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Thursday, August 15, 2013

August - An Unbalanced Month of an Otherwise Balanced Me

Okay. So, you know when you have an idea for a Thursday Diary entry plotted out in your head, and you are all set to talk about it, and then something happens and you decide to completely flip the script and just wing it?

That's what this post is all about. It's completely unscripted, unplanned, and it's just my own personal thoughts that are going through my head at this time. And, I warn you...my winging it abilities are not very good. As a result, this blog entry might not seem as polished as some of my other works. But you know what? I have a lot on my mind that I really need to get off my chest, and I figure that now is as good a time as any.

I just hope that I can make it through this Thursday Diary entry without being whiny or annoying. It's always a risk one takes when they go “live”, so to speak. However, it's one that I think that I need to take.

And, to match the nervousness I am feeling, I'm changing up the ink colour to a nice orangey colour (I'd use yellow for caution, but it won't show up against the yellow background).

August 15, 2013



Is this month over yet? I mean, really, is it?

Sigh...I guess it's only typical. One of the most difficult months that I am currently experiencing and it happens to be one of the ones with thirty-one days. At least when I had my gall bladder removed, it was February, and it was only twenty-eight days.

I honestly don't know what it is about August that I am finding so difficult. I know some people have said that April is the cruellest month, but I have never really been a big fan of August. I mean, yeah, August has had some good moments (the birth of my nephew as well as my parents' wedding anniversary). And last August was a good one, as I finally spent time with an old friend who came up to visit during the summer.

But there's just something about August 2013 that has kind of made me a bit...well...crotchety.

I'm finding myself not enjoying things as well as I could be. I mean, yes, I did reveal a few days ago that I am simultaneously coming to terms with everything that has happened and that I am in a rather good place right now. And, for the most part, up until this month, I would have completely agreed with this point...to a degree.

And then August 2013 happened, and I find myself questioning everything about myself.

And to tell you the truth, I HATE having those feelings. I thought that I was completely past all of that by now, and yet here we are. The fifteenth of August. And, I'm finding that I don't really know myself as well as I thought I did.

Let me give you a bit of an idea as to what August has been like for me so far. It's been a month in which I haven't had a whole lot of downtime. I mean, I did take a tour of our annual rib festival this past Saturday, but aside from that, I've been basically all work and very little play. Not exactly what one would call a rather balanced life.



And I think this is the key to note when it comes to what I have been thinking about. Balance.

I'm gonna put it out there right now. When it comes to the subject of balance, there's only two words that I can use to describe my understanding of it.



I believe the cool kids call it an “epic fail”?

Well, I'll tell you what. August 2013 has most certainly “pwned” me in that regard (hey look, more “cool kid/nerd” lingo – I'm getting good at this teenspeak).

And, if there's any lesson that this month has been drilling into my head thus far, it is this. I don't know how to achieve that perfect balance in my life that so many people take for granted.

But then again, I've always had issues with balance...both in the emotional sense and the physical sense.



I still have vivid memories of kindergarten gym class. Now, I don't know if you remember some of the activities that you all performed in gym class as a five-year-old child, but one day in class, we had an obstacle course set up with dozens of stations for us to improve our athletic abilities. And as it so happens, one of those stations was a balance beam.

Well, okay, technically it wasn't a REAL balance beam. My elementary school was too cheap to pony up the dough for one of those. So my school used the poor man's version of a balance beam, which was an upside down bench.

(That should have been warning sign number one right there.)

Suffice to say, I didn't exactly do so well on the balance beam portion. I fell off the beam/bench halfway through and bruised my arm rather badly. Luckily, I didn't break it or sprain it...but needless to say, I had to use my left hand to finish my colouring assignments and well – I am not a southpaw by birth. Need I say more?

(And, come to think of it, this more than likely was a contributing factor to my lifelong hatred of P.E. Classes straight through my entire school career.)

Well, the reason why I have brought up this whole balance beam analogy is because it's very similar to the road in which I am taking currently, and it best describes how I am feeling during August 2013.

Unbalanced.

I'm just at a point in my life in which I feel as though I am losing control of what I once thought I had, and it's not a good feeling.

I feel as though I've spent so much time trying to perfect my professional life that I feel like I've left my personal life off to the side to gather cobwebs. And, this isn't the way that I saw myself living life...as a workoholic trying his best to make everyone happy that he's completely forgotten how to be happy himself.

I know that a couple of weeks ago, I was talking about how I wanted to try something new in my professional life. How I wanted a pair of scissors for the safety net that I call work. I still haven't changed my mind about that. But right now, I'd settle for trying to find a way to balance my work life with my home life. I've been doing a lousy job of it as of late.



Now, keep in mind that right now I'm in what you call a rather unique situation, as I've changed my job title a couple of times this year.  And most days, I'm okay with the job that I am doing.  But trying to keep track of all the latest gadgets, and sometimes being at a complete loss as to how to explain how those gadgets work...it just takes a lot out of a person, especially one who has only been in an area for six weeks. I don't feel as though I am grasping everything the way that I did when I was in the food department, or even in seasonal, and I get angry at myself for being so frustrated when I believed that those days were behind me.

The person who used to get frustrated when things went terribly wrong...that was the past. Everything is supposed to be balanced, and I'm supposed to keep a cool head at all times.

Well...that is until we got to August 2013, and everything got flipped upside down.



A year ago, I felt so much self-confidence about myself, and I was doing so well. Even a few days ago, I was doing not too badly, and was in a good place. But sometimes all it takes is one bad day for you to question the self-confidence you thought you had and it makes you re-evaluate everything you ever believed about yourself. Something happens that takes that perfect balance and completely tears it all apart.

I guess what I'm saying is that it took that bad day of having to pick up the pieces of what was once a balanced view of the world, and trying to figure out what the extra weight was that caused that scale to upset.

And right at this moment, that weight is my self-confidence at the workplace. Or rather, I should say, the lack of it. And, while I will absolutely credit every single one of my co-workers for being absolutely amazing and supportive, and who have likely helped me try to sound like less of an idiot savant in trying to explain how things work...there's a part of me that feels as though my being there is holding everyone back in some way.

Mind you, they'll also be the first ones to point out that I am being absolutely silly in thinking this way and they will tell me that I am doing well even though I might not see it. But when it comes down to it, my comfort level at this time in regards to what I am doing in my life right now is at an all-time low, and I don't know how to fix it.

I guess right now, all I can do is try to make it work as best I can, in hopes that one day I can find the balance that I need to continue finding success and happiness.

And also, I need to find a way to balance my professional life with my personal life. Because I know that if I can't make it happen, then nothing will ever improve.

