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Thursday, July 24, 2014

How Sally Jessy Raphael Destroyed Our TV

Occasionally I like to insert little tidbits about what life was like growing up in small town Canada because I have a very good memory (well, long term anyway).  Most of these memories are somewhat on the stupid side, as I wasn't exactly the brightest crayon in the box (at least socially, anyway), but they are my own, and I own them all.

This time around, I'm going to tell you a little story about an incident that happened when I was around twelve years old.  It will successfully lead into the topic of today's blog topic.

I want to tell you the story about how a talk show host blew up our television.

Well, okay...I guess she didn't really blow it up.  It was just one of those instances in which the stars lined themselves up in the perfect position for complete and total chaos. 



Variable #1:  The television itself.  Would you believe that back in the early 1990s, televisions were a lot bigger than they are now?  In the case of the television in my parents house at the time, they had a thirty-two inch television.  Now, I know that thirty-two inch televisions aren't anything special by today's standards, but at that time, our thirty-two inch television was such that it took up the entire corner of the living room and weighed close to four hundred pounds.

It was an Electrohome floor television that my parents had received for a wedding present about five years earlier.  Great picture, and great sound...but after five years of being constantly turned on and off, it was beginning to show its age.



Variable #2:  My sister was addicted to daytime talk shows and soap operas at that time.  I can still recall her getting mad at me a couple of times when I was playing my Nintendo during the hour that "Guiding Light" was on television.  She just had to find out what was going on with Harley, and Alan-Michael, and whoever else was on that show during the summer of 1992.  She'll likely kill me for admitting this in public too, but I'm willing to take that risk for the sake of this blog.



Variable #3:  Because I did not have my own television in my bedroom until I was a teenager, my Nintendo was hooked up to our living room television, as I had said before.  And in those days, we never had the idea to have surge protectors in the house.  My Nintendo and the television were plugged into what could be considered a dodgy electrical outlet in the next room over.

(Which interestingly enough was the laundry room.  What can I say?  The people who designed the house that we lived in at the time lacked basic design.)



Variable #4:  Did you know that in my town, the month in which the most thunderstorms occur in is June?  At least that's what it seemed like back in June of '92.  I can't even remember a wetter June.  I also can't remember seeing more thunderstorms during the month of June than I did back in 1992.

So, those are the four variables.  Five year old television.  Sister's obsession with daytime television.  Thunderstorms outside.  No surge protectors.  Can you guess what happened?

What happened was that while I was at school, my sister decided during a thunderstorm that she wanted to watch an episode of what was her favourite daytime talk show.  As the rain fell down and the lightning flashed outside, she grabbed the remote control to turn on her show...

...and as she did that, a huge crack of lightning must have struck very close to our house because our television began to emit clouds of smoke!

Yep.  That's right.  The lightning strike caused a power surge which fried our television.  At least, that's what we THINK happened.  Luckily the house didn't burn down.  That would have been really bad.

Sadly, our television was no more.  In fact, my Nintendo was a casualty as well.  Although it didn't get blown up or anything, the power surge caused the Nintendo to be useless.

It was a little inconvenient to have no television for a couple of months or so, but the timing was quite good when it did happen.  It happened in the summer, which was re-run season anyway.  And by the time we got television again a couple of months later, the shows were brand new.  And I ended up getting my Super Nintendo that Christmas, so in the end it all worked out.

(Oh...and we stocked up on surge protectors when they had a sale at Canadian Tire.  We weren't about to make that same mistake twice.)

So, I suppose you're wondering...what show was so important that my sister had to watch it during one of the worst thunderstorms of the year?



It was HER show!  Sally Jessy Raphael.  The talk show host at the center of "Lightning Gate 1992".  Yes, we'll be taking a look at the former talk show host in this blog.  How she got her start, some of the topics that she covered on her show, and what she's doing now.

Now, most people would probably list Oprah Winfrey as the Queen of Talk, but the truth is that Sally Jessy Raphael predated Oprah by three years.  Her show debuted in the fall of 1983 and ran for an impressive nineteen years before wrapping up production in May 2002.  It was really easy to spot Sally Jessy Raphael and pick her out from the other talk show hosts because of her trademark red framed glasses which she wore each and every episode. 

But prior to Sally launching her own talk show, she certainly had a lot of struggles getting there.  She was born Sally Lowenthal in Easton, Pennsylvania on February 25, 1935 (making her 79 years of age as of July 24, 2014), and after graduating from Columbia University, she worked a series of jobs.  She started off as a news correspondent, worked in radio and television, and even hosted a cooking show.  Her knowledge of English and Spanish was definitely an asset as she could take jobs in Central America as well as her native United States.  She also had a small presence in Puerto Rico, where she worked a number of media based jobs.

