For
this week's edition of FUNNY MONDAY, I thought that I would try
something new by making the topic of discussion about something old.
Yeah,
somewhere in my mind, that made sense.
Anyway,
I thought that I would make this entry very short on text and very picture
heavy because were going to be discussing a fad that has somehow managed to
last forty-seven years and counting. I
know. I got involved in that fad at
some point in my childhood, collecting these kinds of cards. I may even still have some of them kicking
around.
Of
course, I'm talking about "Wacky Packages"!
It
seems hard to believe that these cards that make disgusting and gross spoofs of
everyday household items were first printed by the Topps Company in 1967. They were originally die-cut cards, similar
in size and thickness to a standard baseball card where the images of the
product on the cards could be popped out of the card. By 1973, the company switched to a sticker format, which has
become the most common format for the cards.
Between 1967 and 2013, it is estimated that billions of "Wacky
Packages" cards have been produced, and believe it or not, at one point
they outsold the Topps baseball cards that were also manufactured. There were even posters, postcards, and even
comic books manufactured!
So,
for this edition of the blog, I thought it would be fun to talk about some of
the funny Wacky Packages that I have found online and from my own personal
collection. For some of these products,
you'll recognize them right away, but for others, I'll explain what the
original product is.
Let's
put it this way. You won't be finding
these products in supermarkets any time soon.
There's twenty-seven in all.
1.
RATZ CRACKERS
You won't find this spoof of Ritz Crackers on
the shelf at your grocery store. You
also may have a difficult time finding this card in the first place. It was one of the original 44 cards released
in 1967 that was pulled from production shortly after, making this card a
rarity.
2.
CRACKED ANIMALS
Same deal with this animal crackers
spoof. This card is also a rare one to
find.
3.
KOOK-AID
Obviously, this is meant to be a spin on
Kool-Aid. But I wonder what flavour it
is. Looks like grimacing grape to me.
4.
JELLY BULLY
I'm not a fan of most of the more exotic Jelly
Belly flavours, but not even a jellybean deserves this much abuse! I bet the Jelly Bully is rotten key lime
flavour.
5.
SKIP-IT PEANUT BUTTER
What could be worse than not being able to rip
the lip off of a peanut butter container?
6. JIP
PEANUT SHELLS
Well, I think we have our winner.
7.
DUMBSTICK ICE CREAM
I suppose that putting it on your head would
be a quick way to freeze your brain.
8.
HOPELESS SNOWBALLS
Actually, these would be handy to sell in
June, July, and August. And for those
of you who don't know what these are, they were a snack cake that Hostess
manufactured.
9.
IVERY SNOW
Speaking of snow...the mother might want to
get her clothes out of the dryer so that her child doesn't...you know...die.
10. SMOOCHER'S
STICKY JAM
Obviously a spoof of Smucker's jam
products. The secret ingredient is
crazy glue.
11.
KENTUCKY FRIED FINGERS
Well, I suppose this negates the "finger
lickin' good" slogan that KFC has used for years.
12.
SCARY LEE SCREAMBERRY CREEP CHEESE CAKE
Ah, the perfect dessert for Halloween.
13. UM
& UM's
Well...as a four year old, I would have liked
them. Truth be told, if there was a way
that I could have made M&M's melt in my hand, I'd have found it at that
age.
14.
CRUST TOOTHPASTE
Forget the garlic flavour. The name itself is revolting.
15.
DR. POPPER
Momma had a soda and her head popped off.
16.
ORDINARY K
Actually, I always have said that Special K
tasted like cardboard. I think this
name could work for the real thing too.
17.
CRAKOLA CRAYONS
Well...I suppose you could get the same effect
by jumping on top of a Crayola 64-count box.
18.
RICE-A-PHONI
The San Francisco treat that keeps on
giving...
19.
HOGGIN' DOGZ
I suppose that featuring a scary looking dog on
the package would deter you from purchasing it.
20.
CLAMMY SOAP
I assume that this is based off of Camay
soap. But, if the soap smells like clam
chowder, can it really claim to keep you clean?
21.
SWEATHARD SOAP
I actually had to look this one up to find out
what the original product this card was based on. It's a brand of soap called Sweetheart Soap (don't worry...I
haven't heard of it either). Needless
to say, this version of the soap will keep your sweetheart far, far away!
