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Wednesday, February 07, 2018

"This Is Us"

An interesting thing that I've noticed that I've been doing for 2018 so far is talking about more current pop culture events.  This wasn't intentional, but so far I think I'm liking it.  As well, whereas 2017 was more music themed, I think 2018 seems to be focusing more on television.  And why not?  I think as we get further into the year, 2018 seems to be the year where we are entering another golden age of television.  There are a lot of really well-written shows on both cable networks and online streaming sites, and the choices are endless.

Sometimes, you never know what show you'll become engrossed in until you sit down, watch an episode, and hours later you're on episode seventeen and realized you forgot to eat lunch and dinner!

Well, okay...maybe that's a little extreme, but you get the picture.  Truth be told, last week I got ensnared in the binge-watching trap and found a show that lots of people have been talking about and it is considered one of the highest rated television series of the 2016/2017 television season.  In fact, it is a show that was so well received that it was automatically picked up for three seasons AFTER THE FIRST EPISODE AIRED!  In today's television landscape, that never happens!



Of course, there hasn't been a show like "This Is Us" to come around in years.  It's the television show that has essentially made NBC "Must See TV" again after almost an entire decade of flop after flop.  But the series - created by Dan Fogelman - is one that is really unique in that it tells the story of a family dealing with the happy times and the sad times.  The show is unique in that it tells the story through time jumps.  One moment, you're in the year 1980, the next, you're in 2016, the next, it's 1998, and so on, and so forth.  It's like "Cold Case", but without someone getting murdered each episode. 

Though, there is one person in the show that IS dead...but we'll get to that a little later.



Part of the charm of "This Is Us" is the brilliance of the cast.  The cast as of season two (and it's a large cast indeed) includes Milo Ventimiglia (Jack), Mandy Moore (Rebecca), Justin Hartley (Adult Kevin), Chrissy Metz (Adult Kate), Sterling K. Brown (Adult Randall), Logan Shroyer (Teen Kevin), Hannah Zeile (Teen Kate), Niles Fitch (Teen Randall), Parker Bates (Child Kevin), Mackenzie Hancsicsak (Child Kate), Lonnie Chavis (Child Randall), Susan Kelichi Watson (Beth), Chris Sullivan (Toby), Ron Cephas Jones (William), Eris Baker (Tess), Faithe Herman (Annie), Jon Huertas (Miguel) and Alexandra Breckenridge (Sophie). 

As mentioned about, the show revolves around a family.  In this case, the Pearson's.  Jack and Rebecca are married and Rebecca delivers triplets on Jack's 36th birthday - Kevin, Kate, and a third baby that was stillborn.  As luck would have it though, a firefighter finds an abandoned baby at a firehouse and Jack and Rebecca adopt him and name him Randall to complete their "Big Three".  Tragically (and I suppose I can share this now since most everyone has heard about it by now), Jack dies when his children are seventeen, and since then, the Big Three have had to deal with their own issues following Jack's death.  Kevin has to deal with finding his footing as an actor while simultaneously battling a drug addiction.  Kate is an aspiring singer who just happens to have an issue with her weight and body image.  And while Randall seems to have every cog in place, the reappearance of his biological father causes him to re-evaluate everything important to him.

The series begins on the Big Three's respective 36th birthday celebrations where all three kids come to a realization.  Randall discovers that he wants to have a relationship with his biological father, William - who happens to be dying of cancer.  Kevin quits his sitcom after he is fed up with the writing and opts to start a career in theatre.  And at a weight loss support group, Kate meets the love of her life, Toby, and embarks on a relationship with him.



It's a wonderful series that depicts every possible emotion you could experience.  You'll be shedding a lot of sad tears, but there are some comedic moments where you'll be shedding some happy tears as well.  Let's put it this way, you'll need to have lots of Kleenex on you.



And please...don't destroy your crock pots either.  Anyone who knows what I am talking about has likely watched the show!

So, how is the best way to talk about the various characters and storylines?  Well, I think that when it comes to the Pearson family, the best bet is for me to talk about each character by ranking them from most favourite to least favourite.  Though this has nothing to do with any of the actors.  All of them are outstanding and I think all of them deserve an Emmy award for their fine work.  But some characters are more developed than others, and I am sure that as the show continues we will learn more about them and my rankings will change.

For now, here's my list.



#1:  JACK PEARSON

Okay, you know something, Jack is NEARLY the perfect dad.  He's really the dad that everybody wants to have.  He is kind, he is loving, he is supportive, and he will do almost anything to make sure that his loved ones are okay.  In fact, you could argue that resolve was ultimately what killed him - but that makes us love him even more for it.  Of course, he may be my favourite character on "This Is Us", but even he's not perfect.  His penchant for alcohol is one flaw he has.  And while the Pearson family might hold him in high regard, that's not to say that Jack doesn't have more secrets to unearth.  For now, he's the glue that essentially holds this cast together - in life and in death.



