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Friday, September 12, 2014

What's In a Name?

Okay, so this is going to be an entry that starts off being a FOODIE FRIDAY entry, but might turn out to be more like a WHO AM I WEDNESDAY entry.  So, I suppose we could call today WRIDAY?  Or perhaps FREDNESDAY?

Whatever you want to call it, this is the story of a particular beverage, and how it will become a discussion about names.



By now, I'm sure you have seen the latest promotion that soft drink company Coca-Cola launched this summer.  For presumably a limited time only, you can buy bottles and cans of Coca-Cola in all three varieties (Coca-Cola, Diet Coke, Coke Zero) with a person's name stamped on the label.  The labels tell you to share a Coke with the person on the label, but let's face it - most of us really just wanted to find a Coke with our names on it.

Now, I don't know what the name selection was like in the United States, but one thing I noticed in Canada was the unique selection of names that appeared on 591 mL bottles of Coke products.  Sure, you had common names such as Jennifer, Stephanie, Lauren, Michael, Steven, and Benjamin.  But you also had names like Preet, Shabnam, Zhang, Chen, and Mohammad.  Very cool for Coca-Cola to really release global names so that more people could have the chance to find their name on a Coke label.

Of course, if you spell your name with a unique spelling (like Elizabyth, Rochelle, or Kymberlyn), well...you might have to custom order your special Coca-Cola bottle.

Now, I'll tell you something.  It took me forever to find a bottle with my name on it.  And, it's not as though the name Matthew is all that uncommon of a name.  I'll get to that story a little bit later on, but I have dealt with this kind of frustration before.  One day, I was literally rummaging through every Coke product that was available looking for my name.  It seemed as though they had every other "M" name available.  Madison, Maurice, Melanie, Mick, Michelle, heck, I think I even found a Mordecai in the pile.  But it would take me about three weeks before I found my bottle.



And, here it is up above!  Granted, it's Diet Coke, but given that it had my name on it, I didn't care what kind of beverage it was.  Interestingly enough, once I found that bottle, I ended up doing a triple play, finding one each of Coke, Diet Coke, and Coke Zero with the name "Matthew" on it. 

I couldn't believe my luck!  I never usually have any sort of luck finding my name.  Why, until recently, I always seemed to have a huge problem locating any sort of personalized object with my name on it!

Now, to explain the reason why this was the case, we have to go back in time about...oh...thirty-three and one-quarter years ago to May 1981.  That was the month that yours truly first got a glimpse of this crazy place known as Planet Earth.  And for the first three days of my life, I did NOT have a name.

Yeah, I'll be perfectly honest.  In my family, I was known as the "Uh-Oh".  I wasn't planned at all.  Take into consideration that my siblings are nine and fifteen years older than I am.  My parents were both in their mid-thirties at the time of my birth.  The last thing they wanted to do before their sixteenth wedding anniversary was have another child - and yet, here I came!  So, needless to say, I don't think giving me a name was really a top priority.  They didn't even know what sex I was until the day I was born.

SNARKY COMMENT:  I mean, it's not like they didn't have time to discuss it.  I was born three weeks past my expected due date of April 30, 1981! 

Anyway, the reason why it took my family three whole days to come up with a name for me was because nobody could agree on one.  Granted, the middle name was pretty easy to figure out (and no, I won't reveal my middle name in public, though some of you reading this probably already know it).  But the first name was the kicker.

Here are some of the names that my family came up with that eventually went on the reject pile.



Name #1:  Dakota

Okay, to me, Dakota is a name that would work better for females.  I don't know what it is about Dakota that my dad thought was so great - maybe because it sounded western (my dad is like the very definition of country boy), or maybe because North Dakota is his favourite American state...I don't know.  Whatever the case, he liked the name Dakota.  And, granted, Dakota is a nice name.  I know friends who have named their children Dakota (all daughters, might I add), and actress Dakota Fanning certainly made a name for herself from child to adult.

I just don't think Dakota Turcotte has that nice ring to it.  Do you?

Name #2:  Cody

Now, Cody was my mom's original idea.  And, it was sort of a way to appease my dad because she explained that Cody was an abbreviated version of the name "Dakota".  But, honestly, I think my mom was just trying to tell my father in a nice way that there was no way in hell that she wanted a son named Dakota!

Here's the thing.  Cody is a fairly nice name.  I have nothing against it.  I just don't think that I would make a very good Cody.  Let Kathie Lee Gifford name her child Cody.  That's fine for him.  He actually kind of looks like a Cody.  I don't think I look like a Cody. 

Name #3:  Schuyler

Ah, yes.  Schuyler (pronounced like Skylar).  To be honest with you, I could probably think of worse names that my sisters could have come up with.  Truth be told, I have nothing against this name possibility at all.  I quite like the name myself.  What I didn't really like was the reason why they wanted to name me Schuyler.

