Search This Blog

Friday, April 15, 2016

Jem Reviewed: Episode 4 - Frame Up

Last time we checked in with Jem, we learned that Ashley was sick of being treated like a misfit by the Starlight Girls, so she decided to be a Misfit.  Kimber was sick of living in Jem's shadow and quit the band for four minutes.  And thanks to Pizzazz, Jem risks getting crushed to death on the set of Lindsey Pearce's talk show!

So much for wanting your MTV, huh?



As we kick off Episode 4: Frame Up, Jem is still at risk of being crushed to death, electrocuted, or set on fire thanks to Pizzazz shoving Rio into a bunch of electronic equipment that caused the lighting to crash down.  Fortunately, Rio didn't get hurt, and he runs to a mobile camera where he uses it as a sort of crane to pull Jem out of harm's way.  Way to go, Rio!



Jem is physically okay, but nearly collapses due to the stress of almost dying.  Lindsey tells Rio to take Jem to her dressing room while she finishes the interview with Aja, Kimber, and Shana.  Never mind that her set looks like an earthquake demolished it or anything.  The show must go on!



And while the rest of the Holograms talk to Lindsey on her ruined set, Rio and Jem get to talking about what happened, and how Rio is happy that he saved Jem, and Jem is happy that Rio saved her too, and they lean in for a big wet sloppy kiss...which Aja manages to walk in on!  Boy, Lindsey must be a quick interviewer!

Before we go on, this edition of "Jem" Trivia.  Lindsey is voiced by veteran voice actress Susan Blu, who would later become the voice director for "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles".  Susan Blu also does the voice for another blu...ahem...blue haired gal you might know as Stormer!

Of course, Aja and Shana can't help but poke fun at the situation that Rio happens to be in love with both Jem and Jerrica, but Jem is not amused.  This was the last thing that she wanted to have happen, and she is tired of making Rio believe that Jem and Jerrica are two different people.  She's tired of the deception and she just wants to tell him the truth.

My thoughts are if Rio is too stupid to notice that Jem and Jerrica are the same person, he doesn't deserve either of them...I mean her...you know what?  Screw this.  Let's move on from it.



Instead, let's pop in on the Starlight Girls where Mrs. Bailey has come to Jerrica to voice her concerns with Ashley.  Lately Ashley has been sneaking out and staying out all hours of the day, only coming back to the house to eat and sleep.  Given that Ashley has bought a Misfits T-shirt that she plans on wearing to the Battle of the Bands concert later that week, we can only guess that she's been getting her milk on with the Misfits. 



Jerrica makes a lame effort to try and talk to Ashley about what's going on, but completely abandons her when Kimber announces that a promoter from Las Vegas has arrived to talk to them.  Wow.  Jerrica Benton.  Foster mother of the year.  No wonder Ashley wants to hang around Pizzazz, Roxy, and Stormer all the time!



Anyway, the promoter - a Dirk Hayes - is your stereotypical snake oil salesman with a splash of Southern charm.  He has booked Jem and the Holograms for an exclusive gig at one of Vegas' many casinos.  There's just one catch.  Their warm up band happens to be The Misfits!  And naturally, the Holograms are upset by this revelation - especially since Hayes openly admits that he did it to see sparks fly!  I'm only speculating that had he been a real person, he'd be producing The Maury Povich Show.  But while most of the Holograms aren't too pleased, Shana makes a rather intelligent observation.  The Misfits certainly won't like being their warm-up act!



Seems as though Shana was right on the money!  Roxy even threatens to bash Hayes with a Misfits poster!  But Pizzazz is unfazed by the situation.  After all, they have their ace in the hole - a little girl named Ashley.  Yeah, because if Mrs. Bailey isn't concerned enough about Ashley staying out all day, she won't mind if Ashley goes to another city in a different state with three women she hardly knows!



So here it is.  Vegas, Baby!  It's a place with lots of neon lights, slot machines, and the home of a brand new game called "FOKER"!  I wonder if you can play it like Poker?

Inside the casino where they're set to play, Shana asks Jem what she's going to do, and it's our tie in to what I think could be the worst song that Jem and the Holograms have performed so far.



