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Sunday, June 17, 2012

Father's Day In The Living Years




I’m going to take the opportunity to wish all fathers everywhere a happy Father’s Day today.  It’s your day today, and I hope that all of you are doing something that you all love to do.

I’m turning this blog entry aqua today in celebration of the day.  Normally, I would have chosen blue, but since that happens to be related to one of the clues for the contest that is currently going on, I decided to go with another colour that appeared masculine.

(Of course, this is coming from a man whose favourite colour is purple...)

But seriously, let’s go back to Father’s Day here.

The first official observance of Father’s Day was held in 1910 by Sonora Smart Dodd, the daughter of Civil War veteran William Jackson Smart.  Smart was a single father, who raised six children in Spokane, Washington.  The idea for Father’s Day was inspired by a sermon that she attended where the topic of discussion was Anna Jarvis, who helped create the holiday of Mother’s Day.  Dodd wondered why there wasn’t a similar holiday to celebrate fathers.  Initially, Dodd had wanted Father’s Day to be a fixed holiday...June 5th, which was her father’s birthday.  But when the pastors had difficulty preparing their sermons due to lack of time, the date was then changed to the third Sunday in June for that particular year.  Remember that detail for later.

It took some time for Father’s Day to officially be recognized as a holiday.  President Woodrow Wilson tried to make Father’s Day an official holiday in 1916, but Congress initially rejected the suggestion, believing that the holiday would become too commercialized (wow, did they have a crystal ball back then, or what?).

The idea was resurrected eight years later in 1924, when President Calvin Coolidge recommended that the day be observed nationwide, but stopped short of making it a national proclamation.  Twice more, the bill to make Father’s Day an official holiday was denied by Congress.  But then in 1957, U.S. Senator Margaret Chase Smith wrote a proposal that more or less blamed Congress for ignoring fathers for over four decades while mothers were honoured, which she felt was an unfair singling out of one of the two parents.  In 1966, President Lyndon B. Johnson issued the very first presidential proclamation honouring fathers everywhere, and declaring the third Sunday in June as Father’s Day.  A few years later, Richard Nixon signed the bill into law, and Father’s Day was made into a permanent holiday beginning on June 18, 1972.


And since June 18, 1972, I imagine fathers all over the world have gotten millions of ties, belts, and pairs of underwear from their sons and daughters.  J

And that’s the history of Father’s Day.  Very interesting, isn’t it?

My own father is still alive and kicking as of now, and he’ll be turning 66 later next month, making him almost 35 when I was born.  I can’t imagine that he and my mother having their final child (and only son) at the age of 35 must have been easy for him, especially given that he had two daughters years before I was born.  And I certainly did not make things very easy on him, as him and I are nothing alike.  I hate to paraphrase an old Donny and Marie Osmond song here, but he was a little bit country, and I was a little bit rock and roll.  And, I imagine that when I was younger, he and I used to have terrible, terrible fights growing up.  But the one thing that I can honestly say is that despite all of our fights, disagreements, and shouting matches, he has always been there for me, and I imagine that he will continue to be there as long as he is able to.

But what about all of those people who are absolutely indifferent to Father’s Day, or see Father’s Day as a painful reminder of what they have lost?  I imagine that a day like today must be quite difficult for them, especially if their father has passed away.  My deepest condolences go out to anybody who has lost a father.

In this edition of the Sunday Jukebox, I thought that I would post a song that is related to everything that I have said about fathers in this post so far.  In my case, it deals with fights and conflicts that I have had with my father over the years.  But in other instances, it provides a bit of a melancholic feel because the song is about a man who has recently lost his father who never got a chance to tell him how he felt.  As a result, the man has lost the chance to ever get some sort of closure with his father.

Let’s hear the song first, and then we’ll talk a bit about the band who performed the song, the song itself, and why it had a lot of personal meaning for most of the band.


ARTIST:  Mike + The Mechanics
SONG:  The Living Years
ALBUM:  Living Years
DATE RELEASED:  December 3, 1988
PEAK POSITION ON THE BILLBOARD CHARTS:  #1 for 1 week



Ah, yes.  Mike + The Mechanics, a side project that was launched by Genesis band member Mike Rutherford.  Together with Paul Carrack and Paul Young (no, not the ‘Everytime You Go Away’ Paul Young), Rutherford formed Mike + The Mechanics in the mid-1980s.  Their first album was released in 1985, of which several singles performed very well on radio including “Silent Running” and “All I Need Is A Miracle”.  At first, Rutherford had only intended on making Mike + The Mechanics a one-off project away from Genesis, but after the surprise success of their debut album, the band managed to stay together, even though other projects were calling.  Rutherford had returned to Genesis to help launch their 1986 album “Invisible Touch” while Carrack had released a third solo album in 1987. But the band regrouped in 1988 to put together their sophomore album, “Living Years”.