You see, my sisters were fifteen and nearly nine when I was born.  And for the sake of argument, I'll just mention that their first names are Dawn and Starr.  Now, I really don't have any idea how my parents came up with the name Dawn.  Maybe they just felt that it was a beautiful name, and they went with it.  But in the case of Starr, my father was the brainchild behind that name, naming her after the character that Shirley Temple played in the film "Captain January". 

(Though admittedly, I'd have been more impressed if they told me they named her after Ringo Starr.  Now that would have been cool!)

Anyway, their names also have to do with - wait for it - the sky!  The period between night and early morning is typically known as "dawn".  And at nighttime, you can often see "stars" in the sky.  Ergo, by naming me Schuyler, they could give me the nickname of "Sky", and then we'd be Dawn, Starr, Sky.

You see why I am so happy that they voted NO on that name?  How cheesy could you get?  Well, that plus when I was in school, I had to deal with a rather unpleasant person who also happened to have a similar name.  Yeah, given that, I'm sort of glad that they denied that name.

Actually, given my parents love of old school country, my sister's love of Kiss, and my other sister's love of Duran Duran, it's a wonder I wasn't named "Merle", "Gene", or "Simon LeBon".

So, how did they end up naming me Matthew?  Simple.  They looked at a baby book and chose the most popular name for boys.  Back in '81, that was "Matthew".  Actually, between 1981 and 2000, it was practically in the Top 5 for twenty consecutive years!  My second grade teacher nearly had a coronary when she discovered that there were SIX Matthews in her classroom!

So, now I suppose that you know where I am going with this.  With so many Matthews in the world, finding keychains, pens, T-shirts, and other pieces of memorabilia became as difficult as Indiana Jones' quest in finding that golden idol that releases that boulder in "Raiders of the Lost Ark"!  It was so frustrating going to different stores and seeing the "Matthew" section always sold out of items.  I cursed the fact that my parents had to choose a popular name because I could never find anything with my name on it.  It wouldn't be until I hit my thirties that it became a lot easier.

I'm sure that anyone named Liam, Noah, or Ethan in 2014 can relate to what anyone named Matthew, Jason, or Michael had to endure in 1984.

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Mork & Mindy

I still can't believe that it's been a month since actor Robin Williams died.  I know that we've all grieved his loss over the last thirty-one days, and I'm sure that many of us have certainly watched a marathon of his films at some point after his passing.  But Robin Williams was such a huge presence in Hollywood that it still seems like a dream.

I mean, I can still remember just days after his death, customers at the store I work at swarmed the electronics area looking for every single movie that they could get their hands on that featured him in a starring, or even a supporting role. 

I certainly remember scanning my fair share of copies of "Hook", "Mrs. Doubtfire", "Patch Adams", "The Fisher King", "Awakenings", "Jumanji", "RV", and even some of his recent films such as "The Big Wedding" and "The Angriest Man in Brooklyn" through the cash register.  Eerily enough, the day after he died was the day that we reset our movie section, and there was a LOT of Robin Williams movies in the movie plans.  It was certainly a huge coincidence that we'd have so many of his movies added onto the new movie set-up! 

Now, certainly, Robin Williams had an extensive film library.  From "Good Morning Vietnam" and "Dead Poets Society" to "Good Will Hunting" and "Happy Feet", he certainly made his mark on Hollywood.  But he also was a recognizable face on television as well.  Most recently, he starred in the short-lived series "The Crazy Ones" which also featured Sarah Michelle Gellar and James Wolk.

However, for today's blog entry - on this, Tube Talk Thursday - I thought I'd devote today to the television show that first made Williams a star.  It was really the first time that any of us really got to see him in action, and yet after just a few episodes, the general public could automatically tell that he was meant to do great things. 

Even show producer Garry Marshall saw something in the then 26-year-old actor.  When they first met, Robin was auditioning for a guest starring role on the already established sitcom "Happy Days".  It was early 1978, and Marshall was looking to fill a rather...unusual part.  The story goes that at the audition, Garry had asked Robin to have a seat, and Robin did - upside down!



Is it any wonder that Robin ended up getting the part on the spot with such a response?  Turns out that the role was almost custom made for him, as in February 1978, Robin made his very first appearance as Mork from Ork, a space alien who ended up on Earth and paid Richie Cunningham and his family a visit on an episode of "Happy Days".  Mork was on a mission to bring Richie back to Mork's home planet as a human specimen, but the plan was foiled by Richie's best friend, Fonzie. 

Now the initial airing of the "Happy Days" episode had Richie dreaming the whole thing, but in subsequent airings on ABC and in syndication, the show's ending was re-filmed where Mork actually erases the memories of everyone involved in the "Happy Days" episode so that the event really did happen.

