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Thursday, November 12, 2015

The Sesame Street Quiz - Answers!



Okay, so around 48 hours ago, I inserted a special quiz into the blog in my Tuesday Timeline entry for November 10, 1969.  If you want, you can click HERE to revisit it...or just scroll down two entries.  It's up to you, really.

Anyway, the topic of the day was "Sesame Street", and on November 10, "Sesame Street" celebrated its 46th birthday.  And to commemorate the event, I created a 24-question quiz on "Sesame Street" along with a bonus question. 

Today, I thought I'd reveal the answers to those questions.  Besides, consider this an extra bonus entry for you chock filled with trivia about one of the most beloved educational programs ever!

1.  We all know what Oscar The Grouch looks like now...but when he first appeared on the show in 1969, what was different about him?



Well, apparently Oscar was once ORANGE!!!  I guess living in a trash can for all those years made his fur turn green!  Actually, I think the colour change was necessary because the lighting on the Sesame Street sets made Oscar's fur a little too bright.

INteresting fact:  Grover, the little blue monster was once green!

2.  Elmo is arguably one of the modern faces of "Sesame Street", but he actually went by a different name when he first debuted.  What was it?

Well, Elmo was once known as "Little Monster" when he was a non-talking character in the 1970s.  It wasn't until Kevin Clash joined the cast of the show in 1984 that Elmo got his voice...as well as his name!

3.  These pinball machine counting classics are always fun to watch.  And a singing group who had hits in the 1980s sang the pinball song.  Who is this group?



That would be Ruth, June, and Anita Pointer...otherwise known as "The Pointer Sisters", who had hits with "Fire", "I'm So Excited", and "Neutron Dance", among others.

4.  In 1983, a beloved character passed away, leaving the humans of "Sesame Street" to explain to Big Bird what death was.  Who was the character that died?



That would be Mr. Hooper, owner of Hooper's Store.  Actor Will Lee, who played the role, died in 1982.  The tribute episode aired in November 1983.

5.  Who does the voice of both BIg Bird and Oscar the Grouch?

That would be Carroll Spinney.

6.  Name the gigantic orange and white dog that would often pop up on "Sesame Street" in the earlier years.



That would be the character that I absolutely loved seeing on "Sesame Street" the most other than Cookie Monster!  The dog's name?  Barkley!

7.  Which "24" actor once appeared on "Sesame Street" as a child?



Kim Raver, who played Audrey Raines on the show "24" was on "Sesame Street" between 1975 and 1978.

8.  Who was the name of the Muppet character who hosted random game shows on "Sesame Street"?



The guy is named Guy Smiley.  And if you answered this question correctly...you get NOTHING!  YAY!

9.  What natural disaster struck Sesame Street in 2012?

A hurricane.  It was to help kids who lived in the East Coast understand how to prepare for a natural disaster, as Superstorm Sandy was approaching around the time the episode aired.  Interestingly enough, another hurricane struck the street about 20 years earlier.

10.  What is the name of Bert's favourite pigeon?

Bert has MANY pigeons.  But his favourite one is named Bernice.

11.  What magic words does the Amazing Mumford say before casting a magic spell?



A LA PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICHES!!!

12.  Linda the Librarian had an interesting characteristic.  What was it?



Linda Bove, who played Linda, was deaf, and communicated only through American Sign Language.  Linda hasn't been seen on the show in years, but she taught many kids how to sign various things over the years.

13.  For years, nobody believed Big Bird when he said that he had a friend named Mr. Snuffleupagus.  What year did "Snuffy" finally reveal himself?  Hint:  It was during the 1980s, and I'm old enough to remember it.



For at least a dozen years, Snuffy kept himself hidden.  In fact, it wasn't until 1985 that the rest of the street got to meet him.  He wasn't a scary monster at all.  He was and remains very sweet!

14.  Which folk singer appeared as a regular cast member of "Sesame Street"?



Buffy Sainte-Marie appeared on the show from 1976-1981.  Her son also appeared on the show with her, and in one episode, Buffy breast-fed him on the air!  Of course, everything was covered!

