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Monday, January 04, 2016

2015 IN REVIEW: Personal Reflections

Well, this is it.  The final entry that I'll write about the year gone by.

And this time, I'm making it personal.



Seriously, this is the personal reflections portion of the blog, where I talk about what 2015 meant to me, and things I hope for in the new year.



And, how do I feel about the year that has just gone by?  Well, on a personal note, 2015 was one of those years that started out terribly, but ended on a high note.  I suppose if you took the movie "Inside Out" as an example, the beginning part of my journey was made up of Sadness and Anger orbs.  Towards March and April, it was mostly Fear orbs.  Then around July, it was all Joy orbs...and by September we went back to fear orbs again.  As I closed off the year, I think I'm back to those glorious yellow orbs.

Interestingly enough, I never really felt much disgust over anything this year.  I guess the Mindy Kaling part of my brain went on vacation this past year.

So, I suppose that if I could define 2015 on a personal level with one or two images, it'd be these.



Yes, the SOLD sign and the key to my home.  In 2015, I became a first time homeowner, and I have to say, it's been a whirlwind of emotions. 

Ultimately, the day I got my key was the day my joy emotion went into overdrive.  Finally, I had something to show for my hard work.  Finally I had a place of my own where I could do whatever I wanted with it.  Finally I had escaped the apartment of doom where misery guts and abandoned dreams came to settle!  Not even Bing Bong himself would have helped make that building more pleasant to live in!  Definitely a lot of anger and disgust memories were added to my memory banks the eleven years I stayed there!

But as much joy as I felt in getting freedom, there was just as much fear over how I was going to keep this dream going.  Just the expenses alone that I went through this year in restoration, repairs, and bills have made me completely broke! 

But you know, they do say that the first year of home ownership is the hardest and that once you get past that, it becomes easier.  I'm six months into it now, and gradually it's beginning to get more stable.  It all depends on how much I want this house, and how much financial planning I need to do, and how much havoc Kathleen Wynne and her merry maidens of Liberal corruption hike up the prices of electricity and carbon.

(Normally I hate talking politics, but in this case I will make an exception and say to myself - how can these idiots elect someone who has nearly bankrupted the province I live in?)

Ah, there's that disgust shining through...followed by a little taste of anger.



Okay, let's change the emotional rollercoaster direction a little bit here as I talk about a little sadness here.  2015 started off on a bad note as I lost the last remaining grandparent I had left.  It didn't matter that she had been in ill health for some time prior to that, and that she didn't really recognize any of us the closer it came to the day she died...it was still a sad event - and sobering at that.  When I was a kid, all four of my grandparents were still alive.  By the age of 33, all of them were gone.  It makes me realize that we don't have as long on this planet as we all would like to think, and it certainly makes you want to cherish the people who are in your life.



But one thing I did also learn was that sometimes people who find love sometimes get it right the first time.  Just ask my parents, who celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary in 2015!

2015 was also the year that I ended up changing jobs - twice.  Mind you, they were only departments in the store I've worked at for years, but still...they are changes that brought forth fear.  But once I got used to one of the jobs, that fear turned into confidence, and that confidence provided joyful memories that I will take with me to my new position.  But, considering that I am a homeowner now, maybe 2016 is the year I start expanding my options and try to find a job that will be worth more in both monetary value and personal development.  The year's only four days old.  Lots of time to figure out a plan.  For now, I'll do what I can with what I have to work with.

And, 2015 was the year that I learned a very important lesson about life itself.  I learned that under no circumstances are toxic people ever to be allowed anywhere near me.  Toxic people just cause a lot of anger and sadness, and who really wants those two emotions behind the wheel of the decision making shuttle zooming around your brain?  Part of the reason why moving to a new place was so joyful was that I was escaping a place where there were nothing but toxic people.  And now that I don't ever have to deal with any of them again, I feel absolutely hopeful for what the future has to bring instead of dreading the worst.

Besides...spending time with toxic people makes one feel incredibly lonely.  And I'm tired of feeling that way.  I'm not saying that I'm going to head down to the local bar to buy everyone drinks.  One, I can't afford to, and two, I'm not quite ready to make friends with everyone.  But that said, I wouldn't mind finding a companion to hang around with - even if it's just to hang out on a park bench people watching. 

Yeah, that didn't sound creepy.  That didn't sound creepy at all.

So, what do I hope for in the year 2016?

Well, given all of the news regarding violent acts of crime all over the world, I would obviously wish for people to act more civil and give more compassion to others.  While we're at it, I'm all for logical control of firearms.  I wouldn't ban all of them outright, but I also wouldn't happily hand out bazookas to everyone in the street.  There's got to be a median somewhere that everyone can agree on.

