So,
I'm only eight episodes into the "Jem Reviewed" series, and I will be
posting the ninth one tomorrow, but I can't help but think that as I watch this
show more and more, I'm reminded by another show.
Mind
you, it's a show that aired long after Jem hung up her microphone - so really,
one might say that this show copied the plot of the other show I'm thinking of
at the moment. But I'll leave that up
to you.
So,
basically the plot of Jem is that Jerrica Benton is the head of Starlight Music
and the owner of Starlight House, and she basically transforms herself into
rock goddess Jem in an attempt to win back the company from evil Eric
Raymond. She succeeds in doing that,
but shortly after that, she becomes this big star, and the rest of the series
has her trying to be two different people with two different identities. Some people find out along the way and put
two and two together, but for the most part she keeps her secret hidden until
the show ends.
Well,
in the case of the show that I will be talking about today, this person also
has two different identities. In one,
she's just a typical high school student trying to learn trigonometry and
algebra. In another, she's the hottest
teenage pop star to break out on the music scene. And much like Jem, she too has a hard time trying to balance the
two personalities.
But
unlike Jem, this person actually DOES reveal who she is towards the end of the
series...and that revelation played a huge role in how the series inevitably
ended.
A
series that aired its final episode in 2011.
But
let's briefly go back to the year 2006 for a bit - when "Hannah
Montana" first debuted on the Disney Channel.
Boy,
do I remember that period. It seemed as
though you couldn't go anywhere without seeing Hannah Montana videos, Hannah
Montana clothing, Hannah Montana dolls...I even remember the automotive
department selling Hannah Montana auto decals and Hannah Montana house keys!
But,
to be fair, it was a pop culture phenomenon for little kids and tweens. And, I have to give Miley Cyrus some
credit. After watching a few episodes
of the show here and there, I do admit she has natural comic timing and she
always did have a good singing voice.
It wasn't enough for me to go out and buy a Hannah Montana album or
plaster Hannah Montana posters on my wall because...well, I was 25 when the
show was at its peak. Do I need any
other reason?
I
can't help but think that when I watch the show some ten years later, it's kind
of a knockoff of Jem and the Holograms.
I mean, no, Hannah Montana didn't have a supercomputer named Synergy to
help her out, but she had a hard time trying to keep her professional life
separate from her private life as high schooler Miley Stewart. Some people, such as her best friend Lilly
(Emily Osment), pal Oliver (Mitchel Musso), brother Jackson (Jason Earles), and
father Robby (played by Miley's own father, Billy Ray Cyrus). But to the rest of the world, she was two
separate people.
Naturally
there were some episodes where this was exploited. Some episodes where Miley Stewart made a date with a guy at a
Hannah Montana concert, some episodes where Miley is bullied by people who
happen to also be Hannah Montana fans...one episode even had her losing her
blonde wig over the side of a cruise ship and contemplating what she should do!
I
wish I was kidding about that last one.
I'm not.
Whatever
the case, Miley Cyrus rode the Hannah Montana train of success for nearly five
years, and the show was popular enough to attract the attention of some
well-known celebrities including Vicki Lawrence, Dolly Parton, Jay Leno, Sheryl
Crow, and Brooke Shields. It even
inspired a full length motion-picture and concert videos.
But
all things eventually come to an end...and the end for Hannah Montana came on
January 16, 2011.
Now,
when Hannah Montana was renewed for a fourth season in 2010-2011, it was
expected that it would be the last one.
After all, Miley Cyrus at that time was eighteen years old and wanted to
focus on a recording career of her own - which I'll talk about a bit later in
this post.
So,
because the decision was made to end the show in early 2011, the creators of
the show wanted to make sure it had a solid series finale. And to plant the seed, they had Miley
Stewart reveal her secret about six episodes before the final episode aired.
And
what was the event that caused the secret to be revealed? Well, for one, because Miley was spending so
much time as Hannah Montana, it prevented her from taking part in
extracurricular activities at school, which in turn had her rejected from every
college she applied for. And there was
the instance in which she was interested in a guy named Jesse who begins to
date her and he figures out that Miley is Hannah on his own. The relationship gets complicated and they
break up because of it. So, fed up with
how keeping two identities was wreaking havoc on her life, she comes clean on
Jay Leno's show where she rips off her wig and plays a song as Miley.
Of
course, with the world knowing the truth, Miley's life is forever changed, and
when it comes down to the finale, Miley must make a huge choice. She can fly to Paris, France to film a movie
role in a big budget blockbuster which will set her up for life...or she can
choose to attend college with Lilly in the fall, and put a hold on her career.
At
first Miley tries to convince Lilly to join her in Paris, and put off college
for a little while, and Lilly almost agrees to do just that. But at the last moment, she changes her
mind, and the two friends separate to begin brand new chapters in their
lives...
...but
the twist is that in the last minute of the show, Miley comes back to the
United States where she becomes Lilly's roommate in the dorms, basically
revealing that at the end of it all, Miley really wanted to experience life as
a regular person.
So,
the ending of Hannah Montana was quite sweet, and many fans of the show saw it
as a perfect ending to the series.
Now,
we all know that since Hannah Montana ended, Miley Cyrus basically took a
shovel to her alter ego, clubbed her to death, and buried her in the Disney
graveyard right next to Shia LeBeouf and Vanessa Hudgens. She cut her hair short, bleached it blonde,
released an album called "Bangerz", and defined the definition of
twerking, courtesy of Robin Thicke and a foam finger.
Here's
the thing. Certainly Miley Cyrus is no
Hannah Montana. But that being said, I
still think that she is a talented individual who despite the controversy she's
found herself in can still rock out a show.
I do think that even though the video had people talking, "Wrecking
Ball" was one of her best singles that she's released. And this upcoming season of "The
Voice", she'll actually be one of the judges in the spinning chairs this time
around. And while some may see this as
a step backwards for the show, I see it as a good call. After all, she's grown up in the music
industry thanks to her father's country music career, and she's been in the
industry herself for a decade. I think
she could be good for the show, but we'll see.
Whatever the case, Hannah Montana had her last
hurrah five years ago...but Miley Cyrus still continues on. No need for her to live in the best of both
worlds any longer.
