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Tuesday, May 26, 2015

May 26, 1995

We interrupt this edition of "A POP CULTURE ADDICT'S GUIDE TO LIFE" retrospective to bring you a special edition of the Tuesday Timeline.  I made it a mission to do one Timeline entry for each day of the year, and I think I'm getting fairly close to making that happen. 

Of course, to keep with the spirit of the month long feature, I have decided that every Tuesday Timeline until June 9 will feature a date between 1981 and 2015.  After all, those are the years that I've been alive for!

That being said, I found it difficult to find a suitable topic for May 26.  All the good events that took place seemed to happen before I was even born!  I had to get a little creative, and take a look at the box office listings of the last thirty-four years to get inspired.

So, that's your only clue.  The Tuesday Timeline has to do with a movie.  But which one?  Well, we'll get to that in a moment.  In the meantime, what's say we have a look at the other events of May 26.

1293 - 30,000 are killed in Kamakura, Kanagawa, Japan after an earthquake strikes

1647 - Alse Young is hanged in Hartford, Connecticut - the first person in New England to be executed after being accused of being a witch

1783 - A Grand Jubilee Day is held at North Stratford, Connecticut, celebrating the end of fighting at the American Revolution

1805 - Napoleon Bonaparte assumes the title of King of Italy

1822 - In Norway, the Grue Church fire takes place, killing 116

1857 - American slave Dred Scott is emancipated by the Blow family - his original owners

1896 - Charles Dow publishes the very first edition of the Dow Jones Industrial Average

1897 - Bram Stoker's "Dracula" is published for the first time

1906 - London's Vauxhall Bridge is opened to the public

1920 - American singer Peggy Lee (d. 2002) is born in Jamestown, North Dakota

1923 - Actor James Arness (d. 2011) is born in Minneapolis, Minnesota

1926 - American trumpet player Miles Davis (d. 1991) is born in Alton, Illinois

1928 - Controversial pathologist Jack Kevorkian (d. 2011) is born in Pontiac, Michigan

1942 - The Battle of Gazala takes place during World War II

1951 - Astronaut Sally Ride (d. 2012) is born in Los Angeles, California

1972 - The United States and the Soviet Union sign the Anti-Ballistic Missile Treaty

1977 - George Willig becomes the first person to climb the South Tower of the World Trade Center in New York City

1983 - Thousands are injured and at least 103 people are killed when a 7.7 earthquake which spawned a tsunami strikes Japan

1998 - The very first "National Sorry Day" is held in Australia

2004 - Terry Nichols - an accomplice in the 1995 Oklahoma City bombings - is found guilty of 161 state murder charges

2008 - Actor/director Sydney Pollack passes away at the age of 73

2010 - Radio/television show host Art Linkletter dies at the age of 97

And for celebrity birthdays, we have the following people turning one year older; Roy Dotrice, Alec McCowan, Brent Musburger, Stevie Nicks, Pam Grier, Philip Michael Thomas, Hank Williams Jr., Kristina Olsen, Margaret Colin, Doug Hutchison, Genie Francis, Bobcat Goldthwait, Lenny Kravitz, Helena Bonham Carter, Kevin Moore, John Baird, Matt Stone, Patsy Palmer, Nicki Aycox, Lauryn Hill, Jason Manford, Isaac Slade, and Kerry Ingram.

And now for today's date.



Ah...looks like twenty years ago.  May 26, 1995.

So, I already mentioned beforehand that today's date is linked to a movie.  And May 26, 1995 was the date that one particular movie was released.

And I have a personal story to tell you that is linked to this movie - although at first, it might seem like a story where I was being picked on.  Trust me, it wasn't the case.

For starters, the person who was doing the picking on was a second grade kid.  I was in the eighth grade at the time.  He would always come towards me and run up to me and call me "Fatso", which at first I didn't know what the heck that was all about.  I mean, I have always had issues with my weight for as long as I could remember, and certainly back in 1995, I was considered "chunky".  I was after all just under six feet tall back then.

But still, this mystery of this second grade kid calling me Fatso was a little bit strange.  Even more strange was the fact that this didn't start happening until the end of the school year - right around May 26, to be exact.

So, I did a little bit of investigating, and I come to find out that this kid had a sister in the seventh grade.  And being that all of our Grade 7/8 classes were split that year, it was really easy to find her.  So, I point blank asked her what was up with her kid brother and why he kept calling me that name even though I never knew him.

She laughed, and explained that it was not meant to be taken maliciously at all.  You see, he had gone to the movies with his family and one of the characters in the film was named "Fatso", and since he saw that movie, he kept running around the playground, calling people "Fatso".

Or sometimes, he'd call someone "Stretch", or "Stinkie".  Yeah, I suppose being called "Stinkie" would be much worse than "Fatso".  I could have ran with "Stretch" though.  I was one of the tallest students in the whole school.

