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Monday, April 21, 2014

In Between The Generations...A Special Monday Vlog

SPECIAL BULLETIN:  We interrupt this scheduled Monday Matinee entry for today so that we can bring you this totally unexpected, spur of the moment video blog instead.  Mind you, you don't HAVE to watch this video blog if you don't want to.  If you'd rather watch this episode of "Mrs. Brown's Boys" instead, by all means, click below.

Ah...still here, are we?  Cool.  I'll readily admit that this edition of the video blog will also have some written components to it, and it's also a deeply personal piece.

However, I want to stress one thing here before I continue.  I don't really blame anyone for the words that I am about to type/speak.  If anyone is to blame, I am.  But let's just say that when it comes down to how I feel about myself, I've been sort of in a funk lately.  And, ultimately while I know that I am the only one who can really help myself...I also find it one of the most challenging things to do.

April 21, 2014

Here's a little self-biographical sketch about myself that I think you should know about me before I post this edition of the special Monday Video Blog.  I know some of you were expecting a discussion about movies today, but I've decided to switch things up a bit and will post a movie entry later on in the week.  I explain part of the reason why within the video blog that accompanies this diary entry. 

But anyway, on with the sketch. 

I am what you consider to be in between generations.  I'm too young to be part of Generation X, but a little too old to be a part of the Millennial Generation.  I am what you consider to be a part of a "lost generation" of sorts.  Which would be fine if I had the opportunity to hang around people who are of like age.

But then again, as you'll see in this video...I kind of missed the boat on that.  I'll explain what I mean after the video.  I kind of got cut off towards the end.

Okay, so basically as I was saying, in between the years 1975 and 1986, we basically had only one baby born within my immediate family and extended family.

That baby was myself.

And, I gotta tell you, I didn't like it at all.  I always felt as though the timing of my birth was completely off.  Not that 1981 wasn't a great year to be was.  I just kind of wish that there were other people who were close to my age in my family that I could have hung around.  It certainly would have made adjusting to kids my own age a lot easier, and I may not have had such a hard time dealing with bullying in school had I had someone who was related to me in school at the same time as I attended. 

And certainly, it would have made the attending of family functions seem a lot easier.  Because there was nobody my own age around, I always found it really hard to relate to everyone else in the room.  They were either too old or too young.  So, as a result, I guess I spent a lot of time by myself because I felt as though I couldn't initiate a conversation with people, even though they were members of my own family.

And again, it's not their fault.  They couldn't help when they were born.

At the same time, I suppose it makes me understand why I somehow have developed a sense of why I have become a loner.  Well, that, plus I am the only single person in my whole family...which is another issue altogether, but sort of related in a way.  But again...that's not anyone else's fault but my own.

I don't know...I guess somewhere along the way, I tried so hard to carve my own identity within my family that I kind of became incapable of initiating conversation with not just family members, but anyone.  It was just too easy to close off the world and retreat in my own little cocoon.

Problem is...cocoons can be lonely little places.  And, I'm having trouble finding my inner butterfly.

Yeah, that didn't sound lame...did it.

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