I've
been doing a lot of thinking about connections. How we make them. How we
break them. How we do everything to
keep them going, and how we're constantly trying to make new ones. How sometimes the connections we make aren't
as simple as we believe them to be, and how sometimes the most complex
connections turn out to be the ones you need the most.
I
think the idea of connecting with other people is a must for everybody on this
planet. I think as much as some of us
try to deny it, we all need to have some form of interaction with other people
because those interactions help keep us sane.
But
what if you have a difficult time making such connections? What do you do then?
Well, I can only speak for myself, but I consider myself to be one of those people
who have a really difficult time getting close to people. What that reason is, I'm not sure. I have reason to suspect it is because I am
considered to be an introvert in a small town filled with extroverted people,
and I have always felt as if I don't quite know my place in this world.
Or it could be because I'm as ugly as Quasimodo and repulse everybody that I
come into contact with. But, somehow I
don't think that's quite the reason.
I
think going back to when I was a kid (and going back to a previous post I wrote
about being the odd one out in my family born between generations), I seemed to
form connections with some of the most interesting people from my
community. I couldn't tell you the
first friend I made in elementary school, but I could tell you that the first
adult friend I made was Margaret, the head librarian of our town library at the
time - whom I lovingly referred to as "the lady with the bun in her
head".
(You
see, she always wore her hair in a bun style, hence the phrase. Funny thing is, I think she got a kick out
of it.)
And
it was like that throughout my early childhood. I would have rather chatted with the yard duty teacher than play
with people my own age. I'd rather have
talked to the guy delivering bread to the Quickie store instead of the
teenagers crowded around the pinball machine.
I formed connections with the most random people in the most unusual
circumstances and I saw nothing wrong with it at all. Of course, I had parental units who supervised every interaction
to make sure that it was safe (which was appreciated), but that was how it
was.
I
guess part of it comes from the fact that I am the kind of person who doesn't
really like small talk. In fact, I
can't stand the whole "Hi, how's your day" garbage that most of us in
the world take part in at some point of the day. I prefer to engage in deeper conversations that provoke thought
and encourage creativity. I'm thinking
that could be why I connected with adults more when I was a kid. I was surrounded by adults in my childhood,
and I liked talking to them. I learned
more from the bread delivery guy about life than any of the kids in my class
could have taught me. Again, it seems really
strange to some, but that's the way I made connections with people.
I
think it also explains why I have so few friends in my community, but have
hundreds of connections outside of town.
I've tried figuring it out, and I believe I have friends from four
provinces, twenty-nine states, and five different countries! That's quite a smattering of people
scattered all over the place, isn't it?
And yet, I've only ever really met one or two of them in person.
Whether
it was because we shared a common interest on a pop culture website, or whether
we befriended each other through mutual friends, or in once case bonded because
we tag teamed a troll on Facebook and decided that we should be friends because
of it, I find it easier to connect with people online than I do in the real
world.
Why?
Because
online I get the chance to think carefully about how I want to phrase an
opinion and I can edit it if I feel it's not exactly how I want to come
across. It's kind of similar to what I
do with this blog. My online persona is
definitely more of a social butterfly than the dried up cocoon that I present
myself as in the real world. And that's
not me poking fun at myself. That's a
known truth!
Of
course, this leads to a bit of a problem.
You
see...the friendships that I have made all over the world through a couple
thousand dozen keystrokes the last fifteen years are completely real to
me. I hold them in very high regard,
and I appreciate them. But it is such a
horrible feeling to know that they are so far away. It's not as if I can go out to grab a burger with them, or catch
a movie with them, or just wander through the nearest park and talk about life
as we spin ourselves sick on the swing set.
Online friendships are real friendships...but I wish I lived closer to
them.
And,
I guess there's a small sliver of doubt in myself about just how real those
friendships are. I worry that one day I
will come face to face with these people that I have been friends with for so
many years and they will be so disappointed with the actual face to face encounter
that they never speak to me again. Or I
do something to screw it up. Or, they
think I look like Quasimodo and run screeching towards Notre Dame University in
a panic.
Okay, that last thing won't happen.
Notre Dame University is about 900 miles away from where I live and
they'd probably pass out just before they reach the New York state border.
I'm probably worrying over nothing really. I tell myself that I've known these people
for fifteen years now, and that they won't be disappointed if we ever met face
to face. I have to trust that to be
true, and I do.
Because when it comes to real friendships and real connections...you never know
exactly where you will find them. They
can come out of nowhere from the most unlikely sources.
If you thought last week's episode of Jem Reviewed was weird enough with the
whole retelling of Robin Hood, brace yourselves. This week's episode multiplies the weirdness factor by a hundred.
This
is what some would call one of the more infamous episodes of the series so
far. Episode
48: Journey to Shangri-La.
But,
wait. I know what you're saying. Shangri-La does NOT exist. Well, according to the Holograms' new friend
Andrew - who I believe is introduced as a professor of
music or something similar - Shangri-La DOES exist! And it's the very place where the Holograms can go to improve
their sound and to add new flair to their already popular music. This I have to hear.
Andrew
explains that while he has never seen Shangri-La up close in person (surprise,
surprise), he does believe that it exists, and inside the gates of Shangri-La
are the secrets of the finest music ever heard. Secrets that date back thousands of years. Kimber asks if the city has all of the old
Monkees records, which gets a sarcastic comment from Aja, but Jerrica seems
convinced that they should at least try to find it and they immediately book a
flight to the area where they believe Shangri-La is. Tibet.
