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Monday, April 02, 2012

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

Welcome to the first day of the special theme week known as “Sweet Dreams Are Made Of This Week”.


Who am I to disagree?


From April 2 until April 8, all the topics will have something to do with chocolate, candy, and products that are associated with confectionary delights.  The theme days will stay the same, but the content will be ever so sweet.  And, hey, since Easter’s around the corner, there might just be a couple of Easter-themed entries along the way.


For today, we are going to kick off the week with a Monday Matinee feature that was originally a book, and was adapted into film twice.  And, in case you’re wondering why I have turned this entry brown for the day, it’s because the setting of this movie happens to take place at a chocolate factory.


I see some of you in the audience nodding your head in anticipation, as if you already know what the subject of today’s blog is, so I won’t waste any time.




Have you seen this person before?  It happens to be a photo of Gene Wilder, circa 1971.  Some of you who may have Facebook or Twitter accounts may have come across it before, as it is a popular avatar being used for memes such as the one below.



However, I reckon that many of you youngsters out there probably have no idea where this image came from.  Well, it happens to be from the 1971 classic film, “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory”, a musical adaptation of the 1964 novel “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”, written by author Roald Dahl.




But, wait, I hear some of you saying.  Wasn’t the movie called “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”?  Wasn’t it released more recently than 1971?  Didn’t Johnny Depp play Willy Wonka?  Well, if we were discussing the 2005 remake of the movie, than yes, those facts would be true. 


But I wanted to talk about the original 1971 movie for a couple of reasons.  It not only happens to be the version that I grew up with watching, but it is the version that I enjoy the most.




By all accounts, despite the fact that the movie is widely considered to be a cult hit, it bombed at the box office when it was released in June 1971.  I actually found that surprising, given how so many of my friends have fond memories of this movie.  Another fact that I found interesting was the fact that Roald Dahl hated the final product of the film.  He disliked it so much that it took two decades before he allowed Hollywood to turn another one of his books into a movie!  I suppose I can understand his feelings.  If I had a book that I was proud of, I’d ideally want it to be as close to my original vision as possible.


However, Dahl’s opinions aside, I thought the movie brought a lot with it.  It had chocolate and candy, which almost every child loves, as well as a fantastic and believable child cast.  And, it also had a very important life lesson hidden beneath the nougat, sprinkles, and sugary drizzle...but we’ll get to that a little bit later.




I’m assuming that most of you know what the movie is about, so I won’t bore you with a detailed summary of the plot.  Basically, Willy Wonka has a contest going on where he has hidden five golden tickets in various Wonka chocolate bars all over the world.  The lucky children to find the golden tickets were invited on a grand tour of the magnificent and mysterious chocolate factory where Wonka candies and chocolates are made.  The five children who find the tickets are...




-      Augustus Gloop (Michael Bollner), a chunky German boy who overindulges on anything resembling food.


-      Veruca Salt (Julie Dawn Cole), an English girl who is so spoiled, three month old milk appears fresh in comparison.


-      Violet Beauregard (Denise Nickerson), an American girl who chews gum all day and all of the night.


-      Mike Teevee (Paris Themmen), a boy who spends more time watching baseball on TV rather than playing baseball outside.


-      Charlie Bucket (Peter Ostrum), a young boy poor in money, but rich in kindness who lives with his parents, and his four grandparents.


The five children soon arrive at Willy Wonka’s factory with their mother or father (or in Charlie’s case, a grandfather), and Willy Wonka happily greets them at the door.  As they enter the factory, all five children are absolutely blown away by the magic within its walls.  It’s truly a vision of pure imagination.




At first, the tour goes according to plan, and everyone is happy.  But, then poor Augustus Gloop is drawn to the river of chocolate that flows through the factory, and he decides to drink as much of the sweet, liquid chocolate as he can.  This proves costly for Augustus, as he falls directly into the river.  It’s bad enough that Augustus is unable to swim to safety, but then he gets sucked up into a giant tube, leaving the rest of the tour group in shock.


Don’t count on the little orange men known as the Oompa-Loompas to be of any help.  All they seem to do is poke fun at the situation by singing a song about the missing Gloop boy.




Those silly Oompa-Loompas.  They may appear to be simple sugar lackeys on the surface, but their wisdom should be heeded.


I imagine that it must not have been a great feeling for Mrs. Gloop to see her son almost drown in a river of chocolate and get sucked up to parts unknown.  However, Augustus wasn’t the only child to take an unexpected detour on the tour.  Violet Beauregard’s gum addiction lead to her undoing after she chewed a piece that turned her into a gigantic blueberry.  Mike Teevee ended up shrinking to the size of a pixel after a freak accident involving one of Willy Wonka’s inventions.  And, Veruca Salt...well, see for yourself.