22.
HAWAIIAN LUNCH
The rotisserie is controlled by the guy that
Punchy kept punching. I knew he'd get
his revenge one day.
23.
GRAVESTONES UNCHEWABLE VITAMINS
Ah, another product suitable for Halloween.
24.
CRAM
As if Spam was hard enough to choke down...
25.
BARFIE: MY SCREAM
The predecessor of the Monster High doll.
26.
OLD SUPER MARIO MOTHERS
Who knew that Wacky Packages manufactured
video game cards too?
27.
GRAND THEFT AUDIO - NICE DITTY
What might have happened had Grand Theft Auto debuted during the Napster
era.
Hi,
everyone! Are you read for another SUNDAY
JUKEBOX
entry? I hope you are.
Now,
you might be wondering why I've chosen the colour pink to use for the highlight
text this week. Well, pink happens to
be the colour that represents breast cancer awareness, and since October is
breast cancer awareness month, I thought that I would show my support towards
this and other cancers. Maybe one day,
we will find a way to eliminate all cancer from this world. It's certainly a dream that many of us are
wanting.
In
the meantime, how about we bring out another #1 smash single from the past?
Now,
I have to admit that finding scary, spooky Halloween songs for this blog has
not been an easy task. Many of the
Halloween songs I know never even charted, let alone hit the top of the charts,
and those that have, I've either reviewed before, or hit the top of the charts
in a month other than October.
So,
I decided for this month that I would go with novelty songs. After all, they could be played during
Halloween parties, and they very well could have inspired several Halloween
costumes as well for all I know.
Well,
before we get to today's novelty song - that somehow made it to the top of the
Billboard charts - I want to tell you a story about my childhood, if you're interested.
Now,
it's no secret that when I used to work on my homework on weekends, I would
always have the radio on. After all, I
am definitely not the type of person who can really concentrate on work in
absolute silence. Many people are, and
good for you if you do. I have to have
some background noise or else I'm completely lost. As I type this entry right now, I'm watching television.
Well,
okay, I'm not EXACTLY watching television.
I just have it on because I can't stand complete peace and quiet. Besides, it's Sunday morning anyway. Nothing's on television except religious
programming, infomercials, and that omnibus of "Coronation Street"
that airs on CBC.
Anyway,
on with the story.
I
always liked to do my homework on weekends because that was the time in which
they did those Top 40 countdowns. And
back in the 1990s, the countdown shows were actually worth listening to.
Of
course, I had my favourite countdown show.
I always liked "American Top 40" with Casey Kasem at the helm,
as well as when he did "Casey's Top 40" in the 1990s after he left
"AT40" in the late 1980s. I
still can't believe that it's only been a few months since his passing.
But
of course, there was a time in which I couldn't listen to Casey Kasem. There was a period between 1991 and 1995
which I call the "non-Casey" years.
At that point in time, Shadoe Stevens had taken over AT40, and none of
the radio stations in my neck of the woods had syndicated Casey's Top 40. So, I had to find another countdown show to
listen to during those four years.
Thank
goodness for Rick Dees.
Yes,
in the early 1990s, "Rick Dees and the Weekly Top 40" was my go to
radio show on weekends. And to be
honest, it was a fairly decent show. He
often inserted song parodies in his show every so often (which as you may well
know, I dig a good parody every now and again), and his show certainly offered
up a lot of wacky humour. But he also
knew a lot about music, and he did have some rather awesome contest giveaways
back in the day.
His
show has been on radio since 1983, and at the age of sixty-four, I don't see
Rick Dees slowing down any time soon.
It's been a while since I tuned into one of his countdown shows (mainly
because my appetite for current pop music started to sour circa 2002), but I should
probably tune in once more for old times sake.
Bring back some old memories.
Actually, if you go on his website www.rick.com, you can listen to his
radio show online.
But
I should also note while Rick Dees has been in the radio business for a long time,
he also worked as a television talk-show host (though that endeavour barely
lasted one year), and he also had a brief career as a recording artist.
In
fact, he had the #1 song in America thirty-eight years ago this week. And, well...I'm just going to just post it
below. Believe me, we're going to have
a lot to say about this one.