You want to know what I hate about "Deception"?  Well, for one, the song has a strange arrangement.  It seems as though it was recorded in like two minutes and the chorus and stanzas seem rushed.  But aside from that, Jem asks how long can she go on with this deception...but I think deep down, she secretly enjoys the attention.  That's what makes "Deception" so ironic.  She whines about keeping up the charade, but she does nothing to stop it. 



Meanwhile, Ashley arrives in Vegas with the rest of the Misfits, and I can hardly wait for Ashley to explain how she managed to pull this off.  Pizzazz, Roxy, and Stormer come up with a plan to sabotage Jem and the Holograms enough so that they miss the concert, and the Misfits will have all of the glory.  They plan to have Ashley distract one of the band members so that she will make them get lost.  Ashley is reluctant at first, but with coaxing from Pizzazz, Roxy, and Stormer, she agrees.

Ashley's target seems to be focused on Aja, and as Ashley runs through the casino lobby, Aja screams out "What are you doing in Las Vegas?".  I think a bigger question is "Why can't you care about the Starlight Girls to see whether all twelve of them are where they should be?" 



You know, in general I'm thinking that Aja is my favourite Hologram, but she certainly didn't act bright here.  For one, Aja just may as well have worn a huge sign around her neck saying "I'm a bad foster mother".  And two, Aja somehow seems to believe that Ashley would board a bus through its luggage hold, and thanks to Roxy and Stormer, Aja gets locked inside of the bus that is heading to New York City!  Certainly one way to make a statement.



A funny thing happens when Aja is locked in the cargo hold.  She remembers that she has a brain.  She pounds on the doors of the hold hard enough for passengers on the bus to suspect that something is wrong.  The driver stops, opens the cargo hold, and Aja makes her escape.  She still happens to be a long way from the casino and she has only minutes to make it back in time for the concert. 



A lucky break for Aja arrives in the form of a cowboy driving a motorcycle - and I have to admit that it might have been funnier had he appeared on the back of a horse, but whatever the case, Aja manages to make it fairly close to the casino before a parade blocks off access to the road.  It's up to Aja to make it on foot.

Back at the casino, the Misfits make it a point to Dirk Hayes that only three-quarters of the band bothered to show up, and while Jem, Kimber, and Shana are wondering what the heck happened to Aja, Hayes is about ready to cast aside the Holograms in favour of the Misfits.  But just as Pizzazz and her leopard skin dress is about to seal the deal...



...in runs Aja just in the nick of time!  That was too close.  Too close for their own good.  Hmmm...why does that remind me of a song?



Oh, yes.  It's time for another Jem and the Holograms single.  Unlike "Deception" though, I do think this song is much better.  You can certainly hear the passion in Britta Phillips' voice, that's for certain.



And you can certainly hear the anger in Pizzazz's voice when she learns that she failed to stop Jem and the Holograms again.  This time though, Pizzazz's temper tantrum is so intense that Ashley is a little bit taken aback that her newest friend is a little bit of a psychopath.  Ashley gets a little more upset when Pizzazz and Roxy take out their anger on her, and Ashley runs out of the room and hides.  But before anyone can go out to find her, Pizzazz and Roxy are speaking with Eric, who has another plan to get Jem and the Holograms out of the picture.  But considering that his plan involves the incredibly stupid Zipper, I can't see it being a very good one.  Interestingly enough, Stormer seems to be absent through this arc of the story.  I wonder where she went?



Uh-oh.  It seems as though Stormer has found Ashley's secret hiding spot behind a Jem and the Holograms display, and Ashley is terrified that Stormer is going to bite off her face.  But this is where the story gets complex.  Stormer's not like the other Misfits at all.  Sure, she likes to make mischief and may believe that winning is everything...but underneath all that scary make-up and blue hair is a softy!  Stormer makes it a point to calm Ashley down and even confesses that Pizzazz and Roxy scare her sometimes!  It's an interesting confession that makes one wonder how a nice gal like Stormer got hooked up with the Misfits in the first place, which I'm sure we'll investigate a little further as the series goes on.  But for now, Ashley and Stormer are the witnesses to a crime.