15.  The birth of Maria and Luis' daughter, Gabriela also marked the final appearance of a long running human character.  Which one?



The birth of Gabriela marked the departure of David, who had been on the show since 1971.  In real life, the actor who played David - Northern Calloway - was in ill health, and he passed away shortly after that episode was taped, in January 1990.

16.  How many actors played the role of "Gordon" on "Sesame Street"?

Three.  Matt Robinson, Hal Miller, and Roscoe Orman.  Orman has served as Gordon the longest, joining the cast in 1974.

17.  Who is the Longest Serving Human character of "Sesame Street"?



Bob McGrath has been on "Sesame Street" since its 1969 debut!

18.  What are the names of the bugs that live in Ernie and Bert's flower bed?



The Twiddlebugs!!!

19.  During the 1980s, Luis had an alter ego that made the most out of "nothing".  Can you tell me what his alter ego name was?

He played Senor Zero.  It was a spoof of Zorro, only instead of the letter Z, he wrote the Number Zero.

20.  What was the name of the singing cowboy that had a worse memory than dory from "Finding Nemo"?



That would be Forgetful Jones.

21.  Which "evening Shade" actor played Mr. Noodle in the "Elmo's World" segments?

Michael Jeter played Mr. Noodle from 2000 until his death in 2003.

22.  What is the address number of the apartment building where many of the residents of "Sesame Street" call home?

They live on 123 Sesame Street.  Notable residents include Gordon and Susan, Bert and Ernie, and Bob.

23.  Which character's favourite shape is the triangle?



The Triangle Lover of Sesame Street is Telly Monster!

24.  Which character's name sounded like a United States President...only reversed?



That would be Roosevelt Franklin...who disappeared from the show sometime around 1980.

BONUS QUESTION:

"Sesame Street" debuted on November 10.  But one human cast member happens to have a November 10 birthday.  Who was/is this person, and what role did/do they play?



This is a tricky one without Google, but the answer is this.  Actress Alaina Reed was born on November 10, 1946.  When she joined the cast of "Sesame Street" in 1976, she played the role of "Olivia", the little sister of Gordon.  She stayed on as Olivia until 1988, when she left the show permanently to act on the sitcom "227".  In 2009, there was talk of bringing Olivia back to the show, but sadly Alaina Reed passed away in December of that year at the age of 63 of breast cancer.

So, how did you do?

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

More Important Than The Colour Of A Coffee Cup

November 11, 2015

When I was in elementary school, one of the things that we learned in English class was how to do a "hamburger paragraph".  It's a simple paragraph that has you stating a fact at the beginning, then using a few sentences in the middle to explain your point in detail, and then finishing off the paragraph with a restating of your first point.  It was a great way to get started on basic writing, and I often use the "hamburger paragraph" structure in my own writing style.

So, in today's post, I thought I'd try doing it the "hamburger" way, with using a paragraph to open my post for today, using examples that are sort of related to another hot topic in the middle, and somehow finding a way to steer the post back to its original intent. 

So, here goes.



Today is Remembrance Day - or Armistice Day if you're in the UK - or Veterans Day if you're American.  It is a day that has been in observance for nearly one hundred years.  Every year since the first World War ended on this date at the eleven o'clock hour, we give pause and thanks to those brave men and women who fought to keep our nations free, even if it meant sacrificing themselves in the process.

I know that I will be wearing my poppy pin with pride today, and I am ever so grateful to those who risked it all just so our children and grandchildren could have a tomorrow to experience.

I want to give pause to all of our veterans, both living and deceased with this brief video clip.



You know, one of the great things about living in a free nation is the ability to express ourselves in a variety of ways.  I choose to express myself through writing.  Some choose to use art.  Some use the power of music.  And sometimes just talking is enough.

But sometimes when it comes to free speech, you may hear some things that you may not like, or you may see something that you'd rather not see, or take offense at behaviour that you would not partake in.  I'll admit that I've been in situations where I haven't liked how people act.  And I know that on the flipside, I've probably turned a few people off myself.  But whether I like a person's opinion or view or not, I do admit that everyone has a right to their own view, and they do have a right to express themselves, just as I have the right to either reject their stance, or call them out on it.