ARTIST: Rick Dees and His Cast of Idiots
SONG: Disco Duck
ALBUM: The Original Disco Duck
DATE
RELEASED: September 4, 1976
PEAK
POSITION ON THE BILLBOARD CHARTS: #1 for 1
week
Um...wow. It's like Huey, Dewey, and Louie from
DuckTales all got together and released a song! And, the fact that it went to the top of the charts could be
partly because of the fact that 1976 was a year in which disco dominated the
music scene. Try releasing this single
in 2014 and see if it goes anywhere!
The
song itself was written by Dees himself and he was inspired to come up with the
song after hearing another novelty song from the 1960s entitled "The
Duck". It only took Dees one day to
pen the lyrics to the song and come up with a basic melody for the single, but
as far as recording the song went, it took much longer for him to get enough
musicians together to record the single.
Apparently
nobody wanted to have their name and talent attached to a song about a disco
dancer that quacked.
Nevertheless,
once a team of people were assembled, the song was recorded and released in
early September of 1976. As far as the
meaning of the song goes...well...there isn't much of one. A guy goes to a discotheque and suddenly
gets the urge to dance like a duck. He
then inspires everyone else in the club to dance like a duck as well. Before you know it, you have an entire flock
of duck dancers flapping their arms in the air as if they were wings.
Now,
before I go ahead with further discussion about this song, I should probably
clear up one major misconception.
The
duck voices that you hear during the chorus of "Disco Duck" were not
performed by Dees himself. They also
weren't performed by Clarence Nash, who provided the voice of Donald Duck for
Disney cartoons before his death in 1985.
And, the duck voices also weren't performed by current Donald Duck voice
artist Tony Anselmo. He was only
sixteen when the song was released.
No,
in all actuality, the duck voices came courtesy of Rick Dees' acquaintance Ken
Pruitt. During live performances of the
song, the duck voices were then provided by Michael Chesney, another
acquaintance of Dees.
And
yes, I know what you're thinking. They
actually performed this live?
Now,
"Disco Duck" wasn't without its share of controversy. Did you know that this song actually got
Dees fired from a job? It's true.
While
Dees recorded "Disco Duck", he was working as a disc jockey in
Memphis, Tennessee, and while the song was topping the charts all over the
nation, in the state of Tennessee, the song was largely ignored (especially in
Memphis), and rarely received any airplay on radio stations in the Memphis
area.
Now,
it wasn't because of the fact that Tennessee was one of those states that
focused more on country music stations that caused "Disco Duck" to be
left off of playlists at many major Memphis stations. It was the fact that because Dees worked at a Memphis radio
station, the station he worked at felt that it would be a conflict of interest
if they played the song. And rival
stations wouldn't play the record either because if they did, they would
essentially be promoting a disc jockey from a rival radio station. It was a no-win situation for Dees.
And
Dees found out the hard way that even so much as talking about "Disco
Duck" on his radio program had hard consequences. He mentioned the song title during his
morning show, and because he did, his boss terminated him on the spot, citing
conflict of interest! Fortunately, Rick
Dees found employment at another radio station, and all was right in the
world. I have to wonder if that radio
station began to start playing "Disco Duck" in retaliation against
the station that let Dees get away.
"Disco
Duck" even made an appearance in the film "Saturday Night
Fever", but because of Dees' manager at the time of the film's release
denying the record company that put out the soundtrack for "Saturday Night
Fever" to include the single on the soundtrack, it cost Dees in a big
way. You see, "Saturday Night
Fever" became the second best-selling soundtrack of all time, selling
approximately 40 million copies and counting.
Had "Disco Duck" been included on the soundtrack, Dees would
still be raking in royalty payments today.
Though,
given how successful Dees has gotten over the last thirty-eight years, I don't
think he's crying too much about it.
After all, he's probably the only man in the world who could write a
song about a disco dancer who thinks he's a duck and make it a chart-topper!
I
can't believe that it's the weekend already.
Boy, does time fly when you're having fun.
