Search This Blog

Thursday, December 22, 2016

In Retail, It's Season's Greetings, Not Season's Beatings



It is Day #22 of the POP CULTURE ADDICT'S ADVENT CALENDAR, and it also happens to be the final installment of the Scrooged series that I have implemented for the Christmas season every Thursday.

And believe me when I say that I've saved the best for last.  Or, is it the worst for last?  I don't know.  Tell you what.  I'll let all of you be the judges of that.

This year, I've had a bit of a harder time getting into the spirit of the holidays.  At first I thought it had something to do with the fact that in my family, I'm the only one who is uncoupled and childless, and therefore, I'm left feeling like a fifth wheel of sorts.  I still feel that way on Christmas, but that's not the main thing that's bringing me down this year.



It's people's attitudes.  That's what's bringing me down.

Is it just me, or do people seem to be completely all about themselves?  I mean, I know, I'm preaching to the choir here given that I'm writing my feelings in my own personal blog that I've kept up for five and a half years now.

But the levels of narcissism and entitlement that I see this time of year - a time which should be about GIVING and not RECEIVING - it's bringing me down.

Thankfully, in the department that I am in right now, I'm spared a lot of that hassle.  As long as there are fruits and vegetables on the floor for people to buy, I get by unscathed.  But I could count how many Christmases that I ruined when I worked in other areas of the store.  When I was in electronics, it was sixty-seven.  And I guarantee you that of those 67 Christmases, none of them were my fault even though the customers made sure to let me know that it was.

I mean, I get it.  Christmas is a time that can be frustrating.  Trying to buy gifts for people you only see once in a while with money you don't have can be a bugger for anybody.  But we also can't forget the fact that Christmas should be about kindness and joy, treating each other with respect, and having fun either.

So when I hear some of my co-workers telling me stories about how irate, bullying customers have made them cry because they were in a mood and decided to take it out on them - I'm sorry.  I have a REAL problem with that.

First of all, how dare a person try to hurt the very people who are trying to help them as best they can.  Personally, that would call for grounds to have the customer escorted out of the building and banned from the store for life - well, much like that lady from Kentucky that made the news recently for making racist comments towards two customers.  If stores can ban people for harassing customers, I think they should be able to do the same for people harassing retail staff.

And, on that note, I think stores have every right to have the people working behind the register to speak up if they feel that a customer is intimidating or abusing them.  I mean, it's not an invitation for the cashier to pick the customer up and throw them into the display rack of Juicy Fruit gum, but I see nothing wrong with cashiers telling customers that their behaviour is unacceptable and that they need to stop or take their business elsewhere.  Businesses need to take the bull by the horns and stand up to abusive customers and tell them that it won't be tolerated.

And, just on a personal level, when it comes to dealing with customers myself, I live by the golden rule.  Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.  If customers are sweet, kind, and appreciative, there is NOTHING I won't do for them.  Well, aside from loading their groceries in the car and paying for them out of my own pocket.  If I did that for everybody, I'd be on the streets.  But in most cases, I'll perform excellent customer service for them because they deserve it.  That's not to say that I won't serve the surly ones either - but I'll be the first to admit that there are only so many allowances that can be made.

And if a customer is swearing at me and abusing me, I'll just walk away and let management deal with it.  Like I said, none of us in retail need to take customer abuse.  At Christmas or any other holiday.

Rant over.  It's Christmas.  Be kind to each other.  And if you're unable to behave yourself in a store...shop online.

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Christmas Wish Come True #2 - The Great Final Fantasy Switcheroo



According to the calendar, today is the first day of winter - and the shortest day of the year.  But don't worry.  I've got a great story to tell you for Day #21 of the POP CULTURE ADDICT'S ADVENT CALENDAR.  This is all about Christmas wishes and how one of my wishes came true.  But there's a little bit of a twist to how this story played out. 



The year was 1994, and one of the hottest games to be released on the Super Nintendo that year was "Final Fantasy VI". 



Only, it wasn't called Final Fantasy VI here in North America.  It was Final Fantasy III.  You see, in North America, only three of the six games at that time were released - I, IV, and VI.  And Nintendo relabeled IV as II and VI as III.  It's quite confusing and that's a lot of Roman numerals for all of you to decipher, but needless to say, Final Fantasy III or Final Fantasy VI was the big game that year.

And I wanted it.  I wanted it so badly.

I mean, it was a difficult enough game to even try and rent from the video store (and for that matter, remember when you COULD rent video games from a video store?).  At the time, Blockbuster hadn't arrived yet, all the copies at Video Visions were rented out, and there was actually a waiting list over at another video store in town!  Apparently it was such a popular game that I couldn't even rent it for one day - which was definitely not enough time to play it in!