But as mentioned before, Sally did have struggles.  Sally herself even stated that at one point in her career, she had worked at twenty-four television stations doing a variety of jobs - and had been fired from eighteen of them.  Ouch.  Though the struggle wasn't a complete loss.  She did meet her husband, Karl Soderlund, during this time.

By the time the 1980s arrived, the tide was beginning to turn for Sally.  In November 1981, she had found her niche, hosting a radio call-in show.  That show ran until 1987.  But how she got her television show was a bit of a fluke.  She was going to base her radio show entirely on politics, but decided to switch it up at the last minute to make it an advice show.  Soon after the show debuted, she was syndicated at over 200 radio stations and developed a loyal fan base.



One of those fans?  Legendary talk show host Phil Donahue.

And Phil's kind words encouraged Sally to try out for a television gig.  Producer Burt Dubrow gave her a chance be a guest host on one of his shows.  She didn't give off the best performance, and was a little bit green in front of the camera, but Dubrow saw enough potential in her to take a gamble on her.  He truly believed that as time passed, she would grow more comfortable in front of the camera.  By October 1983, she was given her own thirty minute talk show based out of St. Louis.  Over the years, the show would expand to an hour and relocate to New York City, but Sally's kind and demure personality along with a strong belief in common sense helped propel her to become one of the most successful talk show hosts of the 1980s and early 1990s.



TRIVIA:  Sally Jessy Raphael once won the Daytime Emmy Award for Outstanding Talk Show in 1989.



(By the way...the reason why she wore red glasses?  It began when Sally began to have difficulty making out the words on the teleprompter, and she was forced to get reading glasses.  The only ones available were ones with a chunky red frame.  They weren't exactly well received by production, but the audience loved them on her.  And so she kept them for the duration of the series.  And beginning in 1995, Sally began to dye her hair red to match the glasses!)

Well, okay, I don't know if she wore them specifically for that reason.  I just found it amusing.

Of course, over the years, the talk show market began to die out in the late 1990s, and by 2000, Sally's ratings had fallen to an all new low.  Despite Sally's efforts to try and keep up with the likes of Maury Povich and Jerry Springer by having sensationalistic topics, the show was cancelled in 2002.  But you can't deny that she had a lot of success while the show was on the air.



After all, she covered topics that included the following...

"SEND MY TEEN TO BOOT CAMP"
"MY FAMILY MEMBER DRESSES TOO SEXY"
"CLEAN UP MY SLOB HUSBAND"
"IS MY HUSBAND CHEATING ON ME?"
"BABIES, BABIES, BABIES"

Oh, and she also would have occasional celebrity interviews on her program as well.  If you click HERE, you can watch one that she did with Olympic diving champ Greg Louganis.

Actually, to close off this blog, have some fun watching some old clips of the Sally Jessy Raphael show...the show that was responsible for destroying my family's living room television some twenty-two years ago.


Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Stop Posting Your Big Macs On Instagram!!!

On this edition of WHO AM I WEDNESDAY, I'm going to be doing a diary entry.  It's been a while since I've done one. 

Besides, I forgot to charge my iPad, so my video camera is currently out of commission, so I really have no choice but to write an entry rather than film one.  It's just as well anyway.  I don't really feel as though I have much of a camera presence.

Besides, I feel as though I express myself better through written word rather than spoken word.  So this is going to be an easy one for me to write.

In fact, I'm going to go right ahead and thank my friend Jenn for being the inspiration behind this diary entry, as I saw an article she posted on her Facebook page.

July 23, 2014

I honestly don't remember the last time I went out to eat at a restaurant, but if I had to make a guess, I'd say that it was at least a couple of months ago.  Maybe sooner, maybe later.  Funny thing is, I could probably tell you what I ordered that night (I think that it was one of those buffalo chicken sandwich combos from a neighbourhood bar and grill just a block away from where I live).

But this is not a diary entry about my memory.  Instead, it's a blog entry about social behaviour.  And as it so happens, I came across an article online that a friend posted on her Facebook page.  And the subject was all about restaurant dining and customer service.

It certainly interested me because although I have no experience in the dining industry, I do have a lot of experience in customer service.  So, I clicked on the article, and read it.

Here.  Before I continue, why don't I post the link for you HERE.  I want you to read it and hold on to your thoughts until the end.