It
looks like Jem and the Holograms aren't the only ones who are ready to book a
flight to Tibet. Apparently, Techrat
has his computer set to give him alerts on Jem's whereabouts at all times which
upon retrospect is insanely creepy. I
bet he's the one who programmed all cell phones to monitor your location on
Facebook too!
Of course,
when Techrat tells Eric that the Holograms are going to Tibet, he doesn't
exactly know the reason why they're going.
So when Eric informs the Misfits of the Holograms' plans, they look at
him as if he has six heads. But when
Eric seems to suggest that there might be something musically related to the
trip, Pizzazz jumps on board with thwarting their plans. Wow, talk about blindly leaping to
conclusions. For all they know, the
Holograms could be staging a benefit concert to promote the goodness of yak
milk!
Some
time later, the Holograms arrive in Tibet, all bundled up for the long hike
through a series of mountains covered with snow. Andrew is there too, along with their guide named Milkey. Oh, lord, don't tell me they're actually
going the yak milk route...
The
Misfits have arrived in Tibet as well along with Eric and their own sherpa
guide, Miyan. And,
apparently the Misfits have taken their entire wardrobe and all of their
electric equipment with them. Geez,
you're only staying a few days. You're
not actually relocating to Tibet.
Though, it might be fun to watch Roxy and Jetta choke down yak milk.
Okay, okay...I'll shut up about yak milk.
At
least the Holograms seem to be doing well in the hike. They've even decided to sing a song about
how beautiful and magical they believe Shangri-La to be. And yes...you will be hearing this
particular song played. A lot.
"Shangri-La". Definitely not one of my favourite Jem
songs. In fact, I've noticed that the
music choices for these later episodes is not exactly Grammy Award
winning. In fact, I don't even think
they'd win a Teen Choice Award surfboard.
But, I suppose that they had to incorporate one song that at least had
the words Shangri-La. What next, them
singing a song about Dairy Queen?
Well,
after that rousing Shangri-La singalong, the Holograms decide that they need to
rest (and mainly because the sherpa guide that they hired has gotten them lost
on their way to Hunza Village). Hunza Village is the destination that they have
to reach first before trying to find Shangri-La. Apparently an elderly woman who lives there is the only one who
knows where it is. And, there's our
plot point.
Jem hears a noise in the background, and she wanders off to investigate. And as soon as she walks a few steps she is
surprised by a giant fur-covered beast who growls at her!
It's the BUMBLE! Well, okay, it's just
a yeti. The fact that Yukon Cornelius
and Rudolph are nowhere around is a sign.
But surprisingly, this yeti is of the friendly sort, and lets Jem in
close enough to touch him. Hell, if
Kimber were around, the yeti would probably try to hit on her! Too bad Andrew scares him off! It's only after the yeti flees that Milkey
drops the truth bomb that the yeti could actually lead the group to Hunza
Village. Nicely done, Andrew. Looks like someone's not getting any yak
milk tonight!
Up
above, the Misfits and Eric are intimidated by the fact that to get to the
village, they have to climb a giant ice wall.
Of course, Miyan has no problem with making the climb himself, but to
take four women, a man, and 2,000 pounds of luggage with him? Yeah, that's going to be a challenge.
And naturally it's Eric who ends up falling off the mountain first, followed by
Pizzazz, Roxy, Jetta, and Stormer.
Fortunately, Stormer's rope snags just before she goes kersplut on the
ground, but they are all trapped on the mountain with no way to go.
The yeti has seen this unfold, and not knowing how mean the Misfits are, he
decides that he's going to go for help.
And since he already met Jem, he figures that Jem and her friends can
help out.
Andrew makes a comment that he can't believe they are getting help from an
abominable snowman, which prompts Kimber to make a comment that they can't
believe that they're helping the Misfits get to safety. Well, gee, Kimber. It wouldn't be very Jem-like to let them turn into Otter Pops on
the side of a mountain. Then again, I
could see Jem lecturing them on mountain climbing safety after they rescue them
ending off with "climbing a mountain safely makes you a superstar!".
One
by one, the Holograms help the Misfits climb up the mountain. Highlights include Andrew catching Jetta as
she loses her grip and slips, and Kimber telling Stormer to ease off the yak
milkshakes and lose some weight! Nice
to see that Kimber and Stormer can still joke around with each other.
It
comes as no surprise that once all the Misfits are safe, they go and abandon
the Holograms before they get the chance to climb the mountain. Aja wonders why the Misfits are there in the
first place, but Jem understands that they're probably looking for the same
thing that they are...and they now have a huge head start. I think Jem's more upset that she didn't get
to lecture the Misfits.
The
Misfits arrive at Hunza Village - which sort of resembles a campground filled
with lots of tents. It's definitely not
the most elegant place the Misfits have visited. It's even more disappointing for the Misfits when they learn that
none of the expensive electronic equipment they brought for the trip will work
as there is no electricity in the village at all. Yeah, I can see how a remote village surrounded by mountains
might find it difficult to stay powered up.
But
there are people. Two people emerge
from one of the tents - an elderly woman, and a young woman who appears to be
around the same age as Stormer and Kimber.
The young woman introduces herself as Li San, and the
elderly woman is her great-grandmother.
