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Sunday, September 13, 2015

Look Out For The Cheater!

Today in this blog, I thought that I would talk about a particular song, as well as the tragic end that one of the members of the band that recorded the song faced.

I'll readily admit that I was inspired to write about today's topic after watching a marathon of "Forensic Files" on HLN.  After all, it's crappy weather outside, and weekends are notoriously bad for standard television now that the stupid network bigwigs have decided to axe weekend cartoons in favour of infomercials and news programs. 

Not that I'm bitter or anything.

Anyway, I've always been a sucker for mysteries and I tend to watch a lot of programs that have to do with crime stories.  When I was a teenager, I read a lot of true crime stories and I used to watch "American Justice" on A&E (remember that show?) or "Cold Case Files" because they were shows that kept my interest.  If it weren't for my ability to pass out upon seeing the sight of blood, I might have gone through to have a career in law enforcement.

Anyway, one of the episodes focused on the murder of Walter Scott, who happened to be the frontman of a band that had limited success in the 1960s.  And in all likelihood, it was a band that you probably have never even heard of.

Don't worry.  I didn't know that this band had existed until I actually watched the episode of "Forensic Files" that put the spotlight on Walter Scott and his senseless death.



Anyway, the name of the band in question is Bob Kuban and The In-Men.  The band was formed by St. Louis born Bob Kuban, a graduate of the St. Louis Institute of Music in 1964.  And what was unique about the band was that it was made up of an eight piece orchestra that simulated a little bit of the big band sound that had become popular two decades earlier. 

Unfortunately, due to the influence of "The British Invasion" and the huge success of British based bands like The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, The Dave Clark Five, and The Hollies, the band only managed to have one major hit on the charts.



ARTIST:  Bob Kuban and The In-Men
SONG:  The Cheater
ALBUM:  Look Out For The Cheater
DATE RELEASED:  January 1966
PEAK POSITION ON THE BILLBOARD CHARTS:  #12

Now, Bob Kuban and The In-Men had a couple of other single releases during the 1960s.  One song, "The Teaser", peaked at #70.  The group also did their own version of "Drive My Car" (written by Paul McCartney and John Lennon), which barely managed to chart within the Top 100 (peaking at #93).  But it was this single that was easily the band's biggest hit.



I think a part of that was the delivery of the lyrics by Walter Scott.  He really put forth a lot of effort in making the song stand out.  And it certainly was a song that had a very direct message - it's a wonder that Ashley Madison hasn't used the song as their official theme!  Yes, the song is all about a guy who has a really bad reputation when it came to relationships.  He was a serial cheater.  A cheater that did so much cheating that had Maury Povich had a show back in those days, he would have appeared every other week to prove that he had never fathered that woman's child.

Little did anybody know that this song would end up being a rather ironic one in the case of Walter Scott - or at least it ended up becoming one seventeen years after this single charted. 

The date was December 27, 1983, and it could be argued that Walter Scott was in a good place.  He was married to his second wife, JoAnn Calcaterra, and he was looking forward to his upcoming forty-first birthday, which was on February 7.  And it appeared as though he would be reuniting with Bob Kuban for a reunion tour.  Scott had left the band shortly after "The Cheater" was released in an effort to pursue a solo career, but when that did not pan out, he started touring with a cover band throughout the 1970s and early 1980s.  Kuban and Scott had reunited a few months earlier for a television appearance, and both had decided that they would spend 1984 playing several concerts to celebrate the band's twentieth anniversary.

Only those plans never came to fruition, as Scott disappeared that evening.

He was not found until April 1987 - a full three years and four months after he first went missing.  His body was stuffed inside of a cistern, floating face down, wearing the same clothes that he was wearing at the time of his disappearance.  It was later discovered that Scott had been murdered the very night he disappeared, and that the cause of death was a gunshot would to the back.  Further evidence revealed that Scott had been tied up prior to being shot, indicating that Scott was the victim of premeditated murder.

Now, here's where the irony of the song "The Cheater" comes into play.  You see, Scott's wife was having an affair with James H. Williams, and Williams decided to come up with the plan to kill Walter so that he and JoAnn could be free to be together.  The couple would eventually marry in 1986 - just a few months before Scott's body was unearthed.

What makes this case even more chilling was the fact that Williams was also charged with murdering his own wife, Sharon Williams.

Both JoAnn Calcaterra Williams and James H. Williams faced charges related to the murder of Walter Scott.  JoAnn was charged with hindering the prosecution of Scott's murder, as she wasn't exactly honest with the investigators involved in the case, and was sentenced to five years in prison.  James H. Williams, was charged with two counts of capital murder - one for each person who died at his hands.

Williams was given a life sentence for the two murders, and died in prison exactly four years ago today, on September 13, 2011.