#2.  RANDALL PEARSON

He may not be biologically related to the family, but Randall is every bit a Pearson.  And as the only one of the Big Three to have a family of his own, he is definitely following in Jack's footsteps as far as fatherhood goes.  With his lovely wife Beth, he is raising his two daughters with as much love as Jack showed him.  He's arguably the most financially sound of the Big Three as well, and he certainly seems to be the guy that everyone seems to hold in high regard.  The reunion with William just made Randall that much likeable.  My only foible with Randall is that at times the show depicts him as TOO perfect.  And unlike Jack, it means that Randall sometimes comes across as being on auto-pilot.  The story arc with William certainly helped Randall develop as a character, and I want to see more of that as the show progresses because it makes him a much richer character.  We all know Sterling K. Brown can act (he has the awards to prove it).  I hope to see more of it in action.



#3.  KATE PEARSON

She's the middle child of the Big Three, and the middle character in this list.  I don't dislike Kate, but I'm not over the moon over her either.  During season one, it was as if every single storyline was about her weight issues.  It was fine for a little while, but it should have never been the main focus because otherwise we'd lose interest pretty quickly.  But as season one ended and season two began, Kate's popularity grew on me.  It helps that the child and teen actresses are probably the closest to Chrissy Metz's real looks and mannerisms which makes her the most believable of the characters.  But I think her relationship with Toby (which I wasn't feeling during season one, but like a lot better in season two), as well as her aspiring music career has helped flesh her out as a character.  And from the flashback scenes of Jack's death, we sort of understand why Kate turned out the way she did - well, as least partially.  And another reason why is linked to #4 on my list.



#4 - REBECCA PEARSON

Look, I have nothing against Mandy Moore.  She's a great actress, a great singer (yes, I'll admit to having "In My Pocket" and "I Wanna Be With You" on my iPod), and frankly if she DOESN'T get an Emmy nomination at least, the system is flawed.  She has put out some awesome work this year.  That said, the character she plays is the definition of "the road to hell is paved with good intentions".  I don't think Rebecca means to be overly critical...she really does want what's best for her family.  I just think that she makes a lot of poor decisions.  It's hard to excuse the fact that she hid William from Randall all those years, but seeing her explain why she did what she did...I get why she did it.  It still makes it the wrong choice, but I get where she was coming from.  But the criticisms she gives to Kate about her singing and her appearance likely sparked Kate's issues with positive body image, and I feel as though this will be an ongoing thing.  I also want to understand how she and Miguel fell in love.  After all, Jack and Miguel were best friends.  There's still plenty of story to tell with Rebecca, and the second season has done well in trying to repair the relationships between Rebecca and her kids...but more work needs to be done.



#5. KEVIN PEARSON

Again, this has nothing to do with the actor who plays Kevin.  Justin Hartley is a fantastic actor as are the two other actors who play young Kevin.  They all do a great job in portraying a character who makes questionable choices and some rather selfish decisions.  And yeah, during season one, Kevin was NOT my favourite character.  He seemed to lack direction in a huge way, and while he seemed to take one step forward once in a while, he would take about eighteen steps back the next episode.  I also didn't appreciate the fact that he treated Randall so terribly during their formative years, and I thought he was sort of a jerk.  It actually wasn't until we saw Kevin go into rehab and open up more that we learned why that was the case.  I have hopes that Kevin will become a better character, and every now and then he will have flashes of brilliance that makes me think that he's a great character.  But he does have the roughest road to redemption.  But hey, as I said earlier, Justin Hartley's a great actor, and I think he's up to the task.

So, that's my entry on "This Is Us".  And now that I have finished it up, I need to buy some more Kleenex.  Do you agree or disagree with my list?  And do you have any "This Is Us" moments that you want to talk about?  I'm open to hearing them!

Friday, February 02, 2018

Recapping One Day at a Time - Episode 2 - Bobos and Mamitas

This week in "Recapping One Day at a Time", we'll be looking at an issue that has been a problem for working women for decades now.  And while I feel the solution for this episode is a bit of a quick fix in comparison to what really takes place, I feel it's still a great episode.

This is Episode 2: Bobos and Mamitas.  Now, I am incredibly rusty on Spanish, so I had to use Google Translate to try and decipher them.  I'm still lost on the meaning of Mamitas, but a Bobo is a Spanish word for fool.  Or maybe even stronger than that.  I get the feeling that Penelope is going to have her hands full with stupid people this week.



For now, we pop in where we left off last week, where we see Penelope and Lydia in bed together.  Because as we learned, Penelope used to fall asleep when her now ex-husband used to spoon her.  So, naturally, Lydia decided to take over.  Not that this is weird in any way according to her, of course.  During the night, Penelope wakes up in a panic, and it is clear that she has had another nightmare about her time in Afghanistan.  Fortunately, Lydia is there to help her through it and calm her down.

A side note is that Lydia also happens to wear makeup to bed.  Not weird at all.  No weirder than sharing your bed with your thirty-eight year old grown daughter, anyway.



After Lydia leaves the room to make breakfast, we see Penelope with the bottle of anti-depressants she was prescribed and she takes one, telling her reflection in the mirror that she'll be okay.  Good for her.  It's not easy to admit that one might need help to deal with mental issues, and I applaud her for taking this step.



The following morning, Lydia is doing yoga while Elena is pounding on the bathroom door as Alex flushes the toilet five times in a row.  Elena is furious that Alex is wasting water and is "killing the planet", which Alex seems to take great pleasure in.  See, Elena is very much passionate about ecology and saving the planet, and is actually in the midst of doing some sort of environmental protest at her school.  I think it has something to do with composting, but I didn't really pay attention because at this point Elena kind of annoys me as a character.  Isabella Gomez is a lovely actress.  Elena is a bit of a pain.

