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Tuesday, October 22, 2013

October 22, 1926

This week's edition of the Tuesday Timeline was especially hard to come up with a decent topic for...mainly because I wanted to come up with a very spooky topic, but had great difficulty finding one. So, I decided to improvise a little bit with this entry. Hopefully you like the topic choice I made, as well as the way that I decided to present it. Believe me, it was definitely a challenge.

But before we get to today's Tuesday Timeline selection, let's see what else was on the short list of the other topics I considered. What happened on this date in history? Well, lots of things. Nothing too scary, mind you. But a lot of things.

362 – The temple of Apollo at Daphne, outside Antioch, is destroyed by fire

1633 – The Ming dynasty defeats the Dutch East India Company in the Battle of Southern Fujian Sea

1746 – The College of New Jersey (later rechristened as Princeton University) receives its charter

1797 – Andre-Jacques Garnerin makes the first recorded parachute jump over Paris from a height of over three thousand feet

1875 – The first telegraphic connection is made in Argentina

1878 – The first rugby match under floodlights takes place in the English community of Salford

1879 – Thomas Edison tests the first practical electric incandescent light bulb (which glows brightly for thirteen and a half hours before burning out)

1883 – The Metropolitan Opera House in New York opens for the first time

1903 – Three Stooges actor Curly Howard (d. 1952) is born in Brooklyn, New York

1907 – The Panic of 1907 takes place which involves the stock market and the Knickerbocker Trust Company – resulting in a depression

1924 – Toastmasters International is founded by Ralph C. Smedley in Santa Ana, California

1934 – The FBI shoot and kill notorious bank robber Pretty Boy Floyd in Ohio

1941 – French resistance member Guy Moquet is executed along with twenty-nine other hostages by German forces following the death of a German officer

1942 – Former Mouseketeer Annette Funicello (d. 2013) is born in Utica, New York

1957 – The first American casualties of the Vietnam War are reported

1962 – John F. Kennedy announces that American planes have discovered that Soviet nuclear weapons are being housed in Cuba, leading to a naval quarantine

1964 – Jean-Paul Sartre turns down the Nobel Peace Prize for Literature

1966 – The Supremes become the first all-girl group to have a number one album on the charts

1976 – The United States Food and Drug Administration bans the use of Red Dye No. 4 after tests showed that the dye caused tumours in the bladders of dogs

1978 – The papal inauguration of Pope John Paul II

2005 – 2005 officially becomes the most active Atlantic Hurricane Season following the formation of Tropical Storm Alpha

2009 – Comedian Soupy Sales dies at the age of 83 in The Bronx, New York

October 22 seems to be a day in which a lot of celebrities were born. So, allow me to wish Doris Lessing, Ann Rule, Derek Jacobi, Christopher Lloyd, Catherine Deneuve, Yvan Ponton, Deepak Chopra, Richard McGonagle, Jeff Goldblum, Robert Torti, Brian Boitano, John Wesley Harding, Otis Smith, Carlos Mencia, Shaggy, Jay Johnston, Shelby Lynne, Spike Jonze, Amy Redford, Saffron Burrows, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Dion Glover, Michael Fishman, Zac Hanson, and Jonathan Lipnicki.

And, just to make all of you feel incredibly old...Jonathan Lipnicki – who you probably know as the little kid from Jerry Maguire – turns 23 today. I know, shocking, right?

But, as great as Lipnicki was in that film, I didn't choose him as the topic of today's blog. In fact, we're going to a date before he, I, and likely 99.9% of you reading this right now were born. And, while the event that I'll be talking about is like the least significant event ever...it did lead to a really huge event a few days later. An event which cost one man his life.

Are we nervous yet? Don't be. We're only going back in time four score and seven years ago.

(That's eighty-seven years for all of you still trying to figure that out.)



Today's date is October 22, 1926. And, again, as I state, this date was essentially the catalyst of a tragedy that would take place just nine days later, on Halloween.

But I'm getting ahead of myself here. First I want to tell you what prompted me to choose today's date.

As I stated before, I really wanted to keep the Tuesday Timeline freaky, macabre, and horrific for the month of October, but try as I might, I just couldn't find anything that was scary enough to devote an entire blog topic to.

As a result, I thought about taking a different approach. Everyone has heard of the three most said words spoken on Halloween, right? Trick or treat?

So I said to myself, “Self, why don't I do a blog topic that focuses on tricks, rather than treats?”

And, you can't perform the perfect trick without a little bit of magic.

Now anyone who has ever been to a magic show (and I imagine most of you reading this have attended at least one in their lifetimes) knows what to expect. Depending on the level of skill the magician has, the tricks they perform may range from lame to extraordinary. If you hired some clown magician from the Yellow Pages, the tricks may come as a disappointment. But if you have ever seen magic performed by David Copperfield, Criss Angel, or David Blaine, you can't help but not be impressed – well, unless you hate magicians and magic tricks that is.

That's why for today's topic, I thought that I would focus on a person whom many consider to be one of the greatest illusionists ever born.

Born on March 24, 1874 in Budapest, our future magician was given the name Erik Weisz. He was one of seven children born to Rabbi Mayer Samuel Weisz and Cecilia Weisz. When Erik was just four years old, his family immigrated to the United States where the first of his name changes took place. The family surname became Weiss, and Erik's name was slightly modified to become Ehrich. But Ehrich's friends just called him “Harry” instead.

The family lived in the community of Appleton, Wisconsin for a time before Ehrich and his father relocated to New York City when Ehrich was nine (the rest of the family would join him once Rabbi Weisz found permanent housing for all of them). It was in New York City that young Ehrich began to entertain the possibility of, well, entertaining people. He got his start as a trapeze artist at the age of nine, and began to develop a love of all things magic. And it was right around this time that the second of his name changes took place.



Although the story of how he ended up with his stage name varied depending on the source. He either named himself after magician Harry Kellar, or he named himself after Jean-Eugene Robert Houdin. Either way, Ehrich Weiss soon became known professionally as “Harry Houdini”. And Houdini would later become one of the world's premier magicians.

Of course, Houdini had to start at the very bottom. He began his career in 1891, when he was just seventeen years old. His act comprised of mostly card tricks at that time. In 1893, he and his brother Theodore (nicknamed “Dash”) began performing at Coney Island as “The Brothers Houdini”, and it was at one of these performances that he met his future wife, Wilhelmina Beatrice “Bess” Rahner. A year later, Houdini and Rahner married, and she took Dash's place in the act.