I absolutely hate feeling this way, but sometimes when one has a bad time of it all, getting it out in print certainly helps. And strangely enough, I feel slightly better for getting it all out there. My self-confidence still needs a lot of work, and unfortunately, I cannot purchase a self-confidence booster shot at any store.

I'll get there...I am just as a loss as to how. Perhaps in the near future, a complete job change is in the works, or at the very least, trying to find options for improving my personal and social life, which I feel has been kept under lock and key for some time.




For now...there's still sixteen days left in the month. Here's hoping that they go by quickly. And here's hoping that September is better.

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Ode to a Samsung Classic Collection II Model MW3100T

Well, this week, I have no requests for the All-Request Wednesday, and admittedly, I'm a little bit sad about that. But then again, I haven't really had the time to properly promote the feature. August has been one of those months in which I haven't had a whole lot of free time to myself, and I'm trying to do a million things at once. I still take time to write in this space each day though, so take it from me, that's always a good thing.

Anyway, since I have no request for this week, I thought that I would try something new. I thought that I would let the computer decide my topic for me.

I know what you're probably thinking. How can a computer EVER decide what topic I should talk about? Well, here's the answer.

Have you ever heard of the website known as “Flickr”? Well, before sites like Instagram and Pinterest took over in popularity, Flickr was one of the best sites to find pictures. You could literally find a photo on almost any subject imaginable.

And, so I decided to make Flickr the site that inspired this request!

What I did was I clicked on the section of the site that prompted a random picture to pop up. And what I decided to do was make the very first picture that popped up the theme for today's blog.

Would you believe that the first photo that popped up on my screen was a shot of a microwave oven? I had no idea that people just randomly took pictures of microwave ovens and other kitchen appliances and posted them on picture hosting sites, but apparently a lot more people do it than you'd think.

Nevertheless, I came up with a fantastic idea for a blog entry just based on this picture...and unfortunately it begins on a rather sad note.

My microwave oven that I have used recently bit the big one. I mean, it still turns on all right, but the timer recently quit working on it, making it absolutely impossible to determine how long food has been cooking inside of it without having to set off a second alarm. And considering that microwave ovens are meant to cook food conveniently, setting up a second timer to be able to use it isn't very practical. So, I've come to the sad conclusion that my microwave oven is completely toast, and that I will have to get rid of it.



In Loving Memory
Samsung Classic Collection II Model MW3100T
1989-2013

And yes...you are reading that correctly. My family owned that microwave oven since the late 1980s! And for twenty-four years, it provided our family with reheated frozen dinners, microwave popcorn, and cup-a-soups faithfully. It started off as an anniversary present from one of my sisters for my parents, who used it at least twice a week for about ten or fifteen years. Then I staked my claim on the microwave and it lasted another nine years after that.

Seriously, how many microwave ovens do you know that have lasted almost a quarter of a century? Not many, I bet? In fact, I often talked about my microwave with almost a strange sense of pride. I mean, that microwave has been in my family since “The Simpsons” have been on the air! I don't even think I've had a television, VCR, DVD Player, computer printer, or refrigerator last that long!

Though, when it comes to microwaves, I'll be the first one to admit that every single member of my family who used that microwave over the years were very careful about how they used it. We didn't set any bags of popcorn on fire, we didn't nuke a cup of hot cocoa in there so long it cracked the cup inside. And we certainly didn't do this...



HELPFUL HINT: Don't ever put metal in a microwave. Ever. And, don't let your Gremlins throw things in there either. It will never end well.

Of course, all good things come to an end, and I've come to the conclusion that my microwave has outlived its usefulness after twenty-four years.

And on that note, I now have to face the inevitable. I have to now buy a brand new microwave oven. And to be honest with you, I'm a little bit nervous about doing so.

If you haven't noticed from the picture up above, the microwave that I used appears quite primitive in comparison to more recent models. I mean, let's look at it a little closer. You have a little button on the right hand corner of the microwave that allows the door to pop open. Most of the new microwaves do not have this feature. All you really have to do is pull on the door of most modern microwave ovens and it will open up without any problem.

And then there are the two dials that are on the right hand side. Dials on a microwave this day and age are kind of like the telephones with the rotary phone dials. Absolutely impossible to find now. I mean, let's face it. We now live in an age in which button pushing is the key to happiness. That's why we have keyboards for computers, remote controls for televisions, and push button technology on almost all microwaves manufactured over the last twenty years.



Now granted, I'm not completely clueless when it comes to using the newer model microwaves. We have modern style microwaves in my workplace employee lounge and they're simple enough to use. They've been a welcome addition to the lounge, especially when you have only an hour for lunch.

Of course, this leads into my next point. Do you know how many microwaves that we have gone through at my workplace since I began working there eight and a half years ago? I lost count after five.

Now, initially, I was thinking that the reason why we went through so many microwaves was due to the fact that they weren't built as durable and reliable as they were back in 1989. I mean, when a microwave only gets two years of use, some may see that as a great shelf life for a microwave. But when you consider that is only a twelfth of the shelf life that my beloved microwave had, it does kind of make you wonder about how good appliances are being built these days.



I know that many people are frustrated with the whole “made in China” debacle about how ever since we started outsourcing manufacturing jobs to other countries the products have simply just not been as good as they were some decades ago. But just looking at my own experiences with appliances, it's hard for me not to take that argument into account.

But it's recently dawned on me that this might only be a part of the issue here. You see, my workplace has two microwave ovens inside of the employee lounge. And, on any given day at my workplace, there can be as many as one hundred and fifty people using a microwave at any given time. That's essentially seventy-five people to a microwave. And when you have that many people using a microwave that frequently, things have a tendency to wear out a lot faster than they are meant to.

Not to mention the fact that not everyone that I have worked with in the past have not been as respectful to their kitchen appliances as my family was with our Samsung Classic Collection II Model MW3100T. I seem to recall one incident in which someone who is no longer with the company decided to make a cup of Ramen noodles inside of the microwave not realizing that they forgot to add the water inside of the cup.



Needless to say, it was a smoky mess, and that pretty much killed one of the microwaves right there. Mind you, that was just an isolated incident. However, the fact that my workplace has essentially gone through a microwave for every year that I've worked there kind of gives me the heebie-jeebies about purchasing another microwave. I highly doubt that I will get a microwave that will take me through the next twenty-four years of my life, and it makes me kind of sad in a way because it seems as though appliances just don't have the same shelf life that they used to.