So, I basically allowed the kid to call me "Fatso" for the rest of the school year.  After all, it was over in thirty days anyways.  Besides, I don't believe he was being mean about it.  He was just trying to play with the ghosts that appeared in the movie.  Kids have wild imaginations, after all.

(At least...that's what I TELL myself, anyway.)



I tell you, that kid was so into the "Fatso/Stinkie/Stretch" thing that I am amazed that he didn't start calling himself Casper!



After all, those three ghosts appeared in the movie adaptation of "Casper", which was released twenty years ago today!  Fatso, Stinkie, and Stretch just happened to be the names of Casper's uncles - known by most people as the "Ghostly Trio".



So, a brief history of Casper.  Casper the Friendly Ghost was one of the flagship characters of the various titles published by Harvey Comics along with Baby Huey, Little Lotta, Wendy the Good Witch, and Richie Rich.

(Come to think of it, there was a time in which I believed that Casper and Richie Rich were the same person, given that they look exactly alike in the comics.  Maybe poor Richie Rich ended up drowning in his own vault of cash?)

Now, the Casper that you saw in the comic books was slightly tweaked for the film version.  Sure, the spirit of the late Casper McFadden was still friendly, and all he really wanted was to have some friends.  Unfortunately, all he got were his uncles, who basically are so obnoxious and disgusting that they keep everybody away from their home.

In the movie, we learn that a vicious, self-centered young woman named Carrigan Crittenden (Cathy Moriarty) has inherited the very house that Casper and his uncles call home - Whipstaff Manor, situated in the town of Friendship, Maine.  She is initially upset that she has been left the house and only the house by her late father, until she discovers that there is a hidden treasure somewhere inside.  But with Stretch, Fatso, and Stinkie (Joe Nipote, Brad Garrett, and Joe Alaskey respectively) causing all kinds of havoc, Carrigan is discovering that even getting inside the house would prove difficult. 



It is Casper (Malachi Pearson/Devon Sawa) who decides to intervene by manipulating the television so that Carrigan will contact a paranormal therapist named James Harvey (Bill Pullman), which Carrigan arranges to bring to the house so that he can use his skills to get rid of the ghosts.

Now, you probably are thinking that Casper has lost his mind.  After all, he basically sealed his own death warrant - um, no...wait.  Eviction notice.  Yes, that sounds better.  After all, Casper is already dead.  Well, the human version of Casper, anyway.

Anyway...

The real reason why Casper has such a fixation on the good doctor is because he happens to have a crush on the good doctor's daughter, Kat (Christina Ricci).  And as it turns out, there's conflict happening between father and daughter.  Before the events of the film, James' wife Amelia (Amy Brenneman) passes away, and James can't seem to let go.  He is convinced that because she died so young that she has unfinished business in the world, and he will not rest until he can resolve things with her.  This means that James has moved all over the country to try and find the spirit of his wife, meaning that Kat has a rather lonely life because of it.

So, you can probably expect the lonely in life Kat to befriend lonely in death Casper.  It's certainly a feeling that all of us have felt at one time or another, feeling completely alone and finding it difficult to make new friends because of the influences of other people.  I think that's why I enjoyed this movie a lot when I first watched it.  It truly is a story about friendship and how strong a bond it truly can be.  And believe me, Casper and Kat will need that bond to get through the rest of the story which includes an increasingly angry Carrigan, an incredibly stubborn James, and increasingly wacky antics by the Ghostly Trio.

Seriously check the film out.  At 20 years old, it's a real classic.

Monday, May 25, 2015

The Twenty-Second Year - Volunteers



I don't know about you
But I'm feeling 22
Everything will be alright
If you keep me next to you
You don't know about me
But I'll bet you want to
Everything will be alright
If we just keep dancing like we're 22
     -Taylor Swift

(Did I just really quote two Taylor Swift songs within a two week period in this blog?  Wowzers.)

But, then again, Taylor Swift seems to be the queen of writing songs about ages.  I'm actively waiting for her next dance hit "Thirty-Three And A Third Forever".



Until then, we'll settle for twenty-two.  The year that I decided that one of the best ways to earn some respect from the community - as well as bulking up my resume for job searching - was volunteer work and community service.

And why not?  Volunteer work is certainly something that a lot of people take pride in.  Sometime after I graduated high school, it became a requirement that all high school students have to complete 40 hours of community service before they are allowed to receive their diplomas, and looking back on it, I wish they had implemented this while I was still in school.  As critical as I am of the Ontario education system, this was one of the things that they got right, as far as I'm concerned.

And, at 22, I began doing some volunteer work at a place that I thought that I would never set foot in.  Ever.  But we'll get to that a little bit later.

In the meantime, let's have a look at what was big in pop culture during the week of my 22nd birthday, shall we?