And,
that's what I hope to bring to this blog each and every day. I usually try to make this blog as fun as
possible, and I definitely make it a mission to stay mostly positive. There's so much negativity on the Internet
that I want to try and brighten it up a little bit. If I can make that happen with "A
POP CULTURE ADDICT'S GUIDE TO LIFE" with just a few people, then I'm happy.
That
being said, with today's SATURDAY NIGHT AT THE MOVIES POST, we're going to be
continuing our month of spookiness by featuring movies of increasing
intensity. And for today's feature
presentation, I thought that I would choose a movie that for its time period
was quite scary. But even more
frightening is the fact that many people consider this film series to be
cursed.
Would
you believe that over the last thirty-two years, four people who worked on this
trilogy have died? Four lives taken way
too soon. Four souls stolen away because
of tragic and sudden circumstances.
Have
I got you shaking in your shoes yet?
Now,
in this particular film, I will be focusing only on the first part of the
trilogy, but I will be briefly mentioning the other two films as well. After all, some people find the story of the
four cast members dying after appearing in this series of films to be much more
fascinating than the actual trilogy itself.
So,
sit back, grab a snack, and maybe take your television set and throw it out of
a window because this is the day we are going to be discussing the movie "Poltergeist".
Now,
I imagine that most of you probably know what a poltergeist is, but in case you
aren't sure, I'll give you a brief definition.
A poltergeist (German for "noisy ghost") is a spirit that can
cause a lot of havoc in a household or business. Poltergeists are invisible spirits that can cause objects to
levitate, bend, shift, short-circuit, or spontaneously combust with no warning
whatsoever. I know it might sound like
something that I have made up, but all over the world, people have reportedly
abandoned homes that they believe are haunted by a poltergeist. Now, how poltergeists get inside houses can
differ. Some may be haunting the place
that they called home when they were still alive and may just be protecting
their turf, while in other cases, they move into places of their own free will
to have some fun with the living.
That
is if you believe in ghosts, and poltergeists, and spirits.
Well,
on June 4, 1982, the world was introduced to the most famous fictional
poltergeist ever shown on the silver screen.
That was the day in which "Poltergeist" debuted at the box
office. And I must say that "Poltergeist"
did quite well in theatres, making almost twelve times its nearly eleven million
dollar budget. Of course, when you have
a huge name like Steven Spielberg serving as the film's producer, it's hard not
to imagine it being a box office success.
The
Tobe Hooper directed film starred Craig T. Nelson and JoBeth Williams as Steven
and Diane Freeling, who have the life that many of us absolutely dream of
having. Living underneath the
California sun in the planned community of Cuesta Verde, Steven makes a living
as a real estate developer while Diane stays at home raising her three children,
Dana (Dominique Dunne), Robbie (Oliver Robins), and Carol Anne (Heather
O'Rourke). Why, nothing could ever
shatter the idyllic suburban dream that the Freeling family seemed to be living
each day.
Well,
that is until Carol Anne decided to watch static on television one spooky
evening.
You
see, back in the olden days of the early 1980s, not every household had cable
television. And even if they did have
cable television, many channels didn't run 24/7 as they do now. So at some point during the early morning
hours (usually around two in the morning), broadcasting would cease. And after the national anthem played, you'd
either get the static picture, or you would get the test pattern signal (you
know, the design with all the multicoloured bars). Now, why Carol Anne was up at two o'clock in the morning, I
couldn't tell you. Maybe she had to go
to the bathroom. Maybe she couldn't
sleep. Maybe she was hungry and wanted
to check and see if there was still some Count Chocula cereal left over from
the previous morning's breakfast. All I
know is that when Carol Anne decided to watch static on television, crazy
things began happening.
Somehow,
Carol Anne's gazing into the television screen causes a spiritual apparition to
blast through the screen, disappear into the wall, and causes the whole house
to shake. And, then Carol Anne makes
the frightening announcement...
Yeah. That still creeps me out even today!
So
things begin happening around the Freeling house. Minor things like glassware breaking, silverware bending, and
furniture doing the do-si-do around the living room. And then things intensify when a tree in the Freeling backyard
tries to make a snack out of Robbie, and Carol Anne is abducted from her hiding
spot in the closet and is sucked into another dimension. Later investigation reveals that the
Freeling house is built on a sacred burial ground, and a medium, Tangina
Barrons (Zelda Rubinstein) is brought in to exorcise the poltergeists and to
save Carol Anne from the poltergeist's clutches.
