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Wednesday, May 11, 2016

The Best and Worst Fads of Five Years Ago

Every single year that has existed in the modern world has at least one fad attached to it.

In 1976, for example, everyone was all about the American bicentennial, and people flaunted red, white, and blue fashions to celebrate it.  In 1986, Claymation seemed to dominate film and television.  In 1996, everyone danced to the Macarena, and it seems as though in 2016, everyone's dying their hair in neon colours, pastel colours...colours that are basically not found in nature.

But what was the biggest fad of 2011?  That's a tough one.

Truth be told...I can't really decide on just one.

So, in the spirit of everything five years old being new once more, let's take a look back at some of the crazy fads that took place in 2011.  Some of them have withstood the test of time, while others probably should have been tossed away like 2011 calendars on the first day of January 2012.

Let's begin.



SKINNY JEANS

Hey, remember back in 2011 when clothing manufacturers believed that everyone's legs were so unique and special that there should be jeans that show them off?  Enter the creation of the skinny jean.  A pair of jeans that are structured to look like leggings or yoga pants.  On one hand, the skinny jeans could really accentuate certain assets of a body.  On the other, I can't imagine how some people could squeeze into them in the first place.  I have nothing against slim-cut trousers, but I should not be able to see what denomination of coins you have in your pockets.  And all that chafing from denim rubbing against your thighs?  Pass.

We won't discuss skinny jeans for men.  That's almost as bad as bringing back the Speedo.



PLANKING

You know, of all the fads of 2011 that came out, one I can't understand was the obsession with planking.  I mean, I understood the Ice Bucket Challenge because it was raising awareness for ALS.  But the only thing that planking raised awareness for was...well...YouTube channels.  Not exactly the same thing.  Basically, planking is lying on top of an object, or suspending yourself across two objects in a pose that basically simulates a dead person in rigor mortis.  It sounds just as redundant as I think I described it.



TEBOWING

In a related note, remember football player Tim Tebow?  The guy who sold cell phones for T-Mobile and refused to strip down to his Jockeys in between games?  And you know how he would do his famous Tim Tebow pose which sort of resembled him kneeling down and praying?  I have no issue with Tebow doing that pose.  It's his own thing, and he's entitled to doing whatever he wants on the field.  I do have an issue with everyone else trying to mimic the Tebow pose.  But then again, I don't understand people jumping on bandwagons anyway - especially when it comes to miming a football player's unique stance.  It just didn't work.



FACEBOOK STATUS UPDATES FOR CANCER AWARENESS

Remember that one week on Facebook, every single woman on your Friends list posted random colours on their status updates?  Red.  White.  Lavender.  Fuchsia.  Zebra Print.  And all of us were wondering what the heck was going on.  Turns out it was a game in which women listed the colour of their underwear to raise awareness for breast cancer.  You want to know what I think would be a great way to raise awareness?  DONATE MONEY TO A BREAST CANCER AWARENESS CHARITY INSTEAD OF SHARING THE COLOUR OF YOUR UNMENTIONABLES ON SOCIAL MEDIA!  Seriously, this sort of stuff happened all throughout 2011, and it became really annoying.  I am so glad that we've evolved since then. 

Well, at least, we no longer do games like that.  Changing the colour of our profile pics doesn't annoy me nearly as much.

Grey.



CAKE POPS

Now, one might argue that the cake pop existed long before 2011.  And I would probably accept that as being the truth.  But this hybrid of a cupcake and lollipop became a 2011 food tradition that is still enjoyed in 2016.  I'll be the first to admit that this is one food fad that I'm glad has stuck around.  Seriously, with cake pops, there's less of a burden to make them perfect as you would a triple layer cake.  And there are endless possibilities for creativity as well. 



ONE DIRECTION

It seems interesting to talk about this band now, given that in 2016 they seem to have called it quits for now.  But it was five years ago that the band - which competed on and came in third place on the British talent search show "The X Factor" - released their very first album.  And what progressed afterwards was reminiscent of the impact that the New Kids on the Block had on girls all over the world circa 1990.  As the band continued to release hit after hit, girls wore One Direction T-shirts, One Direction jewelry, One Direction socks...basically they became walking billboards for One Direction.  It's hard to argue that One Direction went one direction in 2011...up, up, way up.


So, what do you think?  Have any more fads to add to this list?  What do you remember most about 2011?

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

May 10, 1975

Welcome to another Tuesday Timeline adventure!  This will be a bit of a break from the "everything five years old is new again" theme, as nothing exciting happened on May 10, 2011...at least not that I could find, anyway.

But, a lot of things did happen on May 10 throughout history...have a look and see what I mean!