Why would they do this?  Well, it turns out that Mork's appearance on "Happy Days" was an absolute hit in the ratings, and fans of the show couldn't get enough of Mork. 



So, the decision was made to give Mork his own series just a few months later.  All Mork needed was a love interest to get the ball rolling.  Perhaps a young woman named Mindy played by Pam Dawber?



And that is how "Mork & Mindy" was born.

Hard to believe that it has been over thirty years since the series last aired on television.  But considering that the show lasted for four seasons (September 14, 1978 - May 27, 1982 to be exact), I'd call that a success story. 

Of course, I was only a year old when the show ended, so unfortunately I had to wait until the show aired in reruns before I had the opportunity to enjoy it.  But, boy oh boy did I ever love it when I finally watched it.  And for fans of the show in DVD Region 1, the first three seasons are available on DVD box sets.  Still no word on whether Season 4 will ever be released on DVD though.  I guess you never can tell.

Anyway, the story of Mork & Mindy is this.  Mork arrives on Earth (circa 1978) in his egg shaped spaceship where he has been given an assignment by his superior, Orson (voiced by Ralph James) to observe human behaviour on Earth.  In actuality, Ork is a planet in which humour is forbidden (what a sad place to be!) and Orson sends Mork to Earth so that he will be out of his hair.

Who knew that Mork's arrival in the state of Colorado would end up turning into the best four years of his life?

Now, part of Mork's plan to blend into human society is to dress the part.  And Mork happened to find a rather groovy looking suit to wear in hopes of fitting in.  The problem is that he dresses himself backwards, and when he happens to cross paths with Mindy, she mistakes him for being a priest (as his backwards suit jacket sort of resembles a priest's collar).  She has just had an argument with her boyfriend, and Mork tries to offer comfort in his own alien manner.  But the jig is up when Mindy notices that Mork's clothing is on backwards, and Mork reveals that he is really an alien from outer space.

Now, you might think that this news would make Mindy run screaming for the hills, but Mindy's heart was as pure as freshly fallen snow, and she felt for the guy.  Rather than abandon him, she takes him in to live in her attic.



Of course, this causes problems for Mindy as Mindy's father (Conrad Janis) disapproves of Mindy sharing her home with an unmarried man.  On the flipside, Mindy's grandmother (Elizabeth Kerr) loves Mork, and is much more accepting of the friendship between Mork and Mindy.

Of course, living with Mork is also incredibly challenging for Mindy.  You see, Mork is completely clueless about the cultures of Earth, and some traditions that might be considered a good deed on Earth could be a grave insult on Mork's home planet, and vice versa.  And Mindy really had to work overtime to try and steer Mork in the right direction a lot of the time which naturally lead to major hilarity.  But why would I talk about it when I can show you instead?  Have a look at these video clips!



And as the show progressed, we ended up seeing quite a lot of star power on this series.  After all, Morgan Fairchild played the recurring role of Mindy's friend from high school during season one.  Comedian Jay Thomas played Remo DaVinci for the last three years of the show, the man who owned the deli in which Mork and Mindy hung out at.  And when Mork and Mindy got married and had a child together, that child was played by Jonathan Winters (on Mork's planet, people age backwards).

Perhaps the best part about the show was at the end of each episode was the segment where Mork calls Orson at the end of another day to report back to what he has learned from being on Earth.  And, here is one poignant example for you to watch.



All in all, "Mork & Mindy" was the show that really made both Pam Dawber and Robin Williams big stars.  Pam went on to marry actor Mark Harmon and she would star in "My Sister Sam" and a few films.  And of course, we know just how brightly Robin's star shined.



One interesting, yet sad footnote to add to this blog entry.  Just four months before Robin's death, Robin had the chance to reunite with his "Mork & Mindy" co-star, Pam Dawber on "The Crazy Ones".  And just as they had done thirty years earlier, Pam revealed that even now she had great difficulty keeping a straight face whenever she and Robin would do a scene together.  More often than not, Pam really had to keep it together to prevent the scene from being scrapped on "Mork & Mindy" due to Robin's tendency to ad-lib everything, and it seemed as though very little had changed.

At any rate, it was really nice to see Robin and Pam work together one last time. 

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Lessons From School I Needed to "Un-Learn"

Well, I hope you're ready for another WHO AM I WEDNESDAY entry, because this one is going to be quite a big topic for me to write about.

It's also one that I've talked about before, and one that talks about the subject of being bullied - which as many of you know by now, I endured more than my fair share of it.

But this one has a bit of a twist to it.  You see, when it comes to the kids that I went to school with, I've finally made peace with it.  Sure, there are some people who really did hurt me, and I have absolutely no desire to reconnect with them.  And honestly, I think there are some people who genuinely had no idea how their words and actions really did hurt in the grand scheme of things.  However, the reason that I can forgive them is because back then they were children who really didn't know any better.  They couldn't really understand how their actions really made people feel.  It doesn't make what they did right by any means, but I just hope that they grew out of that sort of behaviour as they became adults.

