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Friday, May 20, 2016

Jem Reviewed: Episode 9 - The World Hunger Shindig

Previously on Jem Reviewed, the Holograms overtook the Misfits in the movie wars, and Ba Nee got her eyesight restored.  And this week, we get a chance to see Jem and the Holograms try to make a difference by raising awareness for famine.

It's also the first episode that does NOT have a second part to it!



Time for Episode 9:  The World Hunger Shindig.

A little background before we begin.  This episode originally aired in 1986 - right around the time of the concert benefit era to eradicate world hunger.  It was the time in which we had Farm-Aid, Live-Aid, Band-Aid, USA for Africa, Northern Lights, etc, etc.  So, the timing of this episode is appropriate.

The setting of the episode is Houston, Texas, and The World Hunger Shindig is taking part in Houston's Astrodome.  Great, a cartoon that establishes real world landmarks in real world cities.  A touch of realism is always appreciated.



The World Hunger Shindig is being presented by none other than Miss Sally Brand and Miss Ellen Sue Tanner, who have a little bit of a bet going on between them.  Ellen Sue gives Miss Sally a challenge to raise eight million dollars for the hunger relief fundraiser - which might seem like pocket change given that Jerry Lewis raised nearly nine times that amount for his kids during the telethons he used to host for muscular dystrophy.  Nevertheless, Miss Sally accepts the bet and pulls her trump card out.



You know, I've said that the more I watch this show, the more mature that Jem and the Holograms' songs are.  This is a case where this is true.  "We Can Make A Difference" is a wonderful song with a wonderful message.  Consider this their own version of "We Are The World", if you will.  And at this point, I think I like the idea of Jem doing more ballads.



After the song is over, Rio and Jem meet up with Miss Sally and an oil investor named C.B. Dodd who is looking to invest in a record company.  Miss Sally is pleased to meet them, but she is wondering where Jerrica is.  This prompts Jem to summon a taxi cab hologram of Jerrica to arrive at Miss Sally's manor, which switches places with Jem.  So now Jem is the hologram leaving in the hologram cab, and Jerrica is the flesh and blood person.  Got all that?



I should also mention that since this is a benefit concert, Jem and the Holograms aren't the only ones performing.  One of the headliners happens to be budding teen idol from Britain, Sean Harrison!  And right off the bat, Kimber is smitten over the dulcet tones of Sean's obviously exaggerated British accent.

I say this because in this installment of Jem Trivia, Sean Harrison is voiced by actor Dan Gilvezan - an American.

I think it's sweet that Kimber's found love so soon after Jeff Wright...I mean, that whole period between episodes 8 and 9 must have been so horrible for our flame haired love goddess.  And yes, that's sarcasm.



Of course, no episode of Jem would be complete without the Misfits barging in on the action.  This time however, Eric has a legitimate reason for being there.  Somehow, he's managed to convince Miss Sally to hire him as the official promoter of The World Hunger Shindig, and that's the only reason he's there - or so he tells Miss Sally.  The Misfits just happen to be there because they want to perform in the concert as well.  Problem is, Miss Sally already has the line-up prepared for the live album to be released later, and they can only be on the album if another rock band drops out.

You can smell where this is going a mile away, can't you?



Oh, and it turns out that Pizzazz has a little bit of a history with Sean Harrison.  Back when Pizzazz was in London, it's alleged that they used to date - and maybe then some.  It's also alleged that Sean was just as crazy as the Misfits back in those carefree days of being nineteen some two months ago, or however old Sean's supposed to be.  Sean flat out rejects Pizzazz, saying that he's grown up and she should run along.  If I wasn't so distracted by Sean's fake accent, I'd cheer him on!



Jem warns Miss Sally that Eric Raymond is nothing but trouble, but Miss Sally doesn't pay attention, simply telling Jem that she's worked with people like Eric before and she can handle him just fine.  My question is...can we swap out Howard Sands for Miss Sally?  She's awesome!



So, Eric and the Misfits are staying inside Miss Sally's guest house, which only has three bedrooms.  I say only because Eric and the Misfits are sharing the same living space, and the Misfits naturally take all the rooms.  But Pizzazz basically issues a threat to Eric that he had better make sure that he gets them on the live record.  You know, I used to think that Eric got off too easily with his crimes against Jem and the Holograms, but having to be saddled with the Misfits - well, Pizzazz and Roxy anyway - makes a swell punishment.



