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Sunday, November 11, 2012

I Will Remember You




The above piece that you all just heard is the musical piece known as “Taps”.  It is usually played at the funeral services of those who served in the U.S. Military, and is typically performed using a bugle or a trumpet.  The song is also played at flag ceremonies and is a common song heard at various meetings of the Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, and Girl Guides.

It’s also a song that holds a lot of meaning, especially for today.


The 11th of November is a date that has three different names, depending on what nation you happen to live in.  If you are Canadian, like myself, or live in a country that is part of the British Commonwealth of Nations, today is Remembrance Day.  If you live in the United States, today is Veterans Day.  And in countries such as France and Belgium, this is Armistice Day.  Each of these days first originated in 1918.  On the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month, the armistice was signed between the allied nations of the first World War and Germany, which effectively ended World War I.

Since November 11, 1918, millions of people all over the world have paused every November 11 at 11:00am to reflect and remember those soldiers who have passed on during combat missions in the fight for our freedom.  These include soldiers who have died in World War I, World War II, the Korean War, the Vietnam War, the Persian Gulf War, and Operation: Iraqi Freedom.  And there are many ways in which we pay tribute to our fallen heroes.

We can wear a poppy (a symbol for Armistice/Remembrance/Veterans Day that was taken from John McCrae’s poem “In Flanders Fields”) over our hearts in remembrance.  We can visit the cenotaphs and war memorials all over the world to pay tribute.  And we observe a moment of silence (lasting two minutes in total) at 11:00am to stop and remember those who died for us so that we can still have the freedoms that we have today.

That’s partly the reason why I chose to play “Taps” at the very beginning of this blog entry.  I want everyone to take a look back and really understand what some of these men and women gave up in order for us to remain free to be whoever we want to be.  Some of these soldiers were our fathers, grandfathers, great-grandfathers, brothers, sons, husbands, wives, daughters, sisters, mothers.  Many went off to war never seeing their loved ones ever again.  That’s a huge sacrifice for these heroes to have to give so that we could live in peace.  It’s why I feel strongly about Remembrance Day, and why I feel that we owe it to our fallen comrades to remember them with the dignity and valour they rightfully deserve.

So in keeping with the spirit of Remembrance Day, I thought that I would choose a song from the Sunday Jukebox that goes along with the idea of that sacrifice.  A song that depicts the loved ones left behind after a family member or friend goes off to war, and the grim possibility of them never coming home again. 

Well, I decided to make a bit of a compromise in that regard.  While there were several songs that I could have used, only one actually had a music video that had the very visual aids that I was searching for.

Although I already did a spotlight on the artist who sang this song in the early beginnings of this blog, it’s really the song I want to focus on, not the artist.


ARTIST:  Amy Grant
SONG:  I Will Remember You
ALBUM:  Heart In Motion
DATE RELEASED:  March 31, 1992
PEAK POSITION ON THE BILLBOARD CHARTS:  #20


Now, as far as the song’s success on the charts goes, there’s not a whole lot to say about it.  It was one of the lowest charting singles released from Amy Grant’s “Heart in Motion”.  However, it was also the seventh single to chart from the album, which goes to show just how successful the album was.  And why shouldn’t it have been successful?  It was Amy Grant’s first album that transitioned her from a contemporary Christian artist to a major pop star.  And, hey, the ballad did make the Top 20.  There’s quite a few artists out there who could only dream of having a song make it that high (though Amy Grant did have songs that charted higher such as “Baby Baby”, which topped the charts in 1991).

Some of you might be wondering why I specifically chose this particular song for this day.  On the surface, it doesn’t appear to be a song that really fits the theme of today.  For most of us, the song appears to be about experiencing a break-up in a relationship, or trying to get over a broken heart by remembering the good things about a relationship.

This is where the music video comes into play.

I’ll admit that when I was watching the video for the first time, I couldn’t really tell whether it was all the same storyline, or if it was three different stories going on at once.  The whole video is designed sort of like a scrapbook or a photo album, and as pages are turned, we see the images of several scenes fading in and out of the background.  Amy is singing in some of the photographs, but we also see a man swimming in a pool, a couple who is very much in love, various images of people saying farewell at a train station...


...and several images of soldiers going off to war.

There are also images of people checking their mailboxes for letters (presumably from their loved ones who are fighting in a war), and towards the end of the video, we see a woman reading a letter, looking at it in shock, and breaking down in the arms of someone else in obvious grief.

Now, I’ve never been in a situation where I have had to see one of my loved ones go off to fight battles overseas...but I am positive that quite a number of you who are reading this blog entry right now have.  And one thing that this video does is showcase the loss of someone through different perspectives.