I couldn't quite catch her name when Li San said it, but this elderly
woman is the person that they need to see to help show them the way to
Shangri-La.
It's just too bad the woman won't help them. She takes one look at Pizzazz and deems the
entire group to be UNWORTHY of the experience, and refuses to help them. HA!
Bet Princess Pizzazz isn't too pleased right now!
But Li San does tell the Misfits that if they want, she will help
them lead them as far as she can take them.
While her great-grandmother is the only one who knows the true way, she
can help them go in the general area, which is good enough for them.
By the time that Jem and the Holograms arrive at Hunza Village,
the Misfits have already departed with Li San.
Only the elderly woman is around to greet them. She also points out that while the Misfits
have already left, they don't know where Shangri-La is, and she expects them to
return later that night. Jem takes the
opportunity to ask her to show them the way to Shangri-La, but the woman takes
one look at Jem, calls her a fake, and walks away saying that she can't help
them. WHOA! Can we keep this woman?
She is quite literally the best thing about this weird episode!
It appears as though Li San is doing her best to try and find the
location of Shangri-La, but she finds herself at an impasse, and doesn't know
where to proceed. The Misfits decide to
sing her a song along the way.
Ugh...ANOTHER repeat of a Misfits tune?
I mean, don't get me wrong, I like "You Oughta See The View From
Here" which first appeared in Episode 14 - but it seems like forever since
we had an original Misfits hit!
After they finish singing, the Misfits and Li San slip and slide
down an icy hill - which I admit looks like it would be a lot of fun!
Of course, that fun ends when the Misfits realize that Li San has
got herself into a prickly pickle of a situation. She's slid under a patch of snow briar plants which are very
sharp. Li San is uninjured, but she
warns the Misfits to stay away from the patch.
Stormer is insistent that they try to rescue Li San, and Pizzazz and
Roxy actually agree with her!
But in the process of trying to save Li San, Pizzazz and Roxy both
get sliced by the snow briars. In what
seems to be a first for the show, we actually see Roxy bleed because of
it! Mind you, the horrible Korean
animation that is present in this episode kind of makes it look strange, but
still, the blood is shown!
After Li San is rescued, both Pizzazz and Roxy collapse on the
ground. Li San explains that the snow
briars are poisonous, and that Pizzazz and Roxy need to get back to Hunza
Village as soon as possible, or else they will die. But Stormer and Jetta realize that they are hours away from Hanza
Village, and they don't know how they will make it back in time.
Oh, look. Here comes our
friendly neighbourhood yeti to make another appearance. Too bad Stormer and Jetta throw rocks and
snowballs at him to make him run away.
Seriously, that's just rude.
Especially since the yeti genuinely wants to help. He picks up Pizzazz and Roxy and urges the
others to follow him back to the village.
He's simply trying to save them some time! Besides, it's not as if they can just call an Uber to take them
back. One, Uber doesn't service
Tibet. And two, Uber wasn't around in
the 1980s.
It doesn't take long for the yeti to bring back the sick women,
and Stormer and Jetta are legitimately concerned for their friends. Now, for Stormer, this is nothing new as
she's always been soft-hearted, but seeing this side from Jetta is really
something shocking.
Unfortunately, it's bad news for Pizzazz and Roxy. The snow briar poison is not that easy to get rid of. You can't get a vaccine or swallow a
pill. The only way to cure the illness
is to play the music of Shangri-La. Jem
tries desperately to get the old woman to show her the way to Shangri-La, but
the woman refuses, as she still deems Jem as false.
Jem is visibly frustrated and isn't sure what to do...until she really starts
to think about what the woman is saying.
Of course Jem is false because Jem is NOT who she really is. All it takes it for Jem to utter the words
"Show's over, Synergy", and she transforms back into Jerrica
Benton. That makes another person who
knows Jem's real identity.
But it's funny that once Jem turns into Jerrica, the woman basically turns into
a fangirl and compliments Jerrica on her magic skills! And the best part is that now that Jerrica
is in front of her, she has no problem giving her the map to Shangri-La! Wow, Jerrica...great thinking!
Of course, she changes back to Jem before joining the others,
telling them that they have the map to Shangri-La. Eric, Jetta, Stormer, and Li San stay behind to watch over the
feverish Roxy and Pizzazz while the others try to locate Shangri-La.
It takes a few minutes for the group to find the location, and once they do,
they're disappointed to find nothing but a mountain peak. But once Jem stands out in front, the
heavens give way, and a magical village appears out of nowhere.
This is the mythical land known as Shangri-La. It's a place where people never age a day,
where people have lots of fun...
...where people look like this.
Seriously, this guy sounds a little TOO happy to be here.
Actually, he's the gatekeeper of
Shangri-La, and he is there to welcome them all. But he also states that once you enter Shangri-La, you may never
leave. Well, Pizzazz and Roxy...it was
nice knowing you two!
Well, okay, there is ONE way that they can leave. All Jem has to do is agree to learn the
songs of Shangri-La by being given a special lesson from the High Lama of Shangri-La.
The rest of the Holograms decide that they're going to wait until Jem
returns. I just hope it doesn't take
twenty years for Jem to learn the music!
I do have to admit, watching the music lesson between the High Lama and Jem is
probably one of the better scenes of this incredibly weird episode. It's really farfetched from beginning to
end, but the High Lama is a patient teacher, and Jem is an eager student. Before long, Jem is skilled in playing the
music of Shangri-La, grateful for the experience and thankful for the
opportunity.