I also am hoping that anyone else but Donald Trump gets elected at President.  Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, Jeb Bush...heck, even Achmed the Dead Terrorist would make a better choice!  I feel so strongly about it that from now on I'm not even going to mention his name in this blog at all.

(It's my blog.  I have the freedom to do that.)

On a personal level, the thing I want most for 2016 is to finally start standing up for myself and not let people walk all over me.  I've had too many people do that with me and take advantage of me - so much so that I was kind of numb to it.  If anything, this newly found independence that I developed in the middle of 2015 has taught me that I don't have to settle for less.  In fact, I won't settle for being treated any less of a person than I know I am.  I cut a lot of ties with toxic people that I do not regret at all, and I'm open to replacing them with people who are positive influences.

(This includes family members too.)

In a way, I'm sad to see 2015 end.  It was a life-changing year for me.  It's going to be pretty hard to top it.  But in 2016, I plan on enjoying the ride no matter where it takes me.

Look out, Sixteen.  I'm coming on strong.  And for the first time in a long time, all my emotions are in control!

Sunday, January 03, 2016

2015 IN REVIEW: The Year In Music

I know it must seem like a pain to keep talking about 2015 when we're already three days into the new year, but I promise you...we're almost there.



This is the music portion of the blog, and I must say that when it comes to music, 2015 absolutely rocked!

Seriously, I think I've downloaded more songs from 2015 than I have the other years of the 2010s combined!  I think there must be something about the number five, as I love music from 1985, 1995, and 2005 as well.

To begin this swan song of 2015 off the right way, let's have a look at the songs that topped the charts this past year!  A total of nine songs reached number one, which seems a little bit low of a number to me - especially when you consider that 1988 had THIRTY-TWO chart toppers!  But, nine is what we have, and nine is what we're going to focus on.

Blank Space/TAYLOR SWIFT
Uptown Funk/MARK RONSON f. BRUNO MARS
See You Again/WIZ KHALIFA f. CHARLIE PUTH
Bad Blood/TAYLOR SWIFT f. KENDRICK LAMAR
Cheerleader/OMI
Can't Feel My Face/THE WEEKND
What Do You Mean?/JUSTIN BIEBER
The Hills/THE WEEKND
Hello/ADELE

Seems to be the year of the featured artists, huh?  So, a few notes...



Who knew that "Uptown Funk" would be such a smash hit for 2015?!?  The period between January and May 2015 was such that you couldn't turn on a radio station without hearing this song playing!  And while Bruno Mars lent his vocals to this funk soul classic, the real star of the show was Mark Ronson, who clearly showed his stellar DJ skills.  And you know, this song ALMOST broke the record for most weeks on the top of the Billboard charts...but alas, the song was two weeks short.  Still, fourteen weeks at #1 is nothing to sneeze at.




Say what you want about Justin Bieber's personal life (and many have).  You have to admit that 2015 has been the year of his musical comeback.  He is one of the few artists around to have a single debut at #1.  In fact, his entire album "Purpose" has been critically acclaimed and has earned rave reviews from fans - in fact, I shamefully admit to kind of liking the song posted above.  If Bieber can finally clean up his act, he may find 2016 to be bigger than 2015.



Another artist who I predict will have a stellar 2016 is Charlie Puth.  His debut album isn't set to be released for another four weeks, but if his performance on the song "See You Again" - a collaboration with Wiz Khalifa - is any indication as to what his future holds, I'm sure it's going to be quite fantastic.  The song itself as many of you know was written as a tribute to the late Paul Walker, and is the closing song of the movie "Furious 7".



Can we talk a little bit about The Weeknd?  Much like Justin Bieber, he got his start posting YouTube videos of him performing, and now he's got two of the biggest songs of 2015!  I'll admit, I like "Can't Feel My Face", and as far as the upcoming Grammy Awards go, he is nominated for seven!  Even if he doesn't win any, that's still something to celebrate.



Sadly, Adele's song "Hello" is ineligible for any Grammy Awards this year.  Her album "25" just missed the cut off point for applicants.  Oh, well...there's always 2017.  By then, Adele should have released at least four other singles.  Regardless of awards though, Adele fans have waited at least four years for new music from her.  I think they'd agree it was worth the wait.

Speaking of the Grammy Awards, while the 2016 ceremony is still a month away, let's see who won awards at the 2015 ceremony, shall we?  Again, most of this music was released in 2014, but I have some notes to jot down.