Looking back on it, I can see why it was such a popular video game.  You got to fight in mechanical Magitek suits, the way you learned magic spells was ingenious and fun, and it's the only game in the series where some madman destroys the world and you have to fight in an apocalyptic wasteland to try and restore the balance.  It's also a very long game to play for the Super Nintendo.  It took me about 35 hours for me to find every possible secret within the game by the time I got the chance to play it.

By that December, I had managed to get the chance to rent the game once and only once - and I didn't even make it off the Veldt the first time around.  And I was salivating for more Final Fantasy VI action.  I mean, yes, I already had Final Fantasy IV (which in North America was Final Fantasy II, but you already know this story), but I had played that game over and over again.  I wanted the chance to play the newest game.

Finally, two days before Christmas Eve, a copy became available to rent.  And because the video store I rented it from was closed on Christmas Day, I had to have it returned before midnight on December 24th.  I figured that there was no way that I was going to get the game for Christmas because it was a lot of money at that time, so if I could at least rent it before Christmas, that would have been good enough.

So, Christmas Eve came and went, and while I was out getting some last minute things with the siblings, my mom returned Final Fantasy III to the store before the deadline was up so we could avoid the late fees.  And I was already trying to find a way to rent the game again after the holidays were over.

You can just imagine my shock when I opened up a gift that Christmas and I had my very own copy of Final Fantasy III in my hands!  My family also was pretty much guaranteed that I would be spending the rest of my Christmas holidays playing this game, but they were glad that I got the game.

Now, here's where things get really funny.  I immediately disappear to my room to play the game - but what was strange was that I already had the game in my Super Nintendo.  How was it that I had two copies of the same game?



It was there that I quickly discovered what had happened.  When my mom took back the video game...she accidentally grabbed the wrong one!!!  She ended up returning my copy of Final Fantasy II!  I mean, it was an honest mistake.  My mom knows very little about video games.  She saw the words Final Fantasy and just went with it.

So, on Boxing Day, we called the video store to report the mistake, and apologized profusely for it and we wanted to make the switch so I could get my old game back.  What we didn't count on was that the game was already rented out to another person!!!  Oh, I can just imagine the disappointment in that person's eyes when they thought they were getting Final Fantasy III, but instead got the wrong game. 

But I guess they weren't too disappointed in the long run because when I FINALLY got back my copy of Final Fantasy II - two of my save files had been erased and replaced with their own save files!  Which meant that I had to play that game all over again! 

Of course - that waited until I finished playing Final Fantasy VI.  My own copy this time.

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

December 20, 1970

Sometimes when I try to come up with topics for the Tuesday Timeline portion of the blog, I sometimes stumble upon a topic that I call a happy accident.  In today's case, this subject is the only idea that I could come up with that was holiday related - but the fun thing is that when I was doing research on it and watched the clips on YouTube, I found it to be enjoyable, fun...and I couldn't wait to talk about it!



It's also appropriate for Day #20 of the POP CULTURE ADDICT'S ADVENT CALENDAR!

Of course, as always, we'll be taking a look at the events that didn't make the cut - starting with...

69 - Vespasian enters Rome to claim the title of Emperor

1606 - The Virginia Company loads three ships with settlers, setting sail to establish the first permanent English settlement in the Americas - Jamestown, Virginia

1803 - The Louisiana Purchase is completed

1860 - South Carolina is the first state to make an attempt to secede from the United States of America

1916 - The Battle of Verdun ends, resulting in victory for France, during the First World War

1917 - Actress Audrey Totter (d. 2013) is born in Topeka, Kansas

1939 - Actress Kathryn Joosten (d. 2012) is born in Chicago, Illinois

1942 - Calcutta, India is bombed by Japanese air forces during World War II

1946 - "It's a Wonderful Life" premieres in New York City

1951 - Nuclear power becomes a reality as a plant in Idaho becomes the first to generate electricity

1957 - The first production model of the Boeing 707 makes its first flight

1971 - Doctors Without Borders is established by Bernard Kouchner and a group of French journalists

1973 - Singer Bobby Darin dies at the age of 37

1984 - The Summit Tunnel fire takes place near the community of Todmorden, England

1985 - Pope John Paul II announces the institution of World Youth Day

1989 - The United States Invasion of Panama deposes Manuel Noriega

1995 - 159 people are killed when American Airlines Flight 965 crashes into the side of a mountain in Colombia

1996 - Astronomer, cosmologist, and astrophysicist Carl Sagan dies at the age of 62

1999 - Canadian country singer Hank Snow passes away at the age of 85

2007 - Queen Elizabeth II surpasses Queen Victoria as being the oldest monarch to rule over the United Kingdom

2009 - Actress Brittany Murphy dies, aged just 32

And for celebrity birthdays, join me in wishing the following famous faces happy birthday!  Birthday greetings for Beverly Pepper, John Hillerman, Kim Weston, Bobby Colomby, Peter Criss, Uri Geller, Dick Wolf, Alan Parsons, Cecil Cooper, Oscar Gamble, Peter May, Jenny Agutter, Michael Badalucco, Blanche Baker, Anita Ward, Billy Bragg, Mike Watt, Robert Cavanah, Rich Gannon, Chris Robinson, Jonah Hill, and Joanna "JoJo" Levesque.