So,
this is what 35 looks like. Not a whole
lot different from 34, I must say. Or
33. Or, hell, even 32.
I
guess when it comes to birthdays, the more you have, the less traumatic they
are. Though ask me again five years
from now when I turn that nasty number that comes after 39.
Okay,
so I'm 35. Now what?
Well,
let's see what's currently hot in the world of pop culture, shall we?
Let's
see...the #1 song in the nation is...
Panda/DESIIGNER
Nope...never heard of this song before. And, honestly, I don't think I'd want to hear it again. No offense to Desiigner and all of the
rapper's fans...but this song just isn't my cup of tea.
Maybe I'll have better luck with the #1 film at the box office...
CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR
Ah, what a surprise. Another
superhero film. I'm just going to go
out on a limb and say that May is the month of the summer superhero
blockbuster. I think a superhero film
has been #1 on my birthday the last ten years or so.
And, the top television program of the year? Well...we don't know that yet. The 2016-2017 season doesn't begin until
September. But, I imagine it'll be some
reality show like "The Bachelor" or "Dancing With The
Stars" or "The Voice" or something similar.
So, this is what 35 looks like.
I keep trying to not think about the fact that this is the halfway point
to 70. Heck, I'm already finding it
hard to believe that 40 is not too far away!
But you know...thirty-five is shaping up to be a year that is
unlike any other.
For one, it'll be my first full year as a homeowner. Has it been a chore some days? Absolutely.
I've still got some work to do on the inside of the house, I have to eventually
replace half of my roof, and I cringe every time I open up my electricity bill.
THANKS, KATHLEEN WYNNE!
But you know what? Compared to where I
was a year ago, I wouldn't change this experience for anything. I love my home, and I am still pinching
myself, not quite believing that it actually happened. After going through a childhood where I was
bounced around from house to house for various reasons, it's good to have a
permanent spot to chill. I still never
forgot the time when I was five years old, and my family was forced to move out
of the place we called home because a land developer had planned to build a mini
mall where we lived. Several families
lost their homes to "progress".
Instead, what sits there is an empty spot. My childhood home was a paradise. And like the Joni Mitchell song stated, they paved it over to put
up a parking lot. And for years after
that fact, I wondered if I would ever have a place where I could call home -
and a place that nobody could ever take away from me again.
But now...I have a place of my very own that I can do whatever I
want in. I could even dance around in
my underwear if I wanted to.
Not that I actually DO...it's just nice to have that option.
So, that is one thing that I can officially cross off that bucket
list. I now have a home.
And as of right now, that's fine.
It's hard to believe that the vast majority of my classmates have
settled down and started families already.
I know some of them have as many as three kids, and a couple are on
their second spouses. That's fine and
dandy, and I genuinely pleased that they have found what they are looking for.
But one thing I've had to deal with in life is the fact that
everyone is living their life at fast-forward, while I keep experiencing the
"Be Kind, Rewind" syndrome.
It's like my classmates are Blu-Ray players, and here I am living the
Betamax kind of life.
But I've always struggled with social issues. I know for a fact that I have some form of
social anxiety that keeps me from getting to know people because I'm afraid
I'll do something that offends them, or I'll do something that makes them be
mean to me. I suppose that's why it
took me two whole years to even so much as open up to anybody at the store I
work at.
(That's no lie. Just ask
any of my co-workers who were around in 2005.)
I guess my goal for 35 is to try and overcome that social anxiety,
as well as find out the real reasons behind why I appear to be so quirky to
other people. But, I fear that it might
not be that easy.
I've debated on how I wanted to write this down. To be honest with you, I feel ridiculous
expressing something about myself that I don't even know if there is truth to
it in the first place. But I've always
wanted to be completely honest here in this blog, and I know that while not
everybody reads this space, I definitely want to make a few things clear.
I know that since I've been young, my brain has been wired
completely different from how a "normal" brain should work. And, I know that there have been times in
which I've appreciated it, but there are times in which I wanted someone else's
brain.
On one hand, when it comes to how I process information, I don't
seem to have a problem with that. I
have a very good long term memory (which helps in writing this blog, let me
tell you). I always did well in school
when it came down to academics, and I probably have more useless knowledge in
my brain than anyone else in the world.
I'd make a great contestant on "Jeopardy"...well, if that quiz
show would actually accept Canadians again. And, I feel this about that decision...
But on the other hand, I have a hard time cultivating
relationships and friendships.I'm getting
a little better at it, but I know I come across as extremely socially awkward
to a lot of people.And while I'm glad
that the people in my life don't see it too much of a big deal...it wasn't
always the case.
It's also why I have very few friends who are my own age. I always felt like I was competing with them
or comparing myself to them, and I wondered why they found life so easy and
carefree, while I had difficulties of my own.
It really hurt my feelings when my classmates would pretend to be my
friend so I would help them with their homework, only for them to ignore me
when it came time for recess. It almost
made it seem like the only reason people bothered with me at all was so they
could get better grades in school. It
never really dawned on them that they were being incredibly selfish, and that I
had feelings.
I mean, I get that was a personality flaw that they had to deal
with. But it didn't make it any
easier. My entire life up until now has
always been a "Me vs. The World" mentality. I felt ganged up on because I didn't feel like I could measure up
to everyone else. I didn't feel like I
was normal because everyone else made it a point to make it so.
I know in my heart that I do deserve to be happy. I know that I have just as much right to
hold down a job as anyone else (and I have for eleven years and counting). I have as much right to have friends - and
when I say friends, I mean friends who will be there for you all the time - not
just when they need help spelling a word or two or 676. And, yeah...I know I've said before that I
have no interest in finding a romantic partner, or getting married, or having
children...
...but I'm lying to myself.
And you know what? I do have the
right to have all those things if I want them.
But I am not going to lie here.
I know my brain, personality, and even physical appearance is not like
everyone else's...and that's fine. What
a boring world this would be if we were all the same. But I just wish that my quirks in personality didn't result in me
feeling badly about myself for feeling like I don't measure up, or that I
wouldn't make a great partner for someone.
More importantly, I wish my quirks attracted people instead of repelled
them because they are things that I cannot change.
And I don't feel as though I have to because if I do, I wouldn't
be true to myself. And that to me is a
greater sin than having someone else try to change me.