Of course, when Jem announces that it's time to leave, the rest of
the Holograms consider staying in Shangri-La for the rest of their lives. Yeah, great idea. Let's let twelve girls under the age of fifteen take care of
themselves. Let Roxy and Pizzazz turn
into corpses. Who cares, right? Well, apparently Jem cares. And, it's Jem that convinces everyone else
to go back to Tibet to save one-half of the Misfits from croaking. At least someone has common sense!
Now, when Jem and the Holograms return with the musical
instruments the High Lama gave them, they start to play a song for the sick
girls...and I must warn you. This next
video is incredibly trippy, so if you're under the influence of alcohol or
drugs, you may want to skip this one.
This is definitely not the Shannon single of 1983. "Let The Music Play" is definitely one of the strangest
singles in the Jem discography. It
sounds like some new age music from the 1960s and the imagery sort of resembles
a sketch from the Claymation Christmas Special. And yes, the word Shangri-La is repeated about seventy-eight
times. As I said, it's very trippy.
But it seems as though this musical drug does the trick, as Pizzazz and Roxy
immediately recover from the sickness they were suffering from. And for a moment there, I almost think that
both of them will show the Holograms a little ounce of gratitude.
Well, that is until Pizzazz and Roxy start yelling at Eric and
their sherpa guide and storm off towards Shangri-La. Sigh...well, it was a nice moment for a little bit.
At least Jem and the Holograms have really gotten a lot out of the
experience, and thank everyone for their hospitality.
Oh yeah...about the Misfits quest to find Shangri-La? They fail.
Miserably. And Jem and the
Holograms sing Shangri-La once more to rub it in their faces.
So, looking back on this episode...it's really not one of my favourites. I think it's marginally better than
"Aztec Enchantment" and "The Presidential Dilemma", but
it's just a little too insane for me to really fall in love with it. The reappearing yeti was on a little too
much, and the poisonous brambles were just a plot point that seemed tacked
on. I appreciate the concept of the
episode, but I feel it wasn't executed as well as it should have been.
Well, let's hope next week, we have a more believable plot. Let's see...Jem and the Holograms get caught
up in Techrat's time machine and end up visiting three historical places.
Sigh...is there any way I
can skip Episode 49 and go on with Episode 50?
This
week in the Wayback Wednesday post, I thought that I
would choose a topic that is very close to my heart. And the accent colour that I have chosen is your clue for this
post. And no, it's not Valentine's Day
related. That was yesterday.
I'll
leave you to ponder that as we take a look at some of the other events that
happened on February 15th.
1493 - Christopher Columbus pens an open letter
describing his experiences in the New World
1764 - St. Louis, Missouri is established (then called
Spanish Louisiana)
1804 - The Serbian Revolution begins
1862 - General Ulysses S. Grant attacks Fort Donelson,
Tennessee during the American Civil War
1879 - President Rutherford B. Hayes signs a bill that
would allow female attorneys to argue cases before the Supreme Court of the
United States
1898 - The United States declares war on Spain following
the explosion of the battleship USS Maine near Havana, Cuba
1907 - Actor Cesar Romero (d. 1994) is born in New York
City
1909 - 250 perish in the Flores Theatre Fire in
Acapulco, Mexico
1927 - Actor/comedian Harvey Korman (d. 2008) is born in
Chicago, Illinois
1928 - Author of the Clifford the Big Red Dog series,
Norman Bridwell (d. 2014) is born in Kokomo, Indiana
1933 - Giuseppe Zangara attempts to assassinate Franklin
D. Roosevelt in Miami, but instead shoots Anton J. Cermak, then the mayor of
Chicago
1942 - The Fall of Singapore takes place during World
War II
1952 - King George VI is buried in St. George's Chapel,
Windsor Castle
1964 - Actor/comedian Chris Farley (d. 1997) is born in
Madison, Wisconsin
1965 - Singer Nat King Cole dies at the age of 45
1971 - Britain completes the decimalisation of its
coinage
1972 - Sound recordings are granted U.S. federal
copyright protection for the first time
1982 - Eighty-four workers lose their lives off the
coast of Newfoundland when a severe storm sinks the "Oceam Ranger", a
drilling rig
1984 - Actress/singer Ethel Merman passes away at age 76
1992 - Jeffrey Dahmer is sentenced to life in prison for
the serial murders of seventeen men and boys between 1978 and 1991
1996 - Actor McLean Stevenson dies at the age of 68
2003 - At least eight million people in six hundred
cities all over the world protest against the Iraq War
2007 - Voice actor Walter Edmiston dies at the age of 82
2013 - Russian citizens get a shock when a meteor
explodes above them, injuring 1,500 people and shattering windows in buildings
near the area
2016 - Canadian-American singer Vanity dies at the age
of 57; Actor George Gaynes dies at the age of 98
And
blowing out candles on their cake today are the following famous faces; Frank Dunlop, Claire Bloom, Brian Holland, John Helliwell, Marisa Berenson, Art Spiegelman, Melissa Manchester, Jane Seymour, Matt Groening, Janice Dickinson, Christopher McDonald, Ali Campbell, Martin Rowson, Jane Child, Craig Simpson, Birdman,
Alex Borstein, Renee O'Connor, Miranda July, Conor Oberst, Ashley Cafagna-Tesoro, Amber Riley, and Zachary Gordon.