That's what you get with freedom.  It can be a double-edged sword at times, but aren't you glad that you live in a nation where you DO have the right to disagree with someone without getting punished for it?  Not everyone in the world is that fortunate.

In some places, looking at someone the wrong way could get you executed.  Not pledging allegiance to a specific leader could get you sent to prison or worse.  I consider myself lucky that I'm not in a place like that. 



I guess that's why I shake my head at the recent Starbucks coffee cup controversy that is currently going on right now, because to me there is just so much more in the world that we should be worried about than the colour of a cup that will end up in a garbage dump anyway.

So Starbucks has decided to go with a solid crimson red cup for the holiday season this year.  I'll admit that the design might seem a little plain compared to previous years, but sometimes simplicity is the better way.  I mean, there's nothing wrong with the cup itself.  I kind of like it.

But you know who doesn't like it?  A lot of people who seem to believe that the cup design is a blatant attack on people who celebrate Christmas and that Starbucks is anti-Christian because of it.

I disagree.  I strongly disagree.  In fact, I don't think I could disagree more.



I don't understand why people seem to feel that the cup is anti-Christian because the cup doesn't have a snowflake, Santa Claus, a sleigh, or reindeer on it.  As Ellen DeGeneres pointed out on her November 10, 2015 episode, none of those things appear in the Bible.  And I don't know if people would enjoy their peppermint candy cane cappuccinos if they were staring at Jesus being nailed to a cross on their coffee cup.

(Or maybe they would...I don't know.  I don't even like coffee, so it's a moot point.)

I mean, there are so many things that one should be outraged about.  Be outraged over the fact that many families are going to be hungry this holiday season because there isn't enough money in the household.  Be outraged that some children won't be opening up any presents underneath their Christmas trees...if they are even lucky enough to have those.  Be outraged that a coffee chain can justify charging six bucks for a cup of coffee!  But being outraged over the colour of a cup? 

Please don't tell me that our veterans laid down their lives in combat so that we could have the freedom to squabble over petty things like coffee cups.  I don't think that was the whole intent of fighting for freedom.

Yes, we have the right to express ourselves.  Some people think the cups are anti-Christmas, and they are entitled to their opinion even though I completely disagree.  I think the cups are fine, even though some may not be on my side.  But that's fine.  I consider myself agnostic anyway.  I don't see why the religion card even has to be played in this case anyway.

Because the way I see it, the solid crimson cup can symbolize a number of different things.  Crimson red is a colour that most people associate with Christmas, and I think that the cup really symbolizes what Christmas or Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa should be all about.  Nice, warm, cozy, and simplistic.  That's how all of our holidays should be.

If Starbucks has enough cups left over after the holiday season is over, they could feasibly use them for Valentine's Day.  After all, the cups are red.  You certainly can't argue with the fact that it would be cost-efficient - especially during a time in which most businesses are trying to find ways to save money.

And the crimson red cup also symbolizes a day that sadly is often overlooked due to the commercialism of the holiday season.  A day that many of us are observing today.

I guess to conclude this blog post, I say this.  Don't be offended by the colour of a coffee cup.  Be grateful that you have the freedom to purchase coffee in the first place. 



Remember.  People laid their lives on the line so that we can continue to enjoy the freedom that so many of us take for granted.

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

November 10, 1969

Happy Tuesday, November 10 to all of you!  Yes, it's Tuesday Timeline time once again, and this time around I have a topic that most of you are familiar with.

In fact, once I realized that a certain television program was celebrating an anniversary today, I knew EXACTLY what topic I wanted to talk about! 

Yes, sometimes it comes that naturally.

Before we get into that discussion though, let's see what else was happening from a historical perspective.

1619 - Rene Descartes is inspired to write his "Meditations on First Philosophy" after a series of dreams

1775 - The United States Marine Corps is founded

1821 - Rufina Alfaro's "Cry of Independence" sets forth the revolt that causes Panama to declare independence from Spain

1871 - Henry Morton Stanley locates the missing explorer Dr. David Livingstone, where he greets him with the phrase, "Dr. Livingstone, I presume?"

