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Wednesday, March 07, 2018

English Words That Make Me Want To Burn Webster's Dictionary

Being someone who loves words and phrases and clauses, I suppose it only comes natural to me that I would gravitate towards writing as a hobby.

I'd really like to make it my source of sole income...but that's another story altogether.

With hundreds of thousands of words in the English language, there's no shortage of synonyms, homonyms, and antonyms to choose from.  And I have to say that in the case of 99.9% of all the words that exist in my vocabulary, I love using them whenever the opportunity presents itself.

(Though admittedly using the word antidisestablishmentarianism is a challenge in standard conversation.)

But much like any language in the world, there are some words that absolutely make me cringe.  And whenever possible, I try to avoid using them.  It doesn't always work that way - mainly because of the fact that I'll be devoting part of this blog to talking about the words of the English language that I don't like.

In some cases, it's because it's a tongue twister to say.  In some, it's because I hate how the word is used in (and out) of context, and in my most hated word in the English language...well, I'll wait for that one when I get to it.

And I suppose it goes without saying that derogatory, racist, sexist, and homophobic words are excluded from this list because they are ugly enough without me having to talk about them.  Which I won't do because I don't like posting garbage like that in this space.

So, what words do I find myself cringing at?  Here's my list of nominees.



BAE

Seriously, if you're calling your sweetheart "bae", you need to find a better word.  In all seriousness, bae is actually an acronym for "before anything else", but most people who seem to be under the age of 20 use it to describe their significant other - which I find cringeworthy.  Besides, when you translate it into Dutch, it's reportedly means the same as a poop emoji.  Yeah, there's a lovely sentiment to share with the person you love.



SNOWFLAKE

You know what?  I don't have an issue with the word snowflake in the traditional sense.  After all, snowflakes are beautiful and unique.  But when you have people who use the word to describe a person who doesn't agree with their political points of view, it's become incredibly overused, and frankly, it's made me cringe whenever I see the word.

Oh, and one more note.  Even though it seems to be mostly conservatives that use this term to describe liberals, I find that there are just as many snowflake conservatives as well.  Tomi Lahren, I'm looking at you.



MOIST

Seriously, is there ANYONE who likes this word?  It's very oddly spelled, it doesn't roll off the tongue very well, and it makes everything associated with it sound dirty.  Even SuperMoist cake mix.  And everyone knows that cake is the most heavenly dessert ever created.

Well, at least I'd like to think so.



ACTUALLY

Okay, so I have a love-hate relationship with the word "actually".  It's a word that I find myself using way more than I should, and it has taken a conscious effort on my part to not use it.  It has sometimes failed on my regard, and I'm sure that if you look through the archives of this blog, you'll see me use that word a lot in my early entries.  But then I think of how annoyed I get when I hear people use it in conversation and how often other writers use it in their articles and it's enough of a deterrent to not use the word again.



And if that doesn't work, there's this clip from "America's Next Top Model".

And now, the one word that I hate the most.  More than bae, snowflake, moist, and actually.  And it's a word that many probably might be surprised to learn that I hate so much.  But here's my least favourite word of all.
SYSTEM

I hate the system.



No, not THAT System.  I forgot how great of a tune "Don't Disturb This Groove" is!  That System can stay.

But when it comes to the word system, I hate it.  Not because of the word itself, but because of the way people use the word.

When something goes wrong in a person's life, they blame the system.  When a child is bullied and nothing ever gets done about it, they blame the system.  When paperwork gets lost at the hospital, or at a law office, or at a school, they blame the system.



To me, the word "system" is another word for scapegoat.  And to me, the word system is a convenient way for people to shirk personal responsibilities onto someone or something else to avoid taking on the challenge of fixing things or making life easier for everyone else.

I think it's gotten way too easy for politicians, CEO's, school board heads, insurance companies, and anyone else who likes to blame the system for their own shortcomings.  I think that in a lot of cases, the so-called "systems" get broken because of people within them abusing their power and/or authority and how they get away with it because nobody has the cojones to challenge them.  Whenever people cite the system as the reason why they can't...I want to scream at them to stop using the word system and to start using words like "proactive" and "responsibility".

Maybe then, the word system won't have such a dark meaning behind it.  And maybe then I won't dislike the word so much.