#1 SONG THE WEEK OF 5/18/2003
"Get Busy" - SEAN PAUL

Confession time.  I actually have this listed as one of my guilty pleasure songs.  I'm not usually a fan of rap music, but when you mix it with a little bit of Jamaican reggae flair, I find it quite awesome.  It's probably why I also liked Bob Marley, Inner Circle, and Maxi Priest growing up. 



#1 AT THE BOX OFFICE THE WEEK OF 5/18/2003
"The Matrix:  Reloaded"

Pass.  I didn't even like the first one.  Nothing against Keanu Reeves or Laurence Fishburne - I just wasn't all that attracted to the plot line.  The special effects weren't bad though, I'll give them that.



#1 TELEVISION SHOW FOR THE 2003/2004 SEASON
"American Idol"



Sigh...get used to this one, because you'll likely see this one pop up in the next few entries.  This was the year that Ruben Studdard won, and the year that millions of Clay Aiken fans cried foul, claiming that he should have won instead.  In the end...really, what happened to both of them?  Anyone?

Now, 22 was a rather interesting year.  It was the year that I should have graduated from university, but as we all know, I left school early because I knew that it wasn't what I was meant to do.  But, dare I say that leaving school and coming back to my hometown was almost sort of a blessing in disguise.

Sure, I was in debt up to my eyeballs and I didn't really have a set plan in motion.  But I did have a lot of things going for me.  For one, being home allowed me to bond with my niece and three nephews, and I would like to think that I have a close relationship with all four of them.  Had I stayed in Ottawa, I may not have had that happen.  It certainly would have been a lot different.

And, really, coming back home was sort of a good thing because I really didn't know anybody.  My high school classmates were all scattered around Canada and the United States, and knowing that I would likely never see them again made it surprisingly easier for me to get my bearings together.  There were no more negative influences around me, so I was more free to be myself.  I guess in that sense, I took a little bit of the confidence that I discovered in Ottawa back home with me and applied it to life.

(Mind you, it was still a fairly lonely life at 22.  That would eventually change - but it would take a little time for that to happen.)

In the meantime, it was suggested that I try my hand at volunteer work, and it was my sister that floated the idea by me.  At the time, my nephew was starting kindergarten, and she thought that if I at least went and volunteered at his school ten hours a week in the two kindergarten classes, it would add some experience to my resume, and it might make him feel more comfortable in class if he saw a familiar face.



And here's the kicker.  The very place where my nephew attended kindergarten was my old elementary school!  You know, the one that I hadn't set foot in for eight whole years?

This kind of made me nervous.  Sure, my time in elementary school wasn't quite as horrific as high school, but it wasn't all rainbows and unicorns.  Some of the kids were cruel - and some of the teachers were even crueler.  And of course, I had a bit of a reputation of being a "problem child" because of my struggle to make friends, so the last thing I needed was to have the faculty look at me with judging eyes.

So, imagine my surprise when I started volunteering at the school and realizing that with the exception of one teacher, everyone else was GONE!  Seriously!  I was only gone for eight years, and the entire staff had been completely replaced!  It was so weird.

Then again, most of the teachers that I had in school were over the age of fifty.  Most of them retired, and in the case of a janitor and my old music teacher (the one I referenced in my year 13 memory), they sadly passed away.

But this was also a good thing.  Nobody knew me at that school.  Nobody knew of what happened in that school while I was a student, and I was perfectly fine with that.  It felt like I was getting a fresh new start with that school, and I breathed a sigh of relief over it.

There were two kindergarten teachers at the school that I volunteered at.  There was my nephew's teacher, Ms. Zaky, and Mrs. Smith, the other kindergarten teacher.  Mrs. Smith was in room one (my old classroom), and Ms. Zaky was in room two.  Mrs. Smith taught two classes of kids, while Ms. Zaky taught one.  I believe the schedule was Mrs. Smith's A class and Ms. Zaky's class were in every Monday and Wednesday, and every other Friday.  Mrs. Smith's B class was Tuesdays, Thursdays, and every other Friday.

And, as far as which class I liked the best?  I can't deny it.  I loved them all. 



Now, you may think that being in a class filled with two dozen four and five year olds would have been pure hell on earth, but for whatever reason, I loved every minute of it.  I loved reading stories to them.  I played puzzles with them.  I helped teach them how to write their names.  I even taught them my special trick to make green by mixing blue and yellow together.



I even remember the time that I volunteered to be one of the "parent" chaperones for the kindergarten field trip to the apple orchard, even though I wasn't anywhere close to being a parent.  And, yes...I did note that a couple of the parent volunteers looked at me as if I had no right to be there!  Some parents could be jerky, I have to admit.  But you know, one of the kids was my nephew, and Ms. Zaky assigned him and another boy under my care, so it was great to know that the teachers trusted me enough to watch over the kids.

And guess what?  None of the kids died under my watch!  We may have gotten a bit distracted by a maze that looked like it was built with giant marshmallows, but other than that, it was a really fun experience!

