Search This Blog

Friday, April 14, 2017

Jem Reviewed: Episode 56 - Video Wars


In the last installment of Jem Reviewed, we learned that the Stingers are here to stay - much to the frustration of the Holograms, the Misfits, and as of right now, this recapper.  And to top it all off, we have one of the Korean animated shows that I feel is the worst produced one ever.



Find out why I say this as I recap Episode 56: Video Wars.  It's also the last great storyline that features the Misfits in a starring role, as they seriously get pushed to the background by the Stingers.  One reason why Season 3 isn't a favourite of mine.



Right away, we kick off with the "newest" Jem video...for a song that was first released in the 1985 episodes...and was just reused for a second time in Episode 54.  Seriously, was "Like a Dream" really that popular of a song?  I find it sort of bland myself.  And as far as the video goes, it's just Danse bouncing along a light stage.  The other two versions were much better produced.  Again, one of many reasons why I don't like the production of this episode.  Trying to pass off a song as new when it was in one of the first episodes of this series?  Fail.



Of course, the Misfits and Clash are not interested in minor details like that.  They are more interested in the news that Lindsey Pearce will be turning over hosting duties of her program to Jem and the Holograms next week - and at 9:00pm one week from today, the Holograms will be debuting their latest video directed by Video Montgomery - a fact I'm sure will cause Clash to feel extreme jealousy.

Sure enough, Clash is furious at all the attention and declares that she can make a better Misfits video.  Jetta sasses back that the last time she tried to make a video for them, it was a complete disaster - which is true (See "Aztec Enchantment").  This just makes Clash more determined to follow through with the project despite Pizzazz stating that Video has always bested Clash in everything.  Wow, when did Pizzazz become a Video fan?  Clash also wants to be the fifth Misfit, but Roxy tells her that they hardly need four, staring daggers at Jetta in the process.  Ah, nice to see that Roxy and Jetta still hate each other after all this time.  Despite the fact that the Misfits don't believe in her much, she has a plan to get them to take her seriously.



For now, we're in the editing suite where Video (with help from Shana and Krissie) is putting the finishing touches on the video, and we get a nice scene in which Video explains how hard her job is.  It's not just about filming and editing scenes together that make sense...it's the high expectations that record companies, video channels, and fans themselves have for her.  Each new clip has to be better than the one before.  I like Video's analogy...but let's face it.  ANY video would be better than the "Like a Dream" fiasco that opened the show.



Back at Gabor Manor, a mousy looking woman arrives to pay a visit to the Misfits.  And naturally, three of the four Misfits (Stormer refuses to play along) decide that they want to antagonize their special guest.



They steal her glasses, call her names, and basically bully the poor woman.  But looks can be very deceiving and eventually the guest rips off her face to reveal one covered in bright make-up.  Clash, the master of disguise herself shows off her latest disguise which admittedly has the Misfits impressed.  But what does she plan on doing with it?



Well, nobody at Starlight House seems to recognize Clash as she pays them a visit.  Clash assumes the identity of film student Sara Murgamont, and "Sara" initially comes off as a bit shy and meek.  But after Ashley of all people tells "Sara" to let her feelings out and tell them what is bothering her, "Sara" weaves an incredibly fabricated tale.  "Sara" is in danger of losing her film scholarship and she needs to get an A on her next project in order to stay in school.  Her idea is to follow the Holograms on tour for one week and film a documentary about them, which she hopes will earn her a high enough grade to keep the scholarship.

Not all the Holograms are on board with this plan.  Aja seems to think that the rough schedule they keep will be too much for "Sara", and Jerrica seems to initially agree with Aja.  But Raya has been listening in the background and seems to want to go to bat for "Sara".  She leaves the room to talk to Jerrica in private.  I can see where this is going.  The Holograms gave Raya a chance way back when and this is her chance to pay it forward.



Sure enough, Raya's words to Jerrica work like a charm, and she tells "Sara" to meet them at Starlight Mansion the next morning at 5:00 to get started.  "Sara" is overjoyed at the news and Raya thanks Jerrica for hearing her out.



However, not everyone is thrilled by this development.  Aja is downright pissed at Jerrica for even entertaining the idea of bringing "Sara" along.  For one, she is paranoid that "Sara" could film Jerrica changing into Jem.  Admittedly, that's a genuine concern.  And Aja seems to have the feeling that something doesn't seem right about "Sara".  But Jerrica has had enough of Aja's negativity and calls her stubborn and unreasonable which leads to Aja kicking Jerrica's ass.  Okay, so she doesn't do that.  But there's definite tension between Aja and Jerrica, and I'm sure that "Sara" will film every moment of it.



Back at Gabor Mansion as Clash again, Clash tells the Misfits that now that she has an in with the Holograms, she'll use the time spent with them to film instances in which the Holograms are at their worst.  Then once the tape is complete, she'll switch it with Video's tape.  Then when the Holograms host their show, they'll play the blooper tape and look completely humiliated.  I don't know...sounds like a lot of trouble for a lame plan.  However, it doesn't take much for the Misfits to get amused, and they give Clash their full support.  Pizzazz even goes as far as promising that if Clash succeeds, they will make her a fifth Misfit.  That's enough incentive for Clash to keep the charade going.