In 1899, Houdini was discovered by manager Martin Beck after Beck was impressed by Houdini's handcuffs act – an act in which Houdini demonstrated that he could escape any set of handcuffs that were strapped onto him. Beck advised Houdini to drop the card tricks and focus on escape magic to continue to build his audience. He was booked solidly on the Orpheum vaudeville circuit and by the turn of the century, he was already getting booked at some of the top vaudeville houses all over the country. He even began taking his handcuffs act all over the world, performing in various cities all over the world, challenging local officers to lock him up in jail, promising that he could find a way out. Certainly, Houdini was challenged by naysayers and disbelievers, and in one instance, he actually launched lawsuits against someone who accused him of bribing people to make his tricks happen. Houdini ended up winning that suit after he successfully opened the judge's safe in the courtroom – or, so the story goes, anyway.



But the tricks and illusions that made Houdini a star were elaborate productions that likely inspired Copperfield and Blaine to become magicians themselves. Everyone knows about the famous 1912 “Chinese Water Torture Cell” act, where Houdini would be strapped inside metal stocks and then dunked inside a glass cell that was filled with water. The trick would become a staple in Houdini's act for the rest of his life, and is easily his most well-known (and most duplicated) trick. But he also had other tricks in his arsenal, including the Milk Can Escape, the Mirror Challenge, the Overboard Box Escape, and a couple of adaptations of the “Buried Alive” stunt.

In all cases, people were genuinely worried that Houdini would accidentally kill himself doing one of his escape illusions, and some were expecting to read the news about Houdini passing away as a result of a trick gone wrong. But Houdini always made sure to take the proper safety precautions in every single one of his illusions.

But in the end, all it took was one punch for Houdini's career to take a sudden, permanent halt.

And, that's where today's Tuesday Timeline date comes into play. October 22, 1926 was the beginning of the end for Harry Houdini.

On that date, Houdini was performing in Montreal, Quebec, Canada, at the Princess Theatre. And it was here that the final nail in Houdini's coffin was delivered.

But to be fair, it was nobody's intent to see Harry Houdini die. It was simply a freak accident brought upon by a myth that one fan of Houdini's believed.

Inside of Houdini's dressing room at the Princess, Houdini was greeted by a student of McGill University, J. Gordon Whitehead. Whitehead had arrived with fellow students Jacques Price and Sam Smilovitz to meet with the magician when Whitehead reportedly asked Houdini a rather strange request.

Having heard that Houdini was able to withstand repeated punches in his stomach, Whitehead actually asked Houdini if he could punch him to see if what he had heard was true!

And, believe it or not, Houdini offered his consent!

So, Whitehead delivered a series of quick blows to Houdini's abdomen before Houdini cried uncle and made Whitehead stop. As the eyewitnesses later explained, Houdini had actually winced in pain with each punch. At the time, Houdini was also reclined on a sofa inside of the dressing room with his ankle bandaged up after he had broken it during a previous performance. This likely caused more pain for Houdini as the broken ankle made it nearly impossible for him to safely brace himself.

That evening, Houdini performed at Montreal's Princess Theatre as planned, but he was in excruciating pain the whole time. Still, Houdini had the belief that the show always went on, so he pressed through the pain.

Over the next two days, Houdini could not sleep because the pain was too great, but he didn't seek any medical treatment for his ailment. But after two days, Houdini did visit a doctor who told him that he had been diagnosed with appendicitis (brought upon by the punches that he received two days earlier), but although the doctor advised him to admit himself into the hospital so that they could remove his appendix, a stubborn Houdini refused. The people of Detroit, Michigan were waiting for him to perform, and he didn't want to let them down.

That night, Houdini performed what would be his last performance ever. And it was not a good night for him at all. With a fever of 104 degrees and him being in constant pain, I honestly don't know how he could have lasted an entire performance. He even reportedly passed out from pain in the middle of the show, and yet he still insisted on finishing the show. Immediately after the conclusion of the show, Houdini was rushed to hospital in Detroit...but it was too late.

One week later, on October 31, 1926, Harry Houdini was dead at the age of 52. The cause of death? Peritonitis caused by a ruptured appendix...which was caused by the series of blows delivered by a McGill student nine days earlier on October 22.



Houdini was survived by his wife Bess – who would pass away in 1943 of a heart attack – and when his funeral was held in November 1926, reportedly 2,000 mourners were in attendance – showing the real impact that Houdini had on everybody.

The real tragedy in all of this is that a series of unfortunate accidents lead to the tragedy. Had Houdini not broken his ankle, he might have been able to better protect himself against the blows. Had Houdini told Whitehead not to punch him in the stomach, he most certainly would have lived beyond 1926. Had Houdini not been so stubborn and got his appendix taken out before it killed him, he would have lived many more years.

It's almost kind of ironic in a way that a man who reportedly risked his life to perform death-defying stunts and illusions would be brought down by a single series of punches to the gut.


And that deathblow was delivered on October 22, 1926.

Monday, October 21, 2013

Ernest Scared Stupid

One of my favourite things to do as a child was to go to the movie theatre and watch a movie.  Ever since I was four years old and watched my very first movie on the big screen (which embarrassingly for me was "The Care Bears Movie"), I always loved going to the cinema, buying a movie ticket, grabbing the largest size popcorn bucket that I could (making sure that the concessions clerk put extra butter on every possible kernel), and watching magic happen on the big screen.

Unfortunately, with the way the movie industry is these days, there's really not a lot out there that I would actually justify paying the cost of admission to go out and see.  Maybe it's just the lack of originality these days, or maybe it's just the fact that I'm not interested in seeing a seventh installment of the "Fast and Furious" film series, but I don't find going to the movies as much fun anymore as I did when I was a kid.

Of course, it's all subjective.  What I might deem excellent, others might find cheesy and corny.  And what others might deem as Oscar worthy, I might want to shower it with Golden Raspberry Awards.

Now, here's a question for you all.  Do you remember what movies you watched in the theatres as a child or teenager?  Surprisingly enough, I do.  And in a lot of the cases, those movies ended up becoming some of my all-time favourites.

I mean, it's pretty difficult to hate on a classic Disney film.  I remember seeing both "Bambi" and "Cinderella" in the movie theatre when both were re-released for a limited time (before Disney started to transfer their movies onto VHS/DVD/Blu-Ray), and loved them both.  I also remember watching "Twister", which was definitely a movie that you had to watch on the big screen with surround sound!  I still remember the day that I took my niece and three nephews to the movies to watch "Wall-E", which surprisingly went well, given that everyone was fourteen and under when we went and saw it.

I also remember watching "The Simpsons Movie", "The Santa Clause", and "Mrs. Doubtfire" in theatres, and having positive reactions to all of those movies.  And, I must have liked the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles a lot because I not only saw all three movies in the cinema, but I saw the first film of the series twice - one of which was the screening that tied my Ninja Turtle themed ninth birthday party together in a nice green bow!

