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Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Deducing the Deduction of Unusual Things

"Our new Constitution is now established and has an appearance that promises permanency; but in this world nothing can be certain, except death and taxes."
- Benjamin Franklin




So, welcome to tax day, Americans!  Today is the very last day that you can file your tax returns without getting a penalty. 

Fear not, fellow Canadians.  We still have fifteen days to do ours, as our official tax day is April 30.

Of course, with myself being a huge procrastinator and knowing full well that any chance of a refund that I might get is slim to nil, I purposely wait until the last minute to file mine.  I suppose that I would feel differently about it if I knew that I would be getting a tax refund worth three thousand dollars or something like that, but I'm already going on the conclusion that this year, at least, it won't happen.

(But, I suppose getting no refund back is better than being audited.  That would suck.)

Now, I don't really know how the system works in Canada - I am assuming that it is similar to the United States - but one way to make sure that you wake up the day after Tax Day happy is to try and find as many tax deductions as possible.  A tax deduction can reduce the amount of taxes that you have to pay the government, and typically speaking, the more tax deductions you have, the better chance you have of turning a profit on Tax Day.

Some of the most common tax deductions that people have made include caregiver allowances, babysitting expenses, charitable donations, and medical expenses.

Sometimes, people have gotten a little bit creative in trying to deduce whether a deduction is possible, but most often than not, it works out well.

That being said, there is a limit to how much "creativity" that the Internal Revenue Service and the government is willing to take.  And after doing a little bit of research online, I've found some of the craziest things that some people have actually tried to claim a tax deduction on.

The craziest thing about some of these?  They actually WORKED!

I'll highlight the ones that succeeded in green, and the ones that didn't work in red.  That way, some of you will know what you could potentially get away with, and what you definitely will NOT get away with!

Special thanks to
TurboTax.com, Wisebread.com, Neatorama.com, and Oddee.com for the information presented in this blog today.



1.  Claiming a dog (or any pet) as a dependent

I know that for most of us, our pets are our lives.  I know many people who see their furry friends as their children, which is very cool indeed.  But just because Fluffy, Fido, or Grumpy Cat may be like having a child, don't confuse them for actually being children. As of 2015, pets can not be declared as dependents.  Some may consider it unfair, but I don't work for the tax collectors.  I don't make the rules.



2.  Claiming a tattoo as a medical expense

Now, when I think of medical expenses, I tend to think of emergency surgical procedures, or certain kinds of prescription drugs - especially in countries in which people have to pay out of pocket to get medical care.  That being said, tattoos and body piercings are not generally considered to be tax deductable.  However, running your own tattoo shop?  That could work.

3.  Claiming sex as a medical expense

This should be common sense, but one person in the state of New York decided that he would at least attempt to make sex a tax deduction.  He tried to claim over $113,000 of "therapeutic sex".

And just what expenses go into "therapeutic sex"?  Well, massage therapy, pornography, and hiring a whole lot of prostitutes, that's what.

There's just one problem.  The tax return was filed in 2002 - and at least back in that time (and very well could still be in effect thirteen years later), prostitution was illegal in New York state.

And, well...you can't claim a deduction on an illegal activity.



4.  Claiming cat food as a legitimate business expense

Yes, this is one of the loopholes in the tax code.  You can't claim a cat as a dependent, but one junkyard successfully claimed cat food as a business expense.  You see, the owner of a junkyard is expected to deal with his fair share of rats crawling around.  But when the rat population grew too large, he started buying crates of cat food and opened them up to attract feral cats in the area.  The cats would be attracted to the cat food, and would be treated to a nice healthy dose of rats for dessert.  The junkyard became more attractive to bargain hunters, and because it improved his profits, the government decided to allow the deduction.



5.  Deducting the cost paid to an arsonist paid to torch a business

As if premeditated arson wasn't enough of a crime, one furniture business owner learned the hard way that deducting the ten thousand dollar fee used to pay the arsonist for destroying his own business was probably not the brightest idea.  He was eventually caught, and both he and the guy he paid off served time in prison.

Basic rule of thumb - Don't do stupid things.

6.  Deducting the cost of breast enhancement surgery

Yeah, remember how I said that tattoos and piercings were not tax deductible?  Apparently if you can prove that a breast enhancement actually allowed you to earn more money in tips and that the enhancement was a necessary "stage prop" to help her perform...well, that can be written off!  Don't believe me?  Just google the name Cynthia Hess.