70 - The Siege of Jerusalem takes place

1534 - Jacques Cartier visits the area that would become the Canadian province of Newfoundland

1773 - The Parliament of Great Britain passes the Tea Act

1774 - Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette are crowned King and Queen of France

1775 - Fort Ticonderoga is captured by Colonial militia lead by Benedict Arnold and Ethan Allen

1837 - The Panic of 1837; Banks in New York City begin to collapse and unemployment skyrockets

1865 - Jefferson Davis is captured by American troops in Georgia on the same day that William Quantrill is mortally wounded by Union soldiers in Kentucky

1872 - Victoria Woodhull becomes the first woman to be nominated for the United States presidency

1893 - The Supreme Court of the United States rules that a tomato is not a fruit, but a vegetable, under the Tariff Act of 1883

1899 - Actor/dancer/singer Fred Astaire (d. 1987) is born in Omaha, Nebraska

1908 - Mother's Day is observed for the first time in the United States

1922 - Actress Nancy Walker (d. 1992) is born in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

1924 - J. Edgar Hoover is appointed the first director of the FBI, remaining in the position for forty-eight years until his death

1940 - Germany launches full on attacks during World War II, invading Belgium, the Netherlands, and Luxembourg - Winston Churchill becomes the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom

1954 - Bill Haley & His Comets release "Rock Around the Clock" - the first rock and roll single to top the American music charts

1957 - "The Sex Pistols" frontman Sid Vicious (d. 1979) is born in Lewisham, London, England

1970 - Bobby Orr scores "The Goal" to win the Stanley Cup for the Boston Bruins

1977 - Actress Joan Crawford passes away in New York City

1994 - Four years after his release from prison, Nelson Mandela is inaugurated as the first black president of South Africa

1999 - Poet and illustrator Shel Silverstein dies at the age of 68

2005 - Vladimir Arutyunian attempts to kill President George W. Bush by throwing a live grenade at him while making a speech in the nation of Georgia - luckily for Bush, the grenade does not detonate

2013 - One World Trade Center officially becomes the tallest building in the Western Hemisphere - twelve years after the original World Trade Center was destroyed in 2001

And for celebrity birthdays, we have the following famous faces blowing out candles today; Carl Douglas, David Clennon, Jim Abrahams, Donovan, Graham Gouldman, Dave Mason, Caroline B. Cooney, Meg Foster, Miuccia Prada, Rick Santorum, Victoria Rowell, Bono, Linda Evangelista, Young MC, Craig Mack, Helio Castroneves, Kenan Thompson, Odette Annable, and Lindsey Shaw.

So, since we've already established that 2011 is NOT the year we'll be visiting this week, let's see what year we WILL be looking at.



May 10, 1975.  Before I was born, but let's go with it.  On television, it was the year that "All In The Family", "Good Times", "Happy Days", and "M*A*S*H" were some of the top shows on television.

And thanks to the power of DVD technology and online channels like Netflix, you can watch these shows over and over again!  Heck, if you have one of those digital video recorders or Tivo, you can record these shows from classic sitcom channels and watch them at your disposal now!

Of course, when I was a kid, none of that stuff even existed.  But we did have those old fashioned machines...I believe they were called VCR's back in the day.  While VCR's were great back in the day - and spawned a video store explosion during the 1980s and 1990s - they weren't exactly foolproof.  I can't remember the number of VHS tapes I pitched in the garbage because my VCR ate them.  That being said, it was the only way you could watch the newest episodes of "Dallas", "Dynasty", "Miami Vice" and "The A-Team" if you had to work during the times that they were on.  Just set the timer on the VCR, have it record onto a tape, and voila!

Now, VCR's and VHS tapes have always been around since I was born.  Though my family didn't get their first VCR until 1988, I do remember seeing video stores in my town at least three years prior to that - though admittedly anything before 1985 is a little hazy to me.

But...did you know that there was a predecessor to the VHS tape?  A device that some would consider better quality than the VCR?  Something that first made its appearance in Japan exactly 41 years ago today?



Ladies and gentlemen...I present to you - The Betamax player!

The technology behind Betamax was brought to the world by Sony - the same company that brought us the Walkman and the PlayStation.  Released in Japan on May 10, 1975, it wouldn't be released in North America until November of the same year.  And interestingly enough, the first Betamax recorders were sold with a nineteen-inch colour monitor.  It was kind of similar to the televisions with the built-in VCR's or DVD players.

And the reason why the product was named the Betamax?  Well, in Japanese, the word beta was used as a way to describe the signals that were recorded onto the tape - and the fact that when the tape ran through the transport, it kind of looked like the Greek letter Beta kind of gave a little bit more insight towards the naming of the product.  And Max was simply an add on to describe the product's greatness.