Okay,
so you know that today's topic has to do with the colour red.
And
now you know the date that today's Wayback Machine is sent back to...February 15, 1965 - the same day that Nat King Cole died. While Nat King Cole was a wonderful singer and entertainer, alas,
he is not the subject for today's piece.
Though,
you know the first clue is that it's partly red. And your next clue is that it is entirely Canadian made. Which definitely makes this Canadian born
blogger stand on guard for thee in pride.
And
why shouldn't I feel proud of my country?
This July, Canada marks its 150th birthday! One hundred and fifty years of endless winters, maple syrup,
poutines, and hockey games.
Of course, no Canadian celebration would be complete without the appearance of
the banner that many Canadians look at with pride.
A banner that was first introduced on this date in history fifty-two years ago.
A
banner that has a distinctive symbol smack dab in the middle of the flag that
is quite unique to Canada.
Ladies and gentlemen...I present to you the Canadian flag. Hard to believe that in a country that was
born one hundred and fifty years ago, our flag is only a third of the age of
the country.
But
it's true. Prior to 1965, the Canadian
flag looked something like this.
The
flag above is known as the Canadian Red Ensign. First used in the 1890s, the Red Ensign was flown in places
"wherever place or occasion may make it desirable to fly a Canadian
flag".
And
of course, prior to 1965, the Union Jack was flown prominently, as Canada and
Great Britain have such tight bonds with each other (which explains why we have
so much delicious British chocolate here).
But,
in 1964, Prime Minister Lester B. Pearson was frustrated with the fact that
Canada did not have its own independent flag even though it had been
established as an independent nation back on July 1, 1867. He formed a committee to create a new flag
independent to Canadians, and thus the Great Flag Debate was born. Pearson wanted the flag to be changed, while
former Prime Minister John Diefenbaker did not.
Pearson
recruited the help of lawyer John Ross Matheson to begin researching the steps
needed for Canada to adopt a new flag design, and he knew that he had a
challenge ahead of him. While many
English speaking Canadians loved the use of the Red Ensign flag, French
speaking Canadians in Quebec and New Brunswick weren't enamored with the Red
Ensign. In 1964, Pearson brought forth
his own design for the new flag, which some dubbed the "Pearson
Pennant".
As you can see, there were some similarities to the current design, except
there were blue stripes instead of red, and the maple leaf design was more of a
cluster than a single red maple leaf.
Not a bad design, but certainly not one that I would have voted for.
Ultimately, put to a vote by an all-party committee (consisting of seven
Liberals, five Conservatives, one NDP, one Social Crediter, and one Creditiste,
the design chosen was created by George Stanley - who based his design on the
flag of Royal Military College of Canada in Kingston, Ontario (seen above).
Long story short, the new flag design was passed in early 1965, Queen Elizabeth
II proclaimed the new flag in January 1965, and on February 15, 1965, the flag
that Canadians have adopted as its own was inaugurated at a ceremony at
Ottawa's Parliament Hill - just in time for Canada's centennial two years
later.
And I am sure that the flag will be flown at
every opportunity a few months from now when Canada celebrates its 150th
birthday.
Here
it is. Valentine's Day. A day in which we are supposed to spend as
much money as possible in order to make our special sweethearts fall in love
with us all over again. A day in which
we're supposed to give enough chocolates to our loved ones so that they may
develop diabetes one day. A day in
which we find out that if a man doesn't go to Jared to get a diamond pendant
for his sweetheart, she'll dump him for some guy named Jared.
In
case you haven't figured it out yet, Valentine's Day is not exactly my favourite holiday. I don't think I
ever really have tell you why.
I mean, yes, sucking on cinnamon hearts and giving out DuckTales cards
to your second grade classmates might have been fun when we were kids. But for anyone who is suffering from a
broken heart, a frosty heart, or who can't seem to give their heart to anybody,
Valentine's Day is just another reminder of that fact.
But
I'm trying to understand why I have such a hard time with Valentine's Day in
general. I certainly don't feel this
much passionate hatred over any other holiday.
I love Thanksgiving. I love
Canada Day. I love Christmas even
though the commercialism associated with it now is slightly
manic-depressive. Valentine's Day to me is just another day to me.
I think a large part of it is that I don't agree with the idea of devoting just
ONE day out of the 365 per year to show someone how much you love them. In most marriages that I know, if a person
was only putting effort into the romance 1/365th of a year, I have my doubts
that relationship would last a second year.
And while "The Simpsons" sort of spoofed that concept with the
creation of the fictional holiday known as "Love Day", I still think
that you don't need to buy red roses, chocolate covered strawberries, or
heart-shaped balloons to demonstrate love towards a person. It should be a daily thing.
Secondly,
if you really stop and think about the day, St. Valentine was locked in a
tower, stoned, and beheaded. If anybody
tried spending Valentine's Day the way that St. Valentine did, they'd probably
end up in jail! I'm not sure how that
translated to buy your sweetheart a chocolate Cupid...but I guess if they bit
off Cupid's head, it might be somewhat historically accurate.
And
lastly...the reason I don't have much love for Valentine's Day is sort of a
personal one. And while I don't really
like to dwell so much on the bad parts of life, I feel as though I want to do
it here so that people who may be in the same boat as me can feel as though they
aren't alone.
Valentine's Day is rough enough if you're single. Trust me, I've been single for what seems like forever. But if that was the only thing that was
bothering me about February 14th, I'd consider that to be a bit of an
overreaction.