At 4:59am the following morning, "Sara" is there bright and early to film Kimber, Shana, Jerrica, Raya, Aja, and Rio boarding the bus to their next concert, and "Sara" is extremely excited to be there.  Raya tells "Sara" that they are glad to have her around as well which makes me love Raya even more.  But when "Sara" asks where Jem is, and Aja snarkily comments that Jem should be there, Jerrica is forced to summon a Hologram of Jem leaving Starlight House.  Nice save, Jerrica...and "Sara" is impressed that Jem could look that radiant at five in the morning.  Well, when you have a holographic computer at your disposal, you could make anybody look like Chris Hemsworth or Mila Kunis.



Fortunately, "Sara" is not wise to the hologram of Jem sleeping in the backseat.  With Jerrica in control of the hologram, she can have Synergy make Jem sleep in the back of the van until next Friday if she so desires.  But Aja just seems to want to take the opportunity to razz Jerrica some more, and I gotta say, this is a really bad side to see of her.  It may impact my ranking of her when I do my final season recap.  Even Kimber and Shana tell Aja and Jerrica to knock the fighting off because they don't want "Sara" to film them.  Raya can just shrug her shoulders and say that it's just one of those days.



Ah, a segway into the Jem and the Holograms song "One Of Those Days".  The song itself is not the best - I was kind of hoping that the Misfits would actually sing in this episode.  But what is even more ridiculous is the fact that this video seems to insinuate that Jem and the Holograms are the klutziest, dizziest women to ever take to a rock stage.  I mean, some of the images in this video can legitimately happen, like Shana breaking a guitar string, or the bus getting a flat tire.  But having Kimber smash a keyboard?  Raya punching a fist through her drum?  Two amplifiers getting smashed in a truck accident?  I mean, come on!  Not even Jinx Malloy in Archie comics is that accident prone!



After the montage of Dick Clark's Bloopers and Practical Jokes, we arrive at the next concert venue.  It will serve as a rock arena later on, but right now it's a circus venue complete with lions, and tigers, and bears.  Oh my!



"Sara" compliments Jerrica on how great she looks, and "Sara" actually says something that shocks even me.  She remarks about how the Holograms really seem to have each others backs, and how great she feels to be a part of it.  I mean, we all know that Clash is wearing her "Sara" mask...but a part of me wonders if maybe all the time she spent with the Holograms and how genuinely nice they are as people is starting to make her realize that they aren't the bad people the Misfits portrayed them to be.  Raya adds to the conversation by sharing what it means to be part of a group of friends, and how the Holograms made her feel like she was a part of something special.



But before Raya can finish her statement, a crisis unfolds.  The lion who is named Simba (wow, a full six years before "The Lion King" debuted) goes postal and escapes from the men loading him onto the transport truck.  The lion makes a beeline towards Raya, but "Sara" pushes her out of the way to safety!  



But Simba isn't finished yet, as he has his sights set on Jerrica for his next meal.  Luckily, Aja manages to get in front of Simba and distracts him long enough for the trainers to regain control and drag him away.  See, this is one reason why I am against circuses that use animals.  Simba probably just wanted to escape and be free.  Not held in captive.  No wonder he's so cranky in this episode.



With Simba now away from the group, Jerrica and Aja apologize to each other for being bitches to each other and they hug each other the way that sisters do.  Awwww.



Even more impressive is the fact that any ill feelings that Aja had towards "Sara" have been wiped clean now that "Sara" saved Raya from getting gobbled up by Simba.  Double awwww!  Of course, this puts Clash in an extremely difficult position.

When she catches up with the Misfits after the concert is over and shows them the Holograms' mishap tape, all four Misfits are thrilled with Clash's good work and are literally salivating at the mouth at the chance to humiliate Jem and the Holograms.



So it's really interesting that Clash suddenly has a change of heart and decides that she doesn't want to go through with the plan!  Clash makes a compromise and tells Pizzazz that she can have the tape to watch anytime she wants in her own home, but Pizzazz won't have any of it.  Once again, Pizzazz plays on Clash's insecurities and tells her that if she doesn't go through with the plan, she'll always have the knowledge that Video will be BETTER than her, and that she will NEVER be the fifth Misfit.  They bully Clash enough that she does another about face and goes ahead with the plan.

Wow, you know...I'm starting to really understand why Clash acts the way she does...and why I sort of feel sorry for her.  But we'll get to that at the end of this recap.



For now, it's time for Clash to put on another disguise - this time, dressed as Video Montgomery!  It's very confusing to see "Video" stealing a video from Video but it's effective.

It's so effective that when "Video" arrives at the studio to drop off the video to some man named Glenn, Glenn actually hangs up on the real Video who is trying to get through to him!  I wonder how many times I can say the word video in this damn blog entry?  One thing is for sure, Clash can not only look the part, but sound the part as well.  I wonder if she's related to Rich Little?



We also learn that the name of the video is "The Last Laugh".  Sounds ominous.  But wait...what's stopping Jem from getting to the studio in time, finding out the tape has been switched, and stopping the plan from going forward?



Well, I suppose giving Jem a ton of alcohol might do it.  Look at how badly she's driving on the road!  But Jem insists that she isn't the one controlling the car!



That's because the Misfits have recruited Techrat to install a device on the Rockin' Roadster that allows Techrat to control the car instead.  Stormer worries that it isn't safe, but Techrat insists that he won't harm them.  He just plans on having the Holograms drive so far out of town that by the time they reach the television studios, they will have missed the 9:00pm deadline.  I guess it's good that the Misfits don't want to kill the Holograms, but still...this plan is dangerous.  If they get into an accident, they'll be accessories to the crime!  They don't really think these plans through, do they?