And many people will argue that the Betamax technology was better than VHS tapes.  Although I've never used a Betamax player, I have heard from others that say that the picture and sound quality surpassed the VHS tape quality, and that in general, the Beta tapes were much more durable and lasted longer than VHS tapes. 

So, why did the Betamax flop, and the VCR thrive?

Well, there were quite a few reasons. 

One factor could have been cost of manufacturing, which lead to the cost of the products themselves.  When JVC began releasing VCR's in Japan in 1976, and RCA began selling them in the United States in 1977, they were manufactured at a much cheaper cost than Sony was manufacturing the Betamax.  As a result, the price of a VCR was significantly less than the price of a Betamax.

(Though, keep in mind that a VCR in 1977 was worth thousands of dollars as opposed to the 40 dollars or so you'd pay for one today.)

Ultimately though, the main reason why the Beta bombed was due to one major factor that determined whether a person would go Beta or go VHS.

Time.  Specifically the time that was allowed on a standard tape.



Now, having recorded several programs and movies on VHS cassettes in my lifetime, I know all about how VHS tapes work.  Depending on whether you have the setting on SP, LP, or SLP, VHS tapes could run from 2 hours of recording time to 6 hours.  Or, if you had one of those extended tapes, you could make it an 8 hour long tape.  Of course, the SP length meant crisper, clearer images and sharper sound quality, but you only had two hours to work with.  On the other hand, you could make a 6 hour tape, but have poor sound quality and not as clear images.

(I usually just set it to four hours.  It was the best compromise, and you could put a movie, as well as have room for four episodes of The Simpsons...well, if you pause it during commercial breaks, anyway.)

Now, comparing the length of time on a VHS tape to a Betamax tape, and well...it sucked.

On a standard Betamax tape, at least when they first came out in Japan, Sony made the decision to limit the length of time to just ONE hour of recording time.  That wouldn't even tape a full movie that aired on television.  Whereas JVC marketed their VHS cassettes with two hour tapes, thus allowing people to record full-length features on the tapes.  And although Sony would start manufacturing Beta tapes with longer recording times in the 1980s, by then the VCR had the market cornered, and Sony simply couldn't catch up.  By 1980 alone, 60% of the North American market had embraced the VCR, and by 1988, Sony accepted defeat and began manufacturing their own VCR's.

Here's one final and sad footnote.  Although VHS tapes overtook Betamax tapes in the 1980s, Beta tapes continued to be manufactured long after Betamax recorders ceased production.  You could still buy brand new Beta tapes as late as 2015 in some remote stores!  Sadly, in late 2015, Sony made the decision to cease all production of Beta tapes, and in early 2016, the last Beta was made.

Another piece of technology joining the electronics graveyard.



R.I.P. Betamax.  May 10, 1975 - March 1, 2016

Monday, May 09, 2016

The Smurfs Movie - 2011 Movie Moment

I consider myself to have a love/hate relationship with the Smurfs.



When I was a kid, I do remember watching the cartoon on television.  It was kind of hard to avoid, given that it was a Saturday Morning mainstay for close to a decade.  But, leave it to NBC to keep cartoons and kids shows on long past their expiration date.  After all, "Alvin and the Chipmunks" stayed on the air for seven years, and "Saved By The Bell" managed a total of twelve if you factor in the Miss Bliss year and the New Class years.



But while I did like the cartoon, I hated the fact that the Smurf toys were always so hard to find - and were way overpriced for what they were.  At least, it seemed like that to me anyway.  I always liked Papa Smurf and always wanted a Papa Smurf doll, as he was the only Smurf that had a beard, and he was the only Smurf that wore red.  And being a non-conformist at heart, I absolutely wanted Papa Smurf.  Unfortunately, everyone else wanted him too.  It was one of the several toys that I never owned in my youth, right alongside the Easy-Bake Oven, the board game "Pay Day", and the Speak and Spell.

(Though, the last one would have been hardly used as I already knew how to spell very well...I just thought it looked cool.)

Now, the Smurfs television show debuted in 1981 - and obviously I don't remember the earliest episodes as I was a few months old when they made their network television debut.  But thirty years later, in 2011, the Smurfs made the leap onto the big screen in their first three dimensional appearance. 



And, much like the television show, it too received mixed reviews.

Die hard Smurfs fans would have probably loved the film, and it must have been a success as it spawned a sequel as well as a couple of holiday themed television specials.  Sure enough, it was the ninth highest grossing film of 2011.  But some people would also tell you that the film was stupid, made no sense, and completely destroyed any credibility that the Smurfs might have had.

I don't know if I would go quite THAT far, but I do think that there were some parts of the film that could have been better.