It was certainly a case in the music history files of singers who died tragic deaths.  In the case of Walter Scott, he certainly had reason to fear "the cheater".  After all, the cheater in this case cheated him out of the rest of his life.


Tough luck for the cheater

Too bad for the fool hearted clown
Tough break for the cheater
Who used to build you up
Just to let you down

Friday, September 11, 2015

New Archies Reviewed: Episode 4B - Jughead Predicts

So, last week, I took a hiatus from The New Archies Reviewed, as I was still unpacking.  Truth be told, my computer was still in a box when the September 4 entry was supposed to have been written.

But, it's September 11 now, my computer is back up and running, and I can continue with the New Archies Reviewed with what is one of my three favourite episodes of the series.



I bring you Episode 4B:  Jughead Predicts!



We begin our episode in the middle of an exciting soccer game - or, I guess I should say soccer practice as the Riverdale team is the only one on the field.  There's Archie and Reggie practicing their kicking.  Moose and Big Ethel are working on their moves.  And Jughead is...eating a sandwich in the middle of the field while Betty is sitting on the bleachers reading a horoscope magazine.

Okay, so this behaviour is nothing new for Jughead, but I'm quite surprised that Betty is behaving Jughead-like.  Maybe it's a side effect from Eugene's truth telling machine from last episode?



Anyway, Betty is asking Jughead what his sign is, and reveals that one sign (I want to say Capricorn, but I can't remember.  I'll have to go back and re-watch it when I have time) is a bad one.  Apparently those who have that sign are destined to get a head injury.

Wow...who wrote these horoscopes?  It certainly wasn't Eugenia Last.  I blame Veronica.



Well, apparently we can figure out when Jughead's approximate birthday is from this statement because a rogue soccer ball bounces off of Jughead's skull and renders him temporarily dazed and confused - which admittedly is not far from how Jughead acts on a daily basis, but let's just go with it.



The rest of the team is initially concerned that Jughead might have even more brain damage than they initially thought, but when Archie holds up a sandwich in front of Jughead, he recovers quickly.  I do hope the sandwich that Archie held up was a fresh one and not the same one that Jughead dropped when he got bopped on the noggin.  Sandwiches with dirt, grass clippings, and ants does not make a nutritious lunch.

To be sure that nothing is wrong with Jughead, the rest of the team want to take him to get checked out by the school nurse, but Jughead says he is fine, aside from a strange vision he had when he was temporarily out of it.  He can't explain it, but he had visions of Mr. Weatherbee floating on a raft that was being carried by a wave of water. 



At that same time, Mr. Weatherbee happens to be in the boiler room/basement of Riverdale Junior High School investigating a problem that is going on.  We aren't sure what the problem is, but given that Weatherbee is doing the examinations, I'm guessing that Mr. Svenson hasn't been hired yet.

Mr. Weatherbee hears something strange from behind one of the doors, and when he opens it up, he is swept away by a gigantic wave of water!  Ah, so I guess the school's water pressure was way low.



The force of the water is so great that it shoots Mr. Weatherbee out of a window and sends him splashing towards the soccer team on a discarded mattress that happened to have been in the basement/boiler room at the time.

Initially, the team offers no concern to Weatherbee and his wet business suit and cheer for his performance with Moose and Big Ethel giving him a 8.6...but then they think back to what Jughead's crazy dream was, and realize that he predicted what happened five minutes before it really happened.  But, no, it has to be a coincidence, right?



Well, in Grundy's classroom after soccer practice wraps up, Reggie seems to feel that Jughead's sudden ability to predict the future can help him out.  Reggie is extremely concerned about his grades because he has spent his free time playing pranks on Archie, chasing after Betty and Veronica, and spending his allowance at Pop Tate's playing Super Mario Brothers and Mr. Do.  But all Reggie gets for trying to get Jughead to spill his guts about his report card is a tongue lashing from Miss Grundy. 

You see, when one develops soccer ball induced ESP, one ironically enough cannot predict when one will have a prediction moment.  One has to wait for it. 

Amazingly, Jughead gets his dazed and confused look in the middle of class, and Miss Grundy does nothing to stop it!  Some teacher she is!  No wonder Reggie is afraid of her!



Anyway, the recipient of today's fortune is the ever so snobby Veronica Lodge, and Jughead makes the stunning prediction that Veronica will be the sweetest girl in the whole class the very next day.  Now, this is a prediction that I have a hard time with.  Betty, Amani, Big Ethel...hell, even Miss Grundy is sweeter than Veronica is.  On a good day.  But Veronica takes the prediction in stride and says that she will wear her best dress that day...because in order to be the sweetest girl in class, you have to look hot.  Veronica says so, and the word of Veronica Lodge is golden.  Or made of Fool's Gold.  You take your pick.

As luck would have it, the class is on another field trip - seriously, this is two trips in one season.  Do they ever learn anything in class?