Of course, Eric can't do this alone, so he calls in reinforcements.  Welcome back to the now brunette Zipper!  I'm not even going to ask how Eric got Zipper out of jail for nearly killing the Holograms on four separate occasions...I'm still trying to comprehend how ERIC got out of jail!  But one thing is for sure...Zipper is on the loose, and nobody is safe.



Morning comes, and Jerrica and Kimber run into Miss Sally once more, who is all suited up in her finest business clothing.  And after Jerrica makes up an excuse that Jem caught a cold and will be resting in her room, Miss Sally encourages the girls to explore the ranch with C.B. and Sean.  She does warn them to say away from the rivers, as flash floods can happen at any time.  Sounds like a rather random thing, but whatever.

It's also a perfect opportunity for Kimber and Sean to get to know each other, since she seems to have forgotten about the guy who saved her life last episode.  What was his name again?  Jeff?  Jack?  Jebediah?  Who cares?  Kimber's got a new man now!



See?  Look how they are having fun riding horses, and swimming in the lake, and doing all the things that lovers do.  It's like a Eurythmics video come to life with these two!



What else is interesting is the fact that while everyone is on a picnic, Sean gets a call on a cellular phone!  And back in 1986, the only cell phones that existed were Zack Morris brick phones!  Oh, 1980s, technology, how I've missed you!

Needless to say, Sean and C.B. have to be called away for a bit, but Sean promises to see Kimber and the others at a hayride that is scheduled for later that night.  Sounds like a really romantic time.

Of course, what isn't romantic is Zipper and his thugs approaching the Holograms armed with guns, ordering them to follow them.  Now, we all know that the Holograms are not allowed to die, so this is a fairly empty threat.  That being said, it scares the girls enough to do what they say.  Oh, and since Zipper and the others are wearing masks, they don't know who they are. 



They're brought to a deserted canyon area that looks like it used to be a river before it dried up.  Not a great place to be.  And Jerrica and the others are really concerned that they will never be found.



Surprisingly enough, it's Kimber that comes up with a clever escape plan.  Remembering what Miss Sally said about flash floods, she fakes getting injured to distract Jerrica long enough to concoct one of the most elaborate Synergy holograms that she's done so far.



I mean, seriously...Synergy creates a gigantic thunderstorm and a tsunami like wave to sweep over Zipper and the others, making them fear for their lives!  Of course, we all know that the wave is harmless, but seeing how Synergy can create something like that?  It makes me wonder if they bothered using some of those special effects in their Starbright film.  Bravo, Synergy!  Whatever the case, it worked, and Jerrica and the others are free to make the hayride.



It's just a shame that Sean hasn't arrived yet.  Thanks to him being "abducted" by the Misfits who take him to a dive bar on the outskirts of Houston, Sean misses the whole thing, and Pizzazz wants it that way.  I can't help but feel that this is where the Pizzazz/Sean/Kimber love triangle begins.



And to just summarize how legitimate Pizzazz's interests are towards the World Hunger Shindig, she and the Misfits perform a song called "Gimme Gimme Gimme"!  How...inappropriate!



I do have to say..."Gimme Gimme Gimme" isn't a bad song - at least stylistically.  I just wish the video were better.  But again, seeing as how this is an episode about a charity event, it's extremely out of place.  Though one can argue that the Misfits being there is out of place as well!



At any rate, Sean's had all he can take of Pizzazz's selfishness, and he sets out to try and find Kimber.  He forces the Misfits to drive him to the place where the hayride was set to leave from, which Pizzazz reluctantly agrees to do.  Of course, while they're in the car, Pizzazz and Sean get into an argument about Kimber, and neither one of them are watching where they are going.  Stormer notices the hay wagon coming in the opposite direction and screams loud enough for Pizzazz to narrowly avoid hitting it, but the hay wagon derails and collapses on the side of the road.



Of course it comes as no surprise that the hay wagon happens to be the same one that Jerrica and the others are on, and because the wagon wheel is busted, they'll have to walk back to the ranch.  Meanwhile Kimber declares that she is never speaking to Sean Harrison again.  Sure hope she kept Justin's number on her.  Or is that Jeremy?  Oh, who cares...it's time for the World Hunger Shindig to begin!

Ah, but before we do that, we have to get the prerequisite shot of Eric getting a call from Zipper saying that he screwed up again!  So, with Jem and the Holograms still making their way to the Astrodome, Eric now has to come up with another plan to get them out of the way.



Oh, and while he's at it, why not appoint Zipper as a ticket seller so that he can pocket the ticket sales for his own greedy needs?  This sadly doesn't shock me, as Eric embezzled money from Starlight Music for months before Jerrica caught on.  But you'd have thought he'd have learned his lesson.