Interestingly enough, one of those things doesn't include changing the cast around.  For what it was worth, the Smurfs themselves had a fantastic group of actors who near mimicked the original cartoon voices.  Jonathan Winters was perfect as Papa Smurf - and I have to wonder who they would get to play Papa Smurf if any more sequels were made, as Winters passed away in 2013.  Katy Perry was quite perfect as Smurfette.  Fred Armisen made a wonderful Brainy Smurf.  Really, I have no issues with the voice cast at all.

The human cast itself wasn't too bad either.  I mean feasibly speaking, adding Jayma Mays and Neil Patrick Harris in a film was a good idea on paper, and to be fair to both of them, they really did their best.



And, I also have to give props to Hank Azaria for his role of Gargamel.  I don't know who the make-up artists were that worked on him, but they did a fantastic job transforming Gargamel from cartoon to human.  And, here's an interesting piece of trivia for you.  Did you know that Azaria shaved his head during the filming of this movie so that he could make the make-up applications go quicker?  And that he changed into his Gargamel costume at least fifty times during the whole shoot?  I have to say, that is a LOT of time in a make-up chair!

I also must say that even the film premiere was quite creative.  For one, the film premiered on June 16, 2011 in a small Spanish village named Juzcar, and in preparation for the event, all of the buildings in the village - including the town's church - were painted bright blue.



Don't believe me?  Have a look!  It's quite a change, isn't it?  And as of May 2016, the buildings still remain blue!  Apparently the citizens of the town voted to keep the colour after it was noted that many tourists would come by to see the blue buildings.  In 2012 alone, the rate of tourists increased from 300 in early 2011 to almost 80,000 the following year!

The only thing that I wish could have been better about the film was the actual plot itself.

Suffice to say, I think the movie would have worked better had they kept the classic cartoon style and not had this side plot of the Smurfs getting sucked into a vortex that brought them to New York City in 2011.  I won't go into too much detail there, but the whole plot was just too unbelievable.  Although I suppose had I been six when this movie came out and not thirty, I'd probably have liked it a lot more.

Or maybe I'm still bitter that I never got a Papa Smurf.

Sunday, May 08, 2016

The Cheap Trick Storm That Collapsed A Bluesfest Stage - 2011 Music Moment

I just want to start off today by wishing all of the moms out there a very happy Mother's Day!  I hope you're getting spoiled by your children, grandchildren, and if it applies, great grandchildren!

And, since this month I'll be featuring things that were brand new five years ago, I thought that I would try to make this entry mother themed.

The key word is TRY.

And I failed.  Big time.

While a lot of interesting music themed things happened in 2011, none of them really did much to celebrate mothers.  So, I'll have to try and come up with another angle.

Now, I'm quite positive that when it comes to people who were born around the same time that I was, their mothers likely listened to a lot of late 1970s progressive rock, old fashioned rock, or maybe even the punk scene.

Not mine!  Mine listened to Emmylou Harris, Glen Campbell, and the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack.  Now THAT's a combo!



I can however tell you that one rock song my mom likes is Cheap Trick's "I Want You To Want Me".  Released in September 1977, the single rocketed up the charts very quickly and many people consider the single to be the band's signature hit.  I know that I definitely like the song, and it was on my way to work one morning that a local radio station was playing it and it reminded me of an incident that involved the band five years ago while they were performing that very song.

Unfortunately, it was a moment that the band themselves would rather forget.

The date was July 17, 2011.  The place was the Bluesfest festival in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada.  And, before I continue with this discussion, I want to tell you all about what Bluesfest is.  It will familiarize yourselves with the festival as you read on.

Bluesfest was started in Ottawa in 1994, and at first, the only headline entertainer to appear was Clarence Clemmons of Bruce Springsteen's E Street Band.  But over the next twenty-two years, the festival has grown tremendously and has attracted lots of big named talent.  I don't know if you could quite call it the Coachella of the Great White North, but it certainly is a festival that is worth attending at least once.

And aside from the great talent that amalgamates to Canada's capital city every July, the program has also implemented the "Blues in the Schools" program, which assigns musicians to teach local school children how to play music as well as instructing them about the history of modern music.  I think it's a fantastic program, especially in a period where arts and music programs seem to be getting cut.

Now that you know what Bluesfest is, we can continue.



On July 17, 2011, Cheap Trick was slated to perform at Bluesfest on stage in front of a large crowd of people.  And at first, it seemed as though nothing of note would happen.  Certainly, the weather at that time was overcast, but nothing to really consider dangerous...at least not when the band began to perform anyway.