I honestly don't know why I am the way I am. I could just be built that way. I could be as stubborn as my starsign of
Taurus and not change for anyone. It
could even be something deeper such as having some part of my brain not being
able to deal with social situations that well.
It could require treatment for social anxiety. For all I know, I could even be on the autism spectrum and not
have even known it. None of that
matters though.
The fact is that I am a human being, and I deserve to be given the
same love, respect, and kindness that anybody else in this world needs to
have.
So, I guess my goal for 35 is to just accept the fact that when it
comes to making connections and understanding my social awkwardness, I'm going
to have many more barriers than other people.
But I'm not saying this as a way to push anyone away or to get
sympathy. I just want everyone to know
that this is who I am...and if I let you into my life, just know that I think
you're incredibly special, and that you're someone that I genuinely want in it.
It's not easy for me to say it in words...but it's much easier to
write it.
I think I'm going to like
35 a lot. I already feel better about
it just writing this piece!
It's
time for another Tuesday Timeline entry, and while this entry
deviates a bit from the 2011 theme I have had going all month long, it is quite
an interesting topic of discussion. At
least, I'd like to think so anyway.
Before
we get on with the main part of the timeline, we should really see what else
happened in the world on May 17.
1536 - The marriage of Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn
is annulled
1590 - Anne of Demnark is crowned Queen of
Scotland
1792 - The New York Stock Exchange is formed
1849 - St. Louis, Missouri is almost completely
destroyed due to a massive fire sweeping through the city
1865 - The International Telegraph Union is
founded in Paris, France
1875 - The First Kentucky Derby is won by
Aristides
1936 - Actor Dennis Hopper (d. 2010) is born in
Dodge City, Kansas
1938 - Actor Jason Bernard (d. 1996) is born in
Chicago, Illinois
1939 - The first televised sporting event is
broadcast in the United States; a collegiate baseball game held in New York
City
1940 - Brussels, Belgium is occupied by German
troops during World War II
1944 - American-Canadian singer Jesse Winchester
(d. 2014) is born in Bossier City, Louisiana
1950 - Disney film composer Howard Ashman (d.
1991) is born in Baltimore, Maryland
1973 - Televised hearings regarding the Watergate
scandal begin in the United States Senate
1974 - A deadly day in Ireland takes place when
four separate car bombs in Dublin and Monaghan claim the lives of 33 people and
injure 300 more
1990 - The World Health Organization removes homosexuality
from its list of psychiatric diseases
1992 - Variety show host Lawrence Welk dies at
the age of 89
2000 - Riots break out at the 2000 UEFA Cup
Finals between Arsenal fans and Galatasaray fans in Copenhagen, Denmark
2004 - The first legal same-sex marriages are
performed in Massachusetts; actor Tony Randall passes away at the age of 84
2005 - Actor Frank Gorshin passes away, aged 72
2012 - Singer Donna Summer dies of lung cancer at
the age of 63
2013 - Seventy-two people are injured when two
Metro-North commuter trains collide near Bridgeport, Connecticut
2015 - Rival biker gangs in Waco, Texas engage in
a shootout inside a restaurant leaving nine dead and eighteen injured
And
turning one year older are the following famous faces - Ronald Wayne, Gary Paulsen, Grace Zabriskie, Al White, David Simeon, Howard Hampton, Bill Paxton, Sugar Ray Leonard, Bob Saget, Jim Nantz, Simon Fuller, Enya, Craig
Ferguson, Page McConnell, David Eigenburg, Mauro Martini, Rob Pruitt, Trent Reznor, Hill Harper, Tabatha Coffey, Alan Doyle, Thom Filicia, Jordan Knight, Sasha Alexander, Steve Barakatt, Josh Homme, Andrea Corr, Kandi Burruss, Tony Parker, Derek Hough, Tahj Mowry, and Daniel Curtis Lee.
So,
since we aren't going back to 2011 in this entry, what year will we be looking
at instead?
Well, how about we go back in time 27 years?
May 17, 1989.
This
would have been right around my 8th birthday, and I think what I was doing that
day was learning about the solar system in second grade, likely reading a
Jughead comic book or two, and watching a couple of episodes of "Teenage
Mutant Ninja Turtles" on television.
But
while I was watching the Ninja Turtles, something else was going on in the
world of television. Particularly on
MTV, to be precise.
May
17, 1989 was the date that a particular music video debuted, and let's just say
that the video itself was a masterpiece.
If you remember what music videos were like when MTV debuted in 1981,
you'd think that watching this music video in 1989 was like nothing you had
ever seen before.
And
it wasn't.
What
if I told you that this music video was the most expensive video ever made in
the 1980s? That's impressive
right? And what if I told you that this
video was the third most expensive music video of all time? That would be even more impressive.
Most
impressive of all? Of the top ten most
expensive music videos ever made, this woman has made three of them!
So,
who is this singer? And what's the
music video?
Today we'll be talking about Madonna, and her music video for "Express
Yourself", the David Fincher directed masterpiece based on the 1927 film
"Metropolis" that still holds up twenty-seven years later.
The
cost of the music video? Well, back in
1989, it cost a cool five million. If
you adjust that into 2016 money, it would have cost close to nine million had
it been made today! Back in 1989, some
full length motion pictures didn't even have a five million dollar budget!
But
Madonna certainly did have the money.
Thanks to her brief endorsement with Pepsi (and I do mean brief), she
pocketed the five million to pay for the production of the video for
"Express Yourself".
The
composition for the song began in 1988 - just after Madonna wrapped up
production on the film "Who's That Girl". At that time, she was working on songs for her fourth album
"Like A Prayer", and to say that 1988 was a difficult year for
Madonna would be an understatement. She
was undergoing problems in her marriage to actor Sean Penn (they would divorce
in 1989), and she was having conflicts with her religious convictions, and she
was trying to find a way to deal with the paparazzi and having every aspect of
her life placed under a microscope. And
certainly all of that angst and emotion can be heard throughout the entirety of
"Like A Prayer", with some calling it her best album that she has
ever released.
"Express
Yourself" was the first single that Madonna worked on for the album, and
she was inspired by funk band Sly & The Family Stone when recording the
single with producer Stephen Bray (who had worked with Madonna on her
"True Blue" album in 1986).
