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Friday, May 19, 2017

Jem Reviewed: Episode 61 - That Old Houdini Magic


So, last week's episode of Jem Reviewed was insane.  Absolutely, completely insane.  Come to think of it, season three in general has been very much all over the place.  I'm just hoping that with five episodes left in the series that things start to calm down a bit!  



Let's see if this is the case with Episode 61: That Old Houdini Magic.  It's the second episode to feature magic as a common theme ("Music is Magic" was the first).  Let's see what tricks will be in store this time.



Well, we're inside of a gigantic mansion known as the Farnsworth mansion.  The occupant is one Mrs. Farnsworth, who is your typical definition of a rich widow.  Her husband passed away some time earlier, and she is now filling her time with throwing charity galas to raise money for the children's hospital.  That's nice.  The theme of this year's gala is Harry Houdini - a famous magician who captivated audiences with his magic tricks and illusions in the early 20th century.  The dress code is early 20th century chic, and the special entertainers include rock band Jem and the Holograms, as well as the famous illusionist Astral - who we haven't met yet.  But it seems like a great idea for a charity ball, and I for one would love to go.  Houdini is one of my favourite illusionists of all time.  I even did a school project on him when I was in the tenth grade!



All of the Holograms are dressed in their magic outfits and are eager to bring some magic to the stage.  It's also here that budding magician Kimber decides to get back into the magic game and perform a few tricks.  She immediately handcuffs herself to Raya - who I might add is not impressed by this at all.  And Raya's frustration grows when Kimber can't figure out how to unlock the cuffs.  Sigh.  Kimber, don't quit your day job.



The Stingers are also there, but for different reasons.  It seems as though Rapture is a huge fan of Houdini, even knowing when he died - October 31, 1926.  Rapture's constant talk about Houdini and how she idolizes him bores Minx to tears.  I'm surprised, since Houdini is Hungarian by birth.



Riot, meanwhile, is trying to turn up the charm and convince Mrs. Farnsworth to ditch the Holograms and promote the Stingers at the charity gala instead.  But to Riot's shock and horror, Mrs. Farnsworth does not take the bait and storms away leaving him open mouthed in astonishment!  I'm beginning to like Mrs. Farnsworth!



But when Mrs. Farnsworth introduces Jem and the Holograms to play their set for the pre-show party, Kimber and Raya are still stuck together.  And I don't know about any of you, but trying to play a synthesizer and drums with only one hand would be hard!  What are they going to do?

Before any of them can think, a cloud of smoke erupts in front of the band, and a strange figure appears to release Kimber and Raya from their steel shackles.  



Ah, so, this must be the famous magician Astral.  I guess when it comes to magic, she really has the power.



And what perfect time to feature a replay of a song from Episode 5 - "She's Got The Power".  As I stated back then, it's not the greatest Jem song.  But used in this context, I kind of like it a little better.  It's more interesting to write a song about a magician than a 7,000 pound computer that looks like Jane Fonda in her workout tapes.



The performance is a success and Mrs. Farnsworth and the Starlight Girls approve.  Jem and Mrs. Farnsworth are really looking forward to the benefit and they remark that both of them make a great team.  Too bad for Riot that Mrs. Farnsworth doesn't feel the same way about the Stingers.  She once again tells Riot that she isn't interested in featuring the Stingers and orders them to go away!  Oooh, that must bruise Riot's fragile ego!

Certainly it causes the Stingers to feel as if they have gotten stung, and Rapture makes it a point to seek out revenge.  I don't know what Rapture plans on doing, but she's the subject of today's Jem Trivia.  She's voiced by Ellen Gerstell, who has also appeared on "TaleSpin", "Darkwing Duck", "My Little Pony", and "Tenchi Muyo!".



Rapture happens to overhear a conversation between Mrs. Farnsworth and Ba Nee, where Ba Nee asks her why she wears so many watches.  Come to think of it, she does seem to be a walking advertisement for Timex.  Mrs. Farnsworth explains that a psychic she went to once told her that she would live as long as her watch kept ticking.  Unfortunately, she took that prophecy a bit too literal and she decided that if she wore dozens of watches on her arm, one would always be ticking and she would live forever.  It's all the ammo that Rapture needs as she plots her latest move.



She heads back to the display of the Houdini exhibit where a statue of Harry Houdini is located, and she grabs the white gloves off the statue and puts them on.  Of course, once Rapture touches the gloves, the security system goes off and alerts everyone to see what is going on.



Now here is where we learn how truly devious the Stingers really are - and it makes the Misfits look like the Teletubbies in comparison.  Rapture pretends that she is possessed by the spirit of Harry Houdini (even saying his real name of Erik Weisz to convince Mrs. Farnsworth), and that he has come to give her a message.  Astral and Jem are immediately aghast at Rapture's scheme and they instantly cry foul.  But whereas Riot failed to charm the elderly widow, Mrs. Farnsworth cannot say no to Harry Houdini.



Astral tries to tell Mrs. Farnsworth that Rapture is playing a cruel trick on her, and not to believe what she is saying, but Rapture is one step ahead of her.  She grabs a top hat and flings it into the middle of the room and asks Astral what this gesture means.  Astral explains that it was an inside communication between he and his wife.  Whenever they had a fight, if Houdini's wife threw the hat back into the room after he threw the hat in first.  And that seems to be enough for Mrs. Farnsworth to latch onto Rapture and believe everything she says.

Sigh...I take back all the cool things I said about her.



