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Thursday, August 08, 2013

Life in Plastic Ain't Fantastic

Before I continue on with the Thursday Diary for this week, I thought that I would post a music video for all of you that is linked to today's subject.



Now, granted, I know that some of you are already annoyed by the song. I'll be the first to admit that “Barbie Girl” isn't my favourite song by Aqua.

(I'm more of a “Turn Back Time” kind of guy.)

However, the reason why I have posted this song is because of a song lyric that I purposely want to contradict. That sometimes life in plastic...ain't always fantastic. Now, I warn you ahead of time that a lot of the points that I will be making in this particular blog comes from a note that I wrote three years ago...but sometimes there comes a time

August 8, 2013

I can't believe it's the eighth of August already. It's a day that I like to refer to as “Crazy Eights” day, as if you write the date out numerically, it reads as 8/8. Get it? Crazy eights?

(Ahem...if you're stretching and you know it clap your hands! Clap Clap!)

Anyway, I suppose that since the theme of the day is “Crazy”, I thought that I would talk about a subject that drives me absolutely bonkers. It's something that I see many people doing – some of which who are absolutely beaming with pride over it. Yet as far as I am concerned, I think that it is totally unnecessary. And although I'll likely start up a debate with my honest opinion on this very subject, I still stand by my opinion.



That subject is on plastic and cosmetic surgery.

I mean, is it just me, or does it seem to me that more and more people out there in the world are becoming obsessed with cosmetic surgery? Everywhere we look we're bombarded by images of people getting nipped and tucked with the promise that if we want to we can look like we're twenty-eight again at any age!

And, I gotta tell you. I'm not all that impressed.

At 32, I have come to one conclusion about myself. I'm not the perfect specimen on what a man should look like. I have flab. My hair is thinning on top. And as for the rest of my body, I have so much hair that I could maybe give Robin Williams a run for his money!

(Well, okay...maybe it's not QUITE that bad.)

The truth is that for guys and gals all over the planet, many of us strive for that one little thing called perfection. We're all brainwashed into believing that perfection is the only way of living our lives. We have to have the perfect body. We have to have the perfect tan. We have to have the perfect smile. Perfect, perfect, perfect.

How perfectly ridiculous.

Here's a news flash. Perfection is impossible to achieve. It doesn't matter how good your genes are, or how much money you have to burn. Nobody is ever perfect. Everyone has that one little flaw about themselves whether they'll publicly admit to it or not.

Unfortunately, some people will not listen to reason. You could walk down Wilshire Boulevard in Los Angeles and scream that message out with a gigantic megaphone, and still people will tune you out. I mean, look at a place like Hollywood, California – a place that celebrates public bronzing and rewards the ability to squeeze into a size zero dress with prime roles in summer blockbusters. Many people strive to become a part of that inner circle of actors, directors and producers, and as far as I'm concerned, it's not something that I would want for myself at all.



My opinion is that it's a place where if you know the right plastic surgeon, then anybody can achieve their dream of being a living Barbie doll driving around in a pink, plastic convertible to their Malibu beach house where their equally plastic Ken is waiting for you with plastic underpants and a painted-on smile.

Yeah, that's not what I want out of life either. Besides, plastic underpants sound uncomfortable. I'll stick to cotton, thanks.

I guess what I struggle to come to terms with is why so many people would feel the need to alter their appearances with cosmetic surgery when in all honesty, there is absolutely nothing wrong with them at all. I just don't get it.

Before I go on with my arguments though, I just want to state that depending on the circumstances, I can see where cosmetic surgery can be a good thing. If a person gets a tattoo that they absolutely regret and they want to undergo a laser procedure to remove it, I say go for it. The same deal goes for reconstructive surgery after a severe car accident or a brutal round of cancer treatments, or if a person suffers severe burns.



And you know what? Even if people have a healthy attitude about going under the knife, and are absolutely honest about the work that they have had done (I'm specifically looking at Cher and Dolly Parton when I say this), then I'm going to respect them for it, because I believe that they had the procedures done because they wanted them for themselves. They didn't do it to impress other people or to get a film role.  Heck, the late Jeanne Cooper actually had a facelift done on the set of "The Young and the Restless", as a way of educating people on what plastic surgery is really like.

That said, I do wish that more people would accept the idea of aging gracefully. This might just be my crazy opinion, but I think that aging is one of the most beautiful things about life. All of those wrinkles, age spots, surgical scars from medical emergencies, and fine lines tell the story of a life that was well-lived. Every face tells a story, and sometimes the most interesting tales come from those who have the most laugh lines on their faces. But again, that's just from my perspective.

Again, I'm not completely against plastic surgery if it is done for the right reasons (some of which I have mentioned above). But what I do take issue to is the number of young women who are already naturally beautiful feeling as though that natural beauty simply isn't enough, and they feel that the only way to feel beautiful is to go under the knife and undergo a bunch of procedures that make them feel beautiful, when in reality they look no different from a Barbie doll or a Stepford wife.

Case in point...Heidi Montag. Now, many of you are wondering who Heidi Montag is. Apparently she starred on some reality show called “The Hills” with her husband Spencer Pratt, and some other wannabe reality show celebs who have seemingly disappeared since the show was axed a few years ago.

But anyway...when I look back at photos of Heidi Montag from, say, 2007, 2008...she was an absolutely gorgeous stunner. She had natural beauty, and her smile could light up a room. Therefore the very fact that she would have close to a dozen cosmetic surgeries in ONE DAY in an effort to enhance that beauty makes me want to bash my head against a wall.

