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Wednesday, June 08, 2016

How Getting Served Made Me a Winner

One thing that I have always wanted to do with this blog is incorporate more personal stories into it while still attempting to keep with the pop culture theme.  Sometimes it is easy to do, and other times, it is impossible.

So for today's entry, I'm just going to go ahead and tell a story.  And, I am going to try and make it as positive as possible to keep with the zen state that I am finding myself in recently.  I'll tell you, living this way is so much better for my psyche.  It's great.

As I type this out, summer vacation has either already begun, or it is almost here.  In my area, it begins at the end of June and runs until the first week of September.  And, I am sure that every school has their own traditions signifying the end of the year.  Some may have special activity days where they cancel classes to play sports and games.  Some may have an epic field trip where they stay overnight in a big city (ours was Toronto in eighth grade).  And some may just have a classroom party filled with movies, treats, and comparing report cards to see if you were going to be in the same classes the following year.  And believe me, that was probably the highlight for most of us in elementary school.



My elementary school - Commonwealth P.S. - did have one tradition that lasted for years.  I'm almost positive that it no longer goes on as Commonwealth eliminated the seventh and eighth grades a few years ago.  But back when I was in eighth grade, one of the events that we all took part in was scheduled for the last week of classes.  And it wasn't just the eighth graders that were involved either.  All of the kids from grades one to seven were invited to watch the event from the bleachers in our school football field.

(And if you're wondering why our elementary school had a football field - it's because a high school nearby used it for their home games.)

That event was known as the annual Commonwealth Teachers vs. Grade 8 Three-Pitch Game!

And, yes.  It was called three-pitch.  The reason being was because we never used actual baseballs.  We used those Indian rubber balls that looked like real horsehide baseballs, but weren't actual baseballs.  Real baseballs would have the potential to harm a teacher or a student.  And as someone who took a baseball to the schnozz in my ninth grade gym class, I know for a fact that they HURT!

So, although we were technically playing "baseball", it wasn't "baseball".  You guys with me so far?

I remember watching the games when I was in the younger grades, and I admit when I was in first or second grade, watching the games bored me to tears.  I would have rather have been inside the school playing at the plasticine table or playing "Pick-A-Dilly Pair" on those retro computers that we had in our classrooms.  It wasn't until I got into the junior years of elementary school that I became excited about playing the game.

The only problem was that I was - and still am - a horrible athlete.  I lack coordination, I lack speed.  To this day, I still don't even know how to dribble a basketball properly.  In eighth grade, I had a near perfect report card.  A's in almost every subject but one.

I mean, who gives out a C minus in gym class?  Who?

Well, my 8th grade teacher did, that's who.  And to be honest, I owned that C minus. 

As much as I really tried in gym class - and believe me, I tried to the point where I was slipping on my own sweat puddles in the gym - I just completely sucked.  The fact that I was dealing with asthma as a child just sidelined me even more.  I was always the last one picked for sports, and yet I was the first one to get knocked out whenever we played dodgeball.  So embarrassing.

The thing was that I really wanted to be like everyone else and be great at sports, but I knew that no matter what, I would not be. 

It really wasn't until the Faculty vs. Grade 8 Three-Pitch Game that I came to understand that it wasn't really how good your abilities were...it was how you played the game. 

Well, okay, maybe there was one incident that happened before the game that made me come to that conclusion.

During 4th grades to 8th grades, the school would have some sports games going on during lunch period.  And, I signed up for every single one just because I thought they were interesting.  I signed up for floor hockey, basketball, and volleyball, and kids who were around my age were placed on my team.

Needless to say, there were some sports in which I completely sucked at.  I tried basketball one year and ended up playing the role of scorekeeper more than I was on the court!  I considered that to be a total waste of time!  I was lucky that we never played shirts vs. skins because if I had to be on the skins team, I would not have been very happy!

On the flipside, floor hockey proved to be a much better experience.  Because I was the tallest (and let's face it - fattest) kid in my grade, I made the perfect goalie.  Ended up blocking quite a few shots and my team in fifth grade came in second place overall.  Not a bad track record!



My favourite sport to play was volleyball though.  I liked the fact that it was a small team, and I liked the idea of serving and spiking the ball.  But initially when I first started playing, I couldn't grasp the concept of serving.  I either bounced the ball off the net, or I sent it underneath the net.  But, still...even though I never really did that well, I gave it my all.

It's just too bad that I had one kid on my team that made his disgust known.  We'll call him...Ken.  It's not his real name, but we'll go with it.  From the very moment he realized that I was on his team, he did everything he could to make me quit from cheering on the other team whenever I served to heckling me when I was on the court and he was on deck.  It was totally obnoxious, but not unexpected.  I mean, we were all stupid kids back in the sixth and seventh grade.  For what it was worth, some of the other kids on my team weren't nearly so jerky, and I recall one girl named Meghan who was really supportive and gave me encouragement even though I completely sucked and knew it.

During one game, we were playing a team that was the best in the school, and we were trailing behind by a lot.  Ken was in the front row, and I was in the back, and the guy on the other team launched a powerful spike in my direction.  I was prepared to bump the ball back over the net (which I had some success with in the past), and hopefully keep them from scoring.

What happened was the ball bopped me right on the head.  And while the impact didn't really hurt that much, Ken was laughing like a hysterical hyena, and soon the entire gym erupted in a cacophony of ha-ha-ha's.  I do have to give credit to Meghan though.  She saw that I was upset, and I almost sat out the rest of the game, but she knew exactly what Ken was like and told me to just ignore him and do the best I could do.  And, you know...I never really did forget that.