Zipper and a couple of his goons have decided to blow up a safe that is located inside of Hayes' office.  Inside is a secret stash of money.  Zipper's plan is to plant the money inside Jem's belongings so that she will be arrested for burglary and be in jail so that the Misfits will win the Battle of the Bands by default.

Now I know why this episode is called "Frame Up".



As predicted, after the concert is over, Hayes is alerted to the crime via a couple of security officers at the scene, and a search is ordered in every single room.  During the search, Pizzazz makes another pathetic attempt to hit on Rio, but Rio is too committed to Jerrica and Jem to even worry about taking on another love interest at this point in his life, leaving Pizzazz to stew in her own juices.



When Jem's belongings are searched, and the money is found, they waste no time in slapping the cuffs on Jem, and Jem is pleading for them to let her go, but it's gonna be pretty hard to do when the evidence is laid out.



Amusingly, Ashley decides to make an appearance, and she confirms that Jem is telling the truth about someone planting the money in Jem's personal belongings.  Even more amusingly, nobody ever questions Ashley on how she got to Vegas in the first place.  Ah, once again, the women of Starlight House prove how capable they are in raising a dozen kids...

Pizzazz and Roxy are furious at Ashley, and pretty much tell her that she's dead to them.  Furthermore, they tell Hayes that they should not believe the word of a preteen who ran away from home.



But maybe they'll believe the testimony of some random bag lady who appeared out of the middle of nowhere.  A bag lady that is doing a really bad job of disguising her voice.  A bag lady that seems to have the same makeup style as Stormer...

...well, I'll be damned.  The testimony of the bag lady did work, and Jem is free to go! 



And surprising nobody, the bag lady is revealed to be Stormer, who promises to keep what she did a secret with Ashley for good reason.  For one, Pizzazz and Roxy would likely kill Ashley if they found out...and for another, Pizzazz and Roxy would likely kill STORMER if they found out!



In the meantime, Eric is fed up with the fact that his flunky Zipper keeps screwing up, and Pizzazz is fed up that Eric isn't doing anything to get the band more success.  Of course, Eric shuts Pizzazz up in a hurry by calling her by her real name - Phyllis!  I tell you, the scream that she releases upon being called Phyllis is enough to make anyone's hair stand up on end!

But Eric has another plan.  He's hired a private investigator to keep tabs on Jem.  Malone has the power to unearth even the most carefully guarded secrets - and Eric has trusted him to find out Jem's real identity, thinking that if they find out who she is, it will give him and the Misfits enough ammo to destroy her.



Of course, Jem and the Holograms have no idea that this is even going on because they're at the fashion show for Danielle DuVoisin, who is about to launch her own fashion collection based on the style of Jem.  I still say it's kind of risky for Danielle to base an entire line around a group that's only been out for a few weeks, but hey...what do I know?  If the Olsen twins could design a fashion line at age 12, then I no longer question the fashion industry.

And all I can say about Danielle DuVoisin's line is that it's truly outrageous.



And, yes...it took us four episodes, but we finally have the full-length video for the theme song of this series.  The song's actually not bad, but I do NOT understand the video concept at all.  "Twilight In Paris", "I Got My Eye On You"...hell, I'll even give in and say that a horrible song like "Deception" has a concept.  This is like the end product of what might happen if Lisa Frank collaborated with a hippie on LSD for this video.  It makes no sense.

And once more we have an episode with no Misfits music.  Are the Misfits angry about it?  Hell yeah!



In fact, they're so angry that they decide to sabotage the fashion show by aiming a super heated spotlight over the sprinkler systems sending water pouring down all over their new clothes!



I'm just guessing based on this screenshot that they aren't very impressed.

Jem and the Holograms go to the Starlight Drive-In where they get out of their wet clothes and into some dry ones (of course, we don't see any of this), and have a powwow with Synergy before driving off again.



What none of them realize is that Malone has been spying on them, and he gets really suspicious when he sees the girls drive through a wall in their car.  He decides to investigate closer when the girls are far enough away and slides right through the wall coming face to face with Synergy.



He manages to pull out a retro style spy camera (seriously, it looks like something that I would have won by redeeming my Kool-Aid points), and takes a picture while Synergy goes haywire announcing that there's an intruder inside.  I expected a more powerful alarm system than a robot woman shouting INTRUDER over and over again, but then this isn't the first time this show has disappointed me.