And, in the next scene, we discover just how devious the Stingers really are when they decide to do what they do best - screw with people's minds.  You see, with Mrs. Farnsworth doing everything that Rapture asks - so as long as she's pretending to be possessed by the spirit of Harry Houdini - the Stingers are taking advantage of her generosity as payback for not choosing them as the entertainment instead of Jem and the Holograms.  So, Rapture is making up this mumbo jumbo about how Houdini's host body needs new dresses and how the Riot and Minx need new clothes as well, and Mrs. Farnsworth has been reduced to the cash cow that keeps them dressed in black and yellow duds.  It's really painful to watch and it makes the Stingers even more cold-hearted than the Misfits.



For some reason, Astral is there as well, and she tries once more to get through to Mrs. Farnsworth, saying that the Stingers are playing a cruel trick on her.  But Rapture throws Houdini's glove on the floor and pretends that the spirit has left her body, which causes Minx to blame Astral for making him go away.  Mrs. Farnsworth is reduced to a blubbering mess as she begs for Houdini to come back and this continues until Rapture puts the glove back on.  I shouldn't be too surprised.  According to the Stingers, manipulation is the name of the game.



It's too bad that once again their personalities suck because their songs are incredible.  Yeah, the song "Mind Games" is essentially a declaration of mind-flocking 101 - but it is so friggin' catchy, I don't even care.  The video is quite good too in an Alfred Hitchcock kind of way.



Astral has had enough of this and decides that she wants to go and tell Jem and the Holograms everything that is going on, and the Holograms agree that Mrs. Farnsworth is being taken advantage of.  Considering that Jem goes goo goo eyed for Riot though, she may not be the best person to try and talk some sense into her.  Still, they have to try before the Stingers cause Mrs. Farnsworth mental distress or before they clean out her bank account.



Seems as though the Holograms and Astral are right to be worried.  Because now the Stingers are not only trying to convince Mrs. Farnsworth to let them perform at the gala, but they want her to donate all the money raised to a fictional charity that likely is going to be re-routed to the personal bank accounts of Rapture, Minx, and Riot.  Wow, is there no depth that they won't stoop down to?  This is getting insane.



By this point though, Astral has had enough, and she takes off her white glove and smacks Rapture across the face with it so hard her nose flies off.  No, wait.  Not even she'd do that.  But she decides to challenge Rapture to a magic duel.  If Rapture is really possessed by the spirit of Harry Houdini, then she should be able to best Astral at every opportunity - since Astral herself took magic lessons from a former associate of Harry Houdini back in the day.  Whoever wins the duel will take all of the prizes, including control of where the money donated will go. 

Ah, smart thinking, Astral.  If Rapture is really faking it (and we know she is), she'll be exposed as a fraud and the Stingers will be run out of town until the following episode.  But Rapture isn't ready to wave the white flag of surrender just yet.  Under the guise of Houdini, she agrees to Astral's duel.  Though, I get the feeling that Rapture's idea of winning the bet will involve a lot of cheating.  Hmm, maybe the Stingers and the Misfits are cut from the same cloth after all.



Speaking of cloth, it appears as though Rapture is having a difficult time trying to get out of the straitjacket that she is wearing - which is going to be difficult because Houdini used one for many of his tricks.



Of course, Techrat is there making fun of them.  My question is - when the hell was Techrat introduced to the Stingers?  I missed that episode!  Even more shocking is that he is actually quite willing to let Minx touch and caress him, but when Pizzazz so much as breathes on him, he looks ready to put out a restraining order!  This doesn't make sense at all...but what does make sense is the piece of jewelry that he's working on.



It seems as though that bracelet doubles as a remote control of sorts.  As Techrat demonstrates, it will come into play when Rapture as Houdini performs his most dangerous stunt - the Chinese Water Torture Chamber".  It's that trick where Houdini is chained within a straitjacket and is dropped into a tank filled to the top with water.  When Minx turns the bracelet a specific way and presses the ruby in the bracelet, the shackles will loosen and Rapture will be able to escape.  It sounds complex, but as long as nothing happens to the bracelet, Minx should have no trouble operating it. 

It's the night of the gala and everybody at the mansion is partying like it is 1919.  But the crowd is genuinely concerned that Mrs. Farnsworth is touting the gala as the place where Harry Houdini will be resurrected.  A few people in the audience believe that she has lost her mind while others think it will be a great show regardless.



Of course, with the Stingers being a no show at the gala, Jem and the Holograms seem to think that maybe they chickened out.  But when Mrs. Farnsworth goes out on stage to introduce the band, a flash of light fills the room and the attention is drawn to three sarchophagi - one gold, one silver, and one bronze.



The Stingers appear out of nowhere through the three sarchophagi - no surprise that an egomaniac like Riot would claim the gold one all to himself.

And just like that, the duel is on between the Stingers vs. Astral and Jem and the Holograms.  And this makes the first mash-up between the Stingers and Jem. 



"Believe/Don't Believe".  Which side do you like?  One thing I can say about the mash-up is that it is quite fun and that Britta Phillips and Gordon Grody really know how to blend their vocals together to create a decent song.  The Stingers, of course, want everyone to believe in their magic, while the Holograms tell everyone not to.  The song sounds better than that explanation.  Trust me on that one.



After the song is over, Rapture announces that she will now perform the Chinese Water Torture Chamber trick just as Houdini had done 70 years earlier...but she says it as if she really is Houdini.  Great, so she's now trying to deceive the audience.