This restaurant is based in the New York City area, and when it first opened, it received rave reviews and was one of the quintessential hot spots in the entire city.  But recently the restaurant had been given some not-so-nice reviews by customers who had dined there.  Too many bad reviews to seem like a coincidence.

So this restaurant decided to do a little investigating.  As it so happened, they had security footage from July 2004 in storage at the restaurant.  They compared that tape with the security footage from July 2014 to see what the number one problem was to warrant customers leaving bad reviews.

What was interesting about both tapes were that each day's footage had approximately the same amount of customers on each given day.  But there was one major difference between the 2004 footage and the 2014 footage.



The people in the 2014 footage had more access to smartphones and tablets than ever before.

Now, I remember 2004 well enough (I was 23, so it wasn't that long ago to me even though I realize that it was an entire decade) to realize that cell phones were still a novelty back then.  Sure, a lot of people had them, but they weren't as fancy as they are now.  Back in those days, text messages were still billed by the letter, and I don't believe that people could access the Internet with them as of yet.  I don't think that started happening until at least 2008.  But then again, as someone who currently doesn't own a cell phone, I have absolutely no idea when wireless connection exploded in popularity.  I'm just guessing at this point.

The point is that in the 2014 footage, it seems to make it clear that the reason why people were complaining about the service was that they felt it was much too slow.  The problem is that a lot of the people weren't aware that they could have been part of the reason why they were backing up tables. 

I mean, think about it.  If you were a waiter or waitress at a restaurant, and you had people demanding to change tables so that they could access a better WIFI hot spot, spend ten minutes on their phones without even opening up their menus to play a round of "Guess The Movie Title", or taking snapshots of their meal so they could post them on Instagram, I would think that it would be quite frustrating.

And, while some of you might be looking at this article that I've posted and thinking that the stats in the article are false and made up, I can safely say that I've seen this happen a lot in my own personal experiences to know that this isn't an isolated incident.



People already know how I feel about smartphones in the first place.  I think if they are used correctly, they can be valuable things to have in case of emergency, and I think that in the long run, using a cell phone would be a lot cheaper than operating a landline these days.  But when people get so obsessed with having smartphones that they have to take them everywhere they want to go, it gets to be a bit much.

I mean, it's one thing to use your phone to take pictures while you're sightseeing.  I get that.  I used the video camera in my iPod to bring you exclusive footage from the Relay for Life event at periodic intervals.  But I honestly draw the line at people taking cell phones into restaurants with them.  There's no need for it.

I hear people arguing that they need to have their cell phones with them in case they get a call from work.  Well, perhaps I can maybe understand if you have a job where you are always on call (a doctor, cop, or fireman for instance).  But any other time, I would leave the phones at home.

I remember one of my friends telling me that they have heard of people who go out to eat at restaurants as a group and they have a rule that states that the first person to reach for their cell phone has to buy everyone else's meals.  A nice gesture with good intentions...but personally speaking, I think that the phones should stay home...or at least be switched off.

Here's some harsh reality.  None of us care that you ate the best chicken cacciatore at the bistro down the street.  Why would you then post a picture of your meal for us to see?  Unless you are posting a recipe for that dynamite meal with your pic, I don't see a point to it. 

And, I'm sure that waiters and waitresses would love to be able to serve you better, but they likely get frustrated when they have to wait for you to make a decision over what appetizers you want because you can't be bothered to end your text conversation to care.  You do realize that every minute you make a waiter or waitress wait, that's potential tip money that they could lose.  And let's face it.  Some people need those tips to keep up with bill payments.  Try looking at it like that.



And I guess on a purely selfish note, whenever I get invited out to eat with friends, I don't go with the intention of being ignored while my friends sit around a table and play with their cell phones.  I would want to catch up with them, ask them about their day, and tell jokes.  I love deep conversations with people, and frankly, it's hard to do when they seem to give more attention to a lifeless hunk of plastic and glass. 


I'd rather eat alone than go through that.

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

July 22, 1940

It's a day that falls once a week every Tuesday, but instead of serving tacos, it serves knowledge.

The question is - What is the
Tuesday Timeline?

On the Tuesday Timeline, we take a look at one major event and a few minor events, as well as wishing a few famous faces a very happy birthday.  So, should we get right on with it?  We have a lot of ground to cover in this blog entry and not a lot of time to do it!

So, what happened in the world on July 22?  A lot of things!