Really, that whole volunteer experience was amazing because I felt like I was serving a purpose.  Sure, I wasn't getting paid actual money for my services, but I was learning how to be more mature, more responsible, and I definitely think that I made an impact on those kids.

And do you know how I know this?  Well, in January 2004, I had gotten accepted into a job seeking program (where it was sort of like a paid internship), and I had to leave my volunteer position for a little while.  It was really sad to say goodbye to the kids, but I promised them that I would be back before the end of the year to say goodbye to them.

And, as it turned out, I did come back for the last two weeks of school - and to see their little faces beam with excitement and have them know who I was...there's no feeling like it.

You know, I briefly thought about pursuing a career in early childhood education after that volunteer stint.  But thinking about it, I don't know if it would have worked out.  I don't like the politics of the education system here in my province, and I am fairly mouthy and stubborn.  I guess I'm one of those who would want to teach for the children's sake, and not use them as bargaining chips.  That's why my becoming a teacher would probably have not worked out.

Though at least I know that I am good with kids.  And while I'm not a parent yet...I know if it is in the cards, I'd probably survive it.

2003 was a year in which I learned a lot about life through volunteer work.  2004 would be a year in which I learned a lot about life through actual paid work - and it may explain why I have a bit of an issue with the education system - at least when it comes to early childhood education, anyway. 


Of course, you will have to wait until Wednesday for that story.  

Sunday, May 24, 2015

Twenty-One: The "Everything Happens For A Reason" Year

All right.  Before I even get started with any attempt at a story for today, I want to draw your attention to something.

Today is the official fourth anniversary of this blog!  Four years I've been doing this, and for four years, I've probably learned a lot more about myself than I ever thought possible.  Whoever said that blogging really opened your mind up to new possibilities really wasn't kidding!  Writing about things that have been bothering you, or talking about happy moments certainly makes one appreciate themselves more.  It allows me to put perspective and reflection in a lot of things.



Which is good, since my twenty-first birthday kicked off a whole year of perspective and reflection.  I had just left university after discovering that it wasn't for me.  What else was I going to do?

Surprisingly enough, given all that had happened - leaving school, having to move back home, no job prospects - 21 should have been a rock bottom year for me.  But, yet, it wasn't. 

(Seriously, nothing will ever be worse than sixteen.  Nothing.)

Yeah, twenty-one wasn't my best year.  But it allowed me to do a whole lot of thinking about things, and why everything had gone so pear-shaped.

But first, let's talk about what was big in pop culture around the time I turned 21.  Let's go.



#1 SONG THE WEEK OF 5/18/2002
"Foolish" - ASHANTI

Oh, what an appropriate song title!  I certainly did feel very foolish trying to figure out what I was going to do with my freshly derailed life.  At least Ashanti had a decent singing voice.  Whatever happened to her anyway?



#1 AT THE BOX OFFICE THE WEEK OF 5/18/2002
"Star Wars II:  Attack Of The Clones"

I suppose it was inevitable.  All one has to do is mention the words "New Star Wars Movie" and everyone seems to pop out of the woodwork to see it.  Myself?  I've only managed to see the original trilogy that ran from 1977-1983.  And, from what I hear from other people, that's really all I need to see!



#1 TELEVISION SHOW FOR THE 2002-2003 SEASON
"CSI:  Crime Scene Investigation"

Sigh...the CSI that started it all.  After fifteen seasons, the show aired its last murder case.  But back in 2002-2003, the show was in its prime.  I remember it being television that you couldn't miss back then.  I think Warrick's death in Season 9 made me stop watching the show.

So, twenty-one was the year that I came back to the place that I so desperately wanted to leave with my tail between my legs.  Good times.

Better still.  I came home with $14,000 in debt and hardly any jobs to be found because the town was so small.  Woo-hoo! 

Can you say...epic fail?  I can.  Twenty-one was my epic fail year.

However, twenty-one was also my "if I can survive this, I can survive anything" year, not to mention my "things happen for a reason, so don't try to understand it, just live it" year.

Sure, I had absolutely nothing going for me...except for the fact that it allowed me some much needed time for myself that I could use at my own disposal.  Time that I needed to think things out.  If I had turned 21 in 1969, I would have made the perfect hippie, come to think of it.



You see, it was at the age of 21 that I decided that I wanted to fine tune my writing style, and really become serious about writing everything down that was going through my mind.  Even though money was incredibly tight that year and I couldn't afford a computer (and there were no iPads or tablets in 2002), I always had paper and Papermate pens at my disposal.  And over the course of my twenty-first year, I wrote everything down and filled up entire binders full of thoughts and feelings.  Sometimes they were short stories, and other times they were random thoughts.  But it served as a bit of therapy for me.  It helped me stay calm through some really tumultuous times, and it allowed me to get my mind off of the fact that things had gone pear-shaped.