Astral is absolutely horrified that Rapture is even trying to attempt the trick.  It's a very dangerous trick that has been attempted by several magicians since Houdini died and not all of the attempts were successful.  This is beyond scamming an old lady.  This has the potential to kill Rapture!  Astral begs Rapture not to go through with it, but she is too stubborn to even consider listening to her.  She prepares to lower herself into the tank, as she knows that Minx is the one controlling how the trick goes with her bracelet.



It's just a shame that in Techrat's rush to get the bracelet going, he neglected to make it water resistant.  A woman sitting at Minx's table spills orange soda all over Minx's bracelet shorting it out - just as Rapture takes a plunge into the water cage.  Minx realizes that she has no way to release Rapture from her shackles and rushes towards the cage begging someone to help her escape.



Astral reacts quickly, grabbing an axe and running towards the cage.  But with the cage being made of a very thick plastic that won't even crack, Astral realizes that the only way to save Rapture is to climb on top of the cage and go in that way.  



Astral dives down towards the middle of the cage, loosens Rapture's shackels enough for her to escape and saves her from drowning!  Astral saves the day!



Of course, Astral takes this opportunity for Rapture to come clean about her real intentions, and Rapture - who knows that she owes Astral her life - confesses that the Houdini thing was a joke and that Mrs. Farnsworth was punk'd.  Interestingly, the Stingers are allowed to leave the building without any repercussions.  You'd think that Astral would have at least turned them into bumblebees or something.  But then, Astral would have to be a sorceress...not a magician.

Poor Mrs. Farnsworth is feeling betrayed and taken advantage of, and even though the Stingers' plan was foiled, she's not happy.  It's up to Astral to try and make things right by having her star in one of her own illusions.



She locks her inside of a cage, performs a series of moves that keep the audience glued to the stage, and before you know it, Mrs. Farnsworth changes into a tiger!  How in the world did she do that?

Especially since Mrs. Farnsworth happens to be seated with the rest of the audience!  Teleportation!  I like it!



The audience loved it too.  Enough to donate more than enough to build the wing for the children's hospital!  And as Mrs. Farnsworth thanks Jem and Astral for all of their help, she announces that if there's anything that this experience has taught her, it is that she shouldn't wait for tomorrow when she should be living today.  Or, maybe that's a Kylie Minogue song.  The point is that she'll be living her life without fear, and as a symbolic gesture, she throws all the watches that she was wearing up in the air.



Again, nice gesture, but those watches are probably expensive.  

So, this episode wasn't as bad as the last couple.  I loved the Houdini angle of the show, and I thought that Astral was a nice new character.  The Stingers are still morally bankrupt, and I don't see that changing in the next episode.  




But why was Astral only on the one show?  Perhaps we'll find the answer next week as we are introduced to another new one shot character - and how her designs for success will leave her in stitches.

Thursday, May 18, 2017

May 18, 1980

Ready for another Throwback Thursday entry?  I guarantee that this week's topic might spark some "heated" discussion and could cause some to "blow their tops", but it's definitely one of the events that made May 18 a very explosive date in history!

Let's have a look at what else happened on the eighteenth of May in this selection of postings.

1565 - The Great Siege of Malta begins

1652 - Rhode Island passes the first law in English-speaking America that makes owning a slave illegal

1804 - Napoleon Bonaparte is proclaimed Emperor of France; exactly one year after the United Kingdom revoked the Treaty of Amiens

1812 - John Bellingham is found guilty of assassinating British Prime Minister Spencer Perceval and is sentenced to death

1860 - Abraham Lincoln wins the Republican Party presidential nomination

1863 - The Siege of Vicksburg begins during the American Civil War

1912 - Singer Perry Como (d. 2001) is born in Canonsburg, Pennsylvania

1920 - Pope John Paul II (d. 2005) is born in Wadowice, Republic of Poland

1927 - A disgruntled school board member plants a series of bombs all over Bath Consolidated School in Bath County, Michigan, killing 38 students and six adults

1928 - Actor Pernell Roberts (d. 2010) is born in Waycross, Georgia

1953 - Jackie Cochran becomes the first woman to break the sound barrier

1969 - Apollo 10 is launched

1980 - Joy Division singer Ian Curtis takes his own life; he was just 23

1981 - Actor Arthur O'Connell and writer William Saroyan both die on this date - interestingly, both were born in 1908

1985 - "Don't You (Forget About Me)" by Simple Minds reaches #1 on the Billboard Charts

1990 - Actress Jill Ireland passes away at the age of 54

1995 - Actress Elizabeth Montgomery passes away at the age of 62

2001 - The motion picture "Shrek" is released

2005 - Photos taken from the Hubble Space Telescope confirms the existence of two additional moons orbiting around Pluto - Nix and Hydra

2007 - Six years after the original was released, "Shrek The Third" is released

2013 - Actor Steve Forrest dies at the age of 87

And for celebrity birthdays, we have the following people turning one year older; Bill Macy, Priscilla Pointer, Robert Morse, Dwayne Hickman, Bruce Alexander, Reggie Jackson, Gail Strickland, Joe Bonsall, Mark Mothersbaugh, George Strait, Wreckless Eric, Chow Yun-fat, Toyah Willcox, Marty McSorley, Mimi Macpherson, Martika, Tina Fey, Billy HowerdelChantal KreviazukJack Johnson, David Nail, Allen Leech, Asia Vieira, and Jessica Watson.

(Oh, and yeah...it's my birthday too...but I'm not a celebrity.  Just putting it out there.)