She is determined to make her case, but Lydia is too distracted by the fact that she isn't getting ready for school and tells her to put on some makeup - which Elena hates.  See, there's another thing you should know.  Alex (whom Lydia refers to as Papito) is her favourite.  Elena is...not so much.  Though it could be because Elena and Lydia are so different personality wise.



Of course, Penelope isn't in the mood to hear any of it at the moment.  She has to report to work early because there's a staff meeting at the clinic where she works.  But before she leaves, she tells Elena that when she makes her case to not be taken aback by the "Bobos", and that if they try to make her feel bad, to just smile and pretend it doesn't bother her.



And apparently, there's only four people at Dr. Berkowitz's clinic.  Despite this, Dr. B. still insists on taking attendance.  Yeah, I get the feeling that Dr. B. is socially awkward.  Which is fine.  I get it.  I'm that way as well.  Aside from Dr. B. and Penelope, we have the secretary, Lori - who admittedly is a bit of a ditz who believes that wearing the wrong bra size her whole life is a pressing issue that greatly affects the quality of care given to the patients of the clinic.  We also have a male nurse named Scott - and based on his cell phone addiction, his sucking up to Dr. B. and his overall holier-than-thou attitude, I get the feeling that this is our "Bobo" in this episode.



We learn just how annoying Scott can be when Penelope presents an idea to keep patients happy.  She believes that if they stagger the appointments of all of the patients in the waiting room by five minutes, it will make them less cranky because they don't have to wait so long.  It's a decent idea.  But Scott arrogantly tells Dr. B. that the idea will NEVER work because it will actually lessen the quality of care that they receive, which causes Dr. B. to take Scott's side.  You might want to remember this scene for later.  Either way, Penelope is really annoyed, and we see her smiling so huge you'd think she was doing a commercial for Scope mouthwash.  But make no mistake...she wants to kill the Bobo.



Of course, every episode of every sitcom has some filler material in it.  This time around we have Lydia teaching Schneider how to salsa dance.  Nothing really important except for two things.  One, in her mid-80s, Rita Moreno can still slay a dance floor.  She and Todd Grinnell must have had a really good time filming this scene.  And the other is when the rest of the family arrive home, Elena screams out "We get it!  We're Cuban!"  It made me chuckle, anyway.  It then leads to a family dance party.  Again, total filler, but still somehow satisfying.

Anyway, we learn that Elena's quest to save the world from pollution didn't go as well.  As in kids were throwing hamburgers at her head the whole time.  Penelope understands her frustration and proceeds to tell her all about what Scott did - all while trying to stifle the fact that she wanted to rip out his intestines.



Elena remarks that it is sexist - which further proves the fact that she is a social justice warrior in training.  But in this case, she is one hundred per cent correct.  Though amusingly, Penelope remarks that it isn't sexist because he didn't call her a Mamita (ah, so I get the feeling that Mamita is a slang term for baby, or chick, or some other derogatory name for women).  Besides, Penelope explains that if Elena really wants an example of sexism, she needed to look at the army.  Penelope dealt with sexism all the time when she was a soldier, and eventually she proved herself by being better than the males who kept catcalling her.  While it is respectable that Penelope earned their respect, I have to actually side with Elena in that Penelope should confront Scott about his actions.

Oh, and Schneider tries to interject by talking about mansplaining, but really the only thing this serves to do is make me annoyed by Schneider.



Or maybe the annoying one is Lydia.  After everybody goes to bed, she sneaks into Elena's room and opens up a makeup case with enough cosmetics to stock the shelves at Sephora for three whole years.  Apparently Lydia has decided to give Elena an "America's Next Top Model" makeover while Elena sleeps.  Uh, yeah...that's not creepy.  That's not creepy at all.

Predictably, Elena screams and demands to know what the hell Lydia is thinking.  Truth is, if you can get over the creepiness of Lydia's actions, she actually makes a valid point.  She says that lawyers would love to wear sweat pants, but they dress in a suit because they earn respect and power.  Elena seems drawn by this argument and agrees to put on a little makeup to see if that will make a difference in how she is perceived at school.



Well, okay, she's made up to look like Kendall or Kylie Jenner.  Whatever the case, her new look gets the Abuelita Seal of Approval, although Elena looks visibly uncomfortable.  I give it ten minutes before she wipes that stuff off her face.  Elena also once again tries to convince Penelope to talk to Scott about his sexism, but Penelope thinks that if she can talk to Dr. B. instead, then maybe she can convince him to listen. 

At the office, it's not a pretty picture.  Sure enough, patients are getting cranky over having to wait for service, and this causes Lori to suggest giving the patients belly rubs to calm them down.  Ah, Lori...every sitcom has to have at least one person in it who is as dumb as a box of rocks.



Then again, maybe that person is Dr. B.  After complaining about the patients having to wait, Scott comes up with an idea to make the patients happier, and ends up reciting the SAME EXACT IDEA THAT PENELOPE SUGGESTED AT THE BEGINNING OF THE EPISODE!  I don't think Penelope is going to take that very well.



