This has been a really
wacky week. In one week alone, I have had trust issues, questioned
everything that I ever really believed in, and nearly got run over by
a gigantic truck crossing the street.
Believe me, that last part
is true. I'm still kind of shaken up over coming this close to
getting run over. Give how everybody in town has been shocked at the
number of fatalities that we have had this week on the road, I think
my feelings are totally understandable.
Anyway, we're not here to
talk about near death experiences (at least not this time around).
We're here to talk about requests.
And, well...for this week,
I'm changing it up.
Normally on Wednesdays, I
turn over control to all of you and I let you tell me what you want
to see featured on this blog. For the last few months, it has kind
of been a bit of a gift from me to you. And, don't get me wrong, I
have been extremely appreciative of every single request that I have
gotten. Seriously, some of my better blog entries have come about
because of suggestions that I have gotten from each and every one of
you, and I cannot show my gratitude enough.
But you know...there's
been something on my mind lately, and I've been very afraid to state
what that is because I know that by confessing this, I may have to
rethink how I present this blog from this point on. At the same
time, I've come to the conclusion that a lot of the reason why I am
the way I am is because I fear making positive changes for myself
because I worry that it will eventually be taken away.
(I know...irrational fears
are the worst. I need to work on eliminating them from my diet.)
I guess what I'm trying to
say is that in this blog entry, I'm the one who will be making the
request. And, my request will come in the form of a question.
I suppose that you could
consider this the “Jeopardy” Daily Double blog.
You know, over the last
couple of years, I've been keeping this blog mostly pop culture
themed. And there is a reason why I have done exactly this.
It's because a lot of my
life has been surrounded by pop culture, not necessarily as a choice,
but as a bit of a survival mechanism of sorts. My home life was all
right, but there were some moments that could be considered
tumultuous. My ability to deal with kids my age was hindered by the
fact that I didn't grow up around people my own age. And by the time
I was surrounded by people my own age (a.k.a. School), I didn't know
how to approach them or be friends with them. I guess in a lot of
cases, I was spoiled as a child in that some of my best friends when
I was three were all adults over the age of twenty-five. Every
single one of those people always treated me with respect so I didn't
really have to worry about them hurting my feelings.
Let's just say that a
kindergarten classroom filled with five and six year old children who
lack the maturity to play nice all the time was a real eye-opener.
In spite of all this
however, there was always one constant in my life. One constant that
helped me get through the pain that I was feeling at that time.
Pop culture.
When I was a kid I was
always glued to the television, or I was playing make believe games
with the toys that I played with as a kid, or I would grab a stack of
paper and a handful of crayons and draw my own comic books, or I
would always walk down to the convenience store around the corner to
rent a video game for the evening and take out my frustrations on
Goombas and Koopa Troopas in Super Mario Brothers 3.
And, I think it's safe to
say that my obsession with pop culture has followed me well into
adulthood. I have so many books and reference materials on pop
culture. The Internet Movie Database is one of my favourite websites
to visit at any given time. And given that I work in an electronics
department, I'm almost always able to find a video game, compact
disc, or DVD for a person (or at the very least, I have heard of the
movie title or music artist to help steer the customer on the right
track as to where they CAN find the items).
On the flipside, I do run
into the odd person who seems to be taken aback by the fact that I do
immerse myself so much into the world of pop culture. In fact, I
have actually had some people jokingly make comments about needing to
get out more, or that I need to get a better hobby, or that I watch
too much television. Well, you know what? Maybe I do. What
business is it of theirs whether I do or whether I don't?
In fact, I feel like doing
a little bit of a mission statement here to those who have the
audacity to make such claims.
In
your opinion, I watch too much television. But did it ever occur to
you that the television (as well as the video games I played, the
books I read, and the toys I played with) kept me from losing my mind
completely when it came to the stuff that I had to go through –
stuff that I wouldn't wish on anybody else. So, don't criticize the
fact that I have an addiction to pop culture by making jokes at my
expense. It is insulting, and the next time I hear a comment about
that in a negative sense, I will be letting you know.
Sigh.
What was I talking about again? Oh yeah. My request.
Over
the last two years, I've written over eight hundred blog posts. And,
of those eight hundred blog posts, about seven hundred and
ninety-nine of them have been pop culture related.
When
I was first doing this blog, I was having a lot of fun choosing
topics. I had a lot of creativity and I was coming up with topics
that were diverse, yet easy to talk about. Some of them were
received very well, while others were ignored. But you know, that's
just a part of life. Some generations might prefer “The Brady
Bunch” over “The Simpsons”, clearly because of the generation
gap between those two shows. And, that's cool. I try to make this
blog appealing to all ages.
(Which
is why I rarely ever swear in this blog, or give a disclaimer
whenever I do have a video clip that contains swearing.)
But
lately, I've been finding that writing pop culture themed blogs have
been incredibly hard work. Mind you, I've been doing this blog for
two years straight, so maybe a part of that comes from the fact that
I have been doing the same kind of blog post day after day. But this
last month or so, I've been taking a long time to even get one blog
post done, whereas beforehand it would only take me a couple of
hours.
At
first I was thinking that it had to do with the fact that this past
summer has not gone exactly how I thought it would, and that I have
had some personal issues to deal with. But now that all of those
things have been resolved, I'm still feeling the same way.
Lately,
I find that it's much easier to write about my thoughts and feelings
about certain things, rather than have a spotlight on a toy, or a
feature on a television show. As much as it might make me sound as
if I am searching for some form of self-gratification, or tooting my
own horn, so to speak, I find that by talking about things that are
bothering me, and talking about things that are on my mind at any
given time, it makes me feel better. It gives me clarity. It makes
me realize that I can still hold onto the possibility of great things
eventually happening for me.
And,
that's why...that's why I'm considering making a huge change to the
blog.
I'm
considering cutting down on the pop culture aspect of this blog and
bringing more of myself into it, no matter how manic or how poorly,
or how confused I am feeling at any given day.
It's
not as though I will be able to completely change the focus of this
blog completely. I could never truly sever my ties to pop culture,
and I will tell you that I'll still be featuring a Tuesday Timeline,
and that this blog will still have lots of music videos scattered
through it.
But
I think it's about time that I make this blogging project more of a
discovery of self, rather than just an information dump on pop
culture.
And
the possibility of that scares me.
I
was reluctant to talk about myself when I first began this project.
Seriously, have a look at some of the entries I wrote back in 2011.
They're kind of cold, sterile, and lack focus. Of course, we all
tend to be our own worst critics, and look back on some of our older
works and criticize them because we've honed and developed our craft
since then. But for me it wasn't so much of a style thing as much of
a personal thing.
Truth
is, I didn't think my life was interesting enough to talk about every
day. I've never been outside of North America. I've never gone
bungee jumping. I've never gone scuba diving in the Great Barrier
Reef. I've never been married, never had children, never taken a
real vacation. All I ever really have had in my life when I started
this blog was home and work – and let's be honest. Neither
environment has provided me with much satisfaction.
But
I'm simultaneously thinking that if I do reveal more of myself on
this blog, it might make things much clearer. I could have one of
those a-ha moments right here on this blog that might motivate me to
make more positive changes for myself...or at the very least, help me
come to the understanding that I owe it to myself to make these
changes for my own self-preservation.
But
you know. This is just what I'm thinking. In order for me to make a
decision, I need your input.
Should
I cut back on the pop culture content? Give it up entirely? Or are
you happy with the way things are?
I'm
serious. I need to know what you want to see. It will weigh heavily
on the future of this blog.
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