Anyway, happy birthday to everyone celebrating today!

All right...now what I really wanted to do was find a topic that corresponded with my actual date of birth...but nothing really exciting happened.  In fact, one of the most talked about historical events of May 18 happened before I was born, and I missed it completely.



That event happened on May 18, 1980.  And I'm sure if you were living on the West Coast of the United States or Canada at that time, you probably already know the subject I have chosen.  For those that don't, I'll tell you.

I'm sure most of us have built one of those volcano models for a science fair project at some point in our lives.  It's one of the most replicated science projects all over the world, but yet there's still something satisfying about mixing baking soda and vinegar together to create a messy chain reaction that sends torrents of "lava" cascading down the volcano's Play-Doh sides!

Of course, the lava that was used inside the classroom volcanoes was mostly harmless - provided you didn't get any in your eyes, of course.  In real life, volcanoes can be quite deadly.  It's not just the molten rock and magma flowing out the top of the volcano that you have to worry about.  The poisonous ash and potential rock slides can also be a nightmare to deal with as well.  



I mean, just ask Diddy and Dixie Kong about just how dangerous a volcano can be!

While there have been several instances of volcanic eruptions that have taken place all over the world over the last million years or so - in recent history there have only been two that have taken place in North America.  One was the Lassen Peak eruption in California that took place in 1915.  The second one took place thirty-seven years ago today.  And it was a much larger, much deadlier blast.



This is the story of the Mount St. Helens volcanic eruption.  One that I missed by 365 days.

While the actual eruption took place on May 18, 1980, signs that all was not right with the mountain began to show up a little over two months earlier.  In March 1980, a series of small earthquakes started to take place on and around the mountain.  The people in the area didn't think too much of it at first, given that the west coast of the United States and Canada was covered with fault lines.  And prior to 1980, the volcano was dormant for well over one hundred years.

A few days after the series of tiny earthquakes began, a much larger 4.2 quake took place on March 20, centered below the north flank of the volcano, which was essentially the warning to everybody that magma was starting to flow underneath and that the volcano was becoming active once more.  Over the next few weeks leading up to the weekend of May 17, 1981, a series of earthquakes took place almost like clockwork, with the intensity gradually increasing each time.  The vibrations within the mountain would cause sheets of snow and ice to cascade down the side.  By the end of March, a few craters opened up at the top of the mountain thanks to the consistent seismic activity, and smoke began to billow out the top.  A state of emergency was declared the first week of April, and by the first of May, Governor Dixy Lee Ray had ordered a "red zone" to be extended around the perimeter of the volcano.   Anyone who was caught within the red zone would be subjected to a $500 fine, or be jailed for half a year.



During the first part of May, it seemed as though things were calming down, and tests that were done prior to May 18 showed that there were no changes that would indicate a massive eruption.  But at 8:32 am on the morning of May 18, those test results would blow up in everybody's faces.

It was at that time that a 5.1 magnitude earthquake took place directly below the north slope, and it was that earthquake that caused that slope to fall apart.  It triggered the largest landslide in recorded history!  The rocks toppled thousands of trees, and temporarily displaced the water that was within Spirit Lake.

As a result of the landslide, a gigantic ash cloud billowed out the top of the volcano with its estimated height reaching approximately 24 kilometres high and its diameter being 64 kilometres wide!  No wonder the entire area around the volcano was blanketed with lots of ash!  A pyroclastic flow of lava poured out of the volcano.  At one time, the lava flow was so quick it reached a top speed of 670 mph!  The temperature of the lava was extremely hot as well, with the highest temperature recorded at approximately 680 degrees Fahrenheit.

Unfortunately, the explosion at Mount St. Helens caused more than just a lot of damage and permanent disfiguration of the area around the volcano.  Those unlucky enough to be in the path of destruction didn't live to tell the tale.  A total of fifty-seven people were killed that day - though not because of the intense heat of the lava.  Most of those who died succumbed to suffocation caused by the intense smoke and ash that rained down above them, though a few did have fatal burn wounds caused by the lava and the fires that erupted.

Among the deceased were lodge owner Harry R. Truman, aged 83.  He refused to leave his home outside of the mountain despite the red zone being put in place and the mandatory evacuations that were in effect at the time.  Also caught in the path of destruction was volcanologist David A. Johnston, and a pair of photographers - National Geographic's Reid Blackburn and Robert Landsburg.  Incredibly, Landsburg's camera footage survived, as his body protected the film inside.  





It's been almost four decades since the eruption of Mount St. Helens.  A large crater where the north face once was remains.  The direct area of the blast is still very much a wasteland of sorts, with dead trees littering various parts of the area and holes in the ground where trees once stood.  Scorch marks can still be seen in some areas due to the lava and fires that spread throughout the area.  The mountain which once stood at 9,677 feet in height lost over 1,300 feet in height following the eruption.  The estimated cost of the disaster was well over $1.1 billion.

And yet, to this day, Mount St. Helens remains an active volcano of sorts, with the last recorded eruption taking place in January 2008.  It's unclear as to whether or not the volcano could erupt once more and cause more damage, but I'm sure anybody who was around on May 18, 1980 won't even forget that day.

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

The Truth About Myself - Part 4 + The Latest Birthday Cake Chronicles Post

This is probably going to be the last post I make on this blog as a thirty-five year old man.

Mainly because in a couple of days, I'll be thirty-six.



And, I'll say this about turning 36.  It's been a hell of a ride so far.