But Malone is tired of Synergy's alerts and decides to do something about it.  So he picks up a chair, smashes the keyboards to smithereens, and Synergy blows up in a gigantic explosion.

The End?



Nah...just another TO BE CONTINUED.  But with Synergy seemingly destroyed, what will happen to Jem now?  Well, hang on to your JemStar earrings everyone...this arc will conclude next week.


Only 61 episodes to go...

Tuesday, April 12, 2016

April 12, 1916

Are you ready for another Tuesday Timeline?  I know I've said it before, but I absolutely love doing these.  For one, there's a brand new subject every single week I do these.  It could very well be considered like a Trivial Pursuit game, where each question could be from a variety of subjects.

I'll admit that this week's subject deals with the topic of literature, and that the subject of this blog is doing something that not a lot of people can brag about!  More on that later.

So, today's April 12.  Let's see what happened throughout history on this date.

1204 - The Crusaders of the Fourth Crusade breach the walls of Constantinople and enter the city

1606 - The Union Flag is adopted by Scottish and British ships

1831 - The Broughton Suspension Bridge in Manchester, England collapses from the weight of several soldiers marching across it!

1861 - The American Civil War begins

1864 - Several African-American soldiers are executed by Confederate forces following their surrender at Fort Pillow, Tennessee

1912 - Clara Barton, the founder of the American Red Cross, dies at the age of 90

1917 - Canadian forces successfully take Vimy Ridge from Germany during World War I

1927 - Chiang Kai-Shek orders the Communist Party of China members executed in Shanghai, China

1932 - Singer/ukelele player Tiny Tim (d. 1996) is born in Manhattan, New York

1934 - The U.S. Auto Life strike begins

1936 - Actor/singer Charles Napier (d. 2011) is born in Mt. Union, Kentucky

1945 - President Franklin D. Roosevelt dies at age 63 while still in office

1947 - Author Tom Clancy (d. 2013) is born in Baltimore, Maryland

1955 - Dr. Jonas Salk announces the news that a vaccination for polio has been created

1961 - Yuri Gagarin becomes the first human to travel into outer space

1980 - Terry Fox kicks off his "Marathon of Hope" for cancer research

1981 - The first launch of a Space Shuttle takes place - in this case, it was Space Shuttle Columbia

1989 - Social activist and founder of the Youth International Party Abbie Hoffman dies at the age of 52

1992 - Euro Disney opens to the public in Paris, France

1994 - The first commercial mass Usenet spam message is sent by Canter & Siegel

1999 - President Bill Clinton is cited for contempt of court for giving "intentionally false statements" in his sexual harassment civil lawsuit

2010 - A landslide causes a train derailment in Merano, Italy, killing nine

2014 - Valparaiso, Chile is devastated by a fire which kills sixteen people and destroys two thousand homes

And for celebrity birthdays, we have quite a few turning one year older.  Happy birthday to Wendy Savage, Dennis Banks, Herbie Hancock, Bill Bryden, Ed O'Neill, Alex Briley, Dan Lauria, David Letterman, Lois Reeves, Scott Turow, David Cassidy, Tom Noonan, Reuben Gant, Pat Travers, Andy Garcia, Vince Gill, J. Alexander, Will Sergeant, Magda Szubanski, Amy Ray, Tom O'Brien, Mellow Man Ace, Alicia Coppola, Toby Gad, Nicholas Brendon, Shannen Doherty, J. Scott Campbell, Claudia Jordan, Marley Shelton, Claire Danes, Jennifer Morrison, Paul Nicholls, Brian McFadden, James Alexandrou, Brooklyn Decker, Brendon Urie, Jessie James Decker, April Rose Pengilly, T. Mills, and Saoirse Ronan.

Oh my goodness, that is a lot of people celebrating a birthday today.  I hope I didn't forget anyone!

Oop...you know what?  I actually did.  But that's all right.  Because her birthday happens to be the same date that I've chosen for today's Tuesday Timeline.



And that date is...April 12, 1916!

Wait?  April 12, 1916?  That would make her one hundred years old today!  I'm telling you - it's extremely rare for someone to make it to birthday number one hundred.  The only two celebrities that I can think of that made it to 100 are George Burns and Bob Hope - and both of those men passed away not long after.