It couldn’t have happened to a nicer gal.


By the tour’s conclusion, Charlie Bucket is the only one left, and Willy Wonka was disappointed, as well as a little angry.  Despite the fact that all Charlie really did that could be considered mischievous was sample some of Willy Wonka’s Fizzy Lifting Drinks, Willy Wonka comes to the conclusion that because the other four children were bad, Charlie must be too. 


Mind you, I won’t spoil the ending of this movie (most of you probably know how it ends anyway), but to give you a hint, it involves these.




That’s your clue to how the whole story wraps up.


So, what life lessons can we take from “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory”?  I can come up with a couple right off the bat.  For one, I have no choice but to be a little vague, because if I come right out and say it, I’ll spoil the ending of the movie.  So, I’ll just come out and say it.  Don’t judge people based on the actions of other people.  It was a lesson that Willy Wonka himself needed to learn.  One that a certain young man named Bucket could teach him.


The second, and perhaps most important lesson, that we can learn is that too much of anything is never a good thing.


Let’s face it.  The four children who ended up getting into the most trouble were also the most greedy and self-absorbed.  Augustus Gloop was the poster child for the sin of gluttony, and he ended up in a tight situation because of it.  Violet’s gum-chewing wasn’t really that much of a problem, but her headstrong attitude could be suffocating at times, and her personality lead to her ego (as well as the rest of her body) inflating at an enormous rate.  Veruca Salt wanted it all, but didn’t want to do the work to earn it, which cheapened her personality much like the defective items that were sent down the garbage chute.  As for poor Mike Teevee, his screen time took over his life so much that it seemed fitting that his ultimate fate would involve a television screen.


In the case of Augustus, Mike, Veruca, and Violet, their greedy behaviour got them in a world of trouble.  The parents of the four wasted no time in blaming Willy Wonka for what happened to their children, but the truth is that they did it to themselves with their greedy behaviour.


The lesson is simple.  Don’t be greedy!  Be more like Charlie Bucket!  After all, he was the only one to get the full tour for a reason.  And in a world where we seemingly are under the impression that greed is good, I think that we need more Charlie Buckets in this world to show us that life can be just as sweet on the other side.

Sunday, April 01, 2012

You're My Wonderwall

I have always said that high school was a tough go for me, but weirdly enough, some of my favourite music has come out of that time period.

The early years of high school, that is.

I began high school in September 1995, which I felt was a great time for music.  It was just before the Spice Girls and the Backstreet Boys had made it big, and it was just after the grunge movement.  It was a great time to be a fourteen year old boy.

I still remember the plethora of artists who had songs charting at the time both on radio, as well as MuchMusic.  Blur, Pulp, Garbage, Luscious Jackson, Mariah Carey, Janet Jackson, R.E.M., Gin Blossoms, Bush, and No Doubt were a huge part of my grade nine soundtrack, and I still listen to these artists today in 2012.


And then there’s today’s Sunday Jukebox spotlight by a British act, which ended up becoming one of the biggest selling singles by the band, and was one of the most requested songs of late 1995.

I’ll just get into a bit about how much the song meant to me.  To me, it was a song that really helped me cope with the hardships that I went through my freshman year.  It’s no secret that for a lot of us, the ninth grade is a very stressful year.  Most of us are in a brand new school with brand new teachers and brand new classmates.  It can be a difficult situation for anybody to be faced with.  I know it was for me.  This song is probably the best example that I can think of to describe that time.  And, what made it even more poignant was the intended meaning behind the song (which was different from what a lot of other people had initially thought).

So, would you like to listen to this song that inspired me?  Here it is below.























APRIL FOOLS!!!!!

You know I had to sneak ONE April Fools Day joke in here somewhere, didn’t you?

Okay, okay.  Here’s the REAL version.



ARTIST:  Oasis
SONG:  Wonderwall
ALBUM:  (What’s The Story) Morning Glory?
DATE RELEASED:  October 30, 1995
PEAK POSITION ON THE BILLBOARD CHARTS:  #8



“Wonderwall” was a song that proved to be very successful for the rock band, Oasis.  Recorded in May 1995, the song hit number one in thirteen countries, and remained a hit well into the first half of 1996.  It won the Brit Award for Best Music Video in 1996, and was nominated for two Grammy Awards the following year.  A poll hosted by Virgin Radio in 2005 listed “Wonderwall” as the best British song of all time, and a few people (including Blur’s Alex James and U2’s ‘The Edge’) have gone on record as saying that they had wished they had written the song themselves.

Certainly, “Wonderwall” was a powerful and moving song.  It’s perhaps one of the band’s best songs, in my opinion.  And the song itself was melodic, light, and serene, if not haunting, which is ironic when you consider the fact that Oasis was known for being one of the most dysfunctional bands in the public eye.