Oh, wait.  This is Eric Raymond.  Never mind.



It seems as though Jem and the Holograms were expected as some bald guard arrives on what looks like a golf cart to escort the girls to their dressing room.  But just as Kimber is about to board, Sean arrives on a cart of his own, desperate to explain why he was with Pizzazz the night of the hayride.  Jem convinces Kimber to hear him out, so Kimber hops on Sean's cart to listen to his explanation while the other three arrive at their dressing room.



I don't know though...something doesn't seem right.  Maybe it's the fact that the guy is smirking through the whole thing.  Maybe it's because their dressing room has a peephole in the door.  Maybe it's because HOLOGRAMS is spelled incorrectly and appears to be drawn on the door with sidewalk chalk.  Yeah, that's standard for the Astrodome.



I knew it.  It was all a trap.  Baldy happens to be one of Eric and Zipper's henchmen, and they purposely locked Jem, Aja, and Shana in the room long enough for them to miss their performance so that the Misfits can take over.  Sounds just like Eric.  It's just a shame that their plan has one tiny blip.



You see, Kimber was too busy fawning over Sean to avoid the trap, and when she arrives at the stage and sees only Rio there, she wonders what's up.  Rio is upset too because he can't find Jem or Jerrica, and the rest of the band has gone missing.  But before Rio has a chance to yell "J'ACCUSE" at some random roadie for trying to woo away his women...woman...whatever, Kimber puts two and two together, and realizes that something must have happened.  Rio and Kimber go off to try and find their missing friends before the Misfits try to sing a rousing chorus of "Gimme Gimme Gimme" at a hunger fundraiser.

The henchman goes to check on his prisoners, and Jem, Shana, and Aja are sitting there quietly.  Maybe a little too quietly.



I knew it.  Jem projected holograms of the three of them while they make their escape through the air ducts of the Astrodome.  I'm not so sure this is a great plan given how huge the stadium is, but I do give them credit for trying to find their own way out instead of relying on Rio to help them.

And it is here where Jem and the others discover the sinister plan that is taking place thanks to Zipper.  He stashes the money he stole from the ticket booth in the air ducts while revealing the plan to Jem indirectly.  You don't think that Jem will take that lying down, do you?



She uses Synergy's help to project an image of a deadly rattlesnake to appear in front of the suitcase of money - which does make sense as the Southern United States are filled with rattlesnakes.  Zipper naturally gets freaked out and runs away screeching like a little girl, and Jem grabs onto the suitcase filled with money.  That's one problem solved, but how do they get onto the stage to sing at the Shindig?



I sure hope they find a way soon.  Kimber and Rio have found Miss Sally and they try to convince her to put the concert on hold for a few minutes until they find Jem, but Miss Sally has to play by the rules.  Of course, Miss Sally isn't aware of the fact that Eric's been playing dirty pool, so I'll give her a pass for this unlike the man with no cojones Howard Sands.  Of course Eric is standing in the background taking it all in, knowing that the Misfits will be going on stage, and that there's nothing that can be done about it...

...at least until a voice that sounds a lot like Synergy announces that Jem and the Holograms are here!



Somehow, Jem, Aja, and Shana traced the path of the air ducts to the pledge board above the stage and somehow use one of those nets that are used for balloon drops on New Years' Eve to slide down to the stage safely.  Now, if this weren't a cartoon, Jem, Aja, and Shana would be dead, and Kimber would have to carry the band all on her own.  But physics are not allowed on cartoons, so we just have to pretend that balloon nets have as much durability as a parachute.

Once Kimber joins the rest of the Holograms, they break out into their song.  Interestingly enough, the Misfits get a couple of lines in this song, though they aren't credited for it.



I guess "Share A Little Bit Of Yourself" is meant to be the theme song for the World Hunger Shindig, and I suppose it's an okay song...but I like "We Can Make A Difference" much better. 

There is some bad news though.  Even after Zipper's scheme to steal the money from the benefit comes to light and Jem gives the suitcase back to Miss Sally, Miss Sally is still fifty thousand dollars short of the eight million dollar goal.  It seems like a sad ending that the Holograms managed to perform and Miss Sally put in all that work only to come up short.



Oh, but this where I really LOVE Miss Sally.  See, Miss Sally long suspected that Eric would cause trouble at the event, and with Zipper caught in the act, Miss Sally knows where to hit him where it hurts.  Seems Eric was paid fifty thousand dollars up front to help with the promotion of the World Hunger Shindig - and now that Eric's been exposed, Miss Sally forces Eric to sign over his fee to HER to donate to the Shindig!  Eric, knowing that he's over a barrel, has no choice, and as the Misfits chuckle in his misfortune, the tally board reaches the eight million dollars and the Shindig is a success! 