All right.  Now comes the fun part.  Can you guess what date I'm going to go back in time to this week?  Go on.  Take a guess!  Okay, okay, I'll tell you.



Believe it or not, we're going to go back in time 46 years to the date of December 20, 1970.

Now, I do not remember this date at all.  It was ten and a half years before I was born.  But it was on this date that a very special edition of a talk show that aired every Sunday night until 1971 was broadcast.

I wish I could have been alive to have seen the Ed Sullivan Show when it was in its prime.  Sadly, Sullivan died seven years before I was born, so I've never known a world without Ed Sullivan in it.  It's a real shame too, as his talk show was one of the premiere spots to catch the hottest bands on the music scene.  I mean, we're talking about the talk show in which the Beatles made their American debut!  Now that's a very big deal!  I think that maybe only the Ellen DeGeneres Show could even slightly compare to the Ed Sullivan Show when it comes to introducing new talent.

Of course, it wasn't just musical groups that the Ed Sullivan Show hosted.  In fact, Jim Henson and his Muppets made at least twenty-five appearances on the show between 1967 and 1971!  Add the fact that Sesame Street had debuted in 1969, and you might say that Jim Henson was extremely busy as the 1970s arrived.



On December 20, 1970, the Ed Sullivan Show aired a very special holiday special which featured Ed as the narrator of the story that he was reading to a group of children - who were the children of members of the crew that worked on the very show.  And given that this would be the very last holiday special that the Ed Sullivan Show would air before going off the air, it had to be something very special.

After watching it online just recently, I have to say that not only did Sullivan and the Muppets succeed in creating a heartwarming special, but it also featured the first appearance of a well-known Muppet (though he went by a completely different name in this television special).



So, sit back and hear the story of "The Great Santa Claus Switch"!

Now, your favourite Muppet performers are a part of this special, and of course, Jim Henson plays the role of unlikely protagonist Fred, the Christmas elf (as well as a sidekick of the main antagonist), but other Muppet performers in this Christmas story include Richard Hunt, Frank Oz, Fran Brill, Jerry Nelson, John Lovelady, Danny Seagren, Cary Antebi, Greg Antonacchi, Byron Whiting, Marilyn Sokol, and John Byrum.  As far as human characters, there was only two - Santa Claus and the nasty Cosmo Scam.  Both were played by Art Carney.



The story begins at the North Pole, where Santa's six elves - Zippity, Skippity, Hoppity, Bing, Bong, and Fred are busy finishing up the toy order in time for Christmas Eve.  Santa Claus is excited to be spreading the Christmas magic around for another year, but ironically enough, his magic trick of trying to make a coin disappear fails each and every time.  Fred is doing his best to try and make Santa's workload a lot lighter, but nobody seems to take him seriously at all, and he sometimes struggles to be heard.  Believe me.  Sometimes I know exactly how Fred feels.



Unbeknownst to the elves and Santa in a nearby cave is the hideaway of the nasty Cosmo Scam.  He and his menagerie of creatures which include two gigantic monsters in green and blue named Thig and Thog, a spider like creature named Lothar, and this curious looking creature...



...which kind of looks a lot like GONZO, don't you think?  Truth be told, this is really the first appearance of Gonzo in the Muppet franchise, but back then he was given a different name - Snarl.  And Danny Seagren provided his voice back then.  By the time he was renamed Gonzo, Dave Goelz had assumed the role full-time.

Back to the story, it appears as though Cosmo is getting really annoyed with Christmas in general and he decides that he wants to sabotage it.  And how he plans on doing exactly that is by kidnapping Santa Claus and switching places with him until Christmas is over.  It seems like an ingenious plan.



And considering that Cosmo makes the switch with Santa while Fred is singing a song about wanting to be more helpful, I'd say his job was made surprisingly easy!

But as Cosmo quickly learns, sometimes it's not easy to fool everybody.  One by one, beginning with Fred, the elves suspect that Santa isn't exactly acting like himself.  I mean, one of them catches Santa smoking a cigar - which to me is a death wish as his beard could ignite like a roman candle - but that would be the child in me saying this.  But as the elves discover that Santa isn't really Santa, Cosmo imprisons the elves one by one - replacing them with his own minions.