The
truth is - and it's only taken me until a few years ago to realize this about
myself - is that the reason I don't have a significant other in my life is
because I have a hard time accepting love for myself.
I
mean, for people who have struggled with social anxiety and social depression
(something that I've openly talked about here in this space), it's not that
easy to get to meet new people. It's
even harder to try and present yourself as a confident and successful person
when you don't feel that you're either of those things.
Everyone
has gone through life wishing that they could change something about
themselves. Throughout my life, the
only thing that I want to change about myself is the fact that I wish I could
see myself the way that others see me.
And what I mean by that is seeing myself through the eyes of people who
like me...not the idiots who didn't.
I
don't exactly consider myself to be much of a catch for a lot of people. You know that website for single people
called "Plenty of Fish"? I was
the guppy that people threw into the ocean.
I think I lasted a few months before I realized how ridiculous the site
was. I feel the same way about
eHarmony, Match.com, Christian Mingle, OurTime, and Ashley Madison.
(Well, okay, if you're looking for love on Ashley Madison, you're clearly
looking in the wrong place.)
But you know, my idea of what love is meant to be is admittedly kind of
distorted. I know that people who fall
in love do so with all of their heart, but I don't know if I've ever felt that
way on a romantic level. And I think
part of the reason why could be because I've had a hard time finding things
about me that I consider attractive.
Believe me...Reggie Mantle I am NOT.
I
guess somewhere along the way, I guess I just sort of accepted the fact that I
don't really believe in the concept of soulmates, and that I don't believe that
there really is somebody for everybody out there. And, I think somewhere along the way, I sort of made the decision
that love isn't meant for everyone. At least
not the romantic, lovey-dovey, kissyface love.
And I mean, I'm just a couple months away from my thirty-sixth birthday. People always tell me that I'm still young
and that it will happen. But I'm of the
frame that if it's meant to happen, it will.
And if it does happen and I am in the right frame of mind, I believe
that it can be a beautiful thing.
But at this point in my life, I don't really need it or want it. And I'm starting to realize that it's okay
to feel that way sometimes, no matter what society seems to tell you. It's perfectly fine to be single, and
honestly, the way that I feel about love in general, I think it's probably the
best thing for me. I have to learn to
accept who I am first before I can open my heart to anybody else. And I think that society's version of love
doesn't necessarily have to match the way that I see it.
Love is love.
Whether it's for a spouse, a family member, a friend, a pet, or even
yourself, love is what matters on this day and every other day.
So you know what? I'm going to be my
own damn Valentine today. Happy
Valentine's Day to me!
Previously onJem Reviewed, the girls took a trip to Alaska to help Ba Nee's
pen pal save the home of her pet seal...and despite that plot description, it
turned out to be a pretty decent episode.
Let's
hope the next one goes off without a hitch.
This is Episode 47: Renaissance Woman.
So,
as predicted, this episode is set in jolly old England at a gigantic
Renaissance Faire. The Holograms have
been invited to perform at the festival which coincides with a street vendor
market and an archery tournament. It's
a nice idea, but considering that this is a Renaissance Faire, shouldn't the
Holograms have lutes and harps? I don't
think they had electric synthesizers in the 1600s. Danse and Rio are also in attendance, as Rio is helping with the
concert set-up and Danse is going to be...well, dancing.
It
appears as though the Renaissance Faire is the major event leading up to the
historic event that is going to take place at the castle. You see, the host of the event - Reginald Carfax - is turning twenty-one years old in a couple of days. And in addition to getting sloshed, he'll
become the Lord of Carfax County alongside his trusted advisor, Duncan Broadbent. I'm sorry, but whenever I
hear the name Carfax, I think of those commercials with the talking fox telling
you how you can find your perfect used car.
And, well...I'm pretty sure they don't have cars at Renaissance
Faires.
Interestingly
enough, the general public of Carfax County aren't too pleased with him taking
over the title. I wonder what that's
about. But, I suppose there's no choice
in the matter. His father died when he
was a toddler, and the edict states that the heir can only become Lord when he
turns 21.
Oh,
well...it's time for Jem and the Holograms to perform a song. And, pay close attention to Reginald in this
video.
This video for "Love's Not Easy" is accompanied by Jem Trivia. This song was actually
supposed to be used in Episode 20, but was left on the cutting room floor. It's finally heard in full here...which
means that for the first time since Episode 26, we have three brand new
songs. Mind you, they're all by the
Holograms as the Misfits are absent from this episode. But still...three new songs! This one's not too bad, though I'm
distracted by the fact that Reginald seems to have fallen for Danse. I swear, if Danse becomes the next Kimber,
so help me...
After
the performance is over, Jem and the Holograms take a break where they see two
soldiers clad in orange get confronted by a guy who is dressed like...Robin
Hood? Weird. Anyway, the Robin Hood lookalike manages to grab the money that
the soldiers are holding and takes off into the distance, leaving Jem and the
Holograms confused over what just happened.
Some
time later, the Holograms change out of their Maid Marian costumes and into
their Kylie Minogue outfits, and they're talking about what happened when in
the distance they spot two vendors complaining about how little money they have
collected during the Renaissance Faire.
I have a sneaking suspicion that our "Robin Hood" is going to
be making an appearance right about...