While Jem and the Holograms are hoping that they don't drive off a cliff, back at Video's studio, Video is forced to work twice as hard to get another video edited by the time the show starts.  She gets help from Ashley, Ba Nee, Becky, and Krissie, but time is running out.  Video knows that Clash and the Misfits are responsible for taking her original clip, and she wants to find a way to make them pay.  Krissie seems to have a way to do this, and Video's like...what the hell, I'm screwed anyway, let's see what the twelve-year-old thinks!



Back on the road - and in one of the most contrived scenes featured in this cartoon - the Holograms spot a traffic chopper in the sky and Jem uses Synergy to send up an S.O.S. via pink lightning to get the traffic reporter's attention.  Surprisingly it works, and Jem and the other Holograms re-enact a scene from a 1980s action movie to escape the out of control Rockin' Roadster.  Of course, it may take some time for them to get their car back once Techrat finally parks it, but hey, with all five of them in the chopper, they should get to the television studio in plenty of time.



Already at the studio though is Clash, and when the Misfits arrive not long after she does, Clash is insistent that they make her the fifth Misfit right now, and asks if they brought her Misfits costume with them.  Pizzazz tells Clash to cool her jets.  Once the broadcast is finished, then they'll talk about it.  I get the feeling the Misfits are still sore from the Aztec Enchantment fiasco.  Let's see what happens.



Well, just before the clock strikes nine, the Holograms make it to the studio and immediately confront the Misfits about their joyride from hell.  The Misfits deny doing such a thing, but Jem doesn't believe them.  After what seems like a few minutes of squabbling but is actually something like six seconds, Raya remembers that they have to be on camera now, so the Holograms rush on stage to take over Lindsey's show.

Jetta seems concerned that their plan is kaput, but Pizzazz is still confident.  After all, the Holograms have no idea that Clash switched the tapes and when they introduce the blooper reel, they will never show their face in public again!



It's just too bad that Clash and the Misfits don't know that Video and the Starlight Girls have come up with a new video to replace the one that was stolen, and that Clash can only watch in horror as Video throws away the blooper reel and puts in her own revised version.  It makes me wonder exactly what is on that tape.



Well, it's definitely the song "The Last Laugh", which to me sounds more like a Misfits song than a Holograms song.  But the song itself is the best of the three.  Unfortunately, the show decides to do a copout by inserting past clips from previous episodes into this video.  So, we get a clip show in place of a music video?  This is why people think Video is a video savant?  Seems like lazy editing to me!  It is cool to see clips from past episodes like "The Music Awards", "Aztec Enchantment", "Last Resorts", and "Hot Time in Hawaii".  Interesting note:  Clash appears in many of these episodes!  And Jetta is hardly featured in this video at all, since most of these clips come from Season 1.  But after the video airs, the Misfits are the ones who are looking like they've been sucker punched.



One by one, each of the Misfits tell Clash off, thus ending any chance for her to become the fifth Misfit.  The only one who doesn't really take any pot shots is Stormer, who lightly taps her on the arm and looks at her with sadness.  It's like she's saying "what you did was wrong, but I still kind of respect you as a person even though the other Misfits will kill me".

Pizzazz goes one step further and refers to Clash as "Sara", which causes Jem and the Holograms to realize that "Sara" was Clash all along.  Video is deeply hurt that Clash would stoop to such levels to get back at her, while Jem and the Holograms feel betrayed.  Jem perhaps says it best when she tells Clash that when she was Sara, she actually felt as though she belonged, and maybe that's all that she wanted.  It's very insightful, and gives hope that Jem could actually forgive Clash for this.



Unfortunately, Clash tells Jem off, and runs away to go back to the Misfits, prompting Video to stand beside Jem and thank her for trying.  Unfortunately as Clash's cousin, Video knows her all too well, and says that she's one of those people who have to learn everything the hard way.

And as we watch the final scene with a desperate Clash begging the Misfits for one more chance, the show ends on a rather melancholic note.  And in this piece of
Jem Trivia, this is really the last time you see Clash in a speaking role.  So, in a way, it's sort of left unresolved as to what happens.



You know, the bad production of the episode aside, I said before that I feel really bad for Clash.  The reason why is because I know how it feels to be her.  I can think of several instances in which I wanted to be a part of the "cool crowd", so I did everything I could be to a part of it - only for them to reject me and hurt me more than I could have ever realized.  The difference is that once I was shown their true colours, I washed my hands of them and went to find others to be around.  In Clash's case, she would rather belong to a group that continues to harass and bully her instead of finding her own path in life.  Clash is co-dependent and almost suffers from Stockholm Syndrome as a result of it, and rather than hate her, I feel pity for her.

Imagine, me...feeling pity for a cartoon character.  That's funny.




Tune in next week where we'll review Beauty and the Beast - Jem style.  In the meantime, may you and yours have a very happy and safe Easter weekend!

Thursday, April 13, 2017

April 13, 1985

This week on the Thursday Throwback entry, we're going to be celebrating a song that certainly had a lot of people singing along with it.  And it's a song that we could all stand to hear given all that is going on with the world right now.

Before we get to that subject, we're having a look back on April 13th with some other historical events.