This time, the class is at a candy making factory where they will learn how to make a bonbon.  Because learning how to dip things in chocolate sauce will come in handy when you're studying to be an accountant, fitness instructor, or President of the United States of America. 

Oh, and there's Veronica Lodge in her best dress shoving people out of the way and telling everyone to move, which causes Archie to roll his eyes and call out Jughead for his bogus prediction...



...right around the same time that Veronica's rudeness catches up with her and she sails right into the giant vat of chocolate dipping sauce.  Yes, Veronica has successfully demonstrated how to make the perfect 93-pound bonbon.



Doesn't she look so sweet in all that chocolate?  I guess Jughead's prediction came true after all, though not exactly how anybody would have thought.  Jughead himself even stated that in his prediction, Veronica looked like a chocolate Easter Bunny - and with that huge bow in her hair, it's an accurate description.



By now, Reggie is absolutely convinced that Jughead can see into the future, and attempts to bribe him with lunch at Pop's to get him to spill about his report card.  Silly Reggie...you just never learn.



And apparently Reggie isn't the only one who thinks that they can insert a quarter and get a prediction filled with nougat and caramel from the Jughead's prediction vending machine.  The whole gang swarms Reggie and Jughead's table to try and get predictions as well - well, all except Veronica who has only come to give Jughead the bill for dry cleaning her chocolate stained dress.  Um, Veronica.  You fell in a tub of chocolate that likely had to be thrown out because you contaminated it.  I would think you have more to worry about financially than Jughead does.  Just saying.



All this attention is causing Reggie to get angry because he wants the next prediction, and Jughead is about to tell them to go away when he has another prediction coming out of his head.  And after a couple of moments, Jughead points towards the front entrance of Pop Tate's making the fortune cookie worthy prediction "The bad news beast spoils the feast" which makes everybody go "HUH?!?"

Shortly after that, a paperboy randomly throws a newspaper into Pop's, and it must be the edition with all of the flyers and TV Guide listings because the paper is so heavy that it squashes Jughead's burger and fries combo into a pancake.  Another prediction successfully made by Jughead.



Apparently Jughead's gift of seeing the future has now made local news.  It's the top story in the Riverdale newspaper (probably Reggie gave them the idea, as his father works for the newspaper), and in it are pictures of Mr. Weatherbee on the wet mattress, and Veronica covered in chocolate which causes Veronica to storm off in a huff and Jughead to cry over his ruined lunch.  In fact, Jughead is so upset that he grabs his ruined food and walks out of Pop's in silence.



Archie quickly follows Jughead out the door, and Jughead admits that ever since he got the gift of seeing the future, he has been miserable.  All his fortunes cause someone to get some form of misfortune (although one could argue that Veronica got her just desserts), and he doesn't want to have the gift any more.  But since Riverdale doesn't have a Walmart, Archie is brainstorming with Jughead on how to get rid of his future telling abilities and Archie wonders how he got the ability in the first place.



Which leads to the example of Archie kicking dozens of soccer balls at Jughead's head to try and get rid of the gift as quickly as he got it.  Unfortunately, Archie sucks as a soccer player, and keeps missing Jughead.  Hey, here's an idea.  Tie Jughead to a chair and whack him over the head with a frying pan.  It would less painful for us to watch...but probably more painful for poor Jughead.



And Reggie, who has now developed a sick obsession with Jughead's future telling machine, arrives on his bike with an array of fabulous prizes that Jughead can win if the price is right if he will tell Reggie about his grades and what he can do to butter up Miss Grundy.  But with Jughead trying to get rid of his gift, he completely ignores Reggie who pitches a temper tantrum and throws a soccer ball in the air...



...which causes this AWESOME screenshot.

After Jughead gets smashed with the ball, he keeps repeating "tell me what you see, tell me what you see"...and Jughead tells Reggie what HE sees.



He sees Miss Grundy.



He sees a tango lesson going on in one of the classrooms.



He sees a great big frog.

And just like that, Reggie has the answers he is looking for and speeds away on his bike reciting "Grundy, Frog, Tango" as if he has been hypnotized by the world's worst hypnotist.  But hey, the soccer ball kick worked, as Jughead is back to normal and tells Archie that he simply told Reggie what he saw and that in no way did he predict the future. 

In short, Jughead pulls the ultimate prank on Reggie.  Keep watching.



We then come into the school auditorium where Miss Grundy has taken out her dentures to show the class how important it is to maintain oral hygiene.  Well, okay, those teeth are too big to be dentures.  But seriously, these are 12-13 year old students.  If they don't know how to defray decay by now, they're hopeless.  But seeing Miss Grundy with a life-sized toothbrush brushing a giant pair of chompers is great for a sight gag.