I guess I have this mentality that if something isn't broken, don't fix it or replace it. I'm definitely not the kind of person who wants to have the latest model of anything in order to maintain the so-called “status quo”. I don't really care about my social class in comparison to other people. I'd rather have appliances that work for a really long time rather than appliances which are only guaranteed to work for a year. I guess that's why I won't upgrade to a new iPod until my old one dies out. That's why I still have one of those big and bulky televisions instead of the sleek LCD/LED models. It still works perfectly fine, so why get rid of it? And, that's why I haven't bought a microwave in twenty-four years. To me, a good appliance means one that does its job and then some. I don't care if it sticks out like a sore thumb. Interior decorating is not my main concern when it comes to choosing electronics and appliances. It's how much I can get out of them

Mind you, the only exception to this rule is when I upgraded my Nintendo DS with a Nintendo 3DS. But that's only because I wanted to play the newer video games. I still have my old Nintendo DS as a back-up in case I need it, and I even still have the Super Nintendo that I used to play twenty-one years ago. It's yellowed with age and a lot more sensitive than it used to be, but still works like a charm.



I just don't understand the mindset of people who line up outside a store to pick up a new iPhone or the newest model of a cell phone, when the iPhone or cell phone that they have in their hands is just as good. I mean, when you consider that an iPhone/cell phone retails at $399 and up depending on the model you purchase, trying to keep up with the Joneses can put one into bankruptcy if one isn't careful. I just don't really understand the disposable nature that people have when it comes to appliances. It's really sad to see.

I mean, has anyone not seen “The Brave Little Toaster”? The appliances in that film were old-fashioned and ancient, but yet they still found a way to be useful to their owner.

Just like my old microwave served my family for years and years.



And so, I bid farewell to an old friend...a friend who made sure I had buttered popcorn to eat during movies and reheated meals from the day before.

You served me well, Samsung Classic Collection II Model MW3100T.  

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

August 13, 1966

I don't know what it is about August 13 as a whole, but it's certainly not the most exciting day to perform a Tuesday Timeline special feature. I'm sure that for some of you, today is a very important day, but I can't really say that I had an easy time choosing a decent topic that would garner much interest.

In fact, my quest for the perfect Tuesday Timeline topic was so intense that the subject I ended up picking was quite literally from the depths of the Internet. It may seem like the most random date ever, but ultimately, I think I can come up with a topic that not only talks about a group that sang a song that became a huge hit, but also allows me to tell a personal tale linked to the entry.

(Which may seem like an interesting feat given that the Tuesday Timeline date for today predates me by a decade and a half.)

But, I've said too much already. Let's take a look at what happened on the thirteenth day of August, beginning with...

1792 – King Louis XVI of France is arrested by the National Tribunal, and is declared an enemy of the people

1831 – Nat Turner sees a solar eclipse, which he sees as a sign from God – hard to believe that just a few days later, he and a group of slaves would overpower fifty-five whites in the state of Virginia

1868 – A massive earthquake in Peru kills twenty-five thousand people, and the following tsunami devastates sections of Hawaii and New Zealand

1898 – Carl Gustav Witt discovers 433 Eros, the first near-Earth asteroid to be found

1910 – British born nurse Florence Nightingale dies at the age of 90

1913 – The first production in the United Kingdom of stainless steel is launched by Harry Brearley

1918 – Opha Mae Johnson becomes the first woman to enlist in the United States Marine Corps

1930 – Hawaiian singing legend Don Ho is born in Honolulu

1937 – The Battle of Shanghai begins

1942 – Major General Eugene Reybold of the United States Army Corps of Engineers authorizes the construction of the “Manhattan Project”

1951 – Singer-songwriter Dan Fogelberg is born in Peoria, Illinois

1960 – The Central African Republic declares independence from France

1961 – East Germany closes the border between the eastern and western sections of Berlin

1964 – Peter Allen and Gwynne Evans are hung for the murder of John Allan West, making them the final people to be executed in the United Kingdom

1969 – The Apollo 11 astronauts are released from a three-week quarantine to enjoy a ticker tape parade, following by the awarding of the Presidential Medal of Freedom by Richard Nixon in the wake of their walk on the surface of the moon

1995 – Baseball legend Mickey Mantle dies just months after receiving a liver transplant at the age of 63

2004 – World renowned chef Julia Child passes away, just two days before her ninety-second birthday

2006 – English actor and voice artist Tony Jay passes away in Los Angeles, California at age 73

A nice mix of events, but none of them were such that I felt as though I could do any of the subjects justice.

So, I opted to try celebrity birthdays – which didn't get me anywhere either. However, a very happy birthday to the following famous faces – Pat Harrington Jr., Joycelyn Elders, Gary Gregor, John Stocker, Scott Powell, Bobby Clarke, Feargal Sharkey, Danny Bonaduce, Sam Champion, Dawnn Lewis, Tom Perrotta, John Slattery, Hank Cheyne, Debi Mazar, Shayne Corson, Quinn Cummings, David Monahan, Molly Henneberg, Jonathon Dutton, and Stephen James King.

(Not to be confused with novelist Stephen King.)

Again, a nice list of names there, but none that really stand out.

So, I decided to go onto a site which had a lot of music trivia posted on it, hoping that I would find something to talk about...and fortunately for me, I hit pay dirt.



Today's special date that we will be looking at is August 13, 1966.

So, what was happening in the world around that time? Well, “As The World Turns” was the #1 daytime drama on television, the Baltimore Orioles didn't know it yet, but they were well on their way to winning the World Series for 1966, and my parents were just fifteen days away from celebrating their first wedding anniversary.

And on August 13, 1966, a particular song debuted on the Billboard Charts at #66. 

Now, when I was doing the research for this particular blog, the actual date that the single was released is debatable.  The majority of sources say August 1966, but a couple reveal the date to be closer to July.  But since I have seen a couple of references that state the date as August 13, 1966 (one of which was the book "The Billboard Book of Number One Hits"), I'm going with that one.

It was recorded by an all girl group that was signed to Motown Records in 1959, and although their early years were filled with some personnel changes, by 1962, the band began to chart hits under the trio of Mary Wilson, Florence Ballard, and Diana Ross.  



They were the band that would come to be known as "The Supremes".  Or, "Diana Ross and the Supremes".  Or, Diana Ross and Two Other Women", depending on what was happening within the group.  

Anyway, while the band began recording and releasing singles as the 1960s began, it really wasn't until 1964 that the band really began to pick up steam with the single "Where Did Our Love Go".  That single would become the first of five consecutive number one hits for the band between 1964 and 1965.  "Baby Love", "Come See About Me", "Stop! In The Name Of Love", "Back In My Arms Again"...all huge hits!

All in all, the Supremes scored a total of a dozen chart toppers between 1964 and 1969...therefore, it seems only fitting that today's song just happens to be one of the band's #1 singles.  And, it also happens to be a song that reached #1 twice by two different artists!  For now though, let's have a look at the song which as many sources reveal was released forty-seven years ago today!