1898 - The Wilmington Insurrection of 1898 begins

1918 - The Western Union Cable Office in North Sydney, Nova Scotia receives a coded top-secret message declaring that the first World War would come to an end the following day - November 11

1925 - Actor Richard Burton (d. 1984) is born in Wales

1932 - Actor Roy Scheider (d. 2008) is born in Orange, New Jersey

1940 - A powerful earthquake strikes Romania, which kills at least one thousand people

1942 - Germany invades Vichy France following Francois Darlan's agreement to an armistice with North African Allies

1951 - Direct dial-to-dial coast-to-coast telephone service begins in the United States

1954 - President Eisenhower dedicates the USMC War Memorial in Arlington National Cemetery

1958 - The Hope Diamond is donated to the Smithsonian Institution by Harry Winston

1975 - The Edmund Fitzgerald sinks during a storm on Lake Superior, killing all crew members on board

1977 - Actress Brittany Murphy (d. 2009) is born in Atlanta, Georgia

1979 - One of the largest evacuations in Canadian history takes place when a Canadian Pacific freight train carrying dangerous chemicals derails near Mississauga, Ontario

1983 - Bill Gates introduces Windows 1.0

1989 - German citizens begin to tear down the Berlin Wall

2006 - The National Museum of the Marine Corps is opened and dedicated by President George W. Bush - on the same day that Corporal Jason Dunham was awarded the Medal of Honor on what would have been his 25th birthday

Wow...that was a lot of history, wasn't it?  November 10 was a busy day!

And it also seems to be a popular day for celebrity birthdays as well, with Paul Bley, Albert Hall, Tim Rice, Terence Davies, Donna Fargo, Greg Lake, Dave Loggins, Jack Scalia, Roland Emmerich, Sinbad, Brooks Williams, Mackenzie Phillips, Daniel Waters, Hugh Bonneville, Tommy Davidson, Sean Hughes, Vanessa Angel, Michael Jai White, Tracy Morgan, Tom Papa, Ellen Pompeo, Warren G, Eve, Diplo, David Paetkau, Chris Joannou, Heather Matarazzo, Miranda Lambert, Britt Irvin, Josh Peck, Jessica Tovey, Genevieve Buechner, Zoey Deutch, Kiernan Shipka, and Mackenzie Foy turning one year older today!  Happy birthday, everyone!

So, where are we going back in time to this week?



How about the tail end of the 1960's?  Like, maybe November 10, 1969?

Yeah, that was the year that a particular television show debuted on the television station that would soon come to be known as PBS.  So, right off the bat, we know that the show is an educational one.

It was a show that was created by Joan Ganz Cooney and Lloyd Morrisett, and featured a variety of live-action and animated sketches designed to help children learn their alphabet, how to count to twenty, and how to do other things that will help children get ready for school and social activity. 

It is estimated that 95% of American preschoolers had watched at least one episode of this show by the time they celebrated their third birthday, and the show itself has won a record-breaking 159 Emmy Awards and 8 Grammy Awards!

And if you take all the episodes of this program and put them together, you would have 4,378 episodes!  That's 4,378 days of sunny days sweeping the clouds away.



But can anyone tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street?

Seriously, "Sesame Street" was probably my favourite show when I was between the ages of two and six, and I always wanted to know how to get there so I could have fun.  Everyone on "Sesame Street" seemed so happy and carefree and I wanted to hug Big Bird, and visit Luis and Maria at the Fix-It-Shop, and have a snack at Mr. Hooper's Store with Grover and Cookie Monster! 



It seems hard to believe that the show is 46 years old today!  Can you imagine the number of people who grew up watching this show?  I'm sure everyone who watched it as a kid can say that Bert, Ernie, and Kermit the Frog were their best friends...or if you're a lot younger, maybe Elmo, Rosita, and Baby Bear, perhaps?

Anyway, I thought to celebrate the 46th anniversary of "Sesame Street", I'd give you guys a little bit of a quiz, just to see how much you KNOW about the show!  I'll reveal the answers to the quiz on the November 12th entry. 

I wish I had a prize for you like the Sesame Street Treasury, or the complete works of Jim Henson on DVD or even a Tickle-Me Elmo doll...but I just bought a house.  I'm broke.  This quiz is merely for fun.