At
any rate, I would definitely check out this movie. It's very creepy, and I was quite frightened by it when I first
watched it as a kid. I was especially
creeped out in hearing that the crew used real skeletons in the swimming pool
scene, according to JoBeth Williams, as I'm sure a lot of other people
were. It was alleged that real
skeletons were used because it was cheaper to buy real skeletons than plastic
ones (which leads me to wonder how one buys a real skeleton), but some wonder
if that decision was what lead to...
...THE
CURSE OF POLTERGEIST!!!
Yes,
since the original "Poltergeist" debuted, two of the main cast
members have met their maker. Two more
people associated with the "Poltergeist" sequels also met their end. And while all four deaths were attributed to
different causes, they all had one thing in common. They all died way too soon.
Perhaps
the first victim of the so-called "Poltergeist" curse was Dominique
Dunne, who played the Freeling's eldest daughter Dana in the first film. By all accounts, Dominique should have had a
really long career ahead of her.
Between 1979 and 1982, she had worked on several television series, and
critics responded well to her performance in "Poltergeist", which was
her very first role in a motion picture.
Sadly, it would end up being her last.
You
see, Dominique's downfall came at the hands of the man she was seeing. Her relationship with John Thomas Sweeney
had always been stormy. There were at
least two separate instances in which he had inflicted physical abuse on Dunne
before the couple split up. On October
30, 1982, she was rehearsing for a role that she had just taken on (the 1983
miniseries "V") with one of her co-stars, David Packer when Sweeney
showed up at her house unannounced.
Dunne stepped outside of the house to talk to him, and it was there that
Sweeney attacked Dunne and strangled her to the point of unconsciousness. Dunne was immediately taken to hospital, but
there was nothing that doctors could do to revive her. She passed away five days later on November
4, 1982 - just a few days before her twenty-third birthday.
John
Thomas Sweeney was sentenced to seven years in jail for assault and
manslaughter. Many close to the case
believe that Sweeney got off easy, and as far as I'm concerned, they aren't
wrong.
The
next victim of the "curse" was actor Julian Beck. Although he didn't appear in the first film
at all, he did take on the role of Henry Kane in the 1986 sequel
"Poltergeist II: The Other
Side". He accepted the role in
1983, and he filmed his scenes as planned.
But what people didn't know until later was that he was a ticking time
bomb just waiting to go off. You see,
Beck had been diagnosed with stomach cancer prior to accepting the role. Sadly, he did not live long enough to see
his performance on the screen. He
passed away in September 1985 at the age of 60 - eight months before
"Poltergeist II: The Other Side" was released in theatres.
Another
casualty of the "Poltergeist" series also starred in
"Poltergeist II: The Other
Side" was Will Sampson. You might
recall that he played the role of Taylor, the medicine man. Sampson, unlike Beck, was alive when the
second movie of the trilogy debuted in May 1986. But like Beck, Sampson was a ticking time bomb. He had underwent a lung and heart transplant
at some point after "Poltergeist II" wrapped up in an effort to
prolong his life, but he died of post-operative kidney failure on June 3, 1987
at just 53 years of age.
How
interesting that he died one day shy of the fifth anniversary of
"Poltergeist" being released.
Sadly
the final death is probably the cruelest twist of fate, as she was still a
child when she passed on. You might
recall that Heather O'Rourke was just six years old when she starred in the
original "Poltergeist" series.
In fact, Heather was one of two actors who appeared in all three films
(the other one was Zelda Rubenstein).
But sadly, Heather's fate was sealed while she was filming the third
installment of the movie.
In
1987, Heather began feeling sick and was initially diagnosed by doctors as
having Crohn's Disease (an inflammatory bowel disease), and she was given a
prescription of cortisone to treat it.
The treatment appeared to work, as Heather managed to finish filming her
scenes for "Poltergeist III", although one side effect was that
Heather's cheeks became large and puffy.