So it came time for me to serve for our team.  And I guess it wasn't unexpected for the other team to move as close to the net as possible, standing around and not even preparing to deflect the ball.  I had missed every single serve since I joined that team.  Common sense would tell everyone else that I would miss this one too.

But there was just something about Ken and his sneer that made me see a whole lot of rage.  And, I was thinking to myself that he had his fun.  Now it was my turn.

I don't know whether it was just a lucky shot or whether someone was looking out for me, or what have you...but when I served that ball, it was absolutely PERFECT.  That ball sailed over the net without any trouble.  And because the opposing team didn't expect me to hit it, they literally stood around and watched me score a point!

I'll still never forget the cheers from my team at my surprise point.  I imagine I was frozen in shock myself.  And I will never forget Ken's face either.  I think in that moment I served that perfect serve, I had simultaneously served him a nice huge slice of humble pie.  I sure hope it tasted sour!

Of course that serve ended up being a fluke.  My second go-round, the ball bounced off the net.  But still...that one moment made me realize that I didn't completely suck at athletics.  I think that after having fifty bad serves, I was overdue for a good one.  And who knows?  Maybe all that practice helped me develop my volleyball serve.  It's hard to say.  



But I guess it goes to show that anyone can achieve anything if they work hard at it.  More importantly, I believe that once I stopped focusing on the rudeness of a smart aleck kid and focused more on having fun, it made things so much better.

And I took that attitude with me to the Teachers vs. Grade 8 Three-Pitch Game that hot June day. 

On the field, I was always in the outfield because we all figured the teachers would never hit the ball out that far - though a couple of them surprised all of us!  Just as I had surprised everyone on that volleyball court a few years earlier. 

As for hits?  I may have gotten like...one legitimate hit.  The rest were strike outs or foul balls.  But again, it wasn't the point.  This was a game that was a lot of fun, and for all of us in 8th grade, it would be our last hurrah at the school that most of us saw as a second home since kindergarten.  Having fun was more important than winning.

And I think that was a good lesson...since I think the teachers creamed us.  

Tuesday, June 07, 2016

June 7, 1990

It's that time of the week where we take a flip through the history pages of pop culture past and talk about a significant event that took place.

This is the Tuesday Timeline edition for June 7.  And, I'll be the first to admit that choosing a topic was initially hard.  Mainly because I've already written pieces on the most obvious choices.

But I think I've picked a topic that is fun.  At least many people have had fun here.  That's your only hint though.  For now, let's look at the other things that happened on June 7.

1654 - Louis XIV is crowned King of France

1692 - A devastating earthquake levels Port Royal, Jamaica, killing 1,600

1832 - 6,000 people in Lower Canada succumb to Asian cholera after the disease reaches Quebec

1892 - Homer Piessy is arrested for refusing to leave his seat in the "whites-only" car of the train

1893 - Mohandas Gandhi commits his first act of civil disobedience

1899 - Carrie Nation destroys the inventory of a Kansas saloon, kicking off a lengthy campaign of destroying taverns and pubs in an effort to ban the sale of alcohol

1909 - At age 16, Canadian actress/singer Mary Pickford makes her debut; that same day actress Jessica Tandy (d. 1994) is born

1917 - Singer Dean Martin (d. 1995) is born in Steubenville, Ohio

1937 - Actress Jean Harlow passes away at just 26 years of age

1942 - American troops claim victory in The Battle of Midway

1944 - Twenty-three Canadian Prisoners of War are executed by members of the SS Division Hitlerjugend during the Battle of Normandy

1958 - American singer/composer Prince Rogers Nelson (d. 2016) is born in Minneapolis, Minnesota

1965 - Actress/singer Judy Holliday dies at the age of 43

1977 - Queen Elizabeth II's Silver Jubilee takes place; over five hundred million people all over the world watch the celebrations on television

1982 - Priscilla Presley opens up Graceland to the public - five years after Elvis Presley's death

1991 - Mount Pinatubo erupts

1995 - United Airlines begin using Boeing 777's for flights

1996 - The president of Max Factor cosmetics, Max Factor Jr., dies at the age of 91

2003 - Australian born actor Trevor Goddard dies at the age of 40

2012 - American rapper Melvin "Lil Phat" Vernell III is shot and killed outside of a hospital at the age of 19

2013 - An armed gunman kills five people before being taken down by police after storming the campus of Santa Monica College

And happy birthday to the following famous faces of the past and present; Virginia McKenna, Tom Jones, Jenny Jones, Howard Finkel, Royce Campbell, Liam Neeson, Colleen Camp, Louise Erdrich, William Forsythe, L.A. Reid, Chris Marcantel, Kym Whitley, Michael Cartellone, Simon Day, Gia Carides, Mick Foley, Dave Navarro, Helen Baxendale, Mike Modano, Karl Urban, Bear Grylls, Allen Iverson, Erik Weiner, Adrienne Frantz, Bill Hader, Anna Torv, Anna Kournikova, Larisa Oleynik, Michael Cera, Iggy Azalea, Fetty Wap, Emily Ratajkowski, Sara Niemitz, George Ezra, and Graham Newberry.

So, I promised that this edition of the Tuesday Timeline would be fun!  But in order for the fun to start, we have to take a trip back in time to the early 1990s.



Like, maybe...June 7, 1990.

So, what was happening in the world on June 7, 1990?  Well, the top movie at the box office was "Total Recall".  The number #1 song was "Vogue" by Madonna.  And, I was anxiously waiting for the end of the school year.

At that time, I was just days away from leaving third grade and the downstairs of my elementary school forever.  The top floor of my school were for grades 4-8, and when you started having classes up there, you knew you were getting closer to being an adult!  Well, at least from a nine-year-old perspective anyway.

