Hello,
everyone. This is going to be a confession that is going to be a
little bit on the brief side. Mainly because my schedule is sort of
jam-packed today, and I won't have a lot of free time today. But if
it's any sort of consolation, this confession is one that is one that
I've wanted to say for quite some time.
THURSDAY
CONFESSION #29: I have always
had great difficulty befriending people who are my own age.
Not
everyone, mind you. I have a few really close friends who are right
around my age, and we all get along wonderfully. But in general,
most of my friendships are with people who are at least ten years
older than I am.
You
know that song by Blink 182 (remember them?) that was all over the
radio in early 2000? The one with the title
“What's My Age Again?”. I find myself asking that question a lot
these days.
Physically,
I'm thirty-one years of age. Mentally, I sometimes feel like I am
sixty-five. If I'm at an outdoor gathering for families, you'd
likely see me maintaining a conversation with people who are at least
a decade older than I am. At work, I tend to have firmer friendships
with people who are older than I am (though there are some younger
co-workers who I get along with as well). In general, I tend to have
no trouble with making lasting friendships with people who are older
than I am.
But
when it comes down to having people my own age, I've always managed
to struggle. And, it's not simply because of the fact that I really
disliked school when I was a kid because I though many of the kids
were mean. I honestly don't know why this is.
I
suppose part of it could have been the fact that when I was born, I
was really the only child born in my entire family during the early
1980s. My sisters were both at least a decade older than I was, and
my cousins were more or less a decade younger than I was. It wasn't
exactly the best feeling in the world, knowing that you were
essentially the only person that was your age in your whole family.
I actually became a little bit jealous of people who had siblings who
were closer in age to them, or who ended up having cousins that were
in the same class. It didn't matter to me that they ended up
fighting a lot when they were together...they always had someone
close to them in age, and I didn't.
To
complicate things even further, I lived in a neighbourhood that
wasn't exactly kid-friendly. Sure, my elementary school was just a
couple of blocks away, but I lived on the same street at the city
hospital. As a result, a good 95% of the people who lived on my
street were over the age of 65. There was nary a child to be found
on the street. Again, it made for some rather lonely days as a
child.
So,
really, when you stop and think about it, I was sort of at a
disadvantage. And it became clear to me that the reason why I found
it so challenging to befriend people who were my own age was because
I simply wasn't exposed to them that much when I was a child. Yes, I
did attend school, and yes, I attended a summer camp program in later
years...but the rest of the time, I was pretty much left to my own
devices.
The
strange thing about it was that I had absolutely no problem
interacting with people who were older than I was. Whenever my
sisters brought friends home, I had no problem talking with them.
And whenever I went on an outing, I very rarely hung around the
children...I stayed close to the adults. Seeing other kids playing
sort of made me a bit nervous upon retrospect because I didn't know
how to interact with them at all. On one hand, I was so frustrated
because I couldn't figure out how to fit in with them. On the other
hand, I knew it was fine, because I knew that I had adults who I
could talk to.
Even
on my Facebook friends list seems to illustrate the fact that I tend
to get along with people who are older than I am. I do have a
cross-section of people as far as age goes, and there are some who
are close to my current age, but the vast majority are over the age
of 35. At first, I thought that it was just a coincidence, but now
I'm thinking that there's a reason behind it, just based on what I
previously have admitted about myself.
I
suppose that I would likely think about this differently if I did
have siblings that were close to my age, and if I grew up around kids
my own age. But, the truth of the matter is that I really didn't
have that opportunity until I went into school. Once I did get into
school, I was sort of a loner because I didn't know how to interact
with anyone who was not an adult. That's just the way it was.
And,
in some aspect, it's just the way it currently is.
And
you know something? I'm all right with that.
I
am trying to make an effort to get closer to people who are my own
age at least, so I guess that's something. But I think I'll always
find more in common with people who are older than I am. I've been
around them more than I have people my own age, and I feel more
comfortable sharing things with them than I do people who are my age
or younger.
In
fact, I'd probably be more open to the idea of dating someone who was
older than I was based on my confession alone. Not that it would
actually happen to me, and not that I would actively seek out a woman
affectionately known as a “cougar”...just that I would be open to
it.
But,
as I age, and the people who are older than I am pass away, I may
find myself in a completely different frame of mind (and not by
choice). But for now, I'll just take the challenges life throws at
me, I suppose.
That's
all I have for a confession today. It's not very big, and it may not
even make any sense to anyone else other than me. But, it's out
there now!
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