In Bray's version, the single does have a nice throwback to the late
1960s funk and soul vibe that seemed to dominate the music charts back
then. In the music video version, the
song was remixed by Shep Pettibone (who also mixed "Vogue",
"Erotica", "Deeper and Deeper", and "Rain",
amongst other Madonna songs), but the remix seemed to blend in well with the
theme of the video. (And you can listen to the remixed version by clicking HERE.)
That
theme, of course, is female empowerment, and not settling for second best.As Madonna explained in this 1989 article
featured in Interview magazine...
"The
ultimate thing behind the song is that if you don't express yourself, if you
don't say what you want, then you're not going to get it. And in effect, you are chained down by your
inability to say what you feel or go after what you want. No matter how in control you think you are
about sexuality in a relationship there is always the power struggle...always a
certain amount of compromise. Of being beholden,
if you love them. You do it because you
choose to. No one put the chain around
this neck but me. I wrote 'Express
Yourself' to tell women around the world that pick and choose the best for
yourself before that chain around your neck kills you instead. It's my take on how man can express what
they want, the same prerogative should be there for a woman too."
Now,
this explains that scene where Madonna is lying on a bed naked with a chain
around her neck. It's just one of the
messages that Madonna wanted to present with the video. I'll admit that I was maybe 11 or 12 before
I saw this video for the first time, and I was confused as heck by it. Men doing push-ups in the rain, cats running
all over the place, Madonna pouring milk over her shoulder...all these scenes
did not make sense to a young kid, but as an adult, I totally get it.
I
find it funny that before Madonna came around that factory that every worker
there was working like clockwork, and once she picked the man that she wanted
to have sex with, the factory shut down and erupted into chaos. Maybe she had more control than anyone
thought!
Whatever
the case, it took a lot of work to put the video together, and here's some
behind the scenes facts that you might not know regarding the filming of this
video, courtesy of text transcripts of Madonna's interviews, as well as Pop-Up
Video!
1
- There were a total of three different
cats used in the filming of this video.
2
- The man that Madonna chose to get to
know better is played by model Cameron Alborzian.
3 -
Madonna hated filming the scene where she had to pour milk all over herself -
but she decided to do it because it was what David Fincher wanted to make the
shot look good. In the end, she agreed
that she was glad to have let him win that argument.
4 -
This isn't the first video that David Fincher directed for Madonna. He also directed "Vogue" and
"Bad Girl".
5 -
At the time she filmed "Express Yourself", she was also working on
"Dick Tracy" with Warren Beatty - whom Madonna had a relationship
with. She had asked Warren to play the
role of one of the workers, but Beatty refused.
6
- After its May 17, 1989 debut on MTV,
the video was placed on extremely heavy rotation - played at least once an hour
for three weeks straight!
7 -
Despite the promotion and cost of the video, "Express Yourself"
stalled at #2 on the Billboard Charts.
8 -
Madonna simulated Michael Jackson's dance style in one scene of the video. You'll know it when you see it.
9 -
The video won three MTV Video Music Awards.
When it comes down to it, Madonna expressed
herself in this video the way that no other female artist had done before. It was something fresh and new, and
delivered a positive message, not just for women, but for everyone. This was the period in which Madonna was
clearly at her best. And to think that
this video was released twenty-seven years ago today!
Have
any of you out there had a teacher that was incredibly bad?
I
can tell you quite a few horror stories about bad teachers. Like the computer teacher in ninth grade who
I suspect was on the...how you say...wacky tobaccy during class. Or, the history teacher who seemed to take
delight in salivating over the historical figures who caused pain and misery to
the general public. Or the first grade
teacher who humiliated you in class because you preferred to walk on your toes.
Certainly
in this world are teachers who are absolutely horrible to their students and
certainly should never be placed in a classroom setting. Ever.
But
what about teachers who are perceived to be bad by everyone else, but by the
time you have them they end up being among one of the best teachers you've ever
had? I seem to recall having one of
these teachers when I was in elementary school. Everyone told me that the woman who taught French was scary and
evil and yelled at kids in her classroom, and when we learned we'd have her for
French instruction in the fifth grade, I was a little nervous. But she was one of the few teachers who
actually seemed to give a damn about me, and made me feel comfortable learning
a second language.
And
yes...she did yell at students - but they were misbehaving in class. They had it coming.
Well,
for today's flashback to 2011, I'm going to be taking a look at the movie
"Bad Teacher". It was a movie
that while it scored mixed reviews by critics - I'll be the first to admit that
I loved it.
Then
again, for some reason, there's not too many films featuring Cameron Diaz that
I DON'T like. I know, she's one of
those actresses that cause bi-polar reactions.
Some absolutely loathe her, but I like her. Maybe it was her stint as Princess Fiona in Shrek that cemented
it.
So,
as mentioned, Cameron Diaz plays the role of Elizabeth Halsey, a junior high
school teacher who basically does everything that a teacher probably shouldn't
do. You know, things like dropping
F-bombs during class, or showing movies in an attempt to get out of
teaching. Things like that. Mind you, students like myself would have
loved having a teacher like that, but we wouldn't have learned much.
But
that's okay because teaching has never really been Elizabeth's passion
anyway. She's more interested in
getting hitched to her rich boyfriend and living the lifestyle that
gold-digging women like her feel they deserve.
Hate
her already, don't you?
Well, when she gets dumped after he puts two and two together - ironically
something she should have taught her class - Elizabeth is now forced to do the
one thing she hates the most. Teach.
Of
course, Elizabeth soon discovers a new incentive to stay at the school when she
meets substitute teacher Scott Delacorte (Justin Timberlake), and she pretty
much degrades herself even more by throwing herself at him at every
opportunity. The fact that he is the
heir to a watch manufacturing company makes him that much more desirable.
There's
just a couple of things standing in Elizabeth's way. And believe me when I say that there are two major obstacles in
her path.
See,
she learns that Scott's last girlfriend had gigantic breasts, and Elizabeth
does not. Therefore, she makes the
really stupid conclusion that if she gets her breasts enlarged, it will make
Scott fall in love with her. A plan
that seems to be ridiculed by school gym teacher Russell Gettis (Jason Segel),
but that's only because Russell himself has a crush on Elizabeth, and wants to
get her attention even though Elizabeth snubs him for being a gym teacher.