But
on January 31, 1988, Heather became violently ill, being unable to keep any
food or drink down, and her parents made the decision to take her to the
hospital the following morning to see if there was anything that could be
done. By that point though, it was too
late. The next day, February 1, 1988,
Heather collapsed and was rushed to the hospital, but she passed away later
that day at the tender age of 12. The
cause of death was cardiac arrest caused by septic shock brought on by a bowel
obstruction.
The
O'Rourke family later sued Kaiser Foundation Hospital in San Diego, California
claiming that had Heather not been misdiagnosed, her life could have been
spared. The lawsuit was eventually
settled out of court.
So, what do you think? Is there a "Poltergeist" curse, or is it merely just a
series of coincidental deaths?
I
can't believe that we're already past the halfway point in October. This month seems to have been flying by at a
quick rate, hasn't it? But then again,
I say that about every month, so this is hardly anything new.
But
let's talk about the month of October for a minute here. Now, I don't know where you all hail from in
the world, but I can tell you that this has probably been one of the warmest
Octobers that I can remember ever experiencing. A couple of days ago was October 15...and I was wearing shorts
and a T-shirt. And I still felt like I
was overdressed.
Granted,
I realize for those of you living in Florida, Texas, Arizona, or even some
parts of California, this is probably typical weather. But for me, I feel like we should be smack
dab in the middle of autumn - which includes autumn like temperatures. Nothing like the crisp breeze in the air
while your senses are tickled with the scent of freshly fallen leaves. Fall is definitely my favourite season of
the year. I just hope we don't end up
skipping it altogether with an extra long summer combined with an extremely
early winter. Why, that would just
break my heart if we skipped fall!
Okay,
I admit I'm being overdramatic here. I
just hate humidity. Especially in a
month in which we aren't supposed to have any.
So,
why don't I open up discussion by talking about fall foods. After all, today is Friday, which means it's
time for a FOODIE FRIDAY post!
And in the spirit of fall, I thought I would choose a food that is a
symbol of autumn. A prominent gourd
that has made its way into the hearts and homes of many good people in this
world. A food item that people line up
at places like Starbucks just to have a sample of it added into their
caffeinated beverages every October.
It's
also a food item that I myself am not a huge fan of. However, that's not to say that I don't like having them
around. They provide a multitude of
different uses. They could even double
as a flashlight if an emergency ever occurred.
Of
course, I am talking about the great pumpkin.
No,
not the one that Linus stayed up all night long to greet. I mean an actual pumpkin.
Let's
face it. Aside from apples, pumpkins
are the ultimate fall fruit (and yes although pumpkin is a member of the squash
family, scientifically speaking, a pumpkin is definitely a fruit). And October is definitely the month in which
the most pumpkins are purchased in any given year.
I
suppose one of the reasons why is fairly obvious. One of the most common uses for pumpkins is carving them out, pulling
out the pumpkin guts, and designing spooky faces on the front of the
hollowed-out pumpkin to be displayed for Halloween. Believe me, I have probably massacred quite a few pumpkins for
that purpose alone.
I
remember when I was still in elementary school, our teachers would bring in
pumpkins and the whole class pitched in to help carve a very special pumpkin
for our classroom. One of the few
positive memories that I have of first grade is all of us in the class taking
turns to reach into the pumpkin to clean out the pumpkin guts inside. I loved the experience, but some of the
other kids in the class found it disgusting.
We
of course threw out the orange pumpkin guts - well, not before a couple of kids
in the class tried to eat it like they would an orange only to get a rather
interesting surprise upon tasting it.
Let's just get it out of the way.
Pumpkins may be orange in colour, but they sure don't taste like an
orange!
Now,
the seeds on the other hand. We saved
those. Later on in the day, a group of
kids were selected to go to the school's kitchen and bake the pumpkin seeds for
us to snack on later in the day. And,
no, I was not a part of that group.
Stupid teacher.
But
you know, pumpkin seeds aren't too bad toasted. Truth is, they're probably the only part of the pumpkin that I
can actually stand eating. Of course,
I'd have to salt them first before I eat them.
Mind you, some kids in my class were afraid to eat them because some of
the other kids heard stories that if you ate pumpkin seeds, you could grow a
pumpkin inside of your stomach. This of
course is not true, but the fact that some people actually believed that was
quite funny.