RECORD OF THE YEAR:  Stay With Me/SAM SMITH
ALBUM OF THE YEAR:  Morning Phase/BECK
SONG OF THE YEAR:  Stay With Me/SAM SMITH
BEST NEW ARTIST:  Sam Smith
BEST POP VOCAL ALBUM:  In The Lonely Hour/SAM SMITH
BEST ROCK ALBUM:  Morning Phase/BECK
BEST R&B ALBUM:  Love, Marriage & Divorce/TONI BRAXTON and BABYFACE
BEST RAP ALBUM:  The Marshall Mathers LP 2 - EMINEM
BEST COUNTRY ALBUM:  Platinum - MIRANDA LAMBERT
BEST TRADITIONAL POP VOCAL ALBUM:  Cheek to Cheek - TONY BENNETT & LADY GAGA



So, I think we can agree that Sam Smith had one hell of a year, didn't he?  I think I lost count of how many awards he won.  But you know something?  Good for him!  He has a singing voice that is quite unique and stands out.  And to end his year off on a high note, he was chosen to sing the theme for the newest James Bond movie "Spectre".  He has now joined a club that includes Shirley Bassey, Paul McCartney, Gladys Knight, and Carly Simon!  Now that's a club anyone would be proud to be in!



Unfortunately, Sam Smith's domination at the 2015 Grammy Awards meant that some people were left awardless.  One such person was Ed Sheeran whose album "X" was completely shut out.  Luckily, Sheeran has a chance to make up for it this year, as he's up for four.



Another person who did quite well at the awards last year was Beck.  I've been a Beck fan for many years now (going back to '96's "Devil's Haircut"), and was so happy that he won at least a couple of Grammy Awards.  One thing I was NOT happy with was seeing Kanye West charge up on stage to defend Beyonce once more...but at least this time, Kanye waited until the show was over before badmouthing the whole process.



You know, it's a good thing Paul McCartney and Rihanna teamed up with him on the track "FourFiveSeconds".  Otherwise, Kanye West would just be known as Mr. Kim Kardashian.  And it pains me to admit this...but I like the song.  Though, I think having a Beatle and Rihanna helped out a lot in that regard.



As for Miranda Lambert, I think it's safe to say that she's probably wanting better things for 2016.  The high was that she won the award for Best Country Album.  The low was that she divorced her husband Blake Shelton towards the end of the year, and now Shelton is involved with No Doubt singer Gwen Stefani.  At least both Lambert and Shelton have kept their divorce extremely civil, as have Stefani and her ex-husband Gavin Rossdale.  At least for now they have anyway.

So, who is up for nominations this year?  I've already mentioned The Weeknd and Ed Sheeran, but joining them are Mark Ronson, Taylor Swift, Kendrick Lamar, Little Big Town, Meghan Trainor, Sam Hunt, Ellie Goulding, Wiz Khalifa, Charlie Puth, James Taylor, Alabama Shakes, Florence + The Machine, Foo Fighters, Tamar Braxton, Drake, and Carrie Underwood, amongst others!  But, we'll have to wait until the day after Valentine's Day to find out who won.

Okay, so let's talk about hits and misses of the year.



You know, given that it was one of her most mature and polished efforts in recent years, Madonna was completely shut out of the Grammy Awards this year.  "Rebel Heart" was critically acclaimed and was considered one of her strongest albums since 2005's "Confessions on a Dance Floor".  But the only thing most people seem to remember her doing this year was falling down the stairs during her BRIT Awards performance.  Ouch.  For what it's worth, I do like the song "Living For Love", but were there not any other choices for song releases than "Bitch, I'm Madonna"?



Can we just talk about Drake for a moment?  I'm sure most of you have seen the music video for "Hotline Bling", which I have to admit is an okay song.  But what is up with those dance moves, Drake?  You had better swagger when you were on Degrassi - and half your time there your character was in a wheelchair!  Though, I don't really know why I'm judging so harshly because Drake's dancing is a much better effort than I could ever do!  That's it, Drake!  Keep dancing!



Congratulations to The Paul Butterfield Blues Band, Joan Jett & The Blackhearts, Lou Reed, Green Day, Stevie Ray Vaughan and Double Trouble, and Bill Withers for being inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2015!  And, while I won't be talking much about the 2016 inductees until a year from now, I will cheat and congratulate Chicago for finally making it in after what seemed like centuries of trying!



Ariana Grande, what the hell happened?  You started off 2015 so well with a hit album, hit singles with "Problem" and "Love Me Harder", and you had sold out concerts.  And then you licked all the donuts and claimed that you hated America.  It's a good thing your fans are forgiving and that your latest song "Focus" is climbing up the charts...else you'd be a flash in the pan.



