Every
single year that has existed in the modern world has at least one fad attached
to it.
In
1976, for example, everyone was all about the American bicentennial, and people
flaunted red, white, and blue fashions to celebrate it. In 1986, Claymation seemed to dominate film
and television. In 1996, everyone
danced to the Macarena, and it seems as though in 2016, everyone's dying their
hair in neon colours, pastel colours...colours that are basically not found in
nature.
But
what was the biggest fad of 2011?
That's a tough one.
Truth
be told...I can't really decide on just one.
So,
in the spirit of everything five years old being new once more, let's take a
look back at some of the crazy fads that took place in 2011. Some of them have withstood the test of
time, while others probably should have been tossed away like 2011 calendars on
the first day of January 2012.
Let's
begin.
SKINNY JEANS
Hey,
remember back in 2011 when clothing manufacturers believed that everyone's legs
were so unique and special that there should be jeans that show them off? Enter the creation of the skinny jean. A pair of jeans that are structured to look
like leggings or yoga pants. On one
hand, the skinny jeans could really accentuate certain assets of a body. On the other, I can't imagine how some
people could squeeze into them in the first place. I have nothing against slim-cut trousers, but I should not be
able to see what denomination of coins you have in your pockets. And all that chafing from denim rubbing
against your thighs? Pass.
We
won't discuss skinny jeans for men.
That's almost as bad as bringing back the Speedo.
PLANKING
You
know, of all the fads of 2011 that came out, one I can't understand was the
obsession with planking. I mean, I
understood the Ice Bucket Challenge because it was raising awareness for
ALS. But the only thing that planking
raised awareness for was...well...YouTube channels. Not exactly the same thing.
Basically, planking is lying on top of an object, or suspending yourself
across two objects in a pose that basically simulates a dead person in rigor
mortis. It sounds just as redundant as
I think I described it.
TEBOWING
In
a related note, remember football player Tim Tebow? The guy who sold cell phones for T-Mobile and refused to strip
down to his Jockeys in between games?
And you know how he would do his famous Tim Tebow pose which sort of
resembled him kneeling down and praying?
I have no issue with Tebow doing that pose. It's his own thing, and he's entitled to doing whatever he wants
on the field. I do have an issue with
everyone else trying to mimic the Tebow pose.
But then again, I don't understand people jumping on bandwagons anyway -
especially when it comes to miming a football player's unique stance. It just didn't work.
FACEBOOK STATUS UPDATES FOR CANCER
AWARENESS
Remember
that one week on Facebook, every single woman on your Friends list posted
random colours on their status updates?
Red. White. Lavender.
Fuchsia. Zebra Print. And all of us were wondering what the heck
was going on. Turns out it was a game
in which women listed the colour of their underwear to raise awareness for
breast cancer. You want to know what I
think would be a great way to raise awareness?
DONATE MONEY TO A BREAST CANCER AWARENESS CHARITY
INSTEAD OF SHARING THE COLOUR OF YOUR UNMENTIONABLES ON SOCIAL MEDIA! Seriously, this sort of stuff happened all throughout 2011, and
it became really annoying. I am so glad
that we've evolved since then.
Well,
at least, we no longer do games like that.
Changing the colour of our profile pics doesn't annoy me nearly as much.
Grey.
CAKE POPS
Now,
one might argue that the cake pop existed long before 2011. And I would probably accept that as being
the truth. But this hybrid of a cupcake
and lollipop became a 2011 food tradition that is still enjoyed in 2016. I'll be the first to admit that this is one
food fad that I'm glad has stuck around.
Seriously, with cake pops, there's less of a burden to make them perfect
as you would a triple layer cake. And
there are endless possibilities for creativity as well.
ONE DIRECTION
It
seems interesting to talk about this band now, given that in 2016 they seem to
have called it quits for now. But it
was five years ago that the band - which competed on and came in third place on
the British talent search show "The X Factor" - released their very
first album. And what progressed
afterwards was reminiscent of the impact that the New Kids on the Block had on
girls all over the world circa 1990. As
the band continued to release hit after hit, girls wore One Direction T-shirts,
One Direction jewelry, One Direction socks...basically they became walking
billboards for One Direction. It's hard
to argue that One Direction went one direction in 2011...up, up, way up.
So,
what do you think? Have any more fads
to add to this list? What do you
remember most about 2011?
Welcome
to another Tuesday Timelineadventure! This will be a bit of a break from the
"everything five years old is new again" theme, as nothing exciting
happened on May 10, 2011...at least not that I could find, anyway.
But,
a lot of things did happen on May 10 throughout history...have a look and see
what I mean!