ARTIST:  The Supremes
SONG:  You Can't Hurry Love
ALBUM:  The Supremes A' Go-Go
DATE RELEASED:  August 13, 1966
PEAK POSITION ON THE BILLBOARD CHARTS:  #1 for 2 weeks



Now, one thing you should know is that this song basically rocketed its way to the top of the charts in no time flat.  When it debuted at #66 in August 1966, I think many people were shocked to see the song peak at the top of the charts one month later!  The song became September 1966's biggest hit, peaking for two weeks before being unseated by The Association's "Cherish".  

And, you know something?  I actually think that this might be one of my favourite Supremes songs.  In all honesty, I kind of have a soft spot for 1960s Motown music, and the Supremes were definitely a huge part of why this is the case.

The song is actually one that has a really positive message behind it, though it's only positive if you happen to have the virtue known as patience.

Obviously the song is a love song, but with a twist.  It's actually an advice song that the Supremes sing as if they were listening to the advice of their older, but wiser mother, who simply states that you can't hurry love.  You just have to wait.  Because love don't come easy as it's just a game of give or take.

You know, I know from personal experience just how frustrating finding love is.  In my thirty-two years of living, I'm still trying to find the person who makes me absolutely melt into a puddle and who makes my heart do cartwheels.

(Well, okay, maybe not the cartwheeling heart.  That would kill me.)



The point is that this particular song could very well be considered as a permanent part of my life soundtrack located right in between Foreigner's "I Wanna Know What Love Is" and Kylie Minogue's "I Should Be So Lucky".  

I can't begin to tell you how many times I have observed that all of my friends have settled down with someone they absolutely love while I'm still out there looking to cancel my subscription to Bachelor Dinner Theatre forever.

(Yeah, okay...I need to keep telling myself that analogies like that are probably not helping my cause in the love department.  Sigh...where are the sheepish grin emoticons when you need them?)

But you know what?  I'll make a confession that some of the best life lessons that I have ever learned came from pop music.  It's true!  And, I've never even been to New York, London, Paris, or Munich!  Everybody learns from Pop Music!  Pop, pop, pop music...

(Ahem...sorry about that.  Wrong song.  "M" isn't scheduled at all this week.)

Anyway, back to the Supremes.  I've learned from listening to this song in preparation for this blog entry not to force love.  As much as I might be considered quite impatient to the point where some may accuse me of reeking of desperation, I am actually quite the opposite as I type these words.  

I mean, sure.  Maybe my love life is kind of on a dry spell right now...and, well, over the last ten years or so.  But there's a reason for that.  

I don't think that back then I was ready to enter a relationship.  I was an emotional mess a decade ago.  Back in that time, I didn't even like myself very much, so how could I expect anyone to fall in love with me when I couldn't even master the art of appreciating who I really was?  It makes sense, doesn't it?

Flash forward to 2013, and things have gotten better.  I'm still not quite where I want to be in life, but I mean, let's be realistic.  Who really is?  There's always going to be something that we want that we can't always have at the moment.  For me, it just happens to be building up my self-confidence so that I can show someone that I can be the kind of man that they want in their lives.  I'm ALMOST there, as far as I'm concerned, but I'm not quite there yet.  And, that's okay.  I'm not going to rush things, or attempt to take on too much at one time.  And, that includes the subject of love.

Look, I could very well be fifty before I find the one who I am supposed to be with for the rest of my life.  If it happens that this is the case, so be it.  I'm hopeful that it will happen before 2031, but if it doesn't, I'm prepared to wait for it.  After all, just like the Supremes sang in their song from all those years ago, my own mother told me that if something is meant to happen it will.  And, you know something, I have no choice but to believe it to be true.

Besides, rushing love along can cause a lot more problems if anything.  I've known quite a few couples who have busted up because they took relationships way too fast.  They moved in together far too soon, they have gotten engaged within two months or less, and in one case, they hastily planned a wedding just a few months after they met, only for the whole thing to crash and burn because one of them got cold feet about the speed that the relationship was going.  Believe me, The Supremes were not wrong in this case.

(Though given that at the time the single was recorded, Diana Ross was embarking on an affair with Berry Gordy, I'm kind of wondering if Diana followed the words of wisdom that she sang about on "You Can't Hurry Love".  But that seems to be water under the bridge now, I suppose.)

But that's enough about me.  

The song was widely praised in the music industry, and it certainly helped "The Supremes" move onto the next stage in their career, moving away from the teen pop genre that established them as music darlings and into more adult sophisticated singles that held deeper meaning.

TRIVIA:  This song was actually recorded right around the same time that they were recording the single "You Keep Me Hanging On".  It was originally planned that "You Keep Me Hanging On" would be the first single from the "The Supremes A' Go-Go", but Motown's Quality Control Department chose to go with "You Can't Hurry Love".  In the end, it didn't really matter too much, as both songs hit the top of the charts in late 1966.

And, believe it or not, the song "You Can't Hurry Love" didn't only top the charts in the 1960s.  It also was a #1 hit in the 1980s - albeit by a different artist.  In November 1982, Genesis drummer Phil Collins was enjoying his solo career (which he kicked off nearly two years earlier), and one of his biggest hits was a cover version of "You Can't Hurry Love".  Have a listen to Phil's version below, which became a #1 hit in the United Kingdom on January 9, 1983.


Hard to believe that topped the charts thirty years ago!  Insane.

Of course, Phil had The Supremes to thank for this chart-topper...a song which first hit the Billboard Charts on August 13, 1966.




Monday, August 12, 2013

Sharknado

You know, it's not very often that I do a Monday Matinee feature on a made-for-television movie, but given the recent buzz over a film that aired on television just last month, I thought that I would make an exception.

Before I get into the discussion, I thought that I would offer up a little confession. The only reason why I am just now getting to this film for discussion is because I only managed to watch the film for the first time just a couple of days ago on Canada's version of the Discovery Channel. I didn't want to do a Monday Matinee on a film that I have never seen. I wouldn't have much to talk about if I hadn't.

So, that's why I'm coming a little bit late to the party. I hope that you all understand.

And now, on with the discussion.

There are a few reasons why whenever I talk about films in the Monday Matinee that I don't typically choose movies that were made for a television audience (with lone exception to the 1994 miniseries “The Stand”, which was absolutely brilliant).

The first reason is that nobody really remembers them after they air. Most people can quote at least one or two quotes from “Star Wars”, “Harry Potter”, or “Borat”, but I bet you that nobody remembers the movie which had Kellie Martin from “Life Goes On” stabbing Tori Spelling to death with a knife. I don't even remember the title. Though admittedly, I imagine some tuned in to watch Donna Martin – exsanguinate.

(Yeah, yeah...bad joke. I know. For the record, the TV movie was 1994's “A Friend To Die For”.)