Never mind the fact that Heidi Montag didn't need the surgery to begin with. At the time that she had the work done, she was TWENTY-THREE! I mean, seriously? I don't know about most of you out there, but when I was 23, I certainly didn't think about cosmetic surgery to improve my looks. The thought never even crossed my mind. When you're 23, you eat a sensible diet, you work out at a gym, you may even buy a brand new outfit...but to have plastic surgery? I mean, what was she thinking?



And here's the tragic irony of it all. When the scars healed and the swelling went down, I'm sorry to say it but all the work Heidi Montag went through to beautify herself was for naught. Sure, aesthetically, it looked good – in a completely manufactured plastic way. The natural beauty that once defined Heidi Montag was erased forever. A real shame.



And don't even get me started on the 2005 reality television series known as “The Swan”. The television show aired on FOX for, I believe two seasons – which according to me is two seasons too many, and the premise of the show was simple. You'd have a bunch of women competing against each other in a beauty pageant after they've had a makeover done, and the winner would be known as “The Swan”.

Now, if this show only focused on hair, wardrobe, and juggling flaming torches as they do on the Miss America pageant, it wouldn't have been such a big deal. But when you consider that “The Swan” basically took random women, performed EVERY POSSIBLE COSMETIC SURGERY IN THE WORLD on them, and then forced them to compete against each other in the pageant, that raises a red flag.

In fact, I'll state for the record...it was the most disgusting and cruel reality show ever produced and shame on FOX for greenlighting it.



Would you like an example to showcase what I mean? Well, here's a clip of the eventual season one winner, Rachel Love-Frasier. At the time the show was filmed, she was 27 years old. By clicking HERE, you can watch the transformation – if you can stomach it.

Now, granted, Rachel did seem very happy with the end result, and I'm certainly not going to take that emotion away from her. It was a life-changing event, and she seemed to really embrace her new look. The issue I have is...was it really necessary for her to undergo all that surgery when all she really may have needed was self-esteem?

I honestly thought that she looked beautiful before. If anything, the only problem that she had was that she had a father who didn't believe in her and a husband who was a complete pig. I imagine that had she cut both of them out of her life, she could have realized that she didn't need to have all that work done to impress them. I think a better way the show could have handled it was by giving her a “What Not To Wear” style makeover, letting the husband and father see her all dolled up, and then Rachel gaining the self-confidence needed to tell them to go suck an egg as she left them in the dust to pursue her brand new wonderful life.

That's something that I would have loved to see.



Here's the truth. People have cellulite. I don't care to read all about which stars have it at the supermarket counter, nor do I want to see an expose on Entertainment Tonight about it. It's insulting and embarrassing the way that these forms of media treat cellulite as if it is some contagious disease. Supermodels have it. The hosts of Entertainment Tonight have it. Hell, I'll bet you that I have it!!! It's cellulite, not leprosy! Sheesh!

And it's not just women who get the scrutiny about looks. As a man, I get bombarded by it too. If I don't have 6-pack abs and have the body to look good in a pair of Calvin Klein tighty-whities, then I best just throw myself off a cliff.

I think that society as a whole puts way too much pressure on people to look a certain way. Society's complete focus on outer beauty is so great that it makes others put less emphasis on inner beauty, if any is put on at all. And, that's a real shame. I'd rather live in a world filled with people who don't fit the mould and have healthy attitudes rather than a world of perfect looking people who act like complete jerks because of their ever growing insecurities.

I do not fit the role of being a tall, rugged, masculine looking, manly man. Well, okay, I AM tall, but that hardly constitutes being a perfect specimen. The difference is that I've accepted my imperfections as something that makes me unique. I have a snaggletooth and an overbite. I wear glasses. I have a bit of a soft gut. These are things that make me who I am. I suppose I could get veneers, laser eye surgery, and do about eighty thousand crunches to make my abs as hard as a rock...but I don't feel the need to do that. As long as my insides work perfectly fine and I'm in fairly good health, then that's all that matters. Besides, at the very least, I use Old Spice products, so I can be the man your man can smell like. I guess in a way, I really respect people who can look at themselves and tell themselves that they are great people both inside and out...people who are proud of their wrinkles and imperfections. People who don't give a damn what other people say except for those who truly matter to them.



And, really, that's what I find beautiful. People who can look at themselves in the mirror and like what they see no matter what size or shape they are. True beauty comes from within. I'm hoping that in this world there are more people who can see that anybody at any size or any age can have a truly beautiful life if they look within themselves.


Wouldn't that be beautiful?

Wednesday, August 07, 2013

Betty Boop - Red Hot Mamma

Today's blog topic is a request that I have gotten from someone whom I work with. And she suggested a topic for me that I thought was interesting enough to do a blog entry with.

However, at the last possible moment, I thought about it and realized that I could do a better blog topic with an idea that my requester didn't submit but would probably enjoy a lot more than the initial idea that she gave me.

I know. You're probably confused about what I just said right? Bear with me here. I'm going to explain everything.

Okay, so part of the charm of the All-Request Wednesday is hearing ideas from all sorts of people. The vast majority of the requests have been online requests, however I will take requests in person. After all, I definitely want everyone to have a turn choosing what they want to see in this blog.

That's the story behind the request that Jennette W. of Ontario, Canada initially gave me. You see, Jenn and I work together at the same store, and she and her husband are regular readers of this blog. So when I told her that she should come up with a topic idea for me to write about, she gave me one about plastic surgery.