Another year, soon to be another birthday cake.  And, as I've done with other years in the past (I did a whole series of birthday cake postings when I was celebrating the 4th anniversary of this blog in 2015), I'll take a look at some of the cool things that were popular during this time.






#1 SONG ON THE BILLBOARD CHARTS for WEEK OF 5/18/2017
"That's What I Like" - BRUNO MARS


You know, after having been disappointed with the #1 song on my birthday for the last few years, this is one that I can say that I enjoy.  It's a really great tune by Bruno, and it's one that I can say that I downloaded onto my iPod the moment I heard it.  Considering how the music industry has been bland as tofu the last decade, this is a bold statement for me to make!



#1 MOVIE AT THE BOX OFFICE FOR THE WEEK OF 5/18/2017
"Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 2"

No surprise here.  The first one was a huge hit (and really one of the few superhero like movies that I really liked).  I half expect the second one to make just as huge an impact even though as of right now, I have not yet seen it. 

I still have no clue what the highest rated television show is for the 2016/2017 season, as it's still running.  Time will tell, I suppose.

Okay, now that this is over with, it's also time to talk about Part 4 of the series that I have liked to call "The Truth About Myself".  And so far, I've come to the conclusion that my truths are unique.  Some may call it weird.  Others might call it fascinating.  Not many people would admit to being a person who potentially could be on the spectrum, is super sensitive to certain things, and who doesn't understand what true love is no matter how many times he listens to that P!nk song of the same name.

Well, here's another thing that I would like to share with you.  And while this blog post is meant for all of you to see - there are some people who I think will appreciate this a lot - and I think you probably know who you are as you read on.



You know that cool purple flower emoji that represents being thankful that people now have on their Facebook accounts?  Consider this to be a gigantic purple flower of sorts.

Which works great because purple is my favourite colour.

The truth that I want to reveal this week is all about gratitude.  Gratitude towards a group of people who have stuck by me for more than a decade and a half, and who have always been there for me even when I needed a kick in the backside or a friendly smile.

But here's the twist.  Would you believe that with a couple of exceptions, these are all people whom I've never met?  At least, not in person anyway.

These are all people who I have been fortunate enough to meet online.  And in many cases, I care more about my online pals than I do people in my own hometown!

Bizarro world, I know.  But you know what?  We're all a little bit bizarro every once in a while.  Some just show it more than others.  Like myself for instance.

Mind you, that's not to say that I don't have pals in my town.  I do like quite a few people in town.  One such pal that moved back to town recently has been my friend for almost thirty years now, and he is definitely one of my best friends.  Believe me, when it comes to friends that I interact with face to face, I'm extremely grateful and loyal to those who like me for me and who don't want to try and change me too much.

Because I haven't always been lucky in that regard.

I like to say that when it comes to the world, they might perceive me as being anti-social.  I don't see it as such.  I don't have my doors locked at all hours of the day, nor do I have an underground bunker that I hide in, nor do I purposely go out of my way to avoid people.  Well, unless I'm in a small room crammed with them.  Then my slight feelings of claustrophobia are ignited.

I do classify myself as being anti-society though.  Or at least the part of society that tries to morph you into what they deem "normal" or "cool" or "fashionable".  Most people spend their entire lives trying to be good enough for society to accept them.  I've never really wanted the desire to do that.  I just want people to like me for who I am without my feeling the need to change myself that much - if at all. 

And that's where my online pals come into play.  In the real world, people judge you based on a whole variety of things.  They might make fun of your weight.  They might trash your wardrobe (figuratively and literally).  They physically and emotionally abuse you because they are dared to by their peers.  They isolate you from the rest of the world because they deem you unfit to mingle with them.  And what's worse is that they do it sometimes without bothering to get to know who the other person in the middle of their crosshairs are because they are pressured by society to put down those who don't "measure up".

I think that's what attracted me to finding friendships via the Internet.  There's no pressure to be anybody that you aren't.  There's no pressure to wear the latest fashions or wear your hair a certain way, or be a size 2.  Heck, being online is the only way you could friend a complete stranger wearing just your underwear and one sock and not get arrested or slapped for it.

(And, yes...in a couple of cases, that's exactly what happened.  I won't mention which ones though.  That's unnecessary and creepy.)

DISCLAIMER:  Now, I will stress that at the time, I was an adult.  I certainly wouldn't recommend that any teenagers try this, as the Internet does have its share of dangerous people online.  In fact, if you are under the age of 18, I would strongly suggest against it. 

But it's amazing just how powerful online friendships can be.  You could literally be an ocean apart and still have a rock solid friendship.  It's amazing that once you get to know each other and start chatting away, you find that you can suddenly develop a lot more confidence in yourself (at least this was the case for me).  And while sometimes you can make some poor judgment choices in selecting friends (which I have now blocked on social media), in many cases, I've found that some of my best friends in the world have been made via a modem and a keyboard.  It's really cool to boast about having friends from British Columbia to Britain, and at some point I would hope that I have the opportunity to meet as many of them as I can so I can thank them for being my friend.

Of course, this does add a bit of trepidation about it.  Not necessarily about concerns for my own safety (though admittedly I have thought about it).  But more along the lines of...what if we meet in person and they are disappointed in who I really am?  Or what if I get disappointed about who they are?  It's a bit of a chance to take in hopes of not destroying the illusion that we have of each other...but it's a chance that I'd like to take.

Besides...the confidence that I get from both my online pals, and the few hometown pals I have will lead into the fifth and final truth.  And that will coincide with the 6th anniversary blog post!