Seriously, can Miss Sally appear in EVERY episode?  I love this woman!

So that was our first standalone episode, and I have to say, I didn't mind it.  It was nice to see the Holograms doing a charity concert, and I even have to say that despite Pizzazz's obsession with Sean being a bit annoying, the Misfits actually weren't too obnoxious here.  Maybe they too have a soft spot when it comes to charity events, even though they really wanted to be there to get more attention.  If anything Zipper was the one who did the most damage of all, and I have to wonder why Eric continues to deal with this loser.

Oh, and the Kimber/Sean thing?  I'm not sold on it yet...though I hear this isn't Sean's first appearance in the show, so time will tell.

Next week, the girls go to China...and Jem loses something very important.

Thursday, May 19, 2016

Hannah Montana - 2011 Television Finale

So, I'm only eight episodes into the "Jem Reviewed" series, and I will be posting the ninth one tomorrow, but I can't help but think that as I watch this show more and more, I'm reminded by another show.

Mind you, it's a show that aired long after Jem hung up her microphone - so really, one might say that this show copied the plot of the other show I'm thinking of at the moment.  But I'll leave that up to you.

So, basically the plot of Jem is that Jerrica Benton is the head of Starlight Music and the owner of Starlight House, and she basically transforms herself into rock goddess Jem in an attempt to win back the company from evil Eric Raymond.  She succeeds in doing that, but shortly after that, she becomes this big star, and the rest of the series has her trying to be two different people with two different identities.  Some people find out along the way and put two and two together, but for the most part she keeps her secret hidden until the show ends.

Well, in the case of the show that I will be talking about today, this person also has two different identities.  In one, she's just a typical high school student trying to learn trigonometry and algebra.  In another, she's the hottest teenage pop star to break out on the music scene.  And much like Jem, she too has a hard time trying to balance the two personalities.

But unlike Jem, this person actually DOES reveal who she is towards the end of the series...and that revelation played a huge role in how the series inevitably ended.

A series that aired its final episode in 2011.



But let's briefly go back to the year 2006 for a bit - when "Hannah Montana" first debuted on the Disney Channel.



Boy, do I remember that period.  It seemed as though you couldn't go anywhere without seeing Hannah Montana videos, Hannah Montana clothing, Hannah Montana dolls...I even remember the automotive department selling Hannah Montana auto decals and Hannah Montana house keys!



But, to be fair, it was a pop culture phenomenon for little kids and tweens.  And, I have to give Miley Cyrus some credit.  After watching a few episodes of the show here and there, I do admit she has natural comic timing and she always did have a good singing voice.  It wasn't enough for me to go out and buy a Hannah Montana album or plaster Hannah Montana posters on my wall because...well, I was 25 when the show was at its peak.  Do I need any other reason?

I can't help but think that when I watch the show some ten years later, it's kind of a knockoff of Jem and the Holograms.  I mean, no, Hannah Montana didn't have a supercomputer named Synergy to help her out, but she had a hard time trying to keep her professional life separate from her private life as high schooler Miley Stewart.  Some people, such as her best friend Lilly (Emily Osment), pal Oliver (Mitchel Musso), brother Jackson (Jason Earles), and father Robby (played by Miley's own father, Billy Ray Cyrus).  But to the rest of the world, she was two separate people.

Naturally there were some episodes where this was exploited.  Some episodes where Miley Stewart made a date with a guy at a Hannah Montana concert, some episodes where Miley is bullied by people who happen to also be Hannah Montana fans...one episode even had her losing her blonde wig over the side of a cruise ship and contemplating what she should do!

I wish I was kidding about that last one.  I'm not.



Whatever the case, Miley Cyrus rode the Hannah Montana train of success for nearly five years, and the show was popular enough to attract the attention of some well-known celebrities including Vicki Lawrence, Dolly Parton, Jay Leno, Sheryl Crow, and Brooke Shields.  It even inspired a full length motion-picture and concert videos.

But all things eventually come to an end...and the end for Hannah Montana came on January 16, 2011.

Now, when Hannah Montana was renewed for a fourth season in 2010-2011, it was expected that it would be the last one.  After all, Miley Cyrus at that time was eighteen years old and wanted to focus on a recording career of her own - which I'll talk about a bit later in this post.