Of all the songs that made it onto the album’s final cut, it was the title track that ended up being the most successful.  Here’s a few statistics for you.  The song reached the top of the Billboard Charts on March 25, 1989, but it stayed a total of four weeks on the Adult Contemporary Charts in early 1989.  The song also topped the charts in Australia, Canada, and Ireland.  In 1990, the song was nominated for Song of the Year at the Grammy Awards, but lost to Bette Midler’s “Wind Beneath My Wings”.  However, it did win the Ivor Novello Award in London for Best Song Musically & Lyrically. 

Even legendary singer and songwriter Burt Bacharach described the song as having some of the finest lyrics in a decade when he was interviewed in 1996.  How’s that for kudos?

Certainly the song is haunting, and if you watch the video and listen to the lyrics, you know what the song is about.  It’s about a man who has recently lost his father and is realizing that he will never get the chance to repair the frayed relationship between them.  He laments the loss of communication between him and his father, just as he has become a father himself.  It certainly makes the listener stop and think.  It’s probably one of my favourite songs of the 1980s...maybe even all time.

Now, what if I told you that the idea behind the song was based on a couple of true stories?


In order to explain this, we have to go back a year before the “Living Years” album was released.  In September 1987, Mike Rutherford had just finished his touring obligations for Genesis’ “Invisible Touch” album, and he was beginning to work on lyrics for the next Mike + The Mechanics album.  Mike tried his hardest to concentrate on the album, but it was right around this time that he struggled with major writer’s block, and couldn’t figure out how to overcome it.

Although given what was going on inside Mike Rutherford’s personal life at the time, it’s easy to see why.  Mike’s father had passed away while he was on tour with Genesis, and just three months later, his son was born (hmmm...sounds a lot like the lyrics to a certain song, doesn’t it?).  On top of this, Mike’s wife was pregnant with the couple’s third child, and the pregnancy was especially difficult.  It was so difficult that there was a possibility that the child could have died, but thankfully the baby was born healthy.  With his third child safely delivered, a huge weight was lifted off of Rutherford’s shoulders, and soon after this, his creative force took over.  He churned out lyric after lyric, and by the end of January 1988, he felt that he had written enough to begin composing the new Mike + The Mechanics album.  Initially, producer and co-writer Christopher Neil had wanted to move up production of the album to April, but Rutherford insisted that he still had some inspiration left inside of him, and between May and July 1988, Rutherford ended up appearing on the album’s final cut, which was first released that October.

“The Living Years” was the second single released from the album, and it was co-written by Rutherford and long-time Mike + The Mechanics collaborator B.A. Robertson.  The song was a personal project for both Rutherford and Robertson, as both men had ended up losing their own fathers just before the album was released.  However, Robertson had always intended for the song to be about Rutherford’s own strained relationship with his father.

Here’s one final note about the song.  Paul Carrack and Paul Young often shared lead vocal duties in the band, depending on what style the song was written.  The song “The Living Years” was always meant to be a slow song, which Paul Carrack usually performed.  This time around, the song had a very deep meaning for Carrack, as he himself had lost his father at the age of eleven.

The end result was a haunting, yet passionate performance by Mike + The Mechanics, leading to one of their biggest hits of their whole career.


These days, Mike + The Mechanics are still going on, though Mike Rutherford is the only original band member remaining.  Paul Carrack stayed with the band for a number of years before the band temporarily went on hiatus in 2004.  But when Carrack decided to put his time and energy into more solo projects, he was unable to come back to the band.  Sadly, Paul Young passed away on July 15, 2000.

“The Living Years” is a song that is quite bittersweet in nature, and I think the song gives off a fantastic message.  Every day, men and women fall out with their parents, and some don’t end up speaking to them for years.  By the time they work up the nerve to smooth things over, it’s too little too late.  After all, one of the lyrics states “it’s too late when we die.”

Now, I realize that in some cases, it’s an impossibility for people to want anything to do with their fathers...some relationships are just too dysfunctional to even repair.  But, if there is a chance for you to make things right with an estranged father, why not make today that day to attempt to patch things up?  Regardless of how it ends, you might get some comfort in knowing that you tried.


Just a thought to ponder this Father’s Day.

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Wait Till Your Father Gets Home


It's Father's Day weekend this weekend, and I thought that I would use this opportunity to post two father themed entries. I have a special Sunday Jukebox planned for tomorrow, but I admit that I had a really tough time finding a topic for Saturday's entry. Mostly because any of the possible ideas that I could come up with, I have already talked about in this blog.

I really had to go way back into the part of my brain where my earliest childhood memories lay in order to come up with a suitable topic for today's discussion. And for some reason, there was this one program that I vaguely remember watching as a kid on Global Television back in the 1980s. There was very little that I remember about the show itself. I couldn't tell you what it was about, nor could I tell you what the names of the main characters were. But there were a few details about the show that I did remember. I remembered that the animation was quite basic, with a lot of empty white backgrounds. I remembered that one of the characters was voiced by the same guy who played the dad on “Happy Days”. And, I remember that the theme song kept repeating the words “wait 'til your father gets home” over and over again.

