I
think that this is a year in which everything is going to become crystal clear,
so to speak. At least, I'm staying
positive that 2015 will be the year that answers a lot of unanswered questions.
Because
I have already decided that 2015 will be the year of positive
thinking!
For
instance, I am positive that 2015 will be a better year than the murky, sludgy,
disgusting mess that was 2014.
You
know how when we were kids, we used to have snow days that prevented us from
doing much of anything? As kids, we all
loved them because they prevented all of us from going to school. But if you look beyond the superficial
reason behind why we wished for snow days as a kid, you'll notice that the
skies are dark, the air is cold, and the ground is so slippery that you can't
figure out how to walk in a straight line.
I
consider 2014 to be an entire year of snow days. Not necessarily saying that I was completely depressed and
miserable during the whole year. I did
have some great moments last year. I'm
saying that in 2014, I had pretty much a year of stagnation and uncertainty
where I questioned basically everything that I was doing, and focusing too much
on negative things instead of positive ones.
And admittedly, that lead to some really frustrating days.
2014
wasn't the worst year that I ever went through, but it certainly wasn't the
best.
And
a lot of that comes from the fact that I had a hard time staying positive when
it seemed like everything and everyone around me was negative.
I
have never exactly been the kind of person who would stand up for myself. I guess in some ways, I could be considered
a people pleaser of sorts. I would try
to do everything possible to be everybody's buddy, even if I wasn't treated
with the same respect back. It turned
out to be a lousy way to be, especially when I was younger, but I had assumed
that once I hit adulthood, those days would long be past, and I would finally
have the freedom to be who I wanted to be without any judgment.
Of
course, in 2014, this wasn't the case.
In fact, 2014 was probably one of those years that started off with me
being completely beat down by people who I never expected to be beat down by.
These
people included neighbours, social media contacts, customers, co-workers, and
other people who I dealt with on a daily basis.
Now,
of course, there's nothing that I could do about the customers that
were...shall I say...less than pleasant.
Not that I would want to anyway.
After dealing with them, I usually didn't see them again for another six
to eight weeks. Besides, anything they
do makes them look foolish.
Not me.
But
I really had a bit of a learning experience when it comes to dealing with
people this past year. And one thing I
noticed was that part of the reason why I was feeling so down about myself was
because I was always hanging around people who were Debbie and Derrick
Downers. People who lived only to
complain, complain, complain. Whether
it was lunchroom gossip about other people at work, or whether it was people
making fun of other people on social media, or whether it was instances in
which people who I thought were good friends turned out to be wolves in lamb
suits.
(Yeah,
yeah...I know sheep's clothing is the proper term...but since when do sheep
wear clothes? Never did understand that
expression.)
This
past year, I had to go through a lot of negativity which in turn caused me to
be rather negative myself. And, believe
me, I hate feeling that way.
Even
on days in which I was feeling on a high and wanted to share that with people,
I had people always knocking me down.
They would criticize everything I did, or they would purposely make
comments to me that sent my happy thoughts crashing down around me. And, you know, for a while, I decided that I
would take it as constructive criticism.
I had made a pledge to myself that I would not end any friendships with
anybody no matter what the circumstances were because I knew how it felt to be
rejected, and I didn't want anyone to feel this way.
There's
just one problem with that. If you
allow toxic people into your life, and allow their words of negativity to
fester inside of you, it not only destroys your self-confidence and personality
to the point where you lose yourself.
It actually impedes your ability to make new friendships and experience
new opportunities with new people.
And
that is one hassle that nobody needs.
So
that is why before 2014 ended, I made a commitment to reverse my previous
feelings about friendship. No longer
was I going to tolerate friendships that were one-sided, damaging, or
toxic. I cut myself away from gossipy
co-workers who only spread rumours about others to make themselves feel
better. I unfriended about fifty people
from my Facebook page on "National Unfriend Day" to remove the
negativity there. Truth be told, some
of them had it coming for a long time now, and since I've gotten rid of them, I
have found that social media is a lot more fun!
Most
importantly, I'm beginning to figure things out a lot more, and I am coming to
the conclusion that at the beginning of a new year, things are going to be
okay. I have positive people in my life
who will offer constructive criticism when they need to, but who will also
support me no matter what I do. I have
decided to spend more time socializing with people in the real world rather
than the online world (though I do have a lot of love for the few online
contacts I have kept). And, I have a
clearer view of what my goals in life really are.
I
just have to stay positive. Positive
thinking wins every time.
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