Of course, this did not pay any bills or supported myself, so I took on some odd jobs during this time, such as babysitting my niece and three nephews, and things like that.

But while I was trying to figure out what my future was possibly going to hold, at the same time, I was trying to work out why I decided to come back home - and why I was so desperate to leave in the first place.

Obviously, it was really easy to figure out why I left in the first place.  My town was a small town - 21,000 people in 2002 - and it was being marketed as the ultimate retirement community.  It was no secret that city council wanted to get the majority of the youth out of town so they could move in retirees from all over the world.  By the time I left home at nineteen, I had felt that people my age simply weren't welcome in town any longer - and this was my hometown!

And certainly the economy was (and still is) a factor behind why I chose to leave town the first time.  The focus on retirement meant that a lot of businesses were reluctant to invest in the community, and this meant that not a lot of jobs were available.  People tend to go where the jobs are, and back in 2000, jobs were almost non-existent in my town.  But a huge city like Ottawa surely had more opportunities.  Hence why I moved.

But even those reasons weren't the only reasons why I wanted to get far away from town as possible.  And while this confession may make me sound like a coward, I don't really know how else to word it.

Basically, I wanted to leave town because I wanted to run away from my past.

I mean, let's face it.  My reputation around town was that I was a victim.  I was constantly bullied by people who thought they were better than me because they grew up in better neighbourhoods than I did, or because their fathers had more glamourous and high-paying jobs than mine did.  I never really felt like I was a part of the community, and nobody really ever told me what I had to do to be able to feel like I belonged there.  Everyone else in my family seemed to amalgamate themselves into town society and carve out their own place in the community, but I had such a difficult time doing that.

I guess when you remove yourself from the community for so long - the two years I was away in Ottawa, as well as my entire teenage period where I hid away from people - it would be hard for anyone to try and get back into the swing of things.

But, since I had come back home, I figured that there had to be a reason why.  Obviously, the main reason was finances - I couldn't really afford to stay in Ottawa, or anywhere else for that matter.  But I couldn't help but think that there had to have been another reason why I had no choice but to come back home.

It was almost as if I had unfinished business to take care of.

Granted, I was never a big believer in fate and the cosmos and destiny.  I figured that if there was such a thing, it happened to other people.  Fate would have nothing to do with a blue-collar, working class family like mine. 

But there had to be a reason why I came back (and as of right now, still stayed).  And, while I didn't quite have the answers that I was looking for at twenty-one, over the next thirteen years, that answer would become crystal clear.


But, I could only reflect for so long before I got bored...and at the age of twenty-two, I made the first steps to get more involved with the community - with some good and bad results.



In the meantime, happy 4th birthday, "A POP CULTURE ADDICT'S GUIDE TO LIFE".  Believe me, it's been great!

Saturday, May 23, 2015

Year Twenty: Glengarry Glen Gone

Well, if my nineteenth year was considered the ultimate high of my life so far, year twenty was the year in which everything came crashing down.

And, really...I can only blame myself for it.



I have to say, I turned twenty years old at a rather turbulent time in the world.  This was the year that 9/11 happened, the year in which people became afraid to open up their mail due to anthrax concerns, and the year in which the world that I knew was completely changed forever.  And, well...it was also the year that I learned the hard way that sometimes things happen for a reason.

Before we get to that though, we'll take a look at what was big in pop culture.  Sorry that I don't have any photos of me to share.  I was pretty camera shy in 2001.  But I have other things to show you.



#1 SONG THE WEEK OF 5/18/2001
"All For You" - JANET JACKSON

The second of two Janet Jackson songs to hit #1 the week of my birthday, and this one is okay...but it's not my favourite.  Though, some would say that her 2001 album was the last great album Jackson recorded before her career derailed due to "Nipplegate" three years later.  Though she does have a new album coming out later this year, so time will tell.



#1 AT THE BOX OFFICE THE WEEK OF 5/18/2001
"Shrek"

This movie was released on my actual 20th birthday, and it didn't take long for it to reach the top of the box office.  But, I have a confession to make.  As awesome as this movie was...I liked the second one the best!



#1 TELEVISION SHOW FOR THE 2001/2002 SEASON
"Friends"

Well, it only took eight years for the show "Friends" to become the most watched television show of the season, but I will say this.  "Friends" was one of those shows that actually got better with age, and certainly the ratings reflected that. 

Okay, so when we last left off in this retrospective, nineteen was great, nineteen was good, nineteen was the year that I finally found happiness, friends who liked me for me, and where I enjoyed what I was studying.  I had high expectations that as I turned 20, things would be even better.

My expectations were crushed.

Yes, my friends and I had a brilliant year together, but the following year saw all of us go our separate ways.  Thaila and Dominic lived in a different dorm, and Tasha had transferred to a different school closer to her hometown.  Kitty and I still hung out together every chance we got, but it just didn't feel the same.  It was different without the others.  I still thought the world of Kitty (and still do even though we haven't seen each other in about twelve years or so), but I guess I was feeling a bit lonely.