Friday, May 12, 2017

Jem Reviewed: Episode 60 - The Day The Music Died


Since everybody lost their ever lovin' minds on the last episode of Jem Reviewed, I'm seriously hoping that this episode coming up is more normal.  After all, it is the sixtieth episode of the series.  I'm sure they have something special planned.

All we have to do is get through the lame "Me and my friends are Jem Girls" opening that they've used since the middle of Season 2.  I hate that opening.  "Truly Outrageous" was a much better song.  This one seems like one used for a Hasbro commercial, and...



...okay, why is the film breaking?  Why are we seeing lots of weird cut scenes?  Why is Kimber crying?  Wait...Kimber announces that there won't be a show today.  Oh, okay, I'll just take a break for this week.  No, wait.  There is a show, it's just that Jem, nor Jerrica will be there.  According to Kimber's tone, it appears as though she died...and it's all Kimber's fault!  Whoa, I knew Kimber was jealous of Jem, but to kill her off?  That's cold, Kimber.  Or, maybe there is more to the story.



Let's go ahead and watch Episode 60: The Day The Music Died and see what really happened even though despite the fact that Kimber said there's no show we're actually watching a show.  Yeah, this episode looks about as riveting at Episode 59.  Oh yes...one final note before we go on.  This episode is unique in that the majority of it features a slew of characters breaking the fourth wall.  Kimber is merely the first as she tells us that the whole thing started three months ago.



At Starlight Music, Jerrica is clearly not doing very well.  She's very visibly stressed out with work and obligations, and she seems to be taking out her frustrations on other people.  Shana gets snippity with her when Jerrica dismisses her logo based on the colour.  Rio calls Jerrica a cheapskate when she refuses to spend any extra money on set lighting, and Kimber gets Jerrica so irate that she has a temper tantrum and throws everybody out of her office!  I get the feeling that Jerrica won't be getting a "World's Greatest Boss" coffee mug this Christmas.



We switch over to Raya, who picks up where Kimber left off.  Raya explains that while Jerrica was getting stressed out, Jem was even starting to lose it.  When Jem gets a call from Rio stating that his car had broken down and he wouldn't be able to make it to their concert, Jem loses the plot.  She even forces the other Holograms to pick up a gigantic amplifier to lift it up for which I presume Jem will be doing the set-up herself?  One thing is for sure, the other Holograms are noticing that Jem and Jerrica are one pink hair extension away from a complete meltdown.  Raya also talks about how the Stingers were performing that night as well, and how no matter how sensible Jem comes across, she always falls under Riot's spell.  And, well, I think this is as good a time as any to hear a Stingers song.



"Under My Spell" is all kinds of fantastic, I should add.  Really, the Stingers songs that I have heard this season (well, except the first lame Stingers Theme), are well put together, and they are easily some of the most polished songs in the series.  Perhaps this edition of Jem Trivia might explain why.  The singing voice of Riot is done by Gordon Grody - a talented vocalist in his own right, as well as a vocal coach.  Would you believe he worked as the vocal coach for Lady Gaga?  Not bad for a guy who provided singing vocals for one of the most pompous narcissists on a cartoon!



Raya would like to continue this story, but Roxy of all people interrupts her, telling her to get back to work.  Wait, when did Raya start taking orders from Roxy?  And why is Roxy driving Jem's car?  I get the feeling that there's something amiss here.  Both Jem and Jerrica are gone and now Raya's become a Misfits slave?  Where the hell is Jerrica?



Oh, she's...relaxing on an island?  What is this?  Is she playing the game of Survivor some twelve years before the reality television series debuted?  At least we know that she didn't die. 



Oh, wait.  Riot's there.  In a loincloth.  Yuck.  I can no longer watch a Tarzan movie ever again.  But why are Riot and Jem trapped on a deserted island?  Well, that's partly Riot's doing.



Riot explains that he convinced Jem to board a yacht with him - to which I wonder how he got the money to pay for the yacht.  Eric Raymond must be subsidizing him very well at Stingers Sound.  Riot suggests that Jem take a relaxing vacation with him to de-stress, and initially Jem declines the offer.  Well, at least that is until Riot admits to Jem that he already set the yacht adrift and they're going out to sea.  Oh, great...so the lesson learned is if a woman doesn't want to go on vacation with you, kidnap her and go anyway?  Yeesh.  This episode's just delightful isn't it?



Of course, Jem - still furious with Rio for missing the concert, and stressed out over her responsibilities doesn't mind one bit and happily accepts becoming Riot's "hostage".  You see, this is the very definition of "Stockholm Syndrome" - right down to the reuse of "Under My Spell" as Riot and Jem get even more intimate - well, as intimate as one can get on a kids cartoon series, that is.  After the montage, Riot asks Jem if she's relaxed, and Jem responds that this was a great idea, but she'd like to go home because she misses her friends and her sister.  Oh, sweet Jesus, Jem - just friggin' tell the world your real identity and be done with it woman!



So, that was three months ago.  Three months later, Jem/Jerrica still hasn't shown up yet.  And we hear from a confessional from Aja that this has wreaked havoc on Starlight Music.  Sigh...once again, Shana is left out of the confessional period.  Maybe she really should have left the Holograms at the beginning of Season 2 - she's had very little screen time since.  Anyway, Aja states that since Jerrica left, Starlight Music went into freefall, and they are in debt to their eyeballs.  Creditors, collection agents, and bill collectors are pounding on the doors wanting them to pay up.