The obvious loss is that of those left behind.  The wives, the children, and other family members of those soldiers who never came back home again.  But remember at the very beginning of the video where we see two soldiers leaving the front of a house together?  You see both of them make an appearance right around the time in which the bridge of the song is sung.  You’ll know when that time arrives when you start seeing images of flames superimposed over an image of Amy singing on the beach.  There’s a rather graphic set of black and white shots that show one of the soldiers in camouflage uniform trying to avoid the gunfire and explosions surrounding him.  Unfortunately, he ends up getting hit by a round of gunfire and dies shortly after...in the arms of the other soldier who was with him.

And I think that a lot of us probably don’t realize that in many ways the very soldiers who survived the war suffered losses as well.  Many of them watched as their friends and colleagues died in battles, and some were left with physical and emotional scars as a result of it.  I couldn’t imagine watching one of my friends die right before my eyes.  It must be an image that is burned in the eyes of any war veteran.


In my eyes, Amy Grant’s “I Will Remember You” could symbolize the loss of a relationship, or remembering the death of a loved one.  But given the imagery that we have seen in the video, I think that the lyrics could also be used as a symbol of remembrance to those who died for their country.  I think in a lot of ways, whether we were related to the fallen heroes of previous wars or not, they will forever be remembered and loved by those who see them as defenders of nations and heroes of freedom.  I remember in my youth meeting a couple of veterans who fought in the second World War, and being absolutely blown away by the stories that they told us about what life was like back then.  Some of the tales were heroic, but some of them were tragic as well.  So many lives were lost, and so many families were heartbroken.

But as long as we keep the memories of those who lost their lives in times of war, in some way, they never really fade away.  They live on in the hearts of every man, woman, and child. 


So many years come and gone
And yet the memory is strong
One word we never could learn
Good-bye
True love is frozen in time
I’ll be your champion and you’ll be mine
I will remember you
So please remember
I will remember you

To end this blog entry off...a re-posting of the John McCrae poem, “In Flanders Fields”.


In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.




Saturday, November 10, 2012

Denver The Last Dinosaur


One of the best things about being a kid was running home after suffering through a day at school, grabbing a snack out of the refrigerator, sitting down on the living room sofa, and watching some of my favourite cartoons.

Back in the days in which I was a kid, there was never a shortage of cartoons to watch. I think I almost had an addiction to cartoons. There were many days in which I would end up having to finish homework assignments the morning before school because my addiction to cartoons took over.

(Yet I still managed to get fantastic grades...go figure.)

As you might have already guessed by the blog, I love talking about cartoons that I used to watch as a child. Some of them were well-known cartoons that millions of kids watched, such as Bugs Bunny and Tweety, Garfield and Friends, and Spider-Man.

But I also loved cartoons that were one-shot deals. Cartoons that only lasted a season or two. And whenever I try to talk to people about cartoons that were short-lived, many don't even know what I am talking about. They either don't remember the show, or they believe that the show didn't even exist.

Such was the case with this particular television series.



Denver the Last Dinosaur” came out at a time in which dinosaur themed television shows seemed to be in vogue (“Dink the Little Dinosaur”, “The Land Before Time”, etc.).



For whatever reason though, I always liked “Denver the Last Dinosaur” the best out of all of them (and that's despite the fact that the opening theme song doesn't hold up as well in 2012 as it did in the late 1980s).

The show debuted in syndication as a one-hour television special on April 1, 1988 and ran until early 1990, and was one of the few cartoons to air that was recommended by the National Educational Association (NEA) as the program focused on subjects such as ecology, conservation, and friendship. The voice cast for the cartoon included Pat Fraley, Rob Paulsen, Kath Soucie, Adam Carl, Brian Cummings, and Cam Clarke.

So, what was the show all about?



This is Denver. His species name is Corythosaurus and he is the only dinosaur to be born in the twentieth century. How did this happen?



It all began with the teenagers preparing for an Ancient History Test. The teenagers included Jeremy, Mario, Shades, Casey, and Wally. In preparation for the test, they decide to take a trip to the La Brea Tar Pits, which was a huge source for extinct plant and animal fossils.
They also make a visit to the museum where they happen to run into a gang of bullies. The leader of the pack of bullies, Nick, and his followers, Scott and Rod, have a confrontation with the teens, and chase them back to the Tar Pits. They manage to lose the bullies when they hide behind a fence nearby, but they notice something rather peculiar on the other side of the fence. When they go to investigate what it is, they accidentally fall on top of a large dark-coloured egg. Soon after that, the egg begins to hatch, and Denver is born, leaving the four boys and one girl with their mouths open-wide in astonishment. Until that moment, they had never seen a real-life dinosaur, let alone having one of them hatch right in front of them. Luckily for them, Denver doesn't decide to make them into his first meal. He just wanted to be friends with them.

TRIVIA: The name “Denver” came from an advertisement on the side of a tour bus, telling people to visit Denver, Colorado.