So, needless to say, this is a very special Tuesday Timeline.

And, to be honest with you, this person wrote a book that has a very special place in my heart.

It goes all the way back to second grade.  Unlike the previous year where I had a teacher who more or less tried to destroy me, this teacher was a lot more fun.  Her name was Miss Johnson, and I think that she recognized the abilities in me that no other teacher really wanted to touch.  While I was still segregated from some of the other kids in the class in some ways, it was only because I was placed in the enriched reading program along with seven other kids.  So, it wasn't like I was being frozen out of the class completely.

Anyway, back to the story...I remember in second grade, while the majority of the class read from primers that were suitable for second grade reading, the eight of us were given an independent study assignment for class where we read a full-length novel and we did a bunch of activities based on that book.



The book that was chosen for us was the book "The Mouse and the Motorcycle".  And as you may well know, the author of the book is Beverly Cleary - who turns 100 years old today!

There was just something so special about that book.  I absolutely love it to this day - and it seems hard to believe, but it was over fifty years ago that the book first hit store shelves.  Who knew that a little mouse named Ralph and his toy motorcycle would have such an impact on me?

I guess part of the reason why I could relate with this book was because I could relate to the main character so much.  No, I am not a rodent covered with fur that can ride a motorcycle - but I was a kid who had trouble fitting in because he felt as though he were secretly judged by everyone else.  It was bad enough that Ralph was warned by his mother not to trust a human, but when Ralph did befriend a little boy named Keith, Keith had to keep his friendship with Ralph a secret, for he didn't want his own parents to know that he was socializing with a mouse.  In a way, the story is a frustrating one, for you have a forbidden friendship between boy and rodent, and how both of them want to stay friends forever even though the world is against them.

I have to wonder if maybe "The Mouse and the Motorcycle" was a clever way to display the time period of the day.  After all, this book was written right around the time of the Civil Rights Movement and the Feminist Movement.  It was definitely a period of social change, and I think that had I though of it, it would have made an interesting project.

Then again, in second grade, I was seven.  That project was a little TOO ambitious even for me.  But I do remember doing some writing assignments on the book, and even had the opportunity to design what Ralph's house would look like using nothing but stickers.  That was such a fun project!  I wish I still had it.

The point is that "The Mouse and the Motorcycle" was really the first novel I remember wanting to read and re-read over and over again, and I think that Beverly Cleary's writing was a huge part of it.  She didn't try to dumb down the novel for a specific audience...rather she told a story in such a way that every single person could understand what she was trying to illustrate.

And, she wrote so much more than that one book.  In her century on this planet, it is estimated that Beverly Cleary has written no less than 44 novels - almost all of them being huge successes with children.



Perhaps you might have read a few of the books starring the precocious Ramona Quimby - a little girl that very well could have been an unofficial mascot for Cleary's excellent body of work.  And, I certainly do remember reading all about Ramona, her sister Beezus, and her life and times of growing up in your typical nuclear family in an average neighbourhood with an overactive imagination that would make any eight-year-old proud.  Also featured in these books is another Cleary character - Henry Huggins - who happens to be the star of Cleary's first novel, published all the way back in 1950!



Or if you were a little bit older, you might have been enthralled by the novel "Fifteen", a story about falling in love for the very first time and the trials and tribulations of what it might be like to go out on dates with a steady boyfriend.  It's amazing how that book was written six decades ago and yet still be relevant to teenagers today.

Really, any of the Beverly Cleary library is worth a look.  Of course, I'm partial to "The Mouse and the Motorcyle", but any of the Beverly Cleary books are definitely worth checking out.

In fact, I issue you a challenge.  In celebration of Beverly Cleary's 100th birthday, I want you to go to the library or download a copy of any of her books on your Kindle or iPad, and sit down and read it.  I think that would be a fantastic way to celebrate the life of one of the world's most beloved children's authors.



Happy 100th birthday, Beverly Cleary!

Friday, April 08, 2016

Jem Reviewed: Episode 3 - Kimber's Rebellion

Last week on Jem: Reviewed, we watched Starlight House go up in flames.  Then we watched the mansion that Jerrica and the others move into get blown up.  And now thanks to the Misfits, Jem is about to crash into a giant oil tanker!  Wow, is it just me, or was Jem really having a bad day?