But we like fun, don't we?

Okay, the quiz will consist of 24 questions, plus a bonus question which I think may be hard to find the answer to without Googling it.

(Did you ever think we'd live in a word where "Google" became a verb?)

Remember, these questions are just for fun.  And you may learn a lot about "Sesame Street" in the process.  Feel free to answer them here, or on the Facebook page.  You can even tweet your answers to me @PCA_GuideToLife!




1.  We all know what Oscar The Grouch looks like now...but when he first appeared on the show in 1969, what was different about him?




2.  Elmo is arguably one of the modern faces of "Sesame Street", but he actually went by a different name when he first debuted.  What was it?



3.  These pinball machine counting classics are always fun to watch.  And a singing group who had hits in the 1980s sang the pinball song.  Who is this group?

4.  In 1983, a beloved character passed away, leaving the humans of "Sesame Street" to explain to Big Bird what death was.  Who was the character that died?

5.  Who does the voice of both BIg Bird and Oscar the Grouch?

6.  Name the gigantic orange and white dog that would often pop up on "Sesame Street" in the earlier years.

7.  Which "24" actor once appeared on "Sesame Street" as a child?

8.  Who was the name of the Muppet character who hosted random game shows on "Sesame Street"?

9.  What natural disaster struck Sesame Street in 2012?

10.  What is the name of Bert's favourite pigeon?



11.  What magic words does the Amazing Mumford say before casting a magic spell?



12.  Linda the Librarian had an interesting characteristic.  What was it?



13.  For years, nobody believed Big Bird when he said that he had a friend named Mr. Snuffleupagus.  What year did "Snuffy" finally reveal himself?  Hint:  It was during the 1980s, and I'm old enough to remember it.

14.  Which folk singer appeared as a regular cast member of "Sesame Street"?

15.  The birth of Maria and Luis' daughter, Gabriela also marked the final appearance of a long running human character.  Which one?

16.  How many actors played the role of "Gordon" on "Sesame Street"?

17.  Who is the Longest Serving Human character of "Sesame Street"?

18.  What are the names of the bugs that live in Ernie and Bert's flower bed?

19.  During the 1980s, Luis had an alter ego that made the most out of "nothing".  Can you tell me what his alter ego name was?

20.  What was the name of the singing cowboy that had a worse memory than dory from "Finding Nemo"?

21.  Which "evening Shade" actor played Mr. Noodle in the "Elmo's World" segments?

22.  What is the address number of the apartment building where many of the residents of "Sesame Street" call home?

23.  Which character's favourite shape is the triangle?

24.  Which character's name sounded like a United States President...only reversed?

BONUS QUESTION:

"Sesame Street" debuted on November 10.  But one human cast member happens to have a November 10 birthday.  Who was/is this person, and what role did/do they play?

Saturday, November 07, 2015

Take Back November!

November 7, 2015



So, who here is starting to get sick of Christmas already? 

I'm not quite there.  Yet.  But, believe me, I'm sure that sometime around Black Friday, I'll have a full-fledged Christmas induced meltdown where I grab a giant inflatable Olaf doll from frozen and use it to physically destroy Santa's Village display at the local shopping plaza.

(Well, okay.  I wouldn't go THAT far.)

But I'm just going to come right out and say it.  It seems to me that corporate America and retailers in general are rushing the season.  And when I say rushing the season, I mean that when the clock strikes midnight on November 1, they take all the jack-o-lanterns, skeletons, cauldrons, and fake spiders and somehow use magical powers to turn them into Christmas trees, snowmen, reindeer, and sparkly trinkets that smell like pine needles and cinnamon sticks.

It's just too much.  At least from a retailer's point of view anyway.

I mean, I get it.  I've been in the business of retail for nearly eleven years now.  I know how it works.  You get your Back To School merchandise in July.  You get Halloween stuff at the end of August.  And by the time Boxing Day rolls around, they're already starting to set up the Valentine's Day displays.

Because nothing says I love you quite like a box of stale cherry cordials.