1111 - Henry V is crowned Holy Roman Emperor

1742 - George Frideric Handel's "Messiah" makes its world premiere debut in Dublin, Ireland

1743 - Thomas Jefferson, third President of the United States of America (d. 1826) is born in Shadwell, Virginia, British America

1777 - During the American Revolutionary War, American troops are defeated in the Battle of Bound Brook, New Jersey

1861 - Fort Sumter surrenders to Confederate forces during the American Civil War

1870 - The New York Metropolitan Museum of Art is founded

1873 - The Colfax Massacre takes place

1902 - The first JC Penney department store opens for business

1919 - Actor/singer Howard Keel (d. 2004) is born in Gillespie, Illinois

1923 - Actor Don Adams (d. 2005) is born in New York, New York

1943 - The Jefferson Memorial is dedicated in Washington D.C.

1945 - Vienna, Austria is captured by Bulgarian and Soviet forces during World War II

1948 - The Hadassah Medical Convoy Massacre takes place, leaving 79 dead

1964 - Sidney Poitier becomes the first African-American actor to win an Academy Award for "Lilies of the Field"

1970 - An oxygen tank aboard Apollo 13 explodes, causing a dangerous situation for the crew aboard

1972 - The Battle of An Loc begins during the Vietnam War

1976 - Actor Jonathan Brandis (d. 2003) is born in Danbury, Connecticut

1991 - Londonbeat's "I've Been Thinking About You" reaches the #1 spot on the Billboard Charts

1992 - Flooding in Chicago cause the Chicago Mercantile Exchange and the Chicago Board of Trading building to close

1997 - Tiger Woods wins the Masters Tournament, becoming the youngest golfer to do so

Now, for celebrity birthdays.  These people are turning one year older today; Dan Gurney, Edward Fox, Paul Sorvino, Lester Chambers, Billy Kidd, Charles Burnett, Jack Casady, Tony Dow, Judy Nunn, Al Green, Mike Chapman, Ron Perlman, Peabo Bryson, Peter Davison, Max Weinberg, Jimmy Destri, Saundra Santiago, Caroline Rhea, Marc Ford, Ricky Schroder, Jasey-Jay Anderson, Lou Bega, Nick Garrett, Tony Lunden, Colleen Clinkenbeard, Nellie McKay, Hunter Pence, Anna Jennings-Edquist, Brandon Hardesty, and Allison Williams.

So now that we have the birthday wishes and special events taken care of, it's time to see what date we will be visiting this week.



Ah, April 13, 1985.  That's a date that I was definitely around for.  Whether I remember it - well, that's debatable.

But one thing that was certain - it was a day in which history was made on the American Billboard Charts.  It was a song that would go on to sell twenty million copies (one of only a handful to sell that many).  It won a People's Choice Award, an American Music Award, and three Grammy Awards.  And considering that the song was used as a promotional single to raise awareness for famine, it managed to raise and donate over $63 million for humanitarian aid to nations that needed it the most.

It also remains the only time in pop music history in which forty-five different artists had a #1 hit on the charts.  At the same time!

Can you guess which song I'm talking about?  Here it is in all its glory.  The #1 song on the charts thirty-two years ago.



ARTIST:  USA for Africa
SONG:  We Are The World
ALBUM:  We Are The World Single
DATE RELEASED:  March 7, 1985
PEAK POSITION ON THE BILLBOARD CHARTS:  #1 for 4 weeks

One could say that 1985 was the year for charity fundraising through music.  In addition to this single, Canada released "Tears Are Not Enough", and the live simulcast concert "Live-Aid" in the summer of 1985 was one of the largest concert events in history.  But the story of how USA for Africa came about began with another worldwide charity single that was released in time for the 1984 holiday season.



It was from the success of "Do They Know It's Christmas" by Band-Aid that prompted the United States to do their part in raising awareness and funds to combat famine in Africa.  It was Harry Belafonte and fundraiser Ken Kragen who got the project rolling, and they used Belafonte's connections with the music world to hunt for musicians that would sit down and write the song.

Michael Jackson and Lionel Richie took on the task of the song, and the finished draft of the lyrics and sheet music were completed just seven weeks after the release of "Do They Know It's Christmas".

The song was complete on January 20, 1985.  On January 21, the first recording session was held.  This just goes to show you just how efficient the process was.



And just what artists participated in the historic event?  Here is the official list including soloists, choir members, and the conductor:

Dan Aykroyd, Harry Belafonte, Lindsey Buckingham, Kim Carnes, Ray Charles, Mario Cipollina, Johnny Colla, Bob Dylan, Sheila E., Bob Geldof, Bill Gibson, Daryl Hall, Chris Hayes, Sean Hopper, James Ingram, Jackie Jackson, LaToya Jackson, Marlon Jackson, Michael Jackson, Randy Jackson, Tito Jackson, Al Jarreau, Waylon Jennings, Billy Joel, Quincy Jones, Cyndi Lauper, Huey Lewis, Kenny Loggins, Bette Midler, Willie Nelson, John Oates, Jeffrey Osborne, Steve Perry, Anita Pointer, June Pointer, Ruth Pointer, Lionel Richie, Smokey Robinson, Kenny Rogers, Diana Ross, Paul Simon, Bruce Springsteen, Tina Turner, Dionne Warwick, and Stevie Wonder.  Oh, to have been a fly on the wall of that recording session.  That would have been every music fan's dream!



Upon the single's release in record stores in March 1985, many retailers expected the song to be a hit.  But they didn't know how much of a hit it would be until they consistently ran out of stock the first few days the song became available for purchase.  The initial shipment of 800,000 copies at record stores all over America sold out after just THREE DAYS.  Some record stores were reporting sales of 1,000 copies sold over a 48-hour period - six times the amount that a standard #1 hit single would have sold.  It was the first single to reach sales of multi-platinum, and it stayed on the charts for four weeks.  It was eventually dethroned by an artist who was NOT involved with the single - Madonna's "Crazy for You" hit #1 the week of May 11, 1985, and only stayed on the top of the charts for one week.

