Why You Should Vote For The Care Bears Family

Well, you guys and gals may have noticed that I have a poll posted in this very blog.  And this poll will give you the power to choose which retro cartoon you want me to review every episode of.

Now, I should state that when I say every episode, I mean every episode.  One entry could be a full 22 minute episode, while another could be an 11 minute half episode.  Apparently the 1980s were popular for half episodes for some reason.

Well, I thought that since I changed the date of the poll to July 15, I thought that I would use this opportunity to make a case for each of the four shows.  That way, it might make you think about your vote a little bit more.

Just to show you what I mean by "reviewing" a show, I'll post a couple of links for you.  Click HERE for "Full House Reviewed" and click HERE for "Saved By The Bell Reviewed".  Mine will follow a similar format - only with less swearing.  I want to keep this blog PG rated so that all audiences can enjoy it.  Not trying to wuss out here.  Just trying to take all ages into consideration.

So, from now until Saturday, June 27, I'll be making a case for one of these shows, just so you can have a bit of an idea as to what to expect in these reviews.

Okay, so let's start with the first choice.

Why should you vote for me to review "The Care Bears Family"?  Well, the show was one that I watched as a kid.  Heck, I'll openly admit to the fact that "The Care Bears Movie" was the very first movie that I ever saw in a movie theatre.  And while I admit to loving the show when I was a child, I must also admit that it is more fun to make fun of it.

Let's face it.  The Care Bears Family was like the "Full House" of cartoons.  Super schmaltzy, super cheesy, and every episode had to have some sort of moral.  It's certainly got a lot of ammunition to work with.

And certainly with the Care Bears running three seasons in Canada (1986-1988), there's certainly a lot of material to cover.  I counted all the episodes (full and half) that I will be reviewing, and there's a total of 78 episodes.  So, if I do one episode a week, you can expect a Care Bears entry weekly from now until January 2017! 

So, be warned.  If you vote for The Care Bears Family, I'll be going through two Christmases with them.  So, make your choice wisely.  If the thought of having Care Bears for the next year and a half scares you, this may not be the right choice for you.

But if you do want to go ahead with this vote, here's what you can expect.

You can expect there to be a lot of discussion about the Care Bear Stare.  It seems hard to believe that a little tummy symbol could be so frightening.  Maybe if you get hit by it, you disintegrate into a pile of smoldering ash.  At least, that's my theory.

You can expect me to make fun of Beastly.  Beastly is our village idiot, and he certainly does some really stupid things for No Heart's attention, which I will point out at every single opportunity.

You can also expect me to rake that shrieking harpy shrew of a woman known as "Shrieky" over the coals.  God, can they not have come up with a more annoying character?  Thankfully she doesn't appear in the show until season two.

Prior to that, we have Hugs and Tugs to share in the annoyance factor.  They get really obnoxious in the third season, in which the show may as well have been renamed "The Hugs & Tugs Show featuring Grams Bear".

I'll also be talking about some of the voice actors from the show, and what other roles they played in other cartoons.  Bet you can't guess which Care Bear ended up becoming one of the Sailor Scouts on "Sailor Moon"!

Remember how I said that every episode of "The Care Bears Family" had a moral or a lesson to learn?  I'll be bringing up every single one.  In a select few, they make perfect sense.  In others, there's a lot of hypocrisy to be had.  Don't worry.  I'll point out each case in detail.

Oh, and one more thing.  They totally rip off "Star Trek".  Like, for real.  In like five or six different episodes at that!  You have been warned.

So, if all of those things appeal to you, by all means, put me through 78 weeks of reviewing the Care Bears. 

If not, stay tuned for the other three descriptions.  Tomorrow, I'll put together a case for "Inspector Gadget".