Yeah, no.



And when Dr. B. actually thanks Scott for the idea and gives him full credit, you KNOW Penelope isn't going to like that at all.



YIKES!  She literally scares me in this screengrab.  And if anyone should be scared, it should be Scott!  Completely disregarding any sort of professionalism and completely charging at him like a ram, Penelope flat out calls him sexist, which causes Scott to FINALLY shut up and Dr. B. to nearly have a nervous breakdown!

But of course, Scott DOESN'T shut up and instead shoves his foot a little further down his throat by not only claiming that he is a victim of reverse sexism, but also claiming that he is tired of picking up the slack because he doesn't think that moms are special!  Ooooh, nice knowing you, pal.



Needless to say, this amps Penelope's anger up to a thousand and despite Dr. B's misguided yet hilarious attempts to diffuse the situation, Penelope really lays into him about how moms ARE important - to which Scott replies that they are all equal and that they all make thirty bucks an hour and...



...oh.  Oh!  Penelope makes LESS than that!  And with that revelation out of the way, Penelope decides to quit her job and with that she storms off.  Wow.



Back at home, Lydia is crestfallen to learn that Elena has removed all the makeup from her face, and she demands to know why.  Elena reveals that the reason why is because she felt uncomfortable wearing it, and she felt uncomfortable with guys hitting on her.  But then Lydia takes it one step too far and tells Elena that by wearing makeup, she could look beautiful and then she would be proud to have her as a granddaughter.  Um...OUCH!

Thankfully, Elena has a little self-esteem in her to call out Lydia, telling her that she wears makeup like armour, and that Elena likes the way she looks without makeup and wishes that she could see it too.  And as Elena storms towards her room, Penelope arrives with anxiety written all over her face as she cries about quitting her job on principle and worries about how they will all have to move into the car.



But then we hear a knock on the door, and it's Dr. B. coming to see Penelope.  And judging by the interaction between Dr. B. and Lydia, I get the impression that there might be a smidgen of flirtation between the both of them which I am sure we will see more of as the series progresses.



For now, it's a real conversation about how Penelope feels upset that Dr. B. would give Scott more money than her, and Dr. B. explains that he felt pressured by Scott to do it (translation: he manipulated the poor doctor).  But after a really good dialogue, Dr. B. agrees to give her an eight dollar an hour raise and a couple of other perks, and this prompts Penelope to come back to work.  Now, of course, in the real world this would probably not happen so nicely, but at least Dr. B. was reminded that Penelope is an asset to the team.  And honestly, isn't that what we all want in our jobs?  To be respected as a team member?  Not all of us have that luxury.

One final moment to close off this episode - and it's probably one of the most heartwarming scenes of this whole episode.  Lydia returns to Elena's bedroom in the middle of the night to show her something.  Only instead of another makeover, Lydia shows her a make-under.  




This is the only time that Lydia has ever shown anybody her face without a hint of makeup on it.  And can I say that she still looks beautiful?  Rita Moreno holds her age very well.  Elena is also very impressed, as am I.  It's nice to know that even though Alex is her obvious favourite that Lydia holds a special place in her heart for Elena too.  I mean, for someone to see someone without makeup for the first time ever - that's love right there.  Well, at least until Elena notices Abuelita may have some mascara on which causes Lydia to scurry out of the room as the closing credits air.  But hey, what a good episode.  Talking about the wage inequality between men and women has been an ongoing issue for years - even dating back to when the original "One Day at a Time" aired in the 1970s.  I'm glad to see that Norman Lear and company have made it an issue for the new series. 

Coming up next week, Penelope decides to skip church - and Lydia is NOT amused.

Before I go though, have a laugh with some of the more memorable lines from this episode!  Enjoy!


ELENA:  You know, I know bobo is an insult, but it sounds adorable.  Like he's a little clown.
PENELOPE:  Oh, yes, he is a clown.  And like every other clown, I want to punch him in the face.

SCHNEIDER:  Sorry, I cut you off.  Talk as long as you want.  Not that you need my permission.  I'm just...you know what?  I'd like to hear from the ladies.  Women.  Females.  You guys...Not guys, humans.
LYDIA: (to Elena) Wow, you broke Schneider.

DR. B.:  Guys, guys!  Let's keep our anger where it belongs, with the patients!

PENELOPE:  Mami...I quit my job.
LYDIA:  I don't understand.  The job ended?
PENELOPE:  No, it didn't end.
LYDIA:  Did your boss die?
PENELOPE:  No!
LYDIA:  Was there a fire?  Scandal?  Was he a sex offender and they closed down the business because of the shame?
PENELOPE:  No!
LYDIA:  I have just said all the reasons!
PENELOPE:  I quit my job because I found out that comierda Scott makes more than I do, and he's only been there one month.

LYDIA:  Oh, so you quit because of principles.  ARE YOU CRAZY?!?

Wednesday, January 31, 2018

#LetsTalk

January is almost over, and with that comes an entry that will be quite personal.  It's related to an event that is happening in my home country of Canada, and I encourage all of you to take part in it...even if you aren't Canadian.  I know some of you want me to just do the pop culture thing, and I promise I will go back to that soon.  But this is something that I want to talk about, and I hope you'll stick around to read it.



