Previously on Jem Reviewed, we celebrated Halloween...in January. But it was a fairly decent episode
overall. I can't say the same about
this one. It's in the running for worst
Jem episode ever.
But
just what makes Episode 43: The Presidential Dilemma so terrible? You'll see as we go ahead...but hey, at
least this one's posted a week before Donald Trump gets inaugurated. The timing's much better with this one.
Well,
right off the bat, I can tell that this is one of the six episodes with the
terrible animation. I mean, just watch
how Kimber answers the front door of Starlight Mansion. Very choppy.
It appears that a couple of secret service men have appeared on the front steps of the mansion, and they have a telegram for Jem!
It appears that a couple of secret service men have appeared on the front steps of the mansion, and they have a telegram for Jem!
It
seems as though Jem and the Holograms have been cordially invited to play for
the President and the First Lady at a special concert at the Kennedy Center in
Washington, D.C.! Wow, now that is a
special honour indeed. Now, at the time
this episode aired, the President at that time was Ronald Reagan. Let's see if this episode even remotely
comments on this.
The
concert is scheduled for the day after tomorrow, so we still have to get
through tomorrow's events beforehand so the action shifts to tomorrow which
becomes today. Got all that? Jem meets with the entertainment coordinator
of the White House, Paul Davis to discuss the concert
plans. My question is...is there really
such a position as entertainment coordinator?
And just who is it? Or, who was
it during Barack Obama's presidency?
Someone fill me in?
One
of the things that Paul shows Jem is the high tech security system that the
Kennedy Center has. Fair enough. Jem's a big ticket entertainer by this time,
and they want to make sure that Pizzazz doesn't shoot her or anything. The problem with the security system is that
it has an unintentional side effect.
The system successfully blocks Synergy's transmissions, and when Jem
gets too close, she reverts back to Jerrica.
This could pose quite the problem when it comes to the concert itself.
So, Jerrica calls Kimber at Starlight Mansion and tells them to bring Synergy
with them when they fly out to D.C. later that day. Oh, yeah, like they can really get a seven thousand pound
computer across the country in that short a notice without drawing
suspicion! But having Synergy in D.C.
will give her enough power to override the security system or something. I don't know how it works, we just need to
have a conflict for this episode.
And
as if bringing Synergy to Washington wasn't the group's only problem, it seems
as though the Misfits have learned about Jem's trip to Washington through
Lindsey Pearce's show...and they are definitely NOT happy about it. So, they talk with Eric about flying them
out to D.C. so that they can upstage Jem in front of the President. Eric's like...oh, why not? What's the worse that could happen? Well, aside from the butcher job they did on Pizzazz's face, that is. Thanks, Korean based animation company!
Well,
they could barge into a session with the U.S. Congress armed with their
instruments and begin playing a song!
Oh, yeah, that's sure to help you with endearing yourself to the
President!
Now, expect there to be a lot of patriotism in this episode, starting with the
Misfits song "Star-Spangled Fantasy". It's a cool name for a song, but the song itself is largely
forgettable. I've definitely heard
better from this group. And apparently
the politicians in the room have heard better too as they throw the Misfits out
of the room threatening to arrest them!
Better luck next time.
The Misfits decide to go to Plan B.
They dress up as coffee shop girls (likely raiding Jetta's closet after
being inspired by her Burger King ensemble last episode) and raid the hotel
that the Holograms are staying at in hopes of sabotaging them there. But all they spot is Jerrica and the
Holograms bringing up pieces of electronic equipment inside their room. Now, we all know that these bits and pieces
are Synergy, but the Misfits don't know this.
They call Eric up to let him know what they found out, and Eric reveals
that he knows exactly what they are talking about.
Yeah, remember that little plot point way back in episode five where Eric hired
a spy to take pictures of Synergy but really went nowhere? In a rare bit of continuity, Eric still has
the photos taken two years earlier, and seems to come up with the idea that the
computer parts are VERY important to Jem's act. Eric, you have no idea how right you are on that! He them makes a couple of calls to various
people. Why do I get the feeling that
Eric's going to do something very bad?
Synergy is hooked up as normal, she transforms Jerrica into Jem, and the band
goes out for a night on the town before performing at the Kennedy Center.
At
the same time, we have another potential sideplot that is happening in the
city. Somewhere in town is a criminal
who calls himself the Washington Marauder, who has been stealing
historical artifacts from various museums and historical landmarks all over the
city. Nobody has ever caught him in the
act, and he remains at large. Gee, I
wonder if we'll get to meet this masked man at some point in the episode.
Well,
we know one thing. It seems as though
the Holograms ironically never implemented their own security system to protect
Synergy because someone breaks into the room where she is kept and starts to
disassemble her!
And it's not until Jem changes back into Jerrica that the girls realize that
something is terribly wrong! They rush
back to the hotel to find out what is going on.
Okay,
so I won't really recap this in detail because frankly this episode is kind of
boring. But what I can tell you is that
Synergy was confiscated by the FBI and taken to the Pentagon for further
testing. Apparently the U.S. government
received an anonymous call from someone who made the claim that Jem and the
Holograms were smuggling illegal equipment into Washington, and the FBI seized
Synergy to examine her.
Oh,
and it should come as no surprise that Eric Raymond was the one who made the
call.
Naturally,
this strikes fear into the hearts of Jerrica, Kimber, Raya, Shana, and Aja, and
they decide that they must meet with the President in order to issue some sort
of presidential pardon so that Synergy can be released back into their
care. But given that the FBI now has
control of Synergy, it won't be easy.
