There's
an old saying that exists that seem to describe life brilliantly. That saying is "live life without
regret". I have no idea who
originally came up with that saying though.
Maybe it was Benjamin Franklin.
Maybe it was Albert Einstein.
Maybe it was Britney Spears.
Whatever the case, all of us try to go and live our lives and regret
nothing about any of the decisions that we have made in our lives.
But
how many of us actually do live life without regret?
I
hate to say it, but regrets? I've had a
few.
For
instance, I regret not having done more in my life by the time that I turned
thirty. I know that life is not a
competition (unless you're an Olympic athlete, an "American Idol"
contestant, or one of those scary women from that show "Dance Moms"),
and I know that everything happens for a reason. I just sometimes have a difficult time figuring out what that
reason is. Happens to the best
of us.
I
regret not finishing university and getting a degree even though the program I
was in was essentially a dead-end one anyway, and nothing likely would have
changed much even if I had gotten that certificate. Of course, I can always go back if I choose to, so I'm not really
all that regretful about it knowing what I know now. Truth be told, I wished that I had gone to a community college
instead of a university. I think I
would have liked that set up a lot more.
And really, the only pro to a university degree is more money, and
honestly as long as I had enough money to live semi-comfortably, I would be
fine with a basic college education.
Hell,
I regret not punching all the kids who used to tease me at recess in the nose
when I was younger. Would have likely
gotten thrown out of school...but again, knowing what I know now, that actually
might have been a good thing. And,
hey...maybe I wouldn't have spent so much time being a doormat or a
pushover. But, hey...some lessons take
years to learn. That was one of
them. Of course, I would only do the
nose-bopping as a last resort. And only
if I were severely provoked.
Of
course...that's not the only regret that I have when it comes to school. Certainly I do wish I could have stood up to
both classmates and teachers back in those days, but there was something else
that I wished I had done.
I
regret not taking part in more extracurricular activities.
And
right off the bat, I feel like I've compromised my integrity here. I hated school and I hated everyone in it,
but yet I wished I could have taken part in more school activities? Wouldn't I have felt the opposite? SHOULDN'T I have felt the opposite?
Yes,
I should have. But I didn't.
Truth
is, I wanted to take part in a lot more activities in school than I actually
did. Granted, I did a couple of things
during my school career. I played in
the concert band, I entered the science fair a couple of times, I took part in
the "Reading Buddies" program, and I took part in a couple of
assemblies at school, but that was about it.
Looking
back on it, it's a wonder I was even accepted to any colleges and universities
at all. Schools look at
extracurricular activities more than they did when I graduated from high school
fifteen years ago. By the time I
graduated high school, my extracurricular activities rounded a big fat zero.
So,
here's the million dollar question. Why
didn't I just suck it up and join the school clubs?
Well,
here's the million dollar answer. I
didn't fit in to any of the clubs.
I
was already considered an outsider in school.
If I joined any clubs, I had the feeling that I would be completely
ignored and judged, and in all likelihood, I would have dropped out after two
weeks anyway. It's so easy to look back
on it now and think that I was being absolutely ridiculous and jumped to
conclusions over it now. But the
teenage me was admittedly a lot more damaged than the now 33-year-old me. I suppose only former school outcasts could
really understand how I truly felt back then.
Still,
I missed out on a lot of fun opportunities while I was in school by not taking
part in clubs and activities, and I always regretted not doing at least one or
two things for the school. Who
knows? It may have completely changed
my whole attitude towards the student body, and I very well could have enjoyed
myself. Perhaps I may have even made a
couple of friends along the way.
Alas,
I will never know. But I suppose
there's nothing wrong with doing a little bit of speculation over what school
clubs I could have joined.
Now,
right off the bat, I could eliminate any sort of activity involving any sort of
athletics. I can't dribble, shoot, kick
a field goal, score a touchdown - heck, even remembering the school cheer was a
challenge. Then again, when our school
had their pep rallies, I used the time to take a nap.
And,
I would never join any club that involved singing. We already established in several past posts that I can't carry a
tune.
That
said, here are some of the school clubs and activities that I wish I had taken
part in.
PHOTOGRAPHY CLUB
Granted,
the reason why I never actively took part in this club was simple. I didn't have a camera when I was in school,
and money was tight in my family, so there was really no way I could afford
one. But if I had my own camera back
then, I think I would have found solace in this club. I always was someone who liked to express themselves in a
creative manner, and certainly photography would have been a great way to do
exactly that. Considering that my
school never had a writer's club, photography was really the only way that I
could have showed creativity.
YEARBOOK CLUB
I think that I regret not joining this club the most in school. I always did well in desktop publishing, and really, how hard was it to assemble thousands of photos of the 800 or so students who attended high school into a convenient volume of 160 pages? I think that it would have been a lot of work, but so rewarding in the end. Again, I regret not joining the yearbook...but at the same time, I don't think it would have worked out. You see...one of the members of the yearbook staff was a person who I never could stand in school. I could only have taken so much arrogance and snobbish behaviour before I crammed a camera down their throat. But if I could do it over again, I would have joined the staff and made this person eat their words.
I think that I regret not joining this club the most in school. I always did well in desktop publishing, and really, how hard was it to assemble thousands of photos of the 800 or so students who attended high school into a convenient volume of 160 pages? I think that it would have been a lot of work, but so rewarding in the end. Again, I regret not joining the yearbook...but at the same time, I don't think it would have worked out. You see...one of the members of the yearbook staff was a person who I never could stand in school. I could only have taken so much arrogance and snobbish behaviour before I crammed a camera down their throat. But if I could do it over again, I would have joined the staff and made this person eat their words.
(Figuratively
- not literally.)
KEY CLUB
Now,
Key Club was an interesting club in school.
For those of you who may not know what it was, it was a club that
allowed students to showcase leadership skills through performing community
service both on and off campus. This is
another club that I absolutely regret not joining. I knew a couple of people in the club who I probably could have
gotten along with and the faculty advisor was one of my favourite high school
teachers and she would have more than welcomed me into the group. But for whatever reason, I never did take
part in that club. I suppose it was
really my insecurities about myself that really wrecked it for me. The teenage me thought that if I couldn't
get along with the kids at school, how the heck could I get along with members
of my own community. The adult me
wishes he could slap the teenage me in the face and dragged him to the meeting
- especially since the adult me is more than making up for lost time.
REACH FOR THE TOP
Ah,
yes...Reach For The Top. The high
school quiz game that tested high school students on a variety of
subjects. And in grade nine, I tried
out for the team...only to realize that my trivia skills were severely lacking
and I was embarrassed by all of the other eggheads in the room. Still, I regret not going back in later
years. But hey, I suppose I could
always try out for "Jeopardy!".
Being on a game show is on my bucket list!
Okay,
I think I'll stop there. I don't want
to make it sound as if I wanted to join every single club that existed in my
school. But truth is, I cheated myself
out of a lot of fun experiences at school.
And it's only now that I realize that the only person who can be blamed
for it is the very person who just posted this blog post.
Sure,
there were some other factors in play when it came to not joining clubs. Some were not the right fit for me. Some clubs had members whom I could not work
with. And some were completely way out
of my league. I'm looking at you
Computer Programming Club.
Ultimately,
the blame lies with me. I couldn't get
over my insecurities about myself to actually have fun with school clubs. If I could have only not let people get to
me, I could have had found a way to find some enjoyment in a place that only
seemed to bring misery. And that is my
biggest regret. Not being able to rise
above the bad to find the good - especially when I was a teenager.
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