And
then there's Amy Squirrel (Lucy Punch), a teacher who basically exhibits all
the characteristics of a person who loves their job and who has dedicated their
life to teaching - and who also happens to develop a crush on Scott...and who
has resentment against Elizabeth because she somehow manages to stick around at
the school despite breaking nearly every rule in the book.
So
we have our plot. Elizabeth hates
teaching and wants to impress a guy by getting money for new boobs. Scott likes Elizabeth, but likes Amy
more. Russell likes Elizabeth, but
can't seem to get her attention because Elizabeth is smitten over Scott. And in between all of that are a group of
kids who don't seem to be learning anything other than to be a shallow,
insecure adult.
Now
you know why this movie is called "Bad Teacher"!
But
as the movie progresses, things change.
Elizabeth starts to develop a new appreciation for teaching, and her
feelings shift from one person to another.
Sure, she still breaks the rules and engages in some pretty
unprofessional behaviour to raise the money for the breast enhancement surgery,
but she eventually does come to see the error of her ways. Someone else in the film gets a major
comeuppance as well, and while it's someone you might not expect, it's still
strangely satisfying to see.
If you haven't seen this film yet, definitely
make it a point to do so. It may not
have been one of the best films of 2011, but it is far from being the worst.
When
I think back to 2011 during the year of music, I think of several artists who
made an impact during that year.
Britney Spears made a comeback with "Hold It Against Me". Lady Gaga told everyone that they should be
happy to be "Born This Way".
And, yes...even Justin Bieber managed to convince people to sneak
underneath the "Mistletoe" with him.
But
2011 was a really big year for singer Katy Perry.
Remember
how she released the album "Teenage Dream" back in 2010? Well, nobody knew it at that time, but that
album would be considered one of Katy's best efforts, and helped her break at
least one record and tie another one.
And
honestly, it's a really great record.
As
someone who has found pop music to be quite lackluster over the last two
decades, I would have to say that "Teenage Dream" was a rare bright
spot in the playlists of cover versions, sampled songs, and songs that
basically repeated the same words over and over again.
I'm
looking at you Wiz "Black and Yellow" Khalifa.
Back
to "Teenage Dream", the album is considered (at least in my opinion)
to be a pop masterpiece. The title
track is sultry and sexy, "Firework" is a great self-esteem booster,
and "California Gurls" is a song that could still be played at summer
gatherings today! Even weaker songs
such as "E.T." could still be considered great compared to some of
the stuff that came out around this time.
And
of course, there's this song - the topic of today's Sunday Jukebox post. Looking back on it, I should have posted it
on Friday instead, but whatever...it's still going to work.
ARTIST: Katy Perry SONG: Last Friday
Night (T.G.I.F.) ALBUM: Teenage
Dream
DATE RELEASED: June 6, 2011
PEAK POSITION ON THE BILLBOARD CHARTS: #1 for 2 weeks
This
song was the song that engraved Katy Perry's name into the history books for
pop music forever.
You
see, all of the songs that I had mentioned previously in this blog post all
reached the top of the charts between the summer of 2010 and the summer of
2011. This was the fifth single release
from "Teenage Dream" to reach the top spot on the Billboard
Charts. This tied a record that was
first achieved by Michael Jackson all the way back in the 1980s!
But
in her own right, Katy Perry broke a record and set the stage for women
everywhere to challenge her, as she became the first female to have five
singles from the same album reach #1.
Nobody else had done it before, and as of 2016, nobody has come close to
breaking the record. Not Adele. Not Meghan Trainor. Not even Madonna!
Don't judge me. You
probably did the same thing last Friday night!
Well, according to Miss Katy Perry herself - the song was based on
a real life chain of events one night in Santa Barbara, California!
In an interview that she did on MTV back in the summer of 2011,
Perry admits that they went to a club called Wildcat where they drank a little
bit too much, danced erratically on the dance floor, did a little disrobing at
a nearby park, and took the party to the hotel where Katy was staying at! I can only imagine the poor guests who were
on the same floor as Katy's entourage not getting the greatest night's rest!
And can we just talk about the explosion of colour that the music
video brought to our eyes? It may not
be the greatest video that Perry has ever done (in my opinion, "California
Gurls" and "Firework" were much more creative), but it's got a
lot of references to the decade that Katy was born. I know being a child of the 1980s myself, I can definitely pick
out some of the cameos by top notch entertainers back in the day. Debbie Gibson and Corey Feldman played the parents
of Katy's alter ego, Kathy Beth Terry.
And although he doesn't play the saxophone solo in the song, Kenny G
does a convincing job...sax synching?
Is that the proper term for it?
Whatever. I'm going with it.
But it's not just the 1980s that are represented. Look closely, and you might see Hanson
Mmmbopping their way through a scene in the video. "Glee" star Darren Criss appears at the very beginning
of the video as a party guest who informs Kathy Beth Terry about the debauchery
that went on that Friday night. And in
an attempt to grasp onto her fifteen minutes of fame, "Friday" singer
Rebecca Black appears alongside Katy Perry and they play a rousing game of
"Just Dance"!
TRIVIA: The home where the
video is shot belongs to John Schneider - otherwise known as Bo Duke.
And, of course, the video's plot is one that has been recycled
from a standard teen film from the 1980s.
A nerdy girl is interested in the hunky football star, but the football
jock won't have anything to do with her because she's dressed like one of the
nerd extras hanging out at The Max in "Saved By The Bell". So, Rebecca Black gives her a makeover and
she turns into this perfectly preppy princess that almost everyone in acid-wash
jeans would want to get with. It's a
little cheesy, but the whole song is meant to be fun anyway, so I can overlook
it.
And besides...the video was good enough for it to win the
Favourite Music Video Award at the People's Choice Awards in 2012, And in a nice bit of cross promotion, when
the video achieved more than 500,000 likes on YouTube, Perry released a video
of an interview that she did with pop culture website "Digital Spy"
where she gave the interview in character as Kathy Beth Terry!
It's been nearly five years since she's released this song that
earned her a spot in pop music history forever. What's she done since then?
Well, she divorced her husband in 2012, she released the album
"Prism" one year later, and performed at the Super Bowl halftime show
in 2015.