But again.  Those are merely my thoughts on the matter.  I want to hear from you.  What words make you want to burn your dictionaries?  Let me have them in the comments section!

Friday, March 02, 2018

Recapping One Day at a Time - Episode 5 - Strays

Well, I'm finally back after a couple of weeks of hiatus.  It was totally unplanned, of course.  I got hit hard with that cold/flu bug that has been going around and it knocked me off my feet.  I actually took my first sick day in two and a half years!  I'm still not 100% over it, as I have a wicked cough that refuses to die no matter how many cough drops I choke down.

So, as a result, I'm posting Episode 5 of Recapping One Day at a Time a week late.  I may end up doing two of these next week as I have some vacation time coming up to catch up.  We'll see what happens with that when it gets here.  For now, let's jump right in with today's episode entitled "Strays".  And, no...there are no cats or dogs in this one.



But we do see Elena and Carmen on the Alvarez family sofa draped in what appears to be a Snuggie for two.  Ah...remember the Snuggie?  I never owned one, but they seemed to be all the rage five years ago.  Penelope comes in and sees both of them huddled on the sofa and Elena explains that they are just taking a break from their big immigration project.  It appears as though Carmen is staying for dinner, as Lydia is already preparing the meal.  Oh, and Schneider is around as well and he too is staying which prompts Penelope to make the remark about how they are taking strays in.  Ah, so there's the origin of the title, though I feel there is more to it than that.



Carmen and Elena then ask if Carmen can sleep overnight, and when Elena remarks that Carmen just shares a bed with her, it causes Lydia to comment on how weird it is.  Now, having seen the season in advance, I can tell you that there is a little bit of foreshadowing to come with this little scene, but I will not spoil it for you yet.  Either way, Penelope doesn't see anything wrong with it.



Besides, when your landlord pops out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a towel, suffice to say that your 14-year-old daughter sharing a room with her best friend seems a little less bizarre.  Just putting it out there.

Anyway, after the rousing chorus sung by Gloria Estefan, we are at Penelope's workplace where it's Dr. B.'s birthday!  How exciting!  It seems as though Penelope has everything planned.  With assistance from Lori and Scott, they will have a birthday celebration that Dr. B. will never forget.



Only Lori forgot to pick up the balloons.  And Scott forgot to pick up the cake.  And poor Penelope forgot to finish hanging up the banner because when Dr. B. comes in, the banner reads "Y BIRTHDAY".  Given that poor Dr. B. has not been having a great birthday (it seems that everyone forgot it including his daughter who just called him for his Netflix password which ironically enough are the numbers that form his date of birth), it's just one more candle that refuses to be lit.  Of course, Penelope feels so bad that she decides that she will throw a birthday party for Dr. B. at her place tonight.  Hmmm...I wonder how this will effect the plans that Elena and Carmen have made for their sleepover?



Back at the apartment, Penelope and Lydia are hastily putting together a birthday party for Dr. B.  Lydia is making dinner and the birthday cake, while Penelope is putting out paper plates that read out "It's a Boy".  Yeah, I can see that they wasted no time in ironing out every detail. 



Another side plot of the episode is that Alex is selling chocolate bars for the school fundraising drive, and initially Penelope is thinking that having Alex sell them at the party is tacky...until she realizes that the party guests include Scott and Lori and tells Alex to strike while the iron is hot!  Ah, what the heck...anything to help the school get new equipment, right?



It also appears as though the sleepover is off, at least as far as Penelope is concerned.  And while Carmen seems okay with it, Elena is furious and actually backtalks Penelope.  Oh, that's not going to fly. 



Sure enough, Penelope essentially tells Elena to lose the attitude and to be on her best behaviour for Dr. B.'s party where she is expected to stay for the whole party and where she will be expected to be enjoying herself.  So, Elena and Carmen bid each other farewell with a giant hug leaving Penelope looking very confused.  I have to agree.  I mean, it's like they're hugging as if they will never see each other again.  I wonder why?



Oh, and Schneider brings over a centerpiece that looks as if it was stolen from a gravesite.  Yeah, nothing says happy birthday quite like a floral arrangement symbolizing death.  Though, in real life, Stephen Tobolowsky is 66 years old, so I'd say he's holding his age quite nicely.