I mean, we have an entire music montage featuring a song from episode 12 -
"Time Is Runnin' Out". I
think used in this context, it's a bit more effective than it was used in the
episode "In Stitches". I just
wish the sound effects peppered throughout this video weren't quite so loud. It drowns out the sound, and it's actually one of the group's better songs from season one.
Anyway,
after what seems like a battle to get through to see the President, they manage
to get their audience with the commander-in-chief...who might I add looks
NOTHING like Ronald Reagan. I'm
guessing that they went with some generic looking President instead.
JEM TRIVIA: They never once reveal the name of the President in this whole episode. I guess they did that so they could play the episode over and over again since the writers all felt that only white males could ever be president. Well, at least that was the case until January 2009, that is. And might I add, I'll miss you Barack Obama. And I'm not even American!
JEM TRIVIA: They never once reveal the name of the President in this whole episode. I guess they did that so they could play the episode over and over again since the writers all felt that only white males could ever be president. Well, at least that was the case until January 2009, that is. And might I add, I'll miss you Barack Obama. And I'm not even American!
So,
back to the story, Jerrica tries to explain to the President that the
government has made a mistake and that Synergy is theirs without actually
revealing that Synergy is the machine responsible for making Jem who she
is. But the President is reluctant to
turn over control of the machine as the scientists who are examining Synergy
are baffled by the technology which they see as being years away. Okay, this episode was made in 1987. We now live in a world where computers can
be found in devices as big as a cell phone.
Just what did the writers think the future was going to be like thirty
years later?
Somehow
though, Jerrica and crew convince the President to show them where Synergy is,
and the President takes them to the area where the experiments are being
done. To everyone's shock, they find
Synergy has been taken apart and is in about twenty-five not quite so bite
sized pieces, and it will definitely take some time to put her back together
again.
But what nobody is aware of is the fact that above an air vent (how contrived)
is the Washington Marauder...and he's there to grab the last treasure needed to
complete his collection. So help me, if
that item happens to be Synergy, this episode will have surpassed its level of
unbelievable happenings. Oh,
wait. Plot twist. Turns out that the Marauder wants the
President himself as his final item.
So, it seems as though theft and burglary isn't enough to keep him
occupied...now it seems that he wants to add kidnapping charges to his police
dossier.
But
Jerrica happens to spot the kidnapping going on with her own eyes, and tells
the other Holograms to stay behind to reassemble Synergy while she hops on the
back of the van that the Marauder is driving in hopes of saving the President's
life. That's mighty ballsy of Jerrica
to do this, but again, this episode just seems to throw together every possible
plot twist from every single action movie ever made. It's just so...terrible.
We later come to find that the Marauder is a little bit on the insane
side. He's used all of the historical
artifacts that he has stolen over the last few weeks to build his very own
shrine to American history. He even has
Abraham Lincoln's cane! But of course, the crown jewel of the collection is the President, whom he
plans to keep locked up in a cage that looks exactly like the Oval Office in
the White House. So, yeah, our Marauder
has obviously gone off the deep end.
And
unfortunately for Jerrica, the Marauder has friends who work for him, as they
have no trouble capturing her when they spot her sneaking around. Jerrica's only hope now is that the
Holograms remember how to rebuild Synergy.
Well,
you have Aja and Raya who seem to have the brains of the group, Shana who has
the heart of the group...and then there's Kimber who really isn't doing much of
anything. Well, at least 75% of them
are useful. But they've done a fairly
good job of recreating Synergy as she was before they brought her to
Washington. The only thing is...have
the managed to put her together in time to save Jerrica and the President?
Aja flips the power switch, and Jerrica fiddles with her earrings, and quicker
than you can say "Showtime, Synergy", Jerrica's earrings begin to
glow, and she sends out one illusion after another, surprising the President
and scaring the Marauder and his goons.
But to Jerrica's credit, she does summon an Abraham Lincoln hologram, so
it would be the equivalent of her bringing him back from the dead. She very well may have summoned Holograms of
all of the U.S. Presidents. Maybe she
even summoned Donald Trump, for all I know.
Whatever
the case, the illusions force the bad guys into the cage and the President
locks them inside. The terror of the
Washington Marauder is now over.
But
now that Jerrica has essentially showed the President that she can do magic
tricks with her earrings, she realizes that if she has any hope of getting
Synergy back, she will have to reveal her secret.
So
while they are on the ride back to the White House, Jerrica uses her earrings
to transform into Jem, right in front of the President. So, now we have the President of the United
States to add to the list of people who know Jem's identity. What's hysterical is that she has no problem
telling the President who she is, but she still won't tell RIO!
The
President agrees to keep Jem's identity a secret, and he has no problem with
returning Synergy back into Jem's care.
Aw, that's nice.
And
just like that, it's time for the concert at the Kennedy Center. And remember how I said that you could
expect a lot of patriotism in this episode?
Have a look at the video for the Holograms' single "Freedom". And, no, it's not a cover version of the
1990 George Michael song. It's actually
a song about how much Jem loves her country.
It's actually not horrible, but the music choices for this episode are
kind of lackluster.
Yeah. Worst. Episode. So. Far. This is really disappointing. Season 2 started off so strong, and the first dozen episodes were really well written...and now we have THIS tripe? I sure hope that this was just a rough patch that we'll soon be leaving because if the rest of Season 2 is like this, I can sort of see why Season 3 was the last year of the show.
So, next week, the Holograms take a cross-country tour of the United States on the train. But when Misfits and a con board the same train, will it derail their careers permanently?
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