Twenty minutes into Cheap Trick's set, the band was right in the middle of playing the signature hit that I previously talked about earlier.  At this time, a sudden storm was approaching the main stage - so sudden that it went from calm to torrential downpour and strong winds in a flash.  Trust me, in Canada, this is quite common during the summer months.  When I did the Relay for Life back in 2014, we had a sudden thunderstorm blow in as we were just getting ready to start the event and the storm delayed us for almost half an hour!  And then the storm ended as quickly as it began!  It's crazy how summer storms can get.

Well, in Ottawa, a similar thing happened.  The storm went away as quickly as it came.  But as the storm hit the stage, the unexpected happened.

The wind shook the stage violently as the band wrapped up their performance of "I Want You To Want Me", and before long, the roof of the stage started to collapse!  Luckily for Cheap Trick, the band had managed to get off the stage before the structure collapsed.  But at least three people were injured in the melee, and the stage collapse ultimately put an end to the Bluesfest fun for the rest of the night.



But how could such a thing happen?

Well, as I explained before, summer storms in Canada are quite unpredictable.  Sometimes they can be as insignificant as a thunderclap, while other times they can spawn serious tornadoes.  In this case, it was the perfect storm (pardon the pun) for near disaster. 

And the stage itself was a rental, but it had been inspected for safety quite regularly and was considered structurally sound at the time of the concert - but again, I'm sure nobody really expected a sudden storm to come out of nowhere and turn the stage into a bunch of oversized pick-up sticks either.

Either way, it was definitely a freak accident - and luckily, nobody was killed.  That in itself was a miracle.

Still...five years since that happened.  Crazy how time flies! 

Saturday, May 07, 2016

Remember When The World Ended in 2011? Me Either...

Hey, remember that time back in 2011 when the world ended?  Wasn't that such a crazy time?  I mean, it started with an earthquake, birds, snakes, and aeroplanes, but Lenny Bruce wasn't afraid?

No, wait...that was an R.E.M. song.

But you remember the end of the world, don't you?  I mean, we had mountains collapsing into the sea, skyscrapers crashing down in the streets, sun spots toasting parts of Europe, and melting glaciers sent Canada and half of the United States underwater.  That was like the worst day ever.  I still have a fear of swimming in ice water because of it.

What's that?  You don't remember any of those things?  Actually, come to think of it, neither do I.

BECAUSE NONE OF THAT HAPPENED AT ALL.

Do you remember what you were doing on May 21, 2011?  Well, I can tell you exactly what I was doing.  I had to work that day until 6pm in the dairy department - which according to what some people were saying was the exact time when the world was set to implode on itself - so, I'm thinking to myself, great...I just turned thirty and I'm going to spend the apocalypse at work.  Just my luck, right?

Only there was no apocalypse.  There was no rapture.  There wasn't even a thunderbolt.  It was just another regular day in the neighbourhood.



I suppose that one could blame Harold Egbert Camping for this mess.  At the time, Camping was an 89-year-old Christian radio talk show host who had been at the Family Radio station since 1958.  It was he who made the prediction that Jesus Christ would return on May 21, 2011 to take those who were pure of heart to heaven via the rapture.  The rest of the damned ones would stay on Earth for the next five months, having to be forced to live in a world of fire and brimstone, with millions of people dying each day until the 21st of October when the world would more than likely explode.

And the sad part about all of this is that people not only believed this to be true, but actually donated their hard earned cash to Camping - and honestly, I have no idea why they would even do that!  Did they think that he had the power to stop the world from dying?  I don't think ANYONE had that power.

I mean, this is coming from a man who had made several predictions about the world ending, and every single one of those predictions backfired on him!  Prior to May 2011, he had predicted that the world was supposed to end on September 6, 1994 - and I'm pretty sure that never happened, as that date was the first day of eighth grade for me - and I know that I made it through that day unscathed!

Well...at least physically, anyway.

You know, to be completely honest - and I'm sure that some may think that I am being too hard on this guy - especially since he died two and a half years ago - but I don't care.  I think what he did was completely outrageous.  I don't particularly care for the use of fear mongering to try and control people into doing things that they would not normally do.  It's one reason why I can't support the current Republican nominee that I will not name in this blog entry as I feel he has gotten far more attention than he deserves anyway.

But back to Camping, I really hated the fact that he played on people's fears to siphon millions of dollars in donations just so he could use them to keep his radio show on the air, or to maintain his lifestyle, or what have you.  It's disgusting, and foul, and it's yet another reason why I don't believe in organized religion.  I believe that a person can be spiritually rewarded in ways that don't require donating to a collection plate, or wiring money to a crackpot who likes to predict the end of days.

It's not as though any of us wake up in the morning, grab a cup of coffee, and want the world to die a slow and painful death.  Most of us probably want to look at ways in which we can protect our planet - not sit back and wait until it gets destroyed. 