Dr. B. has arrived for his party along with Lori and Scott, and as Dr. B. explains, they are his friends for the evening as he picked them up and they have no way to get back home again.  Yeah, guilt them into coming.  That's a great way to say happy birthday.  It appears as though this is the first time that Dr. B. at least has met Lydia as she appears to be flirting with him a bit.  Though the actual conversation that they have is filled with a lot of laughs and I will recap it at the end of this entry in my best lines section because it really is hilarious.  But we also learn that Dr. B.'s real name is Leslie Berkowitz.  I'll still refer to him as Dr. B. though, as it's easier to type.



Alex tries to sell chocolate bars to the good doctor, but somehow he's not interested.  And Penelope is trying to get Elena to be more warm and more delightful towards Dr. B., but let's face it.  Elena's fourteen.  And I know when I was fourteen, I wasn't exactly a ray of sunshine - especially when I didn't get my own way!  At least I can admit to that now!



Despite Elena's bad attitude, the party does seem to be going off without a hitch.  Everyone is having a delightful time as Dr. B. tells them all a personal story about how he mistook a urine sample for apple juice.  And as I try to mentally scrub the image of Dr. B. swigging down a hot glass of pee from my brain, I try to look at the screen for something else to happen.



Oh, a drunken Lori trying to hit on Schneider.  Yeah, you know what.  Let's go with that.  At least Lori agrees to buy five chocolate bars from Alex during this whole exchange.  So, at least Alex is doing well.  You know, come to think of it, between Alex, Schneider, Scott, and Dr. B., Alex may very well have the highest IQ of them all!



When it comes time to serve the cake, another hilarious scene (which I will definitely recap in the best lines section of the blog) occurs when Lydia starts singing "Happy Birthday" to Dr. B. in the style of Marilyn Monroe.  Between Lydia's diva attitude where only she sings, her thick accent, and the goofy grin on Dr. B.'s face, it's a very funny part of the episode.  There are quite a lot of laugh out loud moments in this whole episode.



Such as the moment in which Penelope goes into the kitchen and we see that Carmen is basically hanging outside on the fire escape!  I'm guessing that Elena is going to be in a bit of trouble if anyone points it out.



Oh, good old drunken Lori.  You can always count on her to announce everything - much to Elena's chagrin.



So once Penelope catches Carmen outside, she drags Elena away from the table and proceeds to yell at her for disobeying her and now orders Elena to tell Carmen to leave.  Elena insists that there is no way she can do that, but Penelope tells her that she has no choice.  After the party is over, Elena has to force Carmen to go back home.  You know, Elena seems awfully defensive about this - especially when she tells Penelope that she really has to have Carmen stay so that they can work on their immigration project.  Unless the project is worth 95% of the final grade, I don't understand why Elena is so anal about it.  Oh, but we will find out very shortly.  I'd say within the next seven minutes, anyway.



Anyway, when Penelope explains what has been going on, it actually triggers a discussion on immigration policies, and it is here that Schneider drops a bit of a bombshell.  He's actually an illegal immigrant!  Okay, so technically he came to the country from Canada on a student visa, but still...he never really went through the channels to become a proper American citizen.  I don't know.  Given how inept Schneider can be, I should be offended that he's written as being Canadian (especially with the stereotypical jokes that Norman Lear has slipped in at Canada's expense).  But I love Norman Lear so much that I will totally let it slide.  Besides, Todd Grinnell did a great job with Schneider 2.0.



I also like the fact that the episode also features differing points of view without people getting overly nasty with each other.  Scott, for instance, is all for immigration as long as it is done legally - which I completely agree with him on that point.  But then he goes into his typical snake oil persona and adds that the country is too full as it is, and therefore all the undocumented people should be forced out of the country.  Penelope, on the other hand, argues that for some of the illegal immigrants, they fled situations that were beyond their control (war, for instance), and they wanted to have the chance to have the life that they always dreamed of for themselves and their families.  It's a passionate argument that seems to get everyone's attention...especially Elena's.  In fact, it prompts Elena to want to speak to her mother in private.  It is here that we get the major bombshell of the episode.  The one which explains the title of the episode - Strays.  It seems as though the reason why Elena was so defensive about Carmen is because Carmen doesn't have a home to go to any longer.  Her parents have been deported!  Now this explains a lot.  It explains why Carmen has been around so much, and why Elena is so protective of her.  Penelope realizes the situation is serious, and has to come up with a solution, but before she does that, she must find a way to end the party.