And, well, I thought about it, and thought, and thought some more, and I think that while her initial idea of doing a blog on plastic surgery is a potentially decent one to talk about...I think that it would be more appropriate as a Thursday Diary entry, as I have my own opinions about cosmetic surgery...and I'm warning you ahead of time, they might be not very positive opinions at that for the most part.

Still though, I wanted to do something special for Jenn. After all, she is one of the main reasons why I have kept this blog going as long as I have been. It's because of readers like her and all of you out there that gives me the motivation to keep blogging and writing. The fact that people are logging in and reading all of my random thoughts makes me very happy and fulfilled.

That's when I was reminded of a conversation that I had with Jenn a few months ago while we were working a closing shift together.

You see, a few months ago, I was still working in the dairy/frozen section of the store, and Jenn worked the pantry area. So suffice to say, we got to see each other a lot whenever we worked night shifts (as she often got a lot of them, while I would work at least two a week). I seem to recall that one day we were zoning the seasonal candy section (I think that it must have been like four weeks before Christmas or something like that), and I happened to come across a display of a certain kind of chocolate with a cartoon character on them. Or perhaps it was a clothing display with decals of a cartoon character on them. Whatever the case, we both stumbled upon merchandise with a cartoon character on them, and Jenn's eyes bugged out in delight.

For as long as she could remember, she had always been fascinated with this cartoon character. She has tons of memorabilia that have this saucy vixen plastered all over, and she loved the cartoons, and she just thought this cartoon character was the best thing since sliced bread.

It's just too bad that this cartoon character was also considered one of the most scandalous cartoons that ever aired during the era of the Great Depression. I mean, granted, watching the cartoons some eighty years later, the cartoons aren't nearly as bad as they were back then. But for this scantily clad female who danced and sang in some of the most inopportune times, she took on the scandal in spades, and grew to be one of the most beloved animated sex symbols to grace the world of cartoons.

So, for today's blog entry, we're going to be talking about the one cartoon character that my friend Jenn absolutely loves more than anything, as well as the history and controversy behind her character.



Today's subject? 1930's animated bombshell Betty Boop!

Now, I bet you're wondering how old Betty Boop is. After all, she hasn't really changed her appearance since her flapper days, and she still looks as cute as a button as she did in her first cartoon.

Well, either Betty Boop has found the right diet to keep her skin young and wrinkle-free or she's had some work done herself because she is turning eighty-three years old in just a couple of days!



Her first appearance took place on August 9, 1930 when she appeared in her first cartoon, “Dizzy Dishes”. She was created by animator Max Fleischer with assistance from a team of other animators – most notably Grim Natwick.

Now there's some misconceptions and urban legends surrounding who Betty Boop was modeled after. The general belief was that she was modeled after 1930s starlet Clara Bow, but in actuality, the inspiration for Betty Boop came from this woman below.



Recognize her? It's okay if you don't. I didn't know who she was either. She's singer Helen Kane, the real “Betty Boop”, so to speak.

And here's something that you probably might be surprised to hear. Betty Boop didn't exactly start out as a human character. She was originally drawn as a French poodle! Now that would have been something to see.

It wasn't until a couple of years after Fleischer designed the concept of Betty Boop that he began to add more human-like qualities to Betty Boop.

And, boy did she become human!

Betty Boop quickly became one of cartoon's first sex symbols. She predated Jessica Rabbit, Katy Keene, and even Betty and Veronica! With her short black dresses (or red in the colour cartoons) that left nearly nothing to the imagination, garters and high heels, and her cute baby face, Betty Boop certainly made male heads turn - in both the animated and non-animated form!

And, let's be real honest here. Like Britney Spears in her “Oops, I Did It Again” video, Betty Boop just wasn't that innocent. How else can you explain the fact that one holiday cartoon had her crawling into bed with Santa Claus, while breaking the fourth wall and giving her signature wink to the audience?

I suppose that Betty Boop was a...good girl? Or, maybe she was naughty? You know what, I'm over analyzing this. Forget it.

Truth be told, Betty Boop's sexuality was presented in such a way that kids kind of missed out on the messages, but for adults it was presented loud and clear. And, I think that in order to really illustrate my point, we're going to take a look at a classic Betty Boop cartoon released all the way back in 1934.



So for our feature presentation, we have Betty Boop in “Red Hot Mamma”. So grab yourself a nice bowl of popcorn (or a candy bar, given that the cartoon is just under seven minutes in length), and enjoy the show. We'll have a lot to talk about when it is all over and done with.



Okay, so the first thing you need to know is that it appears to be the middle of winter. Well, either that, or Betty Boop has decided to have a vacation in the Yukon. Either way, Betty proves that she's not exactly the brightest neon light on the side of a Las Vegas casino as she has every single window open in the house on what appears to be the biggest blizzard since Snowpocalypse 2011. So she does what most normal people would do on a cold day. She closes all the windows, and starts a nice fire – which in process of doing that accidentally rotisseries her beloved chickens. Ah well, at least she doesn't have to worry about what to eat for lunch.

So, Betty turns up the heat, and things get more comfortable. But then the temperature gets way too hot. The thermometer sweats, the candles melt, and the igloo in the painting melts into a giant puddle.



Oh, and the GATES TO HELL OPEN UP INSIDE BETTY'S LIVING ROOM!!!

Naturally, Betty decides that she wants to visit this new place, and so she takes a stroll down the burning lane, giving a lone flame a spanking for following her too closely.