The second reason is that most of these television movies are unnecessarily saccharinely sweet. I get that Hallmark has made a fortune with nice, warm, and fuzzy messages printed inside of each greeting card they manufacture. But there's a reason for that. A greeting card is only like thirty seconds of entertainment. Now, if you took that same sentiment and expanded it into a two hour movie, it would be so much sweetness that you'd probably throw up a rainbow of Skittles. I have nothing against Hallmark films, but I can't sit through one without resisting the urge to change the channel.

And, lastly, made for television movies are churned out faster than episodes of MTV's “The Real World”, and none of them have really stood out as being epic, memorable, and noteworthy enough to devote an entire blog to them...

...until now.

The film up for discussion today aired on the Syfy Channel on July 11, 2013, and as of August 2013 has an unusually high ranking on the film review website “Rotten Tomatoes” (last I checked, it was just under 90% in its approval rating). Mind you, I would imagine that a lot of those rankings were either punched in by die-hard fans, people under the influence of something, or people who love a movie no matter how ridiculous it is.

And believe me, the premise for this film is quite ridiculous. In fact, I think it can be summarized in just one word.

SHARKNADO!!!

Yes, believe it or not, I'm doing a blog entry on what appears to be the hottest trend for Summer 2013. “Sharknado”.



And, I think we can figure out what the movie is about just based on the two words that make up this...rather awkward looking portmanteau.

Shark (n) – a giant fish species with sharp teeth, classified to be at the highest order of the underwater food chain

Tornado (n) – a rotating cloud of air that is in contact with the ground and a cumulonimbus cloud that is capable of destroying entire structures depending on its speed

You put them together, and you have this.

Sharknado (n) – a rotating cloud of air that is capable of raining sharks down upon the earth

Now, I don't know exactly if there has ever been any instance of a “sharknado” ever being recorded in the modern history books. I'm going to wager a guess that a sharknado has never ever happened before, but then again, I've only been alive thirty-two years. For all I know, we could have had one back in 707 BC and not even realized it because none of us were around.

But, just for the sake of argument, let's just state that sharknadoes are extremely rare. We've never actually seen one happen, but the possibility I suppose is always there. Like maybe a 0.0000000000001% chance.



Anyway, that's the basic plot of “Sharknado”. A hurricane appears in the middle of the Pacific Ocean just outside of Los Angeles, California, and the result sends thousands of killer sharks up in the air to swirl around a funnel cloud that is fast approaching the city. And this is a really bad thing to happen. Los Angeles is after all one of the most populated cities in the United States, and if sharks began to fall down on Sunset Boulevard, Rodeo Drive, and the Hollywood Walk of Fame, it wouldn't be great for tourism. And, most certainly, everyone in the city would become lunch for these displaced sharks.

But that's okay! We have a team of heroes made up of former 1990s stars! With Ian Ziering from “Beverly Hills 90210”, Tara Reid from “American Pie”, the dad from “Home Alone” (John Heard) and Jaason Simmons from “Baywatch” on our side, we have no reason to worry, right?

Right?

Well, okay...I suppose it could be worse. We could have had Tori Spelling and Kellie Martin. Hey, maybe Tori Spelling could have stabbed Kellie Martin with the tooth of a Great White Shark as payback for what Kellie did to her in that 1994 movie!



Anyway, “Sharknado” is definitely a movie that is filled with action. See a guy get his arm lopped off by a shark, bleeding to death right on the pavement! See the iconic ferris wheel located on the Santa Monica Pier roll away and smash into a building! See a shark swallow someone whole after they fall out of a helicopter already in motion!



And see marine biologists, meteorologists, and scientists all over the world writhing around the floor in uncontrollable fits of laughter over how ridiculous and inaccurate the film is!

To be honest with you, I'm not exactly the kind of guy who likes seeing films with excessive blood and gore, and I usually turn away my head every time I see it happen (one of the many reasons why I want a career in writing and not in medicine). But the ways in which people were killed off on “Sharknado” were so ridiculous and unbelievable that I didn't get the slightest bit nauseous. I laughed my head off at the scenes which were supposed to be serious, but executed as anything but!




I'm specifically singling out the last twenty minutes of the film as being one of those moments that was like a really horrible twenty-seven car pileup on the middle of a major highway. It's incredibly bad, horrific, and vomit-inducing, but for some insane reason, you have a very difficult time not staring at it like a deer in the headlights.

That essentially summarizes my entire “Sharknado” viewing experience. A movie that is absolutely bad in every possible way, but invoked such a fan reaction that it became an instant hit all over the world. I mean, Mia Farrow tweeted about the movie on her own account. She was all like “OMG Sharknado!!!” She was completely fan-girling this movie, keeping in mind that she was in “Rosemary's Baby” and several other high profile pictures over her career. So, I suppose if Mia Farrow liked it, then it had to have some impact, right?

At any rate, my final impression of “Sharknado” is as such. It's a movie that has so many plot holes, it's like the film version of swiss cheese. The acting skills are...well...laughably bad. And, the likelihood of sharks raining down over the California coast is well...slim to impossible. At the same time though, I do like the fact that the filmmakers have made the film knowing that we weren't going to take it seriously. They were having fun with the crazy plot, and took chances on scenes for the film. Some actually didn't turn out too bad, while others were laughably horrible. But, you know you have to admire the fact that they took a risk, and judging by the fact that people are still talking about “Sharknado” a month later, it seemed that they accomplished what they set out to do.

And Ian Ziering is probably enjoying his new-found popularity. Why, I don't think he's had this much media coverage since “Beverly Hills 90210” wrapped up in 2000. It doesn't even matter whether his acting will win him a People's Choice Award (not likely), or a Golden Raspberry Award (now we're talking). His name is out there again, and that likely makes him very happy.

All in all, “Sharknado” might not meet the definition of being a film classic that people will remember twenty or thirty years down the road...but as a summer film that serves as a nice distraction from everyday life? It works.

And it is rumoured that a sequel is in the works for next summer...the setting this time being New York City. I can already see the Statue of Liberty impaling a hammerhead shark with her torch as I type this.

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Wouldn't It Be Good?

I imagine that many of you out there will either agree with me, or agree to disagree, but it is this blogger's humble opinion that one of the best summer foods to eat is a nice rack of barbecued ribs.



I mean, seriously. Is there any other time of year in which they are the most tasty? Just being able to grill them outside, coating them with a sauce that packs a punch. That's the perfect summer treat as far as I'm concerned, ranking right up there with watermelon, frozen lemonade, and corn on the cob.

I mean, sure. I suppose that you can have ribs any time of the year. My mother makes ribs all year round in the oven along with her world famous secret recipe (which if you're really nice, I could tell you the ingredients, but I don't have exact measurements as she never really did figure out an exact ratio).

