Fictional Jeopardy - A Jeopardy Spoof

Before I continue with this blog post, I have some breaking news.  Barack Obama has been re-elected President of the United States.  Congratulations to him on a hard-fought win.  But I also want to express kudos to challenger Mitt Romney as well, for giving it his best shot.  No matter what your political stance, both men should be congratulated.  After all, I know I would not have the guts to run for leadership of a whole country, so they already have more courage than I!

We now continue with today’s online blog edition of “Jeopardy!” already in progress.

HOST:  Welcome back to another exciting game of Jeopardy where we are already halfway through our game.  Our scores so far are...

Wendy - $4,200

Aimee - $2,800

Sean - -$400

All right, Sean...you’re in the negatives, so you had better get some money soon or else you will be ineligible to play Final Jeopardy.  The dollar value for each clue ranges in total from $400 to $2,000 in the following six categories...

ANCIENT EGYPTIAN RUGS

BY THE NUMBERS

A BRIEF HISTORY OF “MY MOTHER THE CAR”

A HISTORY OF GAME SHOWS

FORMER GAME SHOW COMPETITORS

And finally...”S” WORDS AND PHRASES

Sean, we’ll begin with you.

SEAN:  I’ll take Swords and Phrases for $400, please.

HOST:  No, no...that’s “S” words...not swords.  But no matter...here’s the clue.

This television show, which debuted in 1975, was created by Lorne Michaels and its original line-up included Jane Curtin, Dan Aykroyd, and Chevy Chase.

HOST:  Yes, Aimee?

AIMEE:  What is Saturday Night Live?

HOST:  Correct.  Keep in mind how this game is played.  I tell you the answer, and you have to tell me what the question is.  The game has remained unchanged since it debuted on NBC on March 30, 1964.  Aimee, you may choose a category now.

AIMEE:  I will choose “A History of Game Shows” for $400, please.

This creator of “Wheel of Fortune” and most recently, “Crosswords” also created”Jeopardy!”

HOST:  Aimee, again.

AIMEE:  Who is Merv Griffin?

HOST:  You got it.  Did you know that Merv Griffin actually created the show back in 1964 based on the advice of his wife who suggested that instead of a question/answer format, he should try an answer/question format instead?  He ended up selling the idea to NBC without even creating a pilot!  Aimee, go again!

AIMEE:  I’ll take “By The Numbers” for $800.

The number of people who have hosted Jeopardy!

HOST:  Wendy?

WENDY:  What is two?

HOST:  Two is correct.  The original host was Art Fleming, who hosted the show between 1964 and 1975, and again from 1978 to 1979.  Alex Trebek began hosting the program in September 1984 and continues to host it twenty-eight years later.  Wendy, you now have control of the board.

WENDY:  I’ll take “By The Numbers” for $1,200, please.

The number of “Daily Doubles” in a typical 30-minute episode of Jeopardy!

HOST:  Sean?

SEAN:  What is two?

HOST:  I’m sorry, that is incorrect.  Wendy?

WENDY:  What is three?

HOST:  Correct.  In each game of Jeopardy, there are three Daily Doubles.  In round one, there is only one to find.  In the second round, known as Double Jeopardy, there are two.  If you land on one, you will be able to wager as little as $5 up to all the winnings that you have accumulated...

(Host looks over at Sean’s dismal score)

HOST: ...although if you happen to be in the negative numbers like Sean is, you can still play a Daily Double round by wagering up to one thousand dollars on the question (two thousand for Double Jeopardy).  Wendy, you can pick again.

WENDY:  I’ll stick with “By The Numbers” for $1,600.

The consolation prize for the last place contestant in Jeopardy as of May 16, 2002.

HOST:  Sean?

SEAN:  Yeah...okay...um...I know...I know this...what...um...what is...?

HOST:  Oh, I’m sorry...time is up.  You do know that you only get five seconds to respond, right?  Yes, Wendy?

WENDY:  What is one thousand dollars?

HOST:  Correct.  The second place finisher gets $2,000.  Wendy, would you like to finish off the category?

WENDY:  Let’s do “By The Numbers” for $2,000!

The number of consecutive games that Ken Jennings ended up winning during his first run on the quiz show.