Forming in 1991, the band was composed of brothers Liam and Noel Gallagher, Paul “Bonehead” Arthurs, Paul “Guigsy” McGuigan, and Tony McCarroll.

TRIVIA:  The band originally went by the name of “The Rain”.  The name was changed after a suggestion by Liam Gallagher, who was inspired by a concert venue listed on a poster advertising the band “Inspiral Carpets”.

During the band’s early years, they struggled to find an audience, but upon the release of their debut album, “Definitely Maybe”, the band’s popularity soon exploded in the United Kingdom.

However, as the band’s popularity continued to rise, so did the tension between the bandmates.  The Gallagher brothers were more often than not the cause of most of the tension.  Most of the band’s negative publicity surrounded Liam and/or Noel, and some examples of this include the following.

-      Liam getting high before a September 1994 concert in San Francisco which lead to him insulting the American audience and attacking Noel with a tambourine

-      Unceremoniously firing Tony McCarroll after a personality conflict in early 1995



-      Getting involved in a rivalry with Blur, which lead to Noel angrily blurting out in an interview that he hoped that members of  Blur would get AIDS



-      Liam spewing beer on stage and making naughty gestures at Noel during their performance at the 1996 MTV Video Music Awards

-      Liam and Noel fighting during the recording of 1997’s “Be Here Now”

-      Noel getting attacked by an audience member at 2008’s Virgin Festival in Toronto, leaving him with busted ribs

And, perhaps the most defining moment?  August 28, 2009.  Another fight had broken out between Liam and Noel, but this time, it got extremely personal.  Liam reportedly smashed Noel’s guitar backstage, which lead to their cancelling their appearance at a Parisian rock festival, and ultimately the end of their European tour.  Just two hours later, Noel resigned from the band.

Therefore, I guess it can be safe to say that Oasis was probably a band that had a lot of problems. 

Despite all of their bad judgments, violent tendencies, and tasteless comments, I still have to admit that “Wonderwall” remains one of my favourite songs of the 1990s, if not all time.

The song was written by Noel Gallagher.  Initially, Gallagher had said that the subject of the song was about his girlfriend at the time, Meg Matthews.  But after they had been married and divorced, Gallgher changed his tune, instead stating that the song was “about an imaginary friend who’s gonna come and save you from yourself.”

At this point, I’m not sure which explanation I can believe, but for the sake of argument, let’s apply theory number two to my situation.

I always felt going through school that the temptation to make terrible choices was always out there.  Experimentation with drugs.  Binge drinking.  Underage sex. 

And yet, I never did any of those things.  It’s hard to explain it, but I think that my conscience was working overtime during high school.  Whenever I was tempted to try drugs or alcohol in high school, there was this persistent voice in my ear telling me “Don’t do that!”

It was almost as if it were some imaginary friend trying to let me know that if I went down the path, it would cause me more harm than good. 

So, I listened, and I’m still living the sober life (aside from a couple of beers every now and again, but I am well aware of my limitations).

I often wonder if maybe Oasis wouldn’t have had such a hard go of it if they had imaginary friends of their own hovering over them.  If they had them, perhaps Liam wouldn’t have smashed Noel’s guitar, leading to Noel departing Oasis.  Maybe if the Gallagher brothers had an imaginary friend who tried to save Noel from himself, he wouldn’t have made those disgusting comments about the members of Blur.  Or maybe Liam wouldn’t have made a public spectacle of himself during various award shows.


There’s a saying that exists.  Let your conscience be your guide.  I think that phrase could be the meaning behind Oasis’ popular single “Wonderwall”.  It’s a phrase that I take great influence from.  It’s also a phrase that perhaps the Gallagher brothers from Oasis should have had tattooed to them somewhere.

A little food for thought this first day of April.

Saturday, March 31, 2012

Educational Canadian Kids Shows...From Good to Creepy

Over my near thirty-one years on this planet, I have seen a lot of weird television in my day, but nothing tops the weird scale quite like Canadian television for children.

And, that's what this blog topic is about. Picking out the good, the bad, and the ugly in selected Canadian programs that some of you may have never seen, or have forgotten about.

But I remember. Some I really wish I COULD forget.

I have talked about a few Canadian programs on this blog (The Polka Dot Door and Today's Special), but both of those shows are well-loved by kids all over the world. This entry will talk about some of the forgotten programs. Shows that haven't aired in well over twenty years or more.

So, let's get right to it.



READALONG (1975-1976)

First things first...the show is thirty-seven years old. I remember watching it when I was four. I feel incredibly old now. If you like, you can click HERE to watch a full episode of it.