But I have to be completely honest with all of you.  Some of the films that I remember watching in the movie theatre have not aged well at all.  Some of the movies that I really loved and enjoyed watching as a kid are the same movies that I don't particularly enjoy at all as an adult.

I remember being so excited when I learned that "Honey, I Shrunk The Kids" was getting a sequel, and I actually remember cleaning out my junior savings account just so I could watch "Honey, I Blew Up The Kid".  And then once I got to the movie and watched the whole thing, I left very disappointed.  Enlarging a toddler just wasn't as interesting as shrinking four teenagers and throwing them into a backyard.

Don't even get me started on "Freddy Got Fingered".  It remains the only movie that I have ever walked out of.  I don't know what Tom Green was thinking when he made that stinker, but it was foul.

Oh, and there's a certain series of films that starred the late Jim Varney in which I happen to have a love-hate relationship with.



Of course, everybody knows the role that made Jim Varney famous.  And there have been many films that have featured his iconic character of Ernest P. Worrell - some of which were better than others.

I can't think of a single bad thing to say about 1987's "Ernest Goes To Camp".  The film remains a classic in my mind, and I could watch that one over and over again.  Sure, it's silly and unbelievable in parts, but it's got a lot of heart!

Same deal with 1988's "Ernest Saves Christmas".  That film also had a lot of heart...though I didn't find it as laugh out loud funny as its predecessor.  It was still a good film though.

But on the flipside, we have 1990's "Ernest Goes To Jail".  I went and saw it in the movie theatre when I was around nine years old.  At the time I saw the movie, I thought that it was fantastic, hilarious, and just plain funny.  So, when I saw a DVD compilation that included this movie along with two other Ernest films, well, I had to buy it!  It was only five dollars, and one of the movies was "Ernest Goes To Camp".  

But when I sat down to watch "Ernest Goes To Jail" at home some 22 years after I watched it for the first time, I didn't find it as funny.  In fact, I kind of hated it.  Unlike "Camp" and "Christmas", this movie just lacked...well...everything.  I will say that Jim Varney did a good job in the film, but everything else about it was bad.  It was a real letdown, especially since I remember loving it as a child.

But, then again...our tastes change as we grow older, right?

I think that's why I was a little hesitant to do a blog entry on the third Ernest film on the DVD collection.  It, too, was a film that I remember loving in the movie theatre.  I know that my sister and her boyfriend really wanted to go and see it, and they offered to take me along too since I was a huge Ernest P. Worrell fan as a child.  And, since it was Halloween themed, I thought that it would be a fantastic idea to watch this film and make it the topic of today's Monday Matinee.  But what if I ended up hating it like I did with "Ernest Goes To Jail"?  It would have been an absolute disaster!

Fortunately, when I fired up the DVD player and pushed play, the movie still held up, and I still liked it...even if the film itself was a box office disaster and was critically savaged.



Of course, we're talking about the film "Ernest Scared Stupid", which has Ernest and a group of children battling against gigantic trolls who are released back into a Midwestern community to cause terror to its residents.



Released in theatres on October 11, 1991, the film did poorly at the box office, only earning a total of fourteen million dollars.  Although I don't know exactly what the budget of the film was, I imagine that the realistic looking make-up designs and special effects on the troll costumes themselves meant that there wasn't a whole lot of profit.  In fact, I probably wouldn't be surprised if the film owed money at the end of shooting.  As a result of the film doing so poorly, the next four Ernest films (Ernest Rides Again, Ernest Goes To School, Ernest Goes To Africa, and Ernest In The Army) were all direct-to-video releases.

But you know what?  I have a soft spot for this film.  I don't care how critics rated it.  To me, it's a wonderful Halloween film to show to children.  Yeah, the trolls might be scary looking, but that's really about the only thing that's scary about it.

What's interesting about this Ernest film is that it begins in the small community of Briarville, Missouri in the 19th century.  A troll by the name of Trantor is chasing a little girl through a dense forest in hopes of capturing her for his ultimate plan.  At the time, he already has four children from the village captured and turned into wooden dolls.  If he can get five dolls, and have them placed inside of his lair, the energy spawned will release other trolls into the world, putting humanity at risk.  But before Trantor can get his claws on the child, the townspeople capture him, and the elder of the village - Phineas Worrell - orders Trantos to be sealed underneath an oak tree never to be heard from again.  But before Trantos is sealed away, he warns that one of Phineas' ancestors will unseal him, and he will come back to Briarville to finish the job.

Flash forward to Briarville, Missouri.  The date?  October 30, 1991 (weirdly enough, the day after my grandmother passed away).  We meet some of the kids in the town's elementary school.  There's Kenny (Austin Nagler), the son of the town sheriff.  There's Elizabeth (Shay Astar), a girl who does a report on the trolls based on legends that she researched.  There's Joey (Alec Klapper), a nerdy kid who helps Kenny and Elizabeth build a haunted house.  And, there are the sons of the Mayor of Briarville, Matt and Mike Murdock (Richard Woolf and Nick Victory), who bully Kenny, Elizabeth, and Joey every chance they get.



Oh, and then there's Ernest P. Worrell (Varney), the town garbageman who is fairly inept at his job and completely mucks everything up.  But of course, he is the descendant of Phineas Worrell - and according to Elizabeth's report, part of the curse that the troll issued against Phineas was that each of his ancestors would grow dumber and dumber.

But although Ernest is not exactly well liked by the adults of the town, Kenny, Elizabeth, and Joey like and respect him and they can often be seen hanging around him and his dog, Rimshot.




In fact, when Elizabeth, Kenny, and Joey have their haunted house destroyed by the Murdock boys, Kenny and Ernest decide to go into the woods outside of Briarville and build a treehouse.



Unfortunately, the tree the group selects happens to be the one tree where Trantos has called home for over a century.  And when longtime resident Francis "Old Lady" Hackmore (Eartha Kitt) discovers what they've done, she immediately panics.  After all, her own sister was one of the troll's victims (which leads to the question - just how old IS Old Lady Hackmore?), and she knows all too well about Trantos' last words...about how a descendant of Phineas Worrell would be responsible for unsealing him.  And the final straw came when Ernest discovers the legend of Trantos himself and actually performs the very ritual that ends up releasing the troll back into the town of Briarville.

And almost immediately, Trantos takes his revenge.

Of course, Trantos has to recapture five children all over again, and he starts by quickly nabbing Joey in the forest after he trips and falls while running out of the woods with Kenny and Elizabeth.  Shortly after, he attacks an innocent skateboarder, whom he quickly turns to a wooden statue as well.  When word gets out of Joey's disappearance, Kenny and Elizabeth run back to their treehouse where they discover a wooden statue that looks just like Joey.  They try to warn their parents and the rest of the community about the trolls, but nobody will take them seriously.