So, armed with this information, I did a quick Google search, hoping that this was enough to locate the show. I had figured that since the theme song had the words “wait 'til your father gets home” included in the lyrics, it had to be a show that I could talk about this Father's Day weekend. Little did I realize was that the song lyrics were all that I needed to find this mystery show!



The intro you just watched happens to be from the animated sitcom, “Wait Till Your Father Gets Home”, which aired in first-run syndication between 1972 and 1974. 



Although most people who did watch the program usually watched it on their NBC affiliates, where it ran for 48 episodes. It was produced by Hanna-Barbera. The show had its beginnings on the old ABC show “Love, American Style” in a segment called “Love and the Old-Fashioned Father”.

TRIVIA: Did you know that before it became a cartoon series, it was attempted as a live-action show? A pilot was even filmed featuring Van Johnson, but for whatever reason, it was not picked up.



Oh, and the “Happy Days” connection? Tom Bosley, who played the role of Howard Cunningham in “Happy Days” voiced the main character of “Wait Till Your Father Gets Home”. He voiced the character of Harry Boyle, who was almost similar to an animated version of “All In The Family's” Archie Bunker. In fact, the show was created with the popular CBS sitcom in mind.

Before I go on with the descriptions of the characters in this cartoon, I thought that I would post a few clips of episodes for all of you to watch. After all, the best way to introduce the characters of the show is for you to see how they interact with each other, right?

Okay, so I've posted three different episodes for you all to watch below. Click on the links below this paragraph to watch...


Before I go on, I should share with you a little bit of trivia in regards to that last episode I posted. “The New Car” brought forth a little bit of controversy. 



Apparently, a man named Cal Worthington, who sold cars in the Los Angeles area accused the show of using his persona to design the used car salesman featured in the episode, and actually sued Hanna-Barbera, Chevrolet (one of the show's main sponsors), as well as five NBC stations. But, I don't know exactly how the lawsuit ended, as I wasn't born when the show aired for the first time.



Anyway, back to the show discussion. I already talked about Harry Boyle a bit, but here's the rest of the Boyle family. There's Harry's wife, Irma (Joan Gerber), and his three children. Harry's daughter Alice (Kristina Holland), a heavy-set girl who fought for women's liberation rights. As well, Harry had two sons, Chet (David Hayward/Lennie Weinrib), and Jamie (Jackie Earle Haley/Willie Aames). Chet and Jamie could not be further apart from each other in personality. Chet had long-hair, was lazy, and constantly without a job. Jamie, on the other hand, was more conservative in thinking, and was as charming as well as mercenary.

Whenever there were family discussions, it became clear who the favourites of each parent were. Because Irma was more of a free-thinker than her husband, she often understood Alice and Chet more when their liberal thinking clashed with Harry's conservative ideas, although to the credit of Irma, she managed to stay in her zone of neutrality. Jamie, on the other hand, frequently sided with his father, out of a sign of sympathy.



But, lest you believe that Harry Boyle is the epitome of right-wing thinking, think again. Harry's neighbour, Ralph Kane (Jack Burns) was even more to the left of the political spectrum than Harry was, and he was a huge believer in every conspiracy theory under the sun. Together with his neighbour, Sara Whittaker, the two have essentially turned one section of the street into a virtual armed camp. Though Harry gets along with Ralph, even Harry concedes that Ralph's extreme attitude towards life is a little bit too extreme, even for him.

But the one thing that I can definitely say about “Wait Til Your Father Gets Home” is that despite all of the family squabbles and the obvious liberal/conservative divide that seems to be evident between Harry and his children (well, two of the three anyway), by the end of the episode, they can put all of their differences behind them, and still be a united family unit. And, I think that's a life lesson that all of us can learn.

Though, watching the show once more through adult eyes (I think I was five when Global was airing it), I find it hard to believe that Global once aired the show during the 5:30pm time slot on Saturdays...but then again, the show currently airs reruns of “Family Guy” on that station, so maybe they were a bit ahead of their time...

Friday, June 15, 2012

Step By Step


I was one of those kids who grew up in a family where my mother and father stayed together (and are still married as of right now).  So, as a result, I never had to deal with the idea of having a step-mother, step-father, step-brothers, or step-sisters.  I did know a lot of people who did have to deal with being in a step-family, and generally speaking, the relationships that they had with their step-parents and step-siblings usually ranged from happiness, to tolerance, to bitter hatred. 

The fact remains that out of all of us in this world (or at the very least, this continent), being a part of a step-family will be a reality for about half of us.  The divorce rate for couples these days is hovering around the 50% mark, and of those, quite a large portion of that 50% remarry.