Well, I suppose Lori passing out on Schneider's lap is a good excuse. 



After the guests have all left (and after Lori threw up in the hallway), Penelope and Lydia talk to Carmen and Elena about what happened.  The story goes that Carmen's parents crossed the border into the United States from Mexico before Carmen was born - therefore, Carmen is an American citizen, but her parents were not.  Carmen's father got sick, and they were on their way to meet up with a doctor who treated undocumented residents.  But on their way to the clinic, they were caught, detained, and deported back to Mexico.  Carmen's been on her own since, and Elena has been using an immigration project to keep Carmen at their place until they figure out what to do.  The charade has been going for two weeks, and I think to myself...wow.  The truth is that this is a real issue that is facing thousands of people in the United States, if not millions.  Many people are so desperate to try and better their lives and get new opportunities that they will do whatever it takes to make it happen, even though the methods might not be the proper way.  Of course, we know that the proper way can take years to achieve, and sorry to say that with the current administration in the White House, a lot of families are being split up because of this.  And poor Carmen is an innocent victim of this.

Now, Carmen does have a way out.  She does have a brother who is also American-born, and Carmen can stay with him.  The problem is that he lives in Austin, Texas - which is halfway across the country from Echo Park, California.  Which essentially means that Carmen and Elena will have no choice but to say goodbye to each other.  As much as it pains Elena, Penelope does convince Carmen to make the right choice and move to Texas.



Elena is very upset about this, and cries that she can't believe that they sent her parents home.  But Penelope corrects her and says that they sent them away.  It really is a heartbreaking episode, and there really is no happy ending to be found.  But alas, it is a subject that is a hot button issue in 2018, and kudos to Norman Lear and the cast of "One Day at a Time" for telling the story so sensitively.



It's time for Carmen to leave, and naturally, the Alvarez family is very sad to see her go.  But they provide a few going away gifts for her.  Lydia gives her a warm hug and a farewell.  Penelope gives Carmen her old duffel bag filled with some essentials and some cash to help her get started in Austin.  Aw, it's nice to see Penelope and Carmen getting so close considering that Penelope was a little afraid of her when she was first introduced in Episode 3!  Schneider is taking Carmen to the airport and he has purchased her ticket to Austin, which was very nice of him. 



And Alex gives Carmen some free chocolate - the same bars that a drunken Lori forgot to take home with her!  Well, I guess it's the thought that counts. 



So, Elena and Carmen hug each other one last time, and Elena breaks down in tears as she says goodbye to her best friend - perhaps for the last time.  And then she joins Penelope and Lydia in a final group hug, putting the close on a very good, yet very emotional episode.  If this is what it is like after the first five episodes, I can only imagine what the last eight of season one will be like!

Now comes the time for the most memorable funny quotes from the episode.  There certainly are a lot to pick from.  Here are my favourites.

SCOTT:  You know what's weird?  The bakery where you told me to pick up the cake?  I was there getting coffee this morning!
PENELOPE:  Okay, this?  This right here is why we have two stars on Yelp.

ELENA:  No, no, no.  It's not fine.  She has to stay.  This isn't fair!
PENELOPE:  She's been here most of the week.  Can she only survive in this apartment's atmosphere?

LYDIA:  Happy birthday, Dr. Berkowitz!
DR. B.:  Oh, please, call me Leslie.
LYDIA:  Why would I do that?  That is a woman's name.
DR. B:  It is also my name.
LYDIA:  Uh, that's too bad.

LYDIA:  (singing)  Happy birthday to you!
SCOTT:  Did she just say "To Jew"?
DR. B.:  Doesn't matter.  It works both ways!

SCOTT:  So, you're an illegal alien?
SCHNEIDER:  Well, we prefer undocumented.  But, yeah.  Born in the 'Couve, overstayed my student visa, forced to live in the shadows of Pepperdine University.  Took me a while to get rid of the accent, but now I can say I am sorry about that.
PENELOPE:  Wow.  You must have been very brave, Schneider, coming here with everything.  Knowing only the entire language and struggling to unlearn the metric system.
SCHNEIDER:  I sense a litre of sarcasm.