...see,
what did I tell you? Oh, and his name
is Robin Goodfellow. Logic
tells me that this is going to be the secondary protagonist of this
episode. I mean, the word good is
written in his name! It's a sign! And, well...he does live up to his name by
stealing from the rich and giving to the poor.
Oh, and surprise, surprise. He falls in
love with Danse too. Man, Kimber must
be seriously dying on the inside that she's not the object of everyone's desire
for Season 2. I suppose that Robin has
reason to fall for Danse...she seems to believe him when he tells her not to
trust Reginald. I get the feeling that
there's a story behind this, but now is not the time to discuss it.
No,
instead we're going to peek in on the archery competition where many have
entered including Jem and the Holograms.
Before we go judging their athletic skill though, we're treated to a
scene in which Reginald and Duncan are verbally bashing Robin Goodfellow. I guess this tells me that they're onto the
fact that he stole money from the guards the day before.
And
to try and trap Robin, Reginald announces that the winner of the archery
competition will win a bonus cash prize of five thousand pounds! I have no idea what the conversion rate is
between British money and North American money, but back in '87, I imagine it
to be a nice chunk of change. But Danse
has figured out the plan and she rushes off to try and warn Robin to stay away.
As
luck would have it, Danse happens to run into Robin in the middle of a dense
forest, and when Danse reveals that she trusts him, he tells her part of the
story. Robin does NOT trust
Reginald. Aside from tales of him
abusing his power to make himself richer (because really what politician hasn't
done the same thing), he also throws out his belief that Reginald is NOT the
true heir of Carfax County! Which of
course leads to the question...who is?
Danse tries to get Robin to stay away from the archery competition, but
Robin insists on taking part anyway despite the danger. You gotta hand it to Robin...he's certainly
stands for his causes.
As
predicted, most of the Holograms suck at archery. Kimber and Aja don't even seem to understand how to shoot the bow
and arrow, and Shana only manages to strike the ground. Raya seems to be the only one who grasps the
concept and scores a perfect bulls-eye!
Of
course, that bulls-eye gets overshadowed by the three that Robin Goodfellow
shoots in a row. And Robin's talent as
an archer all but seals his fate as Reginald spots him and orders his men to
take him into custody.
Mind
you, custody means he's locked up in the basement of the castle. But still, Robin's pretty much out of
commission, and Danse is very upset.
Danse
is even more upset when a little boy arrives with a message from Reginald
requesting her appearance at dinner the night before he becomes Lord of Carfax
County. She absolutely refuses to go
have dinner, lunch, breakfast, or even order off the dollar menu at Wendy's
with him! Can't say I blame her, since
he had her other love interest arrested.
And
with Robin behind bars, it leaves the soldiers free to collect a 90% tariff on
all the wages earned by the fair vendors!
90%?!? Not even Canada's carbon
tax is that steep!
It's here that Jem decides to contact Synergy and...wait for it...conjures up a
Robin Hood outfit of her own. Oh,
great. I suppose this makes Kimber
Friar Tuck and Rio Maid Marian.
And
with Jem dressed as Robin Hood, I suppose it's time for another song.
I'm not liking "To The Rescue" as much. Other than the fact that we see Raya's archery skills come in
handy once again, and that the vendors get their money back from the thieving
soldiers, the song itself is kind of dull.
Man, for an episode to have all original music, the music is quite
bland.
Though
the vendors - who are grateful to Robin...Jem, I guess - confirm what Robin was
saying to Danse. The future Lord is not
a generous soul and takes practically all of the earnings of the working class
people. Considering that the Lord is in
charge of all job creation in the county, they pretty much have no choice but
to live in poverty when he assumes the throne.
Danse isn't too shocked, given that Robin told her his suspicions that
Reginald had no claim to the throne, but Jem and the Holograms seem to think
that this is reason enough to bust into the castle of the future Lord Carfax
and rescue Robin Goodfellow. This
prompts Jem to tell Danse to reconsider Reginald's offer to have dinner with
him.Danse responds as if she'd rather
decapitate herself with a rusty old sword, but Jem seems to have the idea that
if Danse can distract Reginald long enough, it will allow them more time to
explore the castle to see if they can locate Robin, or discover the truth behind
Reginald's real identity.Begrudgingly,
Danse accepts.Though, I get the
feeling that she'll be armed with a can of pepper spray should he try anything
smart.
While Danse is schmoozing with Reginald, the Holograms decide that to avoid
getting all caught at the same time, they'll split up into two groups. Jem, Raya, and Aja will search the upper
levels of the castle, while Rio takes Kimber and Shana to the lower levels.
And of course, Jem's group happens to run into danger first as a group of
soldiers spot them and give chase through the castle's many hallways. But it's here that Jem remembers that she
has a secret weapon called Synergy, and she asks her to conjure up a hologram
of stampeding horses to scare the guards away, which works like a charm.
Of course, Jem is so distracted by the horses that she was proud of herself for
creating that she didn't realize that a second group of soldiers snuck up
behind them. Now Jem, Raya, and Aja are
locked up in a tower where Jem reveals that no hologram can help them escape
now. Way to state the facts, Captain
Obvious.
Oblivious
to the fact that half the Holograms are now locked up too, Danse and Reginald
share what could be considered one of the most awkward dinner dates ever. At least the food sort of looks good. Of course, when the subject of Robin
Goodfellow comes up, Reginald is disgusted that Danse seems to defend him at
every opportunity.