HOST:  Aimee?

AIMEE:  What is seventy-four?

HOST:  Correct!  Ken Jennings ended up winning a grand total of seventy-four games, accumulating a grand total of well over $2.5 million.  He ended up losing on his seventy-fifth appearance in 2004!  That’s impressive, don’t you think?  Anyway, Aimee, you need to choose a different category.

AIMEE:  How about former game show competitors for $1,200?

HOST:  Okay, here it is.

In February 2011, the “IBM Challenge” aired on Jeopardy, in which Watson beat out Ken Jennings and this other opponent?

HOST:  Sean?

SEAN:  Oh, geez...I know this...Um...oh...who is...Rutter...

HOST:  YES!  That’s the answer.  Brad Rutter, who ended up winning two million dollars when he won the “Ultimate Tournament of Champions” in 2005.  Sean, you now have control of the board!

SEAN:  Okay...um...how about...that S category for $2,000?

HOST:  You mean swords...ah, I mean...S Words and Phrases?

SEAN:  Yeah.

HOST:  Okay, Sean...you have just hit a Daily Double.  Unfortunately, you have minus two thousand dollars, but since this is the second round, you can wager up to two thousand dollars.

SEAN:  Well, I will go with two thousand dollars, naturally!

HOST:  Naturally.  Okay, here’s your Daily Double clue.

He played James Bond in such films as “Diamonds Are Forever”, and “Never Say Never Again”

SEAN:  Dude!  I was named after him.  It’s Sean Connery!

HOST:  In the form of a QUESTION...I won’t remind you again.

SEAN:  WHO is Sean Connery?

HOST:  You’re back at zero...and do try to remember to give your answer in the form of a question.  Select again.

SEAN:  Can I have “A History of Game Shows” for $2,000?

HOST:  Yes.

In 2001, Cheryl Farrell, Sofia Lidskog, Jimmy McGuire, and Sarah Whitcomb formed this group of people who have helped present clues just like this one to contestants.

HOST:  Yes, Wendy?

WENDY:  What is the “Clue Crew”?

HOST:  Correct.  The Clue Crew has also had Jon Cannon and Kelly Miyahara as members, and we have less than one minute to go.  Select another clue.

WENDY:  How about “S Words and Phrases” for $800?

HOST:  Okay.

In 1965, Diana Ross and the Supremes released this hit.

HOST:  Sean?

SEAN:  What is “Stop! In The Name Of Love?”

HOST:  You’re back on the board!

HOST:  And, that does it for Double Jeopardy.  Let’s take a look at the scores going into Final Jeopardy.

Wendy - $10,000

Aimee - $5,600

Sean - $800

HOST:  Okay, the Final Jeopardy category is...COMIC BOOK CHARACTERS.  Make your final wagers now.  Are we ready?  Here’s your final Jeopardy answer.

In the 1940s, this hamburger-eating, girl-hating, crown wearing character first made his presence known in Riverdale, alongside Archibald Andrews and Betty Cooper.

HOST:  Contestants, you now have thirty seconds.  Good luck.

HOST:  Sean, we’ll begin with you, since you’re in third place.  You came up with...

WHAT IS A JUGHEAD?

HOST:  Judges?  Can we accept this answer?  Yes, I’m being told we can.  The answer of course is Jughead Jones, whose own title was released under the Archie comics library in 1949.  Your wager is...$800, so you double your score to $1,600.

HOST:  Aimee, you’re next, and you went with...

WHO IS REGGIE MANTLE?

HOST:  No, I’m sorry...Reggie Mantle is a character in Archie comics, but not the one we’re looking for.  You went with...$5,599, leaving you with one dollar.  Not enough to take the lead, I’m afraid.  We now move to Wendy who has stayed in first place, but she’s shaking her head...why?

WHO IS WIMPY FROM POPEYE?

HOST:  No, Wimpy, nor Popeye ever appeared in Archie comics.  If you wagered more than $8,400, then Sean will be our winner, and you wagered...

...everything.

That means with $1,600, Sean is our new Jeopardy champion and will come back again next week!  That’s our game (and our blog entry on Jeopardy).  Good night!

FINAL SCORES:

Wendy - $0

Aimee - $1

Sean - $1,600