Join us next time when we see Penelope buy some new wheels...and have some fond, yet painful memories of the old ones.

Friday, February 16, 2018

Recapping One Day at a Time - Episode 4 - A Snowman's Tale

This week's episode of "One Day at a Time" is structured a little bit differently, as it uses flashbacks to tell the tale.  Thank goodness there are little subtitles telling us when the events take place, or else I would really be screwed!

This is
Episode 4: A Snowman's Tale.  And yes, there is a reason for the title which is actually quite clever - and funny!  For now, let's pop in at Echo Park, Los Angeles on a Saturday night at 6:40pm where we see Penelope applying some bright red lipstick in the back of an Uber driven by Jerry



Penelope is really excited about going on a date, and she tells Jerry all about it even though Jerry looks as if he'd rather drive off the side of the freeway.  But hey, given that this review is being posted two days after Valentine's Day, I guess it's almost perfect timing.  Penelope can't help it though.  It's her first date since splitting up with Victor and she's really nervous about it.



She's so nervous that she decides to call Lydia at home to talk about it.  Oh, dear.  But at least we're treated to a flashback to Lydia's youth.  In Havana, Cuba in 1958, we learn that a young Lydia first meets her husband-to-be, Berto.  And judging from the scenes where we see them dancing, it was love at first tango!



I should note that Berto is Penelope's father (though you probably figured that out).  And he passed away a few years prior to the show beginning which explains his absence in the series.



It appears as though Lydia's talk with Penelope gave her the courage to go ahead with the date...even though Schneider is a wreck.  Yeah, I guess it's official.  Schneider is part of the family now.



It's now 7:00 pm, and Jerry is just wanting to ditch Penelope so that he can continue on with his merry Uber way, but somehow Penelope comes to the conclusion that he wants to hear more about why she went on the date in the first place, and it is here where we get our first flashback of the episode.



Friday at 12:30pm at Dr. B.'s medical office.  Dr. B, Penelope, Lori, and Scott are having lunch and talking about their plans for the weekend.  Seems like this crew is a boring lot, as Scott plans to go bowling and Dr. B. plans on stalking innocent shoppers at Target looking for friendship.  And yes, I did just type this sentence out with a weird look on my face.

And Penelope seems to have a strange look on her face when she announces that she has no plans for the weekend, and everyone decides that she needs to start dating.  Among conversations of microwave dinners, dating apps, and Lori thinking 38 is way old (which makes ME want to give her head a shake as I'm almost THIRTY-SEVEN), Penelope is goaded into putting herself back out on the market for dating again.



Particularly after a delivery driver who has a package for Penelope arrives and gets her heart all a-flutter.  Yeah, Penelope's still got it.  Well, at least she did yesterday at 12:30pm.



It's now Saturday night at 7:18pm (wait, that conversation with Jerry took eighteen minutes - no wonder he wanted to speed away from the area), and Penelope has a new friend.   Bartender Michelle is the next one to hear all about Penelope's date, and I'm guessing based on the fact that Penelope is shooing away customers and Michelle is sucking back shots that Michelle is wanting to jump in Jerry's car so she can flee.  I think Penelope needs to chill.  And maybe take a tranquilizer dart!  But it's through her conversation with Michelle that she brings up the snowman analogy.  Penelope calls herself a snowman because right now, it's winter and everything is in place.  But when spring comes, everything melts and she'll just end up looking like a mess.  Honestly, it's much funnier when Justina Machado says it because she's just that great of an actress. 



She ends up showing Michelle a photo of her date - a policeman named Adam.  And this prompts another flashback to 5:30pm on Friday night.



You see, Penelope is freaking out about the dating app, and of all people she seeks help from, she chooses Schneider!  Oh, Penelope, why do I get the feeling this is doomed to fail before it even begins?



Turns out that Schneider is actually quite good at making dating profiles (which makes me think that he uses them quite often).  Unfortunately he's not that great at photoshopping as in his quest to cut out Elena and Alex from Penelope's photo, he adds a bicycle to the photo without removing the kids' shoes.  Personally, if a person had a bicycle with feet, I'd be intrigued to meet them, but I'm weird like that.

