November 7, 2015
So, who here is starting to get sick of Christmas already?
I'm not quite there. Yet. But, believe me, I'm sure that sometime around Black Friday, I'll have a full-fledged Christmas induced meltdown where I grab a giant inflatable Olaf doll from frozen and use it to physically destroy Santa's Village display at the local shopping plaza.
(Well, okay. I wouldn't go THAT far.)
But I'm just going to come right out and say it. It seems to me that corporate America and retailers in general are rushing the season. And when I say rushing the season, I mean that when the clock strikes midnight on November 1, they take all the jack-o-lanterns, skeletons, cauldrons, and fake spiders and somehow use magical powers to turn them into Christmas trees, snowmen, reindeer, and sparkly trinkets that smell like pine needles and cinnamon sticks.
It's just too much. At least from a retailer's point of view anyway.
I mean, I get it. I've been in the business of retail for nearly eleven years now. I know how it works. You get your Back To School merchandise in July. You get Halloween stuff at the end of August. And by the time Boxing Day rolls around, they're already starting to set up the Valentine's Day displays.
Because nothing says I love you quite like a box of stale cherry cordials.
Now, when it comes to your own homes, I don't have a problem with that. If you want to decorate your house with enough lights to quadruple your electric bill, by all means, knock yourself out. If you want to watch holiday movies, I don't have a problem with it. Heck, I may end up cracking down and watching Frosty the Snowman later today.
What I do have an issue with is retailers trying to push ahead their holiday sales earlier and earlier to the point where Halloween and Christmas are merged into a superholiday that mimics Tim Burton's "A Nightmare Before Christmas". It's just unnecessary.
Do you want to know when I saw my very first Christmas commercial this year? October 31. Halloween night! I'm thinking...really? We're going to go to that now? It's bad enough that in the United States people wolf down their turkey dinners on Thanksgiving night to stand in line for twelve hours to save fourteen bucks on a pair of slippers at the Target Black Friday sale. Do we really need to be reminded that Christmas is coming in fifty some days and that if we don't spend ten grand on our loved ones, we don't really love them?
I say that enough is enough. I want to enjoy the holiday season without being barraged with holiday ads WAY before the holiday season even starts.
And don't even get me started on the so-called Veteran's Day Sales or Remembrance Day Extravaganzas that retailers have been partaking in during recent years. I'm fairly sure that all of those soldiers that sacrificed themselves during combat in war didn't do it so that their grandchildren could go shopping at Macy's while sipping on their Orange Julius beverages. Yes, we have the freedom to live our lives because of it, but isn't it a slap in the face to become materialistic consumers on a day in which we are to memorialize and respect our veterans?
I'd be perfectly fine with making November 11 a statutory holiday. All businesses should be closed that day so every single person who enjoys the freedom to be who they are can properly pay their respects to those who sacrificed themselves for us.
I say that we take back the month of November and wait until at least the end of the month to become Christmas crazy. This materialism and corporate propaganda this early in the game is disgusting, and I know many people who say that they actually hate the holidays because of it.
This just isn't right.