70 - The Siege of Jerusalem
takes place
1534 - Jacques Cartier visits the area that would become
the Canadian province of Newfoundland
1773 - The Parliament of Great Britain passes the Tea Act
1774 - Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette are crowned King
and Queen of France
1775 - Fort Ticonderoga is captured by Colonial militia
lead by Benedict Arnold and Ethan Allen
1837 - The Panic of 1837; Banks in New York City begin
to collapse and unemployment skyrockets
1865 - Jefferson Davis is captured by American troops in
Georgia on the same day that William Quantrill is mortally wounded by Union
soldiers in Kentucky
1872 - Victoria Woodhull becomes the first woman to be
nominated for the United States presidency
1893 - The Supreme Court of the United States rules that
a tomato is not a fruit, but a vegetable, under the Tariff Act of 1883
1899 - Actor/dancer/singer Fred Astaire (d. 1987) is
born in Omaha, Nebraska
1908 - Mother's Day is observed for the first time in
the United States
1922 - Actress Nancy Walker (d. 1992) is born in
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
1924 - J. Edgar Hoover is appointed the first director
of the FBI, remaining in the position for forty-eight years until his death
1940 - Germany launches full on attacks during World War
II, invading Belgium, the Netherlands, and Luxembourg - Winston Churchill
becomes the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom
1954 - Bill Haley & His Comets release "Rock
Around the Clock" - the first rock and roll single to top the American
music charts
1957 - "The Sex Pistols" frontman Sid Vicious
(d. 1979) is born in Lewisham, London, England
1970 - Bobby Orr scores "The Goal" to win the
Stanley Cup for the Boston Bruins
1977 - Actress Joan Crawford passes away in New York
City
1994 - Four years after his release from prison, Nelson
Mandela is inaugurated as the first black president of South Africa
1999 - Poet and illustrator Shel Silverstein dies at the
age of 68
2005 - Vladimir Arutyunian attempts to kill President
George W. Bush by throwing a live grenade at him while making a speech in the
nation of Georgia - luckily for Bush, the grenade does not detonate
2013 - One World Trade Center officially becomes the
tallest building in the Western Hemisphere - twelve years after the original
World Trade Center was destroyed in 2001
And
for celebrity birthdays, we have the following famous faces blowing out candles
today; Carl Douglas, David Clennon, Jim Abrahams, Donovan, Graham Gouldman, Dave Mason, Caroline B. Cooney, Meg Foster, Miuccia Prada, Rick Santorum, Victoria Rowell, Bono,
Linda Evangelista, Young MC, Craig Mack, Helio Castroneves, Kenan Thompson, Odette Annable, and Lindsey Shaw.
So,
since we've already established that 2011 is NOT the year we'll be visiting
this week, let's see what year we WILL be looking at.
May 10, 1975. Before I was born, but let's go with it. On television, it was the year that
"All In The Family", "Good Times", "Happy Days",
and "M*A*S*H" were some of the top shows on television.
And
thanks to the power of DVD technology and online channels like Netflix, you can
watch these shows over and over again!
Heck, if you have one of those digital video recorders or Tivo, you can
record these shows from classic sitcom channels and watch them at your disposal
now!
Of
course, when I was a kid, none of that stuff even existed. But we did have those old fashioned
machines...I believe they were called VCR's back in the day. While VCR's were great back in the day - and
spawned a video store explosion during the 1980s and 1990s - they weren't
exactly foolproof. I can't remember the
number of VHS tapes I pitched in the garbage because my VCR ate them. That being said, it was the only way you
could watch the newest episodes of "Dallas", "Dynasty",
"Miami Vice" and "The A-Team" if you had to work during the
times that they were on. Just set the
timer on the VCR, have it record onto a tape, and voila!
Now,
VCR's and VHS tapes have always been around since I was born. Though my family didn't get their first VCR
until 1988, I do remember seeing video stores in my town at least three years
prior to that - though admittedly anything before 1985 is a little hazy to me.
But...did
you know that there was a predecessor to the VHS tape? A device that some would consider better
quality than the VCR? Something that
first made its appearance in Japan exactly 41 years ago today?
Ladies
and gentlemen...I present to you - The Betamax player!
The
technology behind Betamax was brought to the world by Sony - the same company
that brought us the Walkman and the PlayStation. Released in Japan on May 10, 1975, it wouldn't be released in
North America until November of the same year.
And interestingly enough, the first Betamax recorders were sold with a
nineteen-inch colour monitor. It was
kind of similar to the televisions with the built-in VCR's or DVD players.
And
the reason why the product was named the Betamax? Well, in Japanese, the word beta was used as a way to describe
the signals that were recorded onto the tape - and the fact that when the tape
ran through the transport, it kind of looked like the Greek letter Beta kind of
gave a little bit more insight towards the naming of the product. And Max was simply an add on to describe the
product's greatness.