Of course, it's not as funny of a gag as a five foot tall frog approaching from stage right and suddenly grabbing the teacher to have a tango dance with her.  Seriously, Miss Grundy cannot believe her eyes as the frog twirls her around the floor, toothbrush in mouth, spinning her faster than the contestants on "Wheel of Fortune" spin the wheel.  The audience is hooting and hollering, and I have to admit, it is a hysterical scene.



Of course, Reggie is the one in the frog costume, and seeing how angry Miss Grundy is immediately bursts into tears, grabs onto her leg, and tells her that he's sorry, Jughead made him do it, and please not fail him for his absolute incompetence.  To which Grundy responds that Reggie's grades are fine and that he is in no danger of repeating seventh grade...but his actions during class will net him a punishment of clapping blackboard erasers together to clean them.

(Hey, it was the eighties.  It was a legitimate punishment back then.  That chalk dust makes you sneeze!)



So, we end the episode with Archie and Jughead skating down the street with a soccer ball in hand listening to music, and Jughead makes one joke of a prediction where he says that Veronica will be bitten by giant jaws, which causes both Archie and Jughead to laugh as Archie discards the soccer ball in a random building.



At the same time, Betty and Veronica are cleaning up in the auditorium after Reggie and Miss Grundy's tango dance, laughing at Reggie's misfortune when Betty - still obsessed over horoscopes - reads Veronica's, who happens to be a Scorpio.  The horoscope reads "Beware of getting bit on the foot", which causes Veronica to laugh, as it happens to be the same prediction that Jughead jokingly made.



At which point, the soccer ball that Archie threw bounces across the auditorium, knocks the giant dentures off the platform, and lands on Veronica's leg, which causes her to angrily scream Jughead's name.

It's too bad we don't really see any more Jughead predictions throughout the rest of the series, as we will never know if Jughead really did lose his gift, or whether the second soccer ball injury enhanced his gift.  But whatever the case, what a great episode!  I'll tell you why I loved it so much.  First, it had Jughead as the main star, and when he's actually given dialogue and plot, he makes it work very well.  Secondly, he gets to put one over on Veronica and Reggie, who up until now have been incredibly disgusting human beings.  In fact, it's after this episode that Veronica actually begins to grow into a more well-rounded human...though not by much.  Reggie's still a jerk though.

And hey...the tango scene made the episode.


Next week also happens to involve a plot that uses the future...in this case, we learn how life could turn out if some of our favourite characters got married!  In fact, here's a sneak preview clip of what to expect!


Wednesday, September 09, 2015

More Quality, Less Quantity

I have a fairly good memory.  In fact, some would say that it is abnormally good.  I remember things that happened to me 30 years ago, while some others can't remember what happened to them 30 seconds ago.  It's a blessing and a curse to have such a good memory.  A blessing because I remember all the good times, and a curse because I remember all the bad times.

And I also tend to remember the most random things that seem so insignificant, but had some impact.

For instance, I remember an incident when I was about 20, 21, and I was on some Internet forum.  A person had asked a question about a particular topic (I believe it was a question about what was more important in a relationship - trust or love), and I typed in a response as to what my thoughts were on the subject.  

(For the record, I believe you have to have both to make a successful relationship, but again, that's strictly my opinion.)

Anyway, after I typed out my response, I had some people agree with what I said, and some people who chose to see a different side.  But that's fine.  People can agree to disagree.

But then there was one person who rather than look at the comment, posted his own response directed at me which stated that reading my post made them fall asleep at their keyboard and that if I ever wanted to get his attention, I should post less and write less because I bored him to tears.

Now, obviously this was an Internet troll who probably had a lot of insecurities about himself so he chose to humiliate others they felt threatened by.  But, I have to say that while I don't agree with the way he called me out, I begrudgingly admit that he did make a good point.

Truth be told, while I had no choice but to disconnect from the Internet while I moved, I have to say it was really good to get away from the blog for a while.  I had spent four years updating the blog every day, feeling compelled to write an entry about pop culture and life every single day because I felt that if I missed a day, I would be considered lazy, or that I didn't care.

And you know, for the first couple of years, I really had no trouble with doing it.  But lately, I've been getting lazy with it, and I haven't been putting forth as much effort in the blog as I would ideally like.

So, that's why I have made the decision to cut back on postings from 7 days a week to 4.  If something happens that I need to take an extra day, so be it.  But I need to use this time to refresh my writing skills and take more time out for myself.

So, beginning now, the days in which I will post are Sundays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.  Sundays will be music themed, Tuesday Timelines will go on, and Fridays I will be doing my New Archies Reviewed series.  Wednesdays will be a topic of my choosing.

Thanks for understanding, guys.  I am not giving up on the PCA just yet...I just need to have a little breather.

Tuesday, September 08, 2015

September 8, 1981

Welcome to the first Tuesday Timeline entry in about a week and a half!