It's an event known as Bell's Let's Talk Day.  The telephone company Bell has been raising awareness for mental illness for a few years now, and on the last Wednesday of the month of January, the company will donate five cents for every person who uses the "Let's Talk" filter on their profile pages on social media, or if they use the phrase #LetsTalk on Twitter.

(Actually, I'm not sure if that last part is right, but I know the first part is true.)

The money goes towards charities that help raise awareness for mental health issues and supports crisis lines and crisis centres that are equipped to help people of all ages deal with mental illness.



Now the purpose of this exercise is to not only raise awareness for mental illness, but it is also designed to end the stigma that surrounds it.  Anybody can be afflicted with mental illness.  Any skin colour.  Any profession.  Any age.  Any financial bracket.  It can strike without warning, and often times it can take months or even years for a proper diagnosis to be found. 

The best way to end that stigma is to talk about it.  Sharing your stories.  Telling people your thoughts.  Educating people on the subject of mental illness.  So, I thought that for today, I would talk about my own struggles with mental illness.

I suppose in my case, the one mental illness that I deal with constantly is depression.  The difference is that I have my doubts that it is caused by a chemical imbalance or anything like that (though it could very well be).  Mine is caused by unresolved feelings of anger that I have struggled with for years caused by a bunch of people who caused me more harm than good.

And how I've struggled with trying to find a place in my heart for forgiveness.

I guess I've talked about how I was bullied throughout my school years.  Mostly it was isolation from my peers, but there was some verbal abuse and a little physical abuse as well from my classmates.  It was a traumatic experience that I don't want to go through again, but ultimately I have to show my gratitude towards them for making me less likely to take insults and more likely to stand up for what I believe in.  I forgive you, but I don't want an invite to any reunions or anything like that.  I don't need your approval any longer.  Besides.  In the grand scheme of things, you boys and girls were far from being the main problem.  You were ultimately just a side effect of what the real issue was.  In a way, you guys were used too, and I suppose I can't blame you for the way you turned out based on that.

No, I actually blame the people who were supposed to protect me from your teasing and your bullying, and instead made the situation much worse.  And I actually blame them for the reason that I have such mental anguish today.



I suffer from depression, social anxiety and low self-worth.  And I feel that those thoughts were instigated and brought upon by a school board and several teachers who felt it was their mission to "fix me".  In their mind, their sole purpose in life was like the Coldplay song "Fix You".  But instead of fixing me, they ended up breaking me.

It wasn't easy going to a school where you were so incredibly different from all of the other kids.  Whereas everybody else seemed normal, I stood out for what seemed like all the wrong reasons.  I had poor motor skills, I was startled by loud noises, and I walked on my tiptoes because the arches in my feet didn't develop fully. 

Now, if I was in school today, it actually might not have been so bad, as schools today seem to figure out what difficulties children might have right off the bat.  But back in the 1980s, tests like these did not happen.  It was almost as if you were grouped into two different categories.  Normal and abnormal.  And lucky for me, the school saw me as having the abnormal brain in the bunch.

I stood out all right.  I was different.  And according to them, being different was bad.

I have told this story before, but when I was a young child, I walked on my tiptoes.  As I said before, my arches in my feet didn't fully develop all the way and caused me incredible pain when I tried to walk flat-footed.  But did the school listen?  No.  Instead they took me out of class, isolated myself from my peers for a full period, and made me walk around the school with books on my head to try and correct my walking style.  They even arranged for me to go to the nearest children's hospital to see if they could correct my walking style so that I could walk like everyone else.  Because apparently, walking on my tiptoes was considered an embarrassment to everybody around me.

I guess I can sort of understand why I became so far removed from my classmates.  It was bad enough growing up in a family that didn't have anybody remotely close to my age in it, but to further isolate me from my classmates because I didn't walk properly, or because I couldn't hold a pair of scissors correctly, or because I had a hard time with writing in cursive.  I guess that's why I can find it in my heart to forgive my classmates because it wasn't their fault that I saw myself as broken.  No, I actually think that the adults at that school - the ones who were supposed to educate me and build me up as a person actually caused me so much emotional stress and turmoil that I feel as though I slipped through the cracks. 

What I don't understand is why the various teachers, principals, and school board members decided to focus only on the bad things?  Why didn't they focus on the fact that I was creative, intelligent, and put forth the effort in trying to be a better person?  Why was it that how I looked and how I acted was placed at higher value than my ability to learn the material presented to me in class?  I don't have any answers for that now, and honestly as time passes by, I don't think that I will ever get those answers.

What I do know was that those experiences helped build the shaky foundation of the person that I am now.  And while I have done a lot of good things in my life, I still have feelings of how no matter what I do, it will never be good enough.  And that is largely based on how badly I was treated when I was a student.

Experiences that lead to me hating myself because I could not measure up to people around me.  Experiences that cause me to over-analyze people because I feel as though they are secretly judging me.  Experiences that actually had me thinking about taking my own life when I was sixteen years old.

Yeah.  I said it.  I plotted my own suicide attempt when I was sixteen.  Because of a bunch of people who thought they knew what was best for me, but ultimately broke me as a person.