1686 - Albany, New York is formally chartered as a municipality by Governor Thomas Dongan

1793 - Alexander Mackenzie becomes the first person to complete a transcontinental crossing of Canada

1796 - Surveyors of the Connecticut Land Company name a section of Ohio after General Moses Cleveland

1812 - British forces defeat French troops in the Battle of Salamanca

1864 - The Battle of Atlanta takes place which sees Confederate General John Bell Hood launching an unsuccessful attack on Union troops on Bald Hill

1894 - The world's first motor race is held in France, between Paris and Rouen

1916 - Ten are killed and forty more injured following the detonation of a bomb on San Francisco's Market Street

1933 - Wiley Post becomes the first pilot to fly solo around the world

1934 - John Dillinger is mortally wounded by FBI agents outside of the Biograph Theater in Chicago

1942 - The deportation of Jews from the Warsaw Ghetto begins on the same day that the United States government issues a rationing demand for gasoline because of World War II

1951 - Desik and Tsygan become the first dogs to make a sub-orbital flight

1977 - Deng Xiaoping is restored to power as Chinese leader

1991 - After police discover human remains in his Milwaukee apartment, serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer is arrested and taken into police custody

2003 - The sons of Saddam Hussein, Uday and Qusay, as well as Qusay's son and a bodyguard, are killed after members of the 101st Airborne of the United States attack an Iraqi compound

2005 - Jean Charles de Menezes is killed by police as the hunt begins for the terrorists who planted bombs in London on July 7 and July 21

2008 - Actress Estelle Getty passes away at the age of 84 in Los Angeles

2011 - A bomb blast targeting government buildings and a massacre at a youth camp occurs the same day in Norway

2013 - Eighty-nine people are killed when a series of earthquakes strike China

And the following people are celebrating turning another year older today. So, a very happy birthday to Bob Dole, Orson Bean, Oscar de la Renta, Louise Fletcher, Terence Stamp, George Clinton, Ron Turcotte, Bobby Sherman, Rick Davies, Danny Glover, Albert Brooks, Gilles Duceppe, Don Henley, Sylvia Chang, Brian Howe, Lonette McKee, Willem Dafoe, Dave Stieb, Keith Sweat, Rob Estes, Emily Saliers, John Leguizamo, David Spade, Patrick Labyorteaux, Rhys Ifans, Colin Ferguson, Daniel Jones, Rufus Wainwright, Franka Potente, A.J. Cook, Sharni Vinson, Selena Gomez, Amber Beattie, and Madison Pettis.

Whew...I'm exhausted!  That was a lot of birthdays!  Oh, and for the record, I am not related to jockey Ron Turcotte.  At least, not that I'm aware of anyway.

So, what date will be looking at this week?



The answer is July 22, 1940.  Here's the question.

What is the date in which our Tuesday Timeline subject was born?

Okay, let's continue on with the same category...for oh, how about $600?

The answer is Sudbury, Ontario, Canada. 

Oh!  I know!  What is the place of birth for today's Tuesday Timeline subject?

Correct!  Should we try the $800 question?  Maybe it's a Daily Double.

In 1984, this man took over the hosting duties of the long running game show, "Jeopardy", and will be celebrating his thirtieth year of hosting the program on September 10, 2014.



This is an easy one.  Who is ALEX TREBEK?

All right!  We win!  And, your prize is a blog entry on the game show host who will be blowing out seventy-four candles on his birthday cake today.  Alex Trebek is the subject of the blog.  And in this blog, we'll be taking a look at some of the things that Alex did before hosting Jeopardy, as well as learning about some of the funny and bizarre moments that he's experienced since.

And, I think I'm going to follow the Jeopardy method of introducing trivia by having the answer first, and then the question will reveal the answer to the...ahem...answer.  Does that make sense to you, because it did to me.

Anyway, here we go.

NAMES FOR $200
The answer is George.  What's the question?

What is Alex Trebek's real first name?  This is true.  He was born George Alexander Trebek.  I suppose George Trebek just didn't have that nice ring to it.

CHRONOLOGICAL EVENTS FOR $600
He had a hairy situation when he did this in 2001 after almost three decades.  What's the question?



What is shaving off his moustache?  Yes, after growing a moustache for well over thirty years, he decided to shave it off completely in 2001.  I still remember seeing the episode after he shaved it off, and I couldn't even recognize him.  I don't know if it was just me, but I thought it changed his entire look.

Okay, let's pick again.

GAME SHOWS FOR $800
Alex Trebek broke a record in 1991 for hosting three game shows at the same time - Jeopardy!, To Tell The Truth, and this game show which had contestants picking pairs to win cars.  What's the question?

The answer is..."Classic Concentration".  Here's a clip below.



For the record, I used to watch this game show when I was still in school.  It always aired during my lunch hour, so I would watch it every day until its cancellation in the fall of 1991.  It was challenging to solve the rebuses, but it was by far a much easier game than Jeopardy!