Now, when it comes to your own homes, I don't have a problem with that.  If you want to decorate your house with enough lights to quadruple your electric bill, by all means, knock yourself out.  If you want to watch holiday movies, I don't have a problem with it.  Heck, I may end up cracking down and watching Frosty the Snowman later today.

What I do have an issue with is retailers trying to push ahead their holiday sales earlier and earlier to the point where Halloween and Christmas are merged into a superholiday that mimics Tim Burton's "A Nightmare Before Christmas".  It's just unnecessary.

Do you want to know when I saw my very first Christmas commercial this year?  October 31.  Halloween night!  I'm thinking...really?  We're going to go to that now?  It's bad enough that in the United States people wolf down their turkey dinners on Thanksgiving night to stand in line for twelve hours to save fourteen bucks on a pair of slippers at the Target Black Friday sale.  Do we really need to be reminded that Christmas is coming in fifty some days and that if we don't spend ten grand on our loved ones, we don't really love them?

I say that enough is enough.  I want to enjoy the holiday season without being barraged with holiday ads WAY before the holiday season even starts. 

And don't even get me started on the so-called Veteran's Day Sales or Remembrance Day Extravaganzas that retailers have been partaking in during recent years.  I'm fairly sure that all of those soldiers that sacrificed themselves during combat in war didn't do it so that their grandchildren could go shopping at Macy's while sipping on their Orange Julius beverages.  Yes, we have the freedom to live our lives because of it, but isn't it a slap in the face to become materialistic consumers on a day in which we are to memorialize and respect our veterans?



I'd be perfectly fine with making November 11 a statutory holiday.  All businesses should be closed that day so every single person who enjoys the freedom to be who they are can properly pay their respects to those who sacrificed themselves for us.

I say that we take back the month of November and wait until at least the end of the month to become Christmas crazy.  This materialism and corporate propaganda this early in the game is disgusting, and I know many people who say that they actually hate the holidays because of it.

This just isn't right.

Take Back November!

Friday, November 06, 2015

New Archies Reviewed - Episode 8B: Wooden It Be Lovely?

Okay, I'll warn you about something regarding this week's edition of "The New Archies Reviewed".  This is one of those episodes where it's more or less a "cause" episode.  It's one where you do see the whole cast of characters coming together to fight for what they believe in.

In this case, they're fighting to save a tree.  One tree.  Not a park.  Not a forest.  Not the Amazon.  Just one tree.  In some cases, some may throw up their hands and say screw it.  But when you throw in sentimental feelings, it's hard not to disagree with the way the Archie crew handled it.



It's time for Episode 8B:  Wooden It Be Lovely?

And already they screw it up by making a mistake in the spelling of the word lovely.  How "loverly".



Okay, so this time the episode opens up at a small little treehouse in a giant tree.  And there seems to be lots of laughter and good times coming from the top of the tree.  It's almost like a group of kids have built their own Studio 54 high up in the branches where the only thing missing is a record player blaring Donna Summer's "Hot Stuff" to the masses.



Ah, but here comes the Angel of Death Betty on her bicycle with some really bad news!  Apparently, Archie and the gang built that treehouse years ago and it is their official hangout - well, actually, it's their official hangout that doesn't charge any money unless you're Jughead and you owe Pop Tate a hundred dollars on his tab.  But if the city has their way, their treehouse is set to be demolished so that the town can build a new warehouse.

Naturally, the majority of the gang is saddened by the news that their treehouse is going to be no more and they start having flashbacks of some of the things that they used to do in the treehouse.



BETTY:  Hey, Veronica, remember when I tried to give you a perm and you ended up looking like a Troll Doll?  Wasn't that just the most radical thing ever?



EUGENE:  Hey, Archie and Jughead!  Remember when you ended up getting leprosy the mumps and you had to be quarantined inside the treehouse because your parents didn't want you infecting the neighbours and how we had to send you food while wearing masks?  Wasn't that totally gnarly, man?



MOOSE:  Hey, remember when Jughead and Reggie got high on drugs spun around and around on that tire swing and Jughead got so sick he threw up in Mrs. Schweckner's rose bushes?  Like, that was totally sick man.  In fact, I think I'm gonna be sick...BLAAAAAAAUGH!!!