So, because the decision was made to end the show in early 2011, the creators of the show wanted to make sure it had a solid series finale.  And to plant the seed, they had Miley Stewart reveal her secret about six episodes before the final episode aired.



And what was the event that caused the secret to be revealed?  Well, for one, because Miley was spending so much time as Hannah Montana, it prevented her from taking part in extracurricular activities at school, which in turn had her rejected from every college she applied for.  And there was the instance in which she was interested in a guy named Jesse who begins to date her and he figures out that Miley is Hannah on his own.  The relationship gets complicated and they break up because of it.  So, fed up with how keeping two identities was wreaking havoc on her life, she comes clean on Jay Leno's show where she rips off her wig and plays a song as Miley.

Of course, with the world knowing the truth, Miley's life is forever changed, and when it comes down to the finale, Miley must make a huge choice.  She can fly to Paris, France to film a movie role in a big budget blockbuster which will set her up for life...or she can choose to attend college with Lilly in the fall, and put a hold on her career.



At first Miley tries to convince Lilly to join her in Paris, and put off college for a little while, and Lilly almost agrees to do just that.  But at the last moment, she changes her mind, and the two friends separate to begin brand new chapters in their lives...

...but the twist is that in the last minute of the show, Miley comes back to the United States where she becomes Lilly's roommate in the dorms, basically revealing that at the end of it all, Miley really wanted to experience life as a regular person.

So, the ending of Hannah Montana was quite sweet, and many fans of the show saw it as a perfect ending to the series.

Now, we all know that since Hannah Montana ended, Miley Cyrus basically took a shovel to her alter ego, clubbed her to death, and buried her in the Disney graveyard right next to Shia LeBeouf and Vanessa Hudgens.  She cut her hair short, bleached it blonde, released an album called "Bangerz", and defined the definition of twerking, courtesy of Robin Thicke and a foam finger.



Here's the thing.  Certainly Miley Cyrus is no Hannah Montana.  But that being said, I still think that she is a talented individual who despite the controversy she's found herself in can still rock out a show.  I do think that even though the video had people talking, "Wrecking Ball" was one of her best singles that she's released.  And this upcoming season of "The Voice", she'll actually be one of the judges in the spinning chairs this time around.  And while some may see this as a step backwards for the show, I see it as a good call.  After all, she's grown up in the music industry thanks to her father's country music career, and she's been in the industry herself for a decade.  I think she could be good for the show, but we'll see.

Whatever the case, Hannah Montana had her last hurrah five years ago...but Miley Cyrus still continues on.  No need for her to live in the best of both worlds any longer.

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

So, I'm Thirty-Five...Now What?

So, this is what 35 looks like.  Not a whole lot different from 34, I must say.  Or 33.  Or, hell, even 32.

I guess when it comes to birthdays, the more you have, the less traumatic they are.  Though ask me again five years from now when I turn that nasty number that comes after 39.



Okay, so I'm 35.  Now what?

Well, let's see what's currently hot in the world of pop culture, shall we?

Let's see...the #1 song in the nation is...



Panda/DESIIGNER

Nope...never heard of this song before.  And, honestly, I don't think I'd want to hear it again.  No offense to Desiigner and all of the rapper's fans...but this song just isn't my cup of tea.

Maybe I'll have better luck with the #1 film at the box office...



CAPTAIN AMERICA:  CIVIL WAR

Ah, what a surprise.  Another superhero film.  I'm just going to go out on a limb and say that May is the month of the summer superhero blockbuster.  I think a superhero film has been #1 on my birthday the last ten years or so.

And, the top television program of the year?  Well...we don't know that yet.  The 2016-2017 season doesn't begin until September.  But, I imagine it'll be some reality show like "The Bachelor" or "Dancing With The Stars" or "The Voice" or something similar.

So, this is what 35 looks like.  I keep trying to not think about the fact that this is the halfway point to 70.  Heck, I'm already finding it hard to believe that 40 is not too far away!

But you know...thirty-five is shaping up to be a year that is unlike any other.



For one, it'll be my first full year as a homeowner.  Has it been a chore some days?  Absolutely.  I've still got some work to do on the inside of the house, I have to eventually replace half of my roof, and I cringe every time I open up my electricity bill.



THANKS, KATHLEEN WYNNE!