Meanwhile, Santa tries to break through the hard shells of Thig and Thog by teaching them the true meaning of Christmas, and showing them that giving is much better than taking.  That was where the real magic of the holiday lies.  But can Santa get through to them in hopes that they release him on time for his trip around the world?  And will an unlikely hero step up to the challenge of stopping Cosmo from ruining Christmas?

Well, as a special treat, I'd like you to click HERE.  I figure since I got to watch this television special, it's only fair that you all have the chance to as well.  Just make sure you do it now.  I've no idea how long it will stay up!

Monday, December 19, 2016

A Gift For That Special Teacher In Your Life...

All right, it's T-minus six days until Christmas morning.  This means, I have six more days of the POP CULTURE ADDICT'S ADVENT CALENDAR to go.



Which makes this Day #19.

It's also the final day in which I have to talk about Christmas memories at school.  And to be honest, I was trying to come up with a topic for the day. 

I mean, I know that we had a ton of Christmas parties in school...but I already wrote about that a few years ago.

There were also times where the whole school gathered in the gymnasium to sing holiday favourites - and where we learned our janitor had a secret talent of playing the piano.  But, I've already talked about that as well.

So, I thought outside of the box, and wondered...were there times in which I remember doing something nice for someone else in school?  And, the answer is yes.

In fact, throughout my elementary school days, I can remember doing something nice for most of my teachers - well, at least until I reached high school, that is.  In fact, quite a lot of students in the class took part in this tradition of sorts. 



How many of you remember buying Christmas gifts for your teachers back in the day? 

I know it was an optional thing at my elementary school, but I think a lot of kids made the decision to buy their teachers a special gift as a token of thanks for helping them learn how to write in cursive, multiply by nine, and figure out why baking soda and vinegar makes model volcanoes go kaboom. 

And yes, I was one of those kids who took part.

It was actually kind of a fun experience.  We'd present our gifts to the teacher on the last day of classes before Christmas break ended, and the teacher would often open them up in class.  Now, granted, I suppose this made the kids who did not bring a gift feel sort of awkward, but none of the teachers stressed that we HAD to buy them anything.  Besides, like the Simply Red song states, for some families money was too tight to mention.  Or, some may have thought their teachers were complete jerks and didn't deserve a gift.

I mean, certainly they had the right to feel that way.  Believe me, if my parents weren't insistent that I give my first grade teacher a gift, I never would have given her a present at all.  I can see where they were coming from.  Maybe they thought that if I gave her a box of chocolates, it would soften her towards me and she'd be a little bit nicer.



It didn't work, but at least we took the high road.

Now, I should mention that when it came to buying gifts for our teachers, more often than not, it was our parents that bought and chose the gifts, wrapped the gifts, and signed the tag.  Basically our only job was to bring the gift to school.  But at least I had some ideas that differed from everyone else's. 



I remember one time, I gave a gift of a wooden calendar to a teacher - I think it was third grade.  Mind you, the calendar was useless after 1990 (though I suppose he could have reused it in 2001), but it was a pretty decent gift.  Another time, I gave my sixth grade teacher a wooden clock which was absolutely beautiful.  And you know, to be honest, she deserved it as she was my favourite teacher in elementary school.



However, sometimes the students would give gifts that were quite similar.  I don't know if my fourth grade teacher managed to finish the eighteen boxes of Pot of Gold chocolates that she had been gifted by most of the class.  And, I'm wondering if my second grade teacher found a spot for all of the coffee mugs that she was given by her students.  At least all of the twelve mugs she received had different designs on them!

Still, I think that was part of the fun of giving gifts to teachers.  Sometimes you never knew how creative - or how monotonous the gifts could be.  And what made it really nice was the fact that every single gift given to our teachers was appreciated.  Or at least they faked it long enough to wait until they could sell it at their garage sales six months later. 

Again, the tradition of giving gifts to your teacher sort of petered out by the seventh grade.  By the time I entered high school, we never bothered - mainly because of the fact that by then I had four or five different teachers, and that could get quite costly!  But it was a cool tradition to take part in while it lasted!

Though part of me wonders just how many of those gifts our teachers received ended up getting re-gifted?  I'm predicting 40%.  I'm optimistic.

So, now here's a question for you.  What gifts did you give your teachers in school if you did?  And if you're a teacher yourself, what are some of the strangest or most creative gifts you've ever gotten from your students?

Sunday, December 18, 2016

I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas

Two weeks ago in the POP CULTURE ADDICT'S ADVENT CALENDAR, I chose a song that was contemporary and modern.  Last Sunday, I chose a song that was more classic and traditional.



This time around, on Day #18, I'm totally going novelty.

Why you ask?  Well, some of the greatest Christmas songs that have ever been recorded have been silly, goofy, and just plain weird.  I mean, let's see what ones I can come up with on the spur of the moment.