(Yeah, I'm pretty sure that most people would get second degree burns for touching a flame, but again, in the world of animation everything is possible, so I try to just accept it as reality even though it is a scientific impossibility.)

Anyway, where was I again? Oh yes, Betty Boop in hell.

Now, you'd think that most people would be very upset about having to spend their entire afterlives in a place where the temperature is hotter than the Equator and where fire burns everything into cinders, and where we learn that the devils are manufactured like toys on an assembly line. Not Betty. In fact, she decides to host her very own musical complete with boo-boo-be-doops, and seductive dance poses.



And, then things get really bizarre when Betty Boop's dance moves prove to be too much for the devils who reside in the place that has “Hell's Bells”. They all decide to team up to take care of the seductress once and for all, only to be given the cold shoulder.

Literally, Betty's shoulder materializes a single ice cube that has the power to freeze the devils in their tracks, encasing them in a prison of ice.

Apparently Betty Boop is a distant relative of Batman's Mr. Freeze. Who knew?

Meanwhile, the head devil in charge of Hell is certainly intrigued and a little bit scared at the same time. How can a sultry vixen be so cold? And, how can he get her number now that his competition has been put on ice?

(Okay, I promise I'll cut it out with the cold jokes...actually, no I can't.)

Turns out that Betty Boop is getting a little bit tired of Hell and its children, and she is more than ready to leave. So when the leader of the pack comes around to turn up the heat, she stares him down with a stare so cold he stops dead in his tracks.

In fact, Betty's stare is so cold that she ends up freezing Hell completely over! But, then reality sets in and she wakes up with her home even colder than before. It seems that the ever intelligent Betty Boop left the front door completely wide open. So, nevermind the fact that her home is basically an invitation for all criminals to come in, she now has her entire home filled with snow! What's a girl to do?

Well...um...apparently go to bed with every possible blanket that she purchased from Sears.

But you know something? I think that was part of the charm of Betty Boop. She played innocent even when she wasn't quite representing herself that way. And, you know, there was just something hypnotizing about her. She really could catch anyone's attention.

Even if she did sound like Cyndi Lauper when she sang.

In conclusion of this article, I have one final trivia question for you. Do you know how many voice artists Betty Boop has had over the years?

Well, the answer is fifteen! They were/are, in no particular order, Margie Hines, Ann Rothschild, Mae Questel, Kate Wright, Bonnie Poe, Victoria d'Orazi, Bernadette Peters, Desiree Goyette, Melissa Fahn, Sue Raney, Cheryl Chase, Tress MacNeille, Tara Strong, Sandy Fox, and Cindy Robinson!



That's a lot of Betty Boops! Boo-boo-be-doop!


Tuesday, August 06, 2013

August 6, 2009

Welcome to the first Tuesday Timeline for the month of August 2013. And, let me tell you that for whatever reason, I'm really optimistic as we enter the second month of summer fun. For whatever reason, no matter what happens, I get the impression that the eighth month of the year is going to be one in which a lot of positive changes will happen. Mind you, I could be wrong and the feeling that I have might just be gas...but hey...you gotta keep positive, right? You kind of have to in order to stay sane in this wacky, crazy world of ours.

So for today's Tuesday Timeline, we're going to be hosting a celebration of sorts. Because even though August 6 was the day in which a life ended, the legacy this person left behind is still being celebrated today. And, I'll give you a little bit of a hint before we launch into the Tuesday Timeline. This person is linked to last week's Monday Matinee. I'll let you put your thinking caps on as we proceed with the events of August 6 throughout history.

1538 – Gonzalo Jimenez de Quesada founds the city of Bogota, Colombia

1661 – The Treaty of the Hague is signed by Portugal and the Dutch Republic

1787 – Sixty proof sheets of the Constitution of the United States are delivered to the Constitutional Convention in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

1819 – Norwich University is founded in Vermont, making it the first American private military school established

1845 – Bolivia gains independence from Spain

1890 – Convicted murderer William Kemmeler becomes the first prisoner to die by way of electric chair

1908 – Actor Will Lee, best known as Sesame Street's Mr. Hooper, is born in Brooklyn, New York

1911 - Actress Lucille Ball is born in Jamestown, New York

1917 – Actor Robert Mitchum is born in Bridgeport, Connecticut

1926 – Gertrude Ederle becomes the first woman to swim across the English Channel

1928 – Pop artist Andy Warhol is born in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

1945 – Hiroshima, Japan is completely destroyed after atomic bomb “Little Boy” is dropped and detonated by American troops, killing seventy thousand people instantly

1962 – Jamaica becomes independent from the United Kingdom

1964 – The world's oldest tree, Prometheus, is chopped down

1988 – The New York Police Department is reformed following the Tompkins Square Riot in New York City

1991 – Former ABC anchorman Harry Reasoner dies of a blood clot in the brain at the age of 68

1996 – NASA announces that the ALH 84001 meteorite contains evidence of primitive life forms

2004 - “Super Freak” singer Rick James passes away at the age of 56

2012 – NASA's Curiosity rover lands on the surface of Mars

Quite a lot of history on August 6, both good and bad, don't you think?

August 6 also has a plethora of celebrity birthdays. And blowing out their candles today are Piers Anthony, Barbara Windsor, Louise Sorel, Catherine Hicks, Daryl Somers, Vinnie Vincent, Stepfanie Kramer, Randy DeBarge, Michelle Yeoh, M. Night Shymalan, Geri “Ginger Spice” Halliwell, Vera Farmiga, Karenna Gore Schiff, Ever Carradine, Soleil Moon Frye, Melissa George, Jennifer Lyons, Marisa Miller, Travie McCoy (Gym Class Heroes), Adrianne Curry, and Jordis Unga.

