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Wednesday, October 16, 2013

If Sitcom Stars Became Monster High Dolls

I am actually looking forward to this edition of Whatever Wednesday. For one, the special “Clue” card that I've drawn is one that I haven't used until today. For another, the inspiration behind the topic that I inevitably chose was from one of the most unlikely places that I could have ever imagined. And finally, although my knowledge on one subject was extremely limited, I ended up taking my knowledge on another subject and combining them together to come up with what I hope is a creative and fun entry.

So, I don't want to keep you hanging on one minute longer. Today's “Clue” card is...

Mrs. Peacock!

And, for those of you who are tuning in to the Whatever Wednesday portion of the blog for the very first time, I'll explain what I've done. I've assigned each of the six suspect cards from an old Clue game one of the topics that I normally talk about in the blog. Examples being Miss Scarlet for the Sunday Jukebox, Professor Plum for the Thursday Diary, etc.

Well, Mrs. Peacock happens to be the representative for television shows. And, rather than talk about a television show, I decided that I would talk about several sitcom characters...with a Halloween twist.

And, again, I emphasize that the inspiration behind this blog entry came from a most unusual source.


Yes, my job that actually pays my bills was the one place where this blog idea was born...and ironically enough, it's based on a subject that I know little to nothing about.

Now, one of the key things that I have to know about my job is knowing your customer. As much as I don't like stereotyping customers, sometimes you can automatically predict what a customer might be interested in simply based on their age and gender. For instance, the average person buying the video game “Grand Theft Auto V” is male and usually between the ages of 17 and 27 – though I have sold the game to several female customers as well. I am more likely to sell a Daniel O'Donnell CD to the over fifty crowd than I would likely sell the same CD to someone who has just turned sixteen. And in regards to the new Skylanders game that was just released a couple of days ago...well, it's hard to determine, as people of all ages seem to love that game.

(Case in point, one man bought one of every new figure that came out with the new game. Total cost? Over three hundred bucks! But, hey, as I said, Skylanders seems to be one of those games that people of all ages can enjoy.)

But working in the electronics department, I do have one item that is marketed towards young girls. Well, several actually if you take into account the Barbie videos, the fashion designing video games for the Nintendo DS, and the Twilight movie series. But one video that seems to be on the “most-requested list” for girls between the ages of seven and fourteen. The newest of these videos just came out a few days ago, and I remember ringing through several copies on both DVD and Blu-Ray over the past few days. But that's not to say that some of the older movies are sitting around collecting dust. I seem to recall stocking and re-stocking the double feature DVD in the section at least half a dozen times over the last three months alone.

Who knew that the Monster High videos would be such a huge hit?

Now, what exactly is Monster High? Well, it's like the hottest new toy line for girls. Naturally, I didn't even know that such a line even existed until I moved to the electronics department, as I have no use for dolls. Heck, I used to bury my sister's Barbie dolls in our backyard when I was a kid. I imagine that if you dug up my childhood backyard, you might possibly find the remains of a Malibu Barbie hidden underneath the soil.

But anyway, back to Monster High. I guess one of the best ways that I can describe what a Monster High doll looks like part Bratz doll, one part Barbie doll, and one part monster from a horror film. All of the dolls are designed after a classic horror movie monster, so you have teenage girl dolls with green and blue skin, and have neck bolts and stitches, and some of the weirdest, scariest characteristics.

I mean, the dolls have names such as Draculaura, Lagoona Blue, Deuce Gorgon, Clawdeen Wolf, Cleo de Nile, Ghoulia Yelps, and Frankie Stein. And, on a personal level, while I can see why young girls would love the toy line...some of those Monster High dolls kind of creep me out with their looks.

But the Monster High dolls gave me a brilliant idea. What if I took some stars of sitcom past and gave them a Monster High style makeover? Seriously, launching a celebrity line featuring sitcom stars of the past after they've been given a new look – Monster High style.

Zombified child stars...Mummified teen actors. It's an interesting concept, don't you think?

So, let's not wait any longer. Let's see what a Monster High sitcom star might look like as a Monster High doll. I do regret that I have a really poor version of a paint program, so I can't actually turn the sitcom stars into Monster High interpretations. Luckily, I consider myself to be very good at describing things, so I hope that I can paint a portrait of what these Monster High sitcom stars might look like.

Most of these sitcom stars will be of the female variety...but I may through a couple of males in to mix it up a bit.

Let's start with...

