I have to admit that we're only five days into the new year, and already I feel as though I have made a lot of progress in reinventing myself. And, as the other 360 days pass by, I absolutely feel as though everything is beginning to finally make a little bit of sense.
Trust me, it's a good feeling to have.
And because I am feeling really good about things, I thought that I would issue myself a little bit of a challenge for this year. If anybody has noticed, I have decided to switch things up for the blog. There's still going to be a little bit of pop culture mixed into every post that I make this year, but it will no longer be the main focus of the blog.
Instead, I've decided to make 2015 the most positive year that I have ever experienced.
So, for today and every other day in the blog, I am going to try and make each post positive. Or, if I can't find a way to make that happen (some of the Tuesday Timeline entries can be somewhat on the depressing side), I will try to make one positive comment.
I think a large factor behind my stagnation over the last few months was because I was feeling negative all the time, and I couldn't find an escape.
But now I feel as though things are starting to come into play.
And, you know what? I have to confess something right here, right now. I have to explain what has shifted my focus on bigger and better things.
You see, at my workplace, they have this telephone number posted all over the store. It's a number that allows people to speak to...um...how should I word this..."professional listeners". Yeah, I definitely like that description.
Long story short, I summoned up the courage to dial this number, and I spoke to someone who really put things into perspective, and helped me see things through a different point of view. It really helped me come to terms with everything that was going on. Sure, the chat didn't really solve any of the current problems that I was (and am) having at the moment, but I did feel like things weren't nearly as hopeless as I initially believed it to be.
But would you believe that I was nervous about even calling up the number in the first place?
I guess it's only natural for anyone who is afraid of asking for help to be apprehensive about seeking it out. Trust me, I was one who never asked for it when I was younger.
I guess if you could assign a symbol for my coping techniques, it would be similar to one of those plastic bottles filled with Pepsi or Diet Coke. I bottled everything up inside, and I kept it locked up tight. It worked for a while until the liquid began to make the bottle bulge. After a while, things would become so stressed out that the bottle itself would burst, and I would have an epic nuclear meltdown similar to the reaction one would have by dumping an entire package of Mentos into said bottle of Diet Coke.
I don't really need anyone to tell me how destructive that coping mechanism can be. It sucked to have to bottle everything up like that, and I still hate the fact that I go back to old habits and keep things bottled up until they blow. But I had my reasons for it at the time.
I had great difficulty trusting people. I had lots of instances in which I put my trust in people only for them to let me down later on. My mistake was that I was so frustrated with everything that I painted every single person with the same judgmental brush. I had people who backstabbed me, therefore everyone had sharp implements that they could use to also stab me in the back, thus seemingly providing me with enough information not to talk to anybody about my problems for fear that they will use what I tell them against me.
Not a good way to go through life.
Therefore, talking to someone who more than likely went through some of the same problems that I was experiencing really helped out a lot. And, honestly, my only message for today is...if you need help, don't be afraid to seek it. Talking to people about your problems is not weird. It is not annoying. It's what humans do. Help should NOT be a bad four-letter word.