Okay, let's stick with GAME SHOWS FOR $400
In 1997, Alex Trebek swapped places with this game show host for an April Fools Day joke.  I guess you could say that he had a "wheely" good laugh.  What's the question



Who is Pat Sajak?  Those of you probably know that Pat Sajak is the host of "Wheel of Fortune", which airs alongside "Jeopardy!" in most television stations.  Well, on April 1, 1997, Sajak hosted Jeopardy!, and Trebek hosted Wheel of Fortune with Vanna White.  Personally, I wish they had Vanna on Jeopardy presenting the clues by touching the puzzle board on Jeopardy, but I guess that was a missed opportunity.

Okay...let's do this category now.

CANCELLED TV SERIES FOR $1000
Alex Trebek has had a lot of opportunities hosting television shows...but this Canadian dance music show was his very first hosting gig.  What's the question?

What is Music Hop?

Admittedly, I've never heard of that show at all.  Mainly because it debuted a full eighteen years before I was even born.  But he would have been just 23 years old when that show debuted.  Maybe he was trying to be the Canadian Dick Clark?  It's possible, I suppose.

Okay.  Last question.  In fact, let's make this the final Jeopardy question.  Here's the final answer...

In Jacksonville, Florida, Alex Trebek literally ran with a flame in his hands towards this final destination, a place in which athletes wish for gold in the year that the Macarena stayed at the top of the charts for fourteen weeks.  Thirty seconds, people.  Good luck!





Okay, Matthew.  You're the only contestant playing today so, let's see your answer.




You say it's the 1996 Summer Olympics, which were held in Atlanta, Georgia, and the torch run extended into part of Florida, in which Alex Trebek carried the Olympic torch.  You're correct!  And you win three thousand dollars!

Well, okay.  Not really.  I didn't win three grand.  However, I do have it on my bucket list that I would love to appear on a game show.  And I'm a lot more intelligent now than I was when I was a child.  I'd love to try and take part on Jeopardy one day...preferably before Alex Trebek retires from the show in the summer of 2016.  I think it'd be cool to meet him.  And to have the opportunity to play on a game show just once?  That would be very cool.

Until then, happy birthday, Mr. Trebek!

Monday, July 21, 2014

Global Fast Food Items

I think that I've done it.  I think that I've come up with a brand new theme for Mondays in the blog. 

Back in the days in which I was a part of an online talk show known as MOTIVE4CHANGE, the day used to be called MOTIVATION MONDAY.  Of course, when that show was put on hiatus, it left me with a bit of a dilemma.  Initially, I thought about keeping the theme of motivation going and for a few weeks, I wrote entries that had to deal with the subject of motivating others into doing something positive.

But to be perfectly honest with you...I don't think I'm a very good motivational speaker.  In order to motivate people, you have to have confidence.  And let's face it.  I'm not exactly the most confident person in the world.

But then I discovered that humour seems to be a great way to bring people together.  The last two posts that I wrote on Mondays in which I posted funny pictures and signs really seemed to resonate well with all of you.  So, I thought that I would make Monday the brand new day for funny things.

I guess for now, the theme name will be
FUNNY MONDAY (a take-off of "Funny Money")...but that name just doesn't seem to work for me.  If you guys have a better (more wittier) name, please send me your ideas either here, or you can tweet me @PCA_GuideToLife

So, given that we're going to be talking about funny things from here on out on Mondays, I suppose that I need to choose a topic this time around.

Well, let's talk about food.  I know it's a little early in the week to be doing so, but what the heck.  Mondays just became a lot less structured.

Specifically, I want to talk about fast food.  Not that I eat a lot of it, and not that anyone should be eating a lot of it (If you watched Morgan Spurlock's "Supersize Me", you'll never want to touch the stuff again), but I've always been interested in some of the creations that fast food places come up with.

On Friday, I talked briefly about the Dorito taco that Taco Bell sells, and I have to admit that it's a really creative and unique item that I'd like to try - even though I am not a taco fan.  My love for Doritos would overtake that dislike of tacos.  I know, it sounds bizarre, but I've never claimed to be one hundred per cent normal.

I also liked a couple of other novelty fast food items in my youth over the years.  Burger King came out with something called "Burger Bundles" which had three miniature burgers in a small package.  At the time they came out, I was in kindergarten, and I found it awesome that the restaurant made what I believed to be kid-sized burgers.  They didn't last too long, but I did like them.  Too bad nobody other than myself remembers them.