Sitcom Star Spoofed: Stephanie Tanner from Full House

Scary-nie Tanner is a preteen gal with super enlarged ears, which come in handy for listening in on anybody's phone conversations from a ten mile radius. She also very rarely goes anywhere without her trusty teddy bear, Mr. Scare...a brown bear wearing a trenchcoat covered in spikes. You probably wouldn't want to mess with this one though. Not only would she call you rude, but with the deadly weapon known as Mr. Scare, she could use it to cut off your nose no matter what. Then she could your nose on a rose.

Sitcom Star Spoofed: Amy Farrah Fowler from The Big Bang Theory

Now, you might recall that Amy Farrah Fowler is the intelligent, yet socially awkward girlfriend of the genius neurotic Sheldon Cooper. But this werewolf version of the character known as Amy Farrah Howler is...well...essentially the same. But I can see Amy Farrah Howler finding a she-wolf friend who she can call her “bestie” helping her find a way to interact with the other...ahem...ghouls and goblins.

Sitcom Star Spoofed: Samantha Woo from California Dreams

I don't know how many of you remember California Dreams (it's currently airing on MTV right now), but it was a show about a teenage band who performed at a beachside diner, a pier, and some other various places. And, unlike most gimmicky music sitcoms, the songs were actually performed by the vast majority of the cast members.

Samantha Boo was once a living, breathing human...well, until she got electrocuted in a freak synthesizer accident. As a result, she is a ghostly form, with a spiked do that somewhat resembles that of Maggie Simpson.  But don't let her spooky form frighten you at all...she's really very kind and has the voice of an angel.  Just don't get on her bad side or she will curse you forever with the evil bad luck curse known as Boo-Shing!

Sitcom Star Spoofed:  Screech Powers from Saved By The Bell

Okay, so on the television show, Screech was the biggest dork in all of Bayside - and owned it.  So when he is transformed into a Monster High doll, his penchant for bright colours spread all over his body.  He is a horror in technicolor, and at first glance, one might mistake him for Beetlejuice with his ant colony and cockroach farm stowing away inside his ever growing curly mop.  As a Monster High doll, he toils away in his laboratory for hours, trying to find a way to invent a potion that will restore everyone back to normal...but naturally, nobody ever takes him seriously.

Sitcom Star Spoofed:  Blair Warner from The Facts of Life

To say that Bleech Warner is a gal with a silver spoon born in her mouth would be absolutely redundant.  Bleech Warner is a mummified social snob whose rags can only be fashioned out of the finest silk and cashmere bandages.  After all, you can't be seen in public in...polyester!  Bleech Warner isn't completely evil and self-absorbed though.  When push comes to shove, she can have moments of clarity and do the right thing every once in the while.  The problem is that she can't seem to stop staring in a mirror and adjusting her perfect wardrobe of bandages long enough to make the positive changes stick.

Sitcom Star Spoofed:  Mike Seaver from Growing Pains

Fans all over the world swooned over his all-American good looks on Growing Pains - well, that is until Kirk Cameron opened his mouth about his belief system which turned a lot of people off.  Therefore, I thought it only fitting that Mike Cleaver's Monster High adaptation is similar to that of Batman baddie Two-Face.  Literally, you could see the stitches across Mike's face as one side is angelic and pure, and the other side is devilish and scary.  Depending on which angle you approach Mike with, you could end up being his best friend, or his worst nightmare.  Just ask the one girl who charmed her way into Good Mike's heart only for Mike to find out that she did some modelling for a magazine banned from Monster High...she was kicked to the curb rather quickly...if you know what I mean.

Sitcom Star Spoofed:  Vicki the Robot from Small Wonder

It's Vicki the Robot with an evil chip implanted into her circuits.  Trust me, she was scary enough as the good version.  As Icky Vicki, she would make Monster High the ultimate scare factory.

Sitcom Star Spoofed:  Theodore Huxtable from The Cosby Show

Finally, we have all-star Monster High ladies man Theo-gore Huxtable...a man who has both outer and inner beauty.

Quite literally, he has the ability to turn himself inside out.  Apparently that trick is a hit with the ladies when he looks deep inside himself to show them how nice he looks inside.

Of course, one of the biggest struggles that Theo-Gore has to deal with at Monster High is the inability to score well on tests.  It would later be discovered that he has a learning disability, and that he has to do special exercises in order for him to understand his disability and become a better student for it.  Aside from that though, he's just like every other ghoulish student, and he is very well-liked by his peers.

So, what do you think?  Do you like my suggestions?  Do you have any of your own?

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