Now, I imagine that when people try their luck at marriage for a second time (or third, fourth, or twelfth), and there happens to be children involved, some of them have a rather idyllic view of how a step-family is going to be.  After all, we did see the ideal step-family situation in the long running television sitcom “The Brady Bunch”, where Carol’s three girls and Mike’s three boys magically get along with each other from the moment the couple exchange their wedding vows right before the family pet trashes the wedding reception.

However, not all families are as practically perfect as the Brady Bunch.  In fact, I would say that finding a step-family exactly like the Brady Bunch would be almost an impossible challenge.  Although I don’t know what it is like to be a part of a step-family, I know quite a few people who are, including a couple of family members.  And believe me when I tell you that their first few days as a family were nothing like that of the Brady family.  It took them a lot of work, patience, and persistence in order to keep the peace within the blended family.

Kind of like the blended family that we’re going to feature in this blog entry.


The blended family that we’re going to be talking about is the Lambert-Foster family of Port Washington, Wisconsin, the family that happens to be the stars of the TGIF sitcom, “Step By Step”.


“Step By Step” was created by William Bickley and Michael Warren, and was developed by the popular Miller/Boyett production team.  It initially debuted on ABC on September 20, 1991, and stayed on the network until the summer of 1997.  The show was then moved to CBS along with “Family Matters” for one more season, ending its seven season run on June 26, 1998.


The sitcom certainly had star power from the very beginning.  Suzanne Somers was cast as Carol Foster, a widowed beautician who had three children.  For Somers, this was her first sitcom on ABC following her abrupt 1981 firing from “Three’s Company”.  The role of Frank Lambert, a divorced contractor with three children of his own, was taken on by Patrick Duffy, who had just completed his work on “Dallas”, playing Bobby Ewing.

On the show’s pilot episode, we learn that Frank and Carol ended up meeting each other while they were on separate vacations in Jamaica.  Long story short, both of them ended up falling in love with each other, and made the spontaneous decision to get married while they were in Jamaica.

Okay, so the sitcom was somewhat contrived from the beginning. 

FRANK:  “Hi, Carol, I’ve only known you for four days...let’s get married.”

CAROL:  “Okay, Frank!”

Never mind the fact that they would eventually have to explain to their children that they were married, and that all of them would be moving into the same house as one big happy family.

Wouldn’t that be an awkward conversation to have?

As if that wasn’t bad enough, the Lambert children and the Foster children already knew each other from school.  And as to be expected, they all had their issues with each other before Frank and Carol even knew each other.  After all, Frank and Carol just happened to live in the same town as each other this whole time, yet they never met each other until they went to Jamaica.

Yes, you can say it with me folks.  How contrived.


Let’s take Carol’s children, for instance.  There was Dana (Staci Keanan), an intelligent perfectionist who also doubled as a feminist with an extreme moral compass, even if she acted superior to others as a result.  Karen (Angela Watson) was depicted as a mall rat that cared more about shopping and cosmetics than schoolwork and tests, but occasionally she had her moments of level-headedness and aspired to make it big as either a model or a singer.  And Mark (Christopher Castile) was the token nerd of the series who loved computers and science.


And let’s contrast that with Frank’s kids.  J.T. (Brandon Call) was the typical slacker, who often had the attitude that the less work he did, the better it was, and he often did poorly in school.  Alicia (Christine Lakin) was such a tomboy that she demanded that people call her “Al” instead, not afraid to get into a fight.  Then there was Brendan (Josh Byrne), the youngest of the children who mostly kept to himself.

Apparently, Frank and Carol believed that it would be a great idea to bring all the kids together at a family barbecue where they could finally meet each other, and where they could break the news to them that they had gotten married.  Why don’t we watch the first episode of the program by clicking HERE, HERE, and HERE to see how that all worked out?  By the way, the second part includes the barbecue, if you wanted to just skip to that section.

So, just to recap...Dana and J.T. hated each other with the fire of a million suns.  Al was completely turned off by Dana’s snotty behaviour and Karen’s vain attitude.  Even Mark and Brendan were fighting with each other.  Poor Carol and Frank had their hands full.  Throw in Frank’s nephew Cody (Sasha Mitchell), who also happened to have a mad crush on Dana that always went unreciprocated, and you had a tentative recipe for disaster.

But eventually, the ice between the Fosters and the Lamberts would begin to thaw.  When Al complained of stomach pains, Frank and the other Lambert children dismissed it as her wanting to skip school.  Carol believed her, and after a trip to the doctor’s office, it was revealed that Al had appendicitis.  This caused Al to befriend Carol, and was the beginning of the true merging of the two families.  As the series progressed, Al became closer to her step-siblings and shed her tomboy image.  Although Dana and J.T. still badmouthed each other, they reached a mutual understanding and both of them helped the other one out in a variety of ways.  Frank and Carol eventually ended up having a child of their own named Lily (Emily Mae Young), and Brendan ended up pulling a Chuck Cunningham and disappeared from the series for the whole final season.