Ultimately though, the sales from the single did go towards hunger relief in Africa.  As mentioned above, it raised $63 million for the cause, of which 90% went to Africa, while the remaining ten per cent was used to establish programs within the United States to eradicate hunger caused by poverty and other factors.

I'll call that a success!

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Childhood Medicines Worse Than The Symptoms

As of April 11, 2017, I am pleased to report that I have managed to make it through the first three and a half months of 2017 without having any sort of illness whatsoever!  Of course, I now realize that I have jinxed myself and I'm probably going to now catch the flu, a bad cold, and possibly even a case of the mumps.  But, hey, I'm okay with tempting fate once in a while.



Of course, taking a sick day as an adult can be a pain in the butt.  I can't really afford to miss any work due to illness, so more often than not I suck it up to get through the day.  Or, in the case of last summer, the whole season.  That was the summer that I sounded like a chain smoker with permanent laryngitis.  Good times.

Now, as a kid, I have to admit - I LOVED taking sick days.  In fact - and you know what, it's been seventeen years since I was in school, so I can openly admit to this.  I have purposely taken sick days when I wasn't even sick to avoid going to school.  Not because I didn't like learning.  It was more like I didn't like my classmates.  Believe me, it wasn't that hard to convince my mom that I was sick when I really wasn't.  Truth be told, I think she caught on but let me do it anyway, knowing that I could easily catch up in my studies.

I didn't like it as much when I really was sick though.  I mean, yes, it was fun to watch television on the couch and to draw pictures with my Crayola crayons.  But not so much fun when you're coughing up a lung or throwing up every hour on the hour.



I think the hardest part about being sick as a child was not so much the symptoms of being sick, but the medicines that I had to take in order to make the symptoms go away.  Sometimes, the remedy is worse than the sickness.  Mary Poppins could pour an entire sack of sugar on the medicine and it still wouldn't go down in the most delightful way.

So, I suppose that's what this blog topic is about today.  Childhood medicines that were horrible.

Now, just to keep this post on the lighthearted side, I'm going to only use examples of actual medicine that can be taken via the mouth.  And I won't be talking about life-saving medicines that people would take to cure serious illnesses either.  As nasty as some of those treatments can be, they are completely necessary.

But let's face it.  Some of the medicine that I remember taking as a kid was awful.  Simply awful.



For one, when I was a kid, I couldn't swallow pills.  As an adult, I find it much easier and can down a couple of Advil when a migraine strikes without any difficulty.  But whenever I had to take a Gravol for car sickness, or if I was prescribed medicine in pill form, I had a very difficult time swallowing it.  It got so bad that my mom had to put the pill inside a container of Laura Secord butterscotch pudding and mix it in to make sure that I swallowed it. 

Side note:  I miss Laura Secord butterscotch pudding.  Bring it back.  Now.

As tough as it was to take medicine in pill form, I found it even more harder to take medicine in liquid form.  And unlike pills, you can't mix liquid medicine with butterscotch pudding.  Trust me.  I tried it once.  Should have renamed it BITTERscotch.



I think one of my earliest memories of dealing with medicine that I didn't like was when I was in the first grade.  I recall being really sick with some sort of sinus infection that just wouldn't go away, and my doctor at the time prescribed a medicine called Keflex to alleviate the symptoms and to make the infection go away. 

At least, that was the intent of it.

It was bad enough that the Keflex was in liquid form.  It was worse when I realized that the medicine was strawberry flavoured.  It's bad enough that I'm allergic to strawberries (though I didn't know it at the time).  But the strawberry flavour of the medicine was so fake and so potent that it caused me to have a side effect after taking the medicine.

It caused me to throw up on cue.

No matter what my mom tried, I would not be able to take that strawberry flavoured goop.  No way, no how.  I actually remember hiding in the closet whenever it was time to take the stuff because it was one of those rare medicines that made me sicker than I was.  Finally after about three days of this, I was back at the doctor.  He prescribed me some penicillin that had tasted like banana which went down so much easier.  Fake strawberry flavour was nasty.  Fake banana wasn't much better, but at least it was better tasting.

And I think most of us know the joys of taking cough syrup.  It's entirely nasty.  From Buckley's to Robitussin to Dimetapp and everything in between, I can't recall sipping a tablespoon of cough syrup and thinking that it was the best thing I had ever tasted.



For me, the worst was when I had a really bad cough and I had to take Triaminic cough syrup.  Can I just state that it was the most disgusting stuff that I have ever tasted?  Well, at least the red stuff was anyway.  That was all that my mom bought and it was as if someone had taken Cherry Kool-Aid and dumped alcohol, Vicks Vaporub, and vinegar inside of it.  That's probably the best way that I could describe it.  The reason my mom would buy the red stuff was because it was formulated for coughs.  And since I was a childhood asthmatic, my cough tended to stick around a lot longer than any other symptom.

It was only when I had a fever and a runny nose that Mom bought the orange stuff...which I liked the taste of much better.  I was like...why didn't you just get this stuff before?

So, I suppose the moral of the story when it comes to childhood medicines is this.  Butterscotch pudding was the best for swallowing pills.  Strawberry flavouring should never be used for flavouring medicine.  And stay away from red cough syrup.