At first, the kids all have fun with their prehistoric friend, Denver. They teach him how to use a skateboard, they show him the wonderful fashion accessory known as sunglasses, and he apparently even understands English! But, there's a problem. Eventually, people were going to start noticing that a seven-foot tall dinosaur was wandering the streets, and the kids had enough common sense to know that they could never tell anyone else about Denver's existence.



After all, if the wrong person ever discovered Denver, such as the greedy, nefarious concert promoter, Morton Fizzback, there was a good chance that Denver's life would be endangered. Fortunately, Wally's house was big enough that he could keep Denver there. But when Wally's sister, Heather, found out about Denver, Wally had her promise that she would keep Denver a secret from the world. Of course, with Heather now knowing the truth, the kids worried about Heather's friends stumbling upon the secret, so the decision was made to move Denver to a school gymnasium.

Denver also has a secret power that he can use through a piece of the egg that he hatched out of. With the eggshell, he has the ability to transport the kids back in time sixty-five million years to his own time period (as you likely have already seen by watching the intro of the cartoon series).

All in all, it was a rather interesting show, and one that I really liked watching a lot. I think it's only fitting that we end this blog entry off by watching an episode of Denver the Last Dinosaur. Just click on the link below, and you can watch how it all began.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NeBwKaCOgTM

Friday, November 09, 2012

Cold Case


Before we begin with this week’s case study in the world of television, I would first and foremost like to apologize for not being able to post the intended blog entry for Thursday night.  I had some major computer problems which forced me to uninstall and reinstall several programs last night, and the piece that I was working on ended up being an innocent casualty in the war against my computer.

I am back up and running again, and I will try my best to remember what I typed out the last time so that I can attempt once more to kick off the new weekly feature for Thursdays.  So stay tuned for November 15th, you hear?

Today’s topic is a show that happened to combine two of my all-time favourite things, which is why I was so miffed that the show was cancelled without much fanfare or warning despite a seven year run on CBS.

I think it should come as no surprise that I am a fan of pop culture.  But to be a little more specific, I am a huge fan of retro pop culture.  Sure, I do talk about a few current events here and there, however the majority of these entries are based on pop culture references that are twenty years or older.  I’ve always been fascinated by older songs, movies, television shows, and other miscellaneous tidbits involving the world of entertainment.  Part of the reason why I started up the Tuesday Timeline feature was because of my love of pop culture from the past.  Every time I do a Tuesday Timeline, I always have a blast because I learn a lot of things that I did not know.  And sometimes it’s cool to flash back to the 1950s, 1960s, or 1970s to experience another time period that I wasn’t around for.

And I’ve admitted this on the blog before but I have always loved a good mystery.  In particular, murder mysteries.  I love watching along, trying to find out who the murderer is.  Finding clues, watching the suspects being interrogated, searching for answers at crime scenes...yeah, I get a high watching them, reading about them.  In fact, I’d love to take part in one of those murder mystery dinners or theatre performances one of these days.  I think I might just add that to my bucket list!

Would you be shocked if I told you that today’s television spotlight deals with a show that successfully blends together murder mysteries and pop culture of the past?

It’s true! 

Have you ever heard of a term known as a “cold case”?  Well, a cold case is what happens when a murder investigation or a missing persons case remains unsolved because the trail to find the perpetrator or victim has no resolution.  Sometimes, cold cases can be reopened when a new clue is found, a new witness comes forward, or a family member contacts the police in the quest of finding closure for the death of their loved one.  And when cold cases are reopened, the detectives who investigate the case never know what they will find.


Just ask Detective Lilly Rush.

Who’s Lilly Rush?  She happens to be the main character of today’s show.


Today is the day that we’re going to be discussing the CBS drama “Cold Case”.  Debuting on September 28, 2003 and ending on May 2, 2010, the show starred Kathryn Morris as Lilly Rush, the only female detective on the homicide squad of the Philadelphia Police Department.  She was the detective who specialized in “cold cases”, attempting to solve old cases from Philadelphia’s police records.  The series was created by Meredith Stiehm, and was produced by Stiehm and Jerry Bruckheimer.

When the show first began, Lilly was partnered up with Detective Chris Lassing (Justin Chambers) for the first four episodes of the series, and after Chambers left the series, Lilly’s new partner was Detective Scotty Valens (Danny Pino) who stayed until the end of the series.


Other regular characters included John Finn as Lieutenant John Stillman, Thom Barry as Will Jeffries, Jeremy Ratchford as Nick Vera, and Tracie Thoms as Kat Miller.

For the most part, each episode of the show focused on one particular case that took place during a different time period.  The very first episode of “Cold Case” for example was set in the summer of 1976, where Lilly had to investigate the murder of a teenage girl.  In that episode, as Lilly interviewed the people who were linked to the murder victim twenty-seven years after the murder occurred, the viewer was taken back to 1976 through flashbacks of what really happened the day she died.  In a lot of cases, two sets of actors were brought in to play the same role...in this case we’d see the characters as they appeared in 1976, and how they appeared in 2003.