I guess in conclusion, the show itself was a bit unbelievable in some instances, but on the other hand, it really depicted what life was like for a blended family in the 1990s.  No, it wasn’t as picture perfect as the Brady Bunch, but it certainly did have its share of nice moments.  I imagine that a lot of people watched the show when they were going through their own issues with being a part of a blended family and came upon the realization that if the Lambert-Foster family could make it work, they could make the effort as well.

It’s funny though.  While I was doing the research for this blog entry on “Step By Step”, I ended up getting a lot of trivia information that I didn’t even know myself!  I imagine you’d like to know some of this trivia, wouldn’t you?

Here it is.

1 – Jaleel White guest starred on the second episode of the series as his Steve Urkel persona.

2 – Three stars of “Perfect Strangers” have ties to this show.  Mark Linn-Baker directed some episodes of the series, while Melanie Wilson and Bronson Pinchot had roles on the series.  In the case of Pinchot, he appeared in the contract role of Jean-Luc during the show’s sixth season.




3 – Bronson Pinchot was cast after the abrupt departure of Sasha Mitchell, who left the show amidst allegations of spousal abuse.  Mitchell was later acquitted of all charges, and was allowed to appear in the 1998 series finale.

4 – Some of the actors of Step By Step worked with each other previously.  Patrick Duffy worked with Sasha Mitchell on “Dallas”, while Staci Keanan and Christopher Castile were on the failed ABC sitcom “Going Places”.

5 – The role of Mark was initially played by Jarrett Lennon, but was recast with Christopher Castile.  In fact, in the earliest opening credits, you might see an unidentifiable black haired child...that was Lennon.  It also explains why Castile was the only cast member who did not appear on the roller coaster at the end of the credits.

6 – If the Lambert/Foster residence interior looks familiar, it’s because it was used on “The Hogan Family”.

7 – The amusement park used in the opening credits of the show is Six Flags Magic Mountain.  The water was digitally added.

8 – As you well know, Patrick Duffy was written out of “Dallas” for one year during the infamous “dream season”.  Upon his return in 1986, Duffy’s contract was amended with the promise that he would get cast in another television show after “Dallas” ended.  “Step By Step” was that show.

9 – The show had a lot of inside jokes in relation to other projects that the stars were on.  For example, J.T. tells Frank that if he’s watching Baywatch with his wife, you know nothing about marriage”.  Brandon Call was the first Hobie on “Baywatch” before being replaced with Jeremy Jackson.

10 – The addition of Bronson Pinchot and Jason Marsden to the cast helped save the show from cancellation in May 1996.

11 – The first season featured Peggy Rea and Patrika Darbo as Carol’s mother and sister, who worked at Carol’s salon which was attached to her house.  After season two, the two women, and the salon set, were never seen again.

12 – The show was in the Top 10 in the Nielsen ratings between 1994 and 1996.


13 - In 1996, Brandon Call was injured after being shot at outside of the studios after taping had wrapped up.  He was shot in both arms, but managed to avoid serious injury.

14 – The theme song was written by Jesse Frederick and Bennett Salvay, who also composed the themes for “Full House”, “Family Matters”, and “Perfect Strangers”.


15 – The character of Lily was aged five years in a single season, similar to that of Chrissy Seaver in “Growing Pains”.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Giving The Old College Try The Old College Try...Again!


Before I embark on today’s Thursday Confession, I just want to remind everybody that the Pop Culture Addict’s Guide To Life 1st Anniversary Contest is still going on, but only for a limited time.  You have until June 30th to enter the scavenger hunt that is located on my blog entry dated May 24.  Remember what the prize is...the chance to control my blog for one whole week.  You get to pick the topics, as well as have the opportunity to write your own piece in the Thursday Confession block.  I wish I could do more, but alas, I can’t afford it.  As you’ll see as you read my confession for today, you’ll understand why I need to pinch as many pennies as possible.

I just want to state something right off the bat.  I have been at my current place of employment for seven and a half years.  Although there have been some instances that I’d rather forget about, I’ve more or less enjoyed my time inside the store.  The people I work with are like family, and as far as the work itself goes, I can handle the workload.

But, I have been doing a lot of thinking about my life and my career goals, and the more I think about it, the more I’m beginning to realize that I want to do more.  And, this past week, I’ve come to the realization that the possibility to do more won’t necessarily happen.  I’m not saying that it’s going to be impossible, but at this stage in the game, it’s not likely to happen.

So, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and the only way that I feel that I can do more with my career goals and my life goals is to find a way to go back to school and get a degree.

And this is where my confession begins.


THURSDAY CONFESSION #24:  The idea of going back to school at the age of 31 scares me to death, not because of the fact that it has been a while since I have been in a classroom, but because I worry that I won’t have the discipline to follow through with it.

It sounds incredibly insane for me to think that way, doesn’t it?  To be perfectly honest, I’m kind of embarrassed to admit that this is the truth.

Because when I first entered post-secondary education, I only managed to stay a grand total of two years before deciding that I hated it, and dropped out without a degree.

I guess I should explain the reason why.

