game was the version that would later inspire the game known as “Monopoly”.

Actually, the whole story behind the creation of Monopoly is a rather complex and interesting tale. Much too interesting for me to even attempt to condense into one blog entry. But, if you'd like to read a more detailed account of how Monopoly came to be, please click on the link below.


And, yes, while I know that it's from Wikipedia, the footnotes at the bottom do back up said information. Seriously, if you get a chance to look at it, it's really a great read.

Besides, the history of Monopoly is not what I really want to discuss in this blog entry. Instead, I kind of want to make this blog entry more personal. To celebrate the 77th anniversary of the classic board game, I thought that I'd share some of my own personal memories of playing this game.

It's filled with the triumph of having hotels on Boardwalk, the anguish of not getting to be the playing piece that I wanted to be, and the funny ways that I attempted to pronounce street names.



I guess I should explain that one of my first experiences with Monopoly was when I was seven years old. My sister had gotten the board game for a Christmas gift, and of course, I wanted to play.

One problem. At age seven, I had no idea how to play the game. I had no concept of deeds, or utilities, or houses, or even what it meant when you landed on 'Free Parking'. I think that when I was younger, all I wanted to do was own all of the blue and purple properties, because those properties were my favourite colours. And, if anyone else that I played with bought any blue and purple properties, I would get very, very upset.

(And with good reason, considering that two of the blue properties were Boardwalk and Park Place, which were the two most expensive properties in the whole game. Of course, Mediterranean Avenue and Baltic Avenue were the two most worthless properties, so I guess it kind of balanced out.)



(Then again, in newer versions of the game, Mediterranean and Baltic Avenue are now brown, which to me is just weird. But, then again, I think that our version of Monopoly was one of the only ones in which the Chance cards were blue in colour and not orange.)

But, enough rambling.

As I explained before, when I was younger, my only concern was collecting the properties of my favourite colours. But as I grew older, my siblings taught me what the real purpose of the game was. The purpose was to try and buy properties at low prices, and develop them with houses and hotels. But, you couldn't just build a house on North Carolina Avenue whenever you felt like it. There were rules that you had to follow. If one only owned one green property, then one couldn't build anything on it. You could charge people rent if they landed on the space you owned, but that's all you could do. And, at the most, you'd be lucky to earn a little over twenty dollars. But, if one were to own Pacific and Pennsylvania Avenue in addition, then one would have a monopoly of all three green properties, and then and only then could you build houses and hotels. And, once houses and hotels were built on properties, their value would double, triple, or quadruple in total.

Let's put it this way...you wouldn't want to land on Boardwalk where there is a hotel on it. For one, the rent would be over two thousand dollars. And, well, considering that one begins the game of Monopoly with only fifteen hundred dollars, well, you best hope that the Community Chest has been good to you, or else, you'd be looking at ditching your Marvin Gardens property to make up the difference.

In all the times, I would play Monopoly, my strategy changed. Rather than trying to get all the properties that were my favourite colours (because let's face it, three of the four were kind of low-value properties), I always looked at trying the primary colour strategy. The four groups of the most expensive properties to own were red, yellow, green, and dark blue. And, those four groups were ones that I really strived to get in that game. Of course, it didn't always work that way, as usually, I would only manage to get half of those properties, if I were lucky. But it was a far better strategy than the one I had used beforehand. I think my best game of Monopoly that I had ever played was one in which I had a Monopoly on yellow, green, and dark blue...let's just say that winning the game became easy once I had managed to build hotels on every green property I owned.

Another memory I have of playing Monopoly stems from the playing pieces of the game. I think almost everyone who has ever played Monopoly has a favourite playing piece, and they will try everything they can to be that piece. I know some people enjoy being the thimble. Some people enjoy being the dog. Nobody I knew ever wanted to be the wheelbarrow.



My favourite playing piece? The car. I loved being the car. I remember always wanting to play Monopoly as the car because I always seemed to end up having better luck whenever I got to be the car. My stellar Monopoly game in which I had most of the expensive properties was won while I was the car.