I do apologize to those of you who were expecting an entry on September 1.  I didn't get my Internet hooked back up until September 7 (I spent the period between August 28 and September 6 shopping for furniture and unpacking all of my belongings to put in the new place).  But I promise that I will make it up to you next year.  In fact, I've already written myself a reminder to do a September 1 Tuesday Timeline entry in 2016.  Not that I have a hard time remembering in general.  I just do it because I want to.

In the meantime, it is September 8, and for most people in my neck of the woods, it happens to be the first day back to school and college.  I do hope that all of you have a great first week back at classes, and I hope that all of you grade school students remembered your green crayons.  You will have a difficult time learning about photosynthesis without one.

So, it's been a while since I have been back on this blog, and I have to tell you, I am a bit rusty at this.  Therefore, I've chosen a topic that is an easy one to write about.  I guess you could call it a "where are they now" kind of post.

That's your only hint as we proceed with the general happenings of September 8 throughout history.

1504 - Michelangelo's "David" is unveiled to the public

1781 - The Battle of Eutaw Springs in South Carolina takes place during the American Revolutionary War

1888 - The body of Annie Chapman - the second victim of serial killer Jack the Ripper - is found

1892 - The Pledge of Allegiance is first recited

1900 - A devastating hurricane flattens the community of Galveston, Texas; 8,000 people lose their lives - one of the deadliest hurricanes to hit the United States

1921 - Margaret Gorman becomes the first person to win the title of Miss America

1922 - Actor/comedian Sid Caesar (d. 2014) is born in Yonkers, New York

1925 - Actor Peter Sellers (d. 1980) is born in England

1930 - Scotch tape is first marketed by 3M

1932 - Country singer Patsy Cline (d. 1963) is born in Gore, Virginia

1943 - President Eisenhower publicly announces the Allied armistice with Italy during World War II

1947 - Singer Benjamin Orr (d. 2000) is born in Lakewood, Ohio

1951 - The Treaty of San Francisco is signed

1952 - The Canadian Broadcasting Corporation (CBC) makes its first television broadcast

1966 - Star Trek premieres on NBC

1975 - Leonard Matlovich, an American Air Force Tech Sergeant, appears on the cover of TIME Magazine in full uniform, officially coming out as a homosexual

1988 - Due to forest fires that were out of control, Yellowstone National Park is closed to the public for the very first time

1991 - Actor Brad Davis dies of a drug overdose, aged 41

2003 - 15/Love co-stars Jaclyn Linetsky and Vadim Schneider are killed in a motor vehicle accident in Quebec, Canada - both were just 17 years old

And for celebrity birthdays today, we have the following people turning one year older; Jacqueline Ceballos, Bernie Sanders, Mark Lindsay Chapman, Anne Diamond, Heather Thomas, Carmen Campagne, Aimee Mann, David Steele, Thomas Kretschmann, Brad Silberling, Darlene Zschech, Kimberly Peirce, David Arquette, Brooke Burke-Charvet, Martin Freeman, Khalid Goncalves, Lisa Kennedy Montgomery, Gabrial McNair, Troy Sanders, Larenz Tate, Nate Corddry, Alecia "P!nk" Moore, Austin "Chumlee" Russell, Chantal Jones, and Ella Rae Peck.

Okay, so what date are we going to go back in time to today?



Well, how about we go back to the early 1980s?  September 8, 1981, to be exact.

Now, as I mentioned before in this post, today's subject is one of those "Where Are They Now" type stories.  September 8, 1981 happens to be the birthdate of today's Tuesday Timeline spotlight, making him 34 years old today.  And what makes this person so interesting is that he made it big when he was barely ten years old, and left the industry at the peak of his popularity.  He's made very few appearances since, leaving some to wonder what happened to him.  Some believe that he was disenchanted with the industry and yearned for a normal life.  Some believe that he got hooked up on drugs.  There was even that nasty little death rumour that all celebrities that have not been heard from in some time have experienced.



I figure that I would set the record straight by doing some research into his life before, during, and after success to find out the real truth behind what really happened to Jonathan Taylor Thomas.

And to begin this story, we'll start with the moment in which he became a huge star.

It was September 17, 1991 - nine days after Thomas turned ten.  A brand new show was set to air on ABC's Tuesday Night comedy block, a series of programming that also included ratings winners "Roseanne" and "Full House".  It was a show that starred comedian Tim Allen as the bumbling host of a home improvement show called "Tool Time", and how he balanced his work life with his home life, where he was husband to Jill, and father to three boys between the ages of six and ten.



The show was "Home Improvement", and it was one of ABC's most successful programs, ranking within the Top 10 during its entire eight season run.