But what happens when you are being bullied by someone who is supposed to be an authority figure?  Someone who is supposed to have your best interests at heart?  Someone whose job is to make you feel confident and empowered about learning new things, but instead makes you feel scared and inferior about life in general?

Well, bullying by children, I can forgive.  Bullying by teachers?  Inexcusable.

Here's my story about the lessons that one particular teacher tried to teach me about myself...and I've also provided lessons from other teachers that I have had along the way to try and disprove or discredit the teacher who seemingly made it her mission to "fix what wasn't broken".



September 10, 2014

I think that it must be some sort of prerequisite for most children to despise their first grade teacher.  In most cases, whenever I engage someone in conversation about teachers that they liked or disliked, most people I've spoken to disliked or even hated their first grade teachers.  And, I often wondered why that was. 

I guess the most obvious reason could be because Grade 1 is really one of the toughest years to get through in school.  I know some people might shake their heads in disbelief over that statement, thinking that high school classes are much tougher than elementary school ones.  But when I was a kid, kindergarten was only a half a day, and kindergarten was more or less a place where all you did was paint pictures, play with building blocks, and burying other kids in the sandbox.

(Oh, wait.  You weren't supposed to do that last one.  My bad.)

Therefore, the transition from kindergarten into the full-day Grade 1 where you actually had to do schoolwork without the benefit of a mid-afternoon nap was a tough one.  Grade 1 really was that whole transition point between still being a kid and actually becoming more and more responsible.  Maybe that could explain why first grade teachers seem to be more strict than other teachers.  Their jobs are to teach you the basic fundamental skills that are necessary to get through life.  And sometimes those lessons don't necessarily involve addition and subtraction, or nouns and verbs.

Unfortunately, I was saddled with a teacher who taught me a whole bunch of life lessons that I never really should have been taught in the first place.  Instead, she taught me things about myself that most other teachers would have likely been terminated for.  And it took the kindness and caring of other teachers and other adult figures in my life to help me realize that her "lessons" were more harmful than good.

So, aside from reading, writing, and arithmetic, what lessons did this first grade teacher of mine teach me?

LESSON #1:  YOU'RE DIFFERENT.  AND THAT'S BAD.

When I entered the first grade, I admittedly marched to the beat of my own drum.  Some of this was intentional, but a lot of it I couldn't control.  I used to hold my crayon in a fist motion because I couldn't figure out what the proper way was to hold it.  In fact, when I was in school, I didn't even think that there WAS a proper way to hold a pencil because as long as the teacher could read my name, that was all that counted in my eyes.  But according to Grade 1 teacher, that was not acceptable.  I mean, I suppose I could understand the reasoning behind it.  You do get more control holding a pencil the way that most people hold them. 

That said, I don't think she had the right to make a big deal in front of class of me having special crayons and pencils with those big triangular blocks on them to draw attention to the fact that I did things differently from the other kids.  I especially didn't like the fact that I didn't have a green crayon and she actually gave me trouble for using a crayon that didn't have those pyramids of imperfection  attached to them.  She basically humiliated me in class on purpose because she didn't like the way that I held a pencil.

WHO HELPED DISPROVE HER LESSON?

Well, pretty much any other teacher that I had.  Unlike my first grade teacher, who basically believed that I was worthless unless I knew how to hold a pencil correctly, the others instead focused on the skills that I did have.  I may not have been a great pencil holder, but I certainly did do well in other aspects of the class.  Well, at least the academic portion of the classroom, anyway.

LESSON #2:  YOU WALK DIFFERENTLY?  NOT IN MY CLASSROOM!

I've talked about this before in the blog years ago, but if you're just tuning in, here's the Cliff Notes version.  Back when I was a kid, my arches in my feet didn't properly develop.  As a result, it made it incredibly difficult to walk flat-footed without feeling any pain.  It was a problem that eventually corrected itself, but between first and fifth grades, I had to walk on my tip toes in order not to feel pain.  I didn't expect that the kids would understand this, but I did expect that the teacher would have been kind and sympathetic about it.

She wasn't.  Not only would she refuse to let me go to the bathroom without promising in front of the class that I would walk flat footed, but she also arranged to have a social worker take me out of class so that I could walk around the school with books on my head to correct my posture.

Long story short, she made me feel as though I was broken or damaged because I didn't walk to her standards, and she wanted the whole school to single me out in hopes of embarrassing me enough that I would walk the way she wanted me to walk without completely understanding that I couldn't.  It was a living nightmare to endure, and I honestly think the decisions made by my teacher, and the school administration for allowing such a thing to go on destroyed my self-esteem. 