As a result of this, it wasn’t uncommon for “Cold Case” to have at least ten or more guest stars appearing in one episode.


The show also made great use of its musical soundtrack.  In fact, I think part of the reason why I was so fascinated by “Cold Case” was largely due to the fact that we would hear music from the era that the particular episode was set in.  If the cold case was set in...oh, say...1994, then we’d likely hear a lot of grunge music.  If the case was set in 1979, the episode would be filled with a selection of disco favourites.  If the episode featured a case from 1965, you might expect to hear a lot of songs from the “British Invasion”. 

TRIVIA:  There were even episodes of “Cold Case” filmed that featured several songs by the same artist.  Some of the artists and bands that ended up getting their own episode filled with their music included Bruce Springsteen, U2, Pearl Jam, Johnny Cash, Nirvana, The Doors, John Mellencamp, Bob Dylan, and Tim McGraw.  The show even featured soundtracks from films and musicals including “The Rocky Horror Picture Show” and “Cabaret”.

And whenever we were taken back to the flashback scenes, we really got a glimpse of just how hard the costume and prop people had to work in order to recreate various years.  Mind you, if the case was set in the 2000s (which some were), there was very little work that had to be done.  But when you consider that the show went as far back in time as 1919 to solve a cold case, you know that a lot of work went into designing the period costumes, transforming modern neighbourhoods into 1920s America, and making the flashbacks seem as realistic as possible.  Most of the time, the episodes got it right.

It was also quite interesting to see some of the real life issues that were hot-button issues in America at the time being explored in the various cases that “Cold Case” depicted.  When the topic of abortion became a huge concern in the late 1960s, the show did a case on that in which two people ended up getting murdered for helping women get them.  The subject of racism was touched upon a few times.  There were even some cases that were shown in parallel to real-life events, such as Martin Luther King’s “I Have A Dream” speech, the first time man walked on the moon, and the execution of Ethel and Julius Rosenberg.

And that’s not counting the fact that we were also shown the personal trials and tribulations of each of the detectives.  In the seven years that “Cold Case” was on the air, Lilly’s been shot, kidnapped, had to deal with an alcoholic mother (played by former Family Ties actress Meredith Baxter), and had to endure heartbreak several times.  Her partner Scotty, had to deal with the death of someone he loved because of schizophrenia.  Vera went through a bitter divorce, Jeffries lost his wife in a hit-and-run car accident and almost died in a robbery attempt, and Stillman ended up being a detective who assisted in cases that had gone cold the first time around, helping Lilly find answers years later.

All in all, it was a really interesting program that I wish was still on the air...especially since the final episode didn’t exactly wrap things up nice and tidy in a big red bow.  But I ranted enough about CBS last week with my “Joan of Arcadia” entry.

Instead, I thought I would end this note off by sharing with you some of my favourite “Cold Case” episodes.  There’s a list of ten in all.  Seriously, check them out as many of them air in syndication today.  Unfortunately, you cannot get the series on DVD (and most likely you won’t due to the copyright laws surrounding some record companies), but here’s hoping that one day, it’ll be released.

These are my Top 10 Cold Case episodes, in order that they aired...



CHURCHGOING PEOPLE (Season 1, Episode 4)
Original Airdate:  October 19, 2003
Date of Crime:  February 1990

This episode was really one of the first ones that featured a storyline that drew me in.  The patriarch of a family that was very active in their church is found dead in 1990, and thirteen years later, the family is completely torn apart.  The two children are damaged beyond repair and the widow is suffering from Alzheimer's Disease.  But when the woman begins to remember bits and pieces of the day her husband died, Lilly is determined to decipher her cryptic clues.  In the end, the murder is probably one of the more graphic and scary ones of the first season.



DISCO INFERNO (Season 1, Episode 15)
Original Airdate:  February 22, 2004
Date of Crime:  February 1978

Sometimes the plots for "Cold Case" take inspiration from real life events to tell a story.  In this case, "The Station" night club fire served as the inspiration behind this tragic tale in which several people lost their lives in a fire at a discotheque.  But when one of the victims, Benny Rosen, is found to have a bullet hole in his skull, it's enough for Lilly to determine who killed Benny and set the dance floor on fire...literally.



THE SLEEPOVER (Season 2, Episode 6)
Original Airdate:  November 7, 2004
Date of Crime:  November 1990

This case was disturbing because of two things.  One, the victim was a twelve year old girl.  Two, the main suspects were all twelve year old girls at the time.  Initially, it was believed that the killer was a mentally disturbed man...but when the team discovers that some of the activities at the slumber party that the girl attended before her death were also disturbing, the true nature of the crime is revealed.



MIND HUNTERS (Season 2, Episode 9)
Original Airdate:  November 28, 2004
Date of Crime:  November 1985

This is the beginning of a story arc for Lilly, as the conclusion of this story actually airs as the final episode of season two.  In this episode, the team try to search for the identity of a serial killer who murdered eight women over a 20 year period.  And John Billingsley, who played the main suspect of this crime, was so creepy in his role.  I ended up getting goose bumps!