But you know what?  Compared to where I was a year ago, I wouldn't change this experience for anything.  I love my home, and I am still pinching myself, not quite believing that it actually happened.  After going through a childhood where I was bounced around from house to house for various reasons, it's good to have a permanent spot to chill.  I still never forgot the time when I was five years old, and my family was forced to move out of the place we called home because a land developer had planned to build a mini mall where we lived.  Several families lost their homes to "progress".  Instead, what sits there is an empty spot.  My childhood home was a paradise.  And like the Joni Mitchell song stated, they paved it over to put up a parking lot.  And for years after that fact, I wondered if I would ever have a place where I could call home - and a place that nobody could ever take away from me again.

But now...I have a place of my very own that I can do whatever I want in.  I could even dance around in my underwear if I wanted to.



Not that I actually DO...it's just nice to have that option.

So, that is one thing that I can officially cross off that bucket list.  I now have a home.

And as of right now, that's fine.

It's hard to believe that the vast majority of my classmates have settled down and started families already.  I know some of them have as many as three kids, and a couple are on their second spouses.  That's fine and dandy, and I genuinely pleased that they have found what they are looking for.

But one thing I've had to deal with in life is the fact that everyone is living their life at fast-forward, while I keep experiencing the "Be Kind, Rewind" syndrome.  It's like my classmates are Blu-Ray players, and here I am living the Betamax kind of life.

But I've always struggled with social issues.  I know for a fact that I have some form of social anxiety that keeps me from getting to know people because I'm afraid I'll do something that offends them, or I'll do something that makes them be mean to me.  I suppose that's why it took me two whole years to even so much as open up to anybody at the store I work at.

(That's no lie.  Just ask any of my co-workers who were around in 2005.)

I guess my goal for 35 is to try and overcome that social anxiety, as well as find out the real reasons behind why I appear to be so quirky to other people.  But, I fear that it might not be that easy.

I've debated on how I wanted to write this down.  To be honest with you, I feel ridiculous expressing something about myself that I don't even know if there is truth to it in the first place.  But I've always wanted to be completely honest here in this blog, and I know that while not everybody reads this space, I definitely want to make a few things clear.

I know that since I've been young, my brain has been wired completely different from how a "normal" brain should work.  And, I know that there have been times in which I've appreciated it, but there are times in which I wanted someone else's brain. 

On one hand, when it comes to how I process information, I don't seem to have a problem with that.  I have a very good long term memory (which helps in writing this blog, let me tell you).  I always did well in school when it came down to academics, and I probably have more useless knowledge in my brain than anyone else in the world.  I'd make a great contestant on "Jeopardy"...well, if that quiz show would actually accept Canadians again.  And, I feel this about that decision...



But on the other hand, I have a hard time cultivating relationships and friendships.  I'm getting a little better at it, but I know I come across as extremely socially awkward to a lot of people.  And while I'm glad that the people in my life don't see it too much of a big deal...it wasn't always the case. 



It's also why I have very few friends who are my own age.  I always felt like I was competing with them or comparing myself to them, and I wondered why they found life so easy and carefree, while I had difficulties of my own.  It really hurt my feelings when my classmates would pretend to be my friend so I would help them with their homework, only for them to ignore me when it came time for recess.  It almost made it seem like the only reason people bothered with me at all was so they could get better grades in school.  It never really dawned on them that they were being incredibly selfish, and that I had feelings.

I mean, I get that was a personality flaw that they had to deal with.  But it didn't make it any easier.  My entire life up until now has always been a "Me vs. The World" mentality.  I felt ganged up on because I didn't feel like I could measure up to everyone else.  I didn't feel like I was normal because everyone else made it a point to make it so.

I know in my heart that I do deserve to be happy.  I know that I have just as much right to hold down a job as anyone else (and I have for eleven years and counting).  I have as much right to have friends - and when I say friends, I mean friends who will be there for you all the time - not just when they need help spelling a word or two or 676.  And, yeah...I know I've said before that I have no interest in finding a romantic partner, or getting married, or having children...

...but I'm lying to myself.  And you know what?  I do have the right to have all those things if I want them.

But I am not going to lie here.  I know my brain, personality, and even physical appearance is not like everyone else's...and that's fine.  What a boring world this would be if we were all the same.  But I just wish that my quirks in personality didn't result in me feeling badly about myself for feeling like I don't measure up, or that I wouldn't make a great partner for someone.  More importantly, I wish my quirks attracted people instead of repelled them because they are things that I cannot change.

And I don't feel as though I have to because if I do, I wouldn't be true to myself.  And that to me is a greater sin than having someone else try to change me.

I honestly don't know why I am the way I am.  I could just be built that way.  I could be as stubborn as my starsign of Taurus and not change for anyone.  It could even be something deeper such as having some part of my brain not being able to deal with social situations that well.  It could require treatment for social anxiety.  For all I know, I could even be on the autism spectrum and not have even known it.  None of that matters though.