7.  Deducting the cost of fancy dresses

This really happened in the case of entertainer Dinah Shore.  However, there was a catch.  She could only write off the dresses provided that the dresses were so tight that she could only wear them on her television show.  Since Shore only wore the dresses on her show, they were considered a business expense.

8.  Deducting the cost of pole dancing classes

No, you cannot deduct the cost of installing a pole inside of your bedroom to justify the fact that dancing on a pole helps your husband relax.  But believe it or not, someone tried it!

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

April 14, 1865

I certainly hope that you all are looking forward to a historical Tuesday Timeline this week because we are really going back in time.  To before the 1900s! 

It's very rare that I do a Tuesday Timeline spotlight that is set during the 1800s, but this was one event that I knew that I just couldn't ignore.  It was an event that back in its day was quite shocking, and although similar instances have happened since, this one truly was the talk of the town back in the day - as well as the talk of a nation.

We'll get to that in a little bit. 

In the meantime, we have some other things to get out of the way first.  Let's see what else happened on April 14 throughout history as well as seeing who has an April 14 birthday.

1715 - In South Carolina, the Yamasee War begins

1828 - Noah Webster copyrights the first edition of his dictionary

1860 - The first Pony Express rider reaches San Francisco, California

1881 - In El Paso, Texas, the "Four Dead In Five Seconds Gunfight" takes place

1894 - The first commercial motion picture house opens up in New York City

1912 - RMS Titanic strikes an iceberg shortly before midnight - the vessel sinks a little over two and a half hours later

1925 - Actor Rod Steiger (d. 2002) is born in Westhampton, New York

1927 - The first vehicle manufactured by Volvo is showcased in Sweden

1939 - John Steinbeck's "The Grapes of Wrath" is first published

1944 - Three hundred people are killed in the Bombay harbor explosion

1948 - Photographer/actress Berry Berenson (d. 2001) is born in Murray Hill, Manhattan, New York

1956 - The videotape is demonstrated in Chicago, Illinois

1957 - Comedian Richard Jeni (d. 2007) is born in Brooklyn, New York

1958 - Soviet satellite Sputnik 2 falls from orbit after being suspended in space for 162 days

1969 - Barbra Streisand and Katharine Hepburn tie for the Best Actress Academy Award

1981 - Columbia (STS-1) - the first operational space shuttle - completes its first test flight

1986 - Ninety-two people are killed in Bangladesh following a storm dumping extremely large hailstones (some weighing as much as one kilogram!)

1995 - Singer/actor Burl Ives passes away at the age of 85

2002 - Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez returns to office just two days after being ousted by the Venezuela military

2007 - Singer Don Ho passes away at the age of 76

2012 - "Dark Shadows" actor Jonathan Frid dies at the age of 87

2014 - 75 people and 141 more are injured in twin bomb blasts in Abuja, Nigeria

And celebrating a birthday on the 14th of April are the following people; Loretta Lynn, Shani Wallis, Bobby Nichols, Julie Christie, Pete Rose, John Sergeant, Ritchie Blackmore, John Shea, Bruce Sterling, Barbara Bonney, Peter Capaldi, John D'Aquino, Brad Garrett, Robert Carlyle, Daniel Clowes, Jeff Andretti, Gina McKee, Tom Dey, David Justice, Anthony Michael Hall, Adrien Brody, David Miller, Da Brat, Amy Birnbaum, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Rob McElhenney, Paul O'Brien, Claire Coffee, Vivien Cardone, Graham Phillips, Ellington Ratliff, Skyler Samuels, and Abigail Breslin.

So, as mentioned up above, today's Tuesday Timeline date predates the 1900s, so you know we're going to be talking about a major historical event.



An event that took place on April 14, 1865.

Wow, that was one hundred and fifty years ago! 

And let's just say that a century and a half ago, a shocking event took place that changed the course of American politics forever. 



That was the day that President Abraham Lincoln was shot at Ford's Theatre by John Wilkes Booth.  Lincoln, of course, died the following day.

Of course, there have been quite a few assassination attempts on American Presidents over the country's 238-year-history.  Of course, most people remember the 1981 attempt on President Ronald Reagan and Lynette "Squeaky" Fromme attempting to off Gerald Ford in 1975.

And of course, Lincoln wasn't the only President to be assassinated.  James Garfield, William McKinley, and John F. Kennedy were all killed while in office in 1881, 1901, and 1963 respectively.

However, Lincoln was the very first President to die at the hands of an assassin - and believe it or not, this was not the first time that Lincoln had been the subject of an assassination attempt!