TIME TO CRIME (Season 2, Episode 13)
Original Airdate:  January 30, 2005
Date of Crime:  August 1987

The victim is one of the youngest to be killed on the show...a six year old girl is shot in a crowded inner city playground.  When the gun that was used in the shooting is turned into a gun exchange program, we're sent back in time over an eighteen year period to try and trace the gun's path, to find out who owned the gun at the time the girl was shot.



THE PROMISE (Season 3, Episode 2)
Original Airdate:  October 2, 2005
Date of Crime:  October 2004

This one made me cry.  I'm man enough to admit it.  Never mind the fact that the focus of this episode is bullying.  Never mind the fact that the victim of this crime was one of the sweetest girls to pass away on this show.  In the end, despite everything that happened, you'll witness a display of true friendship right until the end when the fire from the burning fraternity house claims the life of someone dear.



A PERFECT DAY (Season 3, Episode 9)
Original Airdate:  November 27, 2005
Date of Crime:  August 1965

This episode pulled in 19 million viewers, the highest rated episode of Cold Case ever.  It tells the story of a four year old girl whose remains washed up on the beach, and when Lilly investigates, she finds the twin sister who survived, as well as a case of child and spousal abuse, and one mother's desperate attempt to flee.



FIREFLIES (Season 4, Episode 8)
Original Airdate:  November 12, 2006
Date of Crime:  October 1975

This case was one that dealt with the discovery of a letter that was written by a child who went missing in 1975.  Everyone had given up on finding her...except the childhood friend who she used to send secret messages to during their childhood.



THE GOOD-BYE ROOM (Season 4, Episode 16)
Original Airdate:  March 4, 2007
Date of Crime:  May 1964

Teen pregnancy was a big no-no in 1964.  So big that whenever a teenage girl got pregnant, they were sent away to give birth and then forced to give the baby up for adoption.  When one of the mothers ended up dead, Lilly is sent to investigate.  What she discovers is a truly tragic story in which one mother sacrificed EVERYTHING for her child.



JUSTICE (Season 5, Episode 10)
Original Airdate:  November 25, 2007
Date of Crime:  May 1982

Did I mention that not all the victims in Cold Case were sympathetic or nice characters?  After you hear the story of this creep, you might actually cheer along with the people who tried to kill him (as well as celebrate the one who did).

Thursday, November 08, 2012

Technical Difficulties Really Suck!!!




Okay, so I know that I promised that I would have a new theme set up for this week's Thursday entry, but my computer has been acting possessed, and the planned entry that I did have ended up getting ERASED!

I HATE WHEN THAT HAPPENS!


In fact, I'm so peeved about this that instead of re-typing it all out again, I would just repost another piece I worked on that made me just as worked up.  I wrote it almost two years ago, and it was a piece entitled "Superficiality is Ugly".  If anything, re-reading my response, I chuckle over how much I blew up.  I've changed a lot in a year, apparently.  You'll get a kick out of it anyway.  But fair warning...






WARNING: This note is rated “T” for teen content, for strong (censored) language and general anger from the writer in question. It takes a lot to get me angry, and when I do blow...ye best duck and cover like scared schoolchildren from the 1950's.

Advice columns have been around for decades. Ever since Ann Landers and Dear Abby were schoolchildren, people can count on picking up a newspaper or their favourite magazine for advice from a variety of people on a ton of subjects. Medical advice. Dating help. Recipes. Interior decorating. Some of the questions that people ask can range from perfectly normal to “what the hell were they thinking”. On the flipside, some of the advice that some of the people give to the advice seekers can range from “incredibly boneheaded” to “absolute brilliance”. Suffice to say, the columns and the columnists who write them aren't going anywhere soon.

Have you ever heard of a columnist named Amy Dickinson? She has a column in a newspaper here in the area that's based in Ottawa. Normally, I tend to skim over the letters and question how some people can get so personal in an advice column (and yes, this is coming from someone who admittedly has over five hundred thought-provoking entries right here in this blog), but the one in the April 14, 2011 paper really struck a nerve with me. It wasn't so much her answer...it was the attitude of the person who sent in the question for her to answer.

And, it made me see red.