The fact is that I am a human being, and I deserve to be given the same love, respect, and kindness that anybody else in this world needs to have. 

So, I guess my goal for 35 is to just accept the fact that when it comes to making connections and understanding my social awkwardness, I'm going to have many more barriers than other people.  But I'm not saying this as a way to push anyone away or to get sympathy.  I just want everyone to know that this is who I am...and if I let you into my life, just know that I think you're incredibly special, and that you're someone that I genuinely want in it.

It's not easy for me to say it in words...but it's much easier to write it.

I think I'm going to like 35 a lot.  I already feel better about it just writing this piece!

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

May 17, 1989

It's time for another Tuesday Timeline entry, and while this entry deviates a bit from the 2011 theme I have had going all month long, it is quite an interesting topic of discussion.  At least, I'd like to think so anyway.

Before we get on with the main part of the timeline, we should really see what else happened in the world on May 17.

1536 - The marriage of Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn is annulled

1590 - Anne of Demnark is crowned Queen of Scotland

1792 - The New York Stock Exchange is formed

1849 - St. Louis, Missouri is almost completely destroyed due to a massive fire sweeping through the city

1865 - The International Telegraph Union is founded in Paris, France

1875 - The First Kentucky Derby is won by Aristides

1936 - Actor Dennis Hopper (d. 2010) is born in Dodge City, Kansas

1938 - Actor Jason Bernard (d. 1996) is born in Chicago, Illinois

1939 - The first televised sporting event is broadcast in the United States; a collegiate baseball game held in New York City

1940 - Brussels, Belgium is occupied by German troops during World War II

1944 - American-Canadian singer Jesse Winchester (d. 2014) is born in Bossier City, Louisiana

1950 - Disney film composer Howard Ashman (d. 1991) is born in Baltimore, Maryland

1973 - Televised hearings regarding the Watergate scandal begin in the United States Senate

1974 - A deadly day in Ireland takes place when four separate car bombs in Dublin and Monaghan claim the lives of 33 people and injure 300 more

1990 - The World Health Organization removes homosexuality from its list of psychiatric diseases

1992 - Variety show host Lawrence Welk dies at the age of 89

2000 - Riots break out at the 2000 UEFA Cup Finals between Arsenal fans and Galatasaray fans in Copenhagen, Denmark

2004 - The first legal same-sex marriages are performed in Massachusetts; actor Tony Randall passes away at the age of 84

2005 - Actor Frank Gorshin passes away, aged 72

2012 - Singer Donna Summer dies of lung cancer at the age of 63

2013 - Seventy-two people are injured when two Metro-North commuter trains collide near Bridgeport, Connecticut

2015 - Rival biker gangs in Waco, Texas engage in a shootout inside a restaurant leaving nine dead and eighteen injured

And turning one year older are the following famous faces - Ronald Wayne, Gary Paulsen, Grace Zabriskie, Al White, David Simeon, Howard Hampton, Bill Paxton, Sugar Ray Leonard, Bob Saget, Jim Nantz, Simon Fuller, Enya, Craig Ferguson, Page McConnell, David Eigenburg, Mauro Martini, Rob Pruitt, Trent Reznor, Hill Harper, Tabatha Coffey, Alan Doyle, Thom Filicia, Jordan Knight, Sasha Alexander, Steve Barakatt, Josh Homme, Andrea Corr, Kandi Burruss, Tony Parker, Derek Hough, Tahj Mowry, and Daniel Curtis Lee.

So, since we aren't going back to 2011 in this entry, what year will we be looking at instead?



Well, how about we go back in time 27 years?  May 17, 1989.

This would have been right around my 8th birthday, and I think what I was doing that day was learning about the solar system in second grade, likely reading a Jughead comic book or two, and watching a couple of episodes of "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" on television.

But while I was watching the Ninja Turtles, something else was going on in the world of television.  Particularly on MTV, to be precise.

May 17, 1989 was the date that a particular music video debuted, and let's just say that the video itself was a masterpiece.  If you remember what music videos were like when MTV debuted in 1981, you'd think that watching this music video in 1989 was like nothing you had ever seen before.

And it wasn't.

What if I told you that this music video was the most expensive video ever made in the 1980s?  That's impressive right?  And what if I told you that this video was the third most expensive music video of all time?  That would be even more impressive.

Most impressive of all?  Of the top ten most expensive music videos ever made, this woman has made three of them!

So, who is this singer?  And what's the music video?