In case you didn't get that, I wanted to be the car!

And, yet, whenever my family played Monopoly, I hardly ever got to be the car.

Why?

Well, unfortunately for me, I was the youngest in the family. And there was a rule for Monopoly that we'd choose tokens from OLDEST to YOUNGEST. You know, come to think of it, it was my sister's idea to have that rule, and more often than not, SHE took the car token. She set me up!!! By the time the tokens were all doled out, all I had left to choose from was the dog and the wheelbarrow tokens...neither of which I liked very much. Heck, I would have even been the stupid iron! But, no. I ended up being a token that I hated and because of it, I was always in a sour mood whenever we played. Sour moods lead to poor decision making, and before you knew it, I would often end up having to pawn off my properties in order to make ends meet.

Not that I'm superstitious or anything like that, of course. It was just that whenever I got to be the car, I always ended up winning.

Take that as a little note whenever you play Monopoly with me. You touch my car piece, and I shove a bag full of plastic houses down your throat.

I'm glad that we have an understanding!

Oh, and then there's all the properties that were way too big of words to pronounce, so I ended up naming them some rather unusual names.



For instance, take Connecticut Avenue. The first time I ever landed on that square, I had absolutely no idea of how to say Connecticut. I didn't even know what a Connecticut was (it's a state, as well as a real life street in Atlantic City, New Jersey, where almost all the locations of the American Monopoly game were named after). So, I pronounced it as best as I could, and well...Connecticut Avenue became Connie-Cut Avenue. And, yes, my sisters still make fun of me for that.



It wasn't the only place name I goofed up on. I also screwed up the name of Kentucky Avenue. The only thing that I knew about Kentucky was the fact that they had fried chicken that came in a bucket (or so the seven year old logic I possessed back in those days told me). At this point, I knew how to say the word Kentucky, but when I landed on the square during one game, I must have thought of the Kentucky Fried Chicken commercials that I had seen on television, and I accidentally called it Ken-Chicky Avenue. Again, cue the hysterical laughter. I tell you, my face still gets as red as the property deed that Ken-Chicky...ahem...Kentucky Avenue is printed on every time I think of that one.



Of course, maybe I get that from my sisters. They were known for calling the B & O Railroad the B.O. Railroad (or body odour Railroad). Of course, they were giggling up a fuss every time they landed on that railroad, but I could never figure out why this was the case. Oh, and while we're on the subject, is Reading Railroad pronounced like REED-ing or RED-ing? I have heard it said both ways, but have thought that there was only one definitive answer. So, which is the correct pronounciation? Inquiring minds want to know?

That about wraps it up for my own personal experiences with the game of Monopoly. But, again, the game has been out for 77 years. I'm sure over the years, everyone in the world has had their own experiences with the game, whether they're playing it in their living rooms, or at the various Monopoly competitions held globally. I've shared some of my memories playing Monopoly, and I hope some of you will do the same.



Monopoly. Making families fight over the car token since February 7, 1935.

Monday, February 06, 2012

Having An Affair? Fatal Attraction Delivers!

I think it’s a safe assumption to state that for most of us, we have only the best of intentions when it comes to the idea of getting married.



So many people I have spoken to over the years have had almost idyllic views of what they believe marriage is all about.  They fall in love with the man or woman of their dreams, have a lavish marriage in an old-fashioned church, a fancy reception in the middle of a huge banquet hall, a honeymoon filled with romance and passion, and then from there, they live the next sixty years happily ever after.
Certainly for many of us, we all have those dreams of having a marriage that is as perfect as perfect should be (keeping in mind that there is no such thing as a perfect marriage).  And, in a lot of cases, people manage to have happy, stable, loving marriages for many, many years.

So, why is it that in a given year of new marriages, half of them end up in divorce?

Truth be told, there’s a number of reasons why this might be the case.  Sometimes, couples try everything they can to make their marriage work, but it just falls apart.  In some cases, a marriage can split up because of job pressures.  Sometimes, the couple just aren’t ready to handle the responsibility of marriage.  And, I’m sure that in many marriages - especially ones based in Hollywood – the term “irreconcilable differences” says it all.