In 1861, Lincoln's life was threatened by a group who vowed to assassinate him on his way to his inauguration in Baltimore, Maryland.  A second attempt was made three years later in August 1864 when a lone rifle shot missed hitting Lincoln's head!  The thing that saved him?  His love for tall hats.  The bullet struck the hat.

Sadly, the third attempt proved to be fatal. 

On April 14, 1865 - Good Friday - Lincoln and his wife attended a performance of "Our American Cousin" which was playing at Ford's Theatre in Washington D.C.  The Lincolns attended the play with Major Henry Rathbone and Clara Harris, and they were seated in the Presidential Box after the play had already started.  Approximately 1,700 people were in Ford's Theatre at the time.

What Lincoln wasn't aware of was that John Wilkes Booth - an actor who had participated in performances held at the theatre - was already there.  And he was there for one reason only.

To kill Lincoln.

But why was Booth so keen on assassinating Lincoln?  And why was Lincoln's life threatened more than once?

Well, it all has to do with when Lincoln was elected as President of the United States.  Or, rather, I should say President of the Northern United States.

You see, Lincoln was elected in 1861, which happened to be the same year that the American Civil War began.  In 1861, there were only thirty-four states in the Union, and of those thirty-four states, at least eleven decided to secede from the United States to become the Confederate States of America.  And as it so happened, most of the states to join the Confederate Union were southern states.

Hence the reason why the American Civil War is sometimes referred to "North vs. South".

The reason for the Civil War was stemmed from the controversial practice of slavery.  There was once a dark time in American history in which white Americans forced people of colour to become their personal slaves, making them do all of the hard work that they did not want to do, and often being abused physically and sexually if they ever stepped out of line.

And Abraham Lincoln opposed the expansion of slavery into the western territories, which lead to hostilities between the Northern States (who opposed slavery) and the Southern States (who supported it).

As we all know, the Civil War ended in 1865 with the North triumphing over the South, and the country once more became the United States of America (even though the Confederate States of America were never recognized as an official nation in its four year history).  But many people who lived in the Confederate States region still remained loyal to the confederation.

John Wilkes Booth was one.  And because of a speech Abraham Lincoln gave just three days before he died about how Lincoln wanted to enfranchise the former slaves, Booth decided that Lincoln must die.

And on April 14, 1865, Booth opened fire on Lincoln inside of Ford's Theatre.  He died the next day.

Monday, April 13, 2015

Seven Ways To Destroy Chocolate - At Least In My Opinion

This is a statement that I am not denying in the slightest.

My name is Matthew, and I am a chocoholic.



Seriously, I cannot get enough of chocolate.  If I can, I will eat at least a little bit of it every day as long as I live. 




In fact, I can remember what one of my very first experiences was with chocolate.  While my parents have told me that my very first taste of chocolate was through a "Jersey Milk" chocolate bar, I seem to remember "Junior Mints" being a very huge part of my childhood.  Plain M&M's were also a huge part of childhood snacking, and I have yet to resist the irresistible combination of chocolate and peanut butter.

Reese, I'm looking at you for fueling my PB&C addiction here.

Chocolate is one of the reasons why Easter, Halloween, and February 15 are my favourite days of the year.  Easter and Halloween because of all the chocolate that is available, and February 15 for all the chocolate that is 50% off!  Take that, Valentine's Day lovers!!!

However, while I have a love affair with most chocolate treats, there are some chocolate confections that I would not touch with a thirty foot pole.

While it is difficult for me to find ways in which chocolate would forever be ruined, I have found seven ways in which doing this to chocolate would guarantee that I would not eat it.

Now, keep in mind that this is merely my own list of personal tastes.  You may agree with me on this one.  You might also disagree with this list as much as you want.  Believe me, I like hearing from you.

So, here we go.  The seven things that will forever ruin chocolate for me.



1.  Chocolate Covered Strawberries

Now, I know what you're thinking.  Chocolate covered strawberries might just be one of the greatest inventions ever made in the confection world.  It could even be used as one of the greatest aphrodisiacs in the world.  Seriously, chocolate covered strawberries can be a necessity when your mood is flavoured with passion and intensity.

Or, so I've heard anyway.

There's just one problem with chocolate covered strawberries that ruins them for me.  I'm allergic to strawberries.  You pop one of those things in my mouth and believe me - it's anything but sexy.



2.  Chocolate Covered Cherries

Or, maybe I just have something against dipping fruit in chocolate to begin with.  Chocolate is delicious on its own.  Cherries are one of my favourite fruits in the whole world.  I can eat a whole bag of fresh cherries from the produce department in one sitting.  Therefore, I should be able to enjoy cherries covered in chocolate, right?