Here's the question in full. I bolded it just for you. :D

Dear Amy:
In our 20-year marriage, my husband has gained more than 50 pounds. I have gained about 10 and am constantly exercising and working to keep my weight down.
He has an unsightly gut that hangs over his pants. His clothes are often ill-fitting and sloppy looking due to the difficulty of finding a good fit. I find this embarrassing.
I have begged, pleaded, argued, threatened, reasoned, tried “Weight Watchers” for both of us and expressed concern about his health. Nothing works.
He makes a half-hearted attempt for a week or two and then quits. We have no sex life, as I am repulsed by his fat gut.
Otherwise, he is a loving, devoted, loyal guy with a heart of gold.
I love him, but the truth is I would not have even gone on a first date with him the way he looks now. This feels like a classic bait and switch (women are often accused of this behaviour).
I have all but given up as I watch him wolf down portions enough for three. I guess he doesn't care if we never have a romantic life again.
Should I just give up and live with him as a lifelong friend?
I am not interested in anyone else but, truly, his physical condition has completely turned me off.
I am really furious with him because I feel cheated out of a full marriage. I can't help thinking that if he really loved me, he would try harder.
-Given Up

Can you say...superficial much?

For the record, here was Amy's answer...this time in italics.

Dear Given:
If your husband loved himself a little more, he would try harder. Compulsive eating can provide a relief from the pressure of relationships, work, sex, and the expectations and disappointment of the people around you.
Not only are you pressuring him, but your hostility is so evident that I find myself pining for a pint of Haagen-Dazs just from reading your letter.
Instead of dragging your husband to “Weight Watchers”, you should examine your own issues and behaviour.
Addictive eating is different from other addictions because you can't swear off the stuff (food) forever. You must face your “drug of choice” every single day.
You and your husband don't need diet tips. You need marriage counseling.
You will go into counseling demanding that your husband needs to change to make you happy, prove he loves you or to save your marriage.
But as spouses and loved ones of addicts learn, he will only commit to the hard work of change in order to save himself.

Now...she was a LOT nicer to her about it than I would be. People like her make me see red. I have never been a huge fan of people who were up themselves to begin with, but superficiality is a great way to turn me off of you forever. I never could stand people who demanded that other people change in order to suit THEIR needs, and meet THEIR demands.

When I read that letter, it kind of made me wonder what I would say to this woman if I had stepped inside Amy's shoes (and hopefully she doesn't wear six-inch stillettos, because those things are wrong no matter what sex you are).
It wasn't pretty. In fact, I reckon I'd probably have uttered one too many swears in it, and get promptly fired for my stance on her issue. But, I don't care. It really pissed me off.

So, for all of you...below...in bold AND italics...here's what I would have said to this lovely lady in all of its uncensored glory (hence the “T” rating). In a way, it also showcases my own feelings on the subject of superficiality.

Here goes...

Dear Given Up:
What the <CENSORED F-BOMB> is wrong with you?!?
I mean, seriously, who the hell are you to go on and on about how unhappy and miserable you are because your husband has gained an extra fifty pounds over the course of your two decade long marriage? News flash...unless you have an insanely twisted obsession with botox injections, there isn't ANY couple who have been married for that long and looks exactly the same as they did on their wedding day. My sister and her husband will have been married for twenty-three years this September, and neither one of them look the same as they did back in 1989, and you know what? They still love each other enough to make it work. I'm so sorry for your husband that you can't seem to do that for him.
You're embarrassed to be seen with your husband because his gut is a bit bigger and his pants don't quite fit him like they used to? I'm sure he's just as embarrassed to have a shrieking harpy shrew of a woman berating him and making him feel like crap because of something so superficial as weight gain. In fact, I'd bet my last two dollar coin (otherwise known as a toonie here in Canada) on it.
I'll tell you one thing. Belittling him, forcing him to do things...doesn't work. I'm sure if you were more supportive of him instead of being disgusted by him, you'd find that he might have the self-confidence and the motivation for him to make the changes himself. You cannot force him to do so, because it gives me the impression that you are a controlling person who really cannot stand imperfection. Here's some advice for you. You want imperfection? Look in the damn mirror, lady, because I certainly would not want to hang around with someone who only seems to look at the surface of a person instead of what's deep inside.
Oh, sure, you've said that he does have a heart of gold and is loyal and devoting, but it shocks me that you only see those as secondary qualities, of lesser importance than six-pack abs and a 32-inch waist. Do you have any idea how many women would DIE for a husband like that, you ignorant twit? Regardless of looks? There are men who have the body you want, who lie, cheat and abuse their wives on a day-to-day basis...well...kind of like what YOU'RE doing to your husband right now. I'm sure that there are a lot of women that would be honoured to trade places with you at this moment. I secretly hope that one does.
It would be something different if you were genuinely concerned about his health issues, and if you were worried about him having a heart attack at 50, or high blood pressure. If this was all that you had touched upon, I'd go a little easier on you, but noooooooo. You had to really flick the switch into bitch mode by complaining about your lack of sex life because you find him repulsive. Guess what? I bet he finds your attitude and personality just as repulsive, sweetheart. And, if he doesn't, he SHOULD.
It's women like you that make me see red. You are so hung up on what a guy looks like and how cute he is that you refuse to see just what other great qualities he has because you're too blinded by soap opera star looks which eventually fade over time. You my dear, are no exception.
If I were your husband, and I read your letter, I would have called up my divorce attorney, kicked you out of the house and eaten an entire tub of Cool Whip right in front of you (and I'm talking the Cool Whip with the ocean blue lid...no 98% fat free stuff). I'd then hit the gym and get skinny again on purpose just to spite you. But, hey, at least this way, you would have some vindication that you ended up giving motivation after all.
I wouldn't want him to see you as a lifelong friend at all. You haven't been friendly to him for quite some time. You have been a stuck-up, snobbish, selfish, superficial excuse for a human being. Thanks to you writing in, everyone knows it...including the man you promised to love in your wedding vows through sickness and health.
You have absolutely no idea what food addictions can do to a person. I can speak about this because I had a really bad addiction to food during my high school years brought on by kids who used to bully me for my weight. You do realize that the more you push your husband, the more he eats, right?
If say, oh, I dunno...you actually decided to, oh, I dunno...SUPPORT HIM...you might get results? But, no...you're too stuck on yourself to think about that, now...ARE YOU?
You may think that he's no prize to you...but neither are you.
Seriously, just go away.
Seriously.