Um...you're telling me that in the three months since Jerrica disappeared, nobody thought to look for her?  And that in three months, Starlight Music went from being profitable to being bankrupt?  Did any of the Holograms study mathematics?  Sheesh!



And judging by the postcard that Kimber is reading, it doesn't seem to be good news.  Seems as though the postcard is from Jem, and it explains that Jem is in Mexico with Riot and she has decided to stay with him there.  She hopes Rio will understand.  Um...what?  How did they get to Mexico without a passport?  And, she does realize that Rio's temper is so strong that he'd likely chop down every tree in Yellowstone National Park, right?  This is weird.  Very weird.

Aja explains that because of the financial stress that they were in, and because Jem just up and ditched the band to frolic with Riot on the beaches of Mexico, they were forced to sell Starlight Music to keep it going.  And, can you guess who ended up buying the music company?



Yep.  You guessed it.  Well, okay, technically her father bought it.  But with Pizzazz in control, you can guess that Jem's worst nightmare has come true.



As you can see, Pizzazz wastes no time in marking her territory.



No time at all.  Pizzazz actually takes glee in the fact that she did the one thing that Eric Raymond could never do - get permanent control of Starlight Music.  Actually, Pizzazz does make a good point.  And as she is throwing Jerrica's personal belongings and photos away, she explains that she renamed Starlight Music as Misfits Music.  Since the Holograms were under contract with Starlight Music at the time, they all now work for HER!  Ah, now this explains so much.  Furthermore, she recruited Minx and Rapture to join her as well, since Pizzazz accurately describes it as "they are nothing without their leader".  And since Riot seemingly chose Jem over her, she really doesn't care what happens to them anymore. 

I just find it wild that she told Clash that she will NEVER be a Misfit, but yet she has no problem giving that same status to Kimber, Aja, Shana, Raya, Minx, and Rapture.  Boy, they really must have HATED Clash, huh?

The Stingers and Jem and the Holograms dropped off the face of the earth while the new Misfits are now at the top of the charts.  And we get a taste of the final new original Misfits song of the series.  Fortunately, it's one of their best.



I have to say, despite the distraction of Aja, Kimber, Shana, Raya, Rapture, and Minx appearing in the video, the song "Top of the Charts" is PHENOMENAL!  I'm calling it right now as one of the best Misfits songs ever.  It's definitely got edge and style.  It's also sort of nice to see that the last original Misfits song is a positive one.  Well, as positive as the Misfits can get.  And while the rest of the series will still feature the Misfits, all future songs will be repeat performances - which sucks.



So, how did Pizzazz get control of Starlight Music?  Well, as explained, Kimber sold it to Harvey Gabor.  Not by choice though.  With Starlight Music in dire straits, if the debt was not settled, the collection agencies would seize all assets tied with the business - which includes Starlight Mansion.  If Starlight Mansion was seized, the twelve foster girls would be split up.  Kimber, not wanting this, had no choice but to sell.  At least the Starlight Girls would be together, but with Pizzazz running the show - well...let's just say that no honor jar would be enough to fix it.



It's nice to know that while the Starlight empire is crumbling down, Jem is too busy getting a tan.  But it seems that not all is well in paradise, as we hear about how Jem and Riot got stranded on the island in the first place.  



Initially, Jem was having a great time with Riot, and she really felt grateful to him for helping her relax.  But Jem also was eager to get back home.  Every opportunity Riot took to keep Jem away, he did.  But Riot may have stepped too far when he accidentally let it slip that he was the one who sabotaged Rio's vehicle, preventing him from getting to their last concert.  



Jem becomes absolutely enraged with Riot for deceiving her (wow, she really HAS been hanging around Rio too long.  She demands that Riot take her home NOW, but Riot doesn't seem to want to give in to her demands.  So, Jem decides that if Riot won't take her home, she'll take herself home, and so she grabs control of the speedboat that they are in...



...and ends up crashing into a shallow reef, making the boat explode and sending Riot and Jem sailing off into outer space.  Way to go, Jem!  As we well know though, Jem and Riot didn't die.  But with Jem and Riot unable to get off the island, this sets the stage for what is currently happening.



And what is currently happening is explained by Minx, who acts as the narrator for this scene.  Curiously, Minx and Rapture are at Starlight Mansion - I suppose now that Pizzazz owns it, they're free to drop in whenever they like.  But all Minx seems to want to talk about is Rio...and how depressed he is.  She says that all he does is stare at it, and she wants to know why.



She snatches the postcard from Rio, which makes him very angry.  Angry enough to chase Minx around the room, trying to get it back and causing some minor damage to the house.  Alas, no plants were harmed this time around.



By the time the Holograms come into the room, Rio has successfully grabbed the last thing that Jem ever wrote to him.  But Minx actually drops a bombshell.  She claims that Jem did NOT write the postcard at all.  Kimber, Aja, and Rio look the card over and they seem to think it might be Jem's handwriting.  Now, Kimber almost reveals that Jem is her sister while looking over the postcard, but I think she's not the only one taking stupid pills.  The Holograms (with the exception of Raya) and Rio have known Jerrica since they were kids.  After all this time, they SHOULD know her handwriting!  Has she never bought them a birthday card?  Wow, maybe Rio was right about her being a cheapskate!