Meanwhile, Trantos is stepping up his quest to release all of his troll cousins into the world.  After all, he has to make it happen before midnight on Halloween.  On Halloween night, he happens to catch two more victims.  He sneaks into Elizabeth's bedroom and makes her victim number three.



And, then when Kenny witnesses Trantos turn a boy named Gregg (Steven Moriyon) into his fourth victim, he barely manages to escape from his clutches.  After all, if Trantos had captured Kenny, he would have been the fifth victim.

But before the night is over, Trantos will strike again at the school Halloween party, successfully capturing his fifth victim and managing to live up to his prophecy of bringing trolls back out into the world to get their ultimate revenge against the innocent citizens of Briarville.  Can Ernest and Kenny find a way to stop Trantos and rescue the other kidnapped children from his clutches?

I won't spoil the ending for all of you, but I will offer you a few clues.



See this beverage up above?  It actually doubles as a secret weapon.  Apparently a certain group of creatures have lactose issues.

Old Lady Hackmore discovers another method of fighting back against Trantos...and it involves a slice of pepperoni pizza hugging a cute little bunny rabbit (and no, I'm not making this up.  Just remember...this film takes place on Halloween).

And, let's just say that the duo of Tom and Bobby Tulip (John Cadenhead and Bill Byrge) contribute to the battle against the trolls...in their own peculiar fashion.

All in all, it's a light, fluffy film with a lot of hilarity, trolls, and dairy products.  Win-win in my books.

Sunday, October 20, 2013

Black Hole Sun

My musical tastes have best been described as...shall we say...eclectic.

If one were to sneak into my place, spot my iPod, and took it home with them to listen to it...I'd promptly call the police and report a burglary and I would be very mad at the person who stole it.

But seriously, if someone were to pick up my iPod and listen to it, they might be shocked to find that I have a lot of different genres downloaded onto it. And if one were to set my iPod onto shuffle mode, I can guarantee you that some of you might find the transitions from song to song to be quite jarring. Only on my iPod could you listen to Collective Soul, Garbage, Earth, Wind & Fire, Katy Perry, Simply Red, Badfinger, and Jody Watley in a given half hour.

But that's what my musical tastes have always been like. My iPod playlist spans six decades (1960-2013), and has a variety of styles of music. I have alternative, dancepop, Top 40, electronica, adult contemporary, soft rock, hard rock, and yes, I even have a couple of disco songs. Not many mind you (I don't really like disco all THAT much, but have a couple of guilty pleasures), but I have them.

Simultaneously, there are also a few genres that I will NEVER have on my iPod. As someone who was forced to listen to country music in his youth (as a result of my parents refusing to switch the dial to another radio station), I will probably have very few country music songs (if any) on my iPod as a sign of rebellion. Though, I'll also admit that I don't mind a few of the country/pop crossovers that seem to be in vogue. And, I do respect all of the various country artists who do perform and record albums, and wish them all the success in the world...it's just not my cup of tea.

Same deal with the idea of major heavy metal. I understand that some of you are huge fans of Metallica, Motley Crue, Korn, Cinderella (the band, not the fairy tale character), and Quiet Riot. That's cool. Again, most heavy metal is not my cup of tea...although I do like classic Bon Jovi and the occasional Twisted Sister single. Besides, I find those types of songs to be way too loud, even for me.

And I swear to all of you as long as I live...you will never, ever see a Justin Bieber song downloaded onto my iPod. Ever. I would rather download songs by “New Kids on the Block”, “Spice Girls”, or the “Backstreet Boys” onto my iPod...and to be honest, I have at least one song downloaded from each of the mentioned groups!

(I told you...my musical tastes are VERY eclectic.)

Let's see...what's another genre of music that I have a love/hate affair with?

Oh, yes...the grunge movement of 1991-1995. I know that period very well. It was during the time that I was in school between fifth and eighth grades – also known as the “junior high school years”. And what a tumultuous brand of music to listen to while I was in junior high. Certainly seemed to befit the craziness and unpredictability of that era. It was, after all, the time in which I became a teenager.

Now, I'll be perfectly honest with all of you out there. In the early 1990s, I actually didn't listen to that much music. The grunge movement took over the radio at that time, and I actually kind of got turned off by it because to me, every song sounded the same. It was one depressing lyric after another, and all the songs were quite dark in subject matter.

It was like country music, only with a lot more black, a lot less Southern accents and loud musical instruments.

It actually wasn't until I got a little bit older that I started to understand grunge music a little bit more. Admittedly when I was in my most depressed state (that would be my late teen years), I developed a bit of a grunge phase. It didn't matter that the tide had turned, and more and more people were listening to happy, over-manufactured pop songs at the time. Listening to that grunge music was surprisingly helpful. Sure, the songs were never going to be like R.E.M.'s “Shiny Happy People”, but I know that listening to songs that were very depressing told me that I was not the only one who felt that way. I imagine that a lot of the singers and songwriters of the grunge era probably wrote songs as a way to slay their own personal demons and work out their own problems in hopes of finding a way out of their depression.

Of course, in the case of Kurt Cobain, who died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound in 1994, clearly the combination of depression and drug use proved lethal. But other grunge acts have managed to survive and thrive – well, at least until they broke up.

I'll admit that I listened to Smashing Pumpkins, Pearl Jam, Hole, and occasionally the odd Nirvana song in my youth.

But there was one song by a certain group that although I liked the song very much, I hated the music video that accompanied it. It was several shades of creepiness, weirdness, and just plain eerie. Of course as I grew older, I grew to appreciate the music video and think that it was a good one – even though it still gives me the creeps.

But look at it this way...at least the video gives me the excuse to make this song the topic for the Sunday Jukebox. After all, the theme for this month is creepy music videos, right?



ARTIST: Soundgarden
SONG: Black Hole Sun
ALBUM: Superunknown
DATE RELEASED: May 17, 1994
PEAK POSITION ON THE BILLBOARD CHARTS: #24



Okay, so here's the deal with Soundgarden. The band itself formed in the birthplace of grunge music – Seattle, Washington – in 1984. The original line-up was Chris Cornell, Kim Thayil, and Hiro Yamamoto. As time progressed, Yamamoto would leave the band and Ben Shepherd would join the group in 1990, and Matt Cameron also joined the band in 1986.

It really wasn't until the 1990s, however, until Soundgarden became a huge name in the world of music. Though the band released five albums between 1988 and 1996, it wasn't until the band released their fourth album – 1994's “Superunknown” - that people really began to take notice.

Let's just talk a little bit about the statistics of “Superunknown”, shall we? The album was really the second grunge inspired album that the band released (the first was 1991's “Badmotorfinger”), and its appearance on store shelves could not have come at a better or more timely instance. After all, 1994 was the peak of the grunge movement. The “Superunknown” album was very well received by fans and critics, and even won a couple of Grammy Awards for the effort!