However, for every good novelty item that Burger King, Taco Bell, and Pizza Hut comes up with, there are just as many items that could be considered inedible, weird, or just plain annoying.  Kind of like this song below.



A Pizza Hut, a Pizza Hut, Kentucky Fried Chicken, and a Pizza Hut.  Oh, dear god, why did I post this?  The scary thing?  This was a Top 10 hit in the UK!!!

In today's blog, I'll be looking at fast food delicacies from all over the world that seemed like a good idea at the time, but didn't last too long.  Some of them I'd be willing to try (and I'll explain which ones I'd eat as we proceed with the list), but others make me want to reach for the airsick bag.

Of course, before I continue with today's post, I want to give credit to vibe.com, entrepreneur.com, businessinsider.com, and buzzfeed.com for the images that will be used in this blog post.

Ready for some taste treats that will make your mouth water in more ways than one?  Let's begin with a treat from the United States of America.



BACON MILKSHAKES (Jack in the Box)

Okay, I get that North Americans have a growing love affair with bacon.  And why not?  Unless you're vegetarian or vegan, bacon is a very tasty food that is used in a lot of fast food creations.  Just take a look at Wendy's "Baconator" for a good example of what I mean.

But somehow, taking strips of bacon, putting them into a blender filled with milk and ice cream, and turning it into a bacon milkshake...yeah, bring on the gag reflex.  How could anyone think that this was a good idea?  For those of you who like it, more power to you.  I just can't.

WOULD MATTHEW TRY THIS?  Hell no!



McGRILLSCHNAGG (McDonald's)

The bad news is that this sandwich can only be found in Swiss McDonald's restaurants.  The good news is...this sandwich can only be found in Swiss McDonald's restaurants.  I don't know...there's something about a pork sausage being placed on a bun with bacon surrounding it that sort of makes me very nervous.  Maybe it's the fact that there's too much pork, or maybe it's because I've never been a fan of pork sausage to begin with, but I honestly don't know if I would even order this sandwich, let alone eat it.

WOULD MATTHEW TRY THIS?  Probably not in this lifetime.



HOT DOG STUFFED CRUST PIZZA (Pizza Hut)

Okay.  Stuffed crust pizza is something that I can take or leave.  I prefer my pizza crust plain, but I won't turn down stuffed crust pizza.  Sometimes it can be good.

But when you stuff the pizza crust with a hot dog (as was the case in Pizza Hut restaurants based in the United Kingdom), that's a great way for me not to go near a pizza.  I'm not a huge fan of hot dogs (unless they are charred beyond recognition), so I'll have to pass on this one.  Seriously, how did they get a hot dog baked inside that crust?

WOULD MATTHEW TRY THIS?  I'll pass, thanks.

CROWN CRUST PIZZA (Pizza Hut)

This one comes to us from the Middle East...and in this one, I actually have a video to show you!



Okay, so unlike the hot dog stuffed crust, this one was surrounded by cheeseburgers!  And then there was something in the middle that looked like a tossed salad, but were actually condiments found in a burger.  It looks like someone took every possible fast food item in the world and merged them together into a super food.  And yet, there's something about that burger crust that makes my mouth water. 

WOULD MATTHEW TRY THIS?  I think I would actually...



WINDOWS 7 WHOPPER (Burger King)

Does everyone remember Windows 7?  I think most of you do.  In fact, some of you are probably using Windows 7 right now because you hate Windows 8 and are cursing Bill Gates for making a very complicated updated version of Windows that you can't use.

CONFESSION:  We still have people asking if we sell Windows 7 at my store because they hate Windows 8.  We don't.

SECOND CONFESSION:  I still use Windows 7 on my computer.

And how did Burger King Japan celebrate the launch of Windows 7?  By creating this very special burger!

Um...okay, so how the hell are we supposed to eat this thing?  Are we supposed to bite into the side of it, or are we to take it apart?  This is like the kind of burger that Jughead would make at the Chocklit Shop if Pop Tate wasn't around to supervise it.  And yet...I don't know.  As awkward as this burger looks...I feel compelled to try it.

WOULD MATTHEW TRY THIS?  Yes.  Would I finish it?  Probably not.



PIZZA-SIZE BURGER (Burger King)

Okay, what is Japan's obsession with gigantic hamburgers?  As if the Windows 7 stack of beef wasn't huge enough, they did it again with a whopper of a Whopper!  How about a Whopper that is as huge as an eight-inch pepperoni pizza?  It is cut into four equal pieces, so one burger could easily feed a family of four.  But there's a twist with this burger.  You know how some pizzerias have the half and half option in which you could get half pepperoni and half all-dressed pizza?  This burger works the same way.  Half the burger has traditional Whopper condiments like ketchup, lettuce, mayonnaise, and tomatoes.  The other half contains cheese, avocado, and a side order of tortilla chips.  I must say, this burger also intrigues me. 