Wrong.

I don't know what it is about chocolate covered cherries, but I find them absolutely disgusting.  Maybe I'm thinking of those Queen Anne cordial cherries that one might get at Christmas, but I can't do it.  Chocolate and cherries are a horrible flavour combo for me to digest. 

Though if you had apples or bananas at the chocolate fondue fountain, those I could do.



3.  Chocolate and Coconut

Sometimes you feel like a nut.  Sometimes you don't.  Almond Joy has nuts.  Mounds don't.

But you know what both Almond Joy and Mounds have?  Coconut.  And do you know why I will never eat an Almond Joy or Mounds bar?  Coconut.

Now, I think in the case of coconut, it's definitely a texture thing.  I can drink coconut milk without much problem.  I can do a little bit of coconut flavour in tropical blend yogurts and fruit juices. 



And yes, I do like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain.

But take tasteless, chewy, haystack like shredded coconut and cover it in chocolate?  Yeah, you can have it.  I don't want it.



4.  Chocolate with TOO MANY NUTS

You know, I have a love-hate relationship with nuts, and much like coconut, it is a texture thing.

I've already mentioned how much I love peanut butter.  But surprisingly enough, I can't stand peanuts themselves.  It sounds strange, I know, but I don't like the texture of peanuts, and for the most part, I tend to avoid chocolate bars that have a huge supply of nuts - with the exception of Snickers, as the caramel and nougat overpower the taste and texture of the peanuts inside.

But a Pay Day bar?  Can't do it.  An Oh Henry bar?  Again, can't chew it.  And don't even get me started on that disgusting "Eat More" candy bar, the bar that is more nutty than chocolaty.  Eat More may very well be the one candy bar that makes me eat less.



5.  Chocolate Covered Marshmallows

I've never really been a marshmallow fan to begin with.  Sure, I used to eat Lucky Charms cereal for the marshmallows, but that was when I was seven and my taste buds were bland.  Now that I'm older, I don't really like marshmallows all that much (unless they are part of a S'more or a Rice Krispie Square).  And while marshmallow eggs, pumpkins, and Santas are top selling candies for Easter, Halloween, and Christmas, they aren't a favourite of mine.  Again, it's not that they taste bad...just that it wouldn't be my first choice in how to enjoy chocolate.



6.  Making chocolate TOO dark

I once made the mistake of believing that baker's chocolate was just as tasty as the kind of chocolate bars that you would find at a candy store.  You know, those little blocks of chocolate that you would use for brownies, chocolate pies, and drizzle for chocolate cakes?  Well, don't do it.  Baker's chocolate is about as bitter as chocolate can get, and one bite of that stuff soured me on chocolate for all of four minutes.

(Well, that's how long it took my mom to bring out the good stuff anyway.)

Now, I'm not saying that I am totally against dark chocolate.  I do like Hershey's Special Dark and I am still bitter that Cadbury made their Caramilk Dark bars for only a short time. 

But those Lindt chocolate bars that are 70% and 85% real cocoa?  Yeah, that's one way to turn me off chocolate.



7.  Chocolate Covered INSECTS

Some countries have these as a delectable and rich confection.  I will NEVER try one.  For obvious reasons.

Sunday, April 12, 2015

Somewhere In My Memory

April 12, 2015

French class was always a fun time for me. The vast majority of classmates I attended French class with hated the subject. I get the distinct feeling that everytime my teacher would wheel in her little black cart with the green Dimoitou puppet, some kids groaned. I loved it though, and I would often get good grades in the subject.





I remember one year, we were doing a unit study on foods. We had to learn what several of the French words were for fruits and vegetables at the time. Some of them were really easy. Orange was orange. Banana was banane. Easy-peasy, right?

Not all of them were all that easy though. When it came down to the french word for pineapple, most of the class was stumped. When the teacher asked us what the French word for pineapple was, nobody knew.

But, I knew. I knew it very well. I shot up my hand and proudly declared that it was "un ananas"!

And, the teacher was impressed. Very impressed.

She flashed other fruits to me, and I named them all. Cherry=cerise. Grape=raisin. Pomme=apple. Pomme de Terre=Potato.

We then had to do a colouring page afterwards, and at this time, another teacher had come into the classroom. I don't think I was supposed to hear the conversation that the two teachers were having, but I distinctly remember hearing my French teacher talking about how I had a really good photographic memory.