Of course, this causes Penelope to have a panic attack as she doesn't know what her family will think.  After all, Lydia thinks that she and Victor will get back together again, and she doesn't know how Elena and Alex will react.  Schneider simply suggests that Penelope doesn't tell them, and this prompts her to set up a date with this Adam guy for Saturday at 7:30pm.  Wow, Penelope must really want this date!



Three minutes before the date is set to start, Penelope is in the bathroom with her "new best friend" Abby, who seriously just wants Penelope to spare a square or two of toilet paper.  Okay, now Penelope is sharing her date story with women who have to pee?  Wow, I'm beginning to understand why she hasn't been on a date in twenty years!  Just saying.



But I must say, Penelope does look stunning in her jumpsuit.  She even boasts about shaving off her "lady 'stache" in preparation.  First off, kudos to the show for having a strong female lead admitting that she has lip hair.  And secondly, she must have done a great job shaving it off because I don't see any trace.

But Penelope's admiration of herself in the mirror is interrupted when Abby begins crying in the stall.  She's bummed because her boyfriend Benji won't propose to her.  Considering that her boyfriend has the same name of a dog from a 1970s film series, maybe she's better off.



Penelope starts to comfort Abby, but when she sees that Abby is a six foot tall, 22-year-old drink of water that could pass as a contestant on "America's Next Top Model", she laughs and tells her that she will get over Benji, marry rich, and be on the Real Housewives of Whatever County.  Yeah, like THAT'S something to aspire to!  But it does cheer Abby up, and Penelope tells her that she will now say the last thing her mother said to her before her date - "Good luck".



Of course, Abby is confused because she recalls Penelope telling her that she didn't tell them that she was going on a date.  Flashback to Saturday morning where Lydia informs Penelope that "red lipstick is for putas!"  Yeah, I don't need a Spanish translator to tell me what THAT word means!

It seems as though both Lydia and Elena aren't as clueless as they let on.  Thanks to Penelope's peach fuzz free lip, they know that she has plans tonight, and both have different reactions about it.  Elena is happy that Penelope is going on a date and happily reminds her that at 38, she is at her sexual peak - something that grosses both Lydia and Penelope out!  Lydia, meanwhile, is more blunt.  She calls her a hoochie!  Harsh, but keep in mind that Lydia is old-school and believes that separation is unheard of.  Ah, so my mistake, the couple is only separated and not divorced as I first thought.  See, that's why I watch every episode three times when I do these reviews.



Of course, Alex is not in the loop, and Penelope doesn't want him to know what is going on, so they play an awkward game of mannequin leaving Alex wondering what the heck is going on.  But when Alex asks Penelope for a hundred dollars, that unthaws Penelope and she tells him that there is no way that she is giving him that much money.  Alex claims that he needs it to hang out with his friends, but that's all the information he wants to share.  I'm guessing that Penelope said no. 



We also see a little bit of an interesting tradition that Lydia embarks in.  Even though Berto has been deceased for years, she still talks to him occasionally as if he is still alive.  And while Lydia is annoyed that Penelope interrupted her and "ghost Abuelito" (as Elena calls him), Lydia does relent and wishes Penelope luck on her date.  She even offers to let Penelope borrow her tube of "Scarlet Sunrise" lipstick!  But wait...I thought red lipstick was for...oh, nevermind.  We should be getting back to Penelope's date which should begin right about...now!



Well, okay, she is actually harassing who I believe is the maitre 'd of the restaurant she is supposed to meet her date at.  We don't know much about her except that her name is Kristen and that she probably wants to call up Jerry at Uber to take her anywhere but where she is right now.



Once Penelope is seated at her table, we meet another new person, Tyler.  At this point, I'm thinking this is the fifth person Penelope has encountered and she hasn't even met her date yet!  They must have had a huge budget for guest stars during the 4th episode!  Tyler also looks familiar...isn't he that guy in that insurance commercial that comes out and sees that his car has been stripped by thieves?  I swear it's the same guy.  Anyway, Penelope starts to babble on about her date, but somehow when Tyler asks her what she wants, it causes her to stop talking!  Oh, thank goodness.  Maybe now we'll finally see her on her date.