I attended a university campus in Ottawa, Ontario between September 2000 and April 2002.  And, you know, I’ll readily admit that my first year went fantastic.  Granted, the whole Resin scandal of 2001 left a bit of a bitter taste in my mouth, but other than that, I really did enjoy my first year.  But something happened between first and second year that made me enjoy school less and less, and by the end, I made the decision to leave school forever to go work in retail.

For years, I always saw leaving my post-secondary career in the dust as my biggest regret in life.  When I left that school, I felt like the biggest failure in the whole world.  It didn’t matter to me that I had known people who didn’t survive college the first time around as I had.  I felt as though I had wasted my time, and all that I had to show for my college career was a fourteen thousand dollar debt.

(Luckily, I have paid back about 80% of that loan since then, but I’ll tell you all one thing...if you can, keep your grades up and get a scholarship.)

So, how did it all go wrong?

Well, I’ll be honest with you.  I didn’t exactly do a whole lot of planning when it came to choosing schools.  I didn’t do any research, I didn’t bother checking tuition fees, and I certainly didn’t meet with any high school guidance counselors because I simply didn’t believe that they had my best interests at heart (which I won’t go into here, as I feel that it could very well be a Thursday Confession in itself).  I just knew that at that particular time in my life, I was interested in journalism and reporting, and I applied to any schools that had that program.  But, I completely ignored all colleges.  At my high school, everyone was going to large universities because they all felt that they would get more out of it, so I made the decision that I would do the same.  It didn’t matter to me that there were several technical colleges in the area that could teach people journalism.  I didn’t think that they would give me as much of a quality education as a university could.

Looking back upon retrospect, I think that was a huge mistake on my part.  But, we’ll get to that a little bit later.

Long story short, there were only two schools in Ontario that offered journalism.  Coming from a family that never had a lot of money, I knew that I could not afford to go to a school outside of Ontario, so I took my chances.  To my surprise, I did get accepted to one of my schools, but not in the journalism program.  I was a little below the cutoff average to make it in, and I was told early on that it would be next to impossible to get into the program due to the competitive nature of it.  Instead, I had to settle for taking mass communications, which was fine with me.  After all, it was a media course, and at the time, I believed that I wanted a career in the media, so I went with it.


That first year of university, I really did enjoy all of my classes.  In addition to mass communications, I also took film studies (which I also loved), an English writing course (in which I was one of two students to get an A on the midterm), a sociology class (which was okay), and a French seminar (which I probably had no business taking in the first place).  In addition, I really enjoyed the business and excitement of on-campus living.  For the first time in my whole life, I was surrounded by people my age who liked me for who I was.  Nobody judged me or made fun of me...it was absolutely awesome.

But that whole first year, I was heavily involved in the Resin which ended on a sour note, and I was busy hanging out with my new friends when I really probably should have been studying or working on papers.  But, I was doing well in my classes, and I didn’t think that having a few social outings would harm my grades.

But in a way, they did.  And, when it came time to get my final grades, I was actually quite happy with my 79.9% average.  Granted, I didn’t make the Dean’s List or anything, but that wasn’t what my goal was.  My goal was to stay in mass communications for the next three years, get a degree in the course, and go on to become the next Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, or Max Keeping.

It’s just a shame that I didn’t read the fine print in regards to what the cutoff average was to stay in the program.  Had I bothered to read it, I would have worked a little bit harder.

You see, the cutoff to stay in the program was having a total average of 80% or higher.  And, I was the one with a 79.9% average.

I missed the cutoff by a tenth of a percentage point.  As a result, I was booted from the program.



I was completely pissed.  I was angry, and I didn’t understand what went wrong.  As I turned 20, I was at a complete loss as to what I was going to do.  I set up a meeting with a counselor at the school to see what I could do to remain in the program.  I was willing to take summer classes, or redo a test paper, or perform an interpretive dance if I thought it would make any difference.  But, despite my pleas, there was only one way for me to get back into the program.

Redo my entire first year.

Those words still ring in my ear on occasion.  To have to go and redo the whole year over again so I could get an average of eighty per cent was absolutely ridiculous to me.  But that’s how that school operated.  They wanted the highest standards possible, and they didn’t bend the rules for anyone.  I got that.  But, I only missed the cutoff by so little.  Couldn’t they just have rounded up to the next digit so I could have had a shot of continuing on with the program? 

I made the decision to stick with the school for a second year.  Instead of staying in my beloved mass communications program, I opted to switch to a general arts program, which I knew would end up not getting me very far.  But at that time, my options were limited, and that one seemed like the best fit.

But after sticking with that program for the rest of the year, I decided that I really didn’t like it at all.  The classes were pointless, and I didn’t feel as though I was learning any skills necessary for life after university at all.  By that spring, I had made the decision that I would end up regretting for the better part of a decade.

It was time to cut my losses, and move on.