Unfortunately, due to creative differences between the band, the group split up in 1997. But after a thirteen year hiatus, the band got back together again and are still touring around the United States today.

And one of the reasons why “Superunknown” performed so well was because of the single “Black Hole Sun”. Although the song only managed to make the Top 30 on the Billboard charts, it did top the charts on the US Mainstream Rock Tracks.



The song was written by Soundgarden lead singer Cornell, who has admitted that writing the song did not take long at all. He estimates that it took him just fifteen minutes to compose the song in its entirety – which I admit I find incredible. Interestingly enough, Cornell wrote the song with very low expectations! He was so sure that he would be the only one that liked it. He didn't even believe that his fellow bandmates would give “Black Hole Sun” their seal of approval.

And yet it became one of 1994's most memorable songs. Go figure.

But here's the biggest misconception of the song. When “Black Hole Sun” was first released, a common thought was that the song offered a positive message. And certainly with the chorus being “Black Hole Sun, won't you come and wash away the rain”, it does suggest the idea of sunshine eliminating depression.

But wait...that's not what Cornell envisioned at all for this song. And if his explanation is to be believed, the song is actually a lot darker than anyone initially intended. I think this quotation from Cornell from a January 1995 interview published in Rolling Stone Magazine says it best;

It's really difficult for a person to create their own life and their own freedom. It's going to become more and more difficult, and it's going to create more and more disillusioned people who become dishonest and angry and are willing to f@#$ the next guy to get what they want. There's so much stepping on the backs of other people in our profession. We've been so lucky that we've never had to do that. Part of it was because of our own tenacity, and part of it was because we were lucky.”

How's that for dark and depressing? Although, I can definitely see why the song did so well and resonated with so many people (including me). After all, we have all felt as though we have been screwed over by someone who we never expected would hurt us. I know I certainly have. But, at the same time, those painful experiences are learning experiences for all of us, and I know that having those experiences have helped me deal with people a lot better. Mind you, I'm extremely guarded when it comes to meeting new people, but I imagine that in time, those walls will give way.

At least, I hope so.

So, let's talk about the music video here for a second. The music video which is absolutely creepy as hell and has some of the most disturbing imagery of all time.

And to think that the source of all this destructive imagery is...a suburban neighbourhood?

Meh...makes sense. Some of the neighbours in my neighbourhood are kind of creepy, weird, and nasty. But don't let them know I said so.



Okay, so at first, the neighbourhood seems like a rather typical white bread suburbia neighbourhood. It's filled with kids jumping rope, men mowing their lawns, women preparing dinner. It's basically as if Soundgarden went back in time to the 1960s...only with a twist.




You notice all of the creepy smiles on all the faces of the people in the neighbourhood? How they almost seem clown-like? How their smiles are so plastered on it makes Barney the Dinosaur seem manic-depressive in comparison?


And, maybe it's just me, but doesn't that jump rope girl kind of look like Kimmy Gibbler from “Full House”?

Oh, and there's lovely images of a Barbie doll being roasted over a Barbie to the point in which her plastic body melts all over the charcoal at the bottom.

But then the real fun comes at the end of the video. Something dark and horrific appears in the sky accompanied with lighting, strong wind, and dark clouds. Is it a tornado? A hurricane? A tsunami?

Nope. It's a black hole. A black hole appearing in the sunny community down below, sucking up all of the creepy people and sending them into parts unknown!

How's that for apocalyptic irony? People meeting their ultimate fates in a place where they felt most safe.

Doesn't that sound like the ultimate fear? Is it any wonder why I chose this song to spotlight in the scary Sunday Jukebox month?


Will I ever stop asking questions in this blog piece?

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Galaxy High

Today's entry in the blog combines two very different topics.  One topic, I absolutely loved...the other I couldn't stand.  But by blending both of them together into a nice thick mix, the two contrasting parts become one blended beauty filled with thirteen servings of animated fun and laughs.

The two parts that make up this whole are Saturday Morning Cartoons of the 1980s (yay) and high school (nay).  

Now, as far as my dislike of high school goes...well, you already know how I feel about that.  I won't talk about it here in today's blog because most of you have heard that story before.  

But Saturday Morning Cartoons of the 1980s?  Now we're talking.

I was born during the early 1980s, and as a result, I got more than a taste of the wonderful creative period known as the 1980s.  It truly was a great time to be a kid.  I must have planned my entire schedule so that I could watch every single cartoon ever made.  

Fortunately, with only three networks to choose from (my family didn't sign up for cable television until 1988), it made it quite easy to watch every single cartoon with my foolproof schedule.  From September to December, I'd watch CBS.  Then from January until April, I'd watch NBC, and from May to August, I would watch ABC.  I tell you, I put a lot of time into making sure I got the most of every single Saturday Morning Cartoon schedule.  

But, lest you think that cartoons were all that I cared about as a kid, I should also mention that I made sure that my homework was completed, and once the cartoons ended for the day, I was promptly shooed outside to play.

I mean, if you were lucky enough to be a kid during the 1980s as I was, you know exactly what I am talking about.  And in a world in which Saturday Morning Cartoons airing on major networks seemingly is a thing of the past, I'll always treasure those memories forever.

Now, I'll admit that I was a huge fan of the long running shows that aired on Saturday Mornings.  Shows like "Alvin and the Chipmunks", "The Smurfs", "Muppet Babies", and "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" were almost always on at my house.  But I have a confession to make.  Some of my all-time favourite cartoons were shows that only aired for one season.  Unlike most sitcoms and drama series, a standard cartoon serial only ran for thirteen episodes (approximately a little over half the episodes of a standard sitcom).  And I think that one of the main reasons why I love the one-season wonders so much is because they were here one moment and gone the next.  

And it wasn't necessarily because of the fact that a lot of them were bad shows.  A lot of them were very good.  They just weren't given a fair shot.

I'm just going to put it out there.  I bet most of you don't remember one-season wonders such as "Heathcliff", "Rude Dog and the Dweebs", "Dink the Little Dinosaur", and "The New Archies", and many of you might not even like those cartoons.  But those were some of the shows that I enjoyed as a kid, and would still enjoy today if they were airing on television today.

And then there's today's blog topic which combines animation with high school...and as it so happens, the setting happens to be a high school that its students would rank as being out of this world.

Seriously, the high school happens to be in outer space.



It's a show called "Galaxy High", and it happens to have one of the most unique and interesting theme songs that I remember hearing for a cartoon.  I think that's how come I was immediately drawn to the show as a then five-year-old boy.  Have a listen for yourselves.

Okay, so by today's standards, it sounds extremely dated.  In the 1980s, this was considered cutting edge.