WOULD MATTHEW TRY THIS?  I think I would.  Would I finish it?  Again, probably not.



PUMPKIN BURGER (Burger King)

You know, I will say this about Japanese Burger King restaurants.  They are very creative with their food items, and I do appreciate good creativity.  But there is no way in hell that you will ever convince me that putting chunks of pumpkin inside of a hamburger bun is ever a good idea.  If I were vegetarian, I could consider trying it, as it would be a meatless alternative to...

...ah, who am I kidding?  The pumpkin burger looks nasty!

WOULD MATTHEW TRY THIS?  Not in this lifetime.



KIT KAT POPS (Pizza Hut)

One thing that I can say about Pizza Hut is that they're always doing experiments with dessert items on the menu - which I appreciate, as I love desserts.  In Middle Eastern Pizza Hut restaurants, they came up with a new way to enjoy Kit Kat bars.  Dip them inside some pizza dough and bake them to a golden brown.  Sure they look quite bizarre...but surprisingly they also look delicious!

WOULD MATTHEW TRY THIS?  Absolutely!



LOBSTER AND CAVIAR BURGER (Wendy's)

Did you know that Wendy's has opened up locations in Japan?  Colour me surprised!  And who knew that they would be the ones to come up with a burger filled with the ingredients that you might find on dinner tables of the rich and famous?  Seriously, lobster and caviar?  I'd hate to discover how much that burger would retail at! 

WOULD MATTHEW TRY THIS?  Put me down as "I don't know".  I've never tasted lobster or caviar.  Maybe when I do, I can give you a better answer.



DRY PORK AND SEAWEED DONUT (Dunkin' Donuts)

This Chinese delicacy is...um...

WOULD MATTHEW TRY THIS?  No, NO, A THOUSAND TIMES NO!!!



MASHED POTATO BEEF BURGER (McDonald's)

I can't end this piece off without adding a food item from one of the most recognizable fast food places in the world.  But, seriously, McDonald's...making mashed potatoes a burger filling?  Apparently, China thought that it was a brilliant idea.

And to be honest with you, in theory, this combination could work.  I have a gross food secret.  When I was younger, I used to eat mustard with mashed potatoes.  Some of you might be gagging, but it was a flavour combo I enjoyed as a kid.  So, putting mashed potatoes in a burger wouldn't seem like a bad idea to me...as long as mustard was the only condiment.  I don't know what the hell is in the mashed potatoes in this burger, but it just looks wrong on so many levels.

WOULD MATTHEW TRY THIS?  I would...if I made it myself...and only had mustard on it.

Sunday, July 20, 2014

In the Year 2525

Hey, guys!  I hope you're interested in a flashback to the 1960s, because in this edition of the Sunday Jukebox, that's exactly where we're going.

Specifically to the end of that particular decade.

Today's song hit the top of the charts 45 years ago this week...and interestingly enough, something else happened 45 years ago this week.  In fact, today just happens to be the 45th anniversary of an event that changed the way we looked at the world - and the moon - forever.

I was unfortunately not alive when this event took place.  July 20, 1969 was eleven years, nine months, and twenty-eight days before I was born.  However, my parents were around to see it, as was my eldest sister who was toddler-aged at the time - though I doubt that she remembered it.



That was the day that Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin became the very first people in the entire world - or, I suppose you could say galaxy if you don't believe in aliens - to take steps on the surface of the moon.  It was one of the biggest news stories of the decade, and while there are some people who make the claim that the moon landing was a complete and total hoax, there are millions more who cite the event as being the catalyst for the global interest in space travel, and trying to find out more about how the universe was structured and laid out.  And, in the forty-five years since that day, dozens of hundreds of people can now make the claim that they have been up in outer space.



I can just imagine some of the sights that the astronauts up above saw while they were floating through space.  Most of us look out the windows at our homes or workplaces and see the moon and the sun in the sky, but for anyone who has ever been in outer space, imagine looking out the window of the space shuttle and seeing Venus, or Mars, or Earth!  That would be an awesome sight!  And I imagine that if I were to go up into outer space right now (which will likely never happen, but go with me on this train of thought), it would make me feel so tiny watching the Earth suspended in our universe.  We all like to think that our planet is so huge, and that we couldn't possibly see all of it in our lifetimes...but looking down on it from space, it's really very tiny.