Of
course, this discussion leads to all of the different food items that pop up
during the month of October that have pumpkin as a key ingredient. And, I'll be completely honest with
you. Pumpkin is not a favourite of
mine.
It's
funny though. Whenever I tell people
that I'm not a fan of pumpkin flavoured goodies, they stare at me as if I have
three heads or six arms or something like that. One thing that I've learned is that people who are passionate
about pumpkin will defend their stance to anyone who will listen.
The
way I see it, they can have my share.
But
seriously, just have a look around supermarkets, coffee shops, and fast food
outlets and just see the amount of pumpkin flavoured goodies available for
purchase. At Starbucks, you can grab a
pumpkin spice latte. At Tim Hortons,
you can purchase pumpkin cookies and donuts.
I'm almost positive that you can find at least one pumpkin pie at every
Thanksgiving table across North America.
And,
just to show that I'm not entirely against the pumpkin, I thought I'd end this
blog off with a recipe for pumpkin pie, courtesy of Canadian Living magazine. Just click on the links below, as the recipe
is in two parts.
Hello,
everybody, and welcome to another edition of TUBE TALK
THURSDAY!
And
for the rest of October, these television discussions are going to be quite
frightful in nature!
Seriously,
with Halloween coming in a little more than two weeks from now, it's never been
a more perfect time to dig into the television archives to showcase some
special Halloween programming. After
all, there have been a lot of Halloween themed shows that have aired over the
sixty plus years that television has been around.
And
I thought to myself, why not do a feature on a Halloween themed television
episode for the next few weeks in this blog?
It's a good idea! It's a great
idea! Besides, I think I already talked
about all the Halloween cartoons that I could think of.
And
I think that this could be a lot of fun because I have several possible
television shows that I can think of to talk about. Believe it or not, I even found a DVD at work that had thirteen
classic Halloween episodes from thirteen different sitcoms in one Halloween
collection.
And
yes, I did buy it. It was only
$6.97. A mere impulse purchase.
Still,
I was sort of disappointed that one of my favourite Halloween episodes that
ever broadcast was left off this DVD collection.
I'll
be honest with you, when I saw that one of the thirteen sitcoms that was
featured on the collection was "The Facts of Life", I was really
excited because of the possibility that I would see this episode in high
definition greatness.
Instead,
I found that they had chosen a different episode. Which was fine, as I did like the "Halloween" episode
of "The Facts of Life" as well.
But there was one other one that I liked better. And it is this episode that I want to
discuss in today's blog.
Now,
I know it seems hard to believe, but "The Facts of Life" ran for nine
seasons between 1979 and 1988. That
makes it the longest running television series of the entire decade known as
the 1980s. If it had gone two more
years, it would have been one of the only sitcoms to air brand new episodes in
three different decades! That's how
popular it was.
The
episode that I want to feature in this blog was one of the episodes in the
show's eighth season. And many people
who are fans of the show "The Facts of Life" don't really like the
later seasons of the show, because Charlotte Rae left the role of Mrs. Garrett
after seven seasons, and Cloris Leachman took over as Mrs. Garrett's sister,
Beverly Ann. Certainly many fans
believe the show's "Over Our Heads" seasons to be the point in which
the show "jumped the shark".
However, I find that some of the episodes in seasons eight and nine did
stand out as being just as good as the original ones.
After
all, the reunion between the Season 1 girls with the rest of the cast that were
kept took place in Season 8. The
episode in which Bobby Rydell and Fabian hosted a 1960s throwback happened in
Season 8. The episode in which Natalie
lost her virginity happened in Season 9.
Mind
you, Season 9 was also the season they brought out that pointless Pippa character. No disrespect to Sherrie Krenn though. The character just wasn't needed.
Anyway,
back to the episode discussion.
While
the episode didn't technically air on Halloween (the actual airdate was January
3, 1987), it was appropriate enough that it could have been a Halloween
favourite. It was based on the song
"Ten Little Indians" by Septimus Winner which started off with ten
little indians, but by the end only one remained.
Well,
that's where the title of the episode "Seven Little Indians" comes from. In the show, the six main stars of the show
(Blair, Jo, Natalie, Tootie, Beverly Ann, Andy (Mackenzie Astin), and special
guest star George Clooney all gather together for what is supposed to be a nice
quiet night at their place of residence which happens to be attached to their
tacky 80s memorabilia store called "Over Our Heads". But when each of the gang start dropping
dead one by one, everyone realizes that a killer is among them.