Or, maybe it's Saturday night at 10:41pm and we see Penelope arriving home AFTER her date!  I don't know about you, but I feel cheated.

And apparently so do Elena and Lydia because once Penelope reveals that the date didn't go well and that she won't be seeing him again, they are quite disappointed.  I get the feeling that there's more to the story here, but that will have to wait for now as Alex has arrived and has heard everything.



At this point, Penelope decides that it is time to have a chat with her youngest child, and she sends Lydia and Elena away so she can do exactly that.  It's interesting to note that Alex has a bandage on his face, and Alex explains that a kid pushed him in the bushes.  But that's not the REAL story here.



Of course, before we do that, Penelope tells Alex about his date - and the real reason why the date didn't work out.  As we flashback to three hours earlier, the waiter leaves, and so does Penelope!  Yep, she stands her date up!  Her explanation to Alex is simple.  Up until that moment, nobody had ever asked Penelope what she wanted.  She took advice from colleagues, family members, and five random strangers, but nobody asked her what she wanted.  Turns out that what she wanted wasn't a date at all, and she came to the conclusion that she wasn't ready to go out on a date yet.  She spent the last three hours at the movies watching a horrible chick flick.  But she did send Adam an apology text, and squared things up. 

This prompts Alex to share the truth about what happened on HIS night out.  Turns out his friends purposely abandoned him so that he could be alone with a girl named Anna thinking that they would find a love connection!  But, Alex just wanted to be friends with her.  Though he does admit that he tried shaving before he left (which explains the bandage), and Penelope seems to suspect that maybe Alex really does have some feelings for Anna (though he won't readily admit to them just yet). 



And this of course leads to a rather unusual bonding moment between Penelope and Alex in which Penelope teaches Alex how to shave.  Again, props to the "One Day at a Time" crew for showing women that it's okay if you have facial hair and to not be ashamed of it!  This show is actually quite progressive, and I think that's why I enjoy it so much.  Not because of just the shaving scene, but because of how well Penelope handled the dating nerves.  Sure, she wasn't ready yet, but she did tell Alex that one day she would be.  Thankfully, Alex offered his blessings, and I'm sure that as the show progresses, we'll see Penelope involved in more romances.  After all, 38 is when women reach their sexual peak, or so the show states.



There is one final scene which is quite touching.  We finally get to see what Lydia imagines when she pictures herself in Cuba with her beloved Berto (this time as an old man portrayed by Tony Plana).  It's very much like the scene we saw back in 1958, but with them as adults.  And let me tell you, it is clear that no matter how much time passed, and despite the fact that one of them crossed over to the other side, these are two people who will forever love each other.  It's actually a great way to end off yet another fantastic episode.

And now here are some of the funniest lines from episode four.  Enjoy!

SCOTT:  Doc, you're forgetting about the best part about being single.  Dating apps.  Oh, they're great.  There's guys like me out there.
PENELOPE:  Oh, I didn't know there was an app called 'Disappointment'.

PENELOPE:  I'm a snowman.
MICHELLE:  I don't wanna be racist, but does that mean coke dealer?

PENELOPE:  How the hell do I do this?  Do I like?  Do I swipe?  Do I put someone in my cart?
SCHNEIDER:  It's like watching a baby bird learn to fly.

PENELOPE:  I'm not looking to have sex with someone!
SCHNEIDER:  Yeah, let's not put that in your profile!  I get it, you mean a real date.
PENELOPE:  Yes, it's been 20 years.  You know, back then, online dating meant hooking up while waiting in line to buy Boyz II Men tickets.  I helped turn a couple of boys to men.

ALEX:  Anyway, stupid Finn pushed me into a bush and I got scratched.
PENELOPE:  Why do you like that kid again?  Because he seems like a ---
ALEX:  Like a dick?
PENELOPE:  Yes, but that's not okay that you said that.

Tune in next week where we tackle the subject of immigration.  I get the feeling that this might involve Elena and Carmen.  Just a hunch.

In closing, I want to pause to give a moment of silence for the seventeen people who were killed in the Florida school shooting on February 14, 2018.  Seventeen hearts for seventeen souls.

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