And yet, Earth has been a part of the universe for billions of years.  It's gone through a lot to get to where it is now.  It's been through prehistoric ages with dinosaurs, and it's been through ice ages, and it's seen a lot of history pass through its continents and oceans.

And, well...I thought that I would choose a song that has to do with the Earth and humanity, and there's no perfect song to choose than this song, which hit the top of the charts 45 years ago this week.



ARTIST:  Zager and Evans
SONG:  In the Year 2525 (Exordium and Terminus)
ALBUM:  2525 (Exordium & Terminus)
DATE RELEASED:  1969
PEAK POSITION ON THE BILLBOARD CHARTS:  #1 for 6 weeks

Now, this is an interesting song.  It was a one-hit-wonder for Denny Zager and Rick Evans.  It was originally written five years before the single even charted by Evans, and it took approximately four years for the single to be released by a record company (the independent label Truth Records released some copies of the song in 1968).  But time was worth the wait as it topped the charts in the summer of 1969 - and it was the #1 song during the moon landing of July 1969 as well as during the Woodstock '69 music festival in August 1969.



Unfortunately for Zager and Evans, they are one of the few acts to have a #1 single, and then not have a single hit on the Billboard 100 after that.  The group disbanded two years after this single topped the charts, although they remain good friends.  In the case of Zager, he still works in the music industry, although instead of playing guitars, he builds custom-made ones instead in his current residence of Lincoln, Nebraska!

Okay, now let's get into the discussion of the lyrics of the song.  And considering the song's subject matter, it's a rather dark song.

It's also a song that is filled with predictions about the future, and as of right now, none of us know if those predictions will come true.  And unless they come up with a way to make all of us have a life expectancy of five hundred years, I have my doubts that any of us will be around to welcome in the year 2525.  



Just putting it out there.  In the year 2525, I would be 544 years old.  Yikes...

Of course, none of us will know what life would be like five hundred years in the future, but the year 2525 in this Zager and Evans song seems to be the start of the downfall of mankind. 

It's also probably one of the only songs ever released that seems to combine scientific themes with religious themes, as we see both mentioned in this song!

Basically the many verses of the song asks many rhetorical questions about what would happen in the 800 years that pass between the years 2525 and 10000.  Each verse goes up 1,010 years to the next year (with exception to the years 7510 and 8510), and a prediction is made about each millennium - the next one more dire than the last.

In fact, I've drafted up a nice little summary right here.

2525 - Zager and Evans wonder if man and woman can still survive

3535 - Everybody's actions will be controlled by ingesting a single pill

4545 - You won't need your teeth or your eyes because you won't find a thing to chew and nobody will look at you

5555 - Machines will do all the work that people used to do

6565 - No need for sexual reproduction.  There are machines that can help you do that, right down to choosing what sex you want your child to be

7510 - The possibility that God will come down to enact His "Judgment Day".

8510 - God decides whether he is happy about mankind's progress or whether he just wants to end it all.

9595 - Wondering if man can survive because they've taken everything the planet can give and given back nothing in return

10000 - The extinction of man

Wow! Now there's a song that makes you want to jump up and dance, isn't it?  



Of course, this isn't the first time pop culture has predicted a dystopian future in which man would find it difficult to survive and thrive.  We've seen this type of scenario unfold in movies like "Escape From New York" and "Blade Runner".  In television series like "Revolution".  In video games like "Chrono Trigger" and the "Final Fantasy" series.  We've even seen this sort of thing in the Disney movie "Wall-E".  But this song in particular seemed to strike a nerve in a lot of people, because it seemed to tell the world that if we keep continuing on in our wasteful ways, we could end up wiping ourselves off the face of the planet.

Let's put it this way.  I don't think it was a coincidence that Earth Day kicked off one year after this song became a chart-topper.

But you know, looking back at the lyrics of the song, I think that some of those predictions are in danger of coming true centuries ahead of schedule.  We already live in a world in which many of us are too dependent of technology.  I'm sure you've seen the "smartphones making us dumb" epidemic as of late.  And how many of us have said to ourselves "boy, technology makes this even more convenient than it used to be"?  Admit it, we've all said it.

The problem with technology is that not everyone in the world knows how to use it - or knows how to use it the right way.  And the more we rely on it to make our decisions for us, the more things get out of control.  If that makes any sense, that is.  At least it did for me when I wrote it.

Of course, what is the solution?  I don't know if there is one.  But if you stop and think about all of the astronauts who marveled in awe at what our planet looks like from up in space, it is a truly beautiful sight to see.  Wouldn't we all do whatever is possible to keep this place a beautiful one?

Just something to think about.