However, it seems to me, just based on actual couples that I know who have split up, that one cause seems to be near the top five reasons why marriages break up.

When one (or both) people in the marriage have an affair!

Yes, the dreaded affair.  I’m sure we all have known someone in our lives who have kicked their partner to the curb after it is discovered that they have been cheating on them with somebody else.  It could be a nanny, a neighbour, a spouse’s friend, or even a family member of a spouse! 
And the thing with affairs is that sooner or later, the truth does come out.  And, I’m not just talking about soap operas and prime-time dramas either...when affairs are exposed in the real world, they can get really ugly.  All you need to do is Google the name “Betty Broderick” as a reminder of how affairs can sometimes be deadly.

I mean, while we’re on the subject of affairs, I’ll never quite understand why so many men and women feel a need to cheat on their spouses.  I mean, if the marriage is so terrible, then why would you stay married in the first place?  I suppose allowances could be made if the marriage was abusive, and the person embarked on an affair with somebody who was a lot more respectful to them than their own spouse.   But, for the most part, I just don’t understand it.  It almost seems as if the idea of marriage is being made somewhat of a mockery because so many people feel that it’s okay to cheat whenever they feel like it.  Believe it or not, there’s actually a website that goes by the name “Ashley Madison” that ENCOURAGES married people to have affairs on the side.  I didn’t think it would be possible that a site like that could even exist, but apparently it does.  And, apparently, it’s very popular.

And, that fact kind of makes me throw up in my mouth a little bit.

I suppose that my having an opinion on affairs and marriages might not mean much, especially since I am currently an unmarried man.  But, I’d like to think that if I ever get lucky enough to find someone to become my wife, I would be totally committed to her, as well as the marriage that we have.  Isn’t that why we practice the wedding custom of exchanging vows?  I would hope that the vows I take would hold up as long as we both shall live, as I’m sure that most people who get married do.  Unfortunately for some, those vows for whatever reason are broken (or worse, not taken very seriously), and the marriage fails. 
But if you’re one of those people who feel a need to cheat on your wife or husband because you aren’t satisfied in your own marriage, I really think that you should read this blog entry for today’s Monday Matinee.  It’s a movie about a man who is supposedly living the perfect life with a beautiful wife and child who decides to engage in a quickie affair with a business colleague while the rest of his family goes out of town.  It’s steamy, passionate, and basically a good time to be had for all.  But when the man realizes what a mistake it was, and realizes just how good he has it at home, he tries to break off the connection with his weekend fling.  But what happens when his weekend fling decides that a weekend isn’t good enough?  What happens when she loses her ever-loving mind, and goes out of her way to make sure that she gets her man, no matter who gets hurt in the process?

Why, one would likely call that a fatal attraction, wouldn’t you think?


As it so happens, today’s Monday Matinee is the 1987 film “Fatal Attraction”, starring Michael Douglas, Glenn Close, and Anne Archer, in what I like to call the love triangle from hell.
As far as the critical reception for the film goes, it did very well.  It was the second highest grossing film of 1987, and it received six Academy Award nominations, including acting nominations for both Archer and Close.

TRIVIA:  According to a People Magazine book celebrating 1980s Pop Culture, Glenn Close reportedly lost 15 pounds prior to filming so she could achieve a ‘leaner, meaner look’ for the movie.
Our story begins in Manhattan, New York, where attorney Dan Gallagher (Douglas) lives with his wife, Beth (Archer) and daughter Ellen (Ellen Hamilton Latzen).  On the surface, it seems as though Dan has got the perfect life.  He and Beth seem happy to be together, as their daughter watches Christine and Vanessa get slimed on “You Can’t Do That On Television”.  Certainly within the first fifteen minutes of the movie, you’d never suspect that Dan would be the type who would do something foolish to screw things up, right?