Of course, there's one notable dissenter.  For some reason Reggie has all but accepted the fact that their treehouse is doomed and that there's nothing that they can do about it.  Well isn't he a pocketful of sunshine!



Naturally, Archie has not let Reggie's bad attitude stop him and his friends from taking a stand and he and the rest of the group brainstorm ways to stop the big bad city from knocking down their tree.  Amusingly, Reggie tries to sit out of the meeting, but Betty drags him into the circle!  Why do I get the feeling that Reggie is keeping a secret that nobody else is supposed to know?



Night falls and the plan is in motion.  It turns out that the Archie gang has just finished watching "Ernest Goes To Camp" and seem to have taken their defense strategy directly from the group of kids who were determined to save Kamp Kikakee.



Eugene is blowing up twenty...oh, wait.  Make that nineteen water balloons.  Again with the water balloons?  What, is that the only weapon the writers will let them have?



Amani arrives with a beehive filled with bees that she plans on putting inside the tree telling Archie that the bees will sting anyone who gets near the tree.  She later helps Eugene with the water balloons because she is contractually obligated to have at least 45 seconds of airtime each episode.  Seriously, what the hell is the point of Amani's character? 



Oh, and Betty and Veronica are tying Moose to the tree because they have the suspicion that the bulldozers will probably not want to knock the tree down if they have a 12-year-old trapped in a 31-year-old's body attached to the front of the tree.  But what's interesting is that Moose has come up with a protest song to sing to the people when they come tomorrow.  Here are the lyrics.  I swear, I am NOT making this up.

I'm chained to the tree
And I'll stay here forever
Til they don't cut it down
Cut it down

Wow.  How profound.  Joni Mitchell is weeping right now, I swear.

The gang all decide to grab their sleeping bags and stay overnight so they can be ready to launch their attacks on the warehouse crew.  Archie, Jughead, and Eugene are sleeping near the trunk of the tree where Moose is chained, while the girls are sleeping upstairs. 

You want to know what I'm wondering?  Where's Reggie?



Oh well...I guess I can't worry about that right now because something big is happening.  A mysterious stranger takes some metal cutters and snips the chains so that Moose is no longer chained to the tree.  I'm telling you.  Moose must either be an extremely sound sleeper or he took an entire bottle of sleeping pills because he is out like a light.



Our stranger also throws a jar of honey into the knothole of the tree where Amani's beehive is stashed, as well as puts holes in every single one of Eugene's nineteen water balloons. 

It seems as though SOMEONE wants this tree to be knocked down.  But who?

As dawn breaks and the wrecking crew pull up, the Archies take their positions, ready to fight back with their snapping turtles and Eggs Erroneous.



But wait.  Moose soon discovers that he's not chained to the tree anymore.  And Eugene discovers that the bees are in no condition to sting anyone since they were fed enough honey to last them until 1990 at least.  And Betty's discovery of the popped water balloons cinches it.  There is a saboteur at work here.



But Moose is now more determined than ever to stop the bulldozers from knocking down the tree.  He sings his protest song loudly at them.  Archie soon joins in, and before you know it the whole gang is singing the song.  I don't know whether to be moved or incredibly disturbed.



It looks like this public display of protest has attracted the attention of several prominent Riverdale citizens including the mayor of Riverdale who signed off on the warehouse project to bring more jobs to Riverdale.  MS. Grundy is also there taking the side of her students, claiming that they have the right to protest.  The mayor is not impressed by MS. Grundy's allegiance and starts to say something not so nice before he is interrupted by a news reporter so nosy that it makes the TMZ Crew look like absolute wallflowers in comparison.  Luckily, this news reporter makes the mayor swallow what little pride he has left and agrees to let the tree live...for now.

But that's okay with MS. Grundy's class because now they have time to fight the good fight legally.  And luckily, MS. Grundy has a lesson planned on fighting legal battles within the community!  This seems a little contrived, but just go with it.  And as MS. Grundy states, there are several ways to get your point across.




You could print flyers from a mimeograph machine - or, if you're living in 2015, a photocopier!