And, secondly, what an interesting concept. It's basically a show that teaches young children how to read. I guess in some ways, it was sort of a Canadian version of “The Electric Company”. The strange part? We were taught how to read by a work boot (Boot) and a pink shoe (Pretty). There was also a grandmother puppet (Granny), and several appearances by small children (who are probably in their early 40's now). I liked the show as a young boy. I admit that watching the show today still gives me a chuckle. But, I think it's still relevant today. Sure, the 1970s music and fashions are long gone, but it still is capable of teaching children how to read. Now, if they could only get rid of that scary logo at the beginning...



BLUE RAINBOW (1984-2000)

The thing that surprises me the most about this program was the fact that it ran for more than fifteen years. It was probably one of the weirdest shows that I have ever seen. It originally ran on CBC before Global bought the program. I just don't know how to best describe it, so I'll post a short clip of it below.

Okay, bottom line is you have the woman in a pink dress who tells stories and plays a harp. There's also two bald guys who don't speak English. I'm pretty sure that if one drank enough alcohol, you might be able to understand them, but I wouldn't recommend it. You'd likely die of alcohol poisoning before that happened. It was that bizarre...



TELEFRANCAIS (1984-1986)

...though not nearly as bizarre as two kids talking to a pineapple in the middle of a garbage dump!

Let's get the obvious out of the way first. None of the characters speak English. That's because in Canada, there are two official languages. English and French. So, it wasn't uncommon to see some French language programming on TVOntario, where this show originally aired. The show was an introductory program for young children to learn basic French vocabulary. The two kids, Jacques and Sophie, meet the talking pineapple (appropriately named Ananas), and adventures soon follow.



Oh, and the musical entertainment involved a group of singing French skeletons (known as Les Squelettes). Enough said.



There was another popular French language show called PASSE-PARTOUT which ran from 1977-1987, but all I remember about that show is the opening. You can watch it above.



CAMP CARIBOO (1986-1989)

The one thing that I probably remember the most about this program is the theme song. It was catchy. And, I admit that the show's concept itself wasn't overly bad. It took place at a summer camp, and it showcased a lot of activities that people would do at a summer camp. They told stories, they sang songs, they did crafts. I liked it. Tom Knowlton and Mark Baldwin were the counselors of Camp Cariboo, and they were the driving force behind the show. They also played the role of the “Keeners”, two guys who wanted to stay at the camp, even though they were much too old.



BALLOONER LANDING (1988-1992)

There's a lot of people who probably don't remember this show, so I hope that the opening that I found refreshes your memory. But, if it doesn't, the show was hosted by Lee and Sandy Paley. They started each show by flying down towards their home in a giant hot-air balloon, greeting their dog “Do Good”, interacting with Prudence the Parrot, and lots of singing. I admit that it's been years since I have seen the show, but I always liked it. Lee and Sandy were great entertainers, and as of 2012, they're still performing. That's always great to see.



HAPPY CASTLE (1988-1989)

Have you ever watched a program that is so bad that you want to change the channel, but are so mesmerized by it that you can't look away? Happy Castle was that show for me.

I mean, look at the opening. I am sure that back in 1988, the opening was at its peak of creativity...but now it just looks cheap. And, the show itself was like one gigantic acid trip. A Cinar production, the show depicts a young girl (who is really probably twenty-two) who somehow gets stuck in the kingdom of Betwixt. She meets a whole bunch of animals who vow to protect her, but she also has to deal with the fact that a wicked queen is out to capture her. It's like they took Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, and Alice in Wonderland, and blended them together into Happy Castle. I imagine that when it first came on the air, I might have liked it, but unfortunately it really has not aged well. At all.



KIDSTREET (1988-1992)

Have you ever seen the television game show “Classic Concentration”? The one where contestants have to solve a rebus in order to win the chance for a car? Well, this children's game show hosted by Kevin Frank was like that. The final round of the game was a rebus round, where the kids would try to have to guess what the puzzle was. If successful, they could win an entire wall filled with toys and games. But, before they could do that, they had to sit in a giant car and answer questions about their teammates (which could be a sibling or a cousin). I remember watching this show loyally, and I remember wanting to be a contestant on it so bad. But, being the kid who never had siblings or cousins close to his age, that was a fleeting dream. I enjoyed watching it though.



EUREKA! (1980-1981)

So, this program was geared towards the junior high or high school set, but that's okay.  The show's original run only lasted less than a year, but the reruns reportedly aired on TVOntario for a little over twenty-five years. As a kid, I remember watching it and not understanding what the heck the program was even about. I almost wish that I had paid attention because it would have definitely helped me get better grades in science class. But, it was a neat series because it taught a lot of concepts in physics by using animation. And, for a few years, it was really the only fun science program Canadians had to watch...that is until Dr. Fad and Bill Nye the Science Guy came along.