It was like my emotional stability was like a set of porcelain tea cups on a table.  The educators within the school system kept poking the tea cups closer and closer to the edge until all of them shattered on the ground, one by one.  And instead of helping me clean up the mess, they abandoned me and left me to pick up the pieces by myself.  Anyone who has ever tried to glue a teacup back together again knows how frustrating it can be.  You try to make it look like it was, but it never will be again.  There are cracks that will forever be there.  In some cases, fragments of the teacups will be gone forever never to be replaced.

Well, that's exactly how mental illness works.  You can do whatever you can to grab the pieces of the broken teacup and glue them together to make it look as it did before it was broken, but it will always be there. 

Now everybody's case will be different.  Some people are born with mental illness.  In other cases, they are a side effect from traumatic experiences that we experience (examples including post traumatic stress disorder, body dysmorphia, or even social anxiety).  But it is a very serious problem for millions of people around the world.  And in a lot of cases, most people don't seek help for it because society makes them feel ashamed to.  In a world where men are considered "weak" for talking about their problems, it is especially hard for us to admit that we might be broken and that we might need some outside help in order to help heal us. 

Not fix us.  Heal us.  And yes, there is a difference.

One of the best ways to start the process of healing is by talking about mental illness.  It isn't a sign of weakness.  It isn't a crutch.  It is an illness.  And millions of people have their own struggles with it.  They should not be made fun of.  They should not be abandoned.  They should not be isolated. 

They deserve kindness.  Compassion.  Understanding. 

The reason I'm sharing my story is because my job of healing is not quite done yet.  I still have struggles with feeling as though I am not good enough to do the things that others take for granted.  I still have massive self-doubt issues.  My social anxiety flares to a point where one day I want to socialize with people, and the next I want to crawl into bed and stay there all day watching Netflix.  And as far as the depression goes, it too ebbs and flows. 

By talking about it here, I realize that I still have a lot of work to do.  And I realize that the stigma that comes from admitting that you have a problem is firmly in place in my mind - because years ago I was taught by a bunch of people that being different was bad.

I still have some anger from that period that I have to work out.  And as far as forgiveness goes, while I have come to terms with my classmates being rude and have come to understand why it happened and how badly they treated me...I'm nowhere near ready to bestow the magic wand of forgiveness towards the school system that I feel failed me.  I don't know if I am ever going to be truly ready for that moment.  I guess I feel this way because kids are going to be more honest than anybody in the world and they can say and do really cruel things - but on that token I know that they are too young to understand how hurtful they could be. 

But when it comes to the adults in my life during my school years, they WERE old enough to know better.  They did the wrong thing believing it was right, were proven wrong, and still went ahead and did it anyway.  They were responsible for isolating me from the world because I was different.  They were responsible for making me feel like I was worthless because I wasn't the perfect Stepford student in their perfect school.  They were responsible for making me broken in the first place, and I don't have it in my heart to forgive any of them for that. 

But maybe by talking about it.  Maybe by sharing my story and my struggles...maybe that's the beginning of my healing process.



It's January 31.  Let's talk.

Friday, January 26, 2018

Recapping One Day at at Time - Episode 1 - This Is It



This is it!  This is life, the one you get, so go and have a ball!

That is the first line of the theme song for the television series "One Day at a Time", and it will be the song that you will hear for the next twenty-six weeks as I will be recapping the new reboot of the 1975 television series "One Day at a Time". 

I think I'm going to call this feature..."Recapping...One Day at a Time".  Not exactly original or creative, but it tells you what to expect!

I'll be recapping Season 1 (which debuted January 2017) and Season 2 (which debuts TODAY) in this feature, and it will take me until July 2018.  And if the show happens to be picked up for a third season, I'll resume with my recaps then.

So, for those of you who may not have seen the series, the original was created by Norman Lear (who is the executive producer of the first season - at the age of 95!)  It was a show about a single mother of two trying to balance being a mother with finding out who she is.  The original series starred the late Bonnie Franklin, the late Pat Harrington, Mackenzie Phillips, and Valerie Bertinelli (and many other cast members throughout its nine season run).

This time around, the show is kind of the same concept but with some major changes to the presentation.



The first change to be aware of is that instead of the family being Caucasian, we have a Cuban-American family headed by nurse Penelope Alvarez (Justina Machado).  And we learn quite a lot of information from the first scene leading into Episode 1 - This Is It.  As Penelope chats and examines her patient, they have a conversation and the focus turns to the photo on Penelope's clipboard.  The patient - who is clearly cast to be as annoying as possible - asks if Penelope was dressed up for Halloween. 

No, it turns out that Penelope was a war veteran who served in Afghanistan as a war medic.  We also learn that she is divorced from her husband and that she is a single mom of two children (who we'll meet later).  It's an impressive story and I already have mad respect for Penelope as a character...but when the patient tries to hit on Penelope, I just want him to disappear.



Thankfully, we get a reprieve when we see Penelope arrive home from work with her hands filled with packages.  We also learn another fact about Penelope in that while she was serving in Afghanistan she suffered a serious shoulder injury that likely resulted in her being discharged from the armed forces.  Want to know how I know that?  She's trying (and failing) to get the attention of her youngest child Alex (Marcel Ruiz).  There's not a lot to say about Alex except that he appears to be portrayed as a typical millennial boy - eyes wrapped in his laptop and social media.