Now, because this date was so close to summer vacation, it was only natural to start thinking about what we were going to do for summer vacation.  In the case of myself, money was quite tight, so I couldn't afford to go anywhere elaborate on vacation.  I spent my summer at one of those affordable summer long playground programs.  In retrospect, it was all good though.  I had a blast, and it was nice to socialize with kids who didn't go to my school. 

Of course, other kids went away for the summer holidays, which was also just as cool.  Obviously places like Disneyland and Walt Disney World were known kid pleasers.  Canada's Wonderland was also quite fun in the early 1990s.  And I remember seeing commercials for Boblo Island Amusement Park and remember wanting to go even though it was a seven hour car ride away.  Sadly, Boblo Island closed to the public in 1993, and I never did get to go there.

Back in 1990, the choices for where to go on summer vacation seemed endless.  And on June 7, 1990, two more places were added.



That was the day in which Nickelodeon Studios and Universal Studios FLORIDA first opened their doors to the public. 

Over the course of the past twenty-six years Universal Studios Florida remains a very popular tourist destination - it's currently the eighth most visited theme park in the United States and the sixteenth most visited theme park in the whole world!

It's also a place that I have never been, but want to go to.  But then I've never visited any Disney park either.  I need to either get out more or win the lottery.  Or both.

Sadly, I cannot visit Nickelodeon Studios.  That park closed in 2005.  We'll talk more about that a little later on.

For now though, let's talk about Universal Studios Florida.

Anyway, the story behind the creation of Universal Studios Florida begins in 1986 - four years before the park was even opened.  And initially it didn't even start out to be the massive theme park that eventually came to be.  In a meeting between Peter N. Alexander and Steven Spielberg (who is listed as a co-founder of the park), they discussed plans to open up a "Back to the Future" simulation ride which would make riders feel as though they were traveling through time in the DeLorean time machine.  A similar ride was also being developed based on the movie "King Kong".



But as the plans for both rides came to fruition, Spielberg seemed to think that they were on the verge of something big.  Given that the park was located in Orlando, Florida - the same city that housed both SeaWorld and Walt Disney World - Spielberg thought that they could design a theme park that could legitimately compete with both theme parks and hold its own.

Between 1986 and 1990, the area where Universal Studios Florida was completely redesigned to house several of the attractions - including the two that were discussed by Spielberg and Alexander.  And initially the park was supposed to open earlier than expected.  The original launch date for the park was December 1989 - just in time for the holiday season.  It was pushed back to May 1990 before settling on its June 7 opening.

What made Universal Studios Florida unique was the fact that it also housed several working soundstages where television shows and movies were being filmed.  In fact, the Powerball lottery draws are filmed on location at Universal Studios Florida!  No kidding!

And, as far as some of the attractions go, some of them have been around a while, while others have been retired to make way for the new.  The original "Back to the Future" ride was changed into a ride celebrating "The Simpsons Movie".  But here's a list of some of the exciting attractions you can visit if you go to Universal Studios Florida.

Animal Actors on Location (1990)
Universal's Horror Make-up-Show (1990)
The Blues Brothers Show (1991)
A Day In The Park With Barney (1995)
Men in Black: Alien Attack (2000)
Shrek 4-D (2003)
Revenge of the Mummy: The Ride (2004)
Fear Factor Live (2005)
The Simpsons Ride (2008)
Despicable Me:  Minion Mayhem (2012)
Transformers: The Ride (2013)
The Wizarding World of Harry Potter (2014)



I so hope that if I get the chance to go to Universal Studios Florida that the Harry Potter exhibit is still up.  I so want to go just for that.

On the same day that Universal Studios Florida became ready for the public, Nickelodeon Studios had their grand opening as well with Mr. Double Dare himself Marc Summers as the master of ceremonies.  Practically located in the backyard of Universal Studios Florida, Nickelodeon Studios was a hop skip and jump away from many of Universal's attractions. 

Now, unlike Universal, Nickelodeon mostly stuck to productions within their studios.  During the entire decade known as the 1990s, almost all television series with the Nickelodeon logo were produced here including;

Double Dare/Super Double Dare
Legends of The Hidden Temple
Nick Arcade
Guts!
Nickelodeon Splat!
Eureeka's Castle
Wild & Crazy Kids
Clarissa Explains It All
All That
The Mystery Files of Shelby Woo

And many more!

In fact, there was talk of bringing the television show "You Can't Do That On Television" to Orlando from Ottawa in 1990.  But the series was cancelled that same year, so nothing ever came out of it.



There was even a time capsule buried by Nickelodeon staff at the Studios in 1992, which had children of that time period (which would have included me) had voted on.  Such items included the Nintendo Game Boy, Michael Jackson's "Dangerous" album, A VHS tape of "Home Alone", and of course, the slimy gooey stuff known as Nickelodeon GAK!

But by 2001, the studio was beginning to fall on hard times.  Staffing was cut, and the production of game shows made way for sitcoms.  This in turn caused tourism to plummet, as game shows that encouraged audience participation were cancelled for closed-set sitcoms.  Unable to keep the studios going, the decision was made to shut it down in 2005.

Mostly everything from the Nickelodeon Studios was removed, and the space is now currently used as a concert hall for the Blue Man Group.  But the time capsule that was buried in 1992 remains intact.  It was just relocated to a different area.  It will continue to remain sealed until 2042!  By then, the Game Boy might go back in style!

So, there you have it.  Two attractions opened up on June 7, 1990.  One remains standing.  But I'm sure many have had lots of fun at both!