And while Tim Allen and Patricia Richardson were the leads of the program, it can be argued that the breakout star of the show was Jonathan Taylor Thomas, who played middle son, Randy.  Mind you, the other two Taylor kids played by Taran Noah Smith and Zachary Ty Bryan were quite good as well, but it was Jonathan who was on the cover of teen magazines.  It was Jonathan who was plastered all over the bedroom walls of teenage girls.  It was Jonathan who ended up with choice movie and film roles, all before the age of sixteen.

Not bad for a kid who was born Jonathan Weiss in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania who got his start on a really bad Brady Bunch spinoff in 1990.



Certainly, "Home Improvement" was a definite step up from being a Brady child's child.  But that wasn't the only place where he shone.  In 1994, Thomas won the coveted role of young Simba in the film "The Lion King", which is still considered one of the best Disney films ever made.  And his work with Disney continued throughout the 1990s, with Thomas appearing in such films as "I'll Be Home For Christmas", "Tom and Huck", and "Wild America". 

It almost seemed like it was destined that Thomas would become Hollywood's next golden boy, with dreams of a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, an Oscar nomination, and the chance to become People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive.

Which is why many people were shocked when at the age of 17, Thomas made the decision to walk away from show business.

He made the decision shortly after "Home Improvement" ended filming on its seventh season and had been renewed for an eighth.  While Thomas still had good feelings about the show, and had no ill-will towards any of his castmates or people that he worked with, he felt as though he needed to do something more than act.  He wanted to focus more on his studies and graduate from high school with the possibility of going to college to further expand his opportunities.

And, you know...I say bravo to him.  It takes a lot of maturity to weigh the pros and cons of everything before making the choice that he felt was right for him.  And ultimately, he ended up getting what he wanted.  In 2000, he graduated from high school, and ten years later earned a degree from the Columbia University School of General Studies - after taking a turn at Harvard University.  I'd say he did well academically, wouldn't you?

And, so the eighth and final season of the show aired during the 1998/1999 season, and while Thomas did make appearances in a couple of episodes, the show ended its run on May 25, 1999 - without Thomas participating.  Although, Thomas was working on a film during that shoot, so I suppose he had a good reason.

So, it's been sixteen years since "Home Improvement" ended.  What happened to Jonathan Taylor Thomas?

Well, I can tell you that he isn't dead.  I can also tell you that unlike some child stars, Thomas has never really been in trouble with the law, or has been addicted to drugs, or anything like that.  In fact, you could say that he turned out quite...normal!

And while his acting jobs have slowed down, he hasn't completely given up on it.  While he mostly limits himself to voice roles now, Thomas did make a few appearances in Tim Allen's most recent sitcom, "Last Man Standing", now currently in its fifth season.

Just goes to show you that the influence of Hollywood doesn't wreck everybody.  If only Taran Noah Smith learned that lesson...



Happy birthday, Jonathan Taylor Thomas! 

Monday, September 07, 2015

Didya Miss Me?

Hey, everybody!  I'm baaaaaaaaack!


Well, at least for now, anyway.

I am all moved in, and I just got my Internet back up and running, so I will be back to posting on this blog again.


The catch is...I've decided that it will no longer be 7 days a week.  I'm cutting back to at least 3 a week, but possibly four.  And, I will explain my reasons for that in another blog post.

Right now though, I want to thank everybody who helped me move into my new place.  Believe me, I could not have done any of this without any of your help.  Much thanks.

And, yes...I will provide some photos of before and after shots of the house for you to look at.  Believe me, we all did a lot of work.

For now, I'm back.  And I have a lot of catching up to do!  Later!

Friday, August 28, 2015

New Archies Reviewed: Episode 4A - The Awful Truth

Well, here it is, everyone!  My final blog post for a little while at least.  This weekend is the weekend in which I am unplugging everything in preparation for the big move.  I'm not sure when I will be back up and running, but I am sure that it won't be long.  And when I do come back, I will be announcing a couple of changes to this blog...changes that I hope will affect the quality of the blog, but will inevitably change the quantity.  More on that when I get back.

In the meantime, we have another episode of The New Archies to review.  Let's get to it, shall we?



In this episode (Episode 4A - The Awful Truth). we're going to learn just how the truth can sting just a little too much.  In the case of this episode, Eugene just may as well have shoved scorpions down everybody's pants.



We open the episode at Riverdale Junior High, where every girl in school is crowding around a bulletin board.  But why?  Is there a school club for girls?  Is there a special offer that is first come, first serve?

Well, overhearing the conversation between Betty, Veronica, and Amani, we quickly learn that the Junior Miss Riverdale Pageant is coming to Riverdale Junior High, and apparently every girl in school tried out for it.



Well, all except Amani who doesn't believe in beauty contests.  Um, so why are you there Amani?  I'm guessing to give moral support to Betty and Veronica.

Oh, that's right.  Veronica's a self-absorbed twit who thinks that she is hot stuff and that no amount of hair spray would ever many anyone more beautiful than her.  So, basically Amani is there for Betty because Betty isn't a jerk.  At least, not yet.