So, what date in history are we going back in time to?



Actually, not very far at all. The date today is August 6, 2009.

Four years ago, the world lost a man who had a really huge influence in the world of motion pictures, particularly during the period between 1982 and 2008. And in order to understand how well loved and celebrated this man was in the world of Hollywood, we have to begin with the last day of his life.

Thursday, August 6, 2009 began like any other summer morning in New York City. I can imagine that the sights and sounds of Manhattan in the summertime are a once-in-a-lifetime experience (well, unless you were born and raised in New York City, that is). And on that day, our blog subject was taking in the view as he walked down the streets while in town visiting some loved ones.

By the end of the day, he was gone. Dead of a heart attack at the age of 59 after sustaining a massive heart attack right in the middle of West 55th Street in the heart of Manhattan.



It was such a sad ending for writer/director John Hughes – a man whose name has been forever linked with some of the biggest teen movies ever. A man who has so much talent, and yet his life was snatched away from him way too early. A man who helped put stars such as Ally Sheedy, Molly Ringwald, Jon Cryer, Emilio Estevez, Macaulay Culkin, Jennifer Connelly, Andrew McCarthy, Judd Nelson, Matthew Broderick, and Anthony Michael Hall in the spotlight as ten of the biggest rising stars of the 1980s and beyond.

Today we are going to look back on the life and times of John Hughes, some of his most memorable films that his name has been associated with (some of which have been former blog entries, might I add), and the legacy that he left behind.

John Hughes was born in Lansing, Michigan on February 18, 1950, spending the first twelve years of his life growing up in nearby Grosse Pointe, Michigan before his family moved to Chicago, Illinois. Hughes initially had a hard time befriending people, as he never grew up in neighbourhoods where there were many kids his age (a common problem for this blogger as well), and he was initially the quiet kid in high school. But what was interesting about his high school life was that his time as a student at Glenbrook North High School in Northbrook, Illinois would serve as the inspiration behind many of his future projects.

After graduating from high school in 1968, Hughes attended The University of Arizona, but ultimately dropped out, instead focusing on a career in comedy. But unlike other people, he didn't actually tell the jokes himself. Instead, he sold his jokes to other performers like Rodney Dangerfield and Joan Rivers. That experience helped him secure his first adult job as an advertising copywriter in 1970. And during his experience at two different agencies during the early 1970s, he came up with the idea behind this memorable advertising campaign.



(Side note: Were credit cards really that generically boring in the 1970s? That card looked kind of like the Canadian Social Insurance cards! And no, I am not posting mine up for all to see.)

Anyway, John Hughes began building a name for himself in the world of advertising, and one of his biggest clients was Virginia Slims cigarettes. As a result of this, it wasn't uncommon for Hughes to fly out to New York City to the Philip Morris headquarters – the same place where National Lampoon magazine was located. Hughes often spent a lot of time at the magazine's offices, and he even submitted a short story to the magazine entitled “Vacation '58”, about his experiences on the various family vacations he went on.

Little did he know that short story would turn into the screenplay for “National Lampoon's Vacation” - the subject that I talked about in last week's Monday Matinee.

But that was John Hughes for you. And after the success of “National Lampoon's Vacation”, he started to realize that he could have a long, fulfilling career in the movie industry as a screenplay writer. And if one could choose a year in which John Hughes really began to make his mark, it would be 1983. In addition to “National Lampoon's Vacation”, he also had writing credits with “National Lampoon's Class Reunion”, “Mr. Mom”, and “Nate and Hayes”. And that success prompted Moll to wonder if he could have the same success as a director.



That question was answered with the coming-of-age comedy, “Sixteen Candles”, which was released in 1984 and starred Molly Ringwald, Anthony Michael Hall, and Michael Schoeffling. It was a movie about a girl who was struggling to make it through her sixteenth birthday, the fact that her family has seemingly forgotten all about it because of the impending wedding of her sister, and the fact that she is struggling with teenage angst, teenage love, and other teenage problems that people between the ages of thirteen and nineteen could relate to.

What was interesting about “Sixteen Candles” was the realism and the heart that Hughes injected into each and every scene. It wasn't covered up with liberal doses of sweetness and light, nor was it incessantly gory like teenage horror movies. It was a nice, realistic view of what life was like as a teenager growing up in the 1980s, and I think that's why a lot of people seemed to love everything he did.

(Of course, I'm only speculating. I was a 1990s teen myself.)

Of course, this was hardly the first teenage coming-of-age film that Hughes would ever do. In 1985, Hughes won international praise when he cast Ringwald and Hall alongside Emilio Estevez, Ally Sheedy, and Judd Nelson in “The Breakfast Club” - a film which grouped five students of different high school social classes and put them together in a Saturday detention in the school library. He also had success later in the year with the film “Weird Science”, which had Hall and Ilan Mitchell-Smith creating the ultimate science project in the sexy, and gorgeous Kelly LeBrock. A year later, he did it again when he cast Ringwald in a third movie, “Pretty in Pink”, which had her character struggling to choose between the hunky Blane (Andrew McCarthy) and the dorky Duckie (Jon Cryer).

(In case you're keeping track, that's three John Hughes movies a piece for both Anthony Michael Hall and Molly Ringwald.)