Enter Alexandra Forrest (Close), better known as Alex. 
Alex certainly looked as if she could turn heads back in the late 1980s.  With her big, curly hair, designer clothes, and a figure that most women would kill to have, it didn’t take long for Alex to get Dan’s attention.  Alex works as an editor for a publishing company in New York, and as it turns out, they end up hitting it off at a party.  They get to talking, and find that they enjoy each other’s company.  And when Beth and Ellen go out of town for a weekend, Dan decides to give in to temptation, and has a passionate affair with Alex.  I’m talking sex.  Passionate sex.  Thrusting around in a moving elevator sex.

And, no, I don’t have any clips to show you of this in action, because I’m pretty sure that they would be deleted from most video sharing sites.  But, take my word for it.  They’re quite steamy.


But it seems as though each person looked at the affair from different perspectives.  To Dan, it was just a little bit of fun, and was only meant to be a weekend fling.  He was fine with not letting his wife know about it, and was prepared to live life as if it didn’t even happen.  Alex, on the other hand, seemed to believe that this was the first couple of days of the rest of their lives.  Dan was the perfect man for her.  It didn’t matter to her if he were married or not.  She would have him.
So, Alex began to try and emotionally manipulate Dan by doing some rather...shall we say...insane things?  Check out this clip below...and warning, this clip really isn’t suitable for younger readers.



Yeah, that wasn’t disturbing at all. 


Needless to say, Alex’s little suicide attempt may have gotten Dan’s attention, but Dan was in no mood to play games.  He thought that after talking with Alex, and helping bandage up her wounds that it was all done and over with, but it wasn’t to be.  Alex started stalking him at work, calling his secretary numerous times.  She called his home at all hours of the day and night, hanging up whenever Beth answered the phone.  She even told Dan that their affair resulted in her becoming pregnant, and that he had to accept responsibility for their unborn child, causing Dan even more stress.


The final straw came when Alex arrives at Dan’s apartment (which has been put up for sale).  She tells Beth that she is interested in the property, and Beth happily introduces Dan to Alex, not having any sort of clue as to what had transpired between the two.  Of course, at that time, Beth had no reason to be suspicious, as to her, Alex seemed like a woman filled with charm and sophistication.  But Dan knew the danger beneath, and he had enough of it.  As you’ll see in this memorable clip from the movie, Dan means business...but then again, so does Alex.


Somehow, I think Dan ignoring Alex only scratched the surface of what really made Alex Forrest so deranged.  But, by this point, Dan had thought that the worst was over.  With the apartment being sold, Dan moved his family to a house located in the nearby town of Bedford, so he assumed that it would be the last that he would ever see of Alex Forrest.
He thought wrong.

His getting out of town only served to make Alex even crazier.  She sent him tape recorded messages oozing with verbal abuse, she pours acid all over his car inside a parking garage, and in a scene that likely made animal activists incredibly upset, Alex did the absolute unthinkable to little Ellen’s rabbit.  And, I must warn you, this scene is quite disturbing.


Have you ever wondered how the phrase ‘bunny-boiler’ came about?  After watching this clip, I’m sure you now have an idea.


And the death of Ellen’s rabbit was the catalyst towards Dan finally revealing the whole affair to his hurt and bewildered wife, Beth.  To say that she doesn’t take the news well at all is quite the understatement.  She’s absolutely furious with him (and she should be, for he was the one who caused this mess in the first place), and orders him out of the house for good. 
Of course, now that Dan has told Beth of the affair, there really was no stopping him.  By confessing all, he could not put a restraining order on Alex, and Alex really had nothing to hold against him anymore.  His only mistake was letting Alex know that he had told all.  It set off a chain of events that would lead to our film’s conclusion.
Without Beth or Dan knowing, Alex somehow manages to pick up Ellen from school (which you can tell this is an old movie, because schools nowadays almost require a person to show three pieces of identification to even set foot on a school playground), and takes her to an amusement park.  Meanwhile, a frantic Beth drives all over town, trying to find Ellen.  When Beth is injured in a car accident as a result of this, she is taken to hospital while Alex brings Ellen home. 