Well, there's Dominick the Donkey, the song that essentially begins with the hee-hawing of a donkey in heat...or at least that's what I had always thought.  Very annoying, but somehow it fits.



And who could forget the Chipmunks singing about how they want Santa to hurry fast so that Alvin can get his hula hoop!



There's also Bob and Doug McKenzie and their twelve days of Christmas...which to me is a celebration of all things Canada.  And getting drunk.  But that's beside the point.

Anyway, there's a lot of silly songs that one can sing during the holiday season.  But there's one song that I have deemed the silliest of them all.

Part of the reason why the song is so silly is because of the fact that it was sung by a ten-year-old girl.  You might think that might be too young for somebody to have a holiday favourite, but keep in mind that the same year this song came out, a 6-year-old named Barry Gordon recorded the song "Nuttin' for Christmas".  And, well...he grew up to be Donatello in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon!

In the case of this song, our singer DID want something for Christmas.  One might call it a rather unusual gift.  She didn't want a crocodile, or a rhinoceros.



Only a hippopotamus'll do!



Yes, today we're going to listen to the song "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas" sung by Oklahoma-born child star Gayla Peevey for the Christmas season of 1953!  It seems hard to believe that song is over 60 years old now.  It was one that played on our local AM radio station for years, and it's a song that has been covered by a lot of different artists.

And it's also a song that has an urban legend attached to it. 

The legend states that the song was originally recorded as a bit of a fundraiser for the local zoo in the town where Gayla lived.  And, how when Gayla was singing about wanting a hippopotamus for Christmas, she was really referring to wanting one for the zoo. 

It's a nice story, but one that Gayla herself proved to be not exactly true.  What really happened was that a local promoter in the area heard the song, liked it enough to play it on the radio, and it soon became one of the biggest holiday hits of the year.  And while the song was played, he launched a campaign to actually raise money to buy the little girl a hippopotamus for Christmas - which she ended up receiving as a gift that Christmas!

Of course, it would be extremely difficult to housetrain a hippopotamus (not that I've actually ever tried, mind you, but I doubt my neighbours would appreciate it), so Gayla donated it to the zoo.  And that hippo reportedly spent the rest of her life at that zoo - a whopping 50 years!

And in case you were wondering, the hippo was named Matilda.

Saturday, December 17, 2016

Frosty Returns



Welcome to Day #17 of the POP CULTURE ADDICT'S ADVENT CALENDAR!  I can't believe that Christmas is almost here and that the 5th edition of the calendar is almost over.  I'm going to have to come up with some big surprises for the upcoming week.

Well, as I look outside, do you want to know what I see?  Here...have a look.



Snow.  LOTS and LOTS of snow.  I guess that Winter Storm Warning that we had last night came true.  I guess the one thing that I can see as being a positive about snow around this time of year is that if the temperature remains about the same for the next eight days, this means a white Christmas for us here.  And, for some reason I find Christmas much more enjoyable when there's a little bit of snow on the ground.  It sure beats last year where it was 30 degrees warmer than it should have been, or the year before where we had a Christmas Eve thunderstorm.

I can guarantee you that kids are loving this kind of weather right now.  They see it as endless fun of making snow angels, building snowmen, hiding in snow forts, and trying to catch snowflakes on your tongue. 

I can also guarantee you that most adults hate this weather right now.  Shoveling snow, driving on slushy roads, having to bundle up with dozens of layers...yeah, you get the drill.

Well, today's television special is one that has both worlds colliding in a huge way - and how one magical snowman with a corn-cob pipe, a button nose, and two eyes made out of coal got caught right in the middle of it.

Unfortunately, it also happens to be a television special that wasn't exactly well received.  Truth be told, I don't like it as much as the classic 1969 television special "Frosty the Snowman".  But, the positives of the show are that it had a great voice cast and a fairly decent plot - even if it wasn't quite executed that well.



Today we're going to look at the CBS television special "Frosty Returns", which originally aired on December 1, 1992 and has been broadcast annually on the network ever since.  This time around, John Goodman voices the role of Frosty, and this was one of the first projects for Mad Men star Elisabeth Moss, who plays Frosty's sidekick, Holly.  Jonathan Winters also serves as the narrator for this special, much like Jimmy Durante did for the first Frosty special.

The story begins on the last day of school before Christmas vacation in the tiny town of Beansboro.  The town is famous for its winter carnival that is held during the Christmas holidays, and with there being so much snow, it's almost a guarantee that it will be a huge success.

But for Holly, she's struggling to find her Christmas spirit.  She only has one friend - a geeky kid named Charles who happens to be obsessed with the weather.  She thinks that if she performs a magic act at the carnival, she'll be able to enjoy the season more, and make some new friends in the process.  But while she is practicing some of her tricks with Charles, her magic hat blows off of her head and lands on a nearby snowman, transforming him into Frosty.