Of course those two actors weren't the only ones who benefited from Hughes' “magic touch”. Would anyone know who Matthew Broderick was today had Hughes not directed him in “Ferris Bueller's Day Off?”



Would Macaulay Culkin had become one of the biggest child stars of the 1990s had Hughes not written “Uncle Buck” and “Home Alone”?



Would Kevin Bacon not have continued his ever growing network via his “six degrees of separation” game had he not made an appearance in Hughes' “She's Having A Baby”?

There was just something about Hughes that made box office gold. I don't even think I can name off a John Hughes movie that I didn't particularly enjoy. Mind you, he did have a few clunkers in his time. I don't think too many people will forgive him for 2001's “Just Visiting” or 2002's “Maid in Manhattan”. But in his prime, Hughes proved that he could write for both teenagers and adults alike.

However, in his later years, Hughes shifted away from directing. His last known feature film where he served as director was 1991's “Curly Sue” (which is a movie that I absolutely need to do as a future Monday Matinee). And although he did do some work during the 1990s and early 2000s, he more or less retired from the public eye in 1994 – right around the time that one of his favourite actors that he liked to use in his films passed away at the young age of 43.



John Candy made the most appearances out of all of Hughes' films, with eight in total. Among them were “Planes, Trains, and Automobiles”, “The Great Outdoors”, “Uncle Buck”, “Home Alone”, and “Only The Lonely”. But when John Candy died in March 1994 of a severe heart attack, many sources close to Hughes remarked on how Candy's death affected him greatly. Some people even suggest that had Candy not died in 1994, Hughes would have continued to direct films.

Therefore it almost seems kind of ironic that just fifteen years after John Candy's death that John Hughes would end up dying of a heart attack himself.

Within days of Hughes' passing, the tributes began to flow in. The NBC comedy “Community” (which starred Chevy Chase of the Vacation series) – did a tribute to him on the September 17, 2009 episode which featured a ton of references to Hughes films, including the iconic end song from “The Breakfast Club” found below.



In 2012, the animated film “ParaNorman” was dedicated in his memory, and some of the characters were even designed like the main characters found in “The Breakfast Club”.

But perhaps the most fitting tribute was aired at the 82nd Academy Awards ceremony, which aired on March 7, 2010. Molly Ringwald, Matthew Broderick, Jon Cryer, Anthony Michael Hall, Ally Sheedy, Macaulay Culkin, and Judd Nelson all came out on stage to pay tribute to their friend. And by clicking below, you can watch the whole thing all over again.




A perfect way to end this week's Tuesday Timeline.

Monday, August 05, 2013

The Golden Raspberry Awards

This Monday Matinee feature is going to be quite different from all of the others because for the first time ever in the history of this blog, we're not going to be featuring a movie!

I know what you're thinking.  WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?  The Monday Matinee has been a weekly feature since May 2011!  In this blog, we have featured at least one hundred and twenty movies on this particular blog from all different genres, time periods, and subjects.  We've featured movies that people stood in line for hours to see, while others were movies that people had forgotten all about.

However, I do have some sort of consolation prize for all of you reading this blog entry.  Although we are not talking about a movie specifically for this entry...we are talking about an event that is associated with the subject of movies.  And, I'm not talking about the Oscars either!

For this edition of the Monday Matinee, we're going back a little over thirty-two years in the past, to March 31, 1981.

That was the day that the 53rd Academy Awards aired on television.  It was supposed to have aired the day before, on March 30, 1981, however due to the attempted assassination on then American president Ronald Reagan that day, the ceremony was postponed to the thirty-first.

Now, just as a little bit of a recap for that particular awards ceremony, here were the big winners of the night.

BEST PICTURE - Ordinary People
BEST DIRECTOR - Robert Redford, Ordinary People
BEST ACTOR - Robert De Niro, Raging Bull
BEST ACTRESS - Sissy Spacek, Coal Miner's Daughter
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR - Timothy Hutton, Ordinary People
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS - Mary Steenburgen, Melvin & Howard

So, as you can see, "Ordinary People" was certainly the film to beat.  But how ironic it was that on the same night that the Academy Awards for 1980-1981 were broadcast that a group of ordinary people would host an awards ceremony of their own that night.  And that this awards ceremony would end up being a cult phenomenon that some people actually looked forward to more than the Academy Awards themselves.

There was just one catch.  Nobody wanted to win the award, for it celebrated mediocrity, disappointment, and just plain cheesiness in the world of motion pictures.

And to think that these awards were founded by a man named John "J.B." Wilson thirty-two years ago.



I'm talking about the Golden Raspberry Awards - affectionately known as the Razzie.

Now, for the inaugural ceremony of the Golden Raspberry Award, you'd probably think that it was held in a small, but decent venue.  Perhaps maybe a convention hall, or a hotel lobby, or maybe even a high school gymnasium.

Would you believe that it was held inside of Wilson's living room?



Since Wilson worked in Los Angeles as a copywriter and publicist in the early 1980's, he was certainly considered to be a part of the Hollywood social scene.  And prior to 1981, he was known to have frequently hosted Oscar parties, in which his guests brought a dish while they dished about the Academy Awards - you know, things such as who won, who lost, who was dressed to the nines, and who looked like something the cat dragged in.  Things like that.

Anyway, when the 53rd annual Academy Awards aired, Wilson decided to do an impromptu awards ceremony of his own that year - only instead of celebrating the best of film, he would pan the films that he deemed the very worst.  So, after the conclusion of the Academy Awards, he had a few of his friends present awards of their own.