As for you, Britney Spears...you may have thought that by teaming up with Iggy Azalea for the single "Pretty Girls" it would be your comeback song after years away from the charts, but it was not to be.  In fact, I think this song was both of your worst performing singles to date - and that's saying something given that Iggy released "Booty" with J.Lo last year!



On the flipside, who knew that keeping your identity a secret would pay off?  Okay, so maybe some people actually know what Sia looks like underneath that funky wig...it doesn't change the fact that her 2015 was fantastic!  Riding the coattails of her successful album "1000 Forms of Fear", she will release her seventh studio album "This Is Acting" in January 2016, and word is that it's set to be even bigger than the previous one!



Shania Twain also made a name for herself in 2015, as she announced that she would be going on her final tour, beginning in June.  It would be the first tour that she went on since 2004, and she plans on releasing a brand new album - the first in thirteen years!





Fans all over the world seemingly wept over Zayn Malik's departure from the band One Direction in March 2015, but that didn't stop the remaining four members from continuing on and scoring yet another hit album.  I bet some fans may even be saying...Zayn who?  Though the band has announced that as of January 1, 2016, they'll be on hiatus, who knows how long that will be for?

Sadly, 2015 marked the dissolution of several bands, including The Black Crowes, Motley Crue, Motorhead, and Scott Weiland and the Wildabouts - the last two because of the deaths of Lemmy Kilmister and Scott Weiland.



Finally, as 2015 ended, we had to say goodbye to Natalie Cole, who passed away on December 31 at the age of 65.  The daughter of Nat King Cole, she proved to the world that she could make it as a solo singer.  And while the above single - while originally released by Bruce Springsteen in 1984 - may be considered her most known work, seriously check out some of the other songs she's done.  Very sad news in the music industry as the year ended.


And that closes the chapter on 2015 in music.  Tomorrow...I offer up my own experiences of 2015, and what I hope will happen in the 366 days that make up 2016.

Saturday, January 02, 2016

2015 IN REVIEW: The Year In Television

I hope that the first day of 2016 was good to you, and I hope that you're ready to make the rest of the year a great one!  Keep in mind that it's a leap year this year, so you have an extra day to make it awesome!

Of course, we still have a little bit of stuff to talk about regarding the year that just ended a couple of days ago. 



For instance, this is the day that I plan to talk about all of the great television that aired during 2015.  And while online services like Netflix, Hulu, Shomi, and Crave TV are gaining in popularity, you can't dismiss the standards that air on the four major networks. 

There's a lot to discuss, so why don't we start by taking a look at the list of television shows that ended their runs in 2015.  There's quite a long list of them. 

A To Z (January 22)
Bad Judge (January 22)
The Taste (January 22)
Resurrection (January 25)
Web Therapy (January 28)
Parenthood (January 29)
Red Band Society (February 7)
Constantine (February 13)
Mulaney (February 15)
State of Affairs (February 16)
About A Boy (February 17)
Marry Me (February 17)
The Mentalist (February 18)
Two and a Half Men (February 19)
Parks and Recreation (February 24)
Allegiance (March 5)
The Queen Latifah Show (March 6)
Glee (March 20)
Hart of Dixie (March 27)
Cougar Town (March 31)
Cristela (April 17)
One Big Happy (April 28)
Backstrom (April 30)
Forever (May 5)
Revenge (May 10)
Mad Men (May 17)
The Following (May 18)
Stalker (May 18)
19 Kids and Counting (May 19)
Late Show With David Letterman (May 20)
Battle Creek (May 24)
Hot In Cleveland (June 3)
Phineas and Ferb (June 12)
Nurse Jackie (June 28)
The McCarthys (July 11)
Degrassi:  The Next Generation (August 2)
Melissa & Joey (August 5)
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (August 6)
Key & Peele (August 26)
Extant (September 9)
Under The Dome (September 10)
Up To The Minute (September 18)
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (September 27)
Best Time Ever With Neil Patrick Harris (November 3)
The Player (November 19)
America's Next Top Model (December 4)
Haven (December 17)
The Soup (December 18)
Downton Abbey (December 25)



Of all of these shows, the clearest loser in this is NBC, the network that is no longer Must See TV.  Most of the network's new shows didn't even last a full season before being canned!  Even The CW has a better track record!  Clearly, people weren't happy with "One Big Happy", the best time ever was NOT with Neil Patrick Harris, and I don't even think I can explain how "Bad Judge" was even greenlit.  It's a good thing NBC still has "Hollywood Game Night", "The Voice", and "Heroes: Reborn", or else it would be completely screwed!

Though, "Parenthood" and "Parks and Recreation" had been on for quite some time, so we'll give them a pass.