I do know that the sauce contains brown sugar, ketchup, and a little pinch of salt...those are three ingredients that I know of, but I'm lost on what the other ones are.



Anyway, the reason why I'm talking about ribs is because I spent a little bit of time at our annual RibFest celebration last night. Although I was only at RibFest for an hour and a half, the time that I did spend there was well worth it. There must have been at least two dozen food vendors there with everything from poutines to Jolly Rancher slushies (which come recommended by this blogger, might I add).

But of course, the stars of the festival were the various kiosks that served up delicious ribs, juicy pieces of chicken, and other wonderful foodstuffs. I had a hard time choosing which vendor to sample food from as every single place looked and smelled incredible. In the end, I chose to stand in the line that appeared to be the shortest, which happened to be the ribs being cooked by the team known as “Camp 31”.

THE END RESULT: Highly recommended. The ribs were absolutely delicious, and if I had brought more money with me, I would have totally gone for seconds!

But even more impressive than the food was the overall ambience of the festival. The vibe there was just impressive. Everyone there was in a really great mood, and I don't think I saw anyone there with a grimace on their face at all.

(Go figure...people will happily stand in line for twenty minutes to order and pay for ribs and chicken at a once-a-year festival, but they grumble and moan if they have to wait the same amount of time in a supermarket checkout line.)

I mean, the crowd was lively, the market booths that were there were bustling with activity (and again, had I brought more money with me, I may have actually considered buying something from them), and all in all, I'm really happy that I went down and experienced it first hand. It's not very often that I get the opportunity to partake in RibFest (this is the first year in a long time that I've actually been off the weekend it's held), so for me this was extra special.

So, I'm sure you're wondering what barbecued ribs have to do with the Sunday Jukebox. Well...not a lot, really. But I will state that while I was there, there was a song that was playing in the background that kind of fits the mood I felt back in the days in which I was – shall we say – less willing to go to a crowded public place. Therefore, I thought it was only fitting to make that song the “Sunday Jukebox” song for today.



Have you ever heard of a man by the name of Nik Kershaw? The British-born singer-songwriter (who is absolutely no relation to country singer Sammy Kershaw) was born on March 1, 1958 in Bristol, England, and over the course of his fifty-five years on this planet has done quite a lot of work within the music industry. He's released eight studio albums, and has collaborated with other musical artists such as Michael W. Smith, Kim Wilde, and Elton John.

TRIVIA: If you've ever heard Elton John's 1985 hit, “Nikita”, Nik Kershaw sings backing vocals and plays the electric guitar on that track. Not that we're featuring “Nikita” in this space, it's just a cool little piece of trivia that I found interesting.

However, here's the thing with Nik Kershaw. Many people in North America might not know who he is. In the United Kingdom, he's had several Top 10 hits and spent a record breaking sixty-two weeks on the UK charts with his various single releases...but in the United States, he probably would best be described as a one-hit-wonder.

And to me that is a real shame because I am a huge fan of his stuff from the 1980s.

At the peak of his popularity, Nik Kershaw was considered to be one of the greatest artists to come out of the New Wave movement. Sure, “Duran Duran” and “Tears for Fears” had greater success in North America, but Nik Kershaw did his best to hold his own in an already competitive market.



And in 1984, his moment in the sun came with the release of this single, the second from his debut album, “Human Racing”, and the song up for discussion today.



ARTIST: Nik Kershaw
SONG: Wouldn't It Be Good
ALBUM: Human Racing
DATE RELEASED: January 21, 1984
PEAK POSITION ON THE BILLBOARD CHARTS: #46

Yeah...just missing out on the Top 40 isn't considered to be a great track record...but in his native UK, it was a Top 5 hit. So, all in all, it balanced out.

First things first, let's talk about the music video. What a strange one it is, isn't it? With Nik's super Clorox coloured business suit projecting images upon it as he sings each lyric, and people staring at him and singing his own song back to him as he cowers in fear, and then appearing to disintegrate upon seeing laser beams shooting out of a satellite dish. Who exactly is Nik? A confused human, or a space alien, or just some twenty-something man who purposely came up with a confusing video to make people talk about it around the water coolers at work?

(Actually, if you're looking for a weird Nik Kershaw video, search out the one he filmed for his 1984 single “The Riddle”. That one trumps “Wouldn't It Be Good” for its weirdness alone.)

Secondly, this song is one that you've likely heard in some of the most interesting places. Take the 1986 film “Pretty in Pink”. Although it's not Nik singing in that version, a band known as the Danny Hutton Hitters released their own version for the movie soundtrack. If you've ever played the video game “Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories”, the song is played on one of the radio stations in the game. And, the song was also featured in the film “Gotcha!” from 1985 in one of the scenes.

But the main reason why I really wanted to talk about this particular song is because of the song's lyrics. The song's beautiful, well-crafted, thoughtful lyrics penned by Kershaw himself.

(That's one of the main reasons why I'm disappointed that Nik Kershaw didn't have more of a following in North America. His songs are certainly a lot more poignant and passionate than some of the songs that pass as Top 40 hits in 2013. But that's another rant altogether.)

If you've listened closely to the lyrics, the whole song is sung in the perspective of a man who is not exactly in the best place in his life. He keeps talking about all of his problems, and how he feels about them. He's sick of fighting life every step of the way, and he's sick of feeling this way. He talks about how the struggle to keep his life and soul together is incredibly hard and getting harder each day, and how is spirit is completely broken.

Wow...I don't know what happened to this guy, but for him to look at life in such a bleak manner, it had to have been something terrible.

He then takes a look at other people who seemingly are happy with their lives, and how they appear to have found the joy and passion that he simply doesn't know how to find.

And he starts to think...wouldn't it be good to be in their shoes? Even if it was for just one day?

I'll tell you something. I've had those thoughts before. Probably more than anyone else that I know. All throughout my entire childhood and early adulthood, I couldn't help but keep thinking to myself how good life would be if I were living someone else's. Most of the kids I went to school with seemed to be happy, carefree kids who found it easy to make friends, or to do well in school, or to play on sports teams, or to be able to afford the newest fashion trends or coolest new toys.

Oh, what I wouldn't have given to be one of them for once.

It really wasn't until I grew a little bit older that I saw the truth. Yeah, it might have been good to be in someone else's shoes and experience never being bullied, or never having to worry about money ever again. But as we quickly learn in our lives, sometimes the people who have it all are often the ones who are suffering the most. It may appear that a couple is living a wealthy life with money to burn, but you might not realize that they've spent a lot of money trying to have a child, with each one of those attempts being unsuccessful. You might be jealous of a star football player getting all the girls, only to realize that football player has a really horrific home life where he is constantly bullied by his own father. You might want to trade places with a man who has everything he could ever want in the world, only to realize that man would trade places with you in a heartbeat because you have a wonderful support system at home, and he's all alone in the world.