What can I say? When you accidentally lose the intended blog entry you WANTED to post, you need to let off some steam. Luckily, I had an old piece from the past that seemed to fit my mood just fine. I hope you were at least entertained by it, and I promise that I will make it up to you next week!

Wednesday, November 07, 2012

Fictional Jeopardy - A Jeopardy Spoof

Before I continue with this blog post, I have some breaking news.  Barack Obama has been re-elected President of the United States.  Congratulations to him on a hard-fought win.  But I also want to express kudos to challenger Mitt Romney as well, for giving it his best shot.  No matter what your political stance, both men should be congratulated.  After all, I know I would not have the guts to run for leadership of a whole country, so they already have more courage than I!

We now continue with today’s online blog edition of “Jeopardy!” already in progress.


HOST:  Welcome back to another exciting game of Jeopardy where we are already halfway through our game.  Our scores so far are...

Wendy - $4,200

Aimee - $2,800

Sean - -$400

All right, Sean...you’re in the negatives, so you had better get some money soon or else you will be ineligible to play Final Jeopardy.  The dollar value for each clue ranges in total from $400 to $2,000 in the following six categories...


ANCIENT EGYPTIAN RUGS

BY THE NUMBERS

A BRIEF HISTORY OF “MY MOTHER THE CAR”

A HISTORY OF GAME SHOWS

FORMER GAME SHOW COMPETITORS

And finally...”S” WORDS AND PHRASES

Sean, we’ll begin with you.

SEAN:  I’ll take Swords and Phrases for $400, please.

HOST:  No, no...that’s “S” words...not swords.  But no matter...here’s the clue.

This television show, which debuted in 1975, was created by Lorne Michaels and its original line-up included Jane Curtin, Dan Aykroyd, and Chevy Chase.

HOST:  Yes, Aimee?

AIMEE:  What is Saturday Night Live?

HOST:  Correct.  Keep in mind how this game is played.  I tell you the answer, and you have to tell me what the question is.  The game has remained unchanged since it debuted on NBC on March 30, 1964.  Aimee, you may choose a category now.

AIMEE:  I will choose “A History of Game Shows” for $400, please.

This creator of “Wheel of Fortune” and most recently, “Crosswords” also created”Jeopardy!”

HOST:  Aimee, again.

AIMEE:  Who is Merv Griffin?


HOST:  You got it.  Did you know that Merv Griffin actually created the show back in 1964 based on the advice of his wife who suggested that instead of a question/answer format, he should try an answer/question format instead?  He ended up selling the idea to NBC without even creating a pilot!  Aimee, go again!

AIMEE:  I’ll take “By The Numbers” for $800.

The number of people who have hosted Jeopardy!

HOST:  Wendy?


WENDY:  What is two?


HOST:  Two is correct.  The original host was Art Fleming, who hosted the show between 1964 and 1975, and again from 1978 to 1979.  Alex Trebek began hosting the program in September 1984 and continues to host it twenty-eight years later.  Wendy, you now have control of the board.

WENDY:  I’ll take “By The Numbers” for $1,200, please.

The number of “Daily Doubles” in a typical 30-minute episode of Jeopardy!

HOST:  Sean?

SEAN:  What is two?

HOST:  I’m sorry, that is incorrect.  Wendy?

WENDY:  What is three?

HOST:  Correct.  In each game of Jeopardy, there are three Daily Doubles.  In round one, there is only one to find.  In the second round, known as Double Jeopardy, there are two.  If you land on one, you will be able to wager as little as $5 up to all the winnings that you have accumulated...

(Host looks over at Sean’s dismal score)

HOST: ...although if you happen to be in the negative numbers like Sean is, you can still play a Daily Double round by wagering up to one thousand dollars on the question (two thousand for Double Jeopardy).  Wendy, you can pick again.