I think that Harold Camping took advantage of a lot of people with his predictions - which as we all know were a bunch of baloney.  And when the May 21, 2011 prediction was a bust, he amended it to October 21, 2011.  Once again, October came and went and no incidents took place.  Shortly after that, Camping officially "retired" from the prediction business, and claimed that his attempts to predict a doomsday date was "sinful".

Gee...you think?

Friday, May 06, 2016

Jem Reviewed: Episode 7 - Starbright: Colliding Stars

Before I go ahead with today's entry, I just want to send my thoughts out to the people of Fort McMurray, Alberta.  The area has been greatly devastated by wildfires, and hundreds of people have lost almost everything they own.  Please keep them in your thoughts, and if you can, donate to the relief fund.

When we last left off with Jem Reviewed, we learned that Jem and the Holograms movie deal was soured by the fact that Eric bought out the movie studio so that the Misfits could be in the film.  The Misfits caused so much trouble that they forced Jem and the others to quit.  Oh, and Ba Nee is going blind, as if there weren't enough problems in the world.



The story continues with Episode 7 - Starbright: Colliding Stars.



We revisit the doctor's office where Jerrica is still trying to process the news that Ba Nee is losing her sight.  The reason why is due to a degenerative eye disease that Ba Nee inherited from her biological parents.  But fear not!  There is hope.  You see, laser eye surgery was a fairly new invention back in 1986, and although very few surgeries were performed with laser technology back then, it is implied that if Ba Nee has the surgery, her vision will be restored.

Unfortunately, since this is the 1980s, the surgery is EXTREMELY expensive.  Like a quarter of a million dollars expensive!  Does Lasik even cost that much now thirty years later?  I don't know.  I'll never find out either, because I'm scared to death of getting lasers fired into my eye sockets.

So now Jerrica has to raise enough money to pay for Ba Nee's eye surgery.  After all, she promised Ba Nee she would.  Later on in the series, it becomes painfully clear that Ba Nee is Jerrica's golden child, but we'll sit on that plot development for now.  In the meantime, Jerrica, Kimber, and Shana are trying to come up with ways to raise the money, and I don't think the Starlight House honor jar will cut it.



Aja remarks that they must all have half a brain cell in between them - which is probably the most true statement she's ever made about the group in general.  But her suggestion is a good one.  Remember that music company that Jerrica won back from Eric Raymond in episode five?  I believe it was Starlight Music?  Surely Jerrica could use some of the money from the savings accounts there to pay for the surgery!  What could go wrong?



Well, entering Starlight Music with the power cut off, no employees to be found and repo men taking all of the furnishings out of the building might be one hurdle.  We quickly learn from a woman named Joanie that Eric Raymond was responsible.  Remember how way back in episode three how Eric confessed to Pizzazz that he was embezzling funds from Starlight Music to promote the Misfits?  Well, this is the end result.  A company that is in danger of busting apart at the seams.

Well, not if Jerrica can help it!  She puts the other Holograms to work in making the calls to get everything back up and running, and for the first time, we actually get to see Jerrica the business person take charge.  I have to admit, I kind of like seeing this side of her.

Apparently, so does Joanie, who admits that if Emmett were around, he would be proud of her.  I'm meanwhile distracted by the fact that Joanie sounds like Synergy if she had the Irish brogue program installed into her circuitry.  But I suppose it makes sense, given that in this edition of Jem Trivia, Joanie and Synergy are voiced by the same woman - Marlene Aragon.

Unfortunately, the Holograms have used all remaining resources to get Starlight Music back up and running...and as much as Jerrica refuses to admit it, she can only think of one way to get the money for Ba Nee's operation.



Cue a defeated Jerrica Benton inside Eric Raymond's office, begging him to bring Jem and the Holograms back on the movie set so they can use the proceeds to pay for the operation.  And Eric takes great pleasure in kicking Jerrica when she's down by agreeing - provided that Jerrica becomes the personal assistant for him and the Misfits.  This should prove to be a bit problematic considering that Jerrica and Jem are the same person!



And the very next day, Jem and the others arrive back on the set where some people - such as Jeff Wright - are thrilled that they came back.  And others, like Georgia the judgmental make-up artist - scoff at the idea.

And of course, the Misfits are absolutely furious with Eric for even entertaining the idea of bringing Jem back onto the movie...at least until Eric reveals that he's arranged it so that the Misfits can make the Holograms do whatever they want!



And when Clash reveals to the band that one of the Starlight girls is in need of an operation (after Video accidentally reveals the information to her in a fit of anger), it just makes Pizzazz and Roxy even more determined to make Jem and the Holograms' lives a misery.  Though, I suppose it was nice of Stormer to ask which Starlight Girl needed the operation.  Heck, if it were Ashley that needed the operation, Stormer would probably have clawed out her own eyes and given them to her!