WHO HELPED DISPROVE THAT LESSON?

I guess in a way, I am.  All by myself.  Eventually, my walking style did correct itself on its own, and once that happened, kids were a lot less cruel about my walking style.  But honestly I still feel like I have issues with self-worth because of that teacher.  Many times I still feel like I push people away who get too close because I feel as though I'm too different from them because of what I was told by that teacher.  It's been a real struggle to try and find out who I really am as a result of what I went through, and I'm getting better at it each day.  But, again...that second lesson she taught me stuck for a really, really long time.

LESSON #3:  I TREAT EVERYONE THE SAME WAY...EXCEPT YOU.

I'm sure if you've ever been a student at any given time, you were asked to raise money for the school in a variety of different ways.  At our school, we sold wrapping paper, boxes of chocolates, and other holiday pieces every Christmas.  And school fundraising meant that every kid received an order form to take home to their families and friends so that a portion of all the sales made would go towards improving the school (things like buying new books for the library, or providing new gym equipment).

At least, every kid was SUPPOSED to get one.

I was the only kid in my class who did NOT get a booklet.  And the way the teacher kept talking about the fundraising drive while purposely handing out booklets to every other kid in the class, it made me think that something was not right.  So, after school ended, I went to her desk and asked her why I couldn't have a book, and her response was that she had run out.  Yet, I could clearly see that she had four extra booklets that she could have given me.  I didn't think much of it at the time, but now that I'm older, I knew what the jig was.  She purposely denied me my right to fundraise as a sort of punishment in not being like everyone else in the class.  This was her almost making a point that I would not be seen in the same regard as the rest of my classmates, and that was inexcusable.

WHO HELPED DISPROVE THAT LESSON?

Honestly, I would give the credit to my second grade teacher, Miss Johnson.  Not only did she encourage all of us to do fundraising activities (and yes, she made sure I got a fundraising order form that year), but she was so supportive of everyone who raised money that it made me want to sell as much as possible.

Coincidentally, it's only a shame that my first grade teacher denied me the right to sell anything that year.  I only ended up being the kid who came in second for most funds raised for three consecutive years in the early 1990s.  I mean, granted, I only sold for the prize incentive...but if that school only realized just how much money I could have raised for them that year, maybe they would have been more interested in stepping in and stopping the emotional abuse that teacher inflicted on me.

Because let's face it.  What she did to me was abuse.  Abuse that would no longer be tolerated inside of a classroom.

LESSON #4:  IF I HAD MY WAY, I WOULD HOLD YOU BACK IN CLASS TO TEACH YOU A LESSON.

Believe it or not, my first grade teacher flunked quite a few kids.  If memory serves me, at least four kids in my class were held back from completing first grade at the end of the year.  That seems insane to me.

What I didn't find out until later was that my teacher actually lobbied to have me repeat the first grade too!  And, I honestly was so angry at that fact because I didn't think I did anything that would warrant me being held back.  I read at an eighth grade level in first grade, and my French teacher often commented about my "photographic memory".  Oh, sure, I had a hard time getting along with some of the kids in my class, but my teacher's actions encouraged that behaviour, so there wasn't a whole lot that I could do about it.  But that wasn't enough to keep me stuck in the first grade, and the school agreed that not passing me into the second grade would have caused me more harm than good (nice that you thought of my welfare then, but not during the 1987-1988 school year, school admins).  I mean, if you're going to hold me back a year, make it a good enough reason instead of having a personal grudge against me.  And for that matter, maybe if that teacher had used her attention to help the other kids in the class who were struggling instead of inventing new ways to make my experience in her class a living hell, perhaps everyone in the class would have moved onto the next grade.

WHO HELPED DISPROVE THAT LESSON?

Ironically enough, the very kids who used to pick on me were the ones who saw that there was no reason why the teacher should have held me back.  After all, they did copy off of my paper when I wasn't looking.  I honestly don't know if they actually learned anything, but the fact that they deemed me smart enough to copy from meant that I had to be doing something right.  And any of the teachers that I had who encouraged my talents helped me realize that the school shouldn't have even entertained the possibility of being held back another year.  From my sixth grade teacher Mrs. Woodfine who encouraged me to write down how I was feeling (though I imagine if she finds this blog, she'll think that she created a monster), to my twelfth grade math teacher Mr. Wright who helped make mathematics fun again after having a negative experience in grade eleven, I knew that depending on the teacher, I was capable of taking a lot of lessons from the classroom and applying them to real life in a positive way.