The show itself only ran for thirteen episodes between September 13, 1986 to December 6, 1986, after which it continued airing in reruns until September 1987.  And fun fact for all of you reading this.  The series was created by Chris Columbus - the director behind such films as "Home Alone" and the first two movies of the Harry Potter film series.  And another fun fact.  The theme song itself was composed by Don Felder, a member of The Eagles!

Now, I'll admit that when I first watched this show, I was a kid hyped up on the sugary sweet goodness of Frosted Flakes and Lucky Charms.  I remember vividly what all the characters looked like, but couldn't really remember what the show was all about until I started watching random episodes of the show on video sharing sites.  And after watching about six of the episodes, I think that I can talk about who some of the characters are, and what made this show so unique.



So, here's how it all began.  You have two typical American high school students who could not be more different.  You have star athlete Doyle Cleverlobe.  He's great at every single sport in his original high school, extremely popular with the ladies, and is arguably the most popular kid in school.



Compare that with the life of Aimee Brightower.  She's your stereotypical school brain.  She spends more time studying than socializing, and unlike Doyle, Aimee is a wallflower, who quickly finds herself fading further into the background each day.

However, both of them do have one thing in common.  They have both been selected to transfer to Galaxy High School, a high school that happens to be floating in the middle of outer space on top of a giant asteroid known as Flutor.  It most certainly is the opportunity of a lifetime, and of course, Doyle and Aimee are psyched about being able to go to school in outer space.  I mean, wouldn't you be?

But it isn't until they arrive at Galaxy High that Doyle and Aimee realize that the student body of Galaxy High is nothing like what they are both used to.  



Let's just go over some of the students of Galaxy High, shall we?

Milo de Venus - Galaxy High's student body president, he always welcomes students with open arms...all six of them.
Gilda Gossip - A student with Medusa like hair with lips attached to each strand - perfect for spreading rumours like wildfire.
Beef Bonk - The leader of the gang known as the Bonk Bunch.  Also the school bully who has a deep-seeded hatred for Earth and Earthlings.
Wendy Garbo - An attractive alien who quickly becomes friends with Aimee.
Booey Bubblehead - A girl who has a bubble for a head...which simulates the fact that she's not exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer.
The Creep - The runt of the school who has a secret crush on Aimee.

So, yeah...certainly an interesting crew of characters, wouldn't you agree?  But, don't let their appearances scare you.  All of them (well, except for maybe Beef Bonk) were extremely nice and cool to hang around with.

But here's where the show becomes interesting, and teaches the viewer a very valuable lesson on popularity...being that popularity is what you make it.  And that sometimes you can be popular in one place, but completely be humbled in another.


It's a lesson that the egotistical Doyle learned the hard way when he enrolled as a student at Galaxy High.  Being used to being the big kahuna at his Earth school, he saw Galaxy High as a chance to become the most popular kid in the whole universe - even telling Aimee to stay away from him because she would cramp his style.



So imagine Doyle's surprise when Aimee ends up becoming the most popular girl in school!  She quickly befriends Gilda, Wendy, and Booey, and is the object of affection from many of the male aliens.  Doyle, on the other hand, is not really making any friends (except for maybe Milo), because his aura of superiority really turns off the other students.

I always said the student body of Galaxy High were great judges of character!

As the series progressed, Doyle began to loosen up and found a way to fit in using his athletic abilities to charm the students of Galaxy High.  And he even begins to treat Aimee with a little more respect - seemingly paving the way to a possible romance.

Just a shame the show got cancelled before anything really happened.

And now I have a special treat for all of you reading this.  I managed to locate the first episode of Galaxy High for your viewing pleasure.

Click HERE for Part One
Click HERE for Part Two

Click HERE for Part Three

(And, I want a locker just like Aimee's!)

Friday, October 18, 2013

Fear Factor

I think that one of the best things ever about Halloween is the fact that it can be really unpredictable. It's one of those holidays in which you never know what to expect. It is one of those holidays in which just as many tricks are played as there are treats given out at every house in the neighbourhood. Every October 31st, you would see dozens of creepy, crawly ghosts, goblins, zombies, and perhaps the scariest sight of all...a person in a Justin Bieber costume wandering the streets. But whether they were innocent young children eager to get their hands on fun-size Snickers bars, or devils in disguise waiting to transform your jack-o-lantern into pumpkin puree...well, it's impossible to tell. Halloween is one of those holidays in which it's impossible to tell the difference between the good people of society and the bratty ones just out to cause mischief.

Kind of a scary thought, isn't it?

But then again, that seems to be the premise for most horror films out there. The people who you're suspicious of usually saves your life at the eleventh hour, while the person who you thought that you could trust ends up being the serial killer who murdered all of your mutual friends.

Not suggesting that any of you reading this are friends with a serial killer. Just making a statement about just unpredictable Halloween can be.

I know that I've told this story on here before, but I'll tell it again since it's been a couple of years since I last mentioned it, and some of you may not have been around when I talked about it last.

It was Halloween 1991. It was a bittersweet Halloween celebration that year. The good was that I had one of my best Halloween costumes ever with my homemade Super Mario costume, and I ended up getting a lot of treats. But it was also a sad Halloween as my grandmother passed away two days before Halloween.

(On a creepy note, my grandmother's wake was ON Halloween.)

So, while the rest of my family went to the wake, the family agreed that going to the wake would be too much for me to see, so they arranged to have a friend of the family take me trick-or-treating that year while everyone else went to the wake. That way I would have had a little bit of fun before my grandmother's funeral was held the following morning.

But here's the thing about Halloween. Halloween is one of those days in which you never know what you could expect. And after I was finished trick-or-treating and my family picked me up and took me back home, we were all kind of in fear over the shocking scene that met us upon coming back home.

Imagine our surprise when we pulled up into the driveway and saw a couple of strange men crawling up our tree! My mom was worried and confused. She had just lost her mother, and on top of all that, she thought that someone was trying to break into our house!

But they weren't exactly breaking “into” our house. They were just breaking into our tree. You see, we had decorated our tree by stringing up fake ghosts, bats, and the piece de resistance – a life-size fake corpse hanging from the middle of our tree.

As it turned out, the “corpse” was the thing they desired. Of course, they didn't get very far. My sister's then-boyfriend tackled the dummy with the dummy and both ended up taking out one of my mom's rose bushes. It was only after the guys explained that they were doing a Halloween scavenger hunt for some fraternity party and that the dummy was on their list that we let them have it. It wasn't as though we were emotionally attached to the dummy, and it wasn't as though they were there intending to rob us of all of our valuables.

(Would have been a waste of time anyway. My family had NO valuables to be taken.)

Whatever the case, it ended up being a great story to tell, and nobody ended up getting hurt. And all the fears we had ended up being a rather comical misunderstanding.