But
who is the killer?
Well,
before we discuss this episode further, why don't I post a link to this episode
HERE. Go on.
I'll give you twenty-three minutes or so to watch it. We'll resume discussion until you get back. In the meantime, watch this very scary music
video.
Okay,
so on with the show.
Did
you notice how ridiculously clever this episode was? It was like they took all of the 1980s horror movie cliches and
amped up the parody levels! I guess
that's why I enjoy this episode so much.
So,
what did I like about this episode?
Lots.
SPECIAL GUEST STAR MAURICE LAMARCHE
Believe
it or not, there was once a time in which Maurice LaMarche made his living in
front of the camera. You may recognize
him now as the voice of The Brain in "Pinky and the Brain" and
several other cartoons. But in this
episode, he played the part of the Rod Serling lookalike/soundalike where he
roasted marshmallows, ate pastries, and had an obsession with saying the word
"Tootie". But I have to tell
you, this man did such a fantastic job with the episode, and you could tell
that he was having a blast. In fact,
while I was looking for the episode on YouTube, it looked like LaMarche
actually commented on one of the videos where he gave some behind the scenes
moments about his experience on the show.
But really, the only juicy secrets he revealed was that the script was
heavily cut while filming and that George Clooney was an incredibly nice
guy. Still, that's something.
Tootie.
THE METHODS OF DEATH
Now,
when you think of a murder mystery, you're used to seeing the classic weapons
being used. You know, steak knives,
guns, candlesticks, ropes, lead pipes...ah, maybe I'm just thinking about the
board game "Clue". But this
show certainly got creative with choices of weapons. And while I'm aware that I'm spoiling the episode for those who
haven't seen it...well, I'm not really.
I posted the link to the episode above the David Hasselhoff video,
remember?
We'll
start with Andy, who was the killer's first victim. He eventually suffocated by choking on rubber cement glue, but
not before slipping on a whole bunch of stuff in a comedic style Rube Goldberg
manner. George was the next victim,
hung up in a closet clutching a pink balloon for protection - because everyone
knows that a balloon is the best defense against a serial killer. Natalie was the next to die, getting
strangled by a pair of fuzzy dice. Then
Blair was "Dippity-Doo"ed to "death". Beverly Ann was the next victim, drinking a
poisoned drink and having one of the most hilarious death scenes ever. And finally, Jo croaked after being
bludgeoned to death by an...inflatable frog.
Again, you have to hand it to the people who wrote this episode. The fact that we knew it was a parody made
it funnier.
Oh,
and the breaking the fourth wall gags with Tootie shushing the background music
because she was trying to sneak up on someone?
Priceless. You see, this is what
we children of the '80s had for parody before the "Scary Movie"
series debuted.
Tootie.
Of
course this leads to the...
SURPRISE ENDING!!!
Now,
if you've been counting along with me from the last couple of paragraphs, you
would have counted that six of the seven people in the episode are now
dead. That leaves Tootie. So, you might automatically suspect that
Tootie is the killer. Amusingly enough,
even Tootie suspects herself! But what
Tootie doesn't realize is that one of the previous victims isn't really dead.
Yes,
the real killer was Blair Warner, and her reason for murdering everyone was
simple. She wanted to rid the world of
everyone who fell under the 50% tax bracket.
Of
course, if this show had aired in 2014, she would be killing everyone in the
99% - which would essentially leave fewer people in the world than after
"Captain Trips" devastated the world in "The Stand".
But
anyway, just before she could stab Tootie with a beach umbrella, Beverly Ann
wakes up and realizes that it was all a dream that she had. Which makes me wonder what exactly was in
that cocoa that she was making herself at the beginning of the episode!
Anyway,
the episode ends as normally as could be...except for that strange man that
suddenly appears at the end.
Tootie.
And,
well...that's what you can expect over the next couple of weeks. I'll be choosing a Halloween themed episode
for discussion, and we'll be watching it (if I can find it online), and then
we'll be talking about it. Think of it
as like a book club, only with videos.