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Saturday, May 02, 2015

Year Two - Don't Call Me Buckshot!!!

Hello, everybody!  And welcome to the continuation of the anniversary special!

Wow...four years I've nearly been doing this blog now.  Where does the time go? 

So, the official anniversary date isn't until May 24th, but I decided to celebrate the whole month of May (and part of June) by sharing one personal story about me from every single year of my life.

And in today's edition, we take a look at the period that lasted from May 1983 to May 1984...otherwise known as "The Terrible Twos".

Actually, I don't know really if I really was that terrible at the age of two.  I don't really remember much about that time period at all aside from random memories involving M&M's, apple slices, and cheese in a can.

(I really hope that I didn't eat all of those things together.)

In all seriousness, there is one major memory that I have of that particular time period, and it sort of explains why I have had a lot of camera shy moments such as this one below.

Yeah, my late grandparents are in this photo, but I never looked at the camera.  I was probably watching our incredibly tiny and incredibly blurry television set while bouncing on my rocking horse.  I loved that horsey.

And the reason why I never looked at the camera?  Well, we'll get to that.

In the meantime, let's see what was big in pop culture during my second year of life.

#1 SONG OF THE WEEK of 5/18/83

I gotta say...this is pretty awesome!  The whole Thriller album was the most popular album of 1983 and I heard this album a lot when I was really young.  My favourite song from "Thriller" is "Billie Jean", but that song topped the charts before this one.  Still a kick butt song though, no matter how you look at it.

"Blue Thunder"

I don't think I remember seeing this one.  Good thing there's a trailer for the movie!


After being overthrown by 60 Minutes for a year, Dallas makes its way back to being the #1 show watched.  It would end up being the last time that the show reached #1, but if I recall, this was a couple of years before the infamous "dream season", so it makes sense.

Okay, so now I get to tell you the story behind why I have a bit of a tendency to hide whenever cameras are present.

I blame the Sears Portrait Studio for my fear of cameras.  I also blame my parents for forcing me to sit down in front of a person that I didn't know to take a picture.  And I really blame the person who chose the...shall I say...unfortunate outfit that I was forced to wear for the photo.

Yep.  That's me.  And, to this day, I honestly can't remember what it was about the day I went to the Sears Portrait Studio that caused me to lose my cool.  I still say that it was the ridiculous outfit that I was forced to wear.  I mean, it was bad enough that I looked like a train conductor from the 1940s (which probably warmed my father's heart as he used to work for a major railroad).  But why in the world would they feel the need to put the words BUCKSHOT on the front of the overalls?  I mean, really?  BUCKSHOT?  In big bright red italicized lettering?  What were they thinking?!?  I think that day was the last day that I ever wore overalls again. 

Don't even get me started on the really lame background image behind my crying face.  It looks like my parents went with some sort of autumn leaves theme.  I'm really hoping that this picture was taken in October, or else this theme would make no sense whatsoever.  And, can you say ugly?  Heck, even those ugly laser beams that some schools used as photo backdrops on class picture day would have been better than trees that were about to hibernate for the winter.

And let's get real here.  NOBODY liked those laser beam backgrounds.

And while you can't see it in the photo up above, the outfit that I was wearing came with a matching hat.  That photo does exist, but I've decided to keep that one hidden.  The overalls are bad enough.

Whatever the reason, I hear that I pitched quite a fit when it came down to sitting down for a photo.  The camera wasn't exactly like the one that my family used.  It wasn't like one of those tiny cameras that had the small flash, or one of those Polaroid cameras that allowed you to get your photo instantly.  It was a super huge gigantic camera that as far as the two year old in me could see was a gigantic gun that was capable of vaporizing me.

I have to wonder how much patience the poor photographer had with me.  When you consider that the shot above was one of only two poses that were usable, that must have been frustrating.  Had I been a contestant on America's Next Top Model, I'm sure Tyra Banks would have ousted me for my "performance".

But, I suppose that every parent dreams of having a professional photograph done of all their children.  My sisters both had them done, and theirs turned out beautifully. 

Not mine though.  Mine turned out terribly.  But again, I don't know what set me off that day, so I don't know whether it was my fault or someone else's.

Needless to say, it was a while before I could sit in front of a camera again. 

And in tomorrow's blog post, I talk about why a particular heavy metal song had me running towards the door!  Yeah, I was a weird kid that got scared a lot.  Maybe I was the inspiration for Chuckie Finster in "Rugrats"?

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