I wondered to myself...what did that mean? I didn't understand the concept of that statement. I certainly didn't take Polaroid pictures with my mind.

As I grew older, though, I began to understand what she meant.

Part of the reason why I knew what the French word for pineapple was? TVOntario.





I remember watching TVO non-stop, and one of the programs was some silly little French show where the star was a talking pineapple. I didn't understand what the heck the people were saying, as my mother tongue was English, but the pineapple's name stuck out in my mind.




The pineapple was named "Ananas".

It seems silly, right? How watching a show that I had no hope of understanding as a five year old helped me enrich my vocabulary in another language. But, maybe my teacher had a point. If I hadn't have watched the show, would I have remembered the term? Probably not.





I was also a huge fan of Kool-Aid as a kid, and remember helping my mom mix it up many times. I would often read the label of the package while I poured the water into the pitcher, just to see how many cups of water I had to pour in. Keep in mind that I'm Canadian, so all our packaging was written in both English and French. That's probably how I learned the French words of the other fruits.

Apparently, the French language wasn't the only thing I remembered from way back when.





Does anyone remember those Laurentian pencil crayons? The 24 packs of coloured pencils with each one individually numbered. Well, if you told me a number, I could tell you the corresponding colour. In anyone's interested, give it a try! Ask me a number, I'll tell you the colour!

People have told me that I have a diabolical memory, and I think that my long-term memory is really good.

My short-term memory is not the best. In fact, I'd say that it completely sucks.

Try as I might, I always seem to misplace the remote-control, my wallet, my schedule...in one day, I misplaced all three.

I would try to take a course in improving my short-term memory...but I keep forgetting.

What's the point of this little note? Well, in my last note, I talked about my biggest weaknesses, and I figure that I should lighten the mood by talking about my strengths.

A good memory just happens to be one of my strengths.

I'm sure that I will come up with more strengths...if I remember to do so.

Saturday, April 11, 2015

Raising Money For Good - And Not For Bigotry

Does anybody remember participating in school fundraising drives when they were children?  How many of you did fundraising for your school?  What did you sell?  And did you like doing it?

I think I did school fundraising every single year that I was in elementary school (except kindergarten as we were exempt that year, and first grade where my evil teacher excluded me from taking part).  And each year, I think I sold quite a lot of stuff.  I think I was the second highest seller for 1991, 1992, 1993, and quite possibly 1994 as well.  If not, I was definitely Top 10 of the whole school.

What can I say?  I had a lot of family members back then who took the booklet to their workplaces.  I made a killing that way!



Of course, one thing I always wondered was where the money that we raised went to.  Sure, we managed to sell boxes of chocolates, Christmas ornaments, and gift bags at prices that could be considered ridiculously priced, but I never really knew how all that money we raised was spent.

Well, I would wager a guess that money was spent on a variety of things.  Upgrading playground equipment.  Paying for field trips.  Renovating classrooms.  Replacing gym equipment.  Things like that.  At least, I would hope it was that.

See, I love doing fundraising for worthy causes, and if I know that the money is doing a lot of good for a lot of people, then it is all worth it in the end.  It's why I've done several charity walks for children's hospitals and cancer research.  It's fun to take part in, and the money raised definitely goes to a wonderful cause.

But what happens when the cause that a fundraiser is raising money for is less than noble?



Well, I'm sure that you've heard about what has been happening in the state of Indiana right now.  Indiana is one of two states (the other one being Arkansas) that is entertaining the possibility of enforcing a "religious freedom" bill, which if passed would give individuals and businesses the right to assert that their exercise of religion has been  - or is likely to be - burdened as a defense in legal proceedings.



But one pizzeria in Indiana has taken the law to mean something else.  Something really discriminatory, unfair, and childish as far as I'm concerned.

You see, some people see this religious freedom bill as the very thing they need to refuse service to anybody who does not share the same belief system that they do.  And sadly for many people who identify themselves as a part of the LGBTQ community (that would be lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or questioning people), they find themselves as unfair targets of this potential law.

Such is the case of said pizzeria (who I will for the sake of argument not list the name of, as I feel that they have gotten enough publicity), who declared that they would no longer cater any gay or lesbian wedding ceremonies, as they feel that doing so would go against their beliefs that marriage is between one man and woman only.

Now, let's get a few things straight.

I don't agree with the pizza place's stance at all.  I believe that a person is meant to fall in love with a person that they feel is their best fit.  If it happens to be a person of the opposite gender, fantastic.  If it happens to be a person of the same gender, fantastic.  Love is love.  And I believe that everyone has the right to have a wedding and a marriage with someone who they have fallen head over heels in love with no matter who they are.  It's just that simple.