We're also quickly introduced to Penelope's mother, Lydia (Rita Moreno).  And, can I just say that Rita Moreno looks absolutely fantastic?  Would you believe that when she was filming this season, she was 84 years old?!?  Now at 86, she shows no sign of slowing down.  Good for her.  And, to keep with the tradition of her being a Cuban immigrant, Moreno talks in a thick Cuban accent which as you'll find as you watch the show can lead to some hilarious jokes!



Anyway, Lydia announces that they have a MAJOR problem.  As Penelope is unpacking the groceries she purchased, she announces that her daughter Elena (Isabella Gomez) does NOT want a quinces.  Which is short for quinceanera - a fifteenth birthday party that sort of works the same way as a Jewish bar mitzvah...only for fifteen year old girls.  It's a Latino tradition that is supposed to symbolize the moment in which a girl becomes a woman.  But Elena is against the idea of a quinces because this modern girl sees it as an ancient barbaric tradition.  Yeah, Elena is going to be a polarizing character, I'm sure.



Meanwhile, Alex is doing some back to school shopping, and on his list is a pair of sneakers.  Well, actually, he wants FIVE pairs of sneakers.  Yeah, Alex seems to think that he will really turn heads if he wears a different pair of sneakers for each school day.  Of course with Alex lacking a part-time job of any sort, Penelope puts a freeze on her credit card and limits Alex to one pair of sneakers that cost under $40.  Actually, with sales on Amazon and online shoe stores, it's a fairly reasonable request.  Of course, this prompts Alex to exclaim how poor they are despite having a television, laptop, and a house over their heads.  Wow, I feel sorry for Penelope having a couple of brats for kids. 



To make matters worse for Penelope, Lydia has already fed the kids (even though Penelope insisted on cooking up the already reduced slab of beef that she purchased at the store), and the water faucet is broken.  Fear not, Lydia exclaims.  Schneider will be over tomorrow to fix it.  And yes, there is a handyman superintendent named Schneider in this incarnation of "One Day at a Time" as well - though he's a LOT different from Pat Harrington's version!  We'll meet him a little later.



For now, Penelope's mother has informed her that there is still some leftovers if she would rather eat those instead of the reduced meat, but Penelope is determined to make a meal out of it and actually tells her to go away.  This prompts a hilarious little temper tantrum from Lydia cursing and swearing in Spanish until she angrily closes her curtain!   But of course, Penelope caves and starts eating Lydia's meal to which Lydia responds with an emphatic "You're welcome!"



The next scene introduces us to Schneider (Todd Grinnell), who as I mentioned is nothing like the original Schneider aside from the thick mustache (which is revealed to be fake).  This Schneider is 40, single, a trust fund baby, and a recovering alcoholic.  We learn this from a conversation between Penelope and Schneider about how the Alvarez family moved in on the same day Schneider received his 5-year sobriety chip.  And hilariously, Lydia baked him a rum cake in celebration!  Ha!  At least Schneider enjoyed watching them eat it!



The talk also shifts to Penelope and how her boss, Dr. Berkowitz (who we'll meet later) has prescribed her some anti-depressants.  Since coming home from the war, Penelope has dealt with depression and mood swings, and while the doctor thinks that they will make her feel better, Penelope is reluctant to take them.  I get the feeling that this will be an ongoing storyline for the remainder of season one at least.

Meanwhile, Lydia and Elena are still arguing over the fact that Elena does not want to have a quinces, and to try and prove her point, Lydia shows Elena photos of Penelope's quinces.



Um, yeah, if those photos are any indication, I'm kind of seeing why Elena does NOT want one!  Though to be fair, those photos were made to simulate 1986 - and pretty much everybody who was around in that time period looked hideous.

At this point, Penelope has had enough of this and she decides that the best way to get all of their points across is for Elena and Penelope to role play swapping roles.  Elena will play the role of Penelope and Penelope will play Elena.  Schneider, Alex, and Lydia are the "jury" so to speak, and they will decide which side presented their case better.



Elena goes first.  She uses Penelope's mannerisms perfectly to imitate her.  According to Elena's point of view, she thinks Penelope wants to have the quinces to celebrate Elena's life and how it is like a global village coming together to mark the occasion in which Elena becomes a woman.



Penelope borrows Elena's glasses and hat and talks in a bit of a valley girl accent and whines about how she doesn't think it's fair that they need the validation of all of her relatives to prove that she's a woman.  Problem is that Penelope goes too far with the acting and it earns no love from the jury.  Remind me at the end of this to post some of the most hilarious lines from this episode.  I won't post them all because I don't want to spoil it, but the writing is exceptional!

Then as if Penelope hamming it up wasn't bad enough, Elena takes the overdramatics up to a hundred and starts imitating Lydia!  Which actually offends Lydia because she claims she doesn't talk with an accent!!!  Ha!



The rest of the exercise seems to go without incident, and Elena actually makes some good points from Penelope's point of view about why Elena has to have a quinces - which actually is the very reason why Penelope suggested the role playing exercise...so she could set Elena up to trick her into having a quinces!  And this causes Elena to go into a rant in Spanish, storm out of the room and slam the door to her bedroom.  Hmmm...I'm guessing she gets that quirk from Lydia!