SIZE SMALL AND SIZE SMALL ISLAND (1982-1987)

I honestly don't know why I loved this show so much as a child. I couldn't get enough of it, and I had to watch it every day or else I would be in a very bad mood the rest of the day. Looking at the show now, it's really kind of cheesy. I mean, Miss Helen was always nice and lovely, and I suppose the triplet puppets were cute in a creepy kind of way. But, I'll admit that Grandma Gussie used to aggravate me to no end every time she spoke. Because she used to whistle every time she said any word containing the letter “S”, I always felt as if someone forgot to take off the pot of tea from the burner in the background.



We won't even discuss the record that dances and bangs spoons together.

And, finally...saving the creepiest for last.

CIRCLE SQUARE (1974-1986)

Believe it or not, Canada is known for producing a lot of television shows that deal with Christianity and the church. And, that's fine. But this show was just...creepy.



For one, the opening shows all the kids deliriously happy. So happy that we can see the gleam of their teeth behind the braces that some of them wore. No child is EVER that happy in real life. Though that girl who winks to the camera in almost a suggestive manner is strangely ironic, don't you think?

Even when they talk to the camera, those smiles never go away. It's just...creepy.

And, apparently, there was a Circle Square songbook. Who knew? I remember watching a couple of episodes of the show just out of boredom and curiosity, and feeling very left out that you needed a songbook to be able to fully appreciate the show. They didn't even provide subtitles for the songs being sung. Yeah, great message. We'll entertain you for free, but if you don't buy a songbook, you're left out, and can't measure up to the perfection of the Circle Square kids.


(Well, provided the books were actually sold.  They might have sent them for free...I don't know.)

All the songs of course were hymns written for kids about how God is awesome, and other Christian themes. Which is perfectly fine on the surface. I've no issue with that. It's just the way the kids were so monotonous and smiling and had the same blank expression on their faces...it was like I was watching a musical about the Children of the Corn.  With the exception of the girl by the window who is in a "dark place", these children seem to have smiles that seem forced.

By that description, I have no problem listing Circle Square as one of the creepiest shows I've ever watched.  Ever.  Even creepier than Happy Castle.

So, that's a look back at some of the forgotten shows that we kids in Canada would watch during the 1970s and 1980s. Can you add any more to the list?

Friday, March 30, 2012

The Trouble With Two and a Half Men

While it would be nice to think that a show can run for several years keeping the same exact cast of characters from start to finish, it usually doesn’t end up that way.

The truth is that the average television show (particularly over the last 20 years or so) has one or more high-profile cast changes during the course of the show’s run.

In many cases, actors and actresses leave on their own accord.  Charlotte Rae left “The Facts Of Life” in 1986, and the show ran until 1988.  Marg Helgenberger recently left “CSI” after nearly eleven seasons.  And Thomas Calabro was the only original cast member of “Melrose Place” to stay on the show’s entire seven season run.

Sometimes, a cast member will pass away during filming.  Jim Davis’ death in 1981 was a sad occurance, but “Dallas” ran without Jock Ewing for ten more seasons.  David Strickland died under unusual circumstances in 1999, which lead to the show “Suddenly Susan” becoming suddenly revamped.  And, the bailiff in “Night Court” was replaced three times, due to the deaths of the two original actresses (Selma Diamond and Florence Halop).

But what happens when an actor gets fired from a show?  What happens then?

In quite a few cases, the show does have to reinvent itself, but manages to continue on for years.  It happened on “The Hogan Family” when Valerie Harper was fired.  She was replaced by Sandy Duncan, and the show ran for four additional years.  I did a blog entry on that situation back in the summer of 2011, if you’re interested in reading that story, but that isn’t what the blog is about.

No, today’s blog topic will be about a television show that is a little more recent.  So recent that it is still currently airing.

The show suffered a major setback between season eight and season nine, where one of the main stars was fired after a series of bizarre events in the media.  Because the main character was such a key element in the show, a lot of people wondered if the show would go on without him there. 

But, the producers came up with the solution to bring in a new character, and the show went on.  But, is it really any good?  I’ll answer that a little later.


This is the story of “Two and a Half Men”, and the aftermath of the Charlie Sheen scandal of 2011.


As most of you know, “Two and a Half Men” debuted on CBS in September 2003, and when it debuted, it starred Jon Cryer, Angus T. Jones, and Charlie Sheen.

Remember that final name.  It’s an important one in this entry.


Anyway, the main plot of the show revolved around Charlie Sheen’s character (appropriately enough also named Charlie.)  Charlie Harper was a jingle writer for commercials and television programs, and apparently he made a decent living at it.  He lived in a beautiful beach house on the Malibu coast, and he was well-off enough to be able to afford to hire a housekeeper, Berta (Conchata Ferrell).  On the surface, Charlie had it all.