Minx explains that the R with a circle around it is Riot's trademark signature and that he writes it along with every autograph he signs.  Kimber remarks that she thought it was part of the post stamp.  Yep, keep taking those stupid pills, Kimber.  They're doing you a world of good.  At least Rio seems to have taken a smaller dose of them and notes that since the postmark is indeed from Mexico, and he suggests that all of them (Rapture and Minx included) take the next flight out to bring both Riot and Jem home. 



Unfortunately, that doesn't seem to include the Misfits, and Pizzazz is so angry over the fact that everyone is leaving her and the others behind that she throws a croquet mallet in frustration!



This of course prompts Ashley to make a few comments about the situation.  She and the other eleven Starlight Girls are getting extremely annoyed with the Misfits and want to see them make a hasty exit out of their home.  She, Krissie, and Ba Nee have come up with a plan to make them rethink the deal they made earlier.  How they do this is they try to guilt trip Pizzazz into taking them back to school shopping so they can re-enact the "She Makes an Impression" video from Episode 13.  Pizzazz isn't ready to start warbling Holograms songs any time soon, so she tells them to buzz off.  But when Krissie threatens to call CPS on Pizzazz, telling them that Pizzazz refuses to give them the basic necessities, Pizzazz caves, and takes them to the Fashion Mall.  At least, I assume so.  I wonder if Jem is still banned from there?



In what seems like a few minutes, Rio, the Holograms, and two-thirds of the Stingers arrive at a boat dock in what I presume is Mexico - yeah, this story makes no sense regardless so let's just go with that.  The man who runs the boat rental business says that he did rent out a boat to Riot and Jem but he had heard that it had crashed and exploded.  Everyone is crestfallen to hear the news, but Rio refuses to give up.  He suggests that everybody split up and go in different directions and hopefully they will come across Jem or Riot.  Minx naturally decides to go with Rio in hopes that he'll forget about Jem and go with her, but somehow that's one purple scratching post that Minx will have a hard time sinking her claws into.



Back at Starlight Misfits Music, Pizzazz, Roxy, Stormer, and Jetta are stunned at the expenses the Starlight Girls have racked up.  Thousands of dollars spent on school books, dentist visits, pizza nights, and calls to the New Kids on the Block 1-900 number!  How can they afford all of that?  What's worse is that when they bring Eric in to help them balance the books, Eric is horrified to learn that with Pizzazz running things, she's actually put the company in even more debt than it was at when Jem first went missing!  Wow, is there ANYTHING other than singing that Pizzazz can do right?



Back in the Mexican island nation (I don't know what else to call it), Rio and Minx happen to come across Riot and Jem's island getaway and naturally Rio gets the wrong idea about what he sees and leaves thinking that Riot and Jem are going to become the new millionaires of Gilligan's Island.  Surprisingly, Minx decides that she will intervene and confront Riot and Jem.  She doesn't really like being at the Starlight Mansion and she really HATES being Pizzazz's slave.  Ah, so Minx is only caring about herself.  Some people never change.



And as soon as Minx mentions Rio's name, Jem's eyes perk up, she runs away from Riot and she leaps into Rio's arms.  I'll spare you the lovey dovey stuff they say to each other because I really don't care.



Oh, and of course, Riot goes into his Tarzan mode where he goes "Me Tarzan, you Jem, she stays" program.  Rio goes into his "everybody is a plant" program and begins to fight him.



And Jem goes into the "I am not the last Pillsbury Crescent Roll, so please stop fighting over me" program, and whines that she just wants to go home.  And, you know, I just want to say that both Jem and Riot look as if they have stepped out of an Herbal Essences shampoo commercial.  They should not look this perfect after being stranded on a deserted island for ninety days.  I've seen "Cast Away" for crying out loud!



So, Jem gets on board a boat with Rio, Kimber, Shana, Aja, and Raya (how did they get there so fast?), and Jem is really happy to return home even though Kimber sold her business to Pizzazz and they are in more debt than ever.  But hey, we have to have a happy-ish ending.  Besides, it looks like Rio took revenge on Riot by pulling the spark plug from the engine of his own boat! 



The last we see of the Stingers is Riot acting like a diva and forcing Minx and Rapture to paddle him to safety.  He must really have them charmed.  If I were one of them, I'd have taken the oar to his soft little Aqua Net coated head long ago.  Seriously, THIS is the man that is the second coming of Elvis Presley?  I don't think so!

There's just one final hurdle that we have to leap over before we stick a fork in this episode.  The fact that the Misfits still live in Starlight Mansion and own Starlight Music.  But once Jerrica sets foot inside of the mansion, she sees total chaos.



On one hand, Jerrica must be fuming that all twelve of her girls are destroying the mansion room by room.  But the fact that Pizzazz and Eric are pulling their hair out trying to calm the girls down is strangely satisfying.



Pizzazz is having such a hard time with it all that once she sees Jerrica, she practically GIVES back everything she took!  What a complete 180!  I knew that once she saw things on the other side, she'd reconsider everything!  Eric Raymond tries to make an offer to Pizzazz, saying that he'll buy it from her, and take over control of Starlight Music and Starlight Mansion - something that has really been his goal since the beginning of the series.  But when Ba Nee calls him Uncle Eric, he flees!  HAH!



The final song of the series is played as Jerrica reunites with her girls.  It's the song "All's Right With The World" - first heard in Episode 28.  But nothing's all right with this episode.  It was just all over the place!  Actually, Season 3 has been all over the place!  It's like they knew the show was ending and wrote half-assed scripts for the duration!




Hopefully next week's show will be better.  Apparently it's a celebration of Harry Houdini - one of my favourite magicians!