And then the three sing a song about how snow is awesome.  Okay, so the song selections aren't that brilliant, but Mark Mothersbaugh does all the musical scoring for this show, and I've liked him ever since he was in Devo.  So, I'd say it's sort of hit and miss.

Well, one person who doesn't think snow is awesome is a man by the name of Mr. Twitchell (Brian Doyle-Murray).  He's really the most eccentric man you could ever find in a Christmas special.  One might say that he's a bit of a nutter - that's Britspeak for crazy.  He hates everything to do with snow, and he plans to make it all go away.  And he also plans on using his hatred of snow to become the King of the Winter Carnival...which sounds like the most ironic thing ever, but just go with it. 



How he plans on doing this is with a new invention he calls "Summer Wheeze".  The name may not be attractive, but the product certainly is for those people who hate snow.  One spray, and the snow melts away permanently.  This means that all a person needs is one can of spray and their lawns will remain green all year long.

Needless to say, his sales pitch seems to work, and Beansboro quickly embraces the new product.  Soon after, Beansboro goes from a winter wonderland to a place where the streets are covered in greenery.



But of course this means big trouble for Frosty.  In a world where Summer Wheeze reigns supreme, he finds himself on the verge of extinction forever.  And while he does have allies like Holly and Charles to keep him from fading away, there's not a whole lot of time.  Can the three of them convince the townspeople that snow can be a good thing in hopes of saving Frosty from a watery grave?

Well...I don't want to spoil it...there may be the rare person out there who hasn't seen it.  But given how most Christmas specials have a happy ending wrapped up in a big red bow, I'd say that the odds are good for Frosty.

Friday, December 16, 2016

Jem Reviewed: Episode 39 - Roxy Rumbles

Last week on Jem Reviewed, we watched what could be considered the closest thing to a holiday special that Jem ever did.  Oh, and Danse sustained an injury that nearly killed her career, but she got through it just fine. 



It's Day #16 of the POP CULTURE ADDICT'S ADVENT CALENDAR, so let's see what this episode is all about.



Ah, Episode 39:  Roxy Rumbles.  Gee, I'm gonna take a wild guess here and say that Roxy is the focus of today's show.  Which is good, since she's never had a standalone episode yet.



We're at a television studio where the Misfits are filming a promo for a music video show of some sorts, and the woman in charge is explaining that the script for the promo will be shown on a teleprompter.  I didn't realize that teleprompters existed back in 1987.  I thought they still used cue cards back then.  You learn something new every day, I suppose!



There's just one minor snag.  Roxy has a bit of a secret that seemingly only Stormer knows.  Roxy is illiterate.  Now, back in the 1980s, illiteracy was a huge problem, and this sparked lots of those "Give A Hoot, Read A Book" events to fight illiteracy.  In fact, that seems to be the theme of this entire episode. 

When it comes time to film the promo, Pizzazz, Jetta, and Stormer are on cue with their lines, and they do a really good job.  But when Roxy takes her turn, she completely flubs the lines and announces the name of the wrong band!



And when Pizzazz and Jetta notice Roxy's blunder, they get into a fight on the soundstage!  Actually, some might find that more entertaining than the actual promo itself.  But either way, four Misfits in a pile on the floor doesn't make great television, so they're escorted out of the building while Jem and the Holograms film their own promo.



Oh, look...Jem and the Holograms are with Ba Nee, and they're filming a promo for their "Rock Out Illiteracy" tour!  Told you this would be the main theme of the show!  The only other thing of note during their promo - aside from Ba Nee being able to read better than Roxy - is the fact that the tour's first stop is Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.



Back at Misfits Music, Eric is doling out the money for all the Misfits - minus expenses like Pizzazz's bedazzled rhinestone outfit.  Seriously, Pizzazz...bedazzled rhinestones?  Were you channeling Dolly Parton?



When it comes time for Roxy to get paid, she's upset that it's in the form of mere fifty dollar bills.  Turns out that Roxy smashed a guitar that was worth $24,000!!!  What was the guitar made of?  Gold?  Of course, Roxy's holding the bill upside down - but because of her illiteracy she can't understand why.

And Pizzazz and Jetta make jokes about Roxy being stupid because of her illiteracy, which really sets Roxy off.  She decides that she is going to quit the Misfits and storms out of the building.  Stormer proves that she's a friend to Roxy and tells her to come back, but Pizzazz and Jetta keep making fun of her.  Part of me wishes Stormer would leave to find Roxy and start up their own band...this is cruel of Pizzazz and Jetta to hone in on Roxy's insecurities and bully her because of it.  No wonder she turned out this way.