Friday, April 07, 2017

Jem Reviewed: Episode 55 - The Stingers Hit Town, Part 2

Season 3 of Jem Reviewed kicked off last week where a new band called The Stingers arrived.  They've already caused a lot of trouble with their manipulative mind games and so far Eric Raymond, Pizzazz, Kimber, and Jem have found themselves caught up in their twisted web - all because two record companies want to sign them.



How will it all end?  Let's watch Episode 55 - The Stingers Hit Town, Part 2 to find out!



We left off at a gigantic harp statue somewhere outside of Los Angeles where Riot just planted a kiss on Jem.  But Jem pulls away, saying that she doesn't feel right about it.  You know, you didn't see it as a problem when Rio fell in love with both you and Jerrica.  Just saying, Jem.  Riot is not willing to give up though.  In his eyes, he's the perfect man, and Jem's the perfect woman, and they'll have a perfect marriage and have perfect pink-haired children.  Nice to see Riot's gotten more humble since last episode.

Of course, Jem is determined to get Riot to sign the contract which will make the Stingers a part of Starlight Music, and she still is determined to do so...but Jem also finds it difficult to resist Riot's charms.  Uh oh. 



Meanwhile, Riot's band mate Minx has decided that she wants to steal Rio away from Jem.  Her plan was to take Rio club hopping under the premise that she believes that Riot took Jem there.  But after six different clubs, Rio is not impressed and tells Minx to beat it.  Minx does not stand for the rejection and angrily tells Rio off as he drives away. 



Back at Gabor Manor, Pizzazz is losing her mind over being away from Riot and Rapture is telling her that she has a plan to get Riot to fall for her and only her.  This sets off the usually serene Stormer who flat out tells Pizzazz to wake up and that Rapture is just using her.  Unfortunately, Stormer seems to forget that Pizzazz is much stronger than her, and Pizzazz violently shoves Stormer away.  Fortunately, Jetta and Roxy break Stormer's fall, but Pizzazz is clearly under the Stingers' spell.



I mean, look at what she is wearing!  She looks like a Chatty Cathy doll possessed by Chucky from "Child's Play"!  But according to Pizzazz's new best friend Rapture, Pizzazz is dressed perfectly to capture Riot's attention as he's always been drawn to pure and innocent types.  Either Riot has a really weird fetish going on, or Rapture is making a fool out of Pizzazz.  I'm going with the latter.



As if Rapture's cruel game isn't bad enough, she amps up the intensity by forcing Pizzazz to drink a special concoction that is guaranteed to make Riot fall in love with her.  A concoction that includes ingredients such as raw eggs, carrots, milk, ketchup, and other things that should never go into a smoothie.  Needless to say, this ain't Love Potion No. 9!



I'm sure that the green in Pizzazz's face may match her hair shade quite nicely...but it's enough for Pizzazz to run to the bathroom to throw up while Rapture can just laugh at her in the background.  But three other people who are watching the whole thing unfold are the rest of the Misfits, and judging by their reactions, they are really disgusted by Rapture.  They are also incredibly worried about Pizzazz (something that stuns even myself, as they aren't exactly known for being that close), and they think she's developed a case of love sickness.



And speaking of sick...how sick is "Lovesick"?  It's the first new song of the Misfits this season, and it is spectacular.  I think that this song definitely has one of the best music videos, and it is a contender for best song of season three.  So good!



Roxy, Jetta, and Stormer decide that there's nothing they can do for Pizzazz tonight, so they end up leaving the mansion - only to get shoved to the side by an angry Minx who calls the three stupid Americans.  Well, at least she's 66.7% right.  Man, for someone who hates Americans, she's in the wrong country!  Of course, Minx's mood changes when she sees Rapture manipulating Pizzazz into doing a cross between the Hokey Pokey and the Macarena - all to win Riot's heart, of course.  Then Minx decides she wants to be part of the fun.  I never thought I'd say this, but I almost feel sorry for Pizzazz here.



Riot enters the room not long after this, and playing along with Rapture and Minx acts as if he is head over heels in love with Pizzazz, which satisfies her enough to retire for the evening.  But after Pizzazz leaves, Riot announces that there will be a change of plans.  I wonder what that means?

Back at Starlight Mansion, it appears as though Jem still hasn't returned home and Aja, Kimber, Shana, Raya, and Rio are still up waiting for her to return.  It certainly is out of character for Jem to stay out all night.  I mean, that sounds like something that Kimber would do.



Jem finally saunters through the door with a chirpy sing song voice talking about how beautiful a night it is.  Oh, brother.  Certainly Rio is not amused, and he reverts back to his caveman persona where he basically scolds Jem for being a free thinker.  I mean, yeah, I get that he's jealous of Riot (though I can't imagine why he would be), but at the same time he's really doing everything possible to turn Jem off.  And certainly Jem decides that Rio is not worth talking to when he gets that way.  Jem explains that all they talked about was Jerrica's offer.  She conveniently leaves out the fact that they kissed, but hey, that's another tale for another day.  Besides, I get the feeling that Jem doesn't want Rio to smash any of her plants.



The doorbell rings, and everyone is wondering who it could be at this time of the day.  Surprise, surprise, it's the Stingers.  They snuck out of Gabor Manor and have decided to take up Jerrica on her offer to stay at Starlight Mansion.  In the middle of the night.  All right then.



Of course, Jem is more than willing to honour the deal, but Rio gets pissy about it and says some rather snarky things to Jem.  Which then causes Minx to latch onto Rio and tell Jem all about their club hopping night on the town which causes Jem to become just as snarky as Rio.  Essentially, everyone in this house is f@#$ing nuts.



