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Monday, August 10, 2015

When Closed Captioning Goes Bust

I would say that as far as my hearing goes, it's quite good. 

Well, minus the times that I have the occasional wax build-up, and have to get them syringed out at the doctor's office.  (I know...horrible imagery to kick off the day.  Sorry!)

And, of course, when I have my iPod in, I can't hear anything that other people are saying to me...which can be a good thing in deflecting gossip at the workplace, but not so good for trying to be social without the aid of electronic devices.

I'll even admit to having selective hearing on occasion, and frequently tune things out because I am busy concentrating on something else.  I admit that I am not a good multi-tasker.

All in all though, I'm happy that I do have the ability to hear, because some people in the world do not have that sense at all.

Of course, that is not to say that they can't live full lives.  With the aid of sign language, computers, and closed captioning, no longer does being deaf mean that you are segregated from the rest of the world.

But, since I brought up the subject of closed captioning, I must say that if you do watch television or movies, and you have closed captioning turned on, make sure that the source is a good one.  Otherwise, you might end up seeing something like this...

...yeah, what a mess.  Of course, this is from a YouTube video, and YouTube videos aren't known for having the most accurate translations. 

(Though, I am curious to know the impact of an Islamic Court on Graham Elliott's muscles.)

But when they happen on live television, sometimes the best intentioned closed caption transcriber can goof up.

Here are some examples of closed captioning screw-ups courtesy of The Huffington Post, EOnline,, Offbeat Topix,, TvSearcher, KnowYourMeme, Rebel Circus, and BuzzFeed.

1.  Well, what else is there to do when there are wildfires burning down your neighbourhood?  Also, ewwwww!

2.  Last time I checked, Zooey Deschanel was the younger sister of Emily Deschanel, and she stars in the Fox show "New Girl".  In other words, she is NOT this putz.

3.  You know, I've seen episodes of "American Dad".  I legitimately don't know if this was a closed captioning fail, or if this was really what the script said.  Damn you, Seth MacFarlane.  Damn you to heck!

4.  Marijuana has a sexual preference?  Who knew?

5.  Wait...what?

6.  So, basically stay inside today. 

7.  You know, if it weren't for the Fox logo in the corner, I'd swear this was an episode of TLC's "My Strange Obsession".

8. least the text makes the scene work.

9.  You think you're so smart because you're Bill Nye, The Science Guy?  Well, I'll show you!  You aren't the only guy who can rock a bowtie, bitch!!!

10.  Just in case you were confused about what animals were really saying.

11.  Carlos Pena as Hitler...nice...

12.  Don't you just hate it when the intensity intensifies?  I know I do.

13.  I know when I think about cannibalism, I want it to be loudly implied.

14.  When you're in prison, is there really any other way to urinate?

15.  Thought #1.  Walter White really knows how to party.  Thought #2.  I think tighty-whities must be the only underwear that Bryan Cranston owns.

16.  Aha!  Now parents have an excuse to force their kids to eat their vegetables.  If they don't, they'll cause a terrorist attack!

17.  I think this must have been filmed in Australia.

18.  This is how "Pong" was inspired.

19.  This is like the best song ever!!!

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