So, do any of you have any memories to share of either place?

Sunday, June 05, 2016

Not Hip To Be Scalped - It's Tragic

As somebody who was born, raised, and currently living in Canada, I happen to have a lot of pride in my nation.

When it comes down to it - in my unapologetic and biased opinion - I believe that Canada is one of the greatest nations on the entire planet because of its very unique features.  We are the nation that created the dish known as the poutine that despite its tendency to give you a heart attack is the ultimate Canadian comfort food.  We are the nation that invented the great sport of basketball - and yet we only have one team in the NBA.  What's up with that?  And, we are also the nation that abolished the penny from our currency - which in turn has made things more expensive - but hey, at least we also have some cool looking currency in both coin and bill form!

Another thing that Canada has is some really fantastic musical talent.

From The Guess Who and Chilliwack to Hedley and Carly Rae Jepsen, there are a number of Canadian artists who have contributed to the soundtracks of our lives.  I imagine most of us have probably owned at least one album of Bryan Adams, Alanis Morissette, Barenaked Ladies, and Celine Dion in our lives.  Well, okay, maybe most of us only have one Celine Dion song in our collections.  And for 95% of us, it's probably that song from "Titanic".  The point is that Canadian music is fantastic for the most part.

(And yes, we know that we gave you all Justin Bieber.  Save your stones and lit torches.  Besides, I kind of sort of like the song "Sorry".)



One of the bands that almost every Canadian knows and loves is The Tragically Hip.  And, the band - which was founded in Kingston, Ontario in the early 1980s - has been rocking out the provinces and territories of this great nation ever since.  I'll be the first to admit that I do enjoy quite a few of their singles, and while I will not claim to be the band's biggest fan (mainly because I know quite a few who have me beat!), I will state that any time I have heard them in television interviews, they have always seemed very gracious and honoured by the support given to them by their fans, which is refreshing to see.  And while they have attracted fans all over the world, it is Canada where the band is most loved.



And honestly how can anybody hate The Tragically Hip?  Their music is fantastic.  Have a listen to "Ahead By a Century" from 1996!



Or, how about "Bobcaygeon" from 1998?



Or even perhaps my favourite Hip song, "Courage" from 1992?

I seriously could list their entire discography here on this blog post and it still wouldn't do this band justice. 

Of course, it's fitting that I post the song "Courage".  Because the lead singer of the band, Gord Downie, is probably mustering up all the courage that he has to embark in what could very well be the last few months of his life.



It was a sucker punch to the gut for most Canadians the day after Victoria Day weekend when it was announced that Downie, 52, had a brain tumour that was deemed inoperable.  Worse, the cancer that he had was one of the most aggressive kinds that there was.  It is unknown exactly how much time Downie will have left, but the prognosis is not good.

It's hard enough to deal with a cancer diagnosis.  I've known quite a few people who have died from the disease, or who have had major hardships as a direct result of it.  I can only imagine what Downie, his family, and his bandmates are going through right now, and my thoughts are definitely with all of them at this time.

But, Downie has made the decision that he wants to make the most of whatever time he has left, and he and the Hip have decided to give their fans a couple of going away presents.  A new album by the band is set to drop June 17 - which I am predicting will be hard to find in stores unless you download it from iTunes - and the band will embark on one final cross-country tour this summer.  The final date will be held in the very city that their career began - Kingston, Ontario.

Now, living fairly close by to Kingston, it would be nice to go see them in concert to support the band, but I know that tickets would have been extremely hard to get given the high demand for them.  Certainly I know many of my friends have tried to get tickets, but came up empty.

But I don't think any of them could have prepared for just how hard it would be to actually score some tickets to any of the band's shows.  And to be honest with you, I'm not very happy about how it went down thanks to some incredibly greedy people who have used a man's disease to earn some fast cash.

In this day and age, scalpers have always been associated with high-profile concerts.  Suppose you have a ticket to, oh, let's just say going with the Canadian theme here, Three Days Grace.  And suppose that an average concert ticket would cost $75 to get inside.  Scalpers would buy one hundred tickets, and resell them for $325 - making a huge profit off the original ticket price. 

Despite the fact that scalping is an illegal offence in some places (I know my province of Ontario has a law in place), it is surprisingly ignored, and thus is the reason why scalpers continue to be a problem in the music industry.

As a result of scalpers monopolizing the ticket sales through online websites like Ticketmaster, the tickets sold at face value in record time.  Meanwhile, the scalpers were selling the very tickets to Tragically Hip fans for double, triple...even fifty times the price of the ticket!

As far as I'm concerned, this is NOT what The Tragically Hip would have wanted at all.  And, I can guarantee you that fans of the band have considered this to be an all-time low.  And honestly, I can't say I blame them for having that opinion.

It's bad enough that scalpers have put a high price on a show that a lot of people have wanted to go to.  But for them to purposely do it knowing that this tour is going to be the last time that The Tragically Hip will play in front of a live audience.  I think there's a special place in hell for people like that.

But, I am definitely not going to suggest something like finding a scalper and literally taking a scalpel to his scalp.  That sort of contradicts my new zen state.  What I am suggesting is that governments work with ticket retailers to fix the system so that scalpers receive heavier punishments for scalping.  I am also suggesting that online retailers implement systems that prevent people (including spambots) from purchasing any more than six tickets per transaction.  That may not stop them entirely, but it might slow them down enough for people to have a fighting chance to legitimately get their tickets.

Another radical idea would be to sell tickets the same way they did thirty-three years ago when the Hip were just starting out - no online sales at all.  Instead, you line up at an actual ticket booth and wait in line to buy tickets.  And if scalpers show up wanting hundreds of tickets, they can be escorted out of line!  Maybe going back to a pre-technology world would be a radical, yet necessary step to ensure that more tickets go to more fans.