And as of late, there's been
a little bit of controversy going on with her surrounding Taylor Swift and
Selena Gomez. It's alleged that Taylor
Swift wrote the song "Bad Blood" about her former friendship with
Perry, and more recently, there's been talk of Katy's boyfriend, Orlando Bloom,
cheating on her with Selena Gomez. But
so far, Katy's kept quiet regarding that one.
Still...it's been a couple of years since Katy's released new music. I think it's time for her to start recording
again!
And,
what I mean by scars, I mean actual scars.
Not the evil antagonist from Disney's "The Lion King".
How
many of you have a scar? Or how many of
you have had several scars? Do you hide
them, or do you show them off with pride?
I myself boast a total of four scars...but only three of them are visible on my
body.
The
first one is so tiny that you can hardly see it. But when I was a year old, I ended up with a scar next to my left
eye. How I got the scar remains
debatable. I assumed it was when our
family dog tried to bite off my face, but my parents seem to think I banged it
on the side of a coffee table. Either
way, the scar's there.
The
second scar I got was when I was around three years old. It's also the scar you can't see because my
hair covers it. But I fell on a
playground slide and bashed my head on the bottom of it. I don't know whether this incident triggered
my fear of heights or not.
And when I was eleven - once again, on a slide - I slid down the wrong way and
ended up with several pebbles embedded into my left knee. The pebbles were removed, but I was left
with four circular scars as a result of it due to the fact that I was wearing
shorts at the time.
And,
of course...my most recent scar also happens to be the largest scar of
all. If you're squeamish about scars,
you have my permission to stop reading this post. But here's a picture of it.
I
measured it. It measures exactly twelve
inches across. And keeping with the
theme, I received this scar five years ago in February 2011.
Now,
I've talked about how I got the scar before here. That was when my liver tried to marry my infected gall bladder,
and how the doctors decided to permanently annul the union because that marriage
would have resulted in my funeral.
But I do have a moment immediately after that incident took place that has me
grateful that I have the scar...and sad that I had some emotional scars that
came a couple of years after said event.
So,
anyway, my surgery was on February 12, 2011, and for that entire day, I was
totally out of it. Seriously, my
surgery took six hours.
And
the rest of the night (I came out of my surgery induced coma around 6:30 in the
evening - my surgery started at 12:45), I was in a morphine induced haze with a
blood transfusion hooked up to one arm, and a catheter attached...well...yeah,
you don't need to know. It was
definitely the ugliest that I believe I have ever looked.
And
I survived the chicken pox.
Over
the next two days, I engaged in such thrilling activities as attempting to sit
in a chair (and failing miserably due to the blood loss from surgery), getting
three separate blood transfusions (where I learned my blood type is O!), and
basically just lying around doing a whole lot of nothing.
Oh,
sure...my family was able to come and visit me for a little bit. But since I was in the Step Down unit (which
was the area where once critical patients stabilized), family members were the
only ones permitted to see me. So, it
made for a rather boring experience. If
I could, I would have had my Nintendo DS hooked up, but they tend to frown upon
video games in the Step Down wing.
So,
imagine my surprise when a non-family member came in out of the blue to see how
I was doing!
I recognized him right away. It was my
co-worker, Graham. He and I worked in
the dairy department and I had known him at that time for five years. We were really close friends, and whenever
we got the chance to hang out at work, he would play cards with me in the break
room, or he'd tell lots of funny jokes, or he'd just listen to me vent about
things. He never always had the right
answers, but he always had time to listen.
I'll
leave out the part where he tried to get me drunk at Boston Pizza. The joke was on him though. My alcohol tolerance level was quite high!
Anyway,
I was happy to see Graham, but I had no idea how he managed to sneak into the
Step Down Unit to come visit me! I'm
guessing he told the nurses that I was a relative of his or something like
that...I honestly don't know. I never
did find out how he did it, but it doesn't matter now. The fact that he took the time to come and
see me when I was at my worst really meant a lot to me, and I think that was
the day that really cemented our friendship.
Two
weeks later, I was released from the hospital, and it took another month before
I was given the all clear to return to work.
And, over the next two and a half years, my bond with Graham
strengthened, and he quickly went from becoming my good friend to my best
friend at work. I knew he would always
be there for me, and I knew I was always going to be there for him.
At
least, that's what I wanted to believe.
You
see...Graham passed away in November 2013.
He was just one month shy of his 44th birthday. And, I'm not going to lie...his passing
broke my heart.
My
best friend was now gone. It was bad
enough that our friend and mutual co-worker Alex had died a year earlier. To lose Graham too was just too much. It's been two and a half years since his
passing, and I still think about him every day. And every single time, I remember how he came to the hospital to
see how I was doing because he truly cared about me.
I
never really had a whole lot of people in my life who really gave a stuff about
me. Graham was one of those rare people
who really loved life and who really loved people. He had so much to give to the world, and part of me thinks it is
so unfair that he had such a short time on this planet.
I
never had a friend like Graham before.
And now that he's gone, I fear that I may not meet a friend like him
ever again. But, I know that Graham
would not want me to feel sad for him, nor would he want me to stop living the
rest of my life.
I
survived five years ago because I was meant to. What that meaning is...I'm still trying to decide. But one thing is for sure, I never forgot
that day. Because while I did end up
with a huge scar across my chest...I did find out the true value of
friendship...and it's absolutely priceless.
This
is the conclusion of the "Starbright" saga for Jem Reviewed. As you might remember from
last week, Jem and the Holograms had to come back to the movie set they quit to
raise money for Ba Nee's eye operation.
And The Misfits did everything to sabotage them. But when one goes too far, it's Kimber that
is at risk of losing her life.
Let's
not wait any longer. Time for Episode 8 - Starbright: Rising Star!
So
after Nick...ahem...Dick Mann abandons Kimber to die in a movie set that is
blowing up, Jerrica is worried that she will lose her truly outrageous little
sister.
Fortunately,
Jeff Wright - who is more of a man than our fearful star of the movie - leaps
onto his motorcycle, drives through the explosions, rescues Kimber, and manages
to leap out of the path of danger before he and Kimber get seriously hurt.
Though,
Jeff's motorcycle doesn't make it. Must
be an American model.
Although
Kimber isn't physically harmed, she is visibly shaken, and Jeff takes her to
the first aid trailer for a check-up.