My initial plan was to try and transfer to a different school, and I almost had my foot in the door of one the following year...but when they demanded that I give them a cash payment for tuition up front that I didn’t have at the time, I lost my spot there.  The year after that, I worked a bunch of temporary jobs before landing the job that I currently have now.

And, that’s where the story ends, as well as my short lived career as a university student.

For the longest time, I really beat myself up over not being able to have the drive or the motivation to get a degree.  As I said before, it was one of the biggest regrets that I had.  But, you know, it took me this long to realize why it was that I failed in university.

I was too immature to really take university seriously.

Think about that for a second.  When I graduated high school, my main motivation behind going to university was not to better myself...it was to get as far away from the town that brought me so much pain through the teasing and bullying I endured throughout my whole school career.  And besides, my home life was sort of screwed up at the time as well, as my family was forced to vacate their home to find another one that summer and tensions were at an all-time high.  The further away I was from that mess, the better it was as far as I was concerned.

If I had to do it over again, I probably would not have been in such a rush to go to school.  I think I would have waited a couple of years and saved some money in a savings account so I could really sit down and plan out my education goals.  Instead, I adopted a rather impulsive attitude, and it really ended up being my downfall. 

I think that would have really looked at those college brochures a lot closer, and realized that getting a degree from a college doesn’t make it less valued than that from a prestigious university.  True, university graduates on average make more money than college graduates, but I’ve never really lived extravagantly, so it wouldn’t have been a big deal anyway.  In fact, if I had to go back in time, I probably would have done the college thing instead of the university thing, because the only thing I realized by going to university was that I hated it.  I’m the type of person who really needed small class sizes and more one-on-one instruction, and you certainly never get that at a university.  Unfortunately for me, I learned that lesson the hard way.

Finally, I probably should have taken university more seriously once I was there, but I was so caught up in the idea of having a social life that the schoolwork took a back seat.  You have to understand that in high school, I was never invited to parties, or went to dances, or even visited friends at their houses.  I was making up for lost memories, I suppose.  But, you know what’s funny?  Although my social life probably didn’t help improve my average any, I wouldn’t trade those moments for the world.  So, in a way, I suppose that I did get something out of it.

And you know something else?  Now that I have this out in the open, I feel a lot better about it.  Do I still regret not getting that degree?  In a way, I do, only because I would have liked to have gotten a degree of some sort.  At the same time, I guess I can be thankful that I realized that university life was not for me before I got too far into debt.  There are lots of people out there who DO get degrees in a subject and realize too late that the venture was a total waste of time.  If there are any positives to take from this, it’s that.

Still, I know that my leaving university prematurely has closed a lot of doors for me, and I think that it’s time for me to break open those doors again.  Granted, I am 31, and the opportunities may not be as plentiful as they were when I was 21.  But, I’ve made peace with the fact that I’ll never be America’s Next Top Model, and I’m sure that I’ll make peace with the idea that there are some careers that I’m too old to get started in.

But I’ll never know until I try.  And, I’ll admit it.  At 31, I’m scared to death over completely changing my whole life around to go back to college.  There’s a huge risk that comes out of it, but at least the second time around, I can take the time to really research schools and decide what the best option I have is.  And this time, I won’t ignore the guidance counselors.  I need all the help I can get, especially when it comes to funding my education.

This deciding to go back to school idea that I have is one that makes me incredibly nervous and apprehensive.  But I have to take that chance.  Because while I know that I have made meaningful contributions to society, going back to school will give me the opportunity to make a meaningful contribution to myself.

And, dammit, I’m worth it!

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Having a bad day? So has Alexander...


I would like to believe that in our lives, the majority of our days are great days.  I think for the most part, we’re able to find something about each day that is positive, and makes us happy.  Life, after all, is about finding those simplest pleasures and holding on to them.

Of course, there are some days that aren’t quite so good.  Days in which you wish you had stayed in bed.  Days in which you wish you could erase from your memory forever.  Days like the ones that Kim Stockwood sings about in the chorus of her 1999 song, “12 Years Old”.


I think that we’ve all had those days. 

You know, the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days?

Hey, wait a minute.  That last sentence sounds very familiar.  It’s almost as if I’ve heard it mentioned somewhere before, like in a children’s book.


Oh, yes!  That’s right.  It was part of the title.  Judith Viorst’s “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day”.  Now I remember!  I loved that book.

In fact, I think I’m going to discuss this book in the blog.  It’s been a while since I’ve done a blog entry on a literary work, and I think this is a great book to talk about.

Because I’ll level with all of you right here.  June 2012 has not exactly been the kindest month to me so far.  Almost every day in June so far could classify as a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day in many ways.  Stress from neighbours, work-related disappointments, having to back out of a couple of commitments...it’s been a bit of a crazy month.  But, if there’s anything that I have learned, it’s that bad days, no matter how terrible and horrible they are, they are only as bad as one makes them out to be.

Sure, the last few days haven’t been my best.  But the month isn’t quite over yet, and I am hopeful that things will get better.  But even if they don’t, I don’t have to let them get to me.