Whatever the case, I'm sure that things look bleak for fans of The Tragically Hip, and I certainly hope that these scalpers can look at themselves in the mirror having done this.  At the very least, they could have used the profits from the scalped tickets and donated it to a Canadian cancer charity so that research could be done to save more lives.  But I guess that would be asking for too much, right?

In the meantime, for fans who don't have tickets, I will suggest that you check your local radio stations.  I would imagine that some stations were given tickets to give away as a promotion, or they bought up tickets themselves to offer up as prizes.  It would be in your best interest to listen for these contests if you really want to see the band perform.

And I have also heard that the CBC is interested in simulcasting the band's final concert on live television.  At the very least, I hope that a deal is reached.  After all, everyone who is a fan of the band should deserve to see them - and not have to pay an arm and a leg to do it. 

Saturday, June 04, 2016

A Celebration Of Those Whose Give a Damn's Aren't Busted



Well...this has been quite an eventful week.  In more ways than one.

I'll admit that I'm in a good place right now with everything.  When I sat down at my computer on Monday morning and typed out what I needed to say - stuff that I had been sitting on for so long - I was in a particular mood that could not be classified as either contentment or zen.  It had taken up a long time for me to say the things I needed to say to get some sort of closure over what had happened.  I can sort of see where some parts of that message seemed as though it was coming from a place of bitterness.  At the time I wrote it, I'll admit that I was surprised at how it came out.  But I hold no regrets and make no apologies for it.  I said what I had to say, and no matter what, it made me feel better about myself for saying it.  It was very cleansing for the soul and now I can go back to being in my zen state once more.

And, let me tell you.  It's such a great feeling to let go of the negativity that I carried with me for so long.  And I feel so great about it that I think I want to do a follow-up to Monday's entry...only through the eyes of someone with a lot more perspective towards life and who has a happier outlook.

It's just going to seem kind of strange for me to reference the song "My Give a Damn's Busted" at the beginning of this entry - mainly because it seems to contradict everything that I just said.  Well, to be honest, with the case of some people I've crossed paths with, my Give a Damn is legitimately busted with no sign of repair whatsoever.  But I've given them enough attention and choose not to go any further with it.



But the song itself - well, can you think of a catchier title for a song?  I think it's quite clever, to be perfectly honest with you!  The song has been recorded several times, but I believe the 2005 version, as sung by country music artist Jo Dee Messina is most well known.  The song itself is about escaping a toxic relationship and how the person who is leaving the other person is trying to find something to keep them involved in the relationship, but can't come up with a reason because...well...their Give a Damn is busted! 

Well, in this blog entry, I want to talk about the flipside of that.

I've decided to make this piece a full-fledged celebration of the people in my life whose Give a Damn is NOT busted.

Hence the title of this blog - "A Celebration Of Those Whose Give A Damn's Aren't Busted"!

Again, I will be making this a public piece - and this time, I'll probably be doing a lot more name dropping in this space because I do believe in giving a lot of praise and kudos to those who truly deserve it.

Obviously, I have to start with the family portion of the blog.  Although there have been times in which I have wanted to pull my hair out because of them and although there have been times in which I have sworn that I was adopted as I am so very much unlike any of them - I honestly do hold my family (at least the immediate family) on a very high pedestal.  At 35, I consider myself extremely lucky that my family is mostly still here with me because I know that as the years go by, they won't always be there.  The truth is that they helped make me the person I am - for better or worse - and for that I think I will always be grateful to them.  Whenever I needed them, their Give a Damn's were never busted, and I will owe them a lot for that.

I also want to single out some of the kids I went to elementary school with over the years.  It wasn't a perfect time in life, but I chalk it up to the fact that we were all little and stupid back then.  Trust me, I had my moments back then, as I'm sure all of us who were ever children did.  The point is that most of the kids who I went to school with in elementary school turned out to become fairly decent adults and members of society.  And while I definitely will not remember everybody's name in this piece, I'll single out Orijit, Eileen, Sarah, Jason, Jennifer, Bailey, Erin, Nicole, and Erica in particular for standing by me - even if there were times in which we didn't speak for quite some time.  The point is that you never gave up on me.  Your Give a Damn's were never busted in regards to how you perceived me, and I never did forget that.  So, thank you!  And, I also feel the need to give a special shout out to Jessyka as well for supporting me in what I do in this space as well as in real life.

Next come the teachers who proved to me that their Give a Damn's were never busted when it came to handling me.  Admittedly, I was a complete enigma of a student.  Some days were most definitely better than others, but despite that, you never once doubted that I would be all right, and you never once gave up on trying to make me a better person.  In some ways, I believe that your influence on me helped shape the way I treat other people.  Again, I'm trying to go by memory here, but just to name a few, I will honour Miss Johnson, Mrs. Moore, Mrs. Woodfine, Mr. Haskin, Mr. Tripp,  Mr. and Mrs. Morgan, Mr. Cristello, Ms. Renusz, Mr. Lacerte, Mrs. Quick, Mr. Wright, Mr. Pearson, Mr. Weese, Mr. Corney, and Mr. Brady for showing us all how to teach people the right way - and to teach like your Give a Damn isn't busted.  And although some of these names are no longer with us, I will never forget any of them.