Meanwhile, Dick Mann has the audacity to congratulate Jeff on some
killer stunt work, making no mention of Kimber or showing concern for either of
them. Aja grabs a motorcycle helmet,
shoves it hard into Dick's gut, and tells him to stick his fat head into that
with a sarcastic "hero" tacked onto the end of it.
Yep. It's official. I LOVE Aja!
Aja
and Shana later stand in front of Jerrica as she transforms into Jem - because
when it comes down to delivering the smackdown, Jem certainly has more cojones
than Jerrica could even dream of having.
And certainly when it comes to confronting Eric Raymond about what
happened to Kimber, Jem will take no prisoners.
Of
course, the Misfits refuse to take the blame - even though Clash pretty much
gives it away with her stupid cymbal bracelets - and Jem, Aja, and Shana quit
the film again, with Jem stating that although her own life is worth falling
through papier mache logs, she won't let Kimber be barbecued in the middle of a
desert...or something like that. I
assume that Kimber quits by proxy, since she's still recovering from nearly
being turned into a french fry.
Rio
also quits the project, nearly killing Eric in the process. Ah, there's quintessential Rio, flexing his
muscles and proving how much of a man he is.
Can you tell I'm NOT a Rio fan?
But
here's where things get very interesting.
One by one, the film crew - who has taken the brunt of Eric's abuse as
well as catering to the spoiled Misfits - walk off the set as well, stating
that they can do better than this film.
There are a few holdouts like Georgia the grudge holder and Dick Mann,
but most of the crew leaves, causing Eric to struggle to finish the film.
Meanwhile,
it looks like Kimber is going to be just fine, and Jeff stays with her to make
sure. Kimber decides that she is going
to have to choke down some humble pie and apologize for how badly she treated
him, and that she really wants to give him a chance. Judging by this picture, I think Jeff accepts.
Back
at Starlight Mansion, Jerrica is reading Ba Nee a bedtime story, and as you can
see from this screenshot, Ba Nee's eyes are getting much worse. Just another reminder of how depressing this
storyline is. After reading Ba Nee the
story, Aja notices that Jerrica is very sad, and Jerrica is sad, given that she
doesn't have the money to pay for Ba Nee's operation. But fear not. She has a
plan.
It's
Showtime Synergy once more, and Jem and Aja head downstairs - where most of the
film crew waits. It turns out that Jem
has an idea. They'll make their own
film with a limited budget to compete against the Misfits film at the box
office. Great idea! WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST DO THAT TWO EPISODES
AGO?!?
It
does have merit. Anthony Julien
mentions that they shot Jem's first video on a shoestring budget. Yeah, but that first video was
"Twilight In Paris", which was shot in Paris. You shut up, Julien. Other than that, the ideas are great. They can film scenes at Starlight Mansion
and Starlight Music. Jem and the
Holograms will record all the music.
Danielle DuVoisin will make the costumes. And amazingly, all of the crew members offer their services for
free! I see the warm fuzzies behind the
idea, but don't these people have mortgages?
Whatever. Starbright lives! Jem says so. And let's celebrate
with a song!
Only
- "Putting It All Together" is a really BAD song! Even the video lacks creativity. I mean, they could have used "Gettin'
Down To Business" from episode three for this scene and it would have
worked. Oh well, they can't all be
winners.
Video
arrives late for the meeting and is outside setting up her equipment when Clash
pulls up in her car taunting her. It's
also through this exchange that we learn that Clash's real name is Constance
Montgomery! I guess it fits, since
she's a constance...ahem...constant pain.
Luckily,
the actress that plays Clash is anything but.
In today's piece of Jem Trivia, I reveal that Clash is
voiced by Cathy Cavadini - who also voices Blossom on "The Powerpuff
Girls"!
And,
of course, Chatterbox Video lets Clash know that Jem is doing her own
movie. Naturally, the Misfits get wind
of Jem's latest move, and they are none too pleased by it. But Pizzazz has a plan. She convinces Georgia to give Clash a
makeover so that she can sneak onto the set of Jem's movie to sabotage it. Georgia starts to show some hesitation, but
Pizzazz threatens her. And this is the
person that Georgia wants to DEFEND?
Whatever
the case, Georgia transforms Clash into Debbie Gibson, and I have to say that I
can see why Georgia is a make-up artist.
She really made Clash unrecognizable.
Lindsey
Pearce comes to Starlight Music to get some news on the Jem Project, and Howard
Sands confirms that the film has a small budget, but a lot of heart. Rio blabbers on about how he's the leading
man of the film because his ego needs massaging. Kimber and Aja reiterate the fact that nobody on the crew is
taking a salary. And Jerrica reveals
that the soundtrack album for the movie will be released soon with all proceeds
going towards the Starlight Girls - because if she mentioned that she was
getting the money for Ba Nee, she'd have eleven other girls seething.
It
seems like Project: Starbright is going very well. I wonder how the Misfits movie is doing?
Well,
at that moment, director Eric Raymond is absolutely angered at the fact that
Pizzazz has brought on several orangutans and other creatures for the film
shoot. Okay, so far the Misfits movie
contains a scene in outer space, a Mad Max inspired terrain, a Las Vegas
casino, and now a jungle. This movie
sounds more bizarre than "Spice World".
But,
I suppose the Misfits needed all those animals for their next video, which is
coming on in T-minus 5, 4, 3...
I think it's funny that the Misfits released a song called "Welcome to the
Jungle" a full year before Guns 'N Roses released their version. But I must say, I do enjoy this one. That's to the credit of Ellen Bernfield, who
does Pizzazz's vocals. She really
delivers in this song.
Unfortunately,
Dick Mann doesn't really deliver in his performance. After getting spooked by a lion, Dick freaks out and
throws Pizzazz into a lagoon, making her scream loudly and whatever remaining
crew is at the movie burst into laughter.
Dick Mann takes out his frustration on Eric Raymond and whines that he
was supposed to be the star of the show with JEM, and quits the film. Oh, I wish Nelson Muntz was around with a
Ha-Ha right about now.
Clash
successfully infiltrates the soundstage of the Starbright Movie and does some
minor sabotage, such as stealing costumes, lighting equipment, etc. But when she overhears a conversation
between Jeff and Video about the video tape of Jem's accident, Clash knows that
she must get that tape back at all costs.