Hey...where did that music come from?  I hope it's not foreshadowing.

Anyway, Betty just wants to see if she's a finalist in the competition, and Amani comes up with the idea to announce that Michael J. Fox happens to be in the school!  On one hand, kudos to the showrunners for coming up with a then-recent reference to pop culture.  On the other hand, by 1987, Fox had become a star with "Family Ties" and "Back To The Future".  Does Amani really think that she can trick a bunch of junior high aged girls to leaving the bulletin board alone by claiming that a celebrity would come and visit their podunk hamlet?



Apparently so.  Wow, either Amani is some super genius...or the girls of Riverdale are as dumb as posts. 



At any rate, there's a party going on at Lodge Mansion in celebration of Veronica making it into the semi-finalist round, and judging by Betty's reaction, she must have made it in as well.  Again, Amani didn't try out at all.  Why is she so excited?  Then again, Amani could just be offering her support to Betty, since Veronica is a deplorable human being.

Betty, Veronica, and Amani are so happy and excited that they fail to realize that they are holding up the guys, and Archie, showing that he apparently has the strength of a hundred men literally drags all three girls into the limousine that is taking them to Veronica's house for a pool party!  Wow, if this party is celebrating Veronica being a semi-finalist, I can't wait to see what wingding they plan on having if she won!



So, if you ever wanted to know what pool parties in the 1980s were like, well, they featured girls in ugly swimsuits, a personal chef grilling hot dogs, and what appears to be "A Flock Of Seagulls" or "Honeymoon Suite" playing for them.  Wow, Veronica threw wild parties even at age 12!



Ah, and here comes Eugene with some sort of...invention.  At first glance, it kind of looks like someone combined a football with that vacuum cleaner from that Teletubbies show.  And, of course, Eugene believes that it is going to be an invention that will win him the Inventor of the Year award.



But all it seems to do is make a whole lot of noise, which causes Reggie to screw up his dive...



...and Jughead spraying mustard all over his eyes.

While Veronica walks over to yell at Eugene for interrupting her party, Amani and Betty are discussing the pageant, in which Betty admits that she is nervous about the question portion of the event.  After all, a beauty contest finalist can only wish for world peace for so many times before people start to get bored.  Interestingly enough, Eugene - who has gotten away from Veronica - pops his head up through the bushes and asks Betty if she wants to be his guinea pig for his project.  Betty says yes...but I don't think she quite understood what she was saying yes to.



Whatever the case, Eugene turns on the machine and it blows a cloud of smoke into Betty's face, and Betty goes from being sugar and spice and everything nice to shrieking harpy bitch in six seconds.

Seriously, Eugene's invention happens to be a truth telling machine that is more intense than police polygraph tests.  It makes the person who was sprayed with it tell nothing but the truth...no matter how hurtful it may be.



And let's just say that Betty Cooper must have had a lot of deep rooted rage in her heart because she holds nothing back.  Veronica almost gets ready to slap Betty after Betty calls her an egotistical snob.  She makes Reggie fall into the pool again after she calls his diving lame.  And Betty thinks that Archie's bathing suit is so tacky that Archie actually falls over in his beach chair.



Ah, but crafty Eugene doesn't want to know what Betty will tell him, so before she bares her fangs and spews venom over him, he blasts her with another shot of serum which causes Betty to stop being so honest and remorseful for her actions.



Oh, but wait.  Veronica's getting a really nasty idea.  See, look.  You can view it in her little thought bubble.  Since the truth telling machine will cause Betty to only tell the truth, she can use it to make Betty and the other contestants insult the judges so that Veronica will win by default.

In other words, she has really learned nothing.

Ah, but Eugene simply isn't going to let Veronica borrow the truth telling invention the way that one would rent the VHS copy of "Dirty Dancing" from Blockbuster Video.  So, Veronica decides that she'll get it...later.



Later just happens to be in the middle of the night outside of Eugene's house.  And surprise, surprise, she's dragged her partner in crime Reggie with her.  Seriously, can these two be made any more unlikable?

But hey, at least we get a chance to see what Eugene's room looks like.  It kind of reminds me of Screech's room from "Saved By The Bell" with all the electronic gadgets and gizmos.  I half expect Kevin the Robot to make an appearance.

Anyway, Veronica decides that if Eugene won't lend her the truth machine...she'll just break into his house and steal it.  Wow, resorting to breaking and entering to win a beauty contest.  Isn't that the American way?



Unfortunately, Veronica nearly foils her own plot when she steps on a horn and thinks that she's screwed.  But Eugene is too busy dreaming about Amani in a bikini to wake up.



The next day at school, Betty is prepared to open up her locker to grab homework, her lunch, or the 378 photos of Archie that she has plastered everywhere when she gets a shock!