Let's continue the story with Episode 3:  Kimber's Rebellion.  Gee, I wonder who the main focus of this episode is?

Well, we won't know for sure because the Countess Danielle DuVoisin's yacht is about ready to re-enact the sinking of the Titanic!  Whatever will they do?



What?  You wouldn't think that one of the richest women in the world wouldn't have a crew onboard who know how to steer a boat?  How silly you are!  The ship's captain and several other crew members find a way into the control room and violently jerk the wheel in an effort to steer the ship off course from the oil tanker's path.  Of course, this wrecks the party inside sending guests sliding into the walls like they did in the 1972 film "The Poseidon Adventure", but eh, what's a little collateral damage between friends?



The sharp turns nearly causes Jem to fly over the side of the yacht, but Rio - who seemingly has the muscles of Arnold Schwarzenegger underneath that lanky exterior - manages to hold onto her as the ship escapes harm's way.



It's here that Jem tries to kiss Rio for saving her life, but Rio rebuffs her, saying that he can't fall in love with her because he's in love with Jerrica.  Oh, please don't tell me this goes on the rest of the series...please don't.



Naturally Jem and Rio are interrupted by the rest of the Holograms who go out on the deck to check on the waterlogged couple.  While this is going on, the Misfits pull up in a motorboat to egg on the band before they speed off gorging their faces with the food they stole while singing "Makin' Mischief".

But who cares about the fact that they almost died and the people in charge are getting away with it?  This is Jem and the Holograms, not "Miami Vice"!  They have a music video to film!  And what better place to film it than in beautiful Paris, Ontario Texas France!  The city of lights! 

Which leads to the question...if the Holograms are going to Paris with Anthony Julien, who is looking after the Starlight Girls?  I suppose Mrs. Bailey would be the logical choice, but after trying to take care of twelve girls between the ages of 8 and 14, I'm surprised she hasn't lost her mind!

Especially with Ashley as part of your crew.

True to her word though, Ashley proudly holds up the thirty bucks she promised she'd get for the Honor Jar.  She conveniently leaves out the fact that she got it by letting three bad girls onto the property that may or may not have been responsible for destroying a portion of their new home, but damn it, she earned that money!



But Little Miss Lela - the warden of the girls - won't accept the money until Ashley explains how she earned the money saying that how she earned it is just as important as the money itself, and blah blah blah.  Honestly, I don't blame Ashley for going off on Lela and the rest of the girls.  It's like she's the outsider trying to do everything to fit in, but nobody else will let her have a shot.  And while I don't condone Ashley trying to steal money from the jar in the first place, I also don't condone making it so hard to fit into a new place that they make someone lash out with negativity either.  It's just one of the little things like how Ashley is treated by the other girls that makes this episode not that enjoyable.



And, where are Jem and the others when this is going on?  Rehearsing for their new song?  Look, I get that you're trying to win the contest so that you can keep the house that the wimpy Howard Sands is letting you stay in temporarily because he's too afraid to say no to Pizzazz.  But seriously, you have a crisis with your foster girls!  I think that has to be a top priority too!



We also pop in on The Misfits laying down demo tracks for their album as well - and enjoy it while you can because this episode has no Misfits music whatsoever.  Major bummer, man.  But we do learn one important secret from Eric when Pizzazz starts whining about whatever it is that diva rock singers whine about.  He's been embezzling funds from Starlight Music since the death of Jerrica and Kimber's father to promote the Misfits!  Whoa!  Now that's a bombshell.  I wonder if this will have any impact on future episodes...



Anyway, while we don't hear any Misfits music in this episode, we will see more of Eric's idiotic henchman, Zipper, who once again is paid by Eric to sabotage Jem's video shoot.  At the rate we're going, I half expect Zipper to knock over the Eiffel Tower with a scissor lift, but let's see how this plays out.



Before you know it, we're live in Paris and Anthony Julien is showing Jem the choreography for the video shoot.  In the background, Kimber is seething, and we soon learn why.  Seems like little sister Kimber is jealous of big sister Jerrica/Jem getting all of the attention and she becomes so angry that she takes a walk to cool down, nearly getting abducted by Zipper in the process.