I'm also going to shout out a bunch of names of the various people I've met on online forums over the last few years - people who have sent birthday and Christmas cards, people who have been around to listen whenever I needed advice, people who have comforted me when I needed someone to talk to, and people who although I've never met them have been some of the best friends that I have ever had in my life.  Again, I'm just going to list off a whole bunch of names that I can think of, and if I do forget to list a few - well, I don't have a magic mirror and I never was on "Romper Room".  That is my excuse.  But sincerely, I am singling out Kat, Brian, Cathy, Mandie, Celeste, Helen, Sharyn, Cullen, Joe (JP), Matt, Nicole, Eric, Hector, Viki, Jill, Jeri-Ann, Kathy, Tammy, Dawn, Hilary, Tracy, Mark, Chris, Riann, Sandy, Julie, Railyn, Allison, Laura, and anybody else who has touched my life in this way.  I'll also add in Teresa and Rosemary - two friends who have sadly passed away.  You'll never be forgotten.

Finally - and this time around I won't be naming names because if I did, this post would be as big as the phone book - I am so eternally grateful to the majority of the people that I like to call my Walmart Canada family.  Honestly, if you had asked me 20 years ago if I ever saw myself being where I am right now, I probably would not have wanted it.  Sometimes I still question whether what I am doing is really what I want to do.  But it is a full time job and those are not very easy to come by, so I'm doing the best I can.

But in all seriousness, having a group of people who have really genuinely supported me is nothing more than phenomenal.  Let me tell you exactly what these people have done for me.  They helped me come out of my shell more than anybody else has.  Lord knows they had a struggle.  I refused to talk to anybody for two whole years when I first started there!  Now I won't shut up for anybody!

But let me tell you what they have done for me.  They were there for me when I lost two of my best friends within a year of each other, making sure that I was okay.  They cheered me on as I participated in the Relay for Life, making sure that I kept going even when my body was telling me to stop.  They visited me in the hospital and kept tabs on me when my gall bladder tried to kill me five years ago.  They have invited me to birthday parties, weddings, and never once made me feel like I was not a burden.  If anything, they went out of their way to make me feel welcome there.  And even though our workplace can get a bit stressful, and we sometimes get into some depressing moods, we always find a way to make each other smile at least once.  When I call my workplace a family, I truly do mean it. 

And you know, it really dawned on me over the course of the past week or so that...I have got people who are cheering me on and whose Give a Damn was never busted in regards to me.  No matter how hard I resisted, they refused to give up on me.  And I know it sounds silly to admit that I resisted their kindness and patience at first - because I didn't think that people like me deserved it, and that it was for other people. 

Now I know differently.  And I'm eternally grateful.



But I do want to single out Lenettia, Jennifer, and Amanda - three co-workers who have truly become three of my best friends ever - for giving me this wonderful gift as a reminder that I do have people in this world that I can count on.  People whose Give a Damn's weren't busted.

And in essence, I supposed they repaired my Give a Damn.  Funny how life works out, isn't it?  Is this the life I dreamed of?  No.  But is it a life that I am proud of?  Yes.

Finally, I want to say a few words about another man whose Give a Damn never had the chance to get busted.  Throughout his career as a world famous fighter, Muhammad Ali showed strength, perseverance, and dedication in his sport, his family, and his life - even when a debilitating disease ravaged his body.  He was a source of inspiration for so many, and he will truly be missed.



Rest in peace.

Friday, June 03, 2016

Jem Reviewed: Episode 11 - Last Resorts

Last time on Jem Reviewed, Jerrica lost her earrings...and her brain.  Here's hoping that the chill of the winter air brings her back to her senses.



This is Episode 11:  Last Resorts.



Jem and the Holograms are on vacation, and they've decided to cool off by skiing at a Colorado ski resort for a week.  I question the fact that they appear to be driving on a snow covered mountain in a convertible with the top down, but maybe having frostbite on your ears and noses is the hottest fashion trend of '86.  Or maybe the top is broken on the car.  Or maybe Jem is an idiot.

Regardless, once Jem and the Holograms arrive at the resort, they enter to check in only to find that there are no other guests around.  Strange.

We learn more about the situation from the owner of the resort, Rick Franklin.  The ski resort used to be a popular one before Jem came, but recently a new resort that opened up a few miles away on the same mountain has been doing better than his.  Furthermore, many of his guests are reportedly having some bad luck, with some of them even getting injured on his own ski trails.  That doesn't sound good.  In fact, it sounds very suspicious.



But Jem and the others aren't concerned.  They check into the resort - with Jem signing in as "Jem and the Holograms"!  Then they go out onto the slopes.



Aja is immediately thrilled to be out on the ski slopes.  The athletic one of the bunch has been itching to slalom down the mountain since they arrived, and she stops to take a deep breath of winter air...



...as she gets beaned by a wayward snowball. 



Oh, look!  The Misfits and Clash are on the ski slope too!  Pizzazz actually makes me laugh a little bit by referring to them as Little Miss Pink Hair and the Singalongs!  Okay, yeah, Pizzazz is a horrible person, but so help me, she has the best zingers!



It's time for another Misfits song.  The song is "You Gotta Be Fast", and this is a really great song.  I mentioned that Jem and the Holograms do the best ballads...well, I think the Misfits do the greatest rock songs.  It's hard to find a single thing wrong with this song.



After our little musical interlude, the Misfits continue to wreak havoc on the Holograms.  Thanks to Clash, Shana gets buried underneath a small avalanche of snow.



And Roxy and Stormer set up a trip wire that sends Aja and Kimber down to the ground.



By the time Jem arrives, she's confused to see Pizzazz by herself.  But Roxy, Stormer, and Clash soon arrive on snowmobiles and start pelting Jem with snowballs.  Four against one is hardly fair.

Is that an echo I hear?  Someone else just said it.  In what appears to be a Swedish accent.  Is ABBA making a special guest appearance?