It doesn’t take long for Dan to put two and two together, and he drives over to Alex’s apartment to physically confront her over everything that had happened.  Alex tries to kill him by stabbing him with a knife, but Dan overpowers her.  He later contacts the police, who agree to bring her in should they find her, and Beth eventually forgives Dan for his indiscretions.

But, that’s not quite how the movie ends.  There’s one final scene that takes place that wraps everything up quite nicely.  But, while the scene is powerful and exciting to watch, I can’t post it because it will spoil the ending.  Though, if you really want to see it, it’s currently posted on YouTube.
TRIVIA:  The ending that the audiences watched was not the original ending.  Originally, Alex was supposed to kill herself, and make it look like Dan had killed her.  However, when this ending was screened at a test screening, audiences didn’t really like it.  The second ending was shot in a three week period after principal filming wrapped up.

So, let “Fatal Attraction” be a warning to all of you who feel a need to stray from a cozy marriage for a little bit of fun on the side.  As this movie clearly shows, you don’t really get to know the person that you’re cheating with until it’s too late.  Had Dan not gotten involved with Alex in the first place, then his life would not have been filled with so much fear and anxiety.  Of course, had Dan not gotten involved with Alex, she would have likely made someone else’s life a misery.  It’s a classic Catch 22 hypothetical scenario, no matter how you look at it.
It’s been 25 years since “Fatal Attraction” came out, and even now, it’s still socially relevant (well, aside from Glenn Close’s really bad 1980s perm).  Glenn Close admits that she still gets stopped on the street by people who have told her that she scared them.  She has even had men tell her that watching her on “Fatal Attraction” saved their marriage!  I guess that in their case, they may have been tempted to have a quickie on the side, but after seeing how crazy Alex was, they chose not to.  It probably was a wise move.

I mean, after watching “Fatal Attraction”, it certainly doesn’t make me see affairs in a romantic view (not that I did beforehand).  If anything, it kind of puts me off of even having one in the first place more than ever. 
I suppose looking at Alex through a more compassionate stance, you sort of feel a bit sorry for her.  All she wanted was to be loved.  Sure, the way she went about it was frightening and insane...but it had to be tough, loving someone that deep down she knew she couldn’t have, but was too blind to see it.  And, Dan probably didn’t help her mental stability much either by giving her false hope.

That said, if there was an Alex Forrest approaching me on the street, I’d probably try my best to cross it, no matter what colour the traffic signal is showing!

Sunday, February 05, 2012

Different Shades Of True Blue

Today is Sunday, February 5, and for millions of you out there reading this, today is a big day. It's Super Bowl Sunday, and I imagine that many of you are putting the finishing touches on your Super Bowl parties.  You know what I mean...buying nachos and salsa for snacks, making a run to the liquor and beer stores, laundering your sports jerseys and setting up the 55-inch big screen television to watch the game in style.  Some people get incredibly obsessed with the sport of football, and the Super Bowl is the granddaddy of all games.
This year marks the forty-sixth Super Bowl, and I’m sure that Giants and Patriots fans all over North America are waiting in anticipation for the opening kickoff.  But, there’s one person that I know of who has absolutely no interest in the game.


Me.


Some people who are reading this blog entry right now might believe that by admitting this, I’m giving up my ‘man card’, but I have never liked watching sporting events on television.  Mind you, I never liked playing sporting events either, but that’s a different tale altogether.  But, I just can’t bring myself to sit in front of a television watching a sport that I really have no interest in.  That’s not only limited to football either.  That could apply for any sport, like golf, tennis, wrestling (though some claim it’s not really a sport), baseball, basketball, and hockey.


(I can’t even begin to tell you all the dirty looks I get from my fellow Canadians when I tell people that I am not a hockey fan!  It’s almost equivalent to ripping out their still-beating hearts and stomping on them with spiked shoes.)


But the way I see it, we all have our interests and our likes.  I’m just not a sports fan.  I’ve never been skilled in any sports (save for maybe volleyball and bowling), and I’ve never liked watching them.  But, that’s just me.