It is reported that Wilson came up with the idea after watching a double feature of "Xanadu" and "Can't Stop The Music"...two films that were easily considered among the worst films of 1980 (even though Xanadu has a bit of a cult following today).

Standing in front of a cardboard podium, dressed in one of the ugliest tuxedos that one could ever imagine, Wilson presented the very first Golden Raspberry Award to the film "Can't Stop The Music", a thrilling film which starred these guys.



Now, I bet you're wondering where the name "Golden Raspberry" came from.  You've heard of the term "blowing a raspberry" right?  That's how the name came to be.  But in later years, I suppose the term has taken on a deeper meaning.  After all, films and actors who are critically panned are kind of "razzed", right?  

Here's where things get interesting though.  Apparently the facetious awards ceremony attracted the attention of the press!  Specifically, the Los Angeles Times printed a story about it with the headline "Take These Envelopes, Please".  Not bad, considering that the first installment of the Razzies only had an audience of approximately thirty-five people!

But when the second annual Golden Raspberry Awards were presented in 1982, the attendance doubled.  And the following year, the number of people in the audience were triple the amount that showed up at the inaugural ceremony!  By the mid-1980s, CNN began to broadcast the Golden Raspberry Awards, and Wilson began to earn even more interest in the Razzies by beginning to schedule the event one day before the actual Academy Awards - a tradition which has been upheld since 1984.

Now nobody really wants to see their name attached to a Golden Raspberry Award.  Nobody wants to see their names linked to a really bad film, and certainly nobody wants to be "honoured" for being the worst actor or actress of the year.

But do you know which actors and actresses have been nominated for the most Golden Raspberry Awards?  Here's a list of the Top...no, wait...make that Bottom 5 actors and actresses, in order of nominations they have received.

05 - Eddie Murphy (5 nominations), Kim Basinger (5 nominations)
04 - John Travolta (5 nominations), Sharon Stone (5 nominations, 2 wins)
03 - Kevin Costner (7 nominations, 3 wins), Melanie Griffith (6 nominations)
02 - Adam Sandler (8 nominations, 3 wins), Demi Moore (6 nominations, 2 wins)
01 - Sylvester Stallone (13 nominations, 4 wins), Madonna (6 nominations, 5 wins)



So, basically by this list, Sylvester Stallone and Madonna should never act again as long as they both shall live.

And, as to be expected, most of the people bestowed with the "honour" wouldn't be caught dead picking up their trophies at the event.  But fortunately, there are still a few good sports out there in the world, as some actors, actresses, and directors have gone to the ceremony themselves to proudly accept their Razzies.



Bill Cosby was the very first person to actually accept his Razzie Award in 1988 for his performance in 1987's "Leonard, Part 6".  The total cost for his statuette?  $1.97! 

Other people who have come down to accept their awards in person have been Tom Selleck, Paul Verhoeven (director of 1995's "Showgirls"), Brian Helgeland (winner of Worst Screenplay for 1997's "The Postman"), J. David Shapiro (winner of Worst Screenplay for 2000's "Battlefield Earth"), and Tom Green (for 2001's "Freddy Got Fingered").

And would you believe that the list of celebs who have accepted Golden Raspberry Awards included three former Oscar winners?  It's true!



Ben Affleck may have won the Academy Award for Best Screenplay with "Good Will Hunting", but seven years later, he was a triple-threat in the 24th Annual Golden Raspberry Awards, being nominated for his work in "Gigli", "Daredevil", and "Paycheck" - all in the same category!  Is it any wonder he won the prize?



Halle Berry made history by being the first African-American woman to win an Academy Award for "Monster's Ball", but when she won the Razzie for "Catwoman", she accepted the award holding the Razzie in one hand, and the Oscar in the other!  What a terrific sport she was!



Of course, nothing will top Sandra Bullock's story.  She was just as happy to have won the Razzie for her role in "All About Steve" as she was when she won the Academy Award for "The Blind Side" the VERY NEXT DAY!  To win a Razzie and an Oscar in the same year is a once in a lifetime event, and luckily, Sandra won them in the right order!

And in conclusion, I'll be posting the winning...er...losing...whatever films that have won the Golden Raspberry Award over the last ten years in a convenient list.  Is your "favourite" on the list?



2004 - GIGLI
2005 - CATWOMAN
2006 - DIRTY LOVE
2007 - BASIC INSTINCT 2
2008 - I KNOW WHO KILLED ME
2009 - THE LOVE GURU
2010 - TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN
2011 - THE LAST AIRBENDER
2012 - JACK AND JILL
2013 - THE TWILIGHT SAGA:  BREAKING DAWN PART 2

Sunday, August 04, 2013

Tequila

The Soundtrack of Summer continues with another summer favourite, courtesy of a band whose popularity peaked in the late 1950's.  And we'll get to that in just a few moments.

For now though, let's talk summer beverages, shall we?

With the temperatures on any given summer day being eighty degrees or higher, it is very important that people try to beat the heat at all possible costs.  Believe me, I have suffered from the effects of severe dehydration before.  It ain't pretty.

Obviously, the beverage of choice that most people should automatically reach for is a nice tall glass of ice water.  Water is the most refreshing beverage to have on a nice, hot day, and it is very important to stay hydrated, as the sticky, summer weather can make you sweat...and not necessarily in a C&C Music Factory kind of way either.

Of course, that's assuming that you want your cold drink to be non-alcoholic.