It was also the year that a lot of long running shows said their goodbyes.  CSI wrapped up a fifteen year run with a two hour television movie.  "America's Next Top Model" crowned its first (and I guess only) deaf winner in 26-year-old Nyle DiMarco.  "Two and a Half Men" ended their series in what could be considered one of the most bizarre series finales ever created.  "Mad Men", on the flipside, had a finale that was completely satisfying and wonderful.  And while we still have to wait to see this play out here in North America, the UK aired the final episode of "Downton Abbey" on Christmas Day.



The late night landscape took a few hits as David Letterman retired from hosting the Late Show with David Letterman, and Jon Stewart stepped down from hosting The Daily Show.  But Stephen Colbert and Trevor Noah have proven that they have the chops to keep the show going.  I only wish Joel McHale had a way to keep "The Soup" going.  That show is really the only reason I ever watch "E!". 



At least we have James Corden and his Carpool Karaoke to keep us entertained.

Now, let's chat about some of the shows that debuted in 2015 and are getting a lot of people talking.



People are talking about "Empire" - the FOX show that stars Terrence Howard and Taraji P. Henson and is about the struggles within a hip hop record company.  The show debuted last January and is one of the more successful shows of the year.



CSI is determined not to let its brand die, and the fourth spinoff series "CSI: Cyber" debuted in February 2015.  But already the show has had some retooling.  Out was Peter MacNicol and in went Ted Danson who reprised the role he played on the original CSI series.  Time will tell if the decision was a good one.

Netflix is fast becoming a powerhouse in the television industry.  They've already had hits with "Orange is the New Black" and "House of Cards", and in 2015, they added "Sense8", "The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt", "Bloodlines" and "Narcos" to their program line-up.  



Plus, the network already has people salivating over the "Fuller House" series, set to debut on February 26, 2016.  Definitely a good reason to "Netflix & Chill" this past year!



As if we needed any more Kardashians to clog up the airwaves, "I Am Cait" debuted in the summer of 2015.  At first, I admit that the show - which featured the former Bruce Jenner trying to figure life out as Caitlyn - was an interesting piece...but then as she made the show all about herself and less about the transgendered community, it got real old, real fast.  If you want to watch a decent show about transgendered people, might I recommend "Transparent" starring Jeffrey Tambor.  It's scripted, yet somehow more believable.



Proving that zombies aren't quite dead yet, The CW debuted "iZombie" in March.  New Zealander Rose McIver shines as Liv, a woman who is not quite alive, not quite dead, who uses the brains of murder victims to solve crimes.  It sounds unbelievable, but it's strangely captivating.  On a related note, have you ever wondered what life was like before "The Walking Dead"?  Well AMC made a prequel series entitled "Fear The Walking Dead", depicting how society collapsed as the zombie outbreak increased.  Some say it's not as good as the parent series, but still...it's worth watching.



SPIKE TV is the site of one of the surprise breakout hits in a show entitled "Lip Sync Battle".  Hosted by LL Cool J and Chrissy Teigen, celebrities go head to head against each other lip synching to popular hits in costume.  The first season debuted in April, and season two is set to debut next week!  Who knows what the latest television trends will bring, huh?



I certainly hope the Sharknado obsession has finally dried up.  The third movie was even more terrible than ever...and that's NOT a good thing.



Finally, when it comes to network television, this season could be potentially one of the stronger ones to date.  Good reviews have been issued for "Limitless", "Code Black", "Quantico", "Scream Queens", "Blindspot", "Life In Pieces", and "The Muppets", and I can safely say that at least half of these shows will likely still be on the air before 2016 wraps up.

And yes...people are still obsessed with "Game of Thrones".  In other news, the sky is still blue.

Now, let's have a look at some of the people who have won some of the various reality shows that have aired this past year.  I already revealed the winner of "America's Next Top Model", but here are some others.

SURVIVOR: WORLDS APART:  Mike Holloway
SURVIVOR: CAMBODIA:  Jeremy Collins
AMERICAN IDOL:  Nick Fradiani
THE VOICE 8:  Sawyer Fredericks
THE VOICE 9:  Jordan Smith
BIG BROTHER 17:  Steve Moses
BIG BROTHER CANADA 3:  Sarah Hanlon
THE AMAZING RACE 26:  Tyler Adams/Laura Pearson
THE AMAZING RACE 27:  Joey Buttitta/Kelsey Gerckens
THE AMAZING RACE CANADA 3:  Gino and Jesse Montani
MASTERCHEF 6:  Claudia Sandoval
MASTERCHEF CANADA 2:  David Jorge
DANCING WITH THE STARS 20:  Rumer Willis/Valentin Chmerkovskiy



DANCING WITH THE STARS 21:  Bindi Irwin/Derek Hough

Congratulations to all winners!