Rio manages to get to Kimber before this happens and Rio wonders what is up with her.  In Kimber's anger, she almost reveals that Jem is really Jerrica, but Aja and Shana stop her before she gets the chance, with both of them reminding her that it is Jerrica's secret to tell, not hers.  Oh, sweet Jesus, at this rate, it'll be at the old folks home before the secret is revealed.



Sigh...you know what, let's just watch the video.



Okay, two things about "Twilight In Paris".  First, this video would be an absolutely brilliant concept if this were filmed with real people.  For an animated cartoon, this video is visually stunning.  Second, I kept thinking that Jem was singing "I visit Walmart, but I'm lost in a dream", when she's actually singing about Montmartre.  Silly, right?  As if Jem'd ever be caught inside of a Walmart!  Though, seeing how bad the fashion is, she might make it on that People of Walmart website one of these days.



On the final shot of the video, when the girls are posing in front of a building, Zipper is taking a crowbar to one of the gargoyle statues up above.  See, Zipper thinks that the only way to take care of the video shoot is to crush Jem and the Holograms to death.  Seriously, where the hell did Eric find this guy?  The Serial Killer Store?



Fortunately in addition to murder plots, Zipper is horrible at physics, because his gargoyle misses the girls and Rio pushes them out of the way before they become Jem and the Pancakes.  Aja gets a glimpse of Zipper as he's escaping, but he's too fast and up too high for them to do anything about it. 



Back in California (where Jem and the Holograms live), Ashley decides that if the Starlight Girls won't want her, she'll be better off as a Misfit, and somehow she finds out where the Misfits hang out even though there were no smartphones, GPS's or even Google Maps back in 1985.  See, Ashley's no moron.  She's very street smart.  And upon hearing that Ashley has decided to leave the Starlight Girls behind, Pizzazz, Roxy, and Stormer happily welcome her aboard, toasting her with a round of...milk?  Well, I suppose Ashley is underage.  And milk does a body good.  And Misfits with milk moustaches are kind of sexy.  But, for Ashley to truly show that she is a Misfit at heart, she'll have to prove herself. 

While Ashley is learning how to do this, Jem and the Holograms are arriving back home where the Countess is talking about how she's come up with a new line of Jem fashions.  Of course, Kimber angrily pouts that the Holograms are part of the band too, and Danielle insists that all of them will be a part of the new fashion line.  Once again, Kimber is seething.



And when they start to drive home, they notice that The Misfits (and Ashley) have plastered Misfits posters all over the place, while tearing down and destroying all Jem memorabilia.  There's no way they'll stand for this, and they start to sing a very powerful song about standing up for themselves...



...or, they'll sing a light fluffy pop song called "Getting Down To Business".  Whatever the case, Kimber's fury now is directed towards the Misfits, and she arranges a meeting with Eric Raymond at Starlight Music to tell him a thing or two.



Of course, Eric - who worked with Jerrica and Kimber's dad for years - knows exactly what buttons to push.  And Eric tells Kimber that Jem is taking over all the attention and that she should consider breaking out on her own if she ever wants to get noticed.



No sooner do Jerrica and the others arrive home from putting up posters of their own that they get a call from Lindsey Pearce.  She has an opening on her video show and she wants to know if Jem would be interested in giving an interview that day to promote the Battle of the Bands contest and to introduce themselves to their new fans.  There's just one catch.  Jem is the only one they want to interview.  Gee, I wonder how that will resonate with Kimber?



Not well.

Yep.  Kimber proves how immature she is by quitting the band, stealing the Jem car and speeding off the mansion property, leaving Jerrica, Aja, and Shana in shock.  And Jerrica quickly realizes that even though Kimber is being a brat, she's her brat, and she wants to find a way to convince Kimber to come back to the band so that they can take down the Misfits and be as relevant as Madonna one day.

Or, at the very least, take down the Misfits.



The first thing Jerrica does is call Lindsey back and demand that she features all of the band, which Lindsey doesn't seem to mind.  I get the feeling that if Lindsey likes someone, she'll bend over backwards to please them.  Then Jerrica comes up with the idea to go on the air of Kimber's favourite radio station to send her a message, hoping she'll listen to it.