The next day at Dr. Berkowitz's office, we see Penelope having a rough day.  She talks to Dr. Berkowitz (Stephen Tobolowsky) about how Elena is giving her a hard time about the quinces and she goes into how difficult life is.  Dr. Berkowitz asks her if she has taken the anti-depressants he prescribed for her, and she admits that she threw them in the trash.  The doctor then asks Penelope if he prescribed her heart medication if she would refuse to take them.  Penelope admits that she still wouldn't take them!  At least she's honest.



One person that isn't honest is Alex.  You see, during this conversation, Penelope's phone starts beeping and she explains that whenever Alex made a purchase online she gets a signal.  But after she hears five beeps, Dr. Berkowitz openly wonders how many feet her son has!  Either way, it's going to be a rather heated fight!



Sure enough, Penelope opens the door carrying the five pairs of shoes and Lydia and Schneider watch as Alex tries to explain why he did what he did.  He apparently has the plan that he won't have to pay for any of the sneakers because he plans on wearing them once or twice, sending them back afterwards, and getting the money back.  Rinse, lather, repeat.  Of course, Penelope thinks that it is a stupid idea because he'll never be able to keep the shoes clean.



Oh wait.  Alex has fake soles on his shoes.  He's thought ahead!  Schneider even suggests that he go on "Shark Tank"!  Pretty sure that is NOT helping, Schneider!

Then Alex makes the defense that because his father is giving them child support, there is extra money lying around - or "double money" as he refers to it which REALLY sets Penelope off!  She explains that while he does offer child support, SHE is the one that makes all the money decisions.  And as a result of Alex's dishonesty, she makes him send all the shoes back and is forcing him to wear Elena's pink sparkly sneakers with the multicultural princesses on them!  YIKES!



As Alex storms off, Elena hands Penelope a social studies test that she scored a "D" in and it's become painfully obvious that she is purposely getting bad grades so they will prevent her from having a quinces.  To which Penelope gets even more angry and informs her how selfish she is because she works her butt off to send both her and Alex to a private school and she tells her to go to her room because she can't stand to look at her.



Penelope then grabs the bottle of anti-depressants that Dr. Berkowitz has prescribed her which completely shocks and disturbs Lydia.  Penelope argues that she is too stressed and she needs them, which causes Lydia to exclaim that she needs her husband back home.



I won't go into the full conversation here, but this prompts Penelope to have a little breakdown about how hard it has been raising two kids on her own, and how she hasn't slept much since Victor left because he used to spoon her to sleep and how sometimes she just wants someone to hold her and say "I got you".  This prompts Lydia to hug her even though Penelope really meant it from a man.  But still, it is a great moment for the first episode.  It really shows the turmoil that some war veterans have dealt with since returning home, and how sometimes what they see has scarred them.  Penelope isn't the same woman she used to be and she is forever changed, and it's hard for her to jump back into the life she once knew.  As much of a cliche as it is, she truly is taking life one day at a time.



Fortunately, Penelope comes back to her senses and talks to Alex about the shoe thing.  Because let's face it.  These shoes are hideous.



Penelope discovers that of all the shoes that he ordered, there was one pair that matched the under forty buck criteria that Penelope issued, and so she lets him keep that pair.  She also informs Alex that he doesn't have to feel pressured to be the man of the house and that he just needs to be a twelve-year-old boy.



And when it comes time to talk to Elena, Penelope decides that if Elena doesn't want a quinces, she doesn't have to have one.  But when Penelope starts talking about how it would have been nice to have thrown her the biggest quinces in the world so she could prove to everybody that a single mom could succeed in planning the perfect quinceanera for her daughter, Elena changes her mind and decides she wants a quinces after all!  All she needed was a good reason to do it, and that was it!  Now, why didn't Penelope just do this at the beginning and be done with it!

And so our first episode ends with Penelope struggling to get to sleep and Lydia entering the bedroom, crawling into the bed and telling her that she is going to spoon her!  What starts off as a crazy moment ends up being rather sweet. 



Wow, the first episode had a lot going for it.  It is definitely a different show from the original series, but it still has a lot of laugh out loud moments.  And it seems to be referencing a lot of current events from the late 2010s, which is also a plus.  I'm interested in seeing how the rest of the series pans out.

Now, let's see some of the funniest lines from the episode.  I've selected four different ones.  Hope you enjoy!

ELENA:  I researched the history of quinceaneras and found that they are totally misogynistic.
LYDIA:  She's been reading again!  Why do you let her read?
PENELOPE:  I know, Mami, I let her do math too!  I'm a monster!

ELENA:  I don't want to be paraded around in front of the men of the village like a piece of property to be traded for two cows and a goat!
LYDIA:  Someone thinks they're worth a lot!

ELENA:  (as Penelope) You even refused to take any pictures with Santa because your Abuelita wouldn't admit that Christmas is a pagan ritual.
LYDIA:  Jesus and Santa were cousins.  Everybody knows this.

ALEX:  I can explain.
PENELOPE:  Really?  You can explain how one pair of sneakers magically became five?  Because that is some Jesus crap right there.

Coming up next Friday, we have a look at the role of sexism in the workplace...and how it might derail Penelope's life!