And
many people will argue that the Betamax technology was better than VHS
tapes. Although I've never used a
Betamax player, I have heard from others that say that the picture and sound
quality surpassed the VHS tape quality, and that in general, the Beta tapes
were much more durable and lasted longer than VHS tapes.
So,
why did the Betamax flop, and the VCR thrive?
Well,
there were quite a few reasons.
One
factor could have been cost of manufacturing, which lead to the cost of the
products themselves. When JVC began
releasing VCR's in Japan in 1976, and RCA began selling them in the United
States in 1977, they were manufactured at a much cheaper cost than Sony was
manufacturing the Betamax. As a result,
the price of a VCR was significantly less than the price of a Betamax.
(Though,
keep in mind that a VCR in 1977 was worth thousands of dollars as opposed to
the 40 dollars or so you'd pay for one today.)
Ultimately
though, the main reason why the Beta bombed was due to one major factor that
determined whether a person would go Beta or go VHS.
Time. Specifically the time that was allowed on a
standard tape.
Now,
having recorded several programs and movies on VHS cassettes in my lifetime, I
know all about how VHS tapes work. Depending
on whether you have the setting on SP, LP, or SLP, VHS tapes could run from 2
hours of recording time to 6 hours. Or,
if you had one of those extended tapes, you could make it an 8 hour long tape. Of course, the SP length meant crisper,
clearer images and sharper sound quality, but you only had two hours to work
with. On the other hand, you could make
a 6 hour tape, but have poor sound quality and not as clear images.
(I
usually just set it to four hours. It
was the best compromise, and you could put a movie, as well as have room for
four episodes of The Simpsons...well, if you pause it during commercial breaks,
anyway.)
Now,
comparing the length of time on a VHS tape to a Betamax tape, and well...it
sucked.
On
a standard Betamax tape, at least when they first came out in Japan, Sony made
the decision to limit the length of time to just ONE hour of recording
time. That wouldn't even tape a full
movie that aired on television. Whereas
JVC marketed their VHS cassettes with two hour tapes, thus allowing people to
record full-length features on the tapes.
And although Sony would start manufacturing Beta tapes with longer
recording times in the 1980s, by then the VCR had the market cornered, and Sony
simply couldn't catch up. By 1980
alone, 60% of the North American market had embraced the VCR, and by 1988, Sony
accepted defeat and began manufacturing their own VCR's.
Here's
one final and sad footnote. Although
VHS tapes overtook Betamax tapes in the 1980s, Beta tapes continued to be
manufactured long after Betamax recorders ceased production. You could still buy brand new Beta tapes as
late as 2015 in some remote stores!
Sadly, in late 2015, Sony made the decision to cease all production of
Beta tapes, and in early 2016, the last Beta was made.
Another
piece of technology joining the electronics graveyard.
I consider myself to have a love/hate relationship with the Smurfs.
When I was a kid, I do remember watching the cartoon on
television. It was kind of hard to
avoid, given that it was a Saturday Morning mainstay for close to a
decade. But, leave it to NBC to keep
cartoons and kids shows on long past their expiration date. After all, "Alvin and the
Chipmunks" stayed on the air for seven years, and "Saved By The
Bell" managed a total of twelve if you factor in the Miss Bliss year and
the New Class years.
But while I did like the cartoon, I hated the fact that the Smurf
toys were always so hard to find - and were way overpriced for what they
were. At least, it seemed like that to
me anyway. I always liked Papa Smurf
and always wanted a Papa Smurf doll, as he was the only Smurf that had a beard,
and he was the only Smurf that wore red.
And being a non-conformist at heart, I absolutely wanted Papa
Smurf. Unfortunately, everyone else
wanted him too. It was one of the several
toys that I never owned in my youth, right alongside the Easy-Bake Oven, the
board game "Pay Day", and the Speak and Spell.
(Though, the last one would have been hardly used as I already knew
how to spell very well...I just thought it looked cool.)
Now, the Smurfs television show debuted in 1981 - and obviously I
don't remember the earliest episodes as I was a few months old when they made
their network television debut. But
thirty years later, in 2011, the Smurfs made the leap onto the big screen in
their first three dimensional appearance.
And, much like the television show, it too received mixed reviews.
Die hard Smurfs fans would have probably loved the film, and it
must have been a success as it spawned a sequel as well as a couple of holiday
themed television specials. Sure
enough, it was the ninth highest grossing film of 2011. But some people would also tell you that the
film was stupid, made no sense, and completely destroyed any credibility that
the Smurfs might have had.
I don't know if I would go quite THAT far, but I do think that
there were some parts of the film that could have been better.
