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Saturday, December 24, 2016

Gratitude on the Day Before Christmas

It's Christmas Eve.  Day #24 of the POP CULTURE ADDICT'S ADVENT CALENDAR is here, and this time around, I have decided to do something a little bit different.

I'm going to write a bit of a holiday letter to all of my readers.  The ones who have supported me the last five and a half years.

Because honestly, if it wasn't for you reading all of my crazy thoughts and how my mind works, I'd probably have gone nuts a long time ago keeping everything bottled up inside.

In all seriousness though, thank you to all of you who have stuck by me over the last five and a half years.  It's truly been a fantastic ride, and I am honoured to have you in my life.

And to be completely honest, I want to thank all of you for helping me to renew my holiday spirit.  For whatever reasons this year, Christmas 2016 was one that I was dreading.  I honestly couldn't explain why this was the case though.  Normally around the holidays, I get very excited that they are coming.  This year, we even have snow on the ground, which we haven't had the last couple of years.  But yet it still wasn't enough to get me excited about the holidays.

I mean, for one, I'm quite literally the only one in my family that isn't coupled up with someone else, and while that sometimes might not be a bad thing, it does make it a little lonely.  I know people will deny it all they want to, but sometimes I can't help but feel like a fifth wheel of sorts.  Most times whenever we have family get togethers, I just sit in a corner by myself because I don't know how to initiate conversations or even know how to relate to everyone. 

Then again, being the only one in my family that was born in the early 1980s might have a lot to do with that as well.

I suppose not having a family of my own sort of makes me not appreciate Christmas as much as people who do have kids.  People equate Christmas to being a kids holiday that I think when we become adults ourselves, it makes it harder for us to get in the spirit without having kids around. 

Honestly, I'd love to have a litter of kids myself, but biology dictates that I need someone to have them with, as I certainly don't have the anatomy to get pregnant.  Besides, I can't afford to have kids at this time of my life anyway.  But still...part of me wonders if I'm missing out because I don't have that.

So, I guess my feelings for the holidays have been about feeling lonely, and not knowing if what I do even matters.

So imagine my surprise when I randomly check my stats for this blog, and look at what I see.

I don't know what it is about this month that has seen a spike in this blog, but December 2016 is easily my most viewed month...and there's still seven days left to go.  Honestly, my blog has been in a lull lately, and I haven't quite figured out what I was going to do...but seeing so many of you reading my thoughts and sending me nice gives me the hope that maybe in this crazy world, I am doing something for someone else...and making my mark on this planet.  I think we all have our doubts in whether what we're doing is something that is meaningful or just a waste of time. 

This tells me that I'm still on the right track, and that I still have a lot left to give.  I just want you guys and gals to know how much I love all of you for supporting me and being there for me - even if my mood ranges from surly to splendid at times.

I have one more day in the advent calendar coming up, and then all week long, we'll take a look back at 2016 - whether we want to or not!

As for life in 2017?  The jury's out for now.

Merry Christmas Eve, everyone, and thank you for bring back the holiday spirit for me.  I'll never forget it.

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