Needless to say, the teacher that I had in first grade left the school just a couple of months after I went into grade two.  I'd like to think that I broke her, even though I imagine that the real reason came from the fact that so many of her pupils failed her class and the parents of those kids likely made the school terminate her.  In some ways, I wish that more could have been done to stop her from abusing me the way she did.  My parents certainly tried their best to get the abuse to stop, but nothing they did seemed to work.  She got away with making me feel inferior to everyone else, and in many ways, I blame her for a lot of the abuse that I sustained at the hands of my classmates because she was basically teaching the rest of the class that it was okay to bully and belittle other people who were different from them.


But you know what?  I'm a survivor.  And while the scars still remain over what she did to me...it gives me comfort knowing that at least the kids who entered my elementary school after she left would never have to endure the life lessons taught by a mad woman whose bitterness and anger in her own life should have never been inflicted on any of her students.

Tuesday, September 09, 2014

September 9, 1999

Hey, guys!  It is time for another Tuesday Timeline flashback on this, the ninth day of the ninth month of the year.  And when it comes to this week's topic, the number nine makes a lot of appearances in today's timeline date.

I'm sure you'll figure out pretty quickly what I mean by that.

Of course, before we get into today's date, we have some other things to talk about.  We'll get to famous birthdays in a minute.  For now, have a look at some of the worldwide events that took place throughout history on September 9.

1087 - William Rufus is sworn in as King of England (under the Royal title of King William II) 

1513 - The Battle of Flodden takes place which sees the defeat of James IV of Scotland

1543 - Mary Stuart is crowned "Queen of Scots" - at just nine months old!

1739 - The Stono Rebellion - the largest slave uprising in Britain's North American colonies - occurs near Charleston, South Carolina

1776 - The Continental Congress officially names its new union of sovereign states the United States of America

1791 - The capital of the United States is named Washington, D.C., after its first president, George Washington

1839 - John Herschel becomes the first person to take the first glass plate photograph

1850 - California becomes the thirty-first American state

1914 - The Canadian Automobile Machine Gun Brigade is created to aid British armed forces during World War I

1926 - The National Broadcasting Company (NBC) is founded

1940 - George Stibitz pioneers the first remote operation of a computer

1941 - Singer Otis Redding (d. 1967) is born in Dawson, Georgia

1945 - The Empire of Japan formally surrenders to China

1947 - A moth lodges in a relay of a Harvard Mark II computer, coining the phrase "computer bug"

1956 - First appearance of Elvis Presley on "The Ed Sullivan Show"

1965 - Hurricane Betsy makes second landfall near New Orleans, Louisiana, killing 76 people and causing over a billion dollars in damage

1969 - The Official Languages Act comes into force, officially making the Canadian federal government bilingual

1971 - The Attica Prison Riot begins - 39 people lose their lives over the four-day event

1997 - Actor Burgess Meredith dies at the age of 89

1999 - Baseball player Catfish Hunter passes away at the age of 53

2004 - The 2004 Australian Embassy bombing in Jakarta kills 10 people

2010 - Eight people are killed following a natural gas pipeline explosion in San Bruno, California - the blast creating a "wall of fire" more than 1,000 feet high

And, for celebrity birthdays, we have a long list of birthday greetings.  A very happy birthday to Bernard Bailyn, Sylvia Miles, Carlos Ortiz, Pamela Des Barres, Joe Theismann, Robert Desidario, Tom Wopat, Angela Cartwright, Dave Stewart (Eurythmics), Jeffrey Combs, Colin Murdock, Hugh Grant, Kimberly Willis Holt, Chip Esten, Michelle Johnson, Constance Marie, Adam Sandler, B.J. Armstrong, Rachel Hunter, Eric Stonestreet, Goran Visnjic, Divine Brown, Gok Wan, Michael Buble, Nikki DeLoach, Michelle Williams, Clayton Snyder, Jo Woodcock, and Charlie Stewart.

I should note that when I mention Divine Brown, I don't mean the prostitute that Hugh Grant slept with back in 1995.  I'm actually talking about the Canadian singer named Divine Brown.  But, boy is that not strange that Hugh Grant would share a birthday with someone named Divine Brown!

Anyway, what date are we going back to?  Well, I guess you could say that it's a date where you can dress up to the nines because there happens to be a lot of nines in the date!



We're going back fifteen years to September 9, 1999.  Or 9/9/99, if you like.

Now, a lot happened on what could be considered the day of "El Nine-nio".  As mentioned earlier, famed baseball player Catfish Hunter died on this day.  As well, the sixteenth annual MTV Video Music Awards aired on this date which featured rapper L'il Kim in what could be considered one of the most questionable outfits to ever be seen at an awards show in the 1990s.  Click HERE to see a photo of that wardrobe disaster.

But something else was happening on this date as well.  Something that was taking place in the world of video gaming. 

Now, unfortunately, this event was considered to be the swan song of one particular video game console manufacturer (although the company still exists in some format), but still, you have to give them credit for at least trying something that really changed the way that we looked at video games. 