Interestingly enough, one of those things doesn't include changing
the cast around. For what it was worth,
the Smurfs themselves had a fantastic group of actors who near mimicked the
original cartoon voices. Jonathan
Winters was perfect as Papa Smurf - and I have to wonder who they would get to
play Papa Smurf if any more sequels were made, as Winters passed away in 2013. Katy Perry was quite perfect as
Smurfette. Fred Armisen made a
wonderful Brainy Smurf. Really, I have
no issues with the voice cast at all.
The human cast itself wasn't too bad either. I mean feasibly speaking, adding Jayma Mays
and Neil Patrick Harris in a film was a good idea on paper, and to be fair to
both of them, they really did their best.
And, I also have to give props to Hank Azaria for his role of
Gargamel. I don't know who the make-up
artists were that worked on him, but they did a fantastic job transforming
Gargamel from cartoon to human. And,
here's an interesting piece of trivia for you.
Did you know that Azaria shaved his head during the filming of this
movie so that he could make the make-up applications go quicker? And that he changed into his Gargamel
costume at least fifty times during the whole shoot? I have to say, that is a LOT of time in a make-up chair!
I also must say that even the film premiere was quite
creative. For one, the film premiered
on June 16, 2011 in a small Spanish village named Juzcar, and in preparation
for the event, all of the buildings in the village - including the town's
church - were painted bright blue.
Don't believe me? Have a
look! It's quite a change, isn't
it? And as of May 2016, the buildings
still remain blue! Apparently the
citizens of the town voted to keep the colour after it was noted that many
tourists would come by to see the blue buildings. In 2012 alone, the rate of tourists increased from 300 in early
2011 to almost 80,000 the following year!
The only thing that I wish could have been better about the film
was the actual plot itself.
Suffice to say, I think the movie would have worked better had they
kept the classic cartoon style and not had this side plot of the Smurfs getting
sucked into a vortex that brought them to New York City in 2011. I won't go into too much detail there, but
the whole plot was just too unbelievable.
Although I suppose had I been six when this movie came out and not
thirty, I'd probably have liked it a lot more.
Or maybe I'm still bitter
that I never got a Papa Smurf.
I
just want to start off today by wishing all of the moms out there a very happy
Mother's Day! I hope you're getting
spoiled by your children, grandchildren, and if it applies, great
grandchildren!
And,
since this month I'll be featuring things that were brand new five years ago, I
thought that I would try to make this entry mother themed.
The
key word is TRY.
And
I failed. Big time.
While
a lot of interesting music themed things happened in 2011, none of them really
did much to celebrate mothers. So, I'll
have to try and come up with another angle.
Now,
I'm quite positive that when it comes to people who were born around the same
time that I was, their mothers likely listened to a lot of late 1970s
progressive rock, old fashioned rock, or maybe even the punk scene.
Not
mine! Mine listened to Emmylou Harris,
Glen Campbell, and the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack. Now THAT's a combo!
I
can however tell you that one rock song my mom likes is Cheap Trick's "I
Want You To Want Me". Released in
September 1977, the single rocketed up the charts very quickly and many people
consider the single to be the band's signature hit. I know that I definitely like the song, and it was on my way to
work one morning that a local radio station was playing it and it reminded me
of an incident that involved the band five years ago while they were performing
that very song.
Unfortunately,
it was a moment that the band themselves would rather forget.
The
date was July 17, 2011. The place was
the Bluesfest festival in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. And, before I continue with this discussion, I want to tell you
all about what Bluesfest is. It will
familiarize yourselves with the festival as you read on.
Bluesfest
was started in Ottawa in 1994, and at first, the only headline entertainer to
appear was Clarence Clemmons of Bruce Springsteen's E Street Band. But over the next twenty-two years, the
festival has grown tremendously and has attracted lots of big named talent. I don't know if you could quite call it the
Coachella of the Great White North, but it certainly is a festival that is
worth attending at least once.
And
aside from the great talent that amalgamates to Canada's capital city every
July, the program has also implemented the "Blues in the Schools"
program, which assigns musicians to teach local school children how to play
music as well as instructing them about the history of modern music. I think it's a fantastic program, especially
in a period where arts and music programs seem to be getting cut.
Now
that you know what Bluesfest is, we can continue.
On
July 17, 2011, Cheap Trick was slated to perform at Bluesfest on stage in front
of a large crowd of people. And at
first, it seemed as though nothing of note would happen. Certainly, the weather at that time was
overcast, but nothing to really consider dangerous...at least not when the band
began to perform anyway.
Twenty
minutes into Cheap Trick's set, the band was right in the middle of playing the
signature hit that I previously talked about earlier. At this time, a sudden storm was approaching the main stage - so
sudden that it went from calm to torrential downpour and strong winds in a
flash. Trust me, in Canada, this is
quite common during the summer months.