Secondly, who the hell would cater a wedding reception with pepperoni pizza in the first place?!?  No wedding that I have ever been to has ever served pizza.  I suppose they may get a pass if some of the pizza toppings were lobster, caviar, or tomato sauce flown in from the middle of Italy.  But really, catering a wedding with pizza?  Why not just have the wedding reception at Pizza Hut?

And even if I did get married and my spouse and I had some love affair with pizza and wanted to have a "make-your-own-pizza" bar to add a kitsch factor to the reception - that pizza place would be the last place I would want to cater my wedding.  I don't support businesses who willingly single out and exclude people just because of something that they can't and shouldn't change about themselves.

Bottom line, the pizzeria was wrong, as are the people who believe that this law grants them the right to be completely homophobic. 

Well, apparently millions of other people thought the same way, and after leaving behind reviews on Yelp attacking them, taunting them on social media, and hurling unpleasant comments at the owners of the pizzeria, they were forced to close up shop.

I mean, I don't see how anyone can alienate a significant part of the global population and have it be a good thing.  Excluding customers is NEVER good business practice.

Oh, but the owners themselves state that they had every right to do so because they are a Christian business and they have the right to turn away anyone who goes against that belief.  I wonder if they served seafood pizzas on Sundays, or turned away customers who were dressed in a cotton shirt and polyester jacket?

Perhaps the most damning statement that sealed the deal of this pizzeria was the statement made by one of the owners of the pizzeria, which read as follows. 

"That lifestyle is something they choose.  I choose to be heterosexual.  They choose to be homosexual.  Why should I be beat over the head to go along with something they choose?"

Well, how about because most of us know that being gay or straight is something that none of us "choose" to be.  We are who we are because we are born this way.  Just ask Lady Gaga.



Or better still, just ask the LGBTQ community themselves.  With the bullying and abuse that they have sustained for decades just for identifying as LGBTQ, how can anybody say that they chose a life of being denied rights and being constantly abused and ridiculed for it? 

Well, here's the continuation of this story, and it goes back to the first paragraph that I wrote about it.  Apparently with the closure of the pizzeria, a group of people decided to start up a fundraising group on the popular fundraising website "GoFundMe.com".  They actually started up a fundraising group to raise money for the pizzeria owners who took a bigoted stand and had to close their business as a result of it.  At last count, this fundraising effort has raised - get this - $840,000!

That's right.  People donated almost a million dollars to the pizzeria that basically told people who were LGBTQ that they were not welcome.

That's disgusting.

And what's really frustrating about the whole thing is reading some of the comments that people have left behind when they made those donations.  I was expecting to see some comments about how the pizza was the best in Indiana, and certainly some people did donate because of the quality of the product and not necessarily commenting on the public relations nightmare that the scandal initially kicked off.  That I can respect.

Comments from people who have never eaten one slice of pizza from the establishment and who are only donating to "preserve Christian values" or "stick it to the liberal media".  Yeah, just shut up.  Seriously, just shut up.

As far as I am concerned, none of the people who are responsible for the pizza fundraiser have any idea what it is like to be true Christians.  They're the type of people who get dressed up in their grey suits and pastel coloured Easter Sunday dresses to listen to some guy read a Bible for three hours, thinking that is enough to make them feel Christian - when the other six days of the week, they snub anybody who thinks differently from them.  They preach a good game about being true Christians, but they never seem to do any practicing about it.

And in regards to the comments about sticking it to the liberal media?  Hell, I find both extremely left wing and extremely right wing news to be equally idiotic.  I'm a fence sitter on the political spectrum, and happy to be that way.

And for those of you who donated to this pizzeria, ask yourself this question.  If you really wanted to display true Christianity and be kind and giving to each other, why not take that money and donate it to local food banks or local children's charities, or some other organization that would actually use the money to help people?  Do we even have any guarantee that the pizza shop owners would use the money to reopen their business or would they just keep it all for themselves?  Who needs to go on "Survivor" to win a million bucks when you can just make an offensive comment and have a bunch of ill-informed people just give you a million dollars for speaking your mind?

When did online fundraising become another weapon to humiliate an entire group of people?