WENDY:  I’ll stick with “By The Numbers” for $1,600.

The consolation prize for the last place contestant in Jeopardy as of May 16, 2002.

HOST:  Sean?

SEAN:  Yeah...okay...um...I know...I know this...what...um...what is...?

HOST:  Oh, I’m sorry...time is up.  You do know that you only get five seconds to respond, right?  Yes, Wendy?

WENDY:  What is one thousand dollars?

HOST:  Correct.  The second place finisher gets $2,000.  Wendy, would you like to finish off the category?

WENDY:  Let’s do “By The Numbers” for $2,000!

The number of consecutive games that Ken Jennings ended up winning during his first run on the quiz show.

HOST:  Aimee?

AIMEE:  What is seventy-four?


HOST:  Correct!  Ken Jennings ended up winning a grand total of seventy-four games, accumulating a grand total of well over $2.5 million.  He ended up losing on his seventy-fifth appearance in 2004!  That’s impressive, don’t you think?  Anyway, Aimee, you need to choose a different category.

AIMEE:  How about former game show competitors for $1,200?

HOST:  Okay, here it is.

In February 2011, the “IBM Challenge” aired on Jeopardy, in which Watson beat out Ken Jennings and this other opponent?

HOST:  Sean?

SEAN:  Oh, geez...I know this...Um...oh...who is...Rutter...


HOST:  YES!  That’s the answer.  Brad Rutter, who ended up winning two million dollars when he won the “Ultimate Tournament of Champions” in 2005.  Sean, you now have control of the board!

SEAN:  Okay...um...how about...that S category for $2,000?

HOST:  You mean swords...ah, I mean...S Words and Phrases?

SEAN:  Yeah.


HOST:  Okay, Sean...you have just hit a Daily Double.  Unfortunately, you have minus two thousand dollars, but since this is the second round, you can wager up to two thousand dollars.


SEAN:  Well, I will go with two thousand dollars, naturally!

HOST:  Naturally.  Okay, here’s your Daily Double clue.

He played James Bond in such films as “Diamonds Are Forever”, and “Never Say Never Again”

SEAN:  Dude!  I was named after him.  It’s Sean Connery!

HOST:  In the form of a QUESTION...I won’t remind you again.

SEAN:  WHO is Sean Connery?

HOST:  You’re back at zero...and do try to remember to give your answer in the form of a question.  Select again.

SEAN:  Can I have “A History of Game Shows” for $2,000?

HOST:  Yes.

In 2001, Cheryl Farrell, Sofia Lidskog, Jimmy McGuire, and Sarah Whitcomb formed this group of people who have helped present clues just like this one to contestants.

HOST:  Yes, Wendy?

WENDY:  What is the “Clue Crew”?


HOST:  Correct.  The Clue Crew has also had Jon Cannon and Kelly Miyahara as members, and we have less than one minute to go.  Select another clue.

WENDY:  How about “S Words and Phrases” for $800?

HOST:  Okay.

In 1965, Diana Ross and the Supremes released this hit.


HOST:  Sean?

SEAN:  What is “Stop! In The Name Of Love?”

HOST:  You’re back on the board!

HOST:  And, that does it for Double Jeopardy.  Let’s take a look at the scores going into Final Jeopardy.

Wendy - $10,000

Aimee - $5,600

Sean - $800

HOST:  Okay, the Final Jeopardy category is...COMIC BOOK CHARACTERS.  Make your final wagers now.  Are we ready?  Here’s your final Jeopardy answer.

In the 1940s, this hamburger-eating, girl-hating, crown wearing character first made his presence known in Riverdale, alongside Archibald Andrews and Betty Cooper.

HOST:  Contestants, you now have thirty seconds.  Good luck.


HOST:  Sean, we’ll begin with you, since you’re in third place.  You came up with...

WHAT IS A JUGHEAD?


HOST:  Judges?  Can we accept this answer?  Yes, I’m being told we can.  The answer of course is Jughead Jones, whose own title was released under the Archie comics library in 1949.  Your wager is...$800, so you double your score to $1,600.

HOST:  Aimee, you’re next, and you went with...

WHO IS REGGIE MANTLE?

HOST:  No, I’m sorry...Reggie Mantle is a character in Archie comics, but not the one we’re looking for.  You went with...$5,599, leaving you with one dollar.  Not enough to take the lead, I’m afraid.  We now move to Wendy who has stayed in first place, but she’s shaking her head...why?

WHO IS WIMPY FROM POPEYE?

HOST:  No, Wimpy, nor Popeye ever appeared in Archie comics.  If you wagered more than $8,400, then Sean will be our winner, and you wagered...

...everything.

That means with $1,600, Sean is our new Jeopardy champion and will come back again next week!  That’s our game (and our blog entry on Jeopardy).  Good night!
FINAL SCORES:
Wendy - $0
Aimee - $1
Sean - $1,600