Yeah, that's an image I don't want in my head.  Let's move on to the scene where the Misfits throw Jem and the Holograms out of their dressing room and sing a song about it - with Stormer trying to be tough and telling them not to forget their toothbrushes!  Ha!



Ah, "Congratulations" - probably one of the most passive-aggressive songs in the Misfits repertoire.  Only the Misfits could take a congratulatory message and turn it into a mega insult!  Here's the kicker...I actually like this song!



So now comes time for Jem to share a scene with Nick Mann - and Pizzazz.  But at the same time, Eric wants Jerrica to run some errands for him.  Now, at this point in time, Jem has changed back to Jerrica, which means that Jem is now late for her scene.  And Eric has put Jerrica in a bit of a pickle, as he announces that if Jem does not show up within one minute, he will fire her from the film!



Of course, Eric doesn't realize that Jerrica can use the JemStar earrings to summon a hologram of Jem so that Eric will believe that both of them are there.  It takes a lot of trickery and a lot of quick movements on Jem's part, but she manages to successfully summon a Jerrica hologram while changing back into Jem so she can film the scene with Nick and Pizzazz.



Sure enough, when the time comes for the scene to be shot, Jem is doing quite well, and Nick is a natural ham...but Pizzazz is probably the worst actress I've seen in a long time - even the kids from "Barney & Friends" could be more convincing! 

It's time to call it quits for filming for the day, and a production assistant reminds everyone to pick up their call sheets for tomorrow's filming.  Those sheets will tell all of the actors and film crew which soundstage they will be filming at.  I'm sure that after taking Eric's abuse and fetching Pizzazz a couple of beers ginger ales, Jerrica could use the rest.



It's just a shame that there's no security in the production offices.  Why anyone with cymbals around their wrists could sneak in and switch the papers around so that nobody would know what stage they're supposed to be at.



Sure enough, Jem, Kimber, Aja, and Shana all have different soundstage assignments.  This leads to a frantic search for the right stage as a Jem and the Holograms video plays.



Now, I have no issue with the song itself.  "Show Me The Way" is an okay song.  It's not great, but it's got potential.  No, my problem is the fact that Jem and the Holograms just barge onto the sets of three different films and disrupt them - and get NO sort of reprimand for it!  I mean, we get it.  You're lost and need assistance to get to where you want to go.  Don't ruin other people's films to make it happen!  That film footage isn't cheap.

Fortunately, Video manages to find the Holograms before they have the chance to destroy any other film sets.  But you can bet that Eric will be ever so pissed.



And ever so pissed Eric is.  He not only reprimands all four girls in the middle of the right soundstage in front of the entire film crew, but he decides to hit them where it hurts by docking them a day's pay for missing their call time.  As much as I hate to say it, Eric does make a point.  At the same time, Clash was the one who set the ball rolling, so it's really not Jem's fault.



The other members of the crew are actually confused.  They don't understand why Jem would make such a huge deal about losing earnings from the filming of the movie.  But Video does, and before long, she's telling everyone else about Ba Nee and her eyes.  I wonder if this will have an impact on the next episode...time will tell.  I'm thinking maybe Video should change her name to Chatterbox myself.  Who's she going to tell next?  Joan Rivers?  Phil Donahue?  The Limp Lizards?



Rio is appalled by the way Eric is treating Jem and Jerrica, and when he comes across Jerrica, he tries to help in his own Rio way by telling Jerrica that she's an idiot for taking Eric's abuse.  Smooth, Rio.  Real smooth. 

But Jerrica actually tells off the big lug, angrily informing him that she is there because Jem asked her to be, and that she doesn't need him telling her what to do.  Where the hell was this backbone when Rio punched her co-star out?!?  I mean, sure, Nick's a bigger jerk than Rio, but still...

It's time once more for Jem to go on stage, and before you can say "Showtime, Synergy", Jerrica becomes Jem and joins the rest of the cast in a cage underneath a log.  Yep, I don't even know what the hell this film is about either.  You're not alone.



A minor setback occurs when Jem projects a Jerrica hologram, and Eric tosses a script to Jerrica - which goes right through her.  And as everyone knows, holograms cannot pick up objects.



Once again, Aja and her brain come to her rescue.  She attacks Pizzazz right where it hurts - her ego - and manages to get Jem out of the cage long enough for her to change into Jerrica so she can hand Eric back his script.  She does this by telling Pizzazz that Jem has more scenes than her, and Pizzazz orders Jem out of the scene.  Good one, Aja!