But you know something? I'm at the point in my life where I'm in a very good place right now. Do I wish that things could be better? Absolutely. There's some things in my life that are incomplete and I'm trying to get all the pieces assembled so I can have the best possible life for myself. But, I'm at the stage now where I would never wish to be anyone else. It's good to be yourself.


And this is coming from someone who never could admit that until now.  

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Princess Toadstool - A Frustrating Peach of a Gal

Okay, so for whatever reason, I decided to change the colour of the font to this peachy-orange colour today. There is a reason behind it, which I'm sure you may already know because of what the title of the blog is. But, we'll get to why this is a little bit later. But first, I want to tell you a little bit of a story that is kind of related to the Saturday Smorgasbord topic for today. Considering that the second Saturday of the month is being devoted to video games, it has a lot to do with that.

And, apologies to all. I know I featured a Mario game last month. This month, I'll be doing a feature on a Mario character. But don't worry, I'll have another subject planned for September. I just really wanted to do a blog entry on this person because I have a lot to say about them.

Okay, so as some of you who have been following this blog entry know, I've spent the last...oh...five weeks working in the electronics section of a retail chain. There have been some really good days, and there have been some really bad days. But it's all a balancing act. As long as that balance is kept, I more or less do okay.

There are some electronic devices that I have absolutely no idea what they do, or how they work, and I always have to seek out assistance from other people. A perfect example is the cellular phone section. I actually don't own an iPhone, or any sort of cell phone aside from a pay-as-you-go model that I hardly ever use. Don't even ask me about how they work, as I am still learning.

Now, if you ask me about video games and video game systems...I am the man for the job. Growing up around video games, arcades, and hand held electronic games, I'm quite knowledgeable in the gaming world. I do more than sell games. I offer recommendations, I show people how to download games from the Nintendo eShop, and I can tell people what the difference is between the XBOX Kinect and a standard XBOX 360.

The one thing that kind of shocks me about the video game section that I work in is the vast amount of games out there that are rated “M”. And, it seems to me that in my experience of working in electronics, I've sold more “M” rated games than any of the other ratings combined. And, for the life of me, I can't understand why there are so many.

I mean, this is just going to be my honest opinion here, and I know that I'm going to incur the wrath of teenagers all over the world by admitting this in print, but one thing that I wanted this blog to be is my true voice. What you see here is what you get with me. So, I'm just gonna come out with it.

The so-called “M” rated games that are the most popular bore me to tears.

There are, of course, some exceptions. If the video game has a decent plot and serves a purpose, I'm okay with playing a game regardless of what its rating is. And, I'll be one to admit that I don't mind the “Grand Theft Auto” series, though it's really less about the gameplay and more about the fact that the series uses actual songs by actual artists as the soundtrack of the game. I always thought it was kind of cool in a macabre way to listen to authentic 1980s music as you smash into other cars on the road.

But the vast majority of the “M” rated games that I've played just didn't interest me. I know that the “Call of Duty” series is insanely big right now, but the ones I played just didn't interest me at all. I am not a fan of shoot-em-up games. I never really have been. I tend to prefer games which involve a lot of problem solving and challenges. Games that really allow a person to use their brains to get through to the next level.



One game that I've recently rediscovered is “Super Mario 64”. It was a game that was originally released for the Nintendo 64 system way back in 1996. It was also remade and re-released for the Nintendo DS in 2004 (which is the version that I am currently playing). And it is so much fun!

The game (which is rated “E” for everyone) sounds like a simple one. You control Mario (or Luigi, Wario, or Yoshi in the Nintendo DS version) through a three dimensional world collecting stars hidden throughout each level. With each star you collect, you get one step closer to confronting Bowser and winning the game. The trick is that some stars require a lot of planning and thinking in order to get them, which adds to the fun. Some of my most favourite games in the world are the ones that require a lot of thinking and planning. And certainly the Mario series of games for the Nintendo fit this criteria. Nearly every single Mario game that I have played has had challenged me, and prompted me to seek out every single secret that could be found within the game. To me, finding the final star in a castle was much more fulfilling than running over a group of pedestrians in a stolen car while shooting at mobsters walking down a city street.

But again, that's just me, I suppose.

Right from the very beginning of the Super Mario series (with the 1985 game Super Mario Brothers) right up to the recent release of The New Super Mario Brothers 2 video game for the Nintendo 3DS in 2012, I have always loved the challenges and the secrets of the games. Secret 1-UP blocks, hidden warp whistles, discovering the elusive blue coloured Yoshi...that was fun to me. In fact, the Mario sidequests were often more fun than the ultimate goal in nearly all of the Mario games that I have played.

And this is where the blog takes its rather...dire turn.

Now, just going back to Super Mario 64 for a quick second, I was talking about the sidequests of the game. The real goal of the game is to go into the castle, defeat Bowser, and rescue a certain princess.

A princess who for whatever reason is a complete moron who allows herself to be kidnapped in practically every single Mario game ever invented.



This is the story of Princess Toadstool. And yes, I am calling her Princess Toadstool for this one. I know that the “cool kids” call her Princess Peach now, but I never really cared for that name. It just seems like a stereotypical weak name for an already perceived weak character. Or maybe it's because she was known as Princess Toadstool when I began playing Mario games, and the name just kind of stuck. Or, maybe it's simply because I cannot stomach eating peaches or anything peach flavoured. I don't know.

Whatever the case, let's talk about Princess TOADSTOOL.



It all began in 1985, with the release of the Nintendo Entertainment System and a game that reinvigorated the video gaming industry – Super Mario Brothers. The game featured Goombas, warp pipes, that 1-UP trick in Level 3-1 using a staircase and Koopa Troopas. All good times. There was just one little thing that was frustrating. Every fourth level of each world was a castle level, and in those castles, you had to fight Bowser a total of eight times while dodging lava pits, fireballs, and other traps. The main goal was to rescue Toadstool from Bowser's clutches, but whenever you got through the first seven castles, you would be greeted with this message.



And, this fueled my intense hatred for Toad. But that's a different story altogether.

Anyway, Mario went through a lot of stuff to try and save the life of Princess Toadstool. He dodged Bullet Bills, jumped across bottomless pits, swam with the Cheep Cheeps (I still LOATHE water levels to this day), and attacked Bowser a total of eight times all to save the life of the princess who rewarded Mario with a kiss. The end. Happily ever after.