Veronica and Reggie have hidden in Betty's locker with Eugene's truth telling machine and give Betty another dose of truth serum, reverting her back to her bitchy ways and...



...wait a minute.  Reggie, Veronica, and the truth machine all fit inside of Betty's locker?  Just how big are the lockers at Riverdale Junior High?  My high school lockers were never that big - and I had one of the largest lockers in the whole school my senior year!  I'm jealous!



Oh, yeah.  Back to the plot.  Betty insults Mr. Weatherbee's weight and likely ends up getting detention.  She also insults Miss Grundy and she will likely have to copy out Amani's favourite section of the encyclopedia from "I Gotta Be Me, Or Is It You".  She also tells a random student that she didn't invite her to her party because she hates her guts...but since it's not Amani, Veronica, or Big Ethel, we're not supposed to care.

Well, after insulting everyone in the hallways of Riverdale Junior High, she decides to pay Archie a visit in the art room, where he has painted a portrait of Jughead.  And, Betty, being influenced by truth juice tells Archie that he has made Jughead look like a fat pig and that his apple looks like it is rotten.



And Betty must be telling the truth because Jughead comes to life in the painting and tells Archie the same thing that Betty said - which would imply that Archie has major issues, but nevertheless Archie has a sneaking suspicion that Eugene has used his truth-telling machine on Betty and rushes out to find him before Betty insults the President of the United States and starts World War III.

(Or, at least before the beauty contest begins.)



But when Archie finally finds Eugene in another classroom, Eugene is near tears.  Eugene tells Archie that someone stole his machine, and that he should have just listened to Veronica when she asked to borrow it.  At which point, Archie realizes Veronica's dirty scheme and decides to confront her about it.



Naturally, Veronica denies having any involvement in Betty becoming Miss Honesty 1987 and denies even having Eugene's truth-telling machine - at least until Betty comes around and tells Veronica that her hair looks like a troll doll.  Okay, so the real word she used was frizzy, but same difference, right?

The good news is that Archie sets out to go on a mission to retrieve the truth-telling machine, spray Betty back to normal with it, and make Veronica eat her words.

The bad news?  He's recruited Jughead to be his partner in crime.

After looking through the whole school for any evidence, Jughead and Archie are ready to give up on the whole thing, but Archie has a brilliant idea.  He suspects that Veronica would hide it in a spot in which Archie and Jughead would never set foot in.

That's right.  The machine is in the girls' gym.



And let me tell you.  Jughead and Archie could learn some lessons from RuPaul in how to dress up in drag.  Flour bags, potted plants, and mops are not exactly accessories that the modern woman would ever wear.



But it looks like Archie's found the machine hidden in Veronica's locker.  Look!  It has her name written on it!  And it's four times the size of all the other lockers!  My god, does she think she can have everything she wants when she wants it?  I bet the water fountain next to her homeroom provides Perrier, and she probably gets Miss Beazley to give her caviar for lunch! 

At the same time, Betty is about to approach the stage, getting ready to insult everybody that she comes in contact with while Veronica is sitting on the sidelines, cackling like a hyena knowing that Betty is about to become less classy than Mama June and Honey Boo Boo! 

But alas, Veronica's plans are spoiled, and Archie and Jughead manage to turn on the machine, zap Betty back to normal, and she becomes her usual, charming self - with a lot of repressed anger, but I digress.

At that point, Jughead puts on his Walkman to listen to music as Eugene has a heart-warming reunion with his truth-telling machine.



But the reunion does not last long, as Jughead accidentally knocks the machine out of Eugene's hands, and it bounces across the auditorium floor.  I mean it, it literally bounces like one of those rubber balls that you would see in those lottery draws.

And every time it bounces, it sprays truth serum all over random people.



First, Archie gets sprayed, which causes Archie to admit what all of us knew already.  Eugene's inventions suck.



Jughead gets sprayed next, and makes fun of Archie's hair, which causes Archie to make fun of Jughead's name.



The MC of the pageant is next, and he introduces Veronica Lodge as the biggest spoiled brat he has ever seen.  Totally awesome.



Oh, Veronica gets a blast of karmic retribution when she ends up sprayed, and insults the MC's hair.

Eugene finally gets the device to stop...but there is nothing he can do to stop the insanity as the truth serum is all used up.  So, he is forced to watch with horror as the Junior Miss Riverdale Pageant ends up being one gigantic mosh pit of hurt feelings and anger.



Then again, isn't that how most pageants end?

Okay, so at this point, I must bid a brief farewell for now.  This will be the first time I will be taking a break, and it is absolutely necessary because I have to finish up the last touches on the hacienda.  But I will be back at some point.  Take care, my friends.




Oh, and happy golden jubilee to my Mom and Dad!  50 years together.  If only all marriages could last as long or longer.