But this leads into what I think is one of the better songs in the series.  Roxy takes a turn as a solo artist in the song "I'm Gonna Change", and it's a beautiful song and video that depicts the confusion and shame that Roxy is feeling about her inability to read.  I also love the storyboard of the video which switches from black and white to colour.  And, in this edition of Jem Trivia, Roxy's singing voice is done by Ellen Bernfeld - who also sings for Pizzazz as well.  Though Ellen tweaks it a bit to make Roxy sound a little different from Pizzazz.  Nice touch there.



As Roxy finishes her song, a bunch of leaves blow around her.  But a strange orange piece of paper lands in her hair.  Roxy pulls it out and immediately recognizes it as a lottery ticket.  Now, part of me wonders how she could know that if she can't read, but maybe she's played the lottery before and knows what a ticket looks like.



Roxy goes to the lottery headquarters to see if her ticket is a winner.  She hands the man the ticket and prepares to leave, but the man stops Roxy dead in her tracks when he announces that her ticket is worth one million dollars!  Somewhere in Los Angeles, there's someone weeping...but Roxy is cheering and gives the man a huge hug!  Wow, you know something...when Roxy is with the Misfits, she's cruel and vicious.  Away from them, she's quite pleasant!  Maybe that's why Roxy and Stormer are so close...they're both more similar than they think.



At any rate, with Roxy becoming an instant millionaire (which in 1987 would buy a lot more than a million dollars now), she finds the motivation to quit the Misfits for good, and to tell Pizzazz and Jetta a few choice words before storming out.  They won't be pushing Roxanne Pellegrini around any more! 



Naturally, Pizzazz pitches her own fit and storms out of the recording studio.  But Stormer notices that Roxy is dropping money out of a big bulky suitcase and wonders where she got it all from.  I'm wondering why Roxy would think it would be a good idea to walk around the streets of Los Angeles with a million dollars stuffed in a suitcase!  But we've no time to think about common sense here.  Stormer is worried about Roxy and she and Jetta follow her to see where she's going.



They follow her to a ritzy department store which Stormer describes as the richest store in town.  Sure enough, Roxy has decided to drop some major cash on a shopping spree and a makeover for herself.



Now, in the video of Roxy's makeover, they reuse the song "Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!" from Episode 9 - but to be honest I think a better song would have been "Designing Woman".  Either way, Roxy looks absolutely gorgeous.  In fact, if you dyed her hair a little bit more pink, she could pass as a Jem lookalike!  It's a wonder they didn't use her instead of Clash in that episode where Jem's reputation was being ruined.



So after Roxy blows a bundle on new clothes - and apparently a new sportscar to go along with it - I'm actually wondering if Roxy has any money left!  The doorman of the department store tells Roxy to be safe going home or something like that.  And this prompts Roxy to declare that she is going to go back to her hometown and rub her success in everybody's faces! 



Oh, and look at that.  Roxy hails from Philadelphia.  Hmm...isn't that where Jem and the Holograms are kicking off their "Rock Out Illiteracy" tour?



Ah, yes...there's the Holograms now, with Raya handing out books to the people in the crowd.  Um...it's a nice idea, but...if someone is illiterate, they wouldn't be able to read it.  Still, at least they're trying.

But a glammed up Roxy doesn't really care about Jem and the Holograms.  She's more interested in going back to her old crummy neighbourhood to rub her success in everyone's faces.  To which I reply that Roxy only got that way through a lucky break and she's already spent a quarter of that million on herself.



She happens to come across her old friends, "The Red Aces", who are talking to Ba Nee for some reason.  It seems as though Ba Nee is trying to convince them that reading is fun, but they blow off the little girl.  Roxy approaches as soon as Ba Nee leaves and the leader of the Red Aces, Linc, is immediately attracted to her new look.  I get the feeling that Roxy and the Red Aces all grew up in the wrong part of town, and it wouldn't surprise me if Roxy dropped out of school because the public school system failed her.

Anyway, Roxy has decided to come up with a way to get everyone in Philadelphia's attention.  She's going to throw her own party in the streets.  In fact, she plans on hosting it just a block away from the Jem and the Holograms stage so that she can steal all of the attention away from her.  Yep, you can make a Misfit look like a fashion model, but she'll still be a Misfit.



Later that day, Jem and the Holograms and Ba Nee are trying to get back to their stage, but a huge traffic jam has blocked their way.  When they try to figure out what the commotion is, they find this.



Welcome to the Roxy Rumble!  It's a carnival in the middle of the street!  There are free rides for the kids, free food for the adults, free T-shirts for everybody!  Did I mention that everything is free?  Apparently, Roxy has no idea about investments and saving, so she's been using her million dollar windfall to fund the whole thing.  Why do I get the feeling that Roxy is going to be dealt a massive dose of karmic retribution?