Speaking of people who are completely off their rockers, it appears as though Pizzazz's behaviour is enough of a concern for the Misfits to alert Eric.  Sure enough, when Pizzazz showers Eric with compliments drizzled with chocolate sauce, maple syrup, and powdered sugar, he wants to know what is going on.  Pizzazz is going on about how Riot wants her and how the Stingers are going to sign with Eric's company and how they will all live happily ever after and...

...when Pizzazz finds out the Stingers moved out without even so much as saying goodbye, she is quite crestfallen.  Eric isn't very impressed either, but he has a plan to get Riot, Rapture, and Minx to sign with his company.  Of course, he'll need the help of the Misfits and Pizzazz is ready and able to do whatever the Stingers - well, okay, whatever RIOT wants.



But wait!  Roxy speaks up and says that she, Stormer, and Jetta are NOT going to take part in the plan.  Furthermore, they hate seeing what Riot is doing to Pizzazz and make one final ultimatum.  Either she tells Riot and the Stingers to stuff it, or the Misfits will break up.  You know, this is probably the first time I've ever seen the Misfits pull together to try and shake some sense into one of their own.  It's...really quite cool to see.  It's just a shame that Pizzazz decides that pursuing a relationship with Riot is more important than the very band she helped form to get the attention she so desperately craved in the first place.  And just like that, the Misfits are history.  Wow.



The next morning at Starlight Mansion, the Stingers have had a really rough night with them constantly getting woken up by drug induced raves and wild parties.  No, actually, the twelve Starlight girls were the ones responsible.  As half of them crowd around the Stingers to get autographs, Jerrica explains that the girls are her foster children and despite the fact that she and the Holograms tend to neglect them at lot, they are a part of her forever.  Even if she only bothers to introduce Ba Nee, Krissie, and Ashley.  Because we all know that they are the chosen ones.  But just how will the Stingers respond?

Not well.



The first sign of trouble occurs when Ashley accidentally spills a tray of food all over Riot!  Ashley was only trying to help by getting him a snack, but all Riot can do is yell at her for destroying his jacket.  As Ashley storms off in a huff, Aja sees the whole thing unfold and is very angry.  Aja insists that the jacket can be cleaned, but Riot goes on a tangent about how everything he wears including his clothing must be absolutely perfect.  Aja gives him a perfect eye roll as she walks away.  If there weren't any witnesses around, I have a feeling Aja would scalp him with a machete.



Krissie is the next Starlight Girl to get stung.  After she finishes painting a picture, Minx goes all Simon Cowell on her telling her that she is a horrible artist - but then all American artists are.  Krissie runs away crying and this time it is Raya who is prepared to go all Chuck Norris on her.  Minx dismisses Raya, calling her an untalented American.  Uh, Raya's Mexican, Minx.  Perhaps you need an atlas.  And considering that Minx is all anti-American, it's quite ironic to realize that she's voiced by an American.  In this edition of Jem Trivia, I'll share this.  Minx is voiced by Kath Soucie, who has done hundreds of voice roles over the last thirty years.  Perhaps two of her most famous roles are that of Phil and Lil on the cartoon "Rugrats".



Don't think that Rapture is innocent either.  She targets Terri with an evil curse that obviously doesn't exist - but the resident scaredy-cat of Starlight Mansion is so frightened that she practically leaps into Shana's arms.  So, that makes three Holograms now that are pissed off at the Stingers.  Should we try to antagonize Kimber next?



It appears as though we don't get a chance to as Aja, Raya, and Shana decide to confront the Stingers about their appaling behaviour.  But in true Riot fashion, he defends himself and his band with a song.



Again, the Stingers are proving to have about as much personality as a Venus Flytrap, but they also have some awesome music.  "Take It Or Leave It" is about as antagonistic as you can get for a song, but the style in which they perform it in...incomparable.  Like them or loathe them, they do have musical chops.  I can ALMOST see why they are irresistible.  Well, on the music charts anyway.

By this point, the Holograms have had enough of Riot.  As Jerrica, she agrees with them that the Stingers are more trouble than they are worth.  But Jerrica insists on getting them to sign with Starlight Music as their band can potentially double the earning power of the record company meaning more money for the Starlight Girls.



Riot looks over Jerrica's offer, and he admits that the proposition that Jerrica has drawn up is a fair offer.  But he is still unsure of what to do.  Jerrica tries to tell Riot that Eric will promise them the world and he would still find a way to screw them, but Riot isn't very interested.  He starts to make a comment about how he might take the deal if Jem offered it to him but before he can get the words out, there is a loud commotion going on outside of Starlight Mansion.



When the Stingers and the Holograms run outside, there is a huge parade of people (and elephants) entering the front yard carrying loads of Stingers' banners and playing the Stingers' theme song.  And who should happen to be in the front of the pack than Eric and Pizzazz!  It's impressive, I'll grant you that one...though I get the feeling that Kimber is wondering who is going to clean up the mess should the elephants feel the need to go to the bathroom.



It appears as though Eric has thought things through and has offered up an amendment to his previous deal.  Eric has decided that the best way to get the Stingers on his side is to give them what they want.  And Eric's method is to give them half of the record company that he just bought - half of the company that he SOLD HIS HOUSE TO BUY.  On one hand, I think that Eric is playing unfairly to try and become the big winner.  But on the other hand, given how slimy and horrible he is, I would call this instant karma.