Reginald's
disgust grows even more when Duncan barges in and informs Reginald that the
Holograms have infiltrated the castle and have pledged their allegiance to
Robin. Duncan tells Reginald that Danse
can't be trusted, and sure enough, Danse has done a disappearing act. She actually climbs up on a ledge in front
of a portrait of who I am assuming is the previous Lord of Carfax. It's enough for her to stay hidden long
enough for Reginald and Duncan to leave.
Danse
tries to find a way out of the castle, but she is grabbed from behind! Oh great, it seems as though she's trying to
break Kimber's record for getting kidnapped too! Fear not. The man who has
grabbed Danse is Robin's right hand man, Jolly Jack. I think he must be the Friar Tuck of this tale.
It
appears as though Jolly Jack is useful though.
He and Danse successfully bust Jem, Raya, and Aja out of jail. But my question is...what happened to Rio,
Shana, and Kimber?
Well, it looks as if they have found
Robin's cell and are now working to try and help him escape. It seems as though they believe Robin's
theory about the Lord being an imposter, and they want to find a way to prove
it before the coronation begins at midnight.
Did I mention that midnight is only a few minutes away?
Oh
look! Kimber's found a crate filled
with cassingles of Roxette's "Dangerous". Too bad that song didn't get released until 1989! Oh, no, wait. They're just fireworks.
Because we really needed to have the word dangerous in big bold letters
to let us know that fireworks can kill you.
Rio even has to tell Kimber that they can't use the fireworks to let
Robin out of jail because he'll explode.
Gosh, how stupid does Rio think Kimber is? I mean, yeah, Kimber's brain isn't as well developed as the
others, but she's not a complete zombie here.
Luckily
before anyone can blow anything up, Jem's group arrives in time and Jolly Jack
rescues Robin. But they still have to
find a way to prove that Reginald is a big old fake.
Well, I suppose if they happened to come across a scene where a bunch of
Reginald's soldiers are putting up a brick wall where a prisoner is chained
behind it, that would be the decisive evidence they need! That prisoner looks very familiar
though. Have we seen him before?
The
Holograms haven't discovered this yet...but they seem to have found the secret
treasure hoard of Reginald in another cell. It seems as though Reginald's been a very naughty and greedy
boy. Unfortunately, this only serves to
prove that Reginald is a jerk. They
still have to find a way to prove that Reginald is NOT the true Lord. Rio seems to think that he has an idea to
stall for time and it appears as though the stolen money and the fireworks will
play a part.
It's
close to midnight and a large crowd has gathered in Times Square to watch the
ball dro...oh, wait. Wrong show. Actually, the very miserable crowd has
gathered at the castle square to watch Reginald become Lord Carfax. They seem to be miserable because they know
that once Reginald becomes Lord, they'll be destitute. You can't help but feel bad for them.
But
wait! Just as Reginald is about to make
his coronation speech, the fireworks light up the sky. And these fireworks seem to hold a surprise
for the townspeople. Pound notes fall
from the sky into the pockets of the poor subjects, and Reginald and Duncan are
visibly gobsmacked!
Well, it's not rocket science to see that Rio and the others are tying satchels
of money to each of the fireworks. It's
also not very safe! None of them are
wearing safety goggles or personal protective equipment! One false move, and Shana's football hair
will go up faster than a hydrogen filled balloon!
Naturally, Robin Goodfellow takes credit for the plan, telling the people of
Carfax that the money is rightfully theirs and that his next step is to
overthrow the Lord! Cue the customary
sword fight! I'll say this...this
episode is definitely action packed!
And it seems as though Jem has found the fake wall that holds the
prisoner. And the prisoner seems very
intent on getting to the coronation as fast as possible for he has some
shocking news!
Luckily, he manages to arrive in time before Reginald has a chance to harpoon Robin
right through the heart with a pointed spear!
Such a barbarian that one!
Remember how I said the prisoner looked familiar? Turns out, he's the Lord of Carfax! The real Lord! The one
that presumably died years earlier!
Yes, Reginald is a fake! Seems
as though Duncan is Reginald's birth father, and they saw an opportunity to
take control of Carfax County. They
kidnapped the REAL heir, cast him out as an orphan, and brought in Reginald as
the heir apparent instead! How evil.
And
the identity of the real Lord incumbent?
No other than Robin Goodfellow!
Or, should I say...Robin Goodfellow Carfax! You know, all this could have been avoided with one of Maury's
paternity tests. Just saying. The good news is that father and son are
reunited and Carfax County has a shot of really being prosperous once more.
At the real coronation ceremony where Robin is expected to become the new Lord
of Carfax, he's sharing a dance with Danse, and asks her to stay. Danse is flattered, but she lets him down by
saying that she needs to stay in the United States. At least Robin and Danse share one final dance with a song that
sounds like it could have been written in San Francisco in the '60s.
There's nothing too remarkable about "Flowers in My Hair"...but I
guess it works as the prerequisite happy ending music. As far as this episode goes, some have said
that it's one of the worst episodes of the show, but I disagree. It's not the best episode. It's kind of all over the place, and the
reveal at the end was quite anticlimactic.
But overall, the storyline was fairly interesting, and I think despite
some of the inconsistencies and jarring storytelling, it was fine. It's definitely not my idea of the worst
episode.
But next week, you'll see an episode that could be a contender for worst
episode ever. This screenshot offers
just a clue of what to expect.