Finally, some major achievements.



First off, congratulations to the soap opera "Days of our Lives" for celebrating fifty years on the air.  The show, which debuted in November 1965, has seen several storylines involving births, deaths, teen issues, and even a devil possession!  But after years of declining ratings, DAYS has seemed to hit their stride once more and is still chugging along.  Congratulations!



Overseas, I also want to extend a happy belated 30th birthday to "EastEnders" and "Neighbours".  Both series debuted in 1985 and both were still strong ratings winners in 2015!  



And while we're across the pond, a happy 20th birthday to "Hollyoaks" as well!

A hearty congratulations also go out to "The Young and the Restless" for celebrating its twenty-seventh consecutive year as the most watched daytime drama!  That news would even make Victor Newman melt with pride!

Finally, here is a list of the Primetime Emmy Award winners for 2015.

OUTSTANDING COMEDY SERIES:  Veep
OUTSTANDING DRAMA SERIES:  Game of Thrones
OUTSTANDING VARIETY TALK SHOW:  The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
OUTSTANDING VARIETY SKETCH SERIES:  Inside Amy Schumer
OUTSTANDING REALITY COMPETITION PROGRAM:  The Voice
OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTOR (COMEDY):  Jeffrey Tambor
OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTRESS (COMEDY):  Julia Louis-Dreyfus
OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTOR (DRAMA):  Jon Hamm



OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTRESS (DRAMA):  Viola Davis

I think that about wraps up this look at television during the year 2015.  Thanks for tuning in!

Coming up tomorrow - strap on your dancing shoes!  We look at the best and worst in music of 2015!

Friday, January 01, 2016

New Archies Reviewed - Episode 12B: Making of Mr. Righteous

Hey, guys!  And, might I add...Happy 2016 to all of you reading this!

This is the first entry of 2016, and it happens to be a New Archies Reviewed entry!  How about that?

Actually, the timing of today's episode is good, because this episode happens to deal with change and confusion - two very common feelings that one might have at the turn of the brand new year.  And while I'm not a fan of a story that involves doppelgangers, I have to say that there are a few segments of the ending that have some funny moments.  Actually, this episode is probably one of the better ones, though definitely not one of my top ranked.



But I've rambled on enough.  Time to review Episode 12B:  Making of Mr. Righteous!

And, right off the bat, I'm thinking that the star of the show must be Jacob Two-Two (a character that was created by Mordecai Richler that said everything twice everything twice), because we hear someone saying the same things over and over again.



Turns out, it's just Eugene and his robotic lookalike.  Oh, sure...why not?  He's already invented a truth telling machine, an alien summoner, and a machine capable of swapping people's minds.  Why not have a robot double?

To Eugene's credit though, the robot does look a lot like him.  Obviously there are differences - the robot has pictures of tools on his sweater and has a mouth like a ventriloquist dummy - but only an idiot wouldn't be able to tell the two apart.



Oh, look...here comes Moose.  And while Eugene has ducked out the back door of his home, Moose has come across Robo-Gene and thinks it's really Eugene.  Of course, Eugene made sure to power off the robot before leaving, but Moose smacks it on the back and Robo-Gene comes back on, telling Moose that his shirt has a nasty chocolate stain on the front.

(I'm more concerned over the fact that Moose seems to be eating chocolate for breakfast, but what do I know?)



Oh, and Robo-Gene refuses to leave the house until Moose cleans his nasty self up.  Wow, who died and made you Queen of England, Robo-Gene?  Sheesh!

Outside of Archie's house, Archie is playing a friendly game of Frisbee with his dog Red, and Eugene comes across Red who greets him very warmly.



See, Red knows who his friends are.

And as Eugene throws the frisbee for Red to catch, Archie decides that he will walk with Eugene to school, which means that the game is over for Red.



So, imagine Red's confusion when he sees Moose and Robo-Gene walking by Archie's house.  Red is obviously more intelligent than Moose is and instantly recognizes Robo-Gene as an imposter, but Moose sees nothing strange about it and carries on.

Fairly sad when a dog is smarter than most of the humans on the show.



Introducing the B-plot.  Mr. Weatherbee has been eating way too much junk food lately and an unseen voice is telling him that he needs to stay on his diet.  And already he's breaking his vow to diet by sneaking a Mr. Goodbar!  For shame, Mr. Weatherbee!