But that's the thing with fear. Sometimes we fear something and we have absolutely no idea why we fear it. Sometimes our fear of something is brought out by a childhood trauma. And sometimes our fear is something that only we can understand, and makes other people question or even make fun of us because we have that fear.

In my case, it would be fear of failure, fear of drowning, and fear of popping balloons. In that order. And, please don't make fun of that last one. I'm tired of trying to explain it to people.

So, here's a question for all of you out there. What would happen if you were faced with your biggest fear? What if you were trapped inside of a car that was out of control, or faced with having crawl into a tank filled with scorpions and tarantulas, or having to swim through an underwater course without an air tank? Do you think you would have the courage and wits to get through it?

What if I sweetened the deal for you? How about if I offered you fifty thousand dollars in cash to face your fears? If you successfully did it, you'd get the money? Would you swim with sharks, choke down some balut, or allow yourself to be covered with thousands of fire ants then?

Well, as far as my own price tag goes, my price would probably be much higher. Like maybe to the tune of $50,000,000. But for several hundred people who appeared on a television series that used to air on NBC. It was NBC's very first prime-time reality television series, launched shortly after the debut of the hugely successful “Survivor”. And, when you stop and look back on the first season of “Survivor”, there were quite a few challenges which made the castaways face their own fears. They had to eat live bugs and perform physically exhausting challenges that tested their strength and stamina.



The only thing was that “Fear Factor” amped up the challenges in a HUGE way.



When “Fear Factor” debuted on NBC on June 11, 2001, it was a ratings powerhouse. And part of the reason why it was so huge was because it was a show that took ordinary Americans and forced them to confront some of their biggest fears – all for the chance to win a fifty thousand dollar cash prize.

Hosted by former “NewsRadio” actor and current UFC commentator Joe Rogan, the standard episode of “Fear Factor” was divided up into three parts. And each round of the game show from hell was more intense than the previous one.

But it's important to note that these stunts were not intended to be recreated at home. As Joe always said at the beginning of each episode...

I'm Joe Rogan, and this is Fear Factor. The stunts you are about to seewere all designed and supervised by trained professionals. They are extremely dangerous and should not be attempted by anyone, anywhere, anytime.”

So, let's make it perfectly clear. The show should really be called “Fear Factor: Don't Try This At Home”.

The vast majority of the episodes featured six contestants (almost always three men and three women), but there were special episodes filmed. On a “Best Friends” or “Family” episode, they would sometimes have four couples. Or if the theme was “Miss America Contestants”, all the contestants were female. And sometimes there would be celebrity competitors (usually from NBC television shows) that would compete in the show to donate their winnings to the charity of their choice.

But the common goal was the same. Get through three rounds. Win the cash.

However, it wasn't that simple. If contestants failed the challenge, were the worst performer in the challenge, or let fear prevent them from even attempting the challenge, they could be eliminated and walk away with nothing.

And just what were the challenges?

Well, the first challenge was one that was designed in such a way that even the most seasoned of stunt performers would have great difficulty. All of the stunts in the first round had contestants doing a physical stunt. Have a look at an example below.



Now, I'll tell you right now. I would be out the first round. There's no way that I could do anything like that. So, for those contestants who did get through those stunts, you have my absolute respect...even though I still think you're nuts.

Anyway, all the contestants would perform in the challenge, and the two worst performers (or worst performing team) would be eliminated from the game.

Then came the second stunt which tested the strength of comtestants'...erm...stomachs.

You see, the second stunt often involved creepy crawling things, eating disgusting objects, and chugging down milkshakes made of the most revolting ingredients. Would you like to have a look at an example of one of these stunts? Have a look...if your stomach is strong enough.



Wasn't that revolting? Again, I would NOT be able to do anything like that at all. I don't get creeped out by spiders, but I certainly wouldn't like to EAT one. Especially when it is still alive. But those contestants who could gather their wits and pretend that those icky, yucky bugs tasted like chicken, they would move on to the final round. In fact, there was a little bit of incentive for performing the best in that challenge. Those who did the best could win a vacation or a new car. So, I suppose that having a voracious appetite could work out in your favour.

And this leads to the final stunt...one which you might only find in a stereotypical action film. Have a look at an example.



Ever wanted to run atop a speeding freight train? Some contestants during the final round could do that. Ever wanted to escape a sinking car? Some contestants did that. Ever wanted to try and disarm a bomb before it exploded? I believe that there was one stunt that did exactly that!

But I stress...no Fear Factor contestants ever died during any of the tapings of the show.

The contestant who performed the stunt in the fastest time would win the fifty thousand cash prize, as well as the opportunity to play in the Fear Factor Tournament of Champions at the end of each season for the chance to win a hundred thousand dollars.

The original series ran for five years, concluding its run in the summer of 2006 following a decline in ratings. However, the show was briefly revived for the 2011 holiday season, with new episodes airing until the show was cancelled again in 2012.

But all in all, the series was successful enough to be syndicated on several networks including outdoor life and game show specialty channels. And, I can readily admit that a group of people in our dorm rooms at university came up with a Fear Factor drinking game which all but ensured that we had half-drunk students stumbling around each night the show aired.


Of course, just to clarify...we drank alcohol...not cow blood.

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Remember Your First Date?

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. And, I suppose that this is a good thing, given that I have a lot of free time on my hands this week (this is day one of a nine-day long holiday from my paying job). Even more timely is the fact that this is the Thursday Diary entry, which allows me the chance to open up to all of you about exactly what is going through my mind – whether you asked for it or not.

Then again, I suppose that if you didn't want to read it, you could always skip over it. But one of the things I want to achieve by doing a Thursday Diary entry each week is to open myself up and put myself out there so that by doing so, it might make other people realize that there is no shame in opening themselves up to others. Believe me, I know that when I first began this blog two years ago, the thought of sharing my deepest, darkest secrets scared the hell out of me. Now, I'm more or less an open book.

Well, okay...maybe I still have some secrets. I refuse to tell you what my social insurance number is, how much I make an hour, or what colour underwear I happen to be wearing at this very moment. Hey, I have to keep you all guessing on a few things, right?

Anyway, today's entry has me thinking a few thoughts about something that has always been very elusive to me...and after doing a lot of thinking about it, I'm beginning to understand why that is the case.

But before I go ahead with the blog entry, I just want to reiterate one thing. My intention with this piece is not to get people to feel sorry for me, nor is it to make people call me out and try to psychoanalyze me as if they were Lucy Van Pelt in that makeshift booth, begging people for a nickel every single time they offered a little nugget of advice. I'm just putting thoughts out there and batting around possible ideas as to why I am the way I am in hopes that if I get it out there in writing, I can possibly learn more about myself. What makes me tick. Why I've made some of the choices that I have made in the past, and how I can possibly undo some of the mistakes that I have made, and how I can go ahead with the future.