You see, I opted to stay in residence again (after staying with the family of the twins that I befriended the year before while I waited for a place to open up in residence - thanks again, girls, and I still think the world of you even today), and I ended up in Glengarry House - the disgusting, overheated, original residence building where the elevator got stuck, flies died all over the place, and where my roommate was some protein shake addicted narcissist who was more in love with himself than anybody else.  Needless to say, I shed no tears when he moved to a different dorm.  It was times like this that I missed having Grant around, even though he opted to live off-campus with Kris and Gabby.

I mean, I tried to make the most of my stay on the fifth floor of Glengarry House - and the fact that I was in a suite made it a lot easier to deal with - but the truth was that I was on a floor with a bunch of freshmen who I had nothing in common with.  It's not that any of them were bad people, it was just...different.  It was the exact opposite of the joy that I went through when I was at Stormont House.

But I suppose I should be lucky that I even got a spot in residence in the first place.  You see, residence living was designed mainly for first year students, and the school basically encouraged off-campus living for second year students and up.  But with rent in Ottawa being extremely expensive (even for 2001 standards), I couldn't afford to live off-campus, so I had to re-enroll in residence.  But there was a waiting list for second year students, and those with high GPA's were given first choice.  It makes sense, you know.  Providing incentives for keeping grades up.  I totally understood that.



It's just that my grade point average was just a couple of points off of being 80% - which meant that my name was at the bottom of that list.  If it wasn't for the fact that a first year student dropped out of school before he even began, I would have still been on that waiting list.

But even though I had gotten into residence, I soon discovered that my 79 point whatever average was not enough to keep me in the program that I had enrolled in.  Turns out that you needed an 80% to stay in the class.  And with a 79 point whatever average, it wasn't enough for me to continue learning about mass communications.

I appealed it.  Oh, you better believe that I appealed it.  I offered to do extra credit assignments, and I even begged them to reconsider, as if you technically rounded my grade up, it would be eighty per cent anyway.  No dice.  They told me to either change my major, or repeat the entire course again.

And, since I didn't have the money to redo the class (I was already $14,000 in debt and couldn't afford to add any more to that), I decided to change my major.  I briefly considered changing my major to film studies, but when I discovered that there was no part in the curriculum where we actually got to make our own movies, I opted not to pursue it any further.  Instead, I kept film studies as a minor, and chose to major in English.  I always liked English, and I thought if anything, I could go through to be an English teacher.

But the longer I tried to go through second year as an English major, the sooner that I came to a conclusion. 

I made a huge mistake.

I didn't want to admit it at first, but I think that it was a mistake to even enroll at Carleton University in the first place - at least at the time that I began as a student.

Yes, the first year I was a student was fun and I will always treasure it.  But I was also 19 years old, and I thought I knew it all.  I thought that I would just leave home, graduate in four years, find the perfect job, and life would just be perfect.

Did I mention that I was a little bit naive at 19?

Ideally what I should have done was waited to go to university.  Stay back and work for a year or two to save up some money, and then applied.  I probably would have had the motivation to stay with the program if I knew that it was my own money that I was investing, and not the student loans that I had taken out.  Truth be told, if I could do it all over again, I never would have taken out student loans to begin with.  The second year that I was in school, they didn't give me enough to even buy textbooks.  I was photocopying materials from the library to even attempt to catch up!

In fact, if I had to do it all over again, I would have gone to a community college, or a trades college - places that didn't seem like such an obvious money grab.  Granted, I know that all post-secondary schools seem like this, but college would have been a lot more affordable.  Plus, having taken a couple of classes at a community college over the last few years, I like the way that they are set up.  You actually learn by doing, not by listening to a middle-aged guy in a bowtie and tweed jacket enjoy hearing the sound of his own voice for three hours every Tuesday afternoon.

I guess that could explain why I ended up dropping out of university at the end of my second year.  It was just as well though.  I had become so disenchanted with the university system that I never really bothered going to many classes towards the end.  By the end of my second year, I was already on academic probation, and honestly, it was my own fault.  But, I suppose you could at least say that I never got kicked out of school.  I made the decision to leave before that happened because I simply wasn't enjoying it.

And I suppose looking back on it, that was because of my own immaturity and a lack of being prepared for the major commitment of being a university student.  As much as I told myself that I was old enough and responsible enough to handle the responsibility of being a post-secondary student at that age, I wasn't.

But it took me YEARS to make peace with that.  Nobody wants to ever admit that they were a failure at anything, and I certainly didn't want to admit that I couldn't cut it as a university student.  But the truth is that there are millions of people who came to the same conclusion that I did.  Just because it is encouraged to go to the top-ranked universities in the country doesn't mean that it is a perfect fit for everybody involved.  Believe me, I learned that lesson the hard way.