I mean, yes...Roxy set out to do what she wanted to do...she stole all of the people away from Jem's concert.  But given that the topic of the show is illiteracy, I wonder if Roxy gave any thought to acquiring permits to host the event, or making arrangements to pay the vendors, or making sure that she ordered enough stuff.  I mean, one would have to know how to read to be able to plan an event this large, shouldn't they?



Sure enough, the Roxy Rumble hits a snag when people get a little carried away and start demanding more stuff.  It's not long before the T-shirts and free food disappear and the people in the crowd start fighting with each other over the stuff.  It's like an outdoor version of Black Friday!



The fights get wildly out of control, with people punching each other out, and booths getting destroyed, and the merry-go-round collapsing into a giant pile of wood and horses.  I sure hope nobody got hurt!



Even Jem and the Holograms are caught in the middle of the crossfire as they dodge flying hot dogs and shredded T-shirts!  It's a real mess.  I wonder how long it will take for the Philadelphia police to show up.



Apparently not long.  Well, okay, several hundred people got injured or covered in mustard before they got there, but still...they came.



And it appears as though Roxy is in a lot of trouble.  She never got a permit to host the event, she signed contracts promising to repair any damages, and she signed contracts to pay off the food vendors, and Roxy is left wondering what she is going to do.

Now, one might think that Jem and the Holograms are doing a good deed for Roxy by stepping in and taking over Roxy's problems.  And sure enough, thanks to Jem, Kimber, Raya, Shana, and Aja, all of the vendors get paid, the repairs get paid for, and nobody gets sued. 



But Jem can't resist pulling the "I Told You So" card by rubbing it in to Roxy about how important it is to read the fine print in a matter of fact voice that makes Roxy tell her off.  Jem just shakes her head and sarcastically accepts Roxy's gratitude.  See, it's times like this that I wouldn't mind Roxy punching her in the nose.  Jem's really gotten a huge ego this season, and it's not very pleasant to watch.  But what is nice to watch is seeing the rest of the Holograms handing out information to the Red Aces about improving their literacy.  After all, they got a first hand account of what not being able to read can do with the Roxy Rumble disaster.



And we get another rehash of the song "Open a Book".  And if that song sounds very familiar - well, we just heard it five episodes ago.  Oh, great, so we aren't even finished Season 2 yet and they're already reusing Season 2 songs?  Well, look at it this way...what other song could they use?



Oh, and when the tax collectors come to take their share of the winnings that Roxy won (remember, in the United States, you have to pay taxes on everything that you win via lottery, game show, or Survivor - right, Richard Hatch?) - it leaves Roxy without a penny to her name!  It's a valuable and expensive lesson for Roxy to learn.



Roxy at this point has hit rock bottom, and she looks as if she is about ready to puke.  But this is where I think one of the sweetest moments of the whole show comes into play.  You see, Ba Nee has watched the whole thing unfold, and has quickly figured out that Roxy is illiterate.  So, Ba Nee approaches Roxy with a book, and gives it to her, telling her that it will help her learn how to read and that she can use it as a stepping stone in becoming more literate.  Even more surprising and touching is that Roxy doesn't punch Ba Nee out or cuss at her.  Instead, she takes the book and seems genuinely touched that someone would care enough about her to want her to succeed.  I get the impression that there hasn't been a lot of people in Roxy's corner.



Of course, once Eric and the Misfits arrive, Roxy tells Ba Nee to go away.  I guess even a Misfit can't be seen with tears in her eyes and love in her heart.  Turns out that Roxy signed a contract with Eric prohibiting her from leaving the Misfits during the time that is listed on the contract meaning that Roxy is forced to go back to Los Angeles with the Misfits, and this essentially ends Roxy's millionaire status for good.  Now, you'd think that this would be a sad ending.



But surprise, surprise...Roxy is actually reading the book that Ba Nee gave her.  Sure, she's not reading it very fast, but she's making an honest effort.  Of course, Jetta can't resist poking fun at Roxy because she's a genuine bitch in general, but Roxy throws her out, locks the door, and continues to read the book - determined to learn how to read once and for all and not letting anybody stand in her way.

Wow.  This might be my favourite episode of the series yet.  Season 2 is showing a lot more depth to characters that were previously one note.  I was thinking that Roxy was an unapologetic sociopath who hated everything.  But after this episode, I'm really liking Roxy a lot.  She's clearly been hurt a lot, and built up a wall around people so that nobody can break through it.  It took the love and caring of a little girl named Ba Nee to make Roxy see that not everyone is out to hurt her.  And I love the fact that Roxy and Stormer seem to have developed a close bond.  Maybe Roxy helped Stormer become more assertive while Stormer helped Roxy become softer.



Next week...A Very Special Episode of Jem!  And, it airs two days before Christmas!  Um...yay?