It's time for the next scene, which involves Jem and Nick running across a spinning log to safety.  I should mention that this log is several feet above the ground and if anyone fell off the log, it would be kersplut all over the stage.  Nick wastes no time in making Jeff do his stunt for him, but Eric reveals that in order for Jem to have a stunt double, it would cost her more money!  Wow...that's not cool, Eric.  And apparently several staffers on the film set agree with me.  Unfortunately, Eric's ego is even bigger than Pizzazz's, and when he is challenged, he fires them all!



So Jem is forced to climb across the spinning log by herself while Eric gleefully salivates at the mouth for the chance to humiliate her.  Interestingly enough, Video takes the time to film the scene as well with her own camera.

Predictably, the log looks as if it's made of styrofoam and fiberglass, and Jem falls through the log to her death.

The end.



No, wait.  Rio comes to the rescue by grabbing a nearby vine and swinging towards a falling Jem, saving her life and impressing Jeff in the process.  Jem is absolutely smitten with Rio and plants a big wet one on him.



And Video is also quite proud of herself...she filmed Jem's accident with her camera, and I don't think that any of the film unions would take too kindly to the fact that one of the top rising stars in the music industry nearly became a glittery pink pancake on the ground.  But why in the hell would she label the tape "JEM'S ACCIDENT"?  Why not just decorate it in neon lights and put arrows all over it?  I know Video's a bit naive, but COME ON!!!

I mean, because of Video's mistake, Clash easily swipes the tape, borrows a magnetic tape eraser, and erases the tape.  Or does she?



Seems as though Video isn't that naive.  The tape that Clash erased actually contained footage that the Misfits shot!  I wonder if Clash will still be the Misfits #1 fan after this? 



Jeff insists on taking the tape to the union right away, but Jem tells him not to, fearing that the film will shut down production leaving her without a way to pay for Ba Nee's operation.  And this in turn angers Rio who tells Jem that she's being an idiot for letting this film continue, which causes Jem to tell Rio to f@#$ off - well...as PG rated as possible, that is.  Despite the tension between Jem and Rio, Jeff agrees not to do anything with the tape, provided that the rest of the film shoot goes smoothly.



Back at Starlight Mansion, Jerrica is tucking Ba Nee in for the night, and Ba Nee's eyesight is fading away each passing day.  Ba Nee flat out asks Jerrica if her eyes will ever get better, and Jerrica makes Ba Nee a promise that she will find a way.  It's really one of the more tender moments in the series so far, and I kind of found myself getting a little misty-eyed.  I know...getting misty-eyed over a cartoon.  What's happening to me?

Meanwhile, Kimber is excited to find out that she has a scene with the fantastic Nick Mann, and as it turns out, her scene takes place in the middle of a deserted field that happens to be filled with step mines.  Wow, way to live dangerously.  But don't worry though.  Having learned his lesson from the Jem fiasco, Eric ensures that Kimber actually has a stunt double this time.



And Kimber might want to substitute her stunt double for the scene.  Nick Mann is acting more like a...well...Dick Mann.  He refuses to give Kimber attention when she arrives.  Furthermore, a teenage fan who just wants Nick's autograph is given the cold shoulder, leaving her in tears and Kimber thinking that Nick's not so great after all.



It fades into another fairly decent Jem and the Holograms song entitled "Love Is Doin' It To Me".  It's a song that illustrates Kimber's confusion brilliantly. 



After the song is over, a disappointed Kimber runs into Jeff, and although she is sort of bummed at first, she perks up when Jeff runs Kimber through the scene, introducing her to the stunt double, and making Kimber understand how special effects are designed.  To Kimber's credit, she's very interested, and even gives Jeff a kiss for good luck!  Aw...Kimber's not as shallow as we thought!



It's too bad that Roxy tries to plant a kiss on Jeff as well - only for Jeff to rebuff her advances.  And since Roxy is the Misfit that seems the most unstable, she decides that Kimber has to pay for coming in between them. 



With help from Clash, they sneak up to the control booth where the special effects technician is ready to detonate the step mines.  With a clash of the cymbals, the technician is temporarily stunned, giving Roxy the chance to play with the equipment.



One problem...at that moment, Eric is directing Kimber to run towards Nick on the motorcycle, and as she runs, the explosions start going off.  Scared out of her wits, Kimber is stunned by the dangerous explosions going off around her, knowing that one false move could turn her into Kimber Tots.



She sees her saviour in Nick...but the coward drives away in fear, leaving Kimber to die in the middle of the field, a horrified Jerrica looking on.




And that dreaded TO BE CONTINUED message pops up again in the melee.  What happens next week?  Does Kimber get fried?  Do Ba Nee's eyes get fixed?  And how does this movie finally end?  The finale of the Starbright saga is just one week away!