How many of you have heard of the video game company known as SEGA?  The company began in Honolulu back in 1940 under its original name of "Service Games", and between 1940 and 1980, the company merged with a company started up by David Rosen called Rosen Enterprises - a Tokyo based company that began manufacturing and importing coin operated games, just as Service Games had been doing for years.  By the mid 1960s, Rosen Enterprises and Service Games merged together, and a new company - SEGA - was born.

TRIVIA:  The name SEGA is actually taken from the first two letters in each of the two words that made up SErvice GAmes.

It wasn't until 1982 that SEGA jumped into the video game console market, with their first console being the SG-1000.  Unfortunately, SEGA had some stiff competition from Atari, Intellivision, and Coleco Games, and by the time they had started to find their footing, the video game crash of 1984 happened, and the industry was in danger of collapsing.



With Nintendo's arrival in 1985 in the North American market, the video game industry rebounded in a huge way, and the following year, SEGA decided to compete against Nintendo in a huge way by launching their Sega Master System, followed closely by the SEGA Genesis in 1988-1989.  And certainly through the world of SEGA, brand new video game characters were launched such as Alex Kid, Ecco the Dolphin, Ristar, and of course, Sonic the Hedgehog.  And many people argue that when it came down to comparing SEGA games to the rival Nintendo, SEGA games had better quality of music files and better, more colourful graphics.  But throughout the video game wars of the 1990s, Nintendo almost always seemed to stay one step ahead of their competition by promoting the heck out of their own creations which included Super Mario, Donkey Kong, Link, Samus Aran, and Mega Man. 

Add the launch of the Sony PlayStation in 1995, and SEGA found it harder and harder to compete.  They attempted to keep up with the PlayStation and the Nintendo 64 consoles by releasing the SEGA Saturn in 1995, but the console was considered a failure and only saw a limited release in the United States.

By the late 1990s, SEGA was trying to stay relevant in the game console battle, and the company thought that they had found a way to make it happen.  What the company created was a console that paved the way for the sixth generation consoles - one that featured a 16 MB RAM (quite good for the 1990s), an 8 MB GPU, and 128-bit graphics (all other consoles on the market at that time reached a peak of 64-bit graphics).



It was originally launched in Japan in late 1998 - but on September 9, 1999, this console was released in the United States and Canada, and initially, it looked like the SEGA Dreamcast would be the console that would give SEGA a second wind!

Consider the time period in which the Dreamcast was launched.  It was in between console releases by the other two competing video game manufacturers at the time.  This was at a time before Microsoft even launched their popular XBOX console!  By that time, the PlayStation console and the Nintendo 64 had been around for at least three years, and development of brand new consoles were still quite a while away.  So, the timing of the SEGA Dreamcast was great.

And for what it was worth, the SEGA Dreamcast seemed to receive a lot of buzz, with some 300,000 consoles being pre-ordered prior to its release.  After all, 128-bit graphics were considered revolutionary for that period in time, and it also helped that SEGA seemed to take a page out of Nintendo's books and promoted the heck out of the console in commercials such as the one below.



The console release dates were staggered worldwide as well, which likely spawned the anticipation of the video game console and games.  After Japan's 1998 release and America's September 9, 1999 release, the UK and Europe released their own version in October 1999, and Australia soon followed with a release of their own in November.



TRIVIA:  Depending on where you were in the world, your Dreamcast might have had a different logo.  Most of the consoles had a red swirl for a symbol, but in PAL regions, the swirl was changed to blue, as a German video game publisher already used a red swirl logo.

And, the system also had some really decent titles to accompany its launch into the console market.  With titles such as "SoulCalibur", "Sonic Adventure", "Marvel vs. Capcom", and "NFL 2K", the system's first year on the market was incredibly successful, and all signs pointed to the Dreamcast being a real jewel in the world of console gaming.

So, what happened?  How did the Dreamcast become a nightmare? 

Well, finances were a huge factor behind it.

Yes, the Dreamcast did extremely well in both Europe and North America.  But in Japan, sales were at an all-time low.  Sales were so low that the company ended up with a $412 million loss at the end of the first quarter of 2000.  This amounted to double the loss that SEGA had anticipated at this time.  By September 2000, SEGA had continued to lose money for a third straight year since the failure of the SEGA Saturn, and the decision was made in 2001 to discontinue the production of the console.  By 2002, the system and its games were no longer being produced - the last game produced in North America being "NHL 2K2". 

According to former president and CEO of Sega of America, Bernie Stolar, the Dreamcast stopped production because the new chairman of the company wanted to focus on software instead of consoles.  But it probably didn't help matters much that Sony released its PlayStation 2 console right around the same time that sales began to drop dramatically for the Dreamcast.  With the PlayStation 2 boasting record sales, as well as Nintendo launching its Gamecube console a year later, the final nail in the coffin was drilled in permanently.