Oh, wait.  It's just a Swedish skiier named - wait for it - Svenssen.  And, Svenssen just happens to be dressed in the same colours as the Swedish flag.  Great, first China is stereotyped, and now Sweden.  What next?  The Holograms run into Crocodile Dundee while touring Australia?

Whatever the case, Svenssen scares the Misfits away and tries to charm Jem.  Of course, we know that Jem kind of sort of is sharing Rio with Jerrica because she's too afraid to let him know the truth, so Svenssen really has no chance.  Still, I like the fact that he tries.  He's already showed that he has more balls than Howard Sands.  Then again, Pizzazz has more balls than Howard Sands.  In fact, STORMER has more balls than Howard Sands.

Can you tell I don't like Howard Sands? 



Luckily, Howard Sands is not in this episode.  But a whole bunch of angry guests are.  And they want their money back because they claim Rick's resort tried to kill them.  Rick is adamant that he is not at fault, and he seems to think that once again the new resort is to blame.



But Jem seems to have an idea.  She announces that she and the Holograms will put on a concert at the end of the week for all of the guests in the resort, and that they should at least wait until then to make up their minds.  Immediately the guests all decide that spending an evening with Jem and the Holograms at a ski resort might be a lot of fun, and they take Jem up on the offer.  But Rick Franklin is still insistent that a lot of the problems that he has been having is because of the new resort - which leads to the question...who owns the resort?



Oh.  Never mind.

Eric isn't riding alone though.  He's with a man from the bank - I believe it's the same bank that issued the loan that helped Franklin pay for his own resort.  I don't think we learn his name, so we'll call him The Banker.  We learn that Rick has fallen behind on his mortgage payments and that he is at risk of losing his lodge.  And naturally with all the bad luck that has been going on with skiers staying away, making the payments has become harder and harder.  But when Eric and the banker learn that Jem will be performing a concert at the ski resort - which should make up the difference he still owes, both turn as pale as the snow outside.



Now we get to learn the real plan.  Apparently, Eric wants to have the monopoly on the whole mountain and buy Rick's resort so he can double his profits, and he's asked the banker to help him do it because this is a cartoon, and in all cartoons, bankers are evil.  Luckily, the banker has a plan to knock Jem and the Holograms out of commission so they don't make their gig.



Unfortunately, the banker's plan includes our old pal Zipper.  And, Zipper decides to sabotage the ski lift.  Sigh...once again, Zipper displays his homicidal tendencies.  Where did they find this guy again?



Predictably, the Holograms are on the ski lift when it malfunctions, and the chair that Shana and Jem are sitting on starts to fall apart.  Jem nearly falls out of the chair to her death, but Shana grabs a ski pole and Jem manages to hold onto it!  Okay, unless Shana weighs like two thousand pounds, this should be impossible.  At the very least Jem should have taken Shana down with her! 



Rio sees everything happen, and he once again risks his life to save Jem and Shana - as well as Kimber and Aja, who happen to be in the chair directly behind theirs.



But whereas Rio literally tries to climb across the ski-lift to reach Jem and Shana, Svenssen arrives on a helicopter and manages to save all four of the Holograms as well as Rio before the whole chair lift crashes to the ground.  Wow, Svenssen's smart.



Once safely on the ground, Jem is grateful to Svenssen for saving her life, and Rio is disgusted, and tells SWANSON to stay away.  Kimber meanwhile tells Jem that if she doesn't want Svenssen, she'll take him!  Good lord, Kimber...you were slobbering all over Sean and Jeff, and now Svenssen?  Was it always the writer's intention to make Kimber the bicycle of the show, or was this a new plot development?  Seriously, Kimber.  Pick one man and stick with him!



Once word breaks of the ski lift accident, Rick Franklin is absolutely furious, and wants to confront Eric Raymond for the sabotage.  But their anger is misplaced, because we already know that the banker is responsible for Zipper destroying the ski lift.  Even Eric feigns ignorance, which tells me that not even HE is aware of what the banker is up to.  I get the feeling that the banker has ulterior motives here.  What those motives are, I don't know.

But whatever the banker has up his sleeve, it's absolute war between Rick and Eric.  It's suggested that a contest be held to settle the war once and for all.  A ski race between Jem and the Holograms and the Misfits.  The winners of the competition will earn the right to control both resorts.  Sounds like a fair idea and Jem is instantly on board.  But it's a really bad sign when the banker overhears the whole plan and gets a nasty scheme of his own.

Jem and the Holograms and the Misfits embark on their own training regimen in preparation for the big race.  It's time for another Holograms/Misfits mash-up not heard since "Click/Clash"!



This mash-up is slightly better than "Click/Clash".  It's also a nice mash-up and contrast over the Holograms eager work ethic and the Misfits complaining and wanting to be lazy.  I still don't care for the mash-ups, but I don't mind this one.



Before you know it, the race is about to begin.



On the Holograms team are Jem, Kimber, Aja, and Shana.  The Misfits are Pizzazz, Roxy, Stormer...and since there are only three Misfits at the moment, Clash is added in.  It seems like just as the Holograms took in Clash's cousin Video, Clash has wormed her way into the Misfits social circle.



The race is on, and it's neck and neck between the two teams.  But why is Zipper sitting in a tree watching the race with binoculars?




Oh...it seems as though the banker has arranged for a group of henchmen to set up booby traps all over the course so that Jem and the others lose.  



Poor Aja gets sidelined when she somehow gets yanked off course by a rope attached onto her ski outfit by one of the skiers.  Kimber falls into a hole that is covered by snow, and she too is knocked out of the race.