That is until Bowser somehow ended up with seven kids, and Princess Toadstool allowed herself to get kidnapped again in Super Mario 3. This prompted Mario to go through the deserts, oceans, pipe mazes and through the clouds to rescue Princess Toadstool all over again.



Until she was kidnapped again in Super Mario World, Super Mario 64, The New Super Mario Brothers, etc...

Like, seriously. How stupid is Princess Toadstool? Honestly?

Has she not learned her lesson from the days in which Tears for Fears topped the charts and when The Cosby Show and Magnum P.I. were the top rated shows? You would have thought that she would have installed a security system inside that huge castle of hers, or hired a bodyguard, or at the very least taken some tae kwon do lessons!

I mean, it's almost as if she enjoys the attention that Mario and Luigi give her every time she gets kidnapped by Bowser and his minions! Her constant “I'm a damsel in distress and I need rescuing” was cute the first three or four games, but after that, it really made her look like a complete fool and the most useless game character in the whole world of Nintendo. Even more useless than TOAD, if you can believe it.

Unless of course, she's arranged with Bowser to kidnap her periodically, paying him off in gold coins and fire flowers, so that Mario and Luigi would grow to appreciate her more and more with each kidnapping attempt. If that were the case, then kudos to her for such a devious scheme. But, let's have a dose of reality here. She calls herself Peach. She's way too sweet and innocent to come up with a plot that would make Machiavelli beam with pride.



So, we go back to my original thought. Princess Toadstool is the most useless and weak video game character to ever be pixelated and the only reason why she exists is to make Mario walk through hell just to prove his love to her. When it's described like that, it kind of paints Toadstool in a rather negative light.

So, let's try to redeem her in some manner using other Mario games, shall we? Let's begin with Super Mario 2 from 1988 (which is actually a game called Doki Doki Panic which has Mario heads on the original characters, but that's not the point).



For the first time (but not the last) in Mario history, Princess Toadstool is a playable character. And as far as I am concerned, she's a fairly solid choice in certain areas. Granted, she's the weakest one to dig holes in the sand, and she's not exactly the most agile. Still, her ability to use her pink dress as a way to levitate across huge chasms is a godsend in areas where you need to do a lot of jumping. And that's a huge argument towards her actually serving more of a purpose than being locked away in a castle by an overweight tortoise.



She also redeemed herself in the Super Mario Kart series. Apparently during her frequent periods of captivity, Princess Toadstool learned how to drive a go-kart. I suppose she'd have to do something in between the periods of boredom that one would experience waiting for the moustached plumber beau to come and save them.

The funny thing about Princess Toadstool is that she was also a rather solid choice when it came to racing her on the various race tracks. Granted, I almost always choose Yoshi to play with in the Super Mario Kart games, but I'm not against using Toadstool. As long as she doesn't hit anything along the way, she accelerates rather nicely, and she is one of the better racers to use if attempting really tight turns.

In fact, I'm just gonna come right out and say it. In my personal opinion, Princess Toadstool is a BETTER DRIVER than Mario!

And, if you've ever played any of the installments of Mario Party, Princess Toadstool is a playable character in every single game. Of course, the abilities of Princess Toadstool in the Mario Party games is largely linked to how skilled a gamer the player is, so that might not be the best example.

So, as you can see, there's some examples where Princess Toadstool has exhibited greatness. Unfortunately, I don't think it's enough for her to really overcome her reputation of being “easy to kidnap and imprison”. She's been locked in a tower more than Lindsay Lohan has been checked into rehab. That's saying something.

And to end off this note as to how frustrating a character Princess Toadstool is, I'm going to provide one more game example. And this is a game in which Toadstool starts off being in peril, but becomes a hero. Yet, the way the game went about this transformation is absolutely maddening, and by the end of the game, it didn't really do much to change my opinion of her in a positive or negative manner.



The game is Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars. It was one of the final Super Nintendo games to be released, launched just in time for the 1996 Christmas season. I know this because it was my “big gift” for Christmas 1996, and I played it constantly.

The game starts off the same way that all of the other Mario games have ended. Mario storms Bowser's castle to rescue Princess Toadstool from his clutches for what seems like the 518th time. But just before Mario can grab Princess Toadstool and escape, something strange happens. A gigantic sword pierces through the sky, smashes through the top of Bowser's castle sending Mario, Bowser, and Toadstool sailing through the sky, and on top of that, the seven stars that grant wishes to the entire Mushroom Kingdom have been scattered throughout the world, causing a chain reaction that prevents wishes from coming true.

So, the new mission for Mario becomes this. Find Princess Toadstool and find all the stars necessary to make wishes come true again.

Mind you, the task to find Princess Toadstool lasts practically half the game. Granted, you get help from Mallow, Geno, and surprisingly enough Bowser (who is only tagging along to get his castle back) along the way. But when you finally locate Princess Toadstool, she's apparently gotten herself into another jam. She gets trapped in a tower by some ugly looking creature named Booster, and Booster's plan is to get married to Princess Toadstool so that he can experience the fun of having a wedding.

Mind you, Booster is so dumb (or possibly sheltered) that he doesn't even know what a wedding is. The only think that he seems to get is that at the end of the ceremony, you eat cake.

So, needless to say, Mario and the gang storm Booster's Tower, battle his minions, and end up chasing him and the princess all the way to Marrymore, a place where people exchange vows and eat cake. Or, so Booster says.



At any rate, Mario saves the princess from Booster, and stops the wedding from taking place (which concludes with fighting the wedding cake, which was just all kinds of weirdness, but I digress), and Princess Toadstool finally becomes a playable character.



Granted, as a playable character, her offense is quite...well...weak. Her weapons are umbrellas, scepters, and fans. Not exactly as effective as Mario's hammers and shells, Geno's star guns, and Bowser's chain chomps. But, what she lacks in attack power, she more than makes up for in magical power. She's kind of equivalent to a white mage in the Final Fantasy series in that she's your healer. She restores lost health, protects against status changes, and she can even bring a character back to life! It's one reason why I like using her in the final battles.

(My ideal team for the game is Mario, Geno, Toadstool. Not that this means anything to all of you...this is just the team that works the best for me.)

So, at the end of it all, Princess Toadstool is again, a solid choice as a playable character. When she's not locked up by Bowser, or Booster, or any other enemy, she's definitely someone you want on your side.

I just wish Nintendo would give her more of a chance to shine. Maybe we could even have a Super Princess Toadstool game, where she actually goes out on a quest to save Mario from Bowser.


I mean, if Samus Aran from Metroid, Dixie Kong from Donkey Kong Country 2 and 3, and countless female warriors from the Final Fantasy series can hold their own in a male dominated gaming world, surely Princess Toadstool is capable of standing up for herself as the strong woman she should be and not the helpless princess everyone else sees her as.