The only problem was that he was a self-centered horndog who treated women as if they were golden trophies.


If we tallied up the number of women Charlie had slept with both before, and on the show, it would likely be in the hundreds, if not thousands.  During his entire run, Charlie would have his fill with whatever his flavour of the week was, and then cast them out in the cold when a new one came along.  It certainly didn’t make Charlie look like an angelic saint of a character, but he wasn’t supposed to be either.  But somehow, Chuck Lorre, and the rest of the production and writing crew made up for it by giving Charlie likeable personality traits.  On some level, Charlie could be pathetic, but he could also be quite sharp and sarcastic as well.


And, besides, Charlie lived the bachelor life on the coast of a beautiful beach.  Sure, he had a stalker named Rose (Melanie Lynskey), but most times, he could outsmart her.  Life was good for Charlie.

That is until his brother and nephew became homeless and needed a place to live.


Enter Charlie’s wet, cold fish of a brother, chiropractor Alan Harper (Cryer) and his pre-teen son, Jake (Jones), a boy whose personality seems more like his uncle Charlie than his father.  Alan’s ex-wife, Judith (Marin Hinkle) kicked Alan out, and Alan decides to ask Charlie if they could stay.  Charlie reluctantly agreed, thinking that at most, they would be staying for a day...eight at the most.

As of March 2012, Alan and Jake are STILL there.


Certainly, the family unit between Charlie, Alan, and Jake was a rather original one.  Many of the plotlines in the show dealt with a lot of the relationships in the series.  We saw Jake grow from boy to man over the course of the show’s run.  Unfortunately for Alan, this meant that we saw Jake grow into a man that was more like Charlie.  Of course, we also saw moments in which Jake and Alan got along as well.  Charlie and Alan’s relationship mirrored the relationship that a lot of brothers have.  Deep down, you know they care about each other, and would do anything for the other one, but they still find time to poke fun at each other.  Charlie would frequently make fun of Alan from his dress style, to his lack of romance, to his gullibility...well, just about everything, really.  But Alan often gave it as good as he took it, constantly lecturing Charlie on his promiscuous nature, and his careless attitude.


Oh, and whenever their mother (Holland Taylor) came for a visit, you could always count on Alan and Charlie to team up to try and survive her biting tongue and scathing criticism.

For eight seasons, this was the formula of almost every episode, and it worked really well.  The show often won the ratings war in its Monday night time slot, and The New York Times called “Two and a Half Men” the biggest hit comedy of the past decade.  And, considering that creator Chuck Lorre also created “Dharma & Greg”, “The Big Bang Theory”, and “Mike & Molly”, that’s one idea of a crowning achievement.

But then came the winter of 2010/11, where Charlie Sheen’s “winning” attitude came back to bite him.

Unless you were living in a cave during that time (well, actually, during that time, I was in a hospital bed recovering from surgery, so I didn’t know about it until after I was discharged), you know the story.  In January 2011, Charlie Sheen entered a rehabilitation center for the third time in less than a year.  As a result of that, the filming of the show was put on what was meant to be a temporary hiatus.  But, just a few weeks later, things really snowballed out of control.

During a radio interview on the Alex Jones show in February 2011, Charlie Sheen made several derogatory comments directed towards Chuck Lorre.  I won’t repeat them here, because after reading them on various sites that detailed the fight, I have difficulty making any sense out of it.  But, trust me.  His words were quite vicious in nature.  It almost seemed as though Charlie Sheen almost wanted the show to get cancelled! 

According to past reports, it wouldn’t have been much of a shock if that was what Charlie was doing.  Reports stated that Charlie wanted off the show at the conclusion of season seven in 2010.  When he signed on for two more years on May 18, 2010, we all believed that Sheen had a change of heart.  But, on February 24, 2011, Lorre, Warner Brothers, and CBS had enough.  That day, it was decided that the last four episodes of the eighth season would not be filmed, and the season would end prematurely.  Just a few days later on March 7, 2011, Sheen was officially fired from “Two and a Half Men”, leading to dozens of rants about tiger blood, how he was “winning”, and how much he disliked Jon Cryer (though he would later half-apologize for his remarks).  He also launched a stand-up tour which got mixed reviews.

There was much speculation about what the future of the show was around the time Sheen was shown the door.  Many viewers (including myself, come to think of it) expected the show to be cancelled.  You just couldn’t have “Two and a Half Men without Charlie Sheen!  I mean, Jon Cryer is a fantastic actor, and I’ve been a fan of his since he appeared in “Pretty in Pink”...but he and Sheen made such a fantastic double act.  With one of them gone, I couldn’t see Cryer carrying the show by himself, as talented as he was. 