When I did the Relay for Life back in 2014, we had a sudden thunderstorm
blow in as we were just getting ready to start the event and the storm delayed
us for almost half an hour! And then
the storm ended as quickly as it began!
It's crazy how summer storms can get.
Well,
in Ottawa, a similar thing happened.
The storm went away as quickly as it came. But as the storm hit the stage, the unexpected happened.
The
wind shook the stage violently as the band wrapped up their performance of
"I Want You To Want Me", and before long, the roof of the stage
started to collapse! Luckily for Cheap
Trick, the band had managed to get off the stage before the structure
collapsed. But at least three people
were injured in the melee, and the stage collapse ultimately put an end to the
Bluesfest fun for the rest of the night.
But
how could such a thing happen?
Well,
as I explained before, summer storms in Canada are quite unpredictable. Sometimes they can be as insignificant as a
thunderclap, while other times they can spawn serious tornadoes. In this case, it was the perfect storm
(pardon the pun) for near disaster.
And
the stage itself was a rental, but it had been inspected for safety quite
regularly and was considered structurally sound at the time of the concert -
but again, I'm sure nobody really expected a sudden storm to come out of
nowhere and turn the stage into a bunch of oversized pick-up sticks either.
Either
way, it was definitely a freak accident - and luckily, nobody was killed. That in itself was a miracle.
Still...five years since that happened. Crazy how time flies!
Hey,
remember that time back in 2011 when the world ended? Wasn't that such a crazy time?
I mean, it started with an earthquake, birds, snakes, and aeroplanes,
but Lenny Bruce wasn't afraid?
No,
wait...that was an R.E.M. song.
But
you remember the end of the world, don't you?
I mean, we had mountains collapsing into the sea, skyscrapers crashing
down in the streets, sun spots toasting parts of Europe, and melting glaciers
sent Canada and half of the United States underwater. That was like the worst day ever. I still have a fear of swimming in ice water because of it.
What's
that? You don't remember any of those
things? Actually, come to think of it,
neither do I.
BECAUSE
NONE OF THAT HAPPENED AT ALL.
Do
you remember what you were doing on May 21, 2011? Well, I can tell you exactly what I was doing. I had to work that day until 6pm in the
dairy department - which according to what some people were saying was the
exact time when the world was set to implode on itself - so, I'm thinking to
myself, great...I just turned thirty and I'm going to spend the apocalypse at
work. Just my luck, right?
Only
there was no apocalypse. There was no
rapture. There wasn't even a
thunderbolt. It was just another
regular day in the neighbourhood.
I
suppose that one could blame Harold Egbert Camping for this mess. At the time, Camping was an 89-year-old
Christian radio talk show host who had been at the Family Radio station since
1958. It was he who made the prediction
that Jesus Christ would return on May 21, 2011 to take those who were pure of
heart to heaven via the rapture. The
rest of the damned ones would stay on Earth for the next five months, having to
be forced to live in a world of fire and brimstone, with millions of people
dying each day until the 21st of October when the world would more than likely
explode.
And
the sad part about all of this is that people not only believed this to be
true, but actually donated their hard earned cash to Camping - and honestly, I
have no idea why they would even do that!
Did they think that he had the power to stop the world from dying? I don't think ANYONE had that power.
I
mean, this is coming from a man who had made several predictions about the
world ending, and every single one of those predictions backfired on him! Prior to May 2011, he had predicted that the
world was supposed to end on September 6, 1994 - and I'm pretty sure that never
happened, as that date was the first day of eighth grade for me - and I know
that I made it through that day unscathed!
Well...at
least physically, anyway.
You
know, to be completely honest - and I'm sure that some may think that I am
being too hard on this guy - especially since he died two and a half years ago
- but I don't care. I think what he did
was completely outrageous. I don't
particularly care for the use of fear mongering to try and control people into
doing things that they would not normally do.
It's one reason why I can't support the current Republican nominee that
I will not name in this blog entry as I feel he has gotten far more attention
than he deserves anyway.
But
back to Camping, I really hated the fact that he played on people's fears to
siphon millions of dollars in donations just so he could use them to keep his
radio show on the air, or to maintain his lifestyle, or what have you. It's disgusting, and foul, and it's yet
another reason why I don't believe in organized religion. I believe that a person can be spiritually
rewarded in ways that don't require donating to a collection plate, or wiring
money to a crackpot who likes to predict the end of days.
It's
not as though any of us wake up in the morning, grab a cup of coffee, and want
the world to die a slow and painful death.
Most of us probably want to look at ways in which we can protect our
planet - not sit back and wait until it gets destroyed.
I
think that Harold Camping took advantage of a lot of people with his
predictions - which as we all know were a bunch of baloney. And when the May 21, 2011 prediction was a
bust, he amended it to October 21, 2011.
