I'm
going to open this blog post up with a statement. This opinion piece will likely open up a debate about a so-called
taboo topic that we have always been instructed to avoid discussing for fear of
offending someone else. This piece may
cost me a couple of friendships with people who hold different opinions than I
have.
But
you know something? I have to have my
say in the matter. Too much has gone on
in the world for me to remain silent on this issue much longer.
I
am not a supporter of organized religion.
The
key word here, of course, is organized.
Religion in itself is not bad.
In this huge world are dozens of religions and belief systems. And while the majority of these religions
are designed very differently, there are definite similarities between each
one. In fact, I would say that in most
religions, the ideal of being kind and showing compassion to your fellow man
would be at the ideal of anybody who considers themselves spiritual by nature.
I
don't consider myself to be religious by any means, but I do consider myself to
be a spiritual person. I'm not exactly
a believer in God, but I don't really consider myself to be an atheist
either. I would probably best describe
myself as an agnostic. Someone who does
not know if there really is a deity or angels watching over us, but hasn't
ruled out the possibility of them existing.
I probably won't know until I die.
Even
when I was enrolled in "Sunday School" as a child, I didn't really
show much interest in the religious aspect of it all. I was only there for the fun activities we did, such as making
cookies, or doing arts and crafts. Of
course, I was eight years old during that time, and was admittedly the
"Bart Simpson" of the group.
At least I openly admit it! I do
appreciate the time that I spent in Sunday School, but it just didn't seem like
a right fit for me, so I didn't go back after my 10th birthday. It was a choice that I made for myself, and
although my parents did come from families that were very religious, I
appreciate the fact that they allowed myself and my two siblings to make our
own choices regarding religious affiliations.
And,
well...one of my beliefs is that I don't need organized religion to be
considered a good person. But that is
only my feelings.
Every
place of worship is very different.
Many of them are wonderfully warm places of worship where people are
singing and dancing to gospel music, and where people hug each other in the
pews, and they consider the church to be a place of healing, and kudos to those
who attend one of these churches. I
would imagine that even though organized religion is not my cup of tea, I think
that if I went to one of these places of worship, I would likely be welcomed
with open arms and have a good time.
Simultaneously,
there are places of worship that do more harm than good, and I would imagine
that if a God is out there, S/He would not be pleased seeing a group of people
commit old-fashioned blasphemy by exhibiting prejudice against the poor, the
minorities, the homosexual, and the non-believers. Nor would S/He be pleased at people committing criminal acts in
their deity's name.
Of
course, the most extreme examples of this in action would be the Westboro
Baptist Church, or supporters and sympathizers of ISIS. That much is a given. But what happens when a situation occurs
where a person is basically denied a human right by a person representing a
place of worship right in your very own community?
As
you may have guessed, this post was inspired by the events that took place in
Lakewood, Colorado one week ago yesterday, and how the decision made by the
pastor of a ministry sent shockwaves and anger throughout not just the state of
Colorado, but the entire world as well.
The
tale begins on December 30, 2014 with the sudden death of thirty-three year old
Vanessa Collier. Collier left behind
two children, as well as her spouse, Christina.
Over
the next few days, the family and friends that Vanessa left behind planned her
funeral, choosing New Hope Ministries as the place where the service would be
held. It was founded in 1981 by Pastor
Ray Chavez and his wife Lola, and it was located in the same area where Collier
grew up. One of the beliefs that the
church held was that it was "a place where those bound by drugs, alcohol,
gangs and violence can find an Ounce of Hope".
Unfortunately
for Collier's family, that ounce of hope was denied to them on the date of the
funeral service. January 10, 2015.
Initially
the service was progressing the way that most memorial services would. Family and friends sat down in the pews,
mourning their loss, sharing stories about the deceased, and displaying
photographs of happier times spent with the person who had passed.
Perhaps
it might have been one of the photos that set Pastor Chavez off. Nobody really knows. All that we do know is that fifteen minutes
into the service, Pastor Chavez could not continue with the service.
The
reason? Photos of Collier and her wife
embracing each other and kissing each other were present at the funeral
service. And as long as the photos of
two women kissing were present in the church, he could not continue with the
service.
In
other words, he cancelled the funeral because the deceased person happened to
be a lesbian.
You
can just imagine how well that went over.
The mourners were furious and left the church in anger, taking programs,
pictures, and eventually Collier's casket out of the church entirely. The entire service was moved across the
street to a funeral home.
Still,
this whole story just leaves me with a very bitter taste in my mouth. To have a church deny a person of their
final right on this planet because of who they happened to fall in love with is
the very definition of disgusting.
There was absolutely no logic and no common sense in Pastor Chavez's
decision to stop the funeral right in the middle of the service. Nobody in the world could ever justify that
decision being made at all in my eyes.
Not
that some haven't tried to. Some have
taken the side of the New Hope Ministries, stating that they had the right to
their opinions and that they had every right to stop the service if that was
what they felt was right. Mind you, I
do NOT agree with that stance at all.
Honestly,
I don't think that any church has the right to stop a memorial service for
anybody regardless of who they are or were.
People in this world have died who have done some rather reprehensible
things and even they get the right of a basic sendoff. As far as I'm concerned, Collier's only
crime was growing up near a church that clearly showed its bigotry against
homosexual people.
I
didn't know Vanessa Collier. But by all
accounts she was a woman who wanted to do right by her wife and her
children. She deserved more dignity at
her funeral than what she was given.
And
it's incidents like these that have turned me off of organized religion in the
first place. Granted, this is an
extreme example here - one that I hope is not repeated at other places of
worship any time soon. However, I have
come across people who are very much churchgoing types who have exhibited less
intense displays of cruelty. These
people attend church services every Sunday morning to pray away their sins and
to praise God, only for them to treat their fellow man like garbage the rest of
the week. The amount of homophobic,
racist, and thoughtless comments that I have seen coming out of the mouths of
these people who claim to love everything about God and what God teaches are
enough to make a sailor blush.
It
is not okay for people to behave one way at a church and behave in a completely
opposite manner when they take off their church attire and interact with people
in their homes, jobs, or public places.
And honestly, I am afraid of people who are like this.
Now,
does this mean that I will avoid going to a church again in my lifetime? Absolutely not. That would not be common sense.
But I can't say that those people who show their hypocrisies and their
closed-mindedness after the wine has been spilled and the bread has been broken
are absolute shining beacons of God's work.
So,
let me have it. I've said my
piece. And I stand by it too. While my thoughts about whether God exists
are ones that I actively question, they are mine, and nobody influenced me to
have these thoughts but me. And one
day, I hope that there will be a place out there where people can go where they
do not have to be judged by how they feel about religion, or how they don't
have to feel left out because they believe in something that others do not. It will be a place where people love and
respect each other for who they are...the way that God intended them to
be. And until we get rid of the
hypocrisy and the judgment that people take with them into organized religion,
then I refuse to be a part of it.
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