But then the decision was made to bring in a new character named Walden Schmidt, played by “That 70s Show” star, Ashton Kutcher.  The show would go on with a new character joining the current cast. 

But, how would they bring him in?


Simple.  Since Charlie Sheen was fired, his character Charlie Harper obviously wasn’t coming back.  So, they kill him off in one of the most bizarre ways possible, leaving Alan and Jake with the house.  Naturally, Alan can’t afford to keep the house, because I guess chiropractors don’t have the salary to keep a home in Malibu.

Enter billionaire Walden Schmidt, who becomes Alan’s best friend.  Walden, broken-hearted over a failed marriage, decides to buy Charlie’s house, and moves in with Alan, Jake, and Berta, and thus, season nine was born.


But, here’s the thing.  I’m not enjoying the new “Two and a Half Men”.  It’s not the same without Charlie.  I believe Ashton Kutcher is trying his best, and with his marriage to Demi Moore ending right around the time he joined the show, I imagine that it probably wasn’t the best time for him in his personal life.  But, as a new character, I think Walden falls flat.  At least with “The Hogan Family”, Sandy Duncan’s character was just as enjoyable to watch as Valerie Harper.  But, I fail to see much chemistry between Kutcher and Cryer, as I did between Sheen and Cryer.

At this point in time, it’s hard to say whether “Two and a Half Men” will make it to ten years.  The first few years were fantastic, but I have barely been able to watch much of season nine.  I know that only one cast change was made, but I’m finding that it isn’t working.  And, you know what they say when something isn’t working...

Even the news that they’re bringing Charlie Harper back in a future episode of “Two and a Half Men” was disappointing, because instead of bringing back Sheen (though I doubt Sheen would participate anyway), they cast Kathy Bates to play the ghost of Charlie.  If it sounds absolutely ridiculous, it probably is.  If interested, the show is slated to air at the end of April, but I doubt that I’ll be tuning in.

Oh well...at least the reruns of the show are still on television.  Maybe I’ll just watch those instead.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

The Thirteenth Confession





Today is Thursday, and as it so happens, it is my 13th Thursday Confessional.

Now, I imagine to some of you, the number thirteen strikes fear into your heart, and will have you running for the hills. The reason being that the number thirteen is widely considered to be a very unlucky number for various reasons.

One of the most common reasons behind why the number thirteen is considered unlucky is in regards to the Hangman's Noose. Apparently, it takes exactly thirteen turns to make one, as anything less would not snap a neck. There's also a theory that it is very unlucky to have thirteen people seated at a table, citing the Last Supper as an example.



And, of course, there's the idea of Friday the 13th being the most unluckiest day ever. And we just happen to be in a year that has THREE Friday the Thirteenths (We had one in January, but April and July 2012 also have a Friday the Thirteenth).

Some people really take the idea of thirteen being a very unlucky number quite seriously. Some hotels and office buildings were built with a non-existant thirteenth floor, and some people have developed a real fear of the number thirteen. There's even a name for the phobia of thirteen. Triskaidekaphobia.

Try saying that thirteen times fast.

That being said, considering that this is the thirteenth Thursday of the year, those of you who suffer from triskaidekaphobia may not be comfortable with reading this blog entry. And, that's fine. I know what it's like to have a fear that many would see as uncommon (though in my case, it's balloons popping, not the number 13).

At the same time, this is the thirteenth confession.

THURSDAY CONFESSION #13: For the most part, I am NOT a superstitious person.

I don't really see what the big deal about the number thirteen is. To me, it's just a number that happens to be sandwiched in between twelve and fourteen. That's it. It has no other effect on me.

Sure, it's hard to deny that the number thirteen has been involved in some very unlucky situations (for one more, just Google Apollo 13), but the number thirteen is seen as a very lucky number to others.

Take Colgate University in Hamilton, New York. Founded in 1819, the university boasts that it was founded by thirteen men with thirteen dollars, thirteen prayers, and thirteen articles. Almost two hundred years later, the school still holds the number thirteen in high regard. The campus address is 13 Oak Drive, and the male a cappella group is known as the “Colgate 13”.

We could examine the small Brazilian religion known as the “Coperos”, which believes that the number 13 is a sacred number. To them, thirteen represents salvation.

A number of sports figures throughout history have proudly worn the number thirteen. These include Dan Marino, Alex Rodriguez, Wilt Chamberlain, Steve Nash, Mats Sundin, Pavel Datsyuk, Bill Guerin, and Michael Cammalleri.



And, country music singer Taylor Swift (born December 13, 1989), considers the number thirteen to be her own personal lucky number, explaining that the number is synonymous with good luck. She even writes the number on her hand whenever she performs in concert (so the next time you're at a Taylor Swift concert, see if you can spot it).