I mean, even Robo-Gene comments that for Mr. Weatherbee going on a diet, it wasn't a day too soon!  WHAT?  Wow, this robot is even sassier than Veronica!  I guess it's a good thing Veronica doesn't appear in this episode because that would be too much sass for eleven and a half minutes!



Fortunately, Moose gets Robo-Gene to shut up by holding his hands over his mouth - which I would think would give up the fact that he's a robot because metal is COLD, but since this show depicts Moose as a 30-year-old who has flunked seventh grade eighteen times, I guess we can kind of overlook it. 



Besides, Mr. Weatherbee is more concerned that he's seeing double, as Archie and Eugene pass by his office seconds after Moose and Robo-Gene leave.  Watch closely through this episode, and you will see Mr. Weatherbee slide further into insanity frame by frame.  It's like "The Shining", only he doesn't smash a door with an axe.

It's lunchtime, and Moose has apparently milked a cow before sitting down.  Seriously, how much milk does he have with him!  Of course, Robo-Gene has no food with him because they don't serve oil and WD40 at the cafeteria...at least not that we know of anyway.



Jughead comes up to Moose and Robo-Gene's table and asks them if he can borrow five bucks because he's a jobless broke loser who has already sponged off Archie, Betty, Veronica, MS. Grundy, Pop Tate, and that girl that Moose killed in "Goodbye, MS. Grundy".  Robo-Gene uses his steel cojones to tell Jughead "screw you" in Eugene language, which makes me wonder if Eugene used parts from the truth-telling machine he invented to create Robo-Gene.

Moose suggests that Jughead try to hit up Big Ethel for some money since Ethel has had a crush on Jughead forever and would literally give Jughead all the money in the world for just one kiss.  But Jughead claims that not even he is that desperate.  Remember this for later, kids.



Meanwhile, Betty is trying to cram an entire encyclopedia set inside her tiny locker, and she accidentally tears her brand new pink sweater that we'll never see again after this episode.  But despite her fashion faux pas, Eugene compliments her on such a wonderful oversized sweater from the Olivia Newton-John clothing line, and Betty seems to take the compliment in stride.  For now.



Back outside, Moose is eating a sandwich that is the SIZE OF AN EXTRA LARGE PIZZA, and he feels that Robo-Gene is looking a little bit skinny - especially since Robo-Gene announces that he wants to try out for the track team like Moose.  So, Moose throws one of his gigantic sandwiches in front of him.  Forget the Whopper from Burger King...this is a Colossus!



Betty walks by and is at first stunned to see Robo-Gene, because apparently Betty had Stupid Smacks for breakfast this morning and can't tell the two apart.  This is problematic given that Robo-Gene contradicts everything Eugene said about Betty's sweater, claiming that she looks like a prostitute person who can't choose colours correctly.  Cue the angry blonde woman storming off in a huff.



As if Robo-Eugene can't sink any lower, he gives a passing MS. Grundy the giant sandwich and more or less tells her that she's an anorexic twig who has hair from the 14th century - though not in those words. 



Woe befall the human...or robot...who insults MS. Grundy and tells her that Stacy and Clinton from "What Not To Wear" are waiting for her.  For you see, this means that Robo-Gene has detention after school, banning him from going to the tryouts.  But Robo-Gene tells Moose that he'll be there.  What a defiant bucket of bolts Robo-Gene is.

(Can we keep him?  Please?)

Oh, and Mr. Weatherbee is ever so slowly losing his mind.  It's quite disturbing to see...in a totally hilarious way.



Robo-Gene's next victim is Amani, who I believe makes her final appearance in this series.  And a shame that in her final episode, Robo-Gene is so smarmy and sarcastic that he makes Andrew Dice Clay look like Mahatma Gandhi in comparison.  Amani basically tells Robo-Gene to meet her at Pop's after school so he can help her with her homework, and this causes Robo-Gene to temporarily short out.  Don't worry though.  He'll be back to his old self soon enough.



The real Eugene bumps into Moose who reminds Eugene of the track tryouts.  But of course, Eugene knows nothing of what his robot twin has done, and tells Moose that he will not be going.



Imagine an already confused Moose getting even more confused when Robo-Gene is dressed up in a track outfit (wait, the robot can dress itself?  What the hell?), and insults Moose on top of that!  I tell you, Robo-Gene is on fire...and so is Moose, judging by how angry he looks!



Soon after, Moose and Robo-Gene run into Big Ethel and Jughead, and while Ethel is happy that Jughead wants to spend time with her, Robo-Gene comments that Jughead's desperation levels are at an all time high.



I get the impression that Ethel thinks this doesn't fly with her...and that Jughead is wanting a suit of armor.