Alexander on the other hand...well, we’ll get to him a little bit later.

“Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day” was first printed exactly 40 years ago, in June 1972.  It is widely considered to be Viorst’s most well-known works.  The book is listed as an American Library Association (ALA) Notable Children’s Book, and has won the George C. Stone Center Recognition of Merit, and a Georgia Children’s Book Award.  The book was also featured on the popular children’s television program, “Reading Rainbow”.

When it came down to creating the main characters of the book, all Judith had to do was look to her family for inspiration.  The title character was named after Judith’s youngest son, Alexander.  Judith’s other two sons, Nick and Anthony, were also drawn into the story as Alexander’s older brothers. 


And, as you might have figured out, inside the thirty-two pages of the book, Alexander is about to have one of the worst days of his whole life...all seven years of it or however old he is supposed to be at the time the book was written.  Right from the beginning, when Alexander wakes up with gum in his hair, he realizes that the day is not going to go very well. 

As much as I hate to spoil the book’s plot, it’s necessary for me to list all the things that happened to poor little Alexander on his most terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.  Part of the reason why is because I imagine that we all have had some of what happened to Alexander happen to us as well.  But there’s another reason why I wanted to list everything.  I’ll fill you in once the list is up.

So, on Alexander’s terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day, the following happened;

-      He trips on his skateboard

-      He accidentally submerges his sweater in the bathroom sink filled with water



-      He’s the only kid not to have a prize inside his cereal box

-      He doesn’t get a window seat in the car pool

-      His teacher does not like his picture of an invisible castle



-      He forgets what number comes between 15 and 17

-      His best friend, Paul, decides to play with someone else



-      His mother forgets to pack Alexander a dessert inside his lunch

-      The dentist finds a cavity inside Alexander’s teeth

-      The elevator door closes on his foot

-      He is teased by his brothers, and gets in trouble when he attempts to fight back

-      The store is sold out of the sneakers he wanted to wear

-      He causes a mess inside his father’s office

-      He is forced to eat lima beans for dinner, and is forced to watch kissing on television

-      He has to wear pajamas that he absolutely hates to bed

-      His nightlight burns out

-      Nick takes back a pillow, and the cat would rather sleep with Anthony.



Isn’t that just the worst day ever?  Why, it’s enough to make one want to move to Australia or something!  In fact, Alexander absolutely insists that he will be moving to Australia in order to never have another bad day again.

TRIVIA:  In the Australia and New Zealand printings of the book, the line is changed so that Alexander wishes to move to Timbuktu.

Ah, but let’s take another look back at that list.  Right off the bat, I can say that quite a few of these things have happened to me when I was a child.  I’ve had a few cavities back in the day.  I remember the frustration of shoe shopping very well (to this day, I absolutely despise shoe shopping due to the fact that my feet are on the large side), and I remember many instances in which I woke up with gum inside my hair as well.  And, I imagine that when I was Alexander’s age, having all of these things happen in one day would be quite rough.  In fact, I can recall one instance where I myself had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.  It was third grade, and we went on a field trip to a city park.  On that particular day, I fell off the merry-go-round and skinned my knee, got in trouble for eating chocolate pudding when lunch was still hours away, and I got hit in the face by a Frisbee!  It was terrible, and horrible, and certainly not a very good day. 

But, I survived it.  And for the record, the day ended on a high note for me.

As for the ending of the book, Alexander is lamenting over the fact that he has lived through the worst day of his whole life.  But in the end, he ended up surviving it as well.

In the grand scheme of things, Alexander’s bad day was just a blip.  He didn’t have to let it define his whole life.  And, certainly, I’m not letting my bad days define my whole life.  How depressing would life be if we let our bad days drive us absolutely crazy?  We’d be cheating ourselves out of the moments that make life worth living.  And that would be really terrible, horrible, no good, and very bad.

At any rate, this book is an absolute classic, and it certainly wasn’t the last time that we would hear from Alexander.  The book was turned into a television special in 1990, and in 1998, the book was turned into a musical production in a joint collaboration between Judith Viorst and the Kennedy Center.


On top of that, there were a couple of follow-up books that were released starring Alexander, including 1977’s “Alexander Who Used to Be Rich Last Sunday”, and 1995’s “Alexander, Who Is Not (Do You Hear Me? I Mean It!) Going To Move”. 



And in 2007, Viorst actually wrote a memoir entitled “Alexander and the Wonderful, Marvelous, Excellent, Terrific Ninety Days”, which depicted what happened when the real Alexander and his family moved back home with Judith for three months. I have not read this particular book yet, but I think I will have to seek it out, because it sounds interesting.

I guess the point that the book was trying to make (as well as the point this blog is making) is that bad days happen...but they don’t have to take over our lives.  All we can do is leave it in the past and move on.

After all, Alexander’s mother said it best.  Sometimes, days are bad.

Even in Australia.