Once again, October came and went and no incidents took place. Shortly after that, Camping officially
"retired" from the prediction business, and claimed that his attempts
to predict a doomsday date was "sinful".
Before
I go ahead with today's entry, I just want to send my thoughts out to the
people of Fort McMurray, Alberta. The
area has been greatly devastated by wildfires, and hundreds of people have lost
almost everything they own. Please keep
them in your thoughts, and if you can, donate to the relief fund.
When we last left off with Jem Reviewed, we learned that Jem and
the Holograms movie deal was soured by the fact that Eric bought out the movie
studio so that the Misfits could be in the film. The Misfits caused so much trouble that they forced Jem and the
others to quit. Oh, and Ba Nee is going
blind, as if there weren't enough problems in the world.
The
story continues with Episode 7 - Starbright:
Colliding Stars.
We
revisit the doctor's office where Jerrica is still trying to process the news
that Ba Nee is losing her sight. The
reason why is due to a degenerative eye disease that Ba Nee inherited from her
biological parents. But fear not! There is hope. You see, laser eye surgery was a fairly new invention back in
1986, and although very few surgeries were performed with laser technology back
then, it is implied that if Ba Nee has the surgery, her vision will be
restored.
Unfortunately,
since this is the 1980s, the surgery is EXTREMELY expensive. Like a quarter of a million dollars
expensive! Does Lasik even cost that
much now thirty years later? I don't
know. I'll never find out either,
because I'm scared to death of getting lasers fired into my eye sockets.
So
now Jerrica has to raise enough money to pay for Ba Nee's eye surgery. After all, she promised Ba Nee she
would. Later on in the series, it
becomes painfully clear that Ba Nee is Jerrica's golden child, but we'll sit on
that plot development for now. In the
meantime, Jerrica, Kimber, and Shana are trying to come up with ways to raise
the money, and I don't think the Starlight House honor jar will cut it.
Aja
remarks that they must all have half a brain cell in between them - which is
probably the most true statement she's ever made about the group in
general. But her suggestion is a good
one. Remember that music company that
Jerrica won back from Eric Raymond in episode five? I believe it was Starlight Music? Surely Jerrica could use some of the money from the savings
accounts there to pay for the surgery!
What could go wrong?
Well,
entering Starlight Music with the power cut off, no employees to be found and
repo men taking all of the furnishings out of the building might be one
hurdle. We quickly learn from a woman
named Joanie that Eric Raymond was responsible. Remember how way back in episode three how
Eric confessed to Pizzazz that he was embezzling funds from Starlight Music to
promote the Misfits? Well, this is the
end result. A company that is in danger
of busting apart at the seams.
Well,
not if Jerrica can help it! She puts
the other Holograms to work in making the calls to get everything back up and
running, and for the first time, we actually get to see Jerrica the business
person take charge. I have to admit, I
kind of like seeing this side of her.
Apparently,
so does Joanie, who admits that if Emmett were around, he would be proud of
her. I'm meanwhile distracted by the
fact that Joanie sounds like Synergy if she had the Irish brogue program
installed into her circuitry. But I
suppose it makes sense, given that in this edition of Jem Trivia, Joanie and Synergy are voiced by the same woman - Marlene Aragon.
Unfortunately,
the Holograms have used all remaining resources to get Starlight Music back up
and running...and as much as Jerrica refuses to admit it, she can only think of
one way to get the money for Ba Nee's operation.
Cue
a defeated Jerrica Benton inside Eric Raymond's office, begging him to bring
Jem and the Holograms back on the movie set so they can use the proceeds to pay
for the operation. And Eric takes great
pleasure in kicking Jerrica when she's down by agreeing - provided that Jerrica
becomes the personal assistant for him and the Misfits. This should prove to be a bit problematic
considering that Jerrica and Jem are the same person!
And
the very next day, Jem and the others arrive back on the set where some people
- such as Jeff Wright - are thrilled that they came back. And others, like Georgia the judgmental
make-up artist - scoff at the idea.
And
of course, the Misfits are absolutely furious with Eric for even entertaining
the idea of bringing Jem back onto the movie...at least until Eric reveals that
he's arranged it so that the Misfits can make the Holograms do whatever they
want!
And
when Clash reveals to the band that one of the Starlight girls is in need of an
operation (after Video accidentally reveals the information to her in a fit of
anger), it just makes Pizzazz and Roxy even more determined to make Jem and the
Holograms' lives a misery. Though, I
suppose it was nice of Stormer to ask which Starlight Girl needed the
operation. Heck, if it were Ashley that
needed the operation, Stormer would probably have clawed out her own eyes and
given them to her!