Of course, if Jerrica Benton were to go barging into a radio station and demand that she be heard, she'd be escorted out of the building by a couple of security guards.  But as Jem...well, let's face it.  She's not exactly well known and in all honesty she should get the same treatment.  But since this is a cartoon, anything goes, and Jem manages to record her message to Kimber, telling her how much they love her even though her jealousy is totally ridiculous and outrageous.

(Okay, I made that last part up.)



Whatever the case, the message came through and Kimber rejoins the band with ten minutes to spare.



Of course, on the way to the television studio where Lindsey films her show, Rio once again has a talk with Jerrica and questions his feelings for her and Jem and honestly at this point I am too distracted by that thing that Jerrica is wearing on her head to care.  Bad 80s fashion alert!



Of course, Jem and the Holograms being on Lindsey's show has caught the attention of everyone in the area, and when the Misfits get wind of it, they make it a mission to hijack the show and take over.  But in order to do that, they need to give a special mission to the newest Misfit groupie.

Mind you, all Ashley does is insult and kick the security guard, but hey...she's 12.  She hasn't had the time to plot a scheme with Inspector Gadget technology yet. 

Meanwhile, Jerrica tells Synergy it's showtime, and we get the third of three Jem and the Holograms songs featured in this episode.



Wow.  This is a first.  A Jem and the Holograms song that I really enjoy.  There's something sultry about "I've Got My Eye On You", and Britta Phillips, who does all the singing for Jem really delivers on this track.  I don't even care that Rio's in this video at all.



And, I suppose this is a good time to produce some "Jem" Trivia here.  It's probably universally known in the Jem world, but just as Jem has two different personalities, she also has two different voice actors.  I mentioned that Jem's singing voice is done by Britta Phillips, but her speaking voice is delivered by Samantha Newark - who was in her late teens when she was cast as Jem!  Impressive!  And who knew there was such a thing as a JemCon?!?  The things you learn doing research for a blog, eh?

The band sits down for their interview just as Ashley is distracting the security guard, and Pizzazz, Roxy, and Stormer manage to sneak onto the set.  I'd have thought that MTV would have had better security in place than one chubby guy, but whatever.  We can't have a cartoon without conflict.



And certainly the Misfits like to stir it up.  Pizzazz interrupts Jem and Lindsey to talk about how wonderful they are, while Roxy and Stormer exert such force to sit on Lindsey's couch that poor Kimber gets flung on the floor.  Jem responds with as much class as she can muster and insults Pizzazz without flat out calling her a mealy mouthed bitch who takes her fashion cues from Wilma Flintstone.  Because let's face it.  That's what Jem's really thinking.

At this point Lindsey is fed up with them all and cuts to a commercial.  During the break, Lindsey informs the Misfits that any chance of them having an interview is now over and instructs security to throw them off her set immediately.



The Misfits reluctantly oblige, though Pizzazz actually backhands Lindsey on her way out!  Yeah, I'm sure that'll get your ban from her show lifted!



Oh, and I should mention that we're going to be introduced to one reason why Pizzazz can't stand Jem or Jerrica.  Seems as though she has a little crush on Rio, and she basically tries to throw herself over him as he escorts her out of the building.  But Rio essentially tells Pizzazz to go to hell, so Pizzazz shoves him down right into the path of some electronic equipment.  The wall of electronics collapses into another, and we have a domino effect of expensive equipment being destroyed.



And poor Jem is right in the middle of the disaster as the dreaded TO BE CONTINUED flashes across the screen.

What happens next?  Will Jem be crushed, zapped, fried, or rescued by Rio?  (Spoiler alert:  One of these actually happens).  How long is Jem/Jerrica expected to use deception with Rio?  What happens when Ashley gets caught up in one of the Misfits' evil plots?  And what happens when someone gets a little too close to Synergy?

You'll have to wait until next week.  But one last thing...was it just me, or was Kimber's actual rebellious streak kind of lame?  I mean, if Kimber really wanted to rebel, she would have teamed up with one of the Misfits and released a duet album with them.  But come on...what are the odds of THAT happening?