And in the spirit of Spirit Day (a day that raises awareness towards bullying), I'm going to do this entry in purple font today.

So, here it is. Today's Thursday Diary entry...and it's a doozy.

October 17, 2013

You know something? I have a major, major confession that I have to make here. And, I'm not exactly sure how I am going to talk about what is going through my mind at this moment, so I'm just going to come out with it.

How many of you guys remember your first date? Come on, I'm sure that you all have had at least one first date with someone. I'll share my story.



My first date ever took place when I was just fourteen years old. It was June 1995 – the night of my grade eight graduation (which now makes me feel extremely old knowing that I graduated from elementary school almost twenty years ago). Prior to the night of my graduation, I had already made it well known that I was not even expecting to take someone else to the grad. I was just as content going to the ceremony to get my diploma (and unbeknownst to me, the eighth grade faculty award for English), and head home afterwards to binge on chocolate brownie ice cream.

Of course, fate stepped in, and changed my plans.

Midway through the year, a new girl transferred to our elementary school. Her name was Heather. And, although she was in a different classroom, we became friends as we chatted with each other in the school hallway during our morning break. It was quite cool how we just clicked with each other. Our backgrounds were slightly similar in that we were both kind of the outsiders wanting into the so-called in-crowd (only for me to realize years later that the in-crowd wasn't as much fun as they made themselves out to be), and as it turned out, we had quite a lot in common.

I mean, we only knew each other for...oh...four months or so, but it was nice to have someone to chat with. I imagine that had we been in the same class together, we likely would have gotten in trouble for talking in class so much. But hey, it was the one year where we were the big kids of the school. What could the teachers do? Hold us back for another year because we were talking in class?

I honestly don't remember whose idea it was for us to go to the eighth grade graduation dance together. As I remember it, I think it was her who suggested the idea and I went along with it, but I think it could have been the other way around. As great as my memory is, I don't seem to remember that detail at all. Whatever the case, we ended up making the decision to go to the dance together. And, I was thinking to myself...maybe this grad dance could turn out to be a fun experience after all.

Of course, in our little graduating class of seventy kids, word travels fast, and sure enough, a couple of the brattier kids in the school were poking fun at both of us. One even recoiled in horror over the fact that I was taking Heather to the dance. Can you believe that?

I chalk it up to plain green-eyed jealousy. After all...Heather and I had dates and, well...they didn't.

Anyway, the night of graduation, I was very excited. Even managed to scrape up enough money to get her a corsage. After all, it was my first date ever and I wanted to make a good impression. Of course, I didn't realize that her mother had already bought her a corsage...but hey, she was the only girl in the school who had a double corsage!

And you know something? I can only speak for myself, but I thought it was a great date. We danced to all the slow songs together. But we both agreed that I was a terrible dancer to even attempt to do the fast songs, so when people were grooving along to Ace of Base, The Smashing Pumpkins, and Janet Jackson, Heather and I sat down on one of the gym benches and talked. It ended up being a very nice time.

If anything, the only regret that I had was that we never gave each other a goodbye kiss. But there were reasons. For one, we didn't want the whole school talking about it the next day (we still had two more days of school to get through before we were finally free of elementary school), and secondly, her mother had arrived to pick her up early and she watched us dance the final dance of the night. Now that I think about it, it kind of made me somewhat nervous. But, then again, wouldn't you be nervous too if the parent of your date was watching you?

At any rate, that is the story of my first date. So what happened? Unfortunately after graduation, Heather's family relocated shortly after, and I never saw her again.

Yep...just our luck, I suppose.

The more I think about it though, as much as I hate to admit it, I doubt that any sort of relationship would have come out of that one date. After all, had her family not moved away, we would have attended rival high schools anyway (though I admit that had she stuck around, it likely would have prompted me to transfer high schools and all the hell I went through in high school might not have happened...but I try not to think about that too much). I mean, I'm sure that we would have tried to make things work, but it seemed as though the odds were against us from the get-go. I don't even know where she is now, but I hope she's doing well, and I hope that she's happy.

So, what does this have to do with my opening spiel about something that I have always wanted but have never been able to find?



It's simple. I guess in some way, I've been using that experience after my first date to justify why I have not yet found the love of my life yet.

I hear so many people say that everyone in the world has their soulmate, and how there is someone out there for every person in the world. I really would like to believe this to be the truth, but I don't know if I can because I've never really felt strong feelings like that.

Well, okay...that's not entirely true. I've had crushes on people before, but they've never really amounted to anything before. There have been times in which I've mistaken my feelings for love, but they ended up being feelings of deep friendship (and I am thankful that I do have really good friends that I can talk to about things like this). But when it comes to the chemistry of love, all of my experiments have flopped, and I end up getting a great big “F” in the subject.

Oh, sure. Some people have suggested that the reason why I have a hard time finding love is because the dating pool is so small in town. And, well, I'm going to be honest with you. I tend to agree with them. There's not a lot of single people my age in this community at all to mingle with. But then again, I haven't really made the opportunity to see where all of these swingin' singles are, so I can only blame myself for that one.

I've had people tell me that I am way too picky when it comes to finding a mate, and to that I ask them...weren't YOU the same way once upon a time? I mean, I'm not a shallow person. When it comes to looks and some personality traits, I don't really care that much. But at the same time, I won't date anyone who has a mean streak, who makes me feel stupid or embarrassed, or who is so self-absorbed that they can only think of themselves. Unfortunately, many of the girls that I had a crush on in high school ended up being all those things and more, and my crush ended up being crushed rather quickly.

You want to know the real reason why I've been unlucky in love? I'll tell you. It's because I lack confidence. I find it really easy to write about my thoughts and feelings in an online setting. It actually makes me feel better about myself when I do. But when it comes to asking a girl out on a date, I can't get the words out. Even at 32, I still struggle with this. There have been many instances at work or in college where I have thought about asking people out on a date before, but I chickened out at the last minute. And then when I finally worked up the nerve to ask them out, they had already gotten involved with someone else, and once again, opportunity was lost. And, I'll own up to it. It's my own fault.

I guess I just wish that I had the confidence in myself to ask a girl out on a date, but then I think about everything that I can offer them, and when I look at it from a materialistic standpoint, I don't have much. But then again, would I want to date someone who was essentially a gold-digger? Absolutely not!

I guess when it all comes down to it is this. Until I find a way to improve my self-confidence, I have really no business getting involved in a relationship right now. And, I guess I have to be okay with that for now.

But am I giving up on the search for love completely? Not yet. After all...I'm not entirely a dateless wonder. There was that one night in June 1995 where I had a great time with someone special. Maybe I can recreate it with someone else that is very special.




Only without the lame mid-1990s music.