Today we'll be talking about Madonna, and her music video for "Express Yourself", the David Fincher directed masterpiece based on the 1927 film "Metropolis" that still holds up twenty-seven years later.



The cost of the music video?  Well, back in 1989, it cost a cool five million.  If you adjust that into 2016 money, it would have cost close to nine million had it been made today!  Back in 1989, some full length motion pictures didn't even have a five million dollar budget!

But Madonna certainly did have the money.  Thanks to her brief endorsement with Pepsi (and I do mean brief), she pocketed the five million to pay for the production of the video for "Express Yourself".

The composition for the song began in 1988 - just after Madonna wrapped up production on the film "Who's That Girl".  At that time, she was working on songs for her fourth album "Like A Prayer", and to say that 1988 was a difficult year for Madonna would be an understatement.  She was undergoing problems in her marriage to actor Sean Penn (they would divorce in 1989), and she was having conflicts with her religious convictions, and she was trying to find a way to deal with the paparazzi and having every aspect of her life placed under a microscope.  And certainly all of that angst and emotion can be heard throughout the entirety of "Like A Prayer", with some calling it her best album that she has ever released.



"Express Yourself" was the first single that Madonna worked on for the album, and she was inspired by funk band Sly & The Family Stone when recording the single with producer Stephen Bray (who had worked with Madonna on her "True Blue" album in 1986).  In Bray's version, the single does have a nice throwback to the late 1960s funk and soul vibe that seemed to dominate the music charts back then.  In the music video version, the song was remixed by Shep Pettibone (who also mixed "Vogue", "Erotica", "Deeper and Deeper", and "Rain", amongst other Madonna songs), but the remix seemed to blend in well with the theme of the video.  (And you can listen to the remixed version by clicking HERE.)

That theme, of course, is female empowerment, and not settling for second best.  As Madonna explained in this 1989 article featured in Interview magazine...

"The ultimate thing behind the song is that if you don't express yourself, if you don't say what you want, then you're not going to get it.  And in effect, you are chained down by your inability to say what you feel or go after what you want.  No matter how in control you think you are about sexuality in a relationship there is always the power struggle...always a certain amount of compromise.  Of being beholden, if you love them.  You do it because you choose to.  No one put the chain around this neck but me.  I wrote 'Express Yourself' to tell women around the world that pick and choose the best for yourself before that chain around your neck kills you instead.  It's my take on how man can express what they want, the same prerogative should be there for a woman too."



Now, this explains that scene where Madonna is lying on a bed naked with a chain around her neck.  It's just one of the messages that Madonna wanted to present with the video.  I'll admit that I was maybe 11 or 12 before I saw this video for the first time, and I was confused as heck by it.  Men doing push-ups in the rain, cats running all over the place, Madonna pouring milk over her shoulder...all these scenes did not make sense to a young kid, but as an adult, I totally get it.

I find it funny that before Madonna came around that factory that every worker there was working like clockwork, and once she picked the man that she wanted to have sex with, the factory shut down and erupted into chaos.  Maybe she had more control than anyone thought!



Whatever the case, it took a lot of work to put the video together, and here's some behind the scenes facts that you might not know regarding the filming of this video, courtesy of text transcripts of Madonna's interviews, as well as Pop-Up Video!

1 -  There were a total of three different cats used in the filming of this video.

2 -  The man that Madonna chose to get to know better is played by model Cameron Alborzian.

3 - Madonna hated filming the scene where she had to pour milk all over herself - but she decided to do it because it was what David Fincher wanted to make the shot look good.  In the end, she agreed that she was glad to have let him win that argument.

4 - This isn't the first video that David Fincher directed for Madonna.  He also directed "Vogue" and "Bad Girl".

5 - At the time she filmed "Express Yourself", she was also working on "Dick Tracy" with Warren Beatty - whom Madonna had a relationship with.  She had asked Warren to play the role of one of the workers, but Beatty refused.

6 -  After its May 17, 1989 debut on MTV, the video was placed on extremely heavy rotation - played at least once an hour for three weeks straight!

7 - Despite the promotion and cost of the video, "Express Yourself" stalled at #2 on the Billboard Charts.

8 - Madonna simulated Michael Jackson's dance style in one scene of the video.  You'll know it when you see it.

9 - The video won three MTV Video Music Awards.



When it comes down to it, Madonna expressed herself in this video the way that no other female artist had done before.  It was something fresh and new, and delivered a positive message, not just for women, but for everyone.  This was the period in which Madonna was clearly at her best.  And to think that this video was released twenty-seven years ago today!