Yeah,
that's an image I don't want in my head.
Let's move on to the scene where the Misfits throw Jem and the Holograms
out of their dressing room and sing a song about it - with Stormer trying to be tough and telling them not to forget their toothbrushes! Ha!
Ah,
"Congratulations" - probably one of the most passive-aggressive songs
in the Misfits repertoire. Only the
Misfits could take a congratulatory message and turn it into a mega
insult! Here's the kicker...I actually
like this song!
So
now comes time for Jem to share a scene with Nick Mann - and Pizzazz. But at the same time, Eric wants Jerrica to
run some errands for him. Now, at this
point in time, Jem has changed back to Jerrica, which means that Jem is now
late for her scene. And Eric has put
Jerrica in a bit of a pickle, as he announces that if Jem does not show up
within one minute, he will fire her from the film!
Of
course, Eric doesn't realize that Jerrica can use the JemStar earrings to
summon a hologram of Jem so that Eric will believe that both of them are
there. It takes a lot of trickery and a
lot of quick movements on Jem's part, but she manages to successfully summon a
Jerrica hologram while changing back into Jem so she can film the scene with
Nick and Pizzazz.
Sure
enough, when the time comes for the scene to be shot, Jem is doing quite well,
and Nick is a natural ham...but Pizzazz is probably the worst actress I've seen
in a long time - even the kids from "Barney & Friends" could be
more convincing!
It's
time to call it quits for filming for the day, and a production assistant
reminds everyone to pick up their call sheets for tomorrow's filming. Those sheets will tell all of the actors and
film crew which soundstage they will be filming at. I'm sure that after taking Eric's abuse and fetching Pizzazz a couple
of beers ginger ales, Jerrica could use the rest.
It's
just a shame that there's no security in the production offices. Why anyone with cymbals around their wrists
could sneak in and switch the papers around so that nobody would know what
stage they're supposed to be at.
Sure
enough, Jem, Kimber, Aja, and Shana all have different soundstage
assignments. This leads to a frantic
search for the right stage as a Jem and the Holograms video plays.
Now,
I have no issue with the song itself.
"Show Me The Way" is an okay song. It's not great, but it's got potential. No, my problem is the fact that Jem and the Holograms just barge
onto the sets of three different films and disrupt them - and get NO sort of
reprimand for it! I mean, we get
it. You're lost and need assistance to
get to where you want to go. Don't ruin
other people's films to make it happen!
That film footage isn't cheap.
Fortunately,
Video manages to find the Holograms before they have the chance to destroy any
other film sets. But you can bet that
Eric will be ever so pissed.
And
ever so pissed Eric is. He not only
reprimands all four girls in the middle of the right soundstage in front of the
entire film crew, but he decides to hit them where it hurts by docking them a
day's pay for missing their call time.
As much as I hate to say it, Eric does make a point. At the same time, Clash was the one who set
the ball rolling, so it's really not Jem's fault.
The
other members of the crew are actually confused. They don't understand why Jem would make such a huge deal about
losing earnings from the filming of the movie.
But Video does, and before long, she's telling everyone else about Ba
Nee and her eyes. I wonder if this will
have an impact on the next episode...time will tell. I'm thinking maybe Video should change her name to Chatterbox
myself. Who's she going to tell
next? Joan Rivers? Phil Donahue? The Limp Lizards?
Rio
is appalled by the way Eric is treating Jem and Jerrica, and when he comes
across Jerrica, he tries to help in his own Rio way by telling Jerrica that
she's an idiot for taking Eric's abuse.
Smooth, Rio. Real smooth.
But
Jerrica actually tells off the big lug, angrily informing him that she is there
because Jem asked her to be, and that she doesn't need him telling her what to
do. Where the hell was this backbone
when Rio punched her co-star out?!? I
mean, sure, Nick's a bigger jerk than Rio, but still...
It's
time once more for Jem to go on stage, and before you can say "Showtime,
Synergy", Jerrica becomes Jem and joins the rest of the cast in a cage
underneath a log. Yep, I don't even
know what the hell this film is about either.
You're not alone.
A
minor setback occurs when Jem projects a Jerrica hologram, and Eric tosses a
script to Jerrica - which goes right through her. And as everyone knows, holograms cannot pick up objects.
Once
again, Aja and her brain come to her rescue.
She attacks Pizzazz right where it hurts - her ego - and manages to get
Jem out of the cage long enough for her to change into Jerrica so she can hand
Eric back his script. She does this by
telling Pizzazz that Jem has more scenes than her, and Pizzazz orders Jem out
of the scene. Good one, Aja!
It's
time for the next scene, which involves Jem and Nick running across a spinning
log to safety. I should mention that
this log is several feet above the ground and if anyone fell off the log, it
would be kersplut all over the stage.