Back
at the Misfits set, it seems as though the Misfits have become even more
obnoxious, and their terrible attitudes are causing more staff members to
flee. Even Georgia has seen the band's
true colours, and she walks off the set as well!
And,
where does Georgia go? Crawling back to
the Starbright set and begging Jem and the others to forgive her for how badly
she treated them. Now, given Georgia's
bad attitude, I wouldn't blame Jem for telling her to go fly a kite. But Jem decides that Georgia is worth
keeping around, and tells her that she's more than welcome to help.
The
first thing Georgia does to help is out Clash!
When Georgia notices that Clash is stealing the videotape of Jem's
accident from Video's camera bag. she recognizes her handiwork a mile away! Furthermore, the rest of the crew have
noticed the things that are missing, and Jem and the Holograms put two and two
together.
Clash
runs outside, hops into her car and thus launches the second high speed car
chase of the series just eight episodes in.
Clash drives like a maniac, and she almost succeeds in killing Jem and
the others by having them nearly get into an accident.
But
Jem realizes that she has a supercomputer on her side, and with help of the
JemStar earrings, she projects a hologram of a fallen oak tree across the street
that Clash is on, which causes her to spin out of control. Nice idea for stopping the car, but I'm just
saying that had she flipped the car and died, Jem would technically be charged
with manslaughter at the very least.
But
let's not think about that. Clash is
apprehended, the stuff is recovered, and Jeff rushes the tape to the movie
unions. Gee, I wonder how Pizzazz will
react to this news?
I'm guessing not well.
It's
time for the final scene to be shot for the Starbright Movie, and it's essentially
a love scene between Jem and Rio. It's
a great display of walls of flowers, Jem's acting, and Rio's jealousy. They have a minor argument in character, and
nearly meet for their on-screen kiss when...
...oh,
sweet Jesus...what is DICK MANN doing there?
Okay, I can maybe tolerate the Holograms giving Georgia another shot,
but if Jem gives him another shot, this movie just may as well be shelved. Even Rio threatens to quit the film if Dick
comes back, which tells me that sometimes Rio can be just as much of a dick as
he is.
Ah,
but fear not. Jem has a plan. Taking lessons from Aja about how to hit
someone where it hurts, Jem simultaneously strokes his ego while stabbing it at
the same time. First she offers him a
bit part, which makes him seethe. And
then when she announces that he will be working for free like everybody else,
that makes Dick Mann prove how much of a dick he really is, and he storms off
like a petulant child. And somewhere on
the radio, Steam is singing "Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye".
Actually,
that sounds like a good idea. The scene
concludes with Jem and Rio kissing, wrapping up the shoot as well as the video
for the wonderful song, "People Who Care".
"People
Who Care" is really the first ballad that Jem and the Holograms have
done...and while it does come across as a little cheesy...it's quite a nice
song. I like it.
That's
a wrap, everyone!
And,
contrary to what this screenshot implies, Ashley doesn't become a lesbian. I think it's supposed to be a hug...it's
just badly drawn.
Meanwhile,
Pizzazz is lying on a sofa musing about how wonderful it is to be rich, famous,
and gorgeous, and at first I'm thinking that this is just a normal day for
Pizzazz...but it's actually a scene for their film. Nice to see their modesty translating onto the big screen!
But
their scene is interrupted by a group of people from the director's guild,
acting guild, stuntman union, and some other Hollywood groups. I don't know what they are, as I'm quite
distracted by that one guy's mustache.
I mean, seriously...I've never seen one quite like it! And because of all of the violations that
were captured by Video's camera, the unions have put a stop to all filming! Eric is notably upset, but the rest of the
Misfits don't seem to really care.
Pizzazz was getting tired of the work anyway, and boasts that they have
enough footage anyway. Oh, I just love
it when you can sense disaster right away!
Not
even Harvey Gabor seems to take pride in his daughter's moves. Furious by the fact that the film's budget
has ballooned and appalled by the way that the staff members were treated by
them, Harvey Gabor sells the studio out from Pizzazz's control and makes Howard
Sands the new studio head. Cue the
temper tantrums from the Misfits!
Ba Nee's operation is up next, and we learn just how serious the situation
is. There's the possibility that Ba
Nee's surgery won't work - which is bad enough - but Jerrica was forced to put
up Starlight Mansion as collateral for the surgery! If they don't get the money raised by a specific time, Jerrica
could lose Starlight Mansion, which means that the Starlight Girls will be
homeless. Again.
And now, here we are. The premieres of both "Starbright" and "The Misfits
Make It Big"! Although Shana is concerned at the large line outside of
the Misfits movie, Kimber is more optimistic.
The
Misfits arrive in a limo for their premiere, and their fans want them to give
them autographs. Stormer at least
attempts to try and get back, but Pizzazz and Roxy act like diva snobs.
It
appears as though the running time for the Misfits movie is slightly shorter
than Starbright, and the fans that are still in line for the second showing of
the film are eager to know what it was like.
To
nobody's surprise, the moviegoers hated the Misfits film. They said it was awful, it stunk, there was
no Jem. Part of me really wanted Hasbro
to release versions of both films so that we could have a say in which film was
better. And, also I want to see just
how much of a trainwreck the Misfits movie was!
Meanwhile,
the people who saw Starbright loved the movie.
They really loved it! They love
it so much, they want to see it again!
And so do the people across the street at the Misfits movie!
To
the shock of Pizzazz, Roxy, and Stormer, everyone runs over to the Starbright
movie, and Jem and the others celebrate happily! At this rate, I'd say that the girls should easily have the
quarter of a million dollars to pay for Ba Nee's surgery.
See? What did I tell you?
And,
this episode ends with Jerrica treating Ba Nee to a special screening of
Starbright at Starlight Mansion - a movie that Ba Nee remarks is the best thing
she's ever seen. I'm guessing this
takes place weeks after Ba Nee's surgery.
At least, I assume, anyway.
So,
what have we learned? You can have a
big box office movie without spending a bundle. People will stand by you if you treat them with respect. And, never use papier mache to make a
log. Seriously, this three-parter is
absolutely well done, and I can see why so many fans list these episodes as
their favourites.
Next
week, the girls take part in a World Hunger Shindig. And the Misfits want to satisfy their hunger by honing in on the
action. Maybe they just need a Snickers
bar...