I also learned that just because I don't have a university degree that it doesn't make me any less of a person.  I know that my guidance counselors were trying to make me apply to universities because they told me that I wouldn't be happy at a college, but I wonder why I even took stock in their opinions at all.  I should have listened to my heart and waited before making a huge commitment like a post-secondary education.  It would have made things a lot easier in the long run.

In the end, I was left without a degree and a $14,000 debt.  Not exactly the parting gifts that a contestant would ever want on "Wheel of Fortune".  And while it would take me forever to pay off that debt, I did over a twelve year period, and as of now, I'm currently debt free.  And who knows?  Maybe the opportunity will come again that I get a chance to go back to school.  But this time, I'm going to do it my way and stick with it.  I have the maturity and the drive now.  More than I did when I was twenty.


And, in the continuation of this retrospective, I spent my twenty-first year doing a lot of reflecting about life...and what the hell I was going to do with it.

Friday, May 22, 2015

457 Stormont House - Where I Spent My Nineteenth Year

It's time to say goodbye to the teenage years as we continue this month long retrospective of personal tales - one for each one of my thirty-four years of life.  I hope you've enjoyed the ride so far.  From chicken pox and library cards to playing volleyball and getting lost in the streets of Montreal, it's been fun reliving a lot of fond memories.

It's actually amazing how my fondest memories have taken place in three of Canada's largest cities.  I visited Toronto when I was fourteen, and visited Montreal when I was seventeen.



At age nineteen, though.  I saved the best for last.

You see, at nineteen, I had bid high school goodbye after five...tumultuous years.  I was more than willing to leave not just high school behind, but my hometown goodbye as well.  I wanted to get as far away from all of it, so I applied to as many schools as I could that were far away from where I was currently living.

Or, rather, I applied to as many schools as I could afford to.  The fact that colleges and universities charge you to send an application in is criminal!

Before I tell you where I made my final decision, I will show you a few things.  First, a snapshot of me, taken at my graduation dinner in June 2000.



And, this will be one of the last images you see of me in here.  For whatever reason, I have no pictures of me between 2001 and 2005.  I guess I really didn't like having my picture taken between that time.  Though, don't I look snazzy in my rented tux?

And for pop culture tidbits...have a look!



#1 SONG THE WEEK OF 5/18/2000
"Maria Maria" - SANTANA f. THE PRODUCT G&B

I suppose the Latino music craze expanded into the year 2000 as well.  Though in this case, I had no objections.  I've always liked Carlos Santana and think that he's one of the greatest guitar players ever.



#1 AT THE BOX OFFICE THE WEEK OF 5/18/2000
"Gladiator"

I suppose that it was one of the biggest movies of the year, and I know quite a few people who saw it and loved it.  But to be honest, I found the film to be not as good as other people made it out to be.  That's not to say it was a horrible movie, but it's not a favourite.



#1 TELEVISION SHOW FOR THE 2000/2001 SEASON
"Survivor"

When the show premiered in May 2000, nobody predicted how huge it would become, and many people see this show as the one that sparked the reality television movement - whether they like to admit it or not.  I will say, scheduling the second season premiere after the Super Bowl?  Genius.

So, the biggest event of the year 2000 was heading off to university, and my choices that I had applied to were the University of Guelph, Ryerson University, and Carleton University.  I never applied for any community colleges because I was misled by a couple of guidance counselors who told me that I would never find a good job if I didn't go to university, so I felt pressured to apply.

You'll learn in a couple of entries why I wish I never listened to them.



Anyway, Ryerson rejected me, but Guelph and Carleton accepted my applications.  And I had my heart set on enrolling in Carleton's journalism program, but my GPA was slightly below the cutoff point.  So, I settled with mass communications as my major with film studies as my minor.  That way, I would at least be able to do something with the media, which interested me at the time.

And, well...I will say that during my first year of studies, moving to Ottawa, Ontario, and meeting a whole bunch of people who I had never met before...it was a little scary, but exhilarating at the same time.

Funnily enough, I ended up sharing the same dorm floor as a girl who I went to high school with named Jenna.  Jenna and I weren't particularly close at all, but she was far from being a mean girl.  We just didn't cross paths that much.  Of course, now that we were on the same floor as each other, we got to know each other better, and I ended up liking her by the end of the year.



Truth is, I found it surprisingly easy to befriend people at Stormont House (the name of our dormitory).  My roommate, Grant, was an awesome guy - and we were one of the only pairs of roommates who stayed roommates during the whole year.  Everyone else swapped rooms at least once!  We had our own course load, and went our different ways, but when we were together, we always got along with each other.  I also got to know Grant's pals, Kris, Gabby, and Brooke, and it was amazing how all four of us clicked with each other, even though all four of us were so different.  They certainly helped me make 457 Stormont House feel like home away from home.