You can go to the library and do some research because back in 1987, the Internet was unavailable.

You can even get people to do up a petition to get people to support your cause, and is it just me or is this turning into an episode of Degrassi Junior High where Caitlin is standing up for some environmental cause while that bitch Kathleen tries to do everything to knock her down?



Naturally, Jughead tries to get the mayor to sign the petition and he proceeds to take the petition and crumples it into a ball - but when our lovely news reporter comes up to him and films him doing this deed, he uncrumples the petition and actually signs the petition to save the very tree that he wants to get rid of!  Awesome!

Just what tools elected this mayor anyway?



I guess it's time to find out, as there's a town meeting in place, and everyone who is in attendance seems to be the personal close friends of the corrupt mayor, as they basically agree with everything he says.



But wait!  MS. Grundy and her group of students come in and have their say at the meeting, saying that they have done their research and have come up with a number of reasons why the tree should be saved, and Betty smartly points out that hundreds of people signed the petition to save the tree - including the mayor.  And that obviously frosts the mayor's britches as he looks downright embarrassed to be there.

Well, that is until the town blowhard (and yes, every town has at least one) stands up and complains loudly about the tree, and that's enough for the mayor to say screw the petition and that the treehouse is being knocked down the next day. 



So that night, the gang arrives at the treehouse to pack up their belongings and say goodbye to their favourite spot once and for all with sadness in their eyes.  Sure, they have Eugene and Amani at the library trying to find some glimmer of hope that the tree can be saved, but given that Amani has already used up her 45 seconds of airtime, it's not looking good.



Oh, wait!  Eugene and Amani HAVE found something!  They found an old article from the newspaper archives, and they feel that something about it must be important.  But because someone cut out the pictures, they feel as though it's a lost cause.  You know...you could just try READING THE TEXT.  Just saying.



Now, watch!  At the mere mention of the article, Reggie decides that he doesn't want to be there any longer and sneaks out of the treehouse.  How peculiar.



It's time for round two of save the tree, and this time a large crowd has gathered around the area.  Of course, the mayor is there and I wouldn't put it past him to knock the tree down while killing off Moose, Veronica, and Jughead in the process.



But wait!  Here comes Reggie with the trump card.  He has the full article that Eugene and Amani found.  Turns out that the founder of the town, Horace T. Riverdale...

WAIT!  That's NOT right!  In any of the comic books, the founder of the town was General Pickins of whom Pickins Park was named after!  Did these people even bother to READ the comic books?  Oi!



Anyway, the founder of the town apparently used the tree that the kids built the treehouse on as a love letter to the very place he founded, and he apparently made the decision to settle here because of that tree.  Long story short, the tree is declared a historical landmark and it cannot be cut down.



And there is much rejoicing amongst the kids as they celebrate the fact that their tree is here to stay...but then they all go to the courthouse and are given punishments for desecrating a historical landmark by building a treehouse on it.  But, since there's only a minute and a half left in the episode, we don't see THAT part.



One mystery remains.  Why did Reggie wait until now to show his ace in the hole?  Well, turns out that Reggie knew all along that the warehouse was being built, and his father promised him a brand new bicycle if he kept his mouth shut.  Okay, are ALL adults in Riverdale this corrupt?

Fortunately, Reggie realized after the party that the gang threw him last episode that he has friends who care, and he just couldn't live with himself if he let the one thing that kept them together get destroyed.



Of course, Betty and Veronica may want to destroy Reggie in the process, considering that he carved his initials in the tree professing his love for BOTH women.



But Reggie points out one final carving that the founder made, dedicating his love for the community.  And we end our show, we get another chorus of "Chained To The Tree".

I don't know, guys and gals...this episode was exhausting to review.  The bad song, the corrupt adults, Reggie being Reggie...it just goes to show that in thirty years, politics just doesn't seem to change that much.  There's always going to be people in charge that you don't like, and who want to do everything to stick it to the little guy.

But as Archie and his friends proved, sometimes the little guy doesn't go quietly.  Sometimes, they win.

Next week...well, we've already spoofed Nancy Drew, Cinderella, and the Wizard of Oz.  May as well give Teen Wolf a try.