I mean, let's face it.  Summer is the ideal period to get your drink on, and provided that one is the age of legality (19 in Canada, 21 in the United States), one can indulge in a variety of coolers, spirits, and cocktails to beat the heat.  Margaritas, Pina Coladas, Strawberry Daiquiris, or just an ice cold beer are among some of the most popular alcoholic drinks to sip on during the most social of summer parties.  Even I've been known to down a couple of Mooseheads on occasion whenever I am able to attend a summer themed bash.

(Oh yeah...just in case some of you are wondering what a Moosehead is, it's a brand of Canadian beer.  A very tasty beer at that, in my own humble opinion.)

And to be fair, even though I'm typically not the kind of person whose sole mission in life is to get as drunk as possible (I got all that out of my system by my 22nd birthday), I have at least sampled a few alcoholic cocktails and drinks over the years.  Margaritas can be good, depending on how they are mixed.  Same deal with Pina Coladas.  A "Fuzzy Navel" is good, as is a "Grasshopper", but NEVER mix the two together.  You will throw up.  Repeatedly and often.  Trust me on that one.

However, there is one alcoholic beverage that I have not yet tried.  And given the reputation this drink has had, it's one that kind of intimidates me.  Why this is a drink that causes women's clothes to fall off, and one that a has-been reality starlet has used for her namesake.  It's also a drink that if abused can make even the most rational thinking person wake up the next morning with an unknown person sleeping in bed beside them and a gigantic tattoo stitched across their entire back.



I am, of course, talking about Tequila.

Tequila is the Mexican-produced beverage that could be considered one of the most potent of all the alcoholic beverages, with some varieties having as much as a 55% alcohol content.  And let's put it this way.  Anyone I ever knew who decided to add a little bit of tequila to their binge drinking plans usually ended up regretting it the next day.  I think that might be the main reason why I am a little reluctant to even take a sip of the "forbidden beverage" even though everyone I know says that it's wonderful.

Now, that being said, there is one "Tequila" that I did appreciate and enjoy.  And, as it so happens, that's the subject of today's Sunday Jukebox!





ARTIST:  The Champs
SONG:  Tequila
ALBUM:  N/A (was released as a single)
DATE RELEASED:  January 15, 1958
PEAK POSITION ON THE BILLBOARD CHARTS:  #1 for 5 weeks

It seems hard to believe that "Tequila" is fifty-five years old!  I suppose that it doesn't seem that way because of the fact that the song has been played at nearly every summer gathering that I have ever attended in my lifetime.  It's a classic that like blue jeans and baseball caps don't seem to be going away any time soon.



The story behind the release of "Tequila" dates back to the year 1957, when Challenge Records (a label owned by Gene Autry) signed a singer-songwriter named Dave Burgess to the label.  Dave Burgess specialized in a fairly new genre of music known as "Rockabilly", and prior to being signed by Challenge Records could be heard recording under the name of Dave Dupree.  However, by the end of the year, there were still no major chart-toppers by the record label, prompting executives to assign Dupree the task of organizing a recording session to come up with a brand new song that the label hoped would be a success.

To add to the pressure, the date of the recording session was scheduled for December 23, 1957 - two days before Christmas.  Nevertheless, Dave Burgess was at the recording studio armed with his rhythm guitar along with five other musicians.  They were...



Cliff Hills - bass guitar
Danny Flores - saxophone and keyboards
Gene Alden - drums
Buddy Bruce - lead guitarist
Huelyn Duvall - backing vocals

NOTE:  Flores, Alden, and Bruce were already a trio when they were asked to join in on Burgess' recording session, going by the name "The Flores Trio".

And, here's one more point to consider.  The band didn't purposely set out to record "Tequila" that particular day.  They were there instead to record another song entitled "Train to Nowhere".  "Tequila was the final song recorded for the session, which initially started off as a jam session between the members of the Flores Trio.




TRIVIA:  Not only did Danny Flores come up with the iconic saxophone solo that accompanied the largely instrumental hit, but Flores is also the one who says the word "Tequila" thrice during the entire song.  

The single was credited to Danny Flores as the principal songwriter...but because Flores was signed to a competing record label at the time, he was forced to use a pseudonym on the "Tequila" album...Chuck Rio.  In fact, I suppose you could say that the song predates "The Champs", as the band adopted that name just five days after "Tequila" was officially released.  The song took three takes before the group was satisfied with how it turned out, and it was ready in time for the January 1958 release as a B-side to the "Train to Nowhere" single.  

But a funny thing about B-sides.  Sometimes they can be more successful than the song that was initially intended to be the A-single!  Certainly, that was the case with "Tequila", which topped the charts beginning the week of March 28, 1958 - which wouldn't have happened had a Cleveland area DJ not taken a chance and played the B-side on a whim.  

And, certainly, "Tequila" has had its impact in the world of pop culture.  The number of people who have since covered the single is astounding.  Many people have sang their own versions of the song, including Eddie Platt (1958), Dizzy Gillespie (1966), Boots Randolph (1967), Hot Butter (1972), Larry Carlton (1983), and David Sanborn (2003).

And, who could forget the use of the song in several feature films?  Such as 1985's "Pee-Wee's Big Adventure"?



Or in 1990's "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles"?



Or in 1993's "The Sandlot"?



So, yes.  "Tequila" was, is, and will likely forever be a pop culture phenomenon, and it is now a permanent part of this blog.

But as far as the drink goes...I'll stick with my Moosehead, thanks.