Jerrica immediately blasts Eric Raymond on his tactics, but Riot turns towards Jerrica and says that he would rather sign with Starlight Music...on the condition that Jerrica matches Eric's offer and sign over half of Starlight Music to the Stingers.  Kimber tells Jerrica that she can't possibly take the deal, while Raya tells Jerrica that it is her decision and trusts her to make the right one.  Jerrica tells Riot that she can't possibly make a deal like that, and with that the Stingers officially decide to go with Eric.  Jerrica is bummed about it, but given how the Stingers are, I would say she dodged a bullet.

Rio is pleased as punch to hear that the Stingers are not going to be a part of Starlight Music, and he hopes this means that Riot will stay away from Jerrica and Jem.  But when Jerrica gets a call from Riot asking Jem to meet him at their special place, Jerrica is unable to say no, which makes Rio develop his "I have to kick a plant" face.  I only wish I had a screenshot of this, but I guess my iPad failed to capture one.



At the gigantic harp, Jem meets up with Riot where Jem tries to convince Riot not to sign with Eric and that Eric is nothing but trouble.  To Jem's surprise, Riot agrees with Jem that Eric is a jerk, but Riot also admits that he can control Eric and make him do whatever he says.  He seems to be doing a great job of it so far - which almost makes me like Riot out of principle.  Almost.  But Riot would change allegiances if Jem would be his.



Of course, Rio decides to intrude on the couple, and at first I'm thinking that one of the men's dead corpses will be tangled up inside of the harp.  But to everyone's shock, Rio decides to call it quits with Jem once and for all and decides that Riot can have her.  I get the impression that Rio thinks that he can just shack up with Jerrica, but we all know that it would never work that way.



Jem, shocked at Rio's attitude immediately starts wailing and she wants to run after him to tell him not to go.  Riot pulls Jem back and plants a huge smooch on her lips.  But this around, Jem is not willing to surrender to the Stinger, and plants a stinging smack across Riot's cheek.  Is it just me, or has the cartoon violence escalated since season one?



The next scene sees Rio standing outside of a tree which is positioned in front of a burned out shell of a house.  The sign he is looking at says Starlight Treehouse.  Wait a minute.  Rio's at the site of the original Starlight House?  The one that burned down in the very first episode?  And they still haven't cleared the ruins away after three years?  That's...very unusual!  But, given how important the Starlight Treehouse was to the formation of the Holograms' friendship, I can see why Rio has sentimental value towards this tree.  Either that, or he's wishing he had a chainsaw so he could knock it down.



As it so happens, the treehouse becomes the place where Jem finds Rio and immediately runs into his arms.  She apologizes for being selfish (which time?) and she also realizes how selfish Riot is.  She wants to be with Rio and Rio takes her back...and we're right back to Rio dating both Jem and Jerrica.  It's like NOTHING EVER HAPPENED.  For the record, I hate both of these clowns.



And so Misfits Music is no more.  With the Stingers owning half of Eric's record company, the name has been changed to Stingers' Sound.  Admittedly, I find the name catchier than Misfits Music, but it really sucks that Misfits have been downgraded to secondary supporting characters rather than main antagonists.  Though I'm kind of distracted by the fact that Riot looks like Vanna White...



Of course, Eric is really completely unaware that Riot is the real control behind the music company - and maybe that's just desserts for how he has treated Jem and the Holograms as well as the Misfits.  Pizzazz is looking equally pathetic as she swoons over a man who only has eyes for Jem.  I see nothing's really changed since the days when the Holograms were making the Starbright movie.  But when Riot tells Pizzazz that he wants the Misfits to cut another album, this sends Pizzazz into panic mode.  After all, she was the one who walked away from the band.  Surely they wouldn't want her back after the way she treated them, would they?



Of course they want her back!  Stormer and Jetta admit that the Misfits would be nothing without her, and even hard as nails Roxy admits that they really want Pizzazz back.  Mind you, Pizzazz neglects to tell her bandmates that Riot was the one who suggested the Misfits reunite, but whatever the case, the Misfits are back and ready to rock.



Jem and Rio come back reunited and Aja is happy that they've patched things up.  Okay, so Aja isn't required to have a brain 100% of the time.  Whatever the case, it's time for a final song...and this time, all THREE bands sing together.  What is this?  The "We Are The World" song?



No, it's a song called "Now".  It perfectly illustrates the main goals of all three bands.  For Jem and the Holograms, it symbolizes the goal of remaining relevant in the music business - and for Jem, it also means improving her relationship with Rio.  You might want to start by telling him that you're really JERRICA.  Just saying.

For the Stingers, it's all about making their American debut and making their names memorable.  It's about taking power away from people who don't know how to handle it and showing them how to use it.  And for Riot, it's all about taking Jem away from Rio.  It's too bad that Jem and Jerrica really weren't two separate people, because Jem and Riot are so self-centered that they really would make the perfect couple.

Perhaps the Misfits part is my favourite because for the first time ever, all four Misfits are united.  After all, with Eric basically abandoning them for the Stingers and all four members feeling like Misfits themselves, they need each other more than ever.  They really have become like sisters and while they may not always do the most ethical things, their relationships with each other have been strengthened.  It is really good to see that.

All in all, I'm interested in seeing how the Stingers shake up the last few episodes of the series.




Unfortunately, we won't see them in the next episode.  You'll have to settle for Video and Clash instead.  But hey, at least the Misfits appear in this episode more than the last two combined!