We got along so well that we crammed into a car and cranked up the Little Mermaid soundtrack (that somehow Brooke had in her possession), and sang along to "Under The Sea", cruising down Bank Street towards the Rideau Centre.  Sigh.  You had to be there, I suppose.

I also befriended a few of the students who lived off-campus - in particular a couple of twins named Mandi and Meredith.  I can't say enough about those two girls, and they were both fantastic people.  I haven't seen them in years, but I hope that they are well.

I also reunited with an old classmate of mine.  Remember Orijit, the guy who moved away when we were in high school?  We were reunited at Carleton University after years apart!  I think we spent a lot of time together catching up.  Good times!

But as close as I was to Grant and his pals, and to Mandi and Meredith, I soon found my own group of four friends who I hung around with during the whole time I was in first year of university.  We went to the on-campus bars to celebrate birthdays, we hung out in each other's rooms, and we ate lunches together almost each and every day.

(Oh, and one thing about our dorm cafeteria.  They were divided into two sections - green and gold.  My group ALWAYS ate on the green side.  Let's put it this way.  Would you feel better eating in a room that was the colour of celery, or a room that was the colour of urine?)

So, the four people who quickly became my Stormont posse were - in alphabetical order - Dominic, an engineering student who was very quiet for the most part, but when he had something to say, he said it with so much eloquence that he wowed us.  We had Kitty, a Hong Kong born ball of energy who was always bouncing off the walls, but had a keen sense of helping cheer you up when you were feeling down.  Tasha was probably the one out of all of us who always seemed to have a smile on her face, even if things weren't really going well for her.  And Thaila...Thaila was probably the very definition of bohemian.  Marched to the beat of his own drum, played in a band, and definitely very open.  In fact, Thaila was the very first person I befriended in our group, followed closely by Kitty, Tasha, and Dominic.

But here's the difference between high school and university.  In high school, groups tended to hang out by themselves.  In university, everyone was welcome.  Dominic had two engineering friends named Gillian and Lynne, and they quickly became close.  Kitty and I befriended a guy named Revin, who also started hanging around with us.  I saw "The Exorcist" remake with Tasha and a mutual friend of ours named Jon.  Dominic and I took film studies together, where we befriended a girl on our floor named Rebecca, who was incredibly wonderful.   Sarah and Jan became popular because we all hung out in their room which was literally twice the size of ours (lucky ducks!).  And our 27-year-old graduate student of the Stormont House 4th floor, Joseph, also worked at the cafeteria, so he was friends with everybody!

(True story:  Whenever Joseph worked on the build your own sundae station on Sunday evenings, he always used to sneak in an extra scoop for us 4th Stormont people.  Thanks for that, Joseph!)

Really, the experience of dorm life at Carleton University could have been disasterous...but all in all, it was such a great experience.  Everyone was so mature, they treated me with respect.  I had never experienced anything like that before in my life, and it was something that I had to get used to. 

But because of having so many people who really liked me for me really made me come out of my shell.  I helped paint our floor mural.  I worked for the residence newspaper (which had a bit of a unhappy ending, but not everything could be perfection), and yes, I even went to classes and found study buddies to help me with midterms and exams!  What, did you think that all I did in university was socialize?  I did learn a lot as well!  They were also there to help me celebrate the birth of my third and final nephew...and helped me deal with the loss of my grandfather in April 2001 (My other grandfather died nine months earlier in July 2000).

Of course, in life, there are always going to be people you don't get along with.  I had some verbal sparring matches with one of the girls who lived in the dorm next to me, and honestly, I have no idea how I even developed a beef with her in the first place, but she reminded me a lot of some of the snotty girls I went to high school with - thinking that she was Queen of the World, and how nobody could measure up to her.  No loss there.

(Though I was friendly with her roommate, Candice.)
 
And, I certainly had no nice things to say about the guy who tried to incite a race war against the school by posting some racist memorandums on the walls.  I'm amazed he didn't get kicked out of school.  And considering that his roommates were African-Canadian, I'm amazed he didn't get his ass kicked!

If I could have, I'd have lived in 457 Stormont House for the rest of my life.  Not because it was the nicest place in the world - let's face it, metal beds and concrete walls are never a good look - but because for the first time in my whole life, I found people who really got me, and who really understood me.  It was such a wonderful feeling! 

Even now, I get really misty eyed thinking about it.  It's been fifteen years since I have seen any of these people, and I don't even know where they all are now.  But if any of them happen to be reading this now, I want to say thank you for the friendship you showed me.  Thank you for making me feel alive for the first time...ever.  You probably may not even know who I am, or how much you helped me, but you all made a huge difference.

After all...it's been fifteen years and I STILL KNOW YOUR NAMES!!!  That's how much of an impact you had on me!

Yeah, nineteen was a fantastic year.  One of my greatest years ever.

Which makes writing the story of my twentieth year all that much harder...