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Tuesday, March 10, 2015

March 10, 1940

It's time for another edition of the Tuesday Timeline.  And this one is epic.

Mind you, I say that about EVERY Tuesday Timeline...but take it from me.  Today's subject is one epic subject in itself.  Believe me, it's probably one of the most epic subjects that I have ever talked about in this space.

And just how many times can I say the word epic?

You know, let's just go ahead with the events and celebrity birthdays of the tenth of March before I really start to lose my mind.

Okay, so what happened on March 10?  Quite a lot.

1804 - A formal ceremony is held in St. Louis, Missouri to transfer ownership of the Louisiana territory from France to the United States

1814 - Napoleon I is defeated at the Battle of Laon

1876 - Alexander Graham Bell successfully makes the world's first telephone call

1891 - Almon Strowger patents the "Strowger Switch" - the device that inspired the automation of telephone circuit switching

1922 - Mahatma Gandhi is arrested in India, tried for sedition, and sentenced to a six year prison term (of which he only served two and a half)

1933 - One hundred and fifteen people are killed and $40 million worth of damage is reported after an earthquake strikes Long Beach, California

1945 - The United States Army firebombs Tokyo, Japan, leaving 100,000 people dead

1969 - James Earl Ray pleads guilty to assassinating Martin Luther King Jr.

1970 - Captain Ernest Medina is charged with My Lai war crimes by the United States Military

1977 - Astronomers discover rings around the planet of Uranus

1988 - Singer Andy Gibb dies at the age of 30

1998 - Actor Lloyd Bridges passes away at the age of 85

2000 - Nasdaq peaks at 5132.52, which spells the beginning of the end of the boom

2010 - Actor Corey Haim dies of pneumonia at age 38

And I want to wish the following celebrities and famous faces a happy birthday; Ralph Emery, Dean Torrence, Katharine Houghton, Kim Campbell, Tom Scholz, Richard Park, Barbara Corcoran, Paul Haggis, Robert Llewellyn, Shannon Tweed, Jeanie Bryson, Sharon Stone, Lance Burton, Mitch Gaylord, Jasmine Guy, Rick Rubin, Neneh Cherry, Prince Edward, Earl of Wessex, Edie Brickell, Paget Brewster, Jon Hamm, Timbaland, Matt Kenseth, Eva Herzigova, John LeCompt, Cristian de la Fuente, Biz Stone, Jeff Branson, Shannon Miller, Rita Simons, Robin Thicke, Bree Turner, Edi Gathegi, Danny Pudi, Carrie Underwood, and Emily Osment.

So, what is the date that we are going to visit?

Well, we're going back seventy-five years in time to March 10, 1940.

Now, here's where the epic part comes into play. 

As it so happens, the Tuesday Timeline date happens to also be a celebrity birthday.  So, we know that this person turns 75 years old today.  And we also know that for the last decade, this person has been the subject of a series of memes that seemingly paint him as the most amazing person in the world, capable of doing impossible things with the greatest of ease.

But, how many of those memes are the truth?  Well, to be honest, less than one per cent.  But how many are entertaining?  99% or higher!

Of course, here in the Tuesday Timeline portion of the blog, I try to have some facts mixed in with the lies, so I thought I'd post ten memes featuring this person that are obviously not true, and balance it out by listing ten real facts about our birthday boy.

This is the
Chuck Norris blog - and can you believe he's 75 today?  He sure does hold his age well, doesn't he?

Okay, let's start with the first meme.

Yeah, while it would be nice if you could physically do that (especially in Ontario where it has been a really terrible winter, and where hydro prices are overinflated - thanks, Ontario government).  Alas, nobody has ever created fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.

But Chuck Norris HAS performed martial arts for well over five decades and has probably broken a lot of boards with just his bare hands - and feet for that matter.  I know I certainly don't want to run into him in a dark alley.


Something tells me that Chuck Norris probably has no idea what the heck Pokemon even is.  But I can tell you that Chuck Norris probably knows what a Total Gym is.  He filmed a series of infomercials advertising the product with former 1980s supermodel Christie Brinkley.

No word on whether they work...but the fact that they advertised it at all is true.

I don't know what Chuck Norris' blood type is.  Definitely NOT AK-47.  But I bet you didn't know that his real name isn't Chuck.  It was just a nickname that he first received while he was serving in the Air Force.  His birth name is listed as Carlos Ray Norris.

This one is kind of considered a "maybe", as zombies do not exist.  At least, not yet anyway.  Still, would you risk taking on a zombified Chuck Norris?  Probably not.

Though, he DID do a cameo appearance on the CBS sitcom "Yes, Dear".  And in order to actually be entertained by that show, you sort of had to be a zombie.  So, the link kind of ties together, albeit loosely.

That would be one weak snake, don't you think?

However, if you refer to snake as an adjective to describe an unscrupulous, lying, cheating criminal, then yes, I suppose Chuck Norris has killed quite a few of them.  After all, he played the role of Cordell Walker in the CBS series "Walker, Texas Ranger" for eight seasons, followed by a couple of made for television movies. 

Obviously, this is NOT even possible.  Well, unless Chuck Norris discovered a way to travel back and forth through time.  But, Chuck Norris DID build his very own martial arts school and created his own martial arts techniques.  Google the term CHUN KUK DO for more information.

Untrue.  "American Idol" has a cut off age of 29.  When Chuck was 29, the hottest show on the air was "The Brady Bunch", and I KNOW he never appeared on that show!

But he did appear in a string of films - mostly showcasing his martial arts skills.  Among some of the following were "An Eye for an Eye", "Missing In Action", "Hero and the Terror", and "The Expendables 2".

Apparently, Chuck's aim is so good that he kills people before blowing up grenades.  But Chuck Norris is also a man who blows up political arenas.  While he has not run for any forms of office, he is a staunch Republican, and donates money to Republican fundraisers.  Now, this has certainly caused a little bit of alienation with some people, and I admit that he has some beliefs that I don't agree with.  But this is neither the time or the place for that, so let's move on.

I don't know if he has the power to make inanimate vegetables show emotion...however, I imagine that he has seen plenty of emotion within his family.  He has five children and nine grandchildren!  In fact, one of his children, Eric, has raced in NASCAR!

Strangling someone with a cordless phone is an amazing feat.  But do you know what else is an amazing feat?  Earning a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame!  He earned the honour in 1990.

So, what else is there to say about Chuck Norris on his 75th birthday?

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