The Dreamcast remained in stores for approximately a couple of years after production stopped, and as of 2014, the Dreamcast remains the last console that SEGA ever produced.  Interestingly enough, Nintendo and Sony have released SEGA Genesis compilations and Sonic the Hedgehog games for their consoles, which still boast the SEGA name.

Yes, fifteen years ago, SEGA had a dream.  Their dream was to release the Dreamcast to the world and hoped to revolutionize the world of video gaming - which they did for the first year of the console's release.  Unfortunately, the dream was not to last, and sadly, the Dreamcast ended up being the console that would end SEGA's competition in the console video game industry.

Life is but a dream.  At least SEGA of America will always have September 9, 1999...

Monday, September 08, 2014

I Ordered WHAT?!?

As many of you are well aware, I cancelled the FOODIE FRIDAY posting for this past week due to the death of Joan Rivers this past Thursday.  I used that space to talk about some memories that I had of her - right down to the instance where I found a comedy album of hers that was not meant for the average seven year old listener.

So, because of that, I decided to make this edition of
FUNNY MONDAY all about food!

Specifically, menu items.

Now, when it comes to dining out at restaurants, diners, or even a hot dog stand on the corner of a downtown intersection, 99% of the time, they are going to have a menu posted either in a book format, or plastered over top of the cash register area.  And, 99% of the time, that menu will be spelled correctly and present the information that you need to know in an easy and orderly fashion.

It's that 1% that we'll be featuring in this space.

Granted, many of these examples that I will be showing you today will feature examples from foreign countries or Chinese food places - because let's be honest.  Engrish can be fun!  But I found quite a few other surprises to share as well.  And, of course, there will be some commentary from me along the way.

But of course, I have to give credit where credit is due, and I wish to thank acidcow.com, Pinterest, pleated-jeans.com, Buzzfeed, and oddee.com for the examples provide here.

Are you ready to begin?



For some reason, I don't see myself standing in line at Subway just to sample one of THOSE subs.  I especially don't see myself paying twenty bucks for that flavourful combination.



Wow...um...yeah.  Um.  No comment on this one.  I'm actually rendered speechless.



You see, this is what happens when you use Google Translate on your map.  You literally get a hodgepodge of stuff that doesn't make any sense whatsoever.  Though, it'd be interesting to see pig hearts tossed onto the ceiling.



You want me to do WHAT to the roasting chicken?!?



Well, I would think that if I was to have my head and feet removed, plucked to nakedness, and broiled in an oven at over 350 degrees, I'd be rude and unreasonable too!



Funny.  I don't recall Campbell's ever making that flavour...



AWESOME!  Can we have that surcharge added to my workplace?  With the amount I get any given day, I could have retired three years ago!



Um...yeah.  After the first item on that list, I don't even care that they spelled the heading "MAIN COURSE" incorrectly.



So, what exactly is the difference between these two types of chicken that would make it seem more "real".  I can tell you.  Three dollars and five cents.



Wait.  I'm confused.  Does this mean that you get measles after eating at this restaurant, or do they actually serve the virus that causes measles on your plate?  Either way, YUCKY!



I've heard of people enjoying bacon (myself being one of them), but this is going a little bit overboard.



Oooooh, PETA's not going to like this at all!



Actually, on second thought, this disclaimer actually makes the previous post seem tame in comparison!



One of these things is not like the other,
One of these things just isn't the same,
If you can't guess which thing is not like the other,
You might be insane.



"You can't sub a potato for another beer."  Unfortunately.



For some reason, before this menu was corrected, I had this image of people ordering a burger and being followed by a herd of sheep, like in the nursery rhyme "Mary Had a Little Lamb".  Or in New Zealand.



And, what's wrong with the boy chicken, Wendy's?  I know that forty years ago there was a women's lib movement, but come on.  Isn't this placard a little bit sexist towards male chickens?  I...oh, hold on a sec.

Oh, wait...they EAT the girl chicken?  Oh, ahem.  Carry on.  :)



Wow...I know they have a one child per family rule in China, but offering a free child with your meal is a little much, don't you think?



I can't say that I've ever ordered a gym shoe at a fast food place, but if I were to order two of these meals, I'd have a new pair of shoes for just under five dollars!  You can't beat that deal!



Wow.  Beer on the children's menu!  Must be from Europe.



Total cost of burrito in my case?  $73.10.



Why would anyone buy broken glass for $2.39 a pound?  You could smash up your fine china for free!  Oh, wait.  Buying broken glass at a restaurant...yeah, that's different.



I'm assuming that this classified ad really means "LEBANESE" dishes.  I'm assuming anyway.



Oh, the joys of unfortunate restaurant names...