And, that's precisely the point that I wanted to make in regards to the whole superstition of thirteen being bad. In some cases, yes, thirteen has gotten a bad rap. But, I've also proven that good things do happen to those who believe in the power of thirteen.

But, again, I'm pretty indifferent to the number thirteen. It doesn't give me good luck or bad luck because I don't believe in the superstitious nature of that particular number. There is another number though that pops up quite often in my own personal life, but I'll share that story with you in a future Thursday Confession.

It does boggle my mind that so many people do take the power of superstition very seriously.

A superstition is defined as an irrational belief arising from ignorance or fear. Over the last few centuries, hundreds of superstitions were born in various parts of the world at different times. But, I've dismissed most of them as being old wives tales, or being an impossibility.



I will admit to one superstition that I do believe in though. I don't walk underneath ladders of any sort. For one, I'm over six feet tall, and I would probably bop my head on the top rung of many standard ladders, causing me much pain. But, I also realize that the dangers of walking under a ladder are real. You could cause the person standing on the ladder at the time to fall, or you could get beaned from above with another object.

Hence the reason why my confession included the words, “for the most part”.

But, researching some of the classic superstitions over the years, I shake my head, and wonder why people would believe such tripe.



I'm sure that most of us have heard the classic rhyme “Step on a crack, break your momma's back”. We used to say that rhyme in the school playground, and Devo somehow managed to weave that statement into their 1980 hit single “Whip It”. But, I can state that in my years, I have stepped on a couple of hundred thousand cracks in the sidewalk, and my mother has never sustained a back injury. Superstition denied.



I also don't believe in the sentiment that if a black cat crosses your path, you're somehow doomed. I personally think black cats are some of the coolest looking cats out there. My sister once owned a jet black cat named Vernon for several years, and he pretty much kept to himself. My sister's house never burned down, nobody got hit by a car, and everyone lived happily ever after until Vernon died in 2004.



And, there's also the superstition that if you break a mirror, the tradeoff is horrible luck for the next seven years of your life. If that's the case, my other sister should be serving the fourth phase of her 49-year-sentence for the seven mirrors she broke in her lifetime (though I will say that only one or two were deliberate).

Of course, by publicly posting this online, I may have sealed my OWN fate, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

It's really fascinating to read some of the lists of superstitions that I have found online. Many of them were ones that I didn't even know existed. For instance, did you know that...



...a bird in the house is a sign of death? (I couldn't believe it myself. I mean, I remember the one time in which we had a bird flying inside our front porch in the spring of 2000, but that was just a freak accident. Although, the fact that my grandfather passed away on July 14 that year does kind of freak me out. I'm sure it was purely coincidental. It had to be.)

...a loaf of bread should never be turned upside down after a slice has been cut from it? (I never saw this as a superstition. Common sense should tell you that you should never turn bread upside down under any circumstances, as the top would get all flattened out. Even so, I'm not exactly sure why this would be considered superstitious. Anyone have any ideas?)

...if the first butterfly that you see in the year is white, it is a sign of good luck all that year? (Well, the first one I saw was yellow. I'm screwed.)



...a horseshoe hung in the bedroom will keep nightmares away? (And, if the horseshoe happens to get loose and falls on your head, you may never have another dream again. Just saying.)

...if you catch a falling leaf on the first day of autumn, you will not catch a cold all winter? (Lies. All lies. Trust me on this one.)

...dropping an umbrella on the floor means that there will be a murder in the house? (Okay, I knew the one about not opening up an umbrella indoors, but this one seems crazy to me. If that was the case, there should have been a massacre at my house circa 1992.)



...to dream of a lizard is a sign that you have a secret enemy? (Seriously? I mean, I appreciate the imagery to use a lizard to symbolize an enemy – slimy, cold-blooded – but really? Dreaming a lizard creates an instant enemy? If that were the case, my dreams during high school should have taken place at the reptile section of the zoo!)

...if the groom drops the wedding band during the ceremony, the marriage is doomed? (I want to hear from any divorced followers here...is there any truth to that? I'm curious to know.)

...if a friend gives you a knife, you should give him a coin, or the friendship will be broken? (Clearly, the weirdest one I've read yet. When the heck is a friend going to give me a knife? Unless, the friend were to stab me, in which case, they wouldn't be a friend. And, if that did go down, I'm sure tossing a handful of pennies at them would be the furthest thought from my mind!)

Let's keep this list going. What are some of the superstitions and old wives tales that you have heard over your lifetime? Do you take them at their word, or dismiss it as paranoia? You tell me.

And, now, some Stevie Wonder.




(This post was originally written with size 13 pt font...somehow, it shrank.  How...superstitious...)