And after seeing two Eugenes once more, Weatherbee looks like he wants to buy every Krispy Kreme donut in the world to eat...poor guy's cracking up!



Poor Eugene seems just as confused as Mr. Weatherbee.  First, Betty gives him the evil eye...or maybe a voodoo curse given the lightning bolts coming out of her head.



Then Jughead - with a fresh shiner - growls at him.



Then MS. Grundy yanks him into detention where Reggie apparently has an issue with Eugene as well, but nowhere do we find out what it is.  I'm thinking this episode must have been edited, because I can't remember. 



No wonder Eugene wants to break down and cry!

I'm sure that Moose wants to do the same thing when Robo-Gene comes to the track and field tryouts and sees that Robo-Gene has broken his record in the discus throw.  Why, it's enough to make a grown man take off his shirt and mope.



And yet, that's what our thirty-year-old Moose does.  Seriously, does anyone know any twelve year old that looks like that?  I don't!

But wait...I just thought of something.  If Eugene is serving Robo-Gene's detention...and Robo-Gene is humiliating Moose at the track and field tryouts...then who is supposed to be meeting Amani at Pop's?



Nobody apparently, because girl is downright pissed at Eugene.  She practically breaks up with him and throws a ketchup and salt sandwich in his face, telling him how much of a jerk he is for standing her up, with Eugene giving Amani a "who the hell are you" look.  Seriously, Robo-Gene is making Eugene's life a living hell, and Eugene is like..."why does everyone hate me now"?

Well, if Eugene can take some comfort in anything, it's that Robo-Gene is destroying Mr. Weatherbee's life too.  And seeing both real Eugene and Robo-Gene at Pop's makes him have a nervous breakdown.



Normally, I'd be concerned, but this is the most screentime that Weatherbee has ever had in an episode.  Apparently crazy Weatherbee is better than no Weatherbee.



A dejected Eugene goes home, thinking that life might be better if he was really Dilton Doiley but then he realizes that his doppelganger is not around, and suddenly the wheels in his head begin to spin.



And at Pop's the gang all realize that maybe something is wrong with Eugene because he hasn't been acting like himself at all (you think?).  Archie comes up with the idea to find him, and the gang all cheer.  Well, that could mean that they will talk to him to find out what is wrong, or they will kill him.  Given that this is a children's cartoon, I think I know the choice they make.

But then maybe I'm not so sure because Mr. Weatherbee is on a dock preparing to jump in.  Ummmm...WHAT?  They wouldn't dare show a suicide attempt on this show, would they?



No, instead they have Robo-Gene come up to Weatherbee who is so frightened that he accidentally falls into the sea!  And of course, Weatherbee can't swim.



But this is where things really get interesting.  As the rest of the gang arrive at the dock, they witness Robo-Gene jumping into the water to save Mr. Weatherbee's life!  Wow, waterproof too!  Eugene thought of everything!

Fortunately, Robo-Gene rescues Weatherbee...unfortunately, Weatherbee sees Robo-Gene and passes out in fear.

Hold on to your hats, this is where things get really screwed up.



Moose, obviously still upset with Eugene, shakes Robo-Gene so hard that his head flies off.  Moose cries that he has killed his best friend.



Archie holds up Robo-Gene's head, and Moose is upset that his best friend is a robot.  I swear, Moose is the Chrissy Snow of "The New Archies".  Seriously, Archie even gives off a "what the hell did you just say" look to Moose.  Mr. Weatherbee sees Archie holding Robo-Gene's head and screams.  Then when Mr. Weatherbee sees Eugene running towards them, he panics and starts to back up...



...sending everyone into the water.



Headless Robo-Gene taps Weatherbee's shoulder, and Weatherbee passes out again.  Funny thing is, this is Weatherbee's last appearance.  Maybe he spent episode thirteen in a mental asylum getting over his fear of Eugene.

Of course, Eugene thinks this is the funniest thing ever, and he's like...I can't believe you guys are so stupid that you thought that robot was me!



But, of course, headless Robo-Gene shoves real Eugene into the water.



And everyone laughs at him...and rightly so because HE CAUSED THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE!

So, that wraps up episode twelve.  I like this episode a lot better than the one with Archie and the prince, and there were some laugh out loud moments.  I have to admit that at times I liked Robo-Gene because he was the only character who had the strength to let everyone know what he thought, no matter how controversial.  Rumour has it that the computer chips that made up Robo-Gene's personality were implanted inside Donald Trump sometime around 2004.  But that's just a rumour.

Anyway, we're just two episodes left from wrapping up this feature.  Coming up next week in the first part of the finale...an episode starring a tertiary character?  This ought to be good!