Fortunately, some people are fighting back against this.  One Chicago based sausage shop, Big Guys Sausage Stand, is taking a stand against bigotry by posting their own fundraising effort (which you can click on HERE to donate to - provided you have a major credit card).  They're up front about all the money going to charity, and unlike the unnamed pizza shop, they want to have this fundraiser make everybody feel welcome at his shop.  As owner Brendan O'Connor states;

"At Big Guys Sausage Stand, we use a lot of ingredients to make great homemade sandwiches, but one ingredient we never use is hate. You might get served by a Haitian, or Mexican or even a Rastafarian guy, but no matter who serves you they will do so without condemnation or scorn."

And for those of you who want to make the claim that I am taking a stand...well, you're right.  I don't believe in bullying anyone for being who they are.  That's why I'm happy to post the link to this fundraising effort rather than the other one.

And besides.  I've made no secret about my stance on religious beliefs.  It's awesome if you have them, but don't use them as justification to attack somebody else.  I can't stand people who hide behind a cloak of pseudo-Christianity as an excuse to be a complete jerk when the church doors close behind them.

Friday, April 10, 2015

Friday Thoughts

April 10, 2015

You know, I have to admit that lately I have been feeling a little bit down.  And, unlike other circumstances in which I've been trying to figure out why that is the case, this time I think I'm starting to understand why.

I guess there's no easy way to say this, so I'm just going to come out with it.  Everyone close to me seems to be ditching me.

Wait.  That sounds a might bit melodramatic.  Let's try rewording that last phrase.

Everyone close to me is embarking on new adventures.  Yeah, that sounds much better and less whiny.

Over the last six months or so, I reckon that I have seen close to fifteen co-workers leaving the workplace that I am currently at - fifteen co-workers that I have really grown close to over the last few years.  Some have moved on to other stores in the district.  Some have gotten new jobs that have nothing to do with retail in general.  And some have completely turned their lives upside down and have fled the city altogether to start a new life in a new city.

Now, before I go on with this blog entry, I want to state that I am one hundred per cent happy for each one of these people.  All of them have worked hard and thought hard about the decisions that have seen them leave our workplace, and I am definitely pulling for them.

At the same time, there's a part of me that is always going to miss them because of the fact that these people truly became really good friends, and they became people that I absolutely trusted.  And I don't care who you are in this world.  It is extremely hard to find that special bond or a connection with a person, let alone an entire sector of a workplace, school, church, or other public gathering place.



I know.  I've had trust issues my whole life.

What many people probably don't know about me is that I tend to be a really closed book when I first meet people.  I know it seems incredibly hard to believe, considering that over the last four years, I've pretty much wrote my whole biography in cyberspace for anybody to read. 

(Though granted, the pop culture references sort of mask some of the secrets I've shared that - well - aren't secrets anymore.)

But if one were to sit down with me and have a chat at a coffee house or restaurant booth - especially if we're just meeting up for the first time - it is more difficult for me to open up to people.

Because I'm still trying to feel you out.

In my youth, I made the mistake of trusting people too quickly.  Oh, I was so sociable and friendly, and told people anything and everything on my mind - and unfortunately those people took everything I said and used it to make me feel bad about myself.  And I admit that after putting my trust in people only to get burned, there was a time in my life where I just decided that it wasn't worth getting to know anybody.

Here's a bit of a confession to all of you - especially those of you who have been reading this blog and who might have only known me for a year or two.  For the first six months that I was working at my current job, I never really interacted with ANYONE.  In our employee lounge, I was more or less an observer than I was a participant.  I would sit in a corner watching everyone else interacting with each other, wondering how they did it so easily, while I was having trouble.

I think that it took me a total of six months to try and feel people out.  I began with befriending people who were around my age first, and from there I started befriending people who were older than I was.  Once I started to get to know them, I began to open up more.  Granted it took a lot of time for me to do so, but the end result was worth it.

And now, here it is, ten years later, and many of them have now gone off on their own directions, and once again, I kind of feel the same way that I did ten years ago.  I feel as though I'm starting all over again, and I am once more hiding in a corner in the lunch room observing, rather than participating.

I know that my friendships with those who have left are going to continue for years after the fact...but somehow, it's just not the same.

Have any of you ever felt that way?

Thursday, April 09, 2015

Mega Man I

Back in the days in which I was a hardcore gamer - as opposed to being "Gamer Light" that I currently am - I used to play a lot of video games. 

And one thing that I have learned over the years is that some video game manufacturing companies are better than others.

For instance, take Nintendo.  They're the guys who brought us Super Mario Brothers, Donkey Kong, Kirby, and Starfox.  I can't recall the company coming out with a terrible game, and they are always consistently great.