Shana gets a face full of snow caused by one of Zipper's men shooting her with a snowblower, and the shock sends her woefully off course into a flowing river filled with ice chunks!  What is up with Shana getting all the abuse in this episode?!?



Jem somehow seems to be holding her own.  Roxy tries to knock Jem down, severely damaging one of the JemStar earrings in the process, but Jem is like a Weeble.  She wobbles, but she doesn't fall down!  She does however go the wrong way on the ski path thanks to one of Zipper's men switching the sign around.  What else could go wrong?



Well, Clash decides to take matters into her own hands.  You know those nifty cymbal bracelets she wears around her wrists?  She smashes them loudly.  You might think that dinky jewelry wouldn't do much damage, but for some reason it triggers a massive avalanche.  An avalanche that puts Jem right in the way of danger.



Don't believe me?  This is Jem's "Oh, Crap, An Avalanche" face.

Fortunately, Jem has enough agility to outrun the avalanche's path and she skis into a cave.  She's protected by the cave walls, but the avalanche buries her completely.  Not good.




Even worse, she finds that she's trapped in the cave with a big grizzly bear who doesn't like having company over.  Okay, this storyline is getting really farfetched here.  This is a cartoon, not an episode of "All My Children"!

Rio, Svenssen, and Rick watch with sadness as the Misfits cross the finish line in tandem, and it appears as though all is lost.  But Rio is very concerned about Jem and the others, and worries that something terrible happened.  Rio and Svenssen agree to split up covering more ground that way.



As all this is going on, Aja is walking down the path of the ski slope, trying to make her way to the finish line when she stumbles upon Kimber, who informs Aja that the Misfits are up to their usual tricks again.  Aja helps Kimber out of the hole and they move on.



Not long after, they hear Shana screaming, and Shana's situation is much more dire than Kimber's was.  She's in danger of going over a gigantic waterfall, and all she has is a series of small ice islands to guide her.  She hops from island to island as Kimber and Aja hoist a rope across the waterfall.  After a couple of near misses, Shana grabs hold of the rope and inches her way toward solid ground.  So, the Holograms are safe.  I wonder if Jem's having better luck?



Wait a minute.  She's changed into Jerrica?  Oh, I get it.  The bear is standing in front of her blocking Synergy's hologram projecting.  It also doesn't help that she's running on half power since Roxy damaged one of her earrings on the slope.  And she accidentally dropped her good earring a good fifteen feet away because the bear scared her.  What's she going to do?

Rio somehow happens to dig his way into the cave, but is absolutely confused to see Jerrica instead of Jem!  Uh oh!  Does this mean that Jem's secret is finally out and Jerrica will have a lot of 'splainin' to do?



Well, the bear temporarily knocks Rio out, leaving Jerrica to do some major crawling around to get to her earring before Rio becomes the bear's next meal.  She grabs the earring, and uses it to transform Rio into an ugly, scary monster that scares the bear away!  Nice going!  Of course, Rio has now seen Jerrica in the cave, so just before Rio regains consciousness, she transforms back to Jem.  Wait...so, you risk your life against a freakin' bear to save the life of your love, but you're too afraid to have that conversation with Rio about your side gig and alternate identity?  Wow...just wow.

It's a good thing that both Rio and Jem are distracted by the fact that the cave walls seem to be glittering.  Heaven forbid this situation get any more awkward.

Back at Rick's ski resort, Kimber, Aja, and Shana are waiting for Jem to come back, and hoping that nothing bad happened to her.  The ski resort is filled with people, but they all came to see Jem and the Holograms.  And, well, as talented as Kimber, Aja, and Shana are, they can't perform without their lead singer.  In the corner, Eric and the banker are putting on their best Snively Whiplash masks, salivating over the fact that they won.  They won by cheating, but by gosh, they won!



Or have they?  It seems as though Jem and Rio are alive and have discovered the secret that the banker has been hiding.  Turns out that the real reason why the banker is so interested in Rick's resort is because the cave on his property contains pure silver inside!  So, that's what the banker was after.  He only wanted Eric to win the resort so that he could have free access to the silver deposits!  But of course, the banker scoffs at that claim, saying they have no proof.



But wait.  Here comes Svenssen with Zipper and everyone else involved in the plot to take Jem down.  I have no idea how he apprehended four men by himself, but Super Svenssen reveals that they have been working for someone - and it's NOT Eric.  After outing the banker as the real mastermind, Eric himself is shocked that he could be so ruthless.  Wow...you know someone is evil when ERIC is disgusted by their actions.  The banker is furious at Eric, and tells him that he's now going to jail, but Eric's more upset that he's lost his resort!  Couldn't have happened to a couple of nicer guys.

In a twist to how the episodes usually end, this one concludes with a song.  In this case, it's the song "Love Is Here", which is quite appropriate given the setting and the fact that this takes place at night.  




So, my thoughts on "Last Resorts"?  I do like it a lot better than "Adventure In China", and despite the impossibilities and silliness within the episode, I do think it was a classic good vs. evil battle.  I do wish the Misfits got more of a comeuppance though.  That would be my only nit picky point.

And since I didn't have any sort of Jem Trivia in relation to this episode, I'll add in a generic piece.  Did you know that there was a Jem Bible that Christy Marx wrote that basically has every detail about the show and its characters inside of it?  It's the same size as a full length novel, and when the show was in its heyday, Marx used to give it out to fans.  But copies of the Jem Bible now are very hard to find.

Next week, Shana gets a chance to design clothes for a fashion competition in Italy.  But when the Misfits do everything to destroy her self-confidence, can the other Holograms bring Shana's mood back up?