That’s not to say that non-football fans can’t enjoy the Super Bowl.  Many do.  The game does provide a chance for people to get together and socialize, and nobody can deny that it’s one of the best days for people to fill up on pork rinds, chicken wings, and pepperoni pizza.  There’s also those Super Bowl commercials that cost millions to make, but yet are some of the most creative and eye-catching ones ever made.  I know several people who tune into the Super Bowl just to see the commercials alone!
And then there’s always the halftime show.  During the first few years of the Super Bowl, the halftime shows usually showcased marching bands, but in recent years, the halftime shows are headlined by an artist or band.  The tradition for huge stars performing at the Super Bowl began roughly around the early 1990s, as artists like Gloria Estefan and New Kids On The Block performed.  But it wasn’t until 1993 when Michael Jackson performed the halftime show that ratings really skyrocketed for the event.  Since then, at least one big-named performer has been tied to the event.

Other artists who have performed at the halftime show in past Super Bowls include Prince, Shania Twain, Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers, The Rolling Stones, Bruce Springsteen, The Black Eyed Peas, and Janet Jackson (who along with Justin Timberlake was responsible for coining the term ‘wardrobe malfunction’).
This year’s Super Bowl is no exception, as the artist featured in the halftime show today is one of the biggest selling female artists in history. 





I’m talking about Madonna, of course.
With Madonna being the headlining entertainer at the Super Bowl, she certainly has a huge selection of songs that she could perform.  Though the final list of songs hasn’t been officially confirmed yet, word is that she is set to play her newest song "Give Me All Your Luvin", as well as two or three classic favourites.

I bet there’s one song though that Madonna will choose not to sing.  After all, the last time she performed today’s Sunday Jukebox entry live in concert was reportedly back in 1987!  The song itself comes from the album cover that I posted earlier in this blog.
The album ‘True Blue’ could be considered Madonna's most successful album, selling 26 million copies overall..  I actually have this album in my own personal music collection.  It was the biggest selling album of 1986, and of the nine singles that were recorded for the album, five of them were released and became huge hits.  The first release from the album, “Live To Tell”, was a number one smash, as were “Papa Don’t Preach” and “Open Your Heart”.  That’s right.  “True Blue” spawned three number one hits, the most of any album Madonna has ever released.  A fourth single, “La Isla Bonita”, cracked the top five, peaking at #4 in 1987.

As for the fifth single, it was released third, in between “Papa Don’t Preach” and “Open Your Heart”.  It also did very well on the charts, peaking at #3 (and reaching #1 in Canada and the United Kingdom).  Yet, it’s also a song that is more or less forgotten, and is very rarely performed by Madonna.  Why is that?
First, let’s see the video for the song.  Well...one of the videos that is.



ARTIST: Madonna
SONG: True Blue
ALBUM: True Blue
DATE RELEASED: September 29, 1986
PEAK POSITION ON THE BILLBOARD CHARTS: #3

(Now do you see why I’ve made this entire blog entry in blue?)


Like other Madonna albums, the title track of the "True Blue" album became a single.  Released in September 1986, this version of the video was the one that I remember watching.  Madonna dancing in front of a blue background with dancers wearing blue (one of whom is played by actress Debi Mazar), and well, the whole video was well...blue.




But, it wasn’t the only music video made for this particular single.


The version up above was the professional version that Madonna had filmed for the international market, directed by James Foley.  But during the summer of 1986, a contest was held by MTV.  All viewers had to do was create a video for Madonna’s “True Blue” video, and if they won, their video would premiere on MTV and become the official American version.  If you like, you can click on THIS LINK to watch the commercial advertising the contest, as well as the prizes associated with winning.
(I know $25,000 doesn’t seem like a lot now, but back in ’86, it was definitely worth its weight in gold.  And Peanut Butter Twix!  Do they still make those?  And, hey, remember Madonna before the British accent?)

Ahem...back to the blog entry.


Thousands of people ended up submitting entries to the contest, and each one was filmed with various ideas in mind.  But the winning entry was the one directed by Angel Gracia and Cliff Guest.  And, although it took me some time to find the alternate copy of “True Blue”, I did find it posted online.  You can watch the alternate version below.