On the flipside, the company known as LJN, known for releasing the video game adaptations of "Back To The Future", "Jaws", "Who Framed Roger Rabbit", and "Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure", produced some of the worst video games ever made.  Not that any of them were as bad as say, "E.T." for the Atari...but trust me, they were bad.

Some video game companies started off fantastic, but ended up falling apart after a shift in the company dynamics.  Look at the Square company that came up with "Final Fantasy".  When they were known as "SquareSoft", they were at their prime.  Since they became Square-Enix, they haven't been as good.  At least, that's my opinion.

Or sometimes, the quality of the games themselves decline due to the production company that manufactures them.  The first three Spyro the Dragon games were produced by Insomniac Games and were awesome.  The next game was done by Check Six Studios and Equinox Digital Entertainment, and was so filled with bugs that it made the game quite unenjoyable.  Now that Spyro is under the Skylanders umbrella, it seems to be doing much better.



And then there's Capcom.

Now, Capcom is a company that elicits a lot of mixed opinions within the gaming community.  Some really don't like the company because they feel that the games that they release are way too difficult.  To an extent, I agree.  Have you ever played "Ghosts 'N Goblins" straight through without losing a life?  Very few can make that claim.  I can't.

But Capcom has made a killing on releasing one successful franchise right after another from "Street Fighter" to "Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney".  And while the games are challenging, they are also fun to play.

And in today's blog, we're going to be talking about what I think is one of Capcom's biggest success stories - and it's a video game that I can't believe that I haven't done a blog about. 

I even remember the first time I played this game.  Back in the days in which I was a kid, video games were extremely expensive to purchase (and let's face it, $70 for a copy of "Bioshock" is still ridiculous), so if you were like me, you went down to the local video store and rented a game for $2.50 per day.  Believe me, that was the only way that I managed to be a huge gamer back in my childhood.

That's where I saw this game.



Behold.  The game that kicked off one of Capcom's biggest success stories.  The original "Mega Man", released in North America on December 17, 1987 by Nintendo.

Of course, I bet you're wondering what the heck is up with the cover art.  You're thinking "That does NOT look like Mega Man!"



I agree.  I'm more accustomed to this classic look.

But keep in mind that "Mega Man" was brand new, so the company was probably still testing the waters in character design.



I mean, this was what Mario looked like in 1981 when "Donkey Kong" came out.  He's evolved a lot in 34 years.

Anyway, back to "Mega Man".

The story of Mega Man goes like this.  Mega Man is created by Dr. Light and his assistant Dr. Wily.  He was one of seven created by the duo to perform industrial tasks to better the world. 

And if that's where the story ended, it would make for a really lame video game.

I suppose it's a very good thing that Dr. Wily has decided that he wanted to be top dog, even if it meant stabbing his partner in the back.  He manages to get access to six of the seven robots and reprograms them to do his bidding, and these six robots end up being Dr. Wily's tools for world domination.

However, Dr. Light still has an ace up his sleeve.  Mega Man.



The game's mission is to go through each of the game's six stages, where at the end of each stage is one of the six robots that Dr. Wily has taken control of.  And each level is designed to match the characteristics of each boss robot.  They are...



Bomb Man - Created for clearing large sections of land through the power of detonation.  Is a bit of a daredevil.

Cut Man - A robot designed to chop down trees and create lumber.  Always in a terrible mood.

Elec Man - He was designed to use the power of electricity to control nuclear power plants.  Instead, he uses his power to shock anyone who crosses his path.  He is competant, but egotistical.

Fire Man - What was once designed as a method to incinerate garbage, Fire Man is now set to burn down entire cities, thanks to Dr. Wily's reprogramming.  Hates the cold.

Guts Man - Possesses great physical strength, which could cause a lot of problems for Mega Man.  Don't let this guy's tough personality fool you though.  He sees the other robots as his family and will do anything to protect them.

Ice Man - The polar opposite of Fire Man, Ice Man can leave Mega Man feeling really cold.  But all it takes it a little bit of heat to tame this frosty beast.

If Mega Man can defeat all six robots, then he can go up against Dr. Wily and save the world from complete destruction.

That being said, do you have any idea how hard it was to do just that?  I reckon it took me 47 tries just to even get to Elec Man, let alone defeat him!  The game is tough, and just about anyone who has played "Mega Man" can appreciate how tough it is.

But finally being able to finish the game?  So rewarding.

And, luckily for you, there are at least nine other Mega Man games in the series for you to play.  I admit that my favourite of the bunch is Mega Man III, but you feel free to choose your favourite.