Nick wastes no time in making Jeff do his stunt for him, but Eric
reveals that in order for Jem to have a stunt double, it would cost her more
money! Wow...that's not cool,
Eric. And apparently several staffers
on the film set agree with me.
Unfortunately, Eric's ego is even bigger than Pizzazz's, and when he is
challenged, he fires them all!
So
Jem is forced to climb across the spinning log by herself while Eric gleefully
salivates at the mouth for the chance to humiliate her. Interestingly enough, Video takes the time
to film the scene as well with her own camera.
Predictably,
the log looks as if it's made of styrofoam and fiberglass, and Jem falls
through the log to her death.
The
end.
No,
wait. Rio comes to the rescue by
grabbing a nearby vine and swinging towards a falling Jem, saving her life and
impressing Jeff in the process. Jem is
absolutely smitten with Rio and plants a big wet one on him.
And
Video is also quite proud of herself...she filmed Jem's accident with her
camera, and I don't think that any of the film unions would take too kindly to
the fact that one of the top rising stars in the music industry nearly became a
glittery pink pancake on the ground.
But why in the hell would she label the tape "JEM'S
ACCIDENT"? Why not just decorate
it in neon lights and put arrows all over it?
I know Video's a bit naive, but COME ON!!!
I
mean, because of Video's mistake, Clash easily swipes the tape, borrows a
magnetic tape eraser, and erases the tape.
Or does she?
Seems
as though Video isn't that naive. The
tape that Clash erased actually contained footage that the Misfits shot! I wonder if Clash will still be the Misfits
#1 fan after this?
Jeff
insists on taking the tape to the union right away, but Jem tells him not to,
fearing that the film will shut down production leaving her without a way to
pay for Ba Nee's operation. And this in
turn angers Rio who tells Jem that she's being an idiot for letting this film
continue, which causes Jem to tell Rio to f@#$ off - well...as PG rated as
possible, that is. Despite the tension
between Jem and Rio, Jeff agrees not to do anything with the tape, provided
that the rest of the film shoot goes smoothly.
Back
at Starlight Mansion, Jerrica is tucking Ba Nee in for the night, and Ba Nee's
eyesight is fading away each passing day.
Ba Nee flat out asks Jerrica if her eyes will ever get better, and
Jerrica makes Ba Nee a promise that she will find a way. It's really one of the more tender moments
in the series so far, and I kind of found myself getting a little
misty-eyed. I know...getting misty-eyed
over a cartoon. What's happening to me?
Meanwhile,
Kimber is excited to find out that she has a scene with the fantastic Nick
Mann, and as it turns out, her scene takes place in the middle of a deserted
field that happens to be filled with step mines. Wow, way to live dangerously.
But don't worry though. Having
learned his lesson from the Jem fiasco, Eric ensures that Kimber actually has a stunt double this
time.
And
Kimber might want to substitute her stunt double for the scene. Nick Mann is acting more like
a...well...Dick Mann. He refuses to
give Kimber attention when she arrives.
Furthermore, a teenage fan who just wants Nick's autograph is given the
cold shoulder, leaving her in tears and Kimber thinking that Nick's not so
great after all.
It
fades into another fairly decent Jem and the Holograms song entitled "Love
Is Doin' It To Me". It's a song
that illustrates Kimber's confusion brilliantly.
After
the song is over, a disappointed Kimber runs into Jeff, and although she is
sort of bummed at first, she perks up when Jeff runs Kimber through the scene,
introducing her to the stunt double, and making Kimber understand how special
effects are designed. To Kimber's
credit, she's very interested, and even gives Jeff a kiss for good luck! Aw...Kimber's not as shallow as we thought!
It's
too bad that Roxy tries to plant a kiss on Jeff as well - only for Jeff to
rebuff her advances. And since Roxy is
the Misfit that seems the most unstable, she decides that Kimber has to pay for
coming in between them.
With
help from Clash, they sneak up to the control booth where the special effects
technician is ready to detonate the step mines. With a clash of the cymbals, the technician is temporarily
stunned, giving Roxy the chance to play with the equipment.
One
problem...at that moment, Eric is directing Kimber to run towards Nick on the
motorcycle, and as she runs, the explosions start going off. Scared out of her wits, Kimber is stunned by
the dangerous explosions going off around her, knowing that one false move
could turn her into Kimber Tots.
She
sees her saviour in Nick...but the coward drives away in fear, leaving Kimber
to die in the middle of the field, a horrified Jerrica looking on.
And
that dreaded TO BE CONTINUED message pops up again in the melee. What happens next week? Does Kimber get fried? Do Ba Nee's eyes get fixed? And how does this movie finally end? The finale of the Starbright saga is just
one week away!