I don’t know about you, but I happen to find the MTV contest version to be great.  I think it actually tells more of a story than the video that Madonna made herself.  Viewers of MTV seemed to enjoy the effort made by Gracia and Guest as well, as “True Blue” quickly became one of the most requested videos on MTV during the last few months of 1986.
So, “True Blue” had done incredibly well on the Billboard Charts, and was one of the few singles to have two different music videos, both of which were very well received by the general public.

So, why is “True Blue” largely ignored by Madonna in concert?
The answer is quite simple if you read between the lines.  As mentioned before, I have the Madonna album “True Blue”, and opening up the liner notes that are included with the album, there’s a rather interesting dedication located within.  Inside, the following message appears.  “This album is dedicated to my husband, the coolest guy in the universe.”

And, who was Madonna married to at the time that she recorded “True Blue”?


For anybody who guessed actor Sean Penn, you win!  Unfortunately, I have no prizes to give out, but you still win!  YAY!  J
The relationship between Madonna and Sean Penn was well-documented in the press, and the two got married on August 16, 1985, which coincidentally was Madonna’s 27th birthday.  The two starred in the film flop, ‘Shanghai Surprise’, and Madonna recorded “True Blue” specifically with Sean in mind.  “True Blue” was a standard bubblegum pop love song to most people, but Madonna wrote the song specifically for Sean.  And during 1986, at least, it seemed as though Madonna and Sean Penn were very much the perfect couple, highly devoted to one another.

By 1988, however, the marriage would completely break down.  Notorious for having a short fuse with the paparazzi, Sean Penn frequently got into physical fights with reporters and photographers, even ending up serving 33 days of a 60-day sentence in jail in 1987 for assaulting a photographer on a film set.  There were also reports of Sean Penn being arrested for domestic assault while married to Madonna, of which Sean pleaded to a misdemeanor.  But, by that point, Madonna had enough.  The couple split up in 1988, the divorced finalized in 1989.
Although there was something that I always wondered.  The same year that Madonna divorced Sean Penn was the same year she released her “Like A Prayer” album...an album that Madonna has said was the most personal one she had ever recorded.  Given that was the case, and given that the album was recorded in 1988 – the last full year that Madonna and Sean Penn were still legally married – I wonder if the unreleased song “Til Death Do Us Part” was Madonna’s own personal account of what the last few months of her marriage really was like.  Certainly, if “True Blue” was written at a time when she was at her most happiest with Sean, it would only seem natural that she would also sing a song that was written when it was all falling apart.

Of course, both Madonna and Sean Penn moved on since their split.  Madonna ended up dating several men (and rumoured to have had an affair with Sandra Bernhard, which Bernhard later confirmed was not true), before marrying British film director, Guy Ritchie in 2000.  Guy and Madonna’s marriage was twice as long as Madonna’s first marriage, the union lasting eight years before they split up in 2008.  Madonna is now seeing someone who is reportedly less than half her age.  As for Sean Penn, he ended up finding love with actress Robin Wright.  They began dating shortly after his marriage to Madonna ended, and they got married in 1996.  But although the couple’s marriage was filled with separations and reconciliations, the couple divorced for good in the summer of 2010.
As for the reason why Madonna hasn’t sang “True Blue” in concert in twenty-five years?  I don’t know if she actually provided one, at least publicly.  But just going on pure speculation alone, would YOU want to sing a love song associated with a tumultuous and stormy relationship...especially if you were one of the people involved in the relationship?  I can’t speak for Madonna, but I know if I were in a similar situation, I doubt very much that I’d look at the song the same way again.





But then, Madonna could very well perform the song at Super Bowl XLVI, and make me eat these blue-tinted words that I just typed out. 
Time will tell, I suppose.   But at least you now know about the different shades of “True Blue”.

BONUS QUESTION:  What’s your favourite shade of blue?